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BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER
DON’T RE PARTNER UNTIL YOU FINALISE THIS RELATIONSHIP
There are several realistic support outcomes you can expect from a separation: ◊ ◊ ◊
Your family will usually side with you. Your friends will usually side with you. Your partner’s friends and family will usually side with them.
That’s the way things are. You may be able to maintain a relationship with your ex-partner’s friends and families, but it will be hard work. If you do wish to maintain positive relationships with your ex-partner’s connections, don’t speak badly about your ex-partner to these people. They are not interested and have their own lives and problems. Remember also that they probably hold your ex-partner in higher esteem than you do. Furthermore, don’t say anything about your ex-partner that you wouldn’t want to reach their ears. You will likely find that anything you say is reported back to your ex-partner, only to make things worse if you’ve spoken about them negatively. Seek more appropriate means of talking through your emotions or unburdening yourself. You may wish to seek the support of a psychologist, counsellor or priest.
The stress associated with a separation or divorce can actually be worse than the death of a partner. If your partner dies, you receive sympathy and people join you in mourning. When you separate, there may be little understanding. People may avoid you because they are sick of hearing tales of woe. You may be haunted by reminders of your ex-partner everywhere. Psychologists indicate that the mourning period for a partner who dies or a partner who separates is approximately the same; two years. During this time, you will experience many emotions, including sadness, anger, despair...and finally, acceptance. Two years later, you will be ready to move on with your life and may be interested in another relationship. It is advisable not to re-partner too quickly, before you have reached a stage of acceptance. After all, if you are still working through problems from your previous relationship, you may bring these issues into your new partnership.
