LOOK AFTER THE KIDS

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BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER

Polite and reasonable behaviour not only builds a bridge for the future, it paves the way for a polite and reasonable response.

In certain situations of domestic violence or threat to safety, a family may need to melt away without a trace. This is extremely hard to do in today’s age of electronic surveillance and warrants specialist advice before any decision is made.

◊ Inform your partner, preferably in person, within a private, neutral space such as at the kitchen table.

Make sure the children aren’t around and discuss the separation when you are both not tired. ◊ Be prepared to either answer questions about the decision to separate, or say that you will do that in the future. ◊ It is natural to expect high emotion and tears.

◊ Who will move out and when? ◊ Who will pay the next rent or mortgage payments? ◊ What will you tell the kids? Will you tell them together? (If you can, this is advisable) ◊ If one or both of you are moving out, where will the kids live and how will they share time with their parents for now? ◊ What will you tell your parents and friends and how? ◊ When will you have your next discussion?

If the separation is inevitable and you are in a safe environment, consider taking the following positive actions:

Have discussions then or at a time soon after, about immediate considerations: