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FROM FUNCTIONAL TO F ♥ CKING FANTASTIC
If you find that the yes is weak and fragile, an ambitious growth plan can potentially ruin what is between the two of you. And if the yes is a heck yes, you can probably be very ambitious in what you want to bring into your relationship with your partner. In life nothing is static, so to regularly ask yourself, “How is the yes right now in this moment of our life?” is a vital component in a relationship. I am allowing myself a slightly masculine metaphor by claiming it’s like driving a car; even if we find ourselves in a high-performance sports car, if the road is full of sharp turns we can’t give full throttle—even the most finely tuned race car will tumble into the grass if we don’t mind how hard we push the gas pedal.
How awareness of our choices changes the game Somehow scientists have concluded that we are aware of about 10 to 15 % of the choices we make as we go through a normal day. Let us for the sake of argument accept that for a moment. That means that for a majority of all the choices we make daily, we are not aware of them. I believe that that is the way it’s supposed to be. In my view, evolution favored the ability to allow some kind of autopilot to make a lot of the decisions we need to make without us being conscious about them. This means that if we are able to decrease the amount of so-called “autopilot decisions” by just a few per cent, we also have a chance to realize how much our upbringing and our society is governing our daily life and the choices we make in it. A telling example that shows this mechanism is when we look at most relationships around us. In most relationships our partners are very much involved in how we as individ-
