• You'll read about it hear about it . you'll see it for yourself -In sports, in business, in homes all over America, smoker after smoker who has tried and compared different brands duri ng the wartime cigarette shortage has found Cam els the "choice of experience " !
Why? Hockey Star Cal Gardner says, "O f all the brands I tried, Camels suit my 'T-Zone' best!"
And that's where you'll find the answer- inyottr "T-Zone." Try Camels and let your own experi· ence tell you why more people are smoking Camels than ever before!
STAFF
Editor-in -Chief .. PAT VELENOVSKY
111/esthampton College Editor PEGGY HARRI S
Law School Editor AL BERT Rus s 1NOFF
Acting R ichmond College · Editor FRANK W ENTZEL
Art Editor . JIMMY BANKS
Arsistant Art Editor . SETH DAR ROW
Asst. Westhampton College Editor , DOROTH Y TooLE
Poetry Editor
Feattl1'es
Fiction
Exchange
Art Staff
MIMI THALENBERG
KEN NY B U TLER , JO YCE PARRISH
WILMA L UM, WILB UR THOM AS W ALLY McGR AW
ELLE N LARGE NT, ANN WILE Y
Editorial St aff H ANNAH BARLOW, WALT MAHON, JIM PAYNE, ELIZABETH WEBB , DON WILSON , fLORA TEANNE ZBAR , B ARBARA COVINGTON, LETITIA EARLL.
Pub li s hed in Oc-tober, D ecembe r , February, Ap ril and l\Iay by Un iv er s i ty of Richmond Publication!-. 1 Incorporated. Right is reserved t o a lt er co ntribution s to meet publica- tion 1·equir erne n ts. A ll communi cat ion s s h ou ld be addressed t~. THE l\1ESS.ENGER , Box 126 , U niv ers it y of Richmond , \ 1rginia.
Member Virginia Int erco ll egiate Press Ass ociation
Free, Free, Free 0
NE of the first laws given to the young student of English is: "Thou shalt not split ' an infiniti { e. " The punishm~nt for breaking this law has never been set down , but it covers a wide range, all the way from humiliation before the class to a sarcastic squib on a paper. So, for many years students of grammar have sweated and strained to keep the infinitive in a healthy condition Could anything be worse than an infinitive with its head where its tail should be- or vice versa? Not to some teachers. But you and I really are free. Yes, we can try to swiftly run, or even begin to quickly , effortlessly , with swan-like grace, jump. You are free to twist infinitives any way you please .
Do you know that all of this was true way back in the 14th century, and that all of your trouble is due to some die-hards who lived in the 18th and 19th centuries? These characters thought that "to" was a part of the infinitive; therefore, "Thou shalt shalt not split an infinitive." Arise and rejoice ye slaves Throw off your shackles and sing your songs of joy to the sky-and split those infinitives into small pieces
You think that that is all? Well, you are wrong. Remember John Dryden? He is the instigator of one of the foulest criminal ideas ever foisted upon mankind, and the Eng lish speaking world in particular. Dryden was looking through his Latin book one day when the idea struck him that the English speaking peoples were not too particular with the use of the preposition . That was sheer heresy in Latin, so Dryden decided it should be the same in English So today people run all over the place trying to keep "with" from the end of the sentence
People should be freed from the old bugaboos which haunt our language Language is to be used for your pleasure and benefit. If you cringe every time you open your mouth for fear of making a mistake you might as well keep quiet. And many of the rules and regulations which have been carried over to pester ordinary folks are unnecessary and bulky. So, it isn ' t as bad as you thought , and life can be beautiful.
I don't know about you, but I feel free now that those two shadows no longer hang over me.
-P.V.
[ 1 J
YOUTELLUS
Dear Reader: Here is a chance to blow your stack about THE MESSENGER.Please check the applicable ideas, and fill in the blanks. Then, tear out the page and put it in the box provided in the Playhouse. Please be honest, and co-operate with us. In this way we can improve the magazine. Thanks, The Staff.
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( If you would like to sign this, go right ahead. We promise not to sue or shoot.)
The Storyof Penicillin
WHEN Paul Ehrlich developed his famous Salvarsan back in 1910 , he unknowingly became the father of Chemotherapy, wh ich is the method of battling infectious diseases by the introduction of chemicals into the body. His mag ic bullets are one of many arsenicides which comprise orte branch of Chemotherapy The second branch came with the discovery of the remarkable sulfa drugs thirteen years ago. Their efficiency against a number of bacterial diseases opened a yet uncompleted chapter of Chemotherapy The third landmark of this new science was the discovery of the antibiotic drugs , one of the most impo rt ant being penicillin .
An antibiotic is a drug which is obtained from na t ur e as a by-product of some living process Penicillin is a metabolic exudate of certain species of g reen molds. It has the amazing capability of inhibiting and even killing some types of microbes. The name antibiotic ( against life) is quite descriptive of these substances' vital function.
Antibiotics are , for the most part, very different from ordinary disinfectants and antiseptics. This difference may be traced to their origin , chemical compo sition, antibacterial properties , mode of action upon bacteria , and effect upon the human body.
Penicillin is a metabolic product of a specific variety of common mold known as Peni cill u m n otatum Professor Alexander Fleming , at St. Mary ' s Ho spital , London, noticed in 1929 that the mold growin g in the presence of certain bacteria exhibited a powerful antibacterial effect. It was by accident that the mold had contaminated his cultur es o f bacteria. Investigating further, he separated the contaminating mold from the other microor ganisms on the culture plate and g rew it alone He found that an antibacterial substance was secreted into the medium. This substance, when isolated, was found to prevent the growth of a number of bacteria and, above all , was nontoxic for animals even in very large quantities
Fleming ' s results, published in a British journal , received little, if any, attention from the medical profe ssion. The advent of the revolutionary sulfonamides was due to be the focus of the chemiists' and clinicians ' interest for the next six years.
In 1936, a group of investigators at Oxford University began a research project which eventu-
ally led to the popularity which penicillin so rightly deserves today . These pioneers, under the direction of Professor H. W Florey, completely confirmed the reports of Fleming. They obtained a brown powder which was the effective agent in penicillin.
Today penicillin is used primarily against grampositive bacteria. Those disorders against which it is most effective include osteomyelitis , carbuncles, meningitis, cavernous thrombosis , mastoiqitis , gonococcic infections, syphilis, particularly in pregnancy, pneumonia, wound infections, gas gangrene , and many others in a constantly expanding list. It is a n interesting fact , and a highly fortunate and important one , that most of the diseases against which penicillin is unsuccessful have recently been conquered by streptomycin Thus while the triumphs of chemotherapy have included the conquest of previously baffling diseases, the results of further research may be equally significant.
Upon consideration of the chemical and biological p ro perties of penicillin , the body ' s tolerance of its presence , and its extraordinary activity ag ains t variou s bacteria, the conclusion is certainly justified that this drug is one of the safest therapeutics yet known , particularly when cont ra sted with the sulfonamides Penicillin has an action so selective that it is capable of destroying invading bacteria without injuring the cells of the body
Penicillin has been available to the medical profession for the general public only since the recent wa r , but today it is readily av ailable in several forms. It may be given orally, intravenously , intramuscularly, and locally. Further experience is a necessity before its full value can be appraised, but the numerous dramatic recoveries that have been reported by many investigators indicate that penicillin, the product of a lowly organism, is a powerful weapon against many serious diseases. It is manufactured commercially by several methods which vary in the method with which fermentation is obtained.
The discovery of penicillin , followed by that of streptomycin, indicates the possibility of isolating other antibiotic drugs from microorganisms. These new products open fertile pastures both for the chemist and the medical man. Perhaps (Co ntinu ed on p age 16)
[ 3 ]
Nothing For Something
WISE MAN once said, "Nothing in this world is free." Ah, how right he was! Even in this marvelous atomic age of ours, nothing is free The most luscious of the "something for nothing" offers which are most generally found in the American public's favorite true-story or crime-busters magazines must disappoint thousands of "intelligent" citizens every day. A more appropriate phrasing of the slogan of these magazines would be, "Nothing for Something. " Believe me, I've found out!
Donning my "new look of 1945" skirt, my frilly pink sweater-girl blouse, and my "Miss Australia" play shoes, I inserted a wad of chewing gum between my scarlet painted lips and went trucking down the well beaten path toward one of the 190 billion "Buy-your-magazines-here" stands.
Being a subscriber to only such periodicals as the New Yorker and the University of Richmond MESSENGER, I was truly amazed at the wide display of literary tidbits awaiting my selection. A greasy little penny-clutching hombre, who seemed eager that I make a prudent choice, oozed between my searching eyes and the vast number of rocketshooting automatics, heroic cowpunchers and well developed but bared females that gle~med at me from the racks. I let my friend and advisor press into my hand three of his most lurid prizes, and returned home to grub for the rich pickings advertised in my purchases.
Something for nothing? Yes, of course! My newly acquired possessions were pack-jammed with everything from plywood totem poles with bird boxes built in the mouth of the "high man," to pure and pedigreed hotdogs. And everything was free!
I decided to break in my experiment by sending for a sample of a "tasty treat for your dog ." This little pinch of pulverized meal was, incidentally, the only physical reward of three months corre-_ spondence with twenty-three gift-giving, longestablished, but fly-whenever-necessary companies.
I chose as the recipient for my affections a redeyed, warm-nosed little mongrel, whose morning vocal exercises usually managed to beat my alarm clock to the punch. Sweet dog! He was tickled pink; then he changed his mind and was tickled green. Now my faithful \Y/ estclox does its job.
Being a college senior, I have for some month s faced those two age-old problems which all senior s face First, will I graduate in June? And second , what will I do if I don't? Because the answer to the first of these questions lay in the hands of powers stronger than I, I applied my thoughts to the second. What will 1 do? Upon scanning my magazines the answer Lbecame apparent. I woul d not put all of my eggs into one basket-I woul d divide my dozen into six baskets. Lea~ing two at Westhampton, I sent the remaining to five oth er schools; the College of Swedish Massage; th e Northwestern School of Taxidermy; the New spaper Institute of America; the Washington School of Art; and the College of Grapho-Analysis. Each of these would send, at no expense to the inquire r, explicit directions as to how to follow their prescribed careers. Let Professors X,Y, and Z flunk me in Economics, Spanish, and Philosophy. Let me forget why Hitler's schemes were similar to tho se of Na pol eon. My five other schools promised me more lucrative earnings than a college diplom a would ever afford. I took immediate steps.
The College of Swedish Massage was one of the most attentive of my correspondents, also one of the most businesslike. First, at a cost of four and one-half cents to them ( in postage alone) came their catalogue. The cover bore only the impress ive name and seal of the college, but inside of th at cover were marvels not to be found in the ordin ary college catalogue. On page one was a replica of the 11- by 14-inch diploma that could be mine in as little as 13 weeks. "Ah," I cry, "this is far different from my present location, where I may spend 160 weeks, and find them all in vain." Shaking with anticipation I thumbed through the rest of the catalogue. On page nine I read, "the constant quest for beautiful figures among women, and trim waistlines among men, has caused thousan ds to turn to massage for aid in attaic1ing good body contour. As a result, ever increasing numbers of competent masseurs and masseuses are needed all over the country to take care of this growing demand for scientific massage treatments." How easy it would be to get a job. But as I went on leafing through the well illustrated catalogue, I discovered: first, the students looked ill; second, the
pa tients looked dead; and third, the graduating There I saw a picture of their President; a look class looked as if they sh'ould be patients. into the eyes of the photograph assured me that I Besides, the information on how to be a Swedish must be looking into the eyes of President George ma sseur was supposed to be free. It was- the in-M. Modlin of the University of Richmond. The for mation, that is. All you had to do was to mail resemblance was too strong for comfort. I felt the " $5.00 with the application, and $10.00 a month need of a "short snort" and a review of my correun til $95.00 was paid ." As the reply envelope re-spondence from the Northwestern School of Taxiquired a three -cent stamp, I decided to wait a dermy. whi le before making my decision Eight days later A further look into this line stirred no embers to I received another letter, enclosing another appli-flame My interest in the school in the first place ca tion blank. The letter asked, "are you in the one-had been roused only by my roommate ' s avid dein-ten who are confused as to what steps they can sire to own book ends similar to those appearing take now to safeguard their future? Mail in our in their advertisement. I tried to point out to her enrollment blank now , and keep your future se-that even H Allen Smith would consider a dead cure." I noted that the rates had been reduced to and well stuffed frog leaning on either side of one "$ 5.00 with the application and $5 00 per month of his masterpieces deliberate degradation. She unti l $87 50 had been paid. " The letter advised me was not convinced , however, until all additional to take advantage of the reduction now , a~ ever circulars of the company arrived , and she saw in increasing costs would force them to make a " sub- one folder a stuffed cat which had every earmark stan tial increase most anytime. " But that three-of her pet which had disappeared three years becent st amp still held me back . A month and half fore . After this shocking revelation , no number of later I received ·two more envelopes packed with excerpts from the letters of twelve-year-old boys more pictures and a third application for member-who were making fabulous sums in their spare ship. Business must have been looking up, for de-time, would convince her that this was a big opspite the predicted rise in costs, payments had now portun ity. I felt a certain guilt in my lack of interbeen cut to " $3.00 with the application and $ 3.00 est, fo r af ter all, the school had sent me the big per m onth until $87.50 had been paid." And with book (which became a book-let en route) on how thi s l etter a stamped envelope was enclosed! At to stuff 1tndmount birds , animals , fish, game heads, last my ship was coming in. But competition among reptiles, and insects-also polishing of horns, and schools made me wait again. the making of perches and stands . But their cata-
T he NJ.A. (Newspaper Institute of America, logue showing how resembled that of the college to the layman) wanted to help me. They sent me of Swedish Massage-a simple answer of " mailing "clues" as to what I should do if I were one of your forty dollars tuition fee with an application those " people who want to write-but can ' t get blank ." These free schools were not all they prestarte d. " An apology for the form letter was en-tended to be , I decided , and began thumbing closed , and this I accepted , for such concerns must through my magazines for more profitable enterbe terrib l y rushed with mail. Before this matter prises. could come to a head , however, I decided that the ' Directly under a picture of Miss Cuddle Bunny 99% I h a d made on my Grapho-Analysis Test of 194 7, I read, " Are you sick and tired of earning lesson pointed an unwavering finger toward my fat profits for somebody else? Will you accept our fut ure. Never before had I displayed such intelli-large illustrated course on the Art Novelty Manugence facturing and Liquid Ivory Business as a gift? We W h en the American Institute of Grapho-Analy-are practically giving you a ten dollar bill- ." sis r eturned to me the first lesson of their course, Why certainly, I'd be glad to accept ten dollars which was carefully corrected in red ink , they in-worth of any thing as a gift. I pasted the advertiseeluded a note which said that except for a question ment on a penny postal and eagerly waited. Within which they had not made clear, my score would ten days I had received a booklet which described have been perfect. The mistake was theirs, but they the assets of setting up a business in liquid ivory . did f eel that they must deduct one point. I re-read I still waited for my gift. Three days later I retheir n o te. Could this be a professor apologizing to ceived a rush-order form : "I am enclosing $10.00 a pupil? There must be a mistake. And then I as full payment. Please ship to me promptly your gla nced at the illustrated folder of the CG A Jumbo Liquid Ivory Kit. It is understood that your [ 5 ]
Art Novelty Manufacturing and Liquid Ivory Business Course, which you have been selling for ten dollars will be included free of extra cost. " So that was the way their gift worked-I buy a $10.00 Kit and they mail me free of cost, a $10 00 course. I decided to wash my hands of the whole affair But now the Empire Company had my address. Another week brought another offer. This time I bought a $ 10.00 Business Course , and the y would send, free of charge, a Kit valued at $ 10.00 . Another week passed , and I ignored all communications, pouting because I had not yet received my free " gift. " Another letter came, offering me , at $8.90, a combination of two kits- Liquid Ivory and Liquid Glass-plus secret formulas and full directions. This found the scrap basket also
My " foiled " attempts to gain free goods had frustrated me to such a degree that I found myself smoking almost two packs of cigarettes per day . For free directions on a cure of the tobacco habit, I wrote to the Newell Company . Thes e free directions had been found before--mail in an appli.cation blank ·for ten dollars worth of " Tobacco Redeemer. " Most of the testimonials enclosed were from men and women who had gained from 25 to 70 pounds when they rid themselves of the tobacco habit. Many of the bits of advice were to " chewers ," and my only gain from the venture was a smile at the slogan "Don ' t ' tobacco-spit' your life away! "
I decided that there must be ways to rid oneself of a tobacco cough without gaining at least 25 pounds! The Nacar Medicine Company wrote me that "Nacar " would ease "the horrible tortures of wheezing , coughing, and gasping for breath ," and that they would send me free of charge a 10-day bottle ( valued at $2.00) . (The advertisement did not mention the fact that the 10-day supply was free with an order of a 30-day supply at a cost of $ 5.00.) I dropped three airmail letters in the incinerator , with several application blanks from the Valligny Products, Inc., which had led me to believe that they would help me do a thorough " Shampoo-Kolar " job on my multicolored hair , and had enlightened me only by stating that " more women are coloring their hair at home today than ever . ." This was probably the only true statement in their correspondence.
Just as my hopes were striking a really low ebb , Joe Bonomo mailed to me, without charge, my membership card of the S. M. C. A (Strong Men's Club of America) . I think I shall always treasure
[ 6}
that card - the two brawny arms , clasped han d s in a hearty welcome and friendship , and my very own name scrawled between the broad shoulde rs Joe offered me also , at a discount, a " 5-week P reliminary Training Course, a Complete 14-We ek Hollywood Intermediate Cable Course, an A dvanced 10-Week Bar-Bell Course, a Black Beauty Cable Exerciser, and Heavy Duty Bone Crush er Hand Grips." Just think , by following the mo tt o of the club, " Success through Strength ," I may develop " a body men will respect , a muscu lar strength-packed body , vibrant with the rug ged manly p.ower to ' lick ' the toughest competition in sports, romance, etc.! ! !" If I had all of thi s, I would not need to be one of Mr. George Wagne r 's detectives, and surely I would need no assistance from Mary Lee's Correspondence Club . T h en someone told me that the club w as for m en on ly! Again distraught, I turned to my cut up magazin es. Without requiring one penny of investment on my part, the Pricing Press Company offered to give me " a lever long enough, and a fulcrum st rong enough " that singlehanded I could move the world, but I didn ' t want to move the world bad enough to knock on the door of every gro cery store in town. The Kristee Products Company offered a free sample of an easy invention th at w ould trim hair as you comb it. Yes, it was free-- fr ee when you ordered the big Kristee Selling Kit. T he Ho-Ro-Co Manufacturing Company had a similar answer. I am still awaiting my Selling Outfit fr om the Consolidated Shoe System, Inc., and am enjoying their monthly " newsletter " until supply can meet the demand for their outfits.
I received a " free rhyming dictionary" from the Richard Brothers, nationallly known comp osers and arrangers , but I usually picture a diction ary as a bound volume-not a single sheet of paper with a few columns of words listed on either side. And even I could think of words that had not ent ered the minds of employees of Richard Brothers . Now, thoroughly convinced that nothing in the world is free , I sit quietly on my bed, gazing a t my trunk of idle correspondence, and my batt ered copies of "Love ' s Own, " "Killer ' s Lust, " and "GMan's Dust." But if my booklets and many le tters represent nothing, I may still get somethin g for nothing, for I believe that I can sell them to a junk dealer who will buy " waste-paper-by -thepound " for a few cents more than my tw entythree postals cost!
- SETH DARR OW'
CHUM: "Have any of your childhood hopes been realized ?"
BUDDYMAYO: "Yes, when Mother used to pull my hair I wished I didn't have any."
LITTLE BoY: "Ma, what was the name of the last station?"
MOTHER: "Don't bother me, I don't know. Don' t you see I'm reading?"
LITTLE BoY: "Gosh, that's too bad you don't know ' cause Little Brudder got off there." -Varieties.
HOBOKENJUDGE: "Have you earned a dollar in your life?"
PRISONER:"Yes, your Honor. I voted for you in the last election "
-Pelican.
PROF.JONES: "Why were you late for class this morning? Oversleep again?"
JONES: "Yes sir. There were eight of us in the house and the alarm clock was only set for seven."
-The Rebel.
A co-ed was reading birth and death statistics. Suddenly she turned to a male on her right and said: " Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies? "
"V ery iflteresting," said he. "Why don't you try Sen-Sen?"
-The Pointer.
HE: " See that man playing fullback? He'll be our best man in about a week."
SHE: "Darling, this is so sudden."
-The · Turn Out.
WEATHER FORECAST: Snow tomorrow-followed by little boys on sleds.
FARMER:"That city dude is really dumb."
SoN: "Why?"
FARMER:"He found some milk bottles in the grass and insisted that he'd found a cow's nest."
-The Garnet.
"Pilot to tower, pilot to tower. Plane out of gas; am at one thousand feet and thirty miles over the ocean. What shall I do?"
"Tower to pilot, tower to pilot. Repeat after me, 'Our Father, who art in Heaven .. .' "
-Profile.
A woman was driving down a country highway when she noticed two men climbing a telephone pole a short distance ahead. She turned in disgust and said: "Those men are fools. They probably think I never drove a car before."
-Tomahawk.
Two men were leaving a motion picture. Each one was impressed-but in different respects.
"Isn't it wonderful," said Number One, "what progress the movies have made within these last few years?"
"Astounding," answered Number Two. "First they moved, then they talked, and now this one smells."
-Colonnade.
FIREMANIN BLUESARMORY:"Hey college boy, can't you read that sign about smoking in here?"
STUDENT: "Yes sir. It says, 'Fine for smoking.'"
DOCTOR:"Why do you have 'BF9287' tattooed on your back?"
PATIENT: "That's not tattooed. That's where my wife ran into me when I was opening the garage doors. "
-The Pointer.
FARMBoY: "I bought a coat in New York last summer and when I got home it looked like a sieve."
NEIGHBOR:"That's too bad."
FARMBoY: "Yea, you sure can't trust those city slickers."
(7 ]
Our ClassLass of theMonth
PEGGY " PIGGY" WELLS, SOPHOMORE, MIAMI, FLORIDA. A transfer from Virginia Intermont College in Bristol, Va., "Piggy " has quickly won the friendship of all the Sophomores. A blueeyed brunette with a Tennessee drawl, she likes hocky, sport clothes, and dancing although she admits, "_Arthur Murray could still teach me a thing or two ." Completely sincere herself, "Piggy" dislikes insincerity in others. Following her favorite subject, science, she hopes eventually to become a doctor. Favorite food: lollypops.
Dementi St udio.
Man vs Superman
0NE day las,t week I found myself trapped iq bed with a slight malady of so little significance that it wasn't even mentioned in Microbe Hunters or in Paul de Kruif' s monthly article in Readers' Digest. Trapped, I say, because the radio was on and I could not reach it to turn it off. Thus, I was forced to take it lying down; that endless flow of verbal "maple syrup ejaculations."*
I had just tried to wrap the pillow around my head to muffle the sound when precise! y at 5: 15 SUPERMAN came on. I'm afraid that there was no mistaking the fact that it wasn't a plane, or a bird, but the best facsimile the sponsors could get for their sexy, radio-genie version of SUPERMAN, who unknown ( except by several million people) doubles on the side for Clark Kent, and vice-versa .
The usual episode followed; the entire city was faced with a grave danger. A danger so great that everyone had given up and merely sat around waiting for the city to be destroyed by a gigantic plot. Everyone, chiefly the police and the newspaper staff, was standing around beating his head against the wall or any other blunt instrument which was within a radius of 26 feet , 9 and 7/ 16ths inches of him. Nothing could save them now; it looked hopeless; they were in danger of being killed, or even of losing some capital. Society was doomed. Civilization would be destroyed. Where was SUPERMAN? Would he never arrive?
Of course, he did arrive in the nick of time, and everything was saved, including the stock market and his identity. He scooped the other papers and the members of his own, including his old crony Lois Lane. Sh{:has been scooped in this fashion so many times before that it is a wonder to me how she manages to keep her job.
My estimate of the probable total radio audience for this program is something around five million.
The magazine SUPERMAN Comics has a total circulation of 1,672,169. If you count the one I bought on the sly while making this survey it was probably 1,672,169 for the month of January. SUPERMAN' s companion as the guardian of life, liberty, justice, and society in general, is Batman. This magazine boasts a circulation almost as large
*These quotes and the original idea from Ni ght Unto Night Philip Wylie. ,
as that of SUPERMAN. The circulation of the la tter alone is greater than that of TIME if this prov es anything. I shall not be forced into a discussion of the Luce "news" publication at this time.
As a rough estimate I would say that the rad io audience, plus the comic book readers of SUPE RMAN, plus millions of others who are bombard ed with it daily from newspapers, movies, and brea kfast food packages, adds up to about thirty-five million people a day. A thing of this proporti on is bound to influence personal thought as well as national thought. ·
What effects is this having on the psychology of the American people? These effects are gr eat a1;d can in no way be minimized. One aspect of this is the frame of mind which says that Amer ica won World War II (implying singlehandednes s).
The Germans thought they were Herrenvolk ( invincibles) ; we Americans are convinced that we are: The average European or other non-Americ an would have vouched for the fact that we thou gl-i.t ourselves omnipotent. That is, until the proposal of ERP.
These effects upon the American people range all the way from the frame of mind which says "might makes right," or the Raskolnikov attitu de fostered by Nietzsche ( which says that every man is a law unto himself), to extreme political lethargy on the other. On the surface of matters this would appear paradoxical, but it isn't.
The latter view, that of extreme political and social lethargy, is probably more indicative of the Southern mind than the former, though the for mer is not absent in the slightest from the over-all make-up of our regional personality.
Here the idea seems to be that America has existed for some time and shall continue to exist with, or without, our individual participation in the interests of state. "We' re a 'Christian' nat ion, so why worry?" " Right always triumphs. " " If America needs leaders they will rise as they h ave in the past and guide the nation to peace and pros· perity." This from the average man.
With this prevailing spirit we have not only political lethargy, but social naivete as well. ( This is ultra-reaction.) What are other causes of paliti• cal complacency that exist here as seem by polit ical scientists?
[ 10 J
( 1) The maintenance of the one-party poli tical system in the South. "In a measure low pa rticipation is a result rather than a cause. W hen different groups compete energetically fo r power, electoral participation is likely to be hig h. When a machine or a clique is unchallenged campaigns are apt to be desultory, and electoral participation low. " 1
(2) Maintenance of the poll tax which not on ly discourages Negro voting, as is one of its pu rposes , but white participation as well , regar dless of economic status. Voting in the seven remaining poll tax states is usually below a fo urth of those qualified to participate in the elections.
,
" The poll tax is blamed unduly yet it constitute s o ne element in the sickness of the South." 2
( 3 ) The economic colonial status of the Sou th. This explains why so many Southern congressmen consistently vote Republican (big business) on more than a few issues
(
4 ) Lower participation in all levels places in office a generally more conservative group The se groups desiring to maintain the status quo " can more easily win in local elections because of lower participation. " 3
Latel y stirrings of social and political repercussions h ave been noted in the South Because of the recent r eport of President Truman ' s Committee on Civil Ri g hts , and because it is somewhat liberal
' Politics, Parti es, and Pressur e G roups, V 0 K ey, Jr., p. 588.
' Ibid., p. 5 20.
' I bid., p. 588.
and cites social injustices and corrections which should be made if America is to be a demo cracy ( e.g. higher education), Mississippi and Alabama awoke from their political slumber long enough to cry out against needed social change and even threatened to secede from the Democratic Party. Students at the University of Oklahoma showed social progressiveness in their actions and protestations against the placing of racial bans by the state in certain institutions of higher learning This is to be commended .
In summary , we in the South are living in a fascist society and are endorsing it by our silence-except in the two previously mentioned states where they are advocating it aloud . There are some who think that democracy will eventually evolve into fascism . It has been said that "democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few. " As the situation now stands this is a decided truism in the South. But I use another quotation which it is your power as a Southerner to prove untrue - "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. "
I am taking the role of an iconoclast in trying to tear down this cult of SUPERMAN and his followers , an d it is for our own regional, national, and even international good that this be done. We must g et at the causes of our psychopathology. One of these causes is " the comic strip vice " * which chains us to bigotry , intolerance , arrogance , aggression , and even lethargy A psychological revolution is needed desperately . The destiny of the human race depends upon it.
-B G
My Friend's Wife
THE other day I was talking to a friend of mine who has one of the worst problems anyone could have--a problem wife . If you happen to be married to a cantankerous member of the opposite sex, you may have an idea of what it's all about ; however, if you are not so fortunate , it would be a good suggestion to settle back and enjoy this tale of woe.
Of course, history has provided us with some famous problem wives like Lollia Paulina, wife of a Caesar , who wore an evening gown worth two million dollars , and Mary Shelley , wife of the poet, who spent her spare time writing Frankenst ein. But they were merely average , accordin g to my friend.
Just last week this friend of mine came home to find a ton of soft coal and two cords of wood blocking the driveway. Since they burn gas, he thought it must be a mistake But it wasn't. The little lady had bought the coal and wood to feed a couple of silkworms-so they could make nylon and counteract the silk problem.
It didn ' t take my comrade long to reali ze that his wife wasn ' t the average problem wife . That's probably because she did not come frol1} the average problem family During their honeymoon the groom got suspicious when he first met her family and got a peep at their model farm. One tip-off was the fact that the father was going barefooted -he ' d nailed his shoes up over the stable because the horses thought it would bring them good luck. The wife assured him her father was mentally sound-he w as only a little worried, she said, because his two cows were so old that the only way he could get a ny milk out of them was by drawing it out with a poultice
Another incident, among the things th a t set the new hubby to wondering, was when the wife took him out to the barn and introduced him to a donkey named Uncle Gilbert. This was a matter of sentiment , she explained. A few months befor~ they ' d sent her Uncle Gilbert to town to sell the donkey for twenty dollars. Apparently he couldn ' t get the price , but some sort of sale had been concluded-because that night the donkey came home with a ten dollar bill in his mouth.
After a week on this muddled farm, this friend of mine began hinting to his wife that she and her
family seemed a little bit on the eccentric side. "Well, why don ' t you go and have yourself psychoanalyzed and find out what's the matter with us? " she suggested. It didn ' t make sense, bu t it was the best off.er hubby had ever had from h erso he went.
The psychoanalyst was fascinated with the story of the wife .and her family . Quietly he listene d as my friend told how they kept her grandfath er in the broom closet because he was a Wallace m anhow they were trying to develop chickens with double chins so there ' d be more meat on their necks-how her brother was so kind to animal s he spent all his spare time in a Turkish bath havi ng a masseur pat the dog tattooed on his back -unti l finally the husband was explaining how the mother was a little nearsighted and was always mista king billboards for postage stamps and trying to lick them and stick them on letters.
At this point the psychoan a lyst interrupte d. "Mr. --," he said , "do you ever see spot s before your eyes ?"
The reply was negative.
" Well ," the psychoanalyst continued, " if you ever do see spots , just make believe they ' re tapioca and put sugar and cream on them . They ' re delicious! " And, with a peculiar laugh , he put on his strait jacket and went home.
A few days later, this friend of mine m et a· psychiatrist who was a little more helpful -but not much. "You've got nothing to worry about," he said cheerfully. " You ' re merely in the same boat as a man who's climbed a tree and caught a gri zzly bear and wants somebody to help hi m let go of it!" His theory was that the little w oman needed something entirely apart from her m arried life to interest her and make her feel indepe ndent. Then the psychiatrist wanted to know if the Mrs. had any hobbies . Well, it so happens that she has nothing but hobbies - hobbies and hallucin ations --:-so the doctor wits told a few of these .
He nodded approvingly when he was told that the little woman played badminton , but he was a trifle puzzled about why she used lamb chops instead of " birds. " The husband explained that batting the lamb chops back and forth made them mce and tender for dinner. The doc was also ( Conti nu ed on page 16)
[ 1 2 ]
Exchanger> s Lament
Ah, pity the poor Exchange Editor, The man with the scissors and paste. Oh think of the man who must read all the jokes And think of the hours he wastes.
He sits at his desk until midnight, How worr ied and pallid he looks , As he scans through the college comics And reads all the funny books.
This joke he can't dip-it's too dirty. This story's no good-it's too clean. This woma n won ' t do-she 's too shapely This chorus girl's out-it's obscene.
The jokes are the same, full of coeds, And guys who get drunk on their dates, Bathtubs, sewers, and freshmen , And stories of unlawful mates.
Jokes about profs and the readers, Jokes abou t overdue bills , Jokes abou t girls in their boudoirs , And each as old as the hills .
Jokes about brides buying twin beds, Jokes about un wan ted kids , Jokes about Scotchmen and Frenchmen , Jokes about Irish and Yids.
The clips must be clean for the mothers, The clips must have sex for the boys, The clips must be packed full of humor Or the editor raises a noise.
The cracks must have fire and sparkle, Sprinkled with damn, louse, and hell, The blurbs must be pure -a nd yet filthy Or the manager swears it won' t sell.
Oh pity the man with the clipper, He's only a pawn and a tool. In trying to keep his jokes dirty and clean He's usually kicked out of school.
SCRIPTS 'N' PRANK S, Davidson College. [ 13]
"MYSHOEIS " , #VO~"
I'm stepping out with my best foot forward ... that's why I wear AIR-O-MAGICs, with their 88 comfortconstruction feotures ! I never knew how foot-happy I could be until I tried the patented, hand-moulded innersoles that make irritation a thing of the post; never an inside ridge, curl or wrinkle! AIR-O-MAGICsgives you the newest in style, the utmost in value. No breaking-in needed! Moderatelypriced
By KENNY BUTLER
Albums: Until 1935 when G.K. joined B.G. rhythm had been taken for granted in popular music. However, while playing with Goodman, Krupa's brilliance was brought to the front. "His astonishing speed, unswerving beat and limitless variations " placed at the top of the percussion division. In the G.K. "Classics Album" all phases of the Krupa bands are presented. In Drum Boogie and Let Me Off Up Town the big band style is shown . The humorous Knock Me A Kiss is sung by Roy Eldridge; the fine fem-vocalizing of Irene Day and Anita O ' Day are featured on Drum Boogie and That's What You Think. Completing the group are Tuxedo Junction, Leave Us Leap, and Drummin ' Man. Something new in music has been waxed, an album of the exotic entitled "Music Out of the Moon ." This is not good dance music, nor is it recommended for stormy night listening. It is fine for the solitary, dreamy listener. Arranged by Harry Revel, and conducted by Leslie Baxter, it can best be described as moodcreating background music. It should be familiar to all movie goers, as it is similar to the background music in " Spellbound," "Lost Week End," "Spiral Staircase, " and "The Red House." The weird human voice mass effect is achieved by the use of a new instrument which is played by passing the hands over an electronic field. The right hand controls the pitch, while the left hand controls the volume. Neither hand comes into contact with the instrument. Included in the album are Lunar Rhapsody, Celestial Nocturne , Mist O' The Moon, Radar Blue, Lunette , and Moon Moods. A new and exciting addition to any collection, and for the collector who likes something new.
Notes on the Notable: Betty Norton, former
Vaughn Monroe vocalist, is now with the Hal McIntyre crew .... Both Dizzy Gillespie and Chubby Jackson are taking outfits to Europe this spring. . Kenton will finish out his dance commitme nts this spring, and then confine himself to concert work. ... The musicians' unions aren't mad at the home record players; it is the commercial pl ayers the unions are after .... Just because A. Godfrey made one so-called hit, he thinks he is anot her "Frankie." His latest include Slap 'er Down A gain Paw , and I'd Give A Million Tomorrows. H e is backed by the "Too Fat Trio " ; that in itself should be enough to keep you from buying it. . . According to a man who should know, the finest that Kenton has ever waxed are Collaboration and Machito . ... Rose Murphy continues to amaze the public with her baby voice on I Can' t Give You Anything But Love Baby, and When I Grow Too Old To Dream. She calls it "chee-chee. " I call it foolishness, but America will buy anything th at is different. ... V. Monroe uses Johnny Long's vocal style on In A Little Book Shoppe backed by Passing Fancy . . .. Gene Krupa has a new disc out entitled Gene ' s Boogie , and Disc Jockey Jump. T he latter has Carolyn Gray on the vocals . ... Ted Weems' latest is Mickey , and Martins and the Coys . · Art Mooney's I'm Looking Over A Four Leaf Clo_;eris sweeping the country. On the other side of this disc is Big Brass Band From B razil ... Dinah Shore hits the top again in A Little B ook Shoppe , and I'll Always Be In Love With You ... Love Is So Terrific says Eileen W ilson with the Les Brown Ork; Ray Kellogg does the ~ipover with Dream Girl . . .. The new W oody Herman group backs the maestro on If An ybody Can Steal My Girl, and I Told Ya I Love Ya , Nou ' Get Out . Rumor has it that Jimmy Dorsey and Charlie Barnett are disbanding .... Louis J ordan is recovering from a case of "overwork" in Florida. He'll be back in several months ... Pegg y Lee and B G. knocked out some discs just befor e the ban which are slated for release in the near fu ture. ... June Cristy is back with Stan Kenton. An other addition to the band-those eye-arresting uniforms and the ascots with pearl stickpins .... The Paladium is toying with the idea of band s on week-ends only since the recent drop in business with the Lawrence and Jones Orks .... Mar garet Whiting led the Notre Dame alumni cheering sections and Peggy Lee did the same for USC during the recent game.
[ 14 J
Louis Prima: "The Man Who Plays Pretty For Th e People" got his start in the Latin Quarter of the city of jazz, New Orleans, a city more conducive and receptive to the development of jazz than any other city in the United States. It was here that Prima served his apprenticeship before advancing to the top in the music land. A strong innate ability plus long hard work was the keynote to Louis' success In 1935 he and his jazz combo became the talk of New York City. He had his usual number -of disappointments, but he soon overcame the competition of the established bands by offeri~g the public double value, a good solid dance band plus an entertaining personality. The fact that it is a solid band .will not be contested by many, but his personality is not known to those who have not seen this zestful character in action. He is "the personality in front of a band," according to his fans, who are many. We laymen would probably say that he h as a multiple personality, but the critics would more correctly term it a multiple of abilities. His raucous-throated chorus vocals are as well-known as hi s sharp trumpet style, but the third side is little known. Prima believes that a band leader has to l:,ea showman as well as a musician, and to this end he continually strives. When there is no trumpet playing or vocalizing, Prima is constantly in the spotlight with his spontaneous dance technique which carries him over the entire stage and onto the dance floor. Today as never before Prima is making friends in the music public, and from all indications he will continue to do so because of his fine musicianship and his interest in what the public desires
Brigadoon: The story of "Brigadoon " is told in music by the original members of the New York cast including Marion Bell and David Brooks as the romantic leads. They are beautifully assisted by Pamela Britton and Lee Sullivan. As the story opens w e see Tommy Albright and Jeff Douglas , two Americans who are lost in the Scottish Highlands a nd finally stumble into an unmapped village called " Brigadoon." As the two arrive the village fair is in progress "Down On MacConnachy Square." Here Tommy meets attractive Fiona Mac-
Laren who is busy helping her sister prepare for per wedding to Charlie Dalrymple which is to take place that evening. Although Fiona is the older of the two sisters she is unmarried for she is, as she says, "Waitin ' For My Dearie." Charlie Dalrymple expresses his feelings to the men in 'Tll Go Home With Bonnie Jean." The two Americans, charmed by its quaintness, and intrigued by its air of mystery, decide to spend the day in the town. Tommy is attracted to Fiona, and they go to the hills to gather heather for the wedding, singing "Heather on the Hill." Later, at the Maclaren home, Charlie arrives to sign the family Bible, and, because of the superstition which forbids the groom to see the bride on the wedding day, he sings "Come to Me, Bend to Me" to her through the closed door. Tommy and Fiona return from their walk and tell Jeff that it is "Almost Like Being in Love. " Tommy presses Fiona to tell him of the mystery which surrounds the village. She takes him and Jeff to visit the schoolmaster, Mr. Lundie, who reveals that Brigadoon was blessed two hundred years ago, and that it lapsed into a sleep from which it awakens for only one day every hundred years. He tells them that no villager is allowed to leave or the enchantment will break, causing the town to disappear forever. A stranger may stay only if he falls in love with one of the village girls. They all go to the churchyard. Here a disappointed suitor decides to run away and destroy the town Curtain, Act I. As the curtain rises for Act II the chase is continued and the runaway stopped only after he is struck a fatal blow on the head. Back in the Glen, Tommy tells Fiona that he is in love with her in "There But For You Go I." He decides to stay in the village. As they go to see the schoolmaster Meg Brockie entertains the villagers with "My Mother's Wedding Day " Tommy finds Jeff to tell him of his decision to remain in the village, only to learn that Jeff is the killer of the runaway. He leaves for home telling Fiona in "From This Day On. " But Tommy is haunted in New York with the memory of Fiona and returns to Scotland to find her and the village of Brigadoon.
[ 15 )
My Friend's Wife
(Continued from page 12}
keenly -interested in her surrealist painting fadand when he was told she painted her nightmares on panes of glass so she could seem them from either side, he got very enthused. By the time my friend got around to her collecting hobby the doctor was really excited. The husband explained that since he'd been with her, she had collected twelve tons of tin foil, 245,000 old phone books, sixty-five and a half miles of string, four trunkfuls of broken rubber bands and in a safety deposit box she had nearly three thousand pits from olives that used to be in chicken tamales.
The psychiatrist said he'd like to meet my friend's better half and interest her in his hobby, which was gardening. He went on to say that he'd collected 19,000 bottle tops and when he got time he was going to plant them and raise a beer garden.
My friend's biggest problem with his wife is her attitude toward door-to-door salesmen. The other day a very husky, handsome, and athletic young man came to the door. He said, "Lady, would that pygmy, undersized husband of yours be interested in a physique like mine?"
"No," she answered; "but I would!"
People are always suggesting things that will keep her busy, but what my pal is really looking for is something that will keep her from keeping busy. Every now and then some well meaning person tells her she ought to try her hand at writing. This is fairly harmless, except that she usually writes her stories on her husband's white shirts.
The little woman has tried writing mystery stories, but according to her husband, she had to give it up. She could never keep the murderer's name a secret after the first paragraph! She not only has a singletrack mind, but it's also a sidetrack!
They tell me the trouble with most problem wives is that they're very unhappy or very bored, but that's not this woman's trouble. Nothing bores her and everything makes her happy. She even gets pleasure out of simple little things like taking care of her husband's clothes. Not long ago she sent all of his coats to the tailor for alterations-she had them put buttonholes where the buttons had been. How would you fasten a coat that has only two
rows of buttonholes down the front? With extra cuff links, of course! Even the wife could see th at would be logical.
As if this were not enough, she's crazy about cooking-and crazy is the right word for it. Wh en she makes _an upside-down cake, she serves it upside down. Even the plate on top of it is upside down! For years my friend has been trying to get four-minute eggs for breakfast, but whenever the little lady gets his breakfast the eggs are alw ays soft. She says that ' s because her hands are very tender-she can't hold an egg in boiling water longer than two minutes!
Furthermore, she won't use cookbooks becau se a recipe once fooled her. It was recipe for a six-egg layer cake, and she was very disappointed because the cake didn't lay one egg , let alone six.
People of ten ask this friend of mine about his problem wife and matrimony, and he has reach ed this conclusion: Too many marriage bonds are guilt-edged. Eventually union with a problem wife boils down to this formula:
Before marriage he talked-she listened. After marriage she talked-he listened. Now they both talk-the neighbors listen.
-WARREN ROW E.
The Story of Penicillin
(Continued from page 3)
the hard-working chemist will obtain new in formation about the structure, theory, and synth esis of new therapeutic agents. Remembering his motto that "the theory guides, the experiment decides" he will attempt to bridge the gap in our me dical knowledge. For the doctor ,, recent advancem ents open a new era in clinical medicine. Back in the 1920's the world wondered whether a drug would ever be found which would combat bacteri al infections Today this need is being magnifice ntly served by the sulfa drugs, products of the laboratory, and the antibiotics, produced by microbe s.
The day is fast on its way when the physician will have at his finger tips a vast number of d rugs, each a specialized tool of chemotherapy , each especially adapted to the treatment of a parti cular malady. ·
JOSEPH S. JAMES , J R.
16)
EASYMONEY
OEPARlMEtll
That's n o wolf at your door - that's opportu n ity knocking! One buck-three bucks -fifteen bucks-all kinds of money (mostly American)-that's what PepsiCola Co. pays for gags you send in and we prin t.
Send your stuff, together with your name, a ddress, school and class, to Easy Money Department, Pepsi-Cola Co., Box A, L ong Island City, N. Y. All contribution s become the property of PepsiCola Co. We pay only for those we print. (At the ri sk of being thought sordidly commerc ial, we might add that while working "Pepsi-Cola" into your gag won't ins u r e you against a rejection slip, it 's a lea d-pipe cinch that it won't do your ch a n ce s any harm.)
Don't w rite home for dough-get it from your old Uncle Pepsi! You never had it so good ... just make us laugh and you're in like Flynn!
*** ***********
D
AFFY EFINITIONS
Even da ffier than the definitions is the fact th at we pay a buck apiece for any of these we can't resist. That's why we're shooting one rock to Louis W. Geier of New Orleans for our lead-off definition: Refresher course-a path to the nearest bottle of Pepsi.
Father -th e kin we love to touch.
Zebra-a Sing-Sing mule.
Nectar- pr e -Pepsi-Cola Pepsi-Cola. Twins- insult added to injury.
Look, all you have to do is write these. We hm, e to read 'em. Even so, we'll pay a bu ck apiece for the ones we buy.
JACKPOT
At ~he en d of the year, we ' re going to rev1~w a ll the stuff we ' ve bought, and th e item w e think was best of all is going to ge t an extra
$100.00
The guy who drew this had a caption in mind, but before he could put it on paper, the man in the white coat collected him. So w e 'll pay $ 5 for the best titles we get. Or send in your own original cartoon idea. $10 for just the idea •.• $15 if you draw it .•. if we buy it.
Here are the rich kids who latched onto Easy Money for cartoon captions and ideas in the October contest: $15.00 to Herbert John Brammeier, Jr., of St. Louis Univ.; $5.00 to each of the following: Katherine Meland of Syracuse Univ. ; David S. Steiner of Carnegie Tech.; and John French of Hotchkiss School.
--HE-SHE GAGS--
Old Phineas T. Barnum must have had us in mind when he said there's one born every minute. In the October contest, we sent three fish apiece to E. J. Maines of Knoxville, Tenn.; Ned Curran of Fordham University; Melvin Harrison of Brooklyn, N. Y.; Paul Pavalon, of Madison, Wis.; and Francis J. Chupa of Philadelphia respectively for the following gems:
He: What's your favorite hymn?
She: Why, you, silly!
He: May I kiss you?
She: (Silence).
He: May I please kiss you?
She: (More silence).
He: Say, are you deaf?
She: No, are you paralyzed?
She: Your head is like a doorknob.
He : How come?
She: Any girl can turn it.
He: I have a friend who always drinks Pepsi-Cola with a straw.
She: That's silly-who ever heard of a straw drinking Pepsi-Cola?
She: I'm getting worried about my husband. I sent him out for a Pepsi-Cola two weeks ago and h e hasn't come back yet,
He: That is a problem.
She: Yes, I need the Pepsi-Cola.
Yep, three bucks apiece for any of these we buy. What are you waiting for?
LITTLEMORONCORNER
How do you write a moron gag? Ju st put yourself in a moron's place and listen to the things you say. H ere's the masterpiec e that corralled a d euce in the October contest for M. M. Mitchell of A ustin, T ex as:
Muffinhead Moron, the man with the mind of a midge, was found sitting on
th e curb, exhau s ted, begging plaintively for a Pepsi-Cola. When asked wh y he was so bushed, he replied, typically: "I just walked through a scre en door and strained my self! "
$2 , cash money, for every moron gag we buy. With your contacts, how can you lose?
