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First published 2025 001
THE TWITS™ Netflix. ©The Roald Dahl Story Company Limited, 2025. Used with permission.
Text by Gary Panton
The moral rights of the authors and illustrator has been asserted Stock illustrations © Adobe Stock Image Library
ROALD DAHL is a registered trademark of The Roald Dahl Story Company Ltd. www.roalddahl.com
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You have just opened a very special book. You might have seen other books that are about magical fairies, daring ADVENTURERS or terrifying monsters. But this book contains something way better: TWiTs.










If you’re thinking to yourself, I’d much rather read about some Twits than any of those other things, then you’ve already passed your first tEst, because this book is all about deciding what you’d RAThEr do.
WOULD YOU RAThEr eat one rotting Brussels sprout or slosh around in a bath full of sprouty mush? WOULD YOU RAThEr live in a house full of weird invEntions or have a battered old amusement park in your garden? WOULD YOU RAThEr live a peaceful, quiet life or have the top of your head permanently stuck to the floor with huGtight sticky GluE?

Questions like these, and so many more, await you just beyond ThiS PAGE.






You don’t think Mrs Twit perfected her famous Bird Pie recipe without a few trial runs first, do you? Of course not! Just like Mr and Mrs Twit had to practise trapping helpless birds and imprisoning them in hot pastry, you should practise your WOULD YOU RAThEr skills.
So, before meeting Mr and Mrs Twit themselves, have a go at answering these questions. That way, you’ll be ready for anything that those two terrible turnips throw at you.
Eat Mr Twit’s BEARD-aGED sardines every day?
Or
Eat Mrs Twit’s BIRD PIE every day?
Find scramblED EGgs in your hair?
Or
Find a HAIR in your scrambled eggs?

Find a mushroom growing out of your armpit?
Or
Find a TOADSTOOL growing between your toes?
Have an army of wasps to do your bidding?
Or
Have one huge ELEPHANT that follows your every command?
Remember, each time you see a WOULD YOU RAThEr question, you have to choose one answer. That’s how it works!
Here’s another batch of questions to practise with. You’d better answer them quickly, before Mrs Twit tries to put you in a piE!
Wear a jumper knitted out of belly-button fluff? Or
Wear a hat made out of MASHED POTATO?
soAR through the air like a mighty eagle?

LEAP through the waves like a happy dolphin?
Be a famous influEnceR with millions of followers? Or
Be a MOVIE STAR in the latest smash-hit blockbuster?
Be a Ghost who no one can see, but you’re able to move things around and scare everyone? Or
Be a GHOST who people can see and talk to, but you’re not allowed to leave the graveyard?
Have someone shave your eyebrows off in the middle of the night, once a month, for the rest of your life?
Or
Never be allowed to wash your HAIR ever again?



Have really bad breath?
Or

Have really eggy farts?

Receive a visit from Santa Claus every night for a year?
Or
Be given Santa Claus’s job?
Only be allowed to listen to one song for the rest of your life but it’s your favourite song?
Or
Be allowed to listen to 100 songs but you don’t like any of them?

You did it!
Well done, you! Now turn the page to meet the biggest pair of sTinKERS in the town of Triperot.
Meet Mr and Mrs Twit. Aren’t they




GrUnTS
whEn shE
BrEAThES


FILThy BOOTs


sTicK FOr hITTinG
ThinGS anD PEOpLE


Which Twit WOULD YOU RAThEr have to live with?
Mr and Mrs Twit like to spend their days BickeRinG, playing hideous tricks on each other and causing havoc
all over Triperot. Would you ever want to spend a whole day in the company of such horrible HORRORS?
Or WOULD YOU RAThEr spend a day . . .

Sweeping up ElE-pLOPS at the elephant house?
Snorkelling around your local sEwERS?






Telling people that you’re a cat and responding only with ‘MEOW’ to anything that gets said to you after that?



Volunteering to clear up VOMIT at the Twitlandia amusement park (more on that later in the book!).
Arranging the TOEnaIL clippings of everyone you know into size order?









Peeling the skins off rotten potatoes at the Rotten Potato World ThEME PARk?
Doing tricky sums against the clock while standing ankle-deep in warm CusTarD?
Whether it’s Mr Twit keeping bits of food in his beard or Mrs Twit whacking people with her stick, Mr and Mrs Twit have some truly nAsTy habits. If you had to choose a bad habit for yourself (and you do),
Pick your nosE? Or Eat your TOENAIL clippings? Sniff your ARmpits? Or Suck your THUMB? scratch your bum every half an hour? Or BELCH loudly every half an hour? stAy up too late every night? Or GET UP too late every morning?




















