In Loving Memory
TRIBUTES TO OUR LOVED ONES
How to prepare a eulogy
Giving the eulogy at a funeral is an honor as well as an intimidating responsibility. Particularly if you are not accustomed to publicspeaking, it can be difficult to know where to begin.
Well, take a breath and relax. With a little forethought, you can prepare and deliver a stirring eulogy. It is important to invest the time necessary to prepare in advance. Do not wait to “wing it” during the funeral. That is a recipe for disaster. You may freeze up, ramble on, and miss out on the opportunity to pay proper tribute to your loved one. If you plan ahead and organize what you intend to say, it will minimize those dangers. When the time comes, you may choose to digress a bit from your prepared statements, but you will at least have a framework to guide you.
Writing the eulogy
To help with your preparation, make sure you carry a notepad, smartphone or tablet with you for note-taking purposes. Whenever you hear a family member or friend make a relevant observation about the deceased, quickly jot it down. This way, you can keep track of quotations, humorous stories, and factual information. Later, when you sit down to organize your thoughts onto paper, you can use your notes as a reservoir of ideas. If you are have difficulty recalling information or getting input from others, don’t be afraid to ask outright. Spark conversations by asking questions such as:
• What is your favorite memory of your time with them?
• If you could sum up their life in one word, what word would that be?
• What kinds of hobbies did they have?
• What nicknames were they known by?
When you have gathered enough information, it is time to put it all
together. While there is no right or wrong way to prepare a eulogy, the following blueprint can help you get started if you are unsure.
To begin, describe your own relationship with the deceased. Explain how you are personally affected by the loss. Remember that many of the people listening to you will understand fully and may share many of the same emotions. Next, work in some personal details pertaining to the deceased, and include three or four anecdotes. Tell stories that included you, or that were shared with you by others. Heartwarming accounts of generosity are powerful when delivered in a eulogy. Stories that demonstrate the person’s character will resonate with the people who miss them. Humorous anecdotes provide much-needed comic relief from the tension of a funeral service. However, be sure to keep the humor respectful and appropriate. If the loved one was a person of faith, you can make note of that, too.
Talk about life lessons you learned from them as well as the qualities that
made your loved one special. Whenever possible, tie these lessons or qualities into your anecdotes. Beware, however, of the danger of turning the eulogy into a story about yourself. Keep the focus on the person you are honoring.
Near the end of the eulogy, consider addressing the deceased directly. For example, you can turn toward the casket and say, “Mom, I love you and I’m going to miss you. You taught me well, I couldn’t have asked for a better mother, and you will always be close to my heart.”
You may choose to end on that note, or you may opt to share a final poem or read a verse from a favorite hymn in closing.
Delivering the eulogy
You should prepare a complete manuscript of what you plan to say. Though the process may be difficult, it will force you to focus an dorganize your thoughts in a coherent fashion. Using this manuscript, you can practice delivering the eulogy a few times to see how it flows and to edit for length. In most cases, a eulogy of five to ten minutes (two to four
typed pages) is appropriate. If you expect that you will stray from the manuscript during delivery, aim for shorter. If you tend to speak faster when nervous, prepare a longer eulogy.
Whether you take the complete manuscript to the podium or condense the eulogy onto cue cards is your decision. If you are nervous about speaking publicly, bring the entire manuscript up to the podium with you. Just having it handy can relieve your anxiety about getting lost during the eulogy. If you are a confident public speaker, condense the eulogy to bullet points on cue cards. This will help you deliver a more natural, conversational tribute to your loved one.
If you invest the time and energy in preparing the eulogy, you can approach your responsibility with confidence. Step up to the podium, take a deep breath to calm your nerves and get your bearings, and tell everyone about this wonderful person you are honoring.
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Anna Marie Ahern 1933-2025
La Jolla, CA
Frank D. Alessio 1935-2025
John William Anderson 1935-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
William Bartman 1945-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
2025
La Jolla, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Jack Alioto 1935-2025
Diane Apodaca 1941-2025
Spring Valley, CA
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Bella Bates 2003-2025 Carlsbad, CA
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Carol Edith Babich 1947-2025 Poway, CA
Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Helen Marie Allison 1938-2025
San Diego, CA
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Dalny Sutherland Balelo 1942-2025
LouAnn Baudrand 1934-2025
San Diego, CA
San Diego, CA
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Gene Bauer 1935-2025
San Diego, CA
Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Joseph Albert Alvarez 1942-2025 Poway, CA
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2025 San
CA
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Catherine “Kay” Ann Bays 1938-2025
San Diego, CA
Encinitas, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Edward Blessing 1936-2025
Julius C. Beretta 1943-2025
Dallas, TX In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
John Boaz 1938-2025
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Thomas William Bettles 1947-2025
La Jolla, CA
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
John E. Bokosky, MD 1954-2025
Del Mar, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Richard Raymond “Bo” Black 1952-2025
Pahoa, HI In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Carl Richard Brandt 1950-2025
La Mesa, CA
Earlene Blank 1938-2025
Poway, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Eric Christian Breault 1991-2025 Camrillo, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Jack Barouh
Diego,
Walter & Magdalena (Miti) Ruth Beljean
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Nancy Breitbarth 1944-2025
Blaine, WA
Ronald J. Brooks 1945-2025
Violet Namiko Callegari 1953-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Jimmy Carter 1942-2025
San Diego, CA
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Loretta Brown 1940-2025
Joan Stewart Camana 1945-2025 San Diego, CA
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Helen (Happy) Willis Cavignac 1933-2025 San Diego, CA
Carlsbad, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Captain John Richard Campbell 2025
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Thomas H. Chapman 1930-2025 San Diego, CA
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Michael Linwood Brown 1940-2025
San Diego, CA
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James S. Carlisle 1942-2025 La Jolla, CA
Robert Cairns 1947-2025
San Diego, CA
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James E. Carnicom 1948-2025
Joan Christensen 1944-2025 Minneapolis, MN
San Diego, CA
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1947-2025
San Diego, CA
Sharon “Sherry” Mary Coffey 1939-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Virginia D. Copeland 1941-2025
Carolyn Jean Colonelli 1941-2025
El Cajon, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Elaine Coon 1946-2025
Richard J. Crepeau 1962-2025 Boone, NC In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Chula Vista, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Tommy Lawrence Coone 1950-2025 Santee, CA
Bryan Copeland 1947-2025
Alice Jo Cryder 1938-2025 San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Janet Thackrey Daugherty 1938-2025 San Diego, CA
La Mesa, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Dorothy June Davidson 1927-2025
San Diego, CA
Corinne Diane Clark
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Barbara Deahl 1931-2025
Rancho Bernardo, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Samuel Colton George Fenlason 1996-2025
San Diego, CA
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In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Thomas Francis Delaney 1940-2025
San Diego, CA
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Suzie Tazuko T. Fourre 1930-2025
Poway, CA
Durward “Sandy” Graham, Jr. 1943-2025
Descanso, CA
Donna Lee Griffiths 1940-2025
Carolyn Grant 1932-2025 Riverside, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In
Loving Memory In Loving Memory
CAPT David Reese Dishman, USN (Ret) 1944-2025
Poway, CA
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Pauline Louise Freeman 1929-2025
Ramona, CA
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In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Sean Patrick Doyle 1962-2025
San Diego, CA
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Mary Petway Gallant 1944-2025
Patricia Joan Greaser 1933-2025
San Diego, CA
San Diego, CA
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Eileen Fagan 1935-2025 Poway, CA
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Carlos Z. Gomez 1944-2025
Rancho La Costa, CA
Darrin Dale Gregg 1960-2025 Escondido, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Martha Pace Gresham 1931-2025
Encinitas, CA
La Jolla, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Fadwa Harb 1937-2025
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Craig Griswold 1944-2025
Carlsbad, CA
Marne Royce Hadden 1951-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Edward Douglas “Doug” Harris 1936-2025
Rancho Santa Fe, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Charles Robert Hagan Jr. 1952-2025
Bonita, CA
James MacDonald Hall 1934-2025
Ocean Beach, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Eva Claudia Hatfield 1970-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Anajean “A.J.” Zurek Hauber-Kopkowski 1935-2025
San Diego, CA
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Mildred Ann Helsper (Belinsky) 1925-2025
La Jolla, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Marjorie Ann Hughes (nee Herman) 1931-2025
Carlsbad, CA
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Margaret (Peggy) Holl 1938-2025
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
John P. Jardel 1939-2025
Santee, CA
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Steven Herrera 1955-2025
Brecksville, OH
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Nancy Hollaine (Holly) Hopkins 1950-2025
San Diego, Ca
John Wesley Johnson 1933-2025
Anne Elizabeth Kellogg-Sharp 1936-2026
Carlsbad, CA
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Elizabeth Kruidenier 1931-2025
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
William M. Herrin, Jr., Col. USMC (Ret.) 1927-2025
San Diego, CA
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Susan Iverson Hyatt 1935-2025
Rancho Bernardo, CA
Jane Hildebrand 1932-2025
Carlsbad, CA
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
G. Allan Kingston 1935-2025
Lincoln, CA
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Neil Charles LaRosa 1933-2025
San Diego, CA
Elizabeth Turner Jordan 1937-2025
La Jolla, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Richard Lee Kintz 1944-2025
La Jolla, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Phillip Richard Laugen 1940-2025
El Cajon, CA
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Laury Ilene Isenberg 1941-2025
La Jolla, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Nobu Kato 1943-2025
Bonsall, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Rochelle Kline-Casey 1948-2025
San Diego, CA
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Barbara June Lawson 1945-2025
La Jolla, CA
David Holden 1969-2025 Nashville, TN In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Colleen James 1944-2025 Del Mar, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
David G. Kelley 1928-2025 Hemet, CA
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Robert Knox 1943-2025
Del Mar, CA
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Marshall Joseph LeTourneau 1945-2025
San Diego, CA
Linda Lewis 1947-2025
Carlsbad, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Rosalie J. Lococo 1924-2025
Shirley Marks 2025 Santa Monica, CA
Philip Clark McNamara 1957-2025
Longview, TX
Daniel Paul Milner 1952-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Martin
CA
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Alonzo “Lonnie” Jessop Lynch 1951-2025
Point Loma, CA
Donald Richard McNeal 1938-2025
San Diego, CA
CA
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Alice Mansfield 1932-2025
San Diego, CA
Faith McWilliams 1934-2025 La Mesa, CA
Mary Rose Masthay 1933-2025
CA
Eddy Mello 1932-2025 San Diego, CA
Richard “Dick” March 1931-2025
San Diego, CA
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Ruth Elizabeth Matranga 1942-2025 San Diego, CA
Mark Robert Millsom, Sr. 1937-2025
Rancho Bernardo, CA
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
William Jeffery Nagle 1954-2025
Carlsbad, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Dominic Moceri 1936-2026 Escondido, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Eleanor Doreen Northway 1930-2025
Vista, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Peggy Montroy 1938-2025 Poway, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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David Michael Morehead 1943-2025 Tustin, CA
Regina M. Morin 1934-2025
Jack (John Oliver) Ofield 1934-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Jim Ogle 1936-2025
San Diego, CA
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Shirley Orsinelli 1935-2025
San Diego, CA
Memory
Joshua Pack 2025
Dallas, TX In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Patricia L. Peterson
1927-2025
San Diego, CA
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Herbert John Price 1948-2025
San Diego, CA
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In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Mary Louise Pappas (AKA Pappagianis) 1928-2025
Chula Vista, CA
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Linda Kay Phillips 1944-2025
San Diego, CA
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Charles Berton (Bert) Prichard 1935-2025 Oceanside, CA
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Margaret (Peggy) Remsnyder 1936-2025
San Diego, CA
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Maria Jose (Zeca) Rodrigues 1954-2025
San Diego, Ca
Carmel “Mel” Ann Repp-Pearl 1940-2025
La Jolla, CA
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Betty Rothacher 1938-2025
Fallbrook, CA
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Judith Deborah Parzen 1933-2025
La Jolla, CA
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Harold Ray Pidgeon 1938-2025
San Diego, CA
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In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Marcia Lynn Peniche 1956-2025
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Claudine (Briles) Pierson 1930-2025
San Diego, CA
Frank “Frankie” Peterson 1954-2025 Ramona, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
James (Jim) Poe 1944-2025 San Diego, CA
Mary Louise (Schudel) Reber 1940-2025 Ramona, CA
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Fay P. Riha 1922-2025
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Betsy Rudee 1935-2025
La Jolla, CA
Rose Mary Register 1938-2025
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Marlene Robershaw 1934-2025
Ramona, CA
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Salli Vining Sachse 1943-2025
California City, CA
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Bettina Reinhold 1980-2025
San Diego, CA
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Carl Arthur Rodoni 1947-2025
Escondido, CA
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Gary Sage 1946-2025
Rancho Santa Fe, CA
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Peter Santrach 1932-2025
Escondido, CA
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Patricia Ann Shope 1943-2025
Poway, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Albert Earl Southworth Jr. 1930-2025
Rancho Santa Fe, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Per Eije Svedlund 1943-2025
La Jolla, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Jack Taylor Trily 1933-2025
La Jolla, CA
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Memory
Corky (Curtis) Sato 1954-2025
Chula Vista, CA
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David Lee Skoglund 1967-2025
San Francisco, CA
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Jacquelyn Spacek 1934-2025
Carson City, NV
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Diane Ketterer Tagle 1945-2025
National City, CA
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Patrick Trimm 1953-2025
San Diego, CA
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Mykolas “Mike” Seduikis 1943-2025
La Jolla, CA
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Col. Robert W. Smothers 1922-2025
San Diego & La Jolla, CA
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Timothy Stanton 1950-2024
Ramona, CA
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Mary Lou Terramagra 1936-2025
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Peter Seligman 1945-2025
San Diego, CA
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Joseph Sobon 1945-2025 El Cajon, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Luigi Trucchi 1961-2025
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Daniel E. Sesma 1960-2025
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Al R. Sorensen 1936-2025
Coronado, CA
San Diego, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Peggy (Mary Margaret) Melville Stern 1957-2025
La Jolla, CA
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Mary Ann Thomas 1935-2025
Long Beach, CA
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Daniel James Tucker 1952-2025
El Cajon, CA
Lydia Stewart 1936-2025
San Diego, CA
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Roger W. Tretera 1943-2025
Greencastle, IN
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Dr. Richard Ugoretz 1938-2025
La Jolla, CA
Linda L. Virgil 1947-2025
Friendsville, TN
Randall “Randy” H. Wallace 1957-2025
David Eugene Yeakel 1939-2025
San Diego, CA
S. Todd Neal 1967-2025
Rancho Santa Fe, CA
El Cajon, CA
Mary Jo Wagner De Wildt 1946-2025
Sallianne Zamudio 1934-2025
San Diego, CA
Helene Paine 1955-2025
San Diego, CA
Poway, CA
Gunter Zittel 1935-2025
San Diego, CA
Laurel Windrem 1948-2025
Oceanside, CA
Richard Douglas Dworakowski 1935-2025
San Diego, CA
Juris Terauds 1936-2025
Encinitas, CA
Donald Clemens Wyatt 1955-2025
San Diego, CA
Carolyn Peck Farris 1932-2025
La Jolla, CA
Helping children triumph over grief
Children are amazingly perceptive. They sense when adults around them are stressed, sad or keeping a secret. While you may beinclined to shield children from grief, this can actually lead to confusion and anger.
Wherever possible, children should be prepared for the passing of a loved one. In the event of a terminal illness, children should beprepared for the passing just as an adult would be. Death should be approached openly and honestly. Remember that children are accustomed to adults providing solutions and will have difficulty understanding why their loved one can’t be made well again. Explaining the process of death, perhaps with the assistance of suitable books, is a healthier approach than denying the tragedy. Although naturally resilient, it should not be assumed that children will be unaffected by death. They may experience any or all of the following:
Anger
Children, like adults, may feel rage at the deceased person, other relatives or themselves. They may even resent acquaintances who have not had to suffer through the anguish of losing a loved one.
Fear
Whenever a loss occurs, people affected are reminded that they, too, will die. It is no different in children, although it may be their first time realizing the permanence of death. They may fear their own death, or the death of others. If the deceased person was a parent, they may begin to fear that other caregivers will pass away too.
Sadness
Children experience deep sadness and even depression. They may not have experienced this level of pain before, making their feelings unrecognizable to them. Grief also manifests in physical
symptoms such as stomach pain, headaches and fatigue.
Confusion
Children may not understand where the deceased person has gone and why, especially if they are too young to understand the concept of death. They may also have trouble adjusting to life without the person who has passed away, especially if that person was part of their day-to-day.
Guilt
Guilt is a natural part of grief. Children may worry that something they did or said caused the death. They could also regret not spending more time with the deceased before they passed away.
Level of involvement
Older children should be allowed to choose their level of involvement with regards to attending the funeral. They may want to write a poem, say a few words, lay a rose on the coff in, scatter ashes or wear a favorite outfit. This should be allowed wherever possible, even if it is not in keeping with the ideals of the funeral service.
Viewing of the body should be a personal decision and is probably not suited to younger children. It may be best if the loved one is remembered as when they were alive. If it is decided that the
opportunities for peace.
Involve older children in decisions surrounding the death of a close friend or relative. They may want a special keepsake and should not be overlooked when belongings are being given away. Keeping to familiar routine, especially for younger children, can be helpful but care should be taken not to push children into situations until they are ready. Allow older children suff icient time to grieve and avoid returning them to school too soon.
child will view the body, they should be carefully briefed as to what to expect.
Grasping the concept of death
Caregivers should take care to avoid talking about death as if it is “like sleeping” or “going to sleep” because this can make a young child fearful of going to bed at night. They may believe that they will not wake again in the morning. Euphemisms such as this ultimately do more harm than good. It can be stressful for guardians to cope with young children at such a solemn time. If children are attending the funeral, it is important that they are made aware of the process and what is expected of them. It should also be explained that there will be many sad people inattendance. Observing grieving adults can have a profound effect: children may be reluctant to see those people again at a later stage. Itis important to explain that although people are sad now, they won’t always be unhappy.
Letting them grieve, their way
If it is decided that children should not attend the funeral, encourage them to say goodbye in their own way, perhaps by planting aspecial tree in the garden or letting go of a balloon covered with messages and drawings. For a close relationship, creating a special, private place where the child can go to remember the person who died can provide enduring
Encourage the child to talk about their feelings. Older children may find internet support groups helpful but online activity should becarefully monitored at this vulnerable time. If those closest are unable to provide support due to their own grief, the child should becomforted by a close adult friend, perhaps a favorite aunt or uncle. Wherever applicable, the school counselor may be able to provide advice and indeed, the school should be kept informed so that allowances can be made for changes in behavior and grades. Understand that the child who has recently been confronted by death may regress for a short while – perhaps wanting a childhood toy or adopting attention-seeking behavior. Help children release their anger appropriately. One approach could be to encourage hitting cushions. Another could be to have the child write a letter, or draw a picture to describe their anger. This can then be torn up or burnt.
Taking care of physical health
Physical health is often forgotten or given a lower priority. However, ensuring their physical needs are attended to will provide them with a sense of safety and comfort. Ensure they have enough time to rest. Encourage children to eat and drink well. Exercise and playcan be the perfect way to release frustration, anger and anxiety. Above all, ensure that children understand that although this time is difficult to deal with and the loss will always be with them, the grief will pass.
