In Loving Memory
TRIBUTES TO OUR LOVED ONES
How to prepare a eulogy
Giving the eulogy
at a funeral is an honor as well as an intimidating responsibility. Particularly if you are not accustomed to publicspeaking, it can be difficult to know where to begin.
Well, take a breath and relax. With a little forethought, you can prepare and deliver a stirring eulogy. It is important to invest the time necessary to prepare in advance. Do not wait to “wing it” during the funeral. That is a recipe for disaster. You may freeze up, ramble on, and miss out on the opportunity to pay proper tribute to your loved one. If you plan ahead and organize what you intend to say, it will minimize those dangers. When the time comes, you may choose to digress a bit from your prepared statements, but you will at least have a framework to guide you.
Writing the eulogy
To help with your preparation, make sure you carry a notepad, smartphone or tablet with you for note-taking purposes. Whenever you hear a family member or friend make a relevant observation about the deceased, quickly jot it down. This way, you can keep track of quotations, humorous stories, and factual information. Later, when you sit down to organize your thoughts onto paper, you can use your notes as a reservoir of ideas. If you are have difficulty recalling information or getting input from others, don’t be afraid to ask outright. Spark conversations by asking questions such as:
• What is your favorite memory of your time with them?
• If you could sum up their life in one word, what word would that be?
• What kinds of hobbies did they have?
• What nicknames were they known by?
When you have gathered enough information, it is time to put it all
together. While there is no right or wrong way to prepare a eulogy, the following blueprint can help you get started if you are unsure.
To begin, describe your own relationship with the deceased. Explain how you are personally affected by the loss. Remember that many of the people listening to you will understand fully and may share many of the same emotions. Next, work in some personal details pertaining to the deceased, and include three or four anecdotes. Tell stories that included you, or that were shared with you by others. Heartwarming accounts of generosity are powerful when delivered in a eulogy. Stories that demonstrate the person’s character will resonate with the people who miss them. Humorous anecdotes provide much-needed comic relief from the tension of a funeral service. However, be sure to keep the humor respectful and appropriate. If the loved one was a person of faith, you can make note of that, too.
Talk about life lessons you learned from them as well as the qualities that
made your loved one special. Whenever possible, tie these lessons or qualities into your anecdotes. Beware, however, of the danger of turning the eulogy into a story about yourself. Keep the focus on the person you are honoring.
Near the end of the eulogy, consider addressing the deceased directly. For example, you can turn toward the casket and say, “Mom, I love you and I’m going to miss you. You taught me well, I couldn’t have asked for a better mother, and you will always be close to my heart.”
You may choose to end on that note, or you may opt to share a final poem or read a verse from a favorite hymn in closing.
Delivering the eulogy
You should prepare a complete manuscript of what you plan to say. Though the process may be difficult, it will force you to focus an dorganize your thoughts in a coherent fashion. Using this manuscript, you can practice delivering the eulogy a few times to see how it flows and to edit for length. In most cases, a eulogy of five to ten minutes (two to four
typed pages) is appropriate. If you expect that you will stray from the manuscript during delivery, aim for shorter. If you tend to speak faster when nervous, prepare a longer eulogy.
Whether you take the complete manuscript to the podium or condense the eulogy onto cue cards is your decision. If you are nervous about speaking publicly, bring the entire manuscript up to the podium with you. Just having it handy can relieve your anxiety about getting lost during the eulogy. If you are a confident public speaker, condense the eulogy to bullet points on cue cards. This will help you deliver a more natural, conversational tribute to your loved one.
If you invest the time and energy in preparing the eulogy, you can approach your responsibility with confidence. Step up to the podium, take a deep breath to calm your nerves and get your bearings, and tell everyone about this wonderful person you are honoring.
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Elaine Jimenez Alvarado 1967-2025
Santa Ana, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Gene Anawalt 1944-2025
Jonnie Beard 1959-2025
Santa Ana, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Richard Burch 1934-2025
Santa Ana, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Carol Campbell 1934-2025
San Juan Capistrano, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Nancy Beckerbauer 1941-2025 Orange, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Fountain Valley, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Donna Maria Hoyem Babbs 1940-2025
North Tustin, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Patrick Lawrence Birkett 1931-2025
Carolyn Butler 1938-2025 Placentia, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Sr. Joanna Carroll, CSJ 1951-2025 Orange, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Joseph Orval Clark 1934-2025 Orange, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Selma Bartfay 1941-2025
Laguna Niguel, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Gloria Elena Makuc Cadiz 1932-2025
San Clemente, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Beverly Jean Cate 1937-2025 Whittier, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Fountain Valley, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
H. David (Dave) Bright 1934-2025
Newport Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Miguel V. Calderon 1941-2025 Odessa, TX
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Matthew Michael Chapman 1978-2025
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
John T. Bates 1939-2025
Laguna Niguel, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Linda Brown 1945-2025 Costa Mesa, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Huntington Beach, CA
Ian Collins 1944-2025
Huntington Beach, CA
Sharon Contento 1955-2025
Yorba Linda, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Gary Cook 1946-2025
Las Vegas, NV
Elaine Camaras 1939-2025 Corona del Mar, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Michael Joseph Chavez 1958-2025 Westminster, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Leo Cummins 1932-2025
Laguna Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Sally Lee Dausch 1946-2025
Irvine, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
William Henry Dietrich 1935-2025
Mission Viejo, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Elizabeth Fink 1928-2025 Anaheim, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Annette Blair Giermann 1948-2025
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Ellen C. Davisson 1929-2025
San Clemente, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Carolyn Shannon Dingus 1947-2025
Huntington Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Raymond Gene Foscante 1942-2025
Newport Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Sandra Wickens Hayashi 1955-2025
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Robert Hardy (Mr. “D”) Demmon 1945-2025
Lake Forest, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Yorba Linda, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Huntington Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
William E Dent Sr 1933-2025
Dr. Maureen Catherine Downes 1950-2025 Irvine, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Nancy Lee Fricke 1940-2025
Dominic Gillotte 1937-2025 Fullerton, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Jeanette C. Hayes 1924-2024
Orange County, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Carroll Elliott 1934-2025
Anaheim, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Wade Gluyas 1958-2024
Bolinas, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
June Adair Dickson 1924-2025
Santa Barbara, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Peter Alan Gelker 1934-2025
Orange County, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Joann Peterson Healy 1932-2025
San Clemente, CA
Santa Ana, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Newport Beach, CA
Louise Elaine Armstrong Grincelis 1947-2025
Georgetown, TX
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Ralph E. Helper, Jr. 1931-2025 Irvine, CA
Jeff Evans 1945-2025 Orange, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Barbara Ghormley 1942-2025
Seal Beach, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Nadine Laura Hall 1935-2025
Newport Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Sandra Henry 1943-2025 Henderson, NV
How to Support a Friend Who Has Lost a Loved One
It is never easy for someone who has lost a member of the family, even when it comes at the end of a long life or a prolonged illness. The loss is always deeply felt and followed by a period of grief. Considering this, how can you help support a friend who has suffered such a loss? Here are seven simple suggestions.
1. Be there for your friend
Expressing your support by being physically present with your friend is perhaps the single most appreciated action you can take. Because of the sensitive nature of the situation, many friends fail at this most basic task. Be sure to devote some time to spend with your friend in the days and weeks following the loss.
2. Don’t talk; listen
Your friend is likely experiencing a number of thoughts regarding the deceased, and you can be their sounding board. It is appropriatefor you to offer the occasional comment in order to share personal recollections, express sympathy, and provide encouragement, but most of the time you should just listen to what they have to say, and empathize with the feelings they share.
Allow your friend to work through volatile emotions, freely express grief without fear of judgment, and tell you how the deceased had an impact on his or her life.
3. Provide childcare
If your friend has children, volunteer to take care of them for an afternoon or evening. Particularly if your friend has to make funeral arrangements to handle, your offer can allow them to focus on those responsibilities without the hassle of arranging for a babysitter.
4. Drop off a meal
Prepare a home cooked meal and deliver it to your friend. There are enough things demanding their attention—
you can help out. For instance, you can offer your home as a possible location. You could also help with preparations if the reception is to be held at another location. If sandwiches or sweets are desired, you could offer to prepare some. During the reception, you could assist as a host. Afterward, stick around to help clean up.
7. Check in Grief doesn’t simply end after the funeral. In fact, after the funeral is when the journey
through grief truly begins. Check in with your friend regularly after the death. Remember the anniversary of the loss and ask your friend how you can support them on this day. Offer your company, assistance and support through the months and years to come. Allow your friend to relax and show honest emotions. Losing a loved one can be an intensely stressful and exhausting experience. Your friend should not have to put on a brave face or attend to your needs. Give them the
space and freedom they need to process the loss, even if it extends well beyond the date of the funeral.
By being sensitive to your friend’s mental and emotional state—and by taking some responsibilities upon yourself—you can help remove some of the weight from their shoulders. Your support in these ways will go a long way toward helping your friend through this time of loss.
- TRIBUTE TECHNOLOGY
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Loretta May Higgins 1926-2025
Anaheim, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Stanley D. Kaye 1933-2025
Riverside, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
James R. Knapp 1936-2025
Newport Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
David Bruce Kurrle 1945-2025
Mission Viejo, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
James Mahoney 1942-2025
Laguna Niguel, CA
Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In
Dave Hogue 1953-2025
Santa Ana, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Victoria Francis (Metz) Pierce Keany 1934-2025
Anaheim, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Bernadine “Bernie” Faye Myers Koch 1931-2025 Laguna Niguel, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Richard S. Leahy 1959-2025 Oceanside, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Lorraine McBrearty 1945-2025 Maricopa, AZ
In
In
Loving Memory
Loving Memory
Agnes “Colleen” Hohn 1934-2025
Fullerton, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Joyce E. King 1925-2025
Shreveport, LA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Thomas E Kolanoski 1937-2025 Orange County, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Daniel Paul Whitney Lispi 1948-2025
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Terry Itnyre 1934-2024
La Mirada, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
John Kevin King 1956-2025 La Habra Heights, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Huntington Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Beth Eleanor (Young) Itnyre 1932-2025 La Mirada, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Nancy J. Kooiman 1946-2025 Seal Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Shirley Shiow-Lan Liu 1940-2025
Ronald “Dean” McDaniel 1942-2025 Lake Forest, CA
James Kleerup 1936-2025 Highlands Ranch, CO
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Huntington Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Judy McFadden 1932-2025
Fullerton, CA
Dennis Michael Kroko 1946-2025 Tustin, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
John Magliari 1932-2025
Costa Mesa, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Ingrid McGuire 1931-2025
Laguna Niguel, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Leticia “Letty” Herrera Medici 1939-2025
Corona, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Pamela Good Molfetta 1944-2025
Newport Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Jane Murray 1963-2025
Fountain Valley, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Jerlyn “Jeri” O’Brien 1947-2025
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Suzanne S. Mellor 1934-2025
Laguna Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Peter Montana, Jr 1931-2025
Cypress, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Thomas Lewellen Nash 1936-2025
Huntington Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Alice Petesch 1933-2025
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Mel Menefee 1935-2025
San Juan Capistrano, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Laguna Woods, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Garden Grove, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Barbara Murphy Mieger 1936-2025
Anthony Joseph Monteleone 1948-2025 Huntington Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Daniel “Dan” Addison Newton 1958-2025 Locust, NC
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Rose Marie Opyrchal 1938-2025 Anaheim, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
John Pitchess 1942-2025
Fullerton, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
David Michael Morehead 1943-2025 Tustin, CA
Benhart Earl Niemi 1938-2025
Newport Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Joseph (Joe) Milazzo 1934-2025 Anaheim, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Catherine Anne McKee Muncey 1942-2025 Huntington Beach, CA
Robert (Bob) Osborne 1929-2025 Irvine, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Esther “Jean” Platt (nee Sprankle) 1934-2022 Orange, CA
Newport Beach, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Janet Calvert Patterson 1939-2025
San Juan Capistrano, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Elaine Pratt 1945-2025
Laguna Niguel, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
David Nygren 1982-2025
San Juan Capistrano, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Rose Elaine Paul 1941-2025
Newport Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Joan Helen Rasinski 1931-2025
Corona Del Mar, CA
Helping children triumph over grief
Children are amazingly perceptive. They sense when adults around them are stressed, sad or keeping a secret. While you may beinclined to shield children from grief, this can actually lead to confusion and anger.
Wherever possible, children should be prepared for the passing of a loved one. In the event of a terminal illness, children should beprepared for the passing just as an adult would be. Death should be approached openly and honestly. Remember that children are accustomed to adults providing solutions and will have difficulty understanding why their loved one can’t be made well again. Explaining the process of death, perhaps with the assistance of suitable books, is a healthier approach than denying the tragedy. Although naturally resilient, it should not be assumed that children will be unaffected by death. They may experience any or all of the following:
Anger
Children, like adults, may feel rage at the deceased person, other relatives or themselves. They may even resent acquaintances who have not had to suffer through the anguish of losing a loved one.
Fear
Whenever a loss occurs, people affected are reminded that they, too, will die. It is no different in children, although it may be their first time realizing the permanence of death. They may fear their own death, or the death of others. If the deceased person was a parent, they may begin to fear that other caregivers will pass away too.
Sadness
Children experience deep sadness and even depression. They may not have experienced this level of pain before, making their feelings unrecognizable to them. Grief also manifests in physical
symptoms such as stomach pain, headaches and fatigue.
Confusion
Children may not understand where the deceased person has gone and why, especially if they are too young to understand the concept of death. They may also have trouble adjusting to life without the person who has passed away, especially if that person was part of their day-to-day.
Guilt
Guilt is a natural part of grief. Children may worry that something they did or said caused the death. They could also regret not spending more time with the deceased before they passed away.
Level of involvement
Older children should be allowed to choose their level of involvement with regards to attending the funeral. They may want to write a poem, say a few words, lay a rose on the coff in, scatter ashes or wear a favorite outfit. This should be allowed wherever possible, even if it is not in keeping with the ideals of the funeral service.
Viewing of the body should be a personal decision and is probably not suited to younger children. It may be best if the loved one is remembered as when they were alive. If it is decided that the
opportunities for peace.
Involve older children in decisions surrounding the death of a close friend or relative. They may want a special keepsake and should not be overlooked when belongings are being given away. Keeping to familiar routine, especially for younger children, can be helpful but care should be taken not to push children into situations until they are ready. Allow older children suff icient time to grieve and avoid returning them to school too soon.
child will view the body, they should be carefully briefed as to what to expect.
Grasping the concept of death
Caregivers should take care to avoid talking about death as if it is “like sleeping” or “going to sleep” because this can make a young child fearful of going to bed at night. They may believe that they will not wake again in the morning. Euphemisms such as this ultimately do more harm than good. It can be stressful for guardians to cope with young children at such a solemn time. If children are attending the funeral, it is important that they are made aware of the process and what is expected of them. It should also be explained that there will be many sad people inattendance. Observing grieving adults can have a profound effect: children may be reluctant to see those people again at a later stage. Itis important to explain that although people are sad now, they won’t always be unhappy.
Letting
them grieve, their way
If it is decided that children should not attend the funeral, encourage them to say goodbye in their own way, perhaps by planting aspecial tree in the garden or letting go of a balloon covered with messages and drawings. For a close relationship, creating a special, private place where the child can go to remember the person who died can provide enduring
Encourage the child to talk about their feelings. Older children may find internet support groups helpful but online activity should becarefully monitored at this vulnerable time. If those closest are unable to provide support due to their own grief, the child should becomforted by a close adult friend, perhaps a favorite aunt or uncle. Wherever applicable, the school counselor may be able to provide advice and indeed, the school should be kept informed so that allowances can be made for changes in behavior and grades. Understand that the child who has recently been confronted by death may regress for a short while – perhaps wanting a childhood toy or adopting attention-seeking behavior. Help children release their anger appropriately. One approach could be to encourage hitting cushions. Another could be to have the child write a letter, or draw a picture to describe their anger. This can then be torn up or burnt.
Taking care of physical health
Physical health is often forgotten or given a lower priority. However, ensuring their physical needs are attended to will provide them with a sense of safety and comfort. Ensure they have enough time to rest. Encourage children to eat and drink well. Exercise and playcan be the perfect way to release frustration, anger and anxiety. Above all, ensure that children understand that although this time is difficult to deal with and the loss will always be with them, the grief will pass.
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Cheryl Benshoof Reno 1941-2025
Anaheim, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Michael Joseph Ryan 1944-2025
Newport Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Joan Richardson 1939-2025 CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Xavier “Harvey” Salinas 1950-2025
Anmarie Schultz 1952-2025
Santa Ana, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Marjorie “Margie” L. Smith 1944-2025 Anaheim, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Frank Toshio Tanji 1951-2025 Westminster, CA
Newport Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Aurelia Sikora 1920-2025 Anaheim, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Victoria Southard 1954-2025 Huntington Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Arthur William Tate 1940-2025
Lake Havasu City, AZ
Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In
Beverly Richesson 1933-2025
Huntington Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Cecil Paul Schremp 1941-2025
Westminster, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Bob (Robert) Simon 1942-2025 Anaheim, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Sharon Louise Stagg 1947-2025
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Colleen (Murphy) Rivers 1949-2025 Orange, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
William F. “Bill” Schuler 1928-2025 Pittsburgh, PA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Melinda Simon 1947-2025
Brea, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Lillian Ann Tester 1938-2025
Louanna Reithner Robeson 1926-2025
Laguna Niguel, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Dana Point, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Donald Stagner 1941-2025
Trabuco Canyon, CA
Fullerton, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Gary E. Teter 1934-2025 Tustin, CA
Terry Stephen Schultz 1946-2025 Orange County, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Dana Alan Smith 1948-2025 San Clemente, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Fred (Buck) Taite 1944-2025 Huntington Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Nancy Thompson 1923-2025 Costa Mesa, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Donald C. Thompson 1935-2025
Long Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Sandra Wellman 1944-2025
Lake Forest, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Pauline Valles 1931-2025
Westminster, CA
Sr. Madeleva Williams, CSJ 1931-2025 Orange, CA
In Loving Memory
Johnny Zeezee Zuniga 1951-2025
Santa Ana, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Tom A. Walker 1952-2025
Huntington Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
June Teru Watanabe 1924-2025 Anaheim, CA
Carol A. Weinmann 1942-2025 Brea, CA
Ellen Murdoch Wheeler 1930-2025
Portage, IN In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
James J. Yeh 1927-2025
Newport Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Robert Zwicky 1960-2025 Orange, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Nancy C. Whelan 1933-2025
Newport Beach, CA
Sally J. Zajac 1959-2025
Ruth Elizabeth White 1929-2025
San Clemente, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Toni Ann Wickstrom 1945-2025
Corona Del Mar, CA
Huntington Beach, CA
Anthony Duarte 1980-2025
Judith “Judy” Faye Graves 1937-2025
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
La Puente, CA In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Whittier, CA In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Virginia Zeigler 1931-2025 North Tustin, CA
Harriet Zierer 1936-2025
Santa Ana, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Marsha Ann Jackson 1938-2025
Nicholas Whittemore 1984-2025
Huntington Beach, CA
May the constant love of caring friends soften your sadness. May cherished memories bring you moments of comfort. May lasting peace surround your grieving heart.
Riverside, CA In Loving Memory
Steps to take when filing a will
As with being born and having to pay taxes, we all face the prospect of our own death. If you plan on living to a ripe old age, it’s important to make things easier on those you leave behind by preparing a proper last will and testament.
Benefits of creating a last will and testament
When you file a will, your final wishes are laid out in black and white, leaving no ambiguity about how you want your assets divided. By creating a will that is watertight, you can make your death less stressful for your survivors. You should also have peace of mind knowing your survivors will be taken care of when you are gone. Although it’s unsettling to think of your own death and the world without you in it, consider how you’d like your assets to be distributed once you are gone. Typically people contemplate how they’d like to leave their children, spouse, favorite charities and other loved onesin the event of their death.
When is a good time to start planning your final wishes?
Consider preparing a last will and testament once you’ve acquired assets or dependents. If you work full time, have a spouse orchildren, own a home, or have savings, it’s the right time to start planning.
Preparing the will
Don’t know how to get started? Follow these steps to begin planning your final wishes.
1. Account for all of your assets and debts
Create a comprehensive list of everything you own or are entitled to. This includes, but is not limited to:
• Real estate holdings
• Life insurance policies
• Vehicles
• Cars
• Boats
• Recreational vehicles
• Financial investments
• Owned businesses
• 401(k)
• RRSPs
• Home equity
• Stocks
• Bonds
• Pensions
• Other retirement savings and portfolios
• Debts and liabilities
2. Assign a trustee
A trustee, or executor, is the person who you assign to carry out the instructions held in your last will and testament. Their duties can include the distribution of assets, funeral planning, death announcement, services, cremation or care of your final remains, and distribution of your assets as set out in your will.
want your body to be cremated and your ashes scattered over your favorite lake, ski hill, ocean vista or other special place. Your wishes are yours alone, andcan be as personal as you like. Whatever they may be, ensure your requests are clearly identified in your will.
5. Make it legal
Ensure that the person you select to administer your estate is okay with being appointed as such before assigning them. The job of anexecutor or trustee is complex and stressful, usually taking months or years to conclude. Make sure they are up to the task.
3. List all beneficiaries
Construct a list of relatives, friends and charities that you would like to remember in your will. This can include your spouse, children, siblings, parents and in-laws, charities you support, and any other people or organizations that you want to leave some of your accumulated wealth to. Write down the exact assets or percentage of the total estate that each person or organization will receive.
4. Final wishes for your bodily remains
Perhaps you want to be interred in a tomb, with a simple grave, or extravagant headstone. Or maybe you
Contact a lawyer that specializes in estate law. They know the current rules and regulations regarding wills, how they may affect your wishes, and the best ways to take care of those left behind. It’s better to be safe than sorry. There is no substitute for a legal will. Writing a letter or informal statement about how you’d like your assets divided might be a nice gesture to your survivors, but does not take the place of a will. Don’t risk your financial legacy being mismanaged. Don’t jeopardize the understanding of your final wishes. You can purchase a kit to create a will yourself. This will be less expensive than using a lawyer, but may not be as binding and watertightas you might like. If your will has complex instructions, it’s best to consult a lawyer.
Maintaining your wishes
Divorces, new marriages, new children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, favorite charities or new circumstances may raise the need to change your will, to either include new entries to your will, or have some taken out of it. After having your last will and testament written up, signed and witnessed, you will have to make changes to it as your life unfolds.
Make it a habit to revisit your final wishes when life changes occur, or every few years. That way, you can rest assured loved ones will be taken care of when you are gone. -
