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Pl'ec' (S.U.P.P. Apr. 6) A rush shipment of ~l lous Csdalk vaccine is enroute from Flim th~lll, Canada, via covered wagon, to alleviate outbreak of dreaded midtermiolytis at MSMo ~e~ There were scattered cases of the diseas the :t'tedtwo weeks ago, and since that time, pl'o~um?er of cases has reached epidemiC infan~hons. In all disaster areas, the ~o S are the first attended and MSM shows . 8CheXcept路 ci a.on t 0 t'h.is , The freshman class lS SO}l~uled f?r the first shot.s followed by the s., junlors, and seniors in that order. sCho 1T~e ~eriousness of the si t.uation at the as t~ lS. Lnd i cat.ed by this priority shipment, 8el'UIn e:-e lS. only four-fifths liter of the d.u.e t In exi.st ance , The critical shortage is enou.~ the method of manufacture and lack of g well staffed, isolated, laboratories. h~ To~sils from healthy, ruby-throated, cleanngblrds are scalloped and placed in a trOIn glass flask. The virus is introduced thus a :rusty fingernail file and the culture ?e~sP:t'oduced is allowed to develop for eight ~e th' At the end of this period, the culture ~th :t'ownout and the glass flask is fused Q):l i a suit.able flux and the whole mess taken Ul1if~H20 made slightly alky with Old Smuggler. SOlu.t ~ed attendants then bottle the resultin~ lon and it is packed for shipment. tactu Joy Manufacturing Co. , exclusive manuCe<ia]_~e:t' Of. the needle used in administering. latest V"acClne, has rushed a shipment of t.hei r )~elO}l :rotary hypodermics with the newly de~choo~cicorkscrew needle to Dr. J. Palsy Quack, phYSician. tOl<i~. Quack, overflowing with confidence, ~e:i..\ri LIFIER reporters that tho t we are retrJ1" ang only a fifth of the vaccine, he will new dilution process whereby the volume I
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is increased while the strength remains relatively the same. The Dr ..said, "We are using the Horgan-Murphy modification of Csdalks vaccine--one part vaccine to one part seven-up in a H20 - ice medium. The A楼.tP1IFIER staff and typing office offer best wishes for quick recovery to those stricken and our sympathy to those who are beyond halpo
SM I1H - ACT IN
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(A.N.Ao Apr. 6) Agents of the FoBoIo closed a well prepared trap early Monday morning on a vicious violator of the Smith Acto 10 Owsy Dunce was apprehended at his residence atop Pipestone Pass as he prepared to attend his early (11:00) class at the Montana School of Mines Mr. Dunce is charged specifically with being unable to interpret ~ 4. Under the provisions of the Smith Act, passed in 1955, Dunce could be sentenced to a minimum of two years as a sophomor-e, Maximum penalty is life sentence to hard laboro The Smith Act was passed to prevent engineering students from entering industry with a complete lack of the ability to apply simple calculus to the omni present mathematical 'problems that arise in the field. Acts that are punishable under the Smith Act are: (1) slowness with trigonmetric manipulations (2) inability to recognize simple identities' (3) difficulty with simple derivatives and' (4) adding two and two and getting fiv~o Bail was set for Dunce at one thousand beer chitso Mro Will Shyster, lawyer for the accused immediately appealed the bail that Dunce would surely die of thirst before his trial came up. 0