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In a direct micro-wave 1."'s· llto lon to the H.S .M. news offices come DIS e_lectrifying announcement o-f the year /' • .N. P. layleroad, presidential medical D r, t;; ~aYleroad said, "In view of the pr-es.i+ f oronary attack a few months ago and ect f' that the budget does provide automopresidential transportation, Ike will o ely not run in '56 - he will walk on ccasicns that demand reverting to the tl1 lkltode of transportation - leg power." th e's own words, "I even intend to walk at~ tee to the green when there are all What lon~ of a hole-in-one." f the :reper~ussions will result in the state '<' c:ti;enc:tio :' n as a whole are purely specu~eric~t press. However, Florsheim and i..ngt Boo~docker stock showed a sharp rise ~gthe he SlX hour period irrunediately follow-
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9 ) Veterans of the recent police 'cent In Korea were noticeably ~~ upset by a It and~ouncement of Dr. Sedwin Coke that a I the V'lgorous police action is needed north ~f \11h:i.l!econd floor parallel in the Met. Bldg. ~ reCallthe veterans shuddered at the thought ~~:COke to the horrors and hardships of war, la~~ZedaSSured the American Legion and other ~~lleeded~eterans organizations that all that lllen 18 a small willj_ng body of intelli,~~'ll),:se:r 'Whoare familiar with desk rag and ~;)Jera.(.)~erations. The educator said, "with '-ts Of l:lng support we can clean up the renemy infant-ry in short order."
(S.V.H.F. Har. 9) The dashing Valent:ine-type heir to the Horrocan throne (a Norrocan throne is not a foreign toilet) recently visited 'the American continent and has nothing but praise for the nation. During his stay, Prince Oak Land-Bey looked over and tried out various makes and models of the many diverse American productsQ Taking f'ancy to G.N. v s pride and joy, he ordered a gross of new Cadillacs to solve his transportation problems for 1956. At Hickenbothens and Tweedles on 5th Ave., he was delighted by their tailored, fur-lined sportswear. In all proba·bility, the JvIorroccan team competing at the '60 Olympics "'rill wear' Hickenbothen and Tweedle. The high point of the Prince's visit was marked by the announcement of his forthcoming marriage to that vivaceous movie star, Clumsy Kelly. Said the Prince of Clumsy - "She is stumbling thru~ __ my dr-eams every rd ght ,"
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(U.M.A.Y.P.) Brig. Gen. Humphrey Hotblast has assured the Secreta, 1 of Defense and his cabinet that America is, and will stay, ahead of the Soviet union in Guided Missile fields. In a press release Gen. Hotblast said - "As long as Detroit ca~ supply the cars, America has an overabundant supply of women to drive them. Nothing short of a phenomenal period of all male offspring will curtail our Guided ussile program."