Monday, October 26, 2015
howeenterprise.com
Page #13
A day at the movies born under a bad sign.” I just can’t help myself.
By Chris Campbell My name is Chris…and I have an addiction. Hi Chris! No, it’s not an addiction that has a 12-step program. But it’s ruining my life. It’s creating awkwardness in social settings. My family is afraid to speak to me or even be seen with me in public because of its unpredictability. You see, I’m addicted to…movie lines. When people were posting Facebook pictures of the latest full moon, I just couldn’t help myself – I had to reply: “That’s no moon…it’s a space station!” I can’t see a rabbit or a horse without going into any number of monologues from “Monty Python And The Holy Grail.” I walk into my kids’ schools, see the library, and I instantly become a character (or two…or three) from “The Photo by Loretta Breakfast Club.” IAnderson show up at work without my badge and I yell at the receptionist, “Badges? I don’t need no stinkin’ badges!!!” When I walk into the Wal-Mart parking lot and can’t find my car, I begin with, “Dong, where is grandfather’s automobile?” And please don’t ever let me meet someone named ‘Ferris’ or ‘Cameron’! “When Cameron was in Egypt’s land…let my…Cameron…go” will burst forth from my lips before I can think twice. “How can I possibly be expected to go to school on a day like this.” “I asked for a car – I got
Fortunately it has never endangered my physical wellbeing…until this past Monday evening while standing in line at a Walgreen’s outside of St. Louis. The gentleman in front of me was buying a handful of items and chose to pay with a credit card. He handed the young lady behind the counter his drivers’ license for identification. She confirmed the gentleman’s identity, handed it back to him and said, “Thank you, Mr. Gump.” Instantly I began to sweat. My pulse quickened and my hand shook with a horrible tremor. I bit my lip as hard as I could in an effort to suppress the demon welling up inside me. The water and shaving cream I was holding fell from my hands as I could contain myself no longer. I smiled wryly as Walgreen’s became my stage. “GUMP!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. “What’s your sole purpose in this army!” I expected the gentleman to play along like a nice “Forrest Gump” fan and reply, “To do whatever you tell me to, Drill Sergeant.” Instead…there was silence. He turned slowly and looked at me. The cashier eyed me, her mascara running in fear. Behind me customers gripped their purchases tightly. Off in the distance you could hear someone whistle “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.” “I don’t like folks making fun of my name,” he sneered. And out the door he went. I picked up my water and shaving cream and placed them on the counter. “You’re not from around here, are you” came the cashier’s reply. Yeah…it’s time for an
Pet Grooming Sessions. (2) Donated by A-1 Pet Grooming and Boarding. Framed Photographs In and About Howe (2). Donated by Mark Hansen Photography. Wire Grapevine Wine Rack with Five Bottles of Wine. Donated Brett Jones and Gayle Strange. Green Pottery with Mother-of-Pearl Candlestand with Candle. Donated by Howe Mercantile. Vintage Glass Serving Bowl. Donated by Mr. and Mrs. Bill French. Quart of Junk Gypsy Chalk Paint and Furniture Painting Class. Donated by Salvage Junky. Tea and Bulldogs T-shirt, plus Retro Bulldog Country T-shirt. Donated by Salvage Junky. Basket of North Texas Fair & Rodeo Goodies. Donated by North Texas Fair & Rodeo, Denton. IN KIND DONORS Walmart, 20 briskets; Bill Smith, Howe Mini Storage, $300; Metal Masters, $1,000; Great Days of Service, labor and supplies; Keep Howe Beautiful, labor and supplies; The Siding Man, Inc., $2,800; AAA Guardian Foundation Repair, $2,500; Boyd Dunn, services, construction supervisor for Church Restoration; City of Howe, services; Monte Walker, posters and flyers; Howe High School, banner design and creation; GCEC, ladder trucks; Boy Scouts, painting of Mame Roberts gazebo, volunteer services; Matt, Mayo, electrical services; Howe Middle School Student Council, volunteer services; David Wortham, services; Brice Harvey, bbq cook; Dick Smithwick, bbq cook; Janie Finney, banners and signs; Don Anderson, auctioneer; Howe Enterprise, advertising; Van Alstyne Leader, advertising; Herald Democrat, advertising; Donna Wormsbaker, beans for BBQ dinner; Bev Martin, bread for BBQ dinner; Mary Jo Wrenn, bread for BBQ dinner; Georgia Caraway, tea for BBQ dinner; Jean Norman, coleslaw for BBQ dinner; Mama Suzy’s Sweets and Eats, 8 doz. sugar cookies for dinner; Mary Stonebarger, 8 doz. chocolate chip cookies for dinner; Sheri Folkes, potato salad for BBQ dinner; Sunny Delight, 200 drinks; Dr Pepper, 5 cases Dr Pepper; Grayson County Blood Bank, radio ads; Howe Fire Department, use of building for BBQ dinner; Loretta Anderson, Texas Farm Bureau, 125 iced tea glasses; Darren Foster, Texas Farm Bureau, 125 iced tea glasses; Ronnie Morris, painting benches; Sonic, ice; Linda Wall, barbeque sauce; Diamonds Grocery, onions, pickles, jalapenos, relish. FINANCIAL DONORS: Collins Memorial, $24,350 Howe Historical Society, $14,500 Not In Grayson County, $10,505 Georgia Caraway, $2,880 Oscar Blankemeyer, $1,420 Nortex Field Services, $1,000 Jerry and Patsy Kelsoe, $600 Garage Sales, $357.50 Advantage Business Machines, $200 Anonymous, $200 Scott Frantz, $200 TLD Design Consulting, $200 Norman Farms, $125, Bounce House Janie Finney, $100, banners Waldo Funeral Home, $100 Scoggins Funeral Home, $100 M.E. Curtis, $100 Monty Ulmer, $100 Anonymous, $50 City Drug of Van Alstyne, $50 Carolyn Monroe, $40 Children and citizens of Howe, $75 Ray Selby, $20
