9781529912401 by Smakprov Media AB

Your Money Life

How to Aﬀord the Future You Want

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First published in the UK by #Merky Books 2024

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This book is dedicated to my mother, Susan Solanke.

Thank you for everything you’ve taught me and continue to teach me about the power of being a woman.

Because of your teaching, I and every woman reading this are now that much richer.

Your Money Life

Introduction

In our early twenties, my friend Suzie and I decided to get serious about our money. We always felt that the lives we were going to live would be far greater than our current reality. Think shopping on New Bond Street, having multiple investment vehicles, and holidaying with our families across the world. This was, and still is, the life we felt destined for. We were hard-working and we believed that hard work should pay oﬀ in a way that meant we could enjoy the finer things in life, but we also knew that it would take a little more than the money we had in our bank accounts to get us to our destiny. ‘We need to get our money up’ was the mantra we constantly repeated, and we needed to do it quickly. University parties were nice, but we were ready to enjoy holidays abroad on yachts. So, notebooks at the ready, we prepared to swot up on all things money and finance, from budgeting to bonds and beyond. We were determined to make the lives we manifested become a reality.

Fortunately for me, I was not a complete novice in the world of finance. At the time Suzie and I were making

vision boards for the life of luxury we were going to experience, I was a 20-year-old Maths and Finance student at the University of Essex. My reason for studying the subject came from my desire to use numbers to provide a clarity that words didn’t. (There is a lot of irony in the fact that I am now writing a book about numbers, but c’est la vie! ) My love of numbers came before my love of finance. Numbers are absolute; there can only be a right or wrong answer, no lines are blurred. It was only as I began to get older that I realised how important money was, not just to me, but to the whole world.

My knowledge of money and finance didn’t merely sprout from textbooks and lectures – it started at home. As the youngest of six siblings, I absorbed a decent amount of financial knowledge by osmosis, and it was through my siblings that the foundations of my interest were forged. Being the youngest in the family came with its unique blend of challenges and advantages. Our house was always bustling with noise, laughter and occasional squabbles. There were shared bedrooms, hand-me-downs, and constant reminders to be mindful of not spending all of our pocket money at the sweet shop or Trocadero in central London. Every day I watched my brothers and sisters manage their personal allowances, save for their dreams, and even make blunders with their money.

My eldest brother, Dapo, was the prudent saver, stashing away his money for a rainy day, and a sunny one too. He started investing his money early on. Aretha, on the other hand, liked designer things and making enough money to aﬀord them all. Eddie was the status spender; nice cars and exclusive trainers were his thing. My other two sisters, Yemi and Oprah, trod the middle ground, blending caution with the occasional splurge on a good experience such as a holiday abroad. From each, I learned something valuable, absorbing their financial wisdom, mistakes and strategies. The main lesson I learned from all of them was one I want to share with you here: to an extent, you can buy what you like as long as you are willing to work for it. At the same time, I’d like to acknowledge that I understand we don’t all have the same access to funds and resources as each other, and I don’t want to seem ignorant of that, but this was my personal lesson. Furthermore, if there is something you truly want, it may take a while for you to achieve your goal, so patience needs to be a virtue you’re comfortable with. Some things are worth the wait.

In many homes, women are seen as the nurturer of the children and men are seen as the provider. I was very blessed to see my mum play both roles. She was the first person to teach me the power of multiple streams of

income. Another lesson from her was that there will always be work to do and bills to pay, but if you don’t get oﬀ the treadmill to enjoy life, you’re going to burn out. Somehow, she managed to have six children and still go on a cruise from time to time. To me, my mum always represented what a bold woman looked like.

So my family background meant that I was always financially aware, which was partly how I ended up studying Maths and Finance, and also how I ended up in a money support group with Suzie. The great thing about my studies was that I had access to real knowledge about how money worked, so I led the way in talking to Suzie about how we could make our money grow. I was learning about bonds at the time – sure it sounded like an archaic concept, but it also seemed like a risk-averse way to see our money grow over the course of a few years. When I started to speak about bonds with Suzie, a look of utter confusion crossed her face. She was perplexed and didn’t ask more. I brushed it aside, not wanting to embarrass or confuse her, and swiftly moved on to another topic (and, if you share her confusion, don’t worry! I will talk more about bonds later in the book).

Looking back, her reaction was connected to a much larger issue. I had met that same cloud of confusion whenever I spoke to my friends about money and

finance. Even now, in the countless meet-ups and workshops I have with women who are incredibly talented in their respective fields, a glazed-over look often comes over their faces when the topic of money and finance comes up. Suzie’s response validated a theory that I had developed: talking about money makes many women uncomfortable to the point of silence. Instead of leaning into the learning and asking for more information, they shut down and shy away from the topic.

Let’s be real. Money, with its seemingly impenetrable strategies of how to make more of it, and finance, with its intimidating terms and conditions, still remains uncharted territory for many women today. It can be a challenge to get your head around it, but it’s even harder to make your money work for you when your own silence prevents your growth.

As women, it is not in our interests to be ‘discreet’ about money. We are at a historical disadvantage when it comes to financial agency and literacy. Just over 100 years ago, we entered the workforce en masse. Yet as late as the 1970s, women were routinely refused mortgages unless they could oﬀer a male guarantor. And figures from April 2022 show that hourly pay for full-time employees was still 8.3% less for women than for men. More studies show that we consistently spend more, even though

we earn less; despite the gender pay gap, research from 2019 in the US revealed that women account for 81% of all consumer purchases. Quite simply, we are still playing catch-up. Money is largely the preserve of men, and it is holding us back in lots of ways.

Over the years I have listened to the stories of many women who were at the economic mercy of men. This was something I noticed as a child, listening to my mum’s conversations without her permission. It’s something I also noticed growing up going to the hair salon and listening to older women’s problems. While I think love is great, to me it should be a partnership, and everyone should be self-suﬃcient. Historically, I’ve had women say, ‘I can’t aﬀord to leave him’ or ‘He left me with nothing’. Those words, or something of that sentiment, made me want to be part of the solution.

The power that we have is so much greater than we give ourselves credit for. Even though women are at a disadvantage, if we grow our knowledge, we can build our confidence and wealth. From my early experiences at home to my professional sessions, I know the power of group conversations as well as individual ones, and how important it is that we share our money worries, as well as our money wins. As my conversations with Suzie continued, more moments of uncertainty popped up, but we worked

through them and worked out how to manage our money. And for anyone wondering, Suzie is ﬂourishing in life! She works abroad now and is doing her dream job. Unlike me she’s chosen a more discreet life, but I know she’s very happy, and she’s still my friend to this day. Neither of us owns a yacht yet, but we’re working on it.

About this book

Every time I stumbled with my finances, I took it as an opportunity to learn, adapt and evolve. These three elements are key to my approach when it comes to financial literacy and underpin the three areas of this book. When we learn more, our finances become healthier ; when we adapt our current habits, we can become wealthier ; and when we evolve as people with more knowledge about their money, we can be happier.

Healthier

Having a healthy approach to money starts with going back to basics. Just like September can bring that new school year feeling, that’s exactly what this section is here to help you with. If you’re not sure where to start, or if you’re struggling to get to grips with your finances, then this is the place for you. If you feel well-versed,

then this section should just serve as a reminder of what you know – no one is above relearning something to sharpen their knowledge. For readers who are familiar with my first book, How To Save It, this builds on that foundational knowledge of money and developing a healthier mindset when it comes to finances. I’ll guide you through setting up a personal budget that reﬂects your individual needs. You’ll also get to explore the various types of savings accounts and gain insights into the importance of saving. Understanding credit, debit and eﬀective ways to manage debt will also be part of our discussion. Get ready to confront what you do with your income and outgoings.

Wealthier

Wealthier is the go-to guide for women ready to take their finances to the next level. A fair critique that I have often received is that I don’t go ‘deeper’ in terms of my financial knowledge. Well, here it is. If you’re moving past the thrill of the latest fashion finds and eyeing a future with solid investments, robust pensions and smart life insurance choices, you’re in the right place. Within these pages, you’ll navigate the financial implications of marriage and divorce, understand what

self-employment can look like on a monetary scale, and gain knowledge on inheritance tax. The insights here are not just for one stage of your life; they’re life-long financial companions.

Happier

You shouldn’t be afraid of spending on the things that matter to you. This final section is about the happiness that money can buy and enjoying the funds you’ve worked hard for (or inherited). In it, I will cover topics such as saving for big life events, buying a home, ethical investments and starting a family.

The topics spoken about in this book are relevant to different stages of life, but not restricted to specific ages. Our money journey is never linear. It takes a while for us to understand the consequences of what we’ve lived through, as well as the things we want from our future. Will we go to university, get married or have children? Establish ourselves in the working world or set up our own business? Some of us may decide to purchase a home and begin to climb the property ladder; others will want to go back to their roots and travel the world. Money plays a role in all these decisions. If you find this

book as useful at 38 as you did at 18, then I’ve done my job. I hope that all women will find something helpful here, be it tips on how to discuss money in relationships or save towards short-, mid- and long-term goals. I want this book to be a one-stop-shop that helps you to navigate your money life.

PART ONE Healthier

CHAPTER 1 Spend Less, Save More

When it comes to saving money, women face a set of challenges that can make their financial journey a bit more complex. One major hurdle is the persistent gender pay gap, where women, on average, earn less than men for similar work. This disparity not only aﬀects their day-to-day spending but also significantly impacts their ability to save. Moreover, societal norms and a confidence gap in financial matters can lead women to be more cautious in their investment choices, potentially slowing the growth of their savings. Then there are career breaks, predominantly taken by women for caregiving responsibilities, which can disrupt their income stream and long-term savings potential. For women who decide to have children, the high cost of childcare, which often disproportionately aﬀects women’s finances, limits the amount they can set aside. Women’s part-time roles, again usually due to caregiving, also result in lower incomes and fewer benefits like retirement plans. Add to this the longevity factor – women generally live longer, meaning they need a bigger retirement nest egg, yet they’re saving with fewer resources – and these challenges underscore the need for a greater focus on financial equality and empowerment for women. The following advice on how to spend less and save more should be read with this in mind.

Start saving

In Sex and the City season four, Carrie’s on-oﬀ love interest Aidan moves in with her before buying her rented apartment – and the apartment next door – in order to renovate and give her more space. Romantic? Sure. Except for the fact that they break up an episode later, forcing Carrie to stump up cash she doesn’t have to buy back her apartment. ‘I know I made some money,’ Carrie complains to her friend Miranda. ‘Where did it all go?’ Miranda in turn asks how many pairs of shoes Carrie owns – roughly 100, it turns out. At £400 a pop, Miranda says, that’s where Carrie’s down payment is.

Before I started practising delayed gratification, every pay cheque I received went straight on retail therapy. I was paying retailers first and paying myself last. But, at some point, I realised that I needed to stop thinking about a new piece of clothing and start paying my future self instead. After a few years I wanted to buy my first property, at which point going out to dinner or going on holiday were out of the question. Everything had to be a special occasion in order for me to leave my house. Wherever possible I worked from home, and I even made sure I’d eaten everything in my cupboard before I went shopping again. This took me to a new depth of

frugality that I’ve come to appreciate now, because I feel like I can survive irrespective of my bank balance. The hardest delay, in all honesty, was choosing to wait to buy a new car until after I bought my property. I watched my siblings buy BMW s, Mercedes Benzes and Range Rovers, and I constantly asked myself, ‘When is it going to be my turn to get the car I really like?’ Delaying gratification is only fun for so long before you just want to move on to the next stage of your life, and by this point I felt like I had been holding my financial breath forever. It’s only in hindsight that I’m grateful for the stamina I had at that time, because it taught me that life and your finances require delays, and how you react in waiting is more important than how you handle the next ‘big thing’ you’re anticipating.

According to the Bank of England, 30% of adults have either no savings or less than £1,000 in a savings account. But saving what you can month to month or day to day ensures that you have a financial buﬀer should something unexpected happen, as well as providing you with a sense of calm and reassurance. Plus, savings allow you to start dreaming bigger about what you want from your life. Savings and investments (which we will come onto later) are the key to opening up new possibilities, whether it’s buying a house and a car as I did, starting

a family, or going on life-changing holidays. I can also tell you that it brings a great sense of pride to be in control of your money and to be able to aﬀord the things you want.

So, how can you start getting to grips with your spending so that you can put money into your savings account each month and buy the life you want?

What do you need and what do you want?

I always say that it’s not about how much you make, it’s about how much you keep. So, before we get into the specifics of methods of saving, it’s important to think about your mindset when it comes to saving and spending, and whether you need to change it up. Firstly, when evaluating your finances, it’s important to ask yourself, is it a money need, or a money want? Understanding the diﬀerence between needs and wants will enable you to question your purchases and add a little bit of accountability to them. Put simply, your needs are things that are necessary for your day-to-day, such as buying food and clothing and ensuring you can pay your rent or mortgage and utilities. Wants are things we would like to have but could live without, such as gym memberships,

online streaming subscriptions and takeaways. Unfortunately, our brain has a habit of conﬂating the two – there are some things we convince ourselves we need to live that we really don’t. For me, that thing was coﬀee – every day. When I realised just how much I was spending on oat caramel lattes each month, I was horrified and promptly bought myself some sugar-free syrup, a carton of oat milk and a good mug. Review your own habits and see where you can cut back, or simply what you can cut out.

Delay your delight

Once upon a time I bought a Gucci belt. I’m not a flashy person, but I wanted it and loved it in the moment. I wore it a couple of times and then, almost as quickly as the urge to splurge had descended on me, the novelty of my purchase wore off. That belt is now sitting at the bottom of my wardrobe and I haven’t worn it in years. To avoid spending situations like this happening again, I now try to think of at least three different places I might wear the item. If I can do that and see the longterm rather than short-term future of the item I’m purchasing, then it goes in the shopping cart. Creating your own personal rule for spending, or challenging yourself to wait, allows you to reconsider the necessity of

what you’re planning to buy and gives you time to assess whether the item is really worth it. Another method I employ is making a monthly wishlist of my wants. During the month, I assess whether the item is a need or a want, I research the product, swap items in and out, price match and look at my budget to determine whether I really need it and can aﬀord it. If it’s a want and there’s additional money to facilitate that want, then I’ll buy it. If not, it stays as a wishlist item. Always choose financial stability over immediate gratification: although it can be hard sometimes, your future self will thank you for the discipline you create.

It’s important for me to say that I’m not against a little splurge here and there; I have a whole chapter at the end of this book dedicated to being happier with your money and treating yourself as you should. Here, I’m trying to get you to think more about the habits behind your spending, and to focus your money and time on things you really need.

Build a budget

To improve your finances, you first need to know them. That means creating a detailed budget, which outlines all your incomings, such as your salary or paid freelance