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First published 2025 001

Text copyright © Esme Higgs, 2025

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To Mickey

You were always there for me – you always listened

Chapter 1

I’m no good at talking about myself. We had to do this exercise once at school where we wrote down all the things we’re good at, and I couldn’t think of anything. When we were asked what we liked, I just wrote ‘horses’ and Kyle Bradden spent the rest of the week going, ‘You like horses ? Are horses your girlfriends then?’ and I got into trouble for punching him.

When Dad was in the news, Kyle was one of my biggest problems. The other students would mostly just whisper and turn away when I walked past. Not Kyle, though. He’d stand in the middle of the corridor and insult me and my dad to my face. Sometimes he insulted my mum too, saying she must be an idiot to have married my dad. Barely a day went by without a fight because he just wouldn’t stop. I lost count of the detentions and suspensions. I lost sight of myself, really, for a while. I was too angry: with everyone and everything. But then I found Starlight Stables and everything changed. Because being around horses makes me want to be a better person. It’s hard to explain. You can tell a horse anything and it won’t judge you.

Today, I’m on my way to Starlight Stables, and I already know which horse I’m going to talk to about my day. Onyx is very good at listening. He’s a tall dark bay with a slight dapple, like an Aero bar. He has a white star on his head and one white sock and, when he first came to Starlight, no one could ride him because he didn’t trust people. Maybe

that’s why we have such a strong bond: because I also find it hard to trust people. He trusts me, though –  and I’d trust him with my life. I tell Onyx things I wouldn’t tell anyone, not even the rest of the Starlight Stables Gang.

I didn’t really have friends before I met Jessie, Ellie and Summer. I have a couple of mates at school but they’re not friends –  not like the girls. The girls are kind and supportive and we’ve been through some crazy adventures together! Starlight feels like a different world, away from problems at school or home. It’s my place of escape.

I’m biking down a different lane than usual because Lucas, one of my mates, heard Kyle say he was going to fight me after school. I can’t risk another suspension, so I’ve gone out the back way from school. It means a longer ride but a safer one.

It’s a cold autumn day and there are puddles from the rain earlier. The lane is full of potholes and it takes all my concentration not to lose a wheel down one. So when I hear the horse –  and the shouting –  the shock makes me jolt and my front wheel slips off

a tarmac edge. Within half a second, I crash heavily into gravel and muddy water. I try not to swear, I really do. But there’s no one around to hear me, and it just slips out. It’s not as loud as the shouting though, and I can now make out the words. ‘I don’t know why I even BOUGHT you, you NEVER follow instructions, why can’t you just DO WHAT I TELL YOU?’

There is a loud alarmed whinny. I leave the bike on the ground and hurry along to a metal barred gate. On the other side, the field is divided into fenced paddocks, and in one of them a woman stands in front of a chestnut horse. I shrink to the side so that I can’t be seen. The woman is wearing a bright blue gilet and a riding hat. She has mud all down one side of her navy breeches and she’s holding a lead rope attached to the horse’s head collar. The horse is rearing and tossing its head. Its ears are back and even at this distance I can see the whites of its eyes. The woman, far from trying to calm the horse, is making everything worse by screaming and shouting in its face.

‘EVERY TIME! You buck me off EVERY TIME and it’s NOT OK!’

I’m trembling. I can see how scared the horse is, and I don’t blame it. This woman is off-the-scale angry! The poor horse is trying to get away from her, but the woman is holding the lead rope and yanking on it every time she shouts.

‘You’re not even wearing a SADDLE ! I was only on your back for TWO SECONDS , what is your PROBLEM ?’ she shrieks.

My hands clench into fists. I can’t bear unkindness to animals. I know this isn’t my horse, but I just want to help it. I feel like my insides are heating up, like lava is running through my veins, and I’m on the verge of shoving my way through the hedge when the woman makes a disgusted noise and drops the rope, turning away and storming off. The horse instantly swings round and races in the opposite direction. I can see now she’s a big mare, with a bright white stripe down her nose. She’s huffing and puffing and dancing about. I know exactly how she feels. When you’ve been shouted at, you feel scared and angry and full of

energy that has nowhere to go. She kicks out her back legs and tosses her head –  but she’s too close to the fence, and the dangling lead rope somehow wraps itself round a post and holds tight.

My eyes widen as the mare pulls back desperately, digging her hooves into the ground to strain against the rope. The head collar must be cutting into her ears and chin, but she continues to thrash and strain. I glance around frantically, waiting for the woman to come rushing back to help, but no one appears.

The mare whinnies in distress, and I can’t wait any longer. In my mind, I can hear Summer, Ellie and Jessie saying, ‘Go and help her!’

It’s not my land or my horse, and I’m going to get into big trouble if I’m caught, but I can’t leave her like that. In my mind there’s no question about what I should do.

I look left and right along the lane, take a deep breath and vault over the gate.

Chapter 2

I land heavily in mud, but I barely notice. There’s a path between the fenced-off areas, and I see more horses on my left. The mare’s paddock is to my right, so I run down the path, trying not to slip. November rains have turned everything to sludge. A faint drizzle begins as I make my way towards the frightened mare. She’s panicking so much I’m afraid she’s going to hurt herself badly. Thankfully,

there’s a fence between us. I wouldn’t dare go into a field with a panicking horse!

As I get closer, I walk more slowly and murmur some reassuring words. ‘It’s all right. Oh dear, you’ve got caught on the fence, haven’t you? I’m here to help.’

The mare’s ears twitch as she hears my approach, and her head swings round –  as far as it can, since she’s firmly tied to the post. She whinnies in distress again.

‘I know, I know,’ I say soothingly. I stop a few metres away. ‘I can help you. My name’s Daniel. I was on my way to see some other horses, actually. At Starlight Stables.’ I alter my voice to a particular pitch and tone I know Onyx likes. ‘I guess you won’t know any of my other horse friends –  Luna, Onyx and Angus? Then there’s Jasper and Carmen. Bert and Lacey – they’re so funny. Bert won’t go anywhere without Lacey. There’s Nacho too – he’s got a lovely white stripe down his nose like you have.’

The mare’s ears twitch as she listens, and her movements slow down.

‘In the summer, we had a really bad time,’ I continue. ‘Poor Luna was stolen by someone with a grudge against Starlight Stables. We found her just in time. Some people aren’t very kind to animals, are they? But I would never do anything to hurt you, and neither would my human friends. We all love horses.’ I edge a little closer, and the mare doesn’t react, so I move closer again. I can see there’s a thin spiky bramble snaking its way up the fence post –  that’s how the lead rope got tangled. It’s snagged on the thorns.

‘Now,’ I say to the mare, edging closer still so that I’m right next to the fence post, ‘I can try to untangle this rope if you like. The easiest thing would be to unclip it from your head collar, but then I’d have to reach over to you, and I’m not sure you’d like that, would you?’ Slowly, I reach out a hand to the horse. It jerks back. ‘I’m so sorry,’ I say in the same conversational tone. ‘I didn’t mean to make you jump. I’ll see what I can do about this lead rope then.’

It’s not an easy job. Somehow the rope has wrapped itself round the bramble and into the

crack where the rail meets the post. I start by trying to free the end of the rope, pricking myself on the thorns several times. I can feel myself getting crosser and crosser with the woman who left the lead rope attached to the head collar, but I keep my voice calm so that the horse doesn’t sense it. She’s stopped trying to pull back and is standing more quietly. I think she’s realized I’m trying to help.

It feels like hours but I’m sure it only takes minutes to free the rope. ‘There you go,’ I say in relief, letting go of it and sucking on a scratch on my arm. The mare takes a few hesitant steps backwards, lowers her head and shakes, snorting. ‘I know,’ I say. ‘Bet that feels better, doesn’t it?’

I expect her to move away now, but to my surprise she comes right up to the fence and puts her head over the rail. The lead rope dangles dangerously close to the same bramble. ‘Want me to take it off?’

I ask her. Very gently, I reach out and stroke her nose. She huffs. I feel round to the underside of the head collar and carefully unclip the rope. ‘All done,’

I tell her. ‘It can’t get caught any more.’ I stroke her nose and give her a little scratch between the ears. She huffs in delight, but I’ve noticed something else that makes me angry. Under the head collar are several patches where the hair has almost rubbed away. It’s not just from her recent thrashing – it looks like this horse wears a head collar all the time.

I really want to take the collar off, but this isn’t my horse and I’ve already broken loads of rules. I know what happens when you break rules –  my dad’s proof of that. ‘Listen,’ I tell the mare, ‘I have friends who can help you. I’m on my way to see them now. We’ll make sure you get help.’ She snuffles into my shoulder and I feel a deep pull of –  something. Something that makes me want to cry and punch at the same time. Instead, I give her another quick stroke, and then turn and make my way back to the gate.

I’m climbing over it when I hear a shout from behind me. The woman is coming back into view!

‘Hey!’ she shouts. ‘What are you doing in my field?’

But I don’t stop. Instead, I run to my bike, jump on it, and cycle off as fast as the drizzle and the muddy ground will allow.

Chapter 3

My heart lifts as I turn into the Starlight driveway. The  cream-and-navy sign, the sight of horses and ponies in the fields – I feel my shoulders relaxing, and a smile spreads across my face. I prop the bike against the wall of the office building and stick my head inside. It’s empty – that’s not unusual; Jodie and Sooz are often out in the yard or teaching in the arena. They own and run Starlight, and their house is close by.

In the yard, I spot Jessie and Summer mucking out Angus’s stable. Well, Summer is doing the mucking out. Jessie is standing by the wheelbarrow and talking. It makes me grin: Jessie avoids all the chores as far as possible, even though Angus is her own pony! Her long, brown plait hangs neatly down her back, whereas Summer’s blonde hair has bits of hay in it, and there’s a smudge of dirt on her cheek.

‘Making Summer do all the work?’ I tease as I approach.

Jessie’s mouth opens in indignation. ‘I poopicked a whole field already!’

‘I don’t mind,’ says Summer, straightening up and wiping another bit of dirt across her face. She leans on the rake and frowns. ‘Are you all right? You’re covered in mud.’

‘Yeah. No. I fell. But also . . .’ I bite my lip. I can feel the anger rising in me again when I think about the chestnut mare. ‘I saw something. A horse being mistreated.’

The girls gasp. ‘Oh no, where?’ asks Jessie.

‘On my way here. Have you seen Jodie? I need to tell her.’

‘I think she’s in the tack room,’ says Summer. She puts down the rake. ‘We’ll come with you.’

‘Oh, no, you don’t have –’

‘Are you kidding?’ says Jessie, shooting a bolt across the stable door. ‘Of course we’re coming.’

Jodie is scrubbing a muddy saddle but she smiles when she sees us. ‘Three quarters of the Starlight Stables Gang! You all look very serious; what’s the matter?’

Quickly, I explain to Jodie and the others about the chestnut mare. Jodie’s face falls and she looks grave. The girls aren’t so silent.

‘Oh my god!’ says Jessie, using her favourite phrase, the one her mum hates. ‘I can’t believe it!’

‘She was just shouting at the horse over and over?’ asks Summer, looking even paler than normal.

Jodie doesn’t speak for a moment. I like Jodie. She doesn’t react to things immediately, not like Sooz, who’s really emotional. Jodie kind of absorbs the information, processes it and then decides what to

do. We all wait while she thinks. Then she nods, puts aside the saddle and stands up. ‘I’ll call Sajid,’ she says simply. ‘Leave it with me.’ I feel relieved that Jodie believes me. She knows how much I care about horses. Sajid works for a local horse welfare charity and he’s a good person. He’ll help the chestnut, I’m sure.

At the door, Jodie turns and looks back at me. Her eyes narrow slightly. ‘Why don’t you take Onyx for a quick trot round the paddock?’ she says, and then heads off.

I take a deep breath. I hadn’t realized how tight my chest felt.

‘Good idea,’ says Jessie. ‘Summer and I could join you –  is that OK , Jodie?’ she yells. Jodie waves a hand in response. ‘I think that means yes,’ says Jessie firmly.

The other two have to go and catch Angus and Luna from the field, but Onyx is in a stable already. I’m glad for a few moments alone with him. He snuffles into my hair and tries to eat my ear, which makes me laugh. ‘Hey, boy,’ I whisper to him,

running my hands along his strong neck. Jodie and Sooz let me borrow him for pony camp recently, so we got to know each other really well. His canter is pretty fast, which I like, but his trot’s a bit bouncy for me.

I lean over his back and just let myself breathe for a minute. Horses are so solid. There’s something very reassuring about them. Onyx stands still while I lean on him with my eyes closed. ‘Hey,’ I whisper. ‘Guess what? Kyle is after my blood again. Bet you’re surprised.’

Onyx huffs in disapproval. ‘I know,’ I agree. ‘And yesterday Jack put Toby’s monster truck in the washing machine as a joke, but it accidentally got washed, and two of the bits snapped off and got stuck in the machine. I had to watch an online video to work out how to fix it. And Ben woke up in the night and decided to make a cheese sandwich at two a.m. It took me ages to get back to sleep.’ I yawn.

‘Everything is so stressful.’

Onyx says nothing further but stands very quietly, so I stop talking and just rest on him. After a few

moments, it feels like some of his serenity is seeping into me. Onyx doesn’t worry about things. Onyx just is. I should try to be more Onyx.

When I stand up again, I feel a lot better. My thoughts and feelings aren’t so jumbled. ‘Cheers, mate,’ I tell Onyx, and then go find his saddle and bridle and tack him up.

I’m first in the paddock, and I walk Onyx round a couple of times and then push him into a gentle trot. When Sooz first invited me to come to Starlight over a year ago, I didn’t want to ride. I just liked being around the horses: feeding them, grooming them, clearing up after them. But a few months ago, I started learning to ride, and now I can’t get enough of it! There’s something so satisfying about getting the rise and fall exactly right, working towards getting every single change of direction and pace smooth and seamless. I feel my spine straightening, my lungs expanding. Onyx huffs into the air. I give him a little nudge and he increases the pace to a canter – and I can’t help smiling. I’d do this forever, I swear. Every other worry just slides away.

Jessie on her bay Arab cross, Angus, and Summer on the dapple-grey mare, Luna, soon join me, and I drop Onyx down to a slow walk. Jessie’s a brilliant showjumper, but then she had a bad fall and developed anxiety. There was a point when she couldn’t even get on a pony, let alone ride it, but now she’s improving all the time.

The gang has only been the gang for a few months. Jessie met Summer at school and brought her to Starlight Stables, but then Summer’s favourite pony, Luna, was stolen. Summer, Jessie and Ellie first suspected me of stealing her –  as if I would! But then we all joined forces to find Luna, and we somehow became friends. You could say the ponies brought us together.

We walk the ponies round the paddock a couple of times, chatting about horse stuff, and then I hear a shout. Ellie is wheeling herself towards the fence, expertly navigating any lumps in the gravel. I wave and call hello. Ellie always makes me smile –  she has this way of looking at the world as though it’s a huge challenge to be solved –  in fact, she wants to

be a detective when she grows up and solve real mysteries. That or a film-maker. With horses. Nothing seems to faze her. She fell off a wall a few years ago and broke part of her spine, which means she has to use a wheelchair, but she’s the most determined of all of us – and the most fearless rider!

I walk Onyx over to Ellie and dismount so I can chat to her.

‘Wow, you are really muddy,’ comments Ellie, looking at my school uniform.

‘Yeah. I fell off my bike.’ I tell her about the mistreated mare and Ellie’s expression darkens in fury, as I knew it would.

‘We have to do something,’ she says firmly, and reaches into a bag on her wheelchair for her Case Notes book and pen.

‘It’s not a mystery,’ I say. ‘Jodie’s going to get the welfare people to investigate.’

‘It so is a mystery,’ replies Ellie indignantly. ‘It’s a mystery how anyone could treat a horse like that!’

‘I guess, if you put it like that.’

‘Where’s this field exactly?’ she asks. I describe it and she pulls out her phone to open a map app. ‘I’ll see what I can find out,’ she says.

I feel slightly worried. Ellie can get carried away by enthusiasm, and sometimes it leads to trouble. ‘I told you – Jodie’s going to handle it.’

Ellie raises her eyebrows. ‘Since when do we let the grown-ups take charge? Remember when Luna went missing? Who found her?’

‘Um . . . me and Summer?’

‘The Starlight Stables Gang,’ says Ellie firmly.

‘Remember when we needed a celebrity to open the summer show? Who found one?’

‘The Starlight Stables Gang.’

‘And who proved there was cheating at pony camp?’

‘All right, all right!’ I hold up my hands in defence. ‘You’ve made your point. But I still think we should let Jodie do her thing first.’

Ellie nods reluctantly. ‘If she doesn’t sort it, it’s up to us.’

Summer and Jessie bring their ponies over. ‘What’s the plan?’ asks Jessie. ‘Ellie’s got that look on her face.’

‘We’re the back-up for that poor mare,’ says Ellie.

‘If the grown-ups can’t rescue her, then we will.’

‘You sound like you’re hoping the grown-ups will fail,’ says Summer suspiciously.

Ellie’s eyes open very wide. ‘Me? I don’t know what you mean!’

I laugh and shake my head. ‘How would we get anything done without you, Ellie?’

She suddenly looks embarrassed. ‘Oh –  I –  I’m just – anyway, I – gosh, is that the time?’

‘Wait,’ I say. ‘What is the time?’

‘Half past five.’

‘No way, already? I have to go. Mum has a shift tonight; I’ve got to be back before she goes to work.’

‘We’ll untack Onyx for you,’ offers Summer.

‘Thanks, that would be great. I’ll make it up to you.’

I say goodbye to Onyx, dash out of the paddock and race round to grab my bike. I feel much better than I did when I arrived. My head is clearer and my anger has subsided. Everything will be OK. The Starlight Stables Gang effect in action again!

Chapter 4

By the time I get home, it’s properly dark. I take the bike through the side gate and prop it against the wall of the house. The side gate doesn’t lock, and I don’t have a bike lock either, so I always have to hope no one nicks it. That would really mess up my journeys to school and Starlight. As I push open the front door, I’m hit by a wall of sound. Everyone’s home, and that’s a lot of people!