THE DAVIS ENTERPRISE
Finding campus friends Dear Annie: I am sibling No. 3 out of four. I am estranged from Nos. 2 and 4. This was my choice, and a wise decision. They are manipulative bullies, and after years of trying to have a relationship with them, I finally gave up. My younger sibling tried to manipulate me with a fake suicide threat because I would not give in to her demands. My older brother is an emotionally unavailable bully who has taken advantage of my father by using his credit cards and then not paying him back. I have tried to address these issues, but they always turn the table and tell me that I am the problem. Dad turns 90 next summer, and my oldest sibling wants us to fly home (COVID-19 permitting) to have a dinner celebration at a restaurant. Annie, I don’t want to go. I cannot bring myself to sit across the table from these two. I refuse to fake it or pretend that everything is fine. If I do this, I will be resentful toward myself. I am not willing, not even for Dad. I am planning to fly later in the month to take Dad and my stepmother out to dinner. We get along really well. They are aware of the estrangement and have remained neutral, which is good. Do you have any other suggestions? — Sibling 3 Has Left the Building Dear Sibling 3: It sounds like there’s a great deal of hurt, anger and miscommunication here. A suicide threat is never something to dismiss as just being manipulative. It is often a cry for help (which I’m hoping she received from a professional). As far as your older brother being emotionally unavailable and taking advantage of your father, he can’t be a very happy person. But on your point that every conversation ends with the tables being turned on you, this might be an indication of things you have to work on as well. Relationships are two-way streets, and rarely is one person completely at fault. Be introspective and see if you can find forgiveness in your heart for them, at least so you can go to your dad’s 90th birthday. You don’t have to sit at their table, and remember, it’s not a birthday about you; it’s for your father, and my guess is that nothing would make him happier than having all of his children in attendance.
EMPLOYMENT
HELP WANTED Payroll Technician I/II, Finance Department - FFD: 01/04/21 Salary: $4,023.07 - $5,380.27 Monthly; City of Davis, 23 Russell Blvd., Davis, CA 95616. FFD: 01/04/21. See job bulletin at www.cityofdavis.org for min. req. or call (530) 757-5644, TDD (530) 757-5666; City emp. appl. req. EOE.
EMPLOYMENT
Legals@DavisEnterprise.net Dear Annie: This is for “Concerned Mom” whose daughter was having trouble making new friends in college during COVID19. The first point of contact for the student is her academic adviser. “Trouble making friends” is a good reason for a visit. Most universities now have “cohort courses” for first-year students with the intended purpose of establishing community among freshmen and transfers. Often, there is a separate such course for each major program. Colleges also have clubs and other extracurricular organizations — some of which may still be active during the pandemic. Finally, I’ve noticed that students often set up group chats on platforms like Snapchat to talk about specific courses. “Concerned Mom’s” daughter can make sturdy, lasting friends pretty fast by giving help to another student, or receiving help from another. — Professor Who Cares Dear Professor: Thank you for reminding us how often opportunities for connection and friendship are available; we just need to ask. It’s amazing to hear how resilient college students have been during this unprecedented time.
unhappiness, then suggest that she move out. In the end, it is up to your friend and her mother to communicate better and try and live in peace. However, you do not have to allow her to complain about her mom every time you are together. Next time you are with her and she starts to share negative commentary about her mom, let her know that you appreciate her being open with but you’re wanting to talk about more positive topics. Focusing on the positive doesn’t discount the difficult, though it can remind us of the good. You don’t need to stay in these toxic conversations. The best thing you can do is be patient with your friend, but don’t let her dump all of her negativity onto you. And encourage her to seek the help of a professional. We all need to share our feelings, and a counselor or therapist can offer an empathetic ear. ——— Dear Annie: Online romance scammers are a real problem, and I have a few suggestions for how to detect them and how to deal with them. Typically, they write sweet nothings and paint themselves as perfect. Some dead giveaways are that they don’t answer your questions, and they use poor grammar and punctuation in their typing. Their “sweet speeches” are probably copied and pasted over many times. Very often, they are from out of state or even out of the country. If you are suspicious of someone on a dating site, then ask him to take a selfie and send it to you. He probably won’t do it. If he refuses, report him to the dating website. I’ve done this several times. He’ll be off the site tomorrow. — Seen It Before Dear Seen It Before: Thank you for your suggestions. I hope your insights will help others in similar situations.
— A Grateful Al-Anon Member Dear Grateful: Thank you for sharing your experience and appreciation for this program. It’s great to know how much support you’ve received and contributed to the Al-Anon community. ——— Dear Annie: I’m writing with a warning. My hubby had his annual sinus cough that hung on with a slight fever this summer. He tried to see our doctor and had to get a COVID-19 test. It was negative. A week passed while we waited for the results, and they wanted another test and another X-ray. Three weeks later, my husband was sick with a fever. He went to the appointment and was told to go to the emergency room. He was dead within a week from pneumonia and toxic shock. If they had seen him or sent him to the ER sooner, I might not be wondering what I should have done. I wasn’t allowed to go into the hospital, so he was all alone. Please tell the world not to wait for medical issues. — Missing My Husband Dear Missing: I am so sorry for your loss. Your advice to seek immediate medical attention, especially if you have a preexisting condition, is on point. This is a difficult time, and not being able to be with a loved one who dies adds a layer of pain that, frankly, no person should endure. Let loved ones support you, and consider finding a grief support group to help you process your loss.
Hard to listen to friend’s complaints Dear Annie: This is in response to “D.K.,” who complained about Al-Anon. Al-Anon is often described as a selfish program. Those who constantly are thinking about their alcoholic loved ones may be at a loss when they are encouraged to start thinking about themselves. I, for one, thought plenty about myself and, like many others, came to Al-Anon to learn how to fix the alcoholic so I could get back to my normal life. I, too, had ideas of how my meetings should change. Yet, I knew Al-Anon was a decades-old program that worked for many others. I read every program-approved book and pamphlet. I learned the slogans and worked the steps. I learned to give service to others. Sometimes by simply being silent in meetings. I learned about my part in relationships. I learned how to love my God, myself and my fellow man and how to live with them. Al-Anon groups will tell you straight out: “We aren’t perfect. The welcome we gave you may not show the warmth we have in our hearts for you. After a while, you’ll discover that though you may not like all of us, you’ll love us in a very special way. The way we already love you.”
PETS
Dear Annie: My good friend, who happens to be in her 40s, moved back in with her parents over five years ago because of her health and for financial reasons. Her parents have allowed her to live with them and don’t require her to pay rent. My friend is constantly complaining about her mother. She makes her mom out to be one of the worst moms ever. She feels her mom isn’t very nice to her and that her mom finds fault in everything that she does. This gets hard to listen to every time we’re together. Her parents are in their late 70s and early 80s. Perhaps her mom just wants to enjoy being retired together with her husband — to not have to take care of, or tiptoe around, a daughter who doesn’t appreciate what she has done for her. I would love to say these things to my friend, but I am afraid she won’t take it well from me. I really think she would have a better relationship with her mom if she moved out. What do you think? — Concerned Friend Dear Concerned Friend: You are probably correct that some distance between your adult friend and her mother might be a good thing for their relationship. If she is really a good friend, and you are concerned about her
A distant companion Dear Annie: I’m 65, and my boyfriend is 70. We’ve been in an on-again, off-again relationship for more than eight years. I met him online six months after my divorce from my spouse of 32 years. He told me he had been divorced 25 years and had never remarried, only for me to find out that he had been briefly married a second time (when critically ill in the hospital). In the beginning of our relationship, I never met his family. At times, he wouldn’t call for days, and I suspected he may have been seeing another woman, so I broke up with him a few times, once for three years. During that time, he would call periodically and beg me to reconcile with him. We’ve been back together for almost two years, and things are different. I’ve met members of his family; he attends my family events; and he never misses a day without calling me several times, which includes a phone call
RENTALS & REAL ESTATE
Salary: $4,518.80 - $6,042.40 Monthly; City of Davis, 23 Russell Blvd., Davis, CA 95616. FFD: 11/30/2020. See job bulletin at www.cityofdavis.org for min. req. or call (530) 757-5644, TDD (530) 757-5666; City emp. appl. req. EOE.
RENTALS & REAL ESTATE 3bed/2bath rental, Radcliffe Drive, Davis, available now, great central location for UCD/shopping/ restaurants/parks/ schools, fenced backyard, incl. washer/ dryer and carport for 2 cars, (530) 304-0815
RENTALS & REAL ESTATE Le Tournesol Townhomes 3bd/2ba *Special Offers* 8/mo lease: $1895/mo & 2nd month FREE 3/mo lease: $1995/mo Month-to-month: $2095/mo Contact sherriegan555@yahoo.com for details
before going to bed. He has taken me on many nice, all-expenses-paid vacations, helped me move and paid my moving expenses. He’s always willing to help me in any way he can. While things are better now in our relationship, I still don’t totally trust him. I truly love this man, and every day, he tells me he loves me. And yet, he does not want to cohabitate or marry me. For an entire year, he told me he would move in with me after his lease was up but then told me he had changed his mind and moved into a new apartment. When I asked him for a reason for his decision, he got very angry with me and said, “Maybe try to find someone else to live with.” Even though he later apologized for making that statement, it hurt me deeply. It’s probably important to mention that we live in neighboring states — only about an hour’s drive away. We saw each other more often before the COVID-19 pandemic, and now we only see each other about once a month. He also has chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, which seems to be getting worse over the years. I live in a two-story home. I’ve wondered if these were reasons for his decision that he just didn’t want to share with me. My dilemma is this: I really want to get married again. I absolutely hate living alone. I get lonely and don’t want to spend whatever time I have left living alone. I’ve explained this to him and feel it’s unfair to me that we can’t even have a conversation about it without him getting angry. Annie, am I just being impatient, or am I right to feel that I should move on and seek a man who also hates living alone and wants to be married as much as I do? — Am I Wasting My Precious Time? Dear AIWMPT: It sounds like you’re looking for more than this man can give you. That doesn’t make either of you wrong, but it might make you wrong for each other. If you expect him to wake up one day and suddenly want to get married, you’re being unrealistic and setting yourself up for disappointment and, eventually, bitter resentment. End things now while you can do so amicably, and look for someone whose capacity for companionship is closer to your own.
The Enterprise is OPEN for business! To SUBSCRIBE, please call 530-756-0826. To place an AD, email nhannell@ davisenterprise.net or call Nancy at 530-747-8032. For LEGAL NOTICES, email legals@davisenterprise.net or call Shawn at 530-747-8061. For CLASSIFIEDS or OBITUARIES, email classads@ davis enterprise.net or obit@ davisenterprise.net or call Aaron at 530-747-8062.
Your Puzzle Solutions Sudoku 1
HELP WANTED Wastewater Treatment Plant Operator I/II, Public Works U&O
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2020 B7
t
(upside down)
Sudoku 2
t
Have you lost a pet? Do you want to help shelter animals get back home? Please join the Yolo County Lost and Found Pets Group on Facebook at facebook.com/ groups/yolopets
Public Notices FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT Filed: December 3, 2020 FBN Number: F20200968 1. Fictitious Business Name(s) MISHKASPENLAB.COM 2. Street Address, City, State and Zip of Principal Place of Business in California. Business is located in Yolo County. 610 Second Street Davis, CA 95616 3. List Full Name(s) of Registrant(s), Residence Address, State, and Zip ARMISI INC. 222 Rice Lane Davis, CA 95616 4. Business Classification: Corporation 5. Beginning Date of Business: The Registrant(s) commenced to transact business under the fictitious business name or names listed above on: N/A “I declare that all information in this statement is true and correct.” (A registrant who declares as true information which he or she knows to be false is guilty of a crime.) 6. Signature of Registrant(s): Sinisa Novakovic, President 12/6, 12/13, 12/20, 12/27 1075
FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT Filed: December 3, 2020 FBN Number: F20200969 1. Fictitious Business Name(s) The Orange Tree Apartments 2. Street Address, City, State and Zip of Principal Place of Business in California. Business is located in Yolo County. 311 7th Street Davis, CA 95616 Mailing address: 707 Pamplona Ave. Davis, CA 95616 3. List Full Name(s) of Registrant(s), Residence Address, State, and Zip Shuching Wang 707 Pamplona Ave. Davis, CA 95616; Hung Jung Lin 436 Avocet Ave. Davis, CA 95616 4. Business Classification: Joint Venture 5. Beginning Date of Business: The Registrant(s) commenced to transact business under the fictitious business name or names listed above on: N/A “I declare that all information in this statement is true and correct.” (A registrant who declares as true information which he or she knows to be false is guilty of a crime.) 6. Signature of Registrant(s): Shuching Wang 12/6, 12/13, 12/20, 12/27 1076
• E-mail your public notice to legals@davisenterprise.net • Be sure to include your name and phone number • View public notices at www.capublicnotice.com
FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT Filed: December 4, 2020 FBN Number: F20200975 1. Fictitious Business Name(s) Picnic Table Farm 2. Street Address, City, State and Zip of Principal Place of Business in California. Business is located in Yolo County. 3218 Morro Bay Ave. Davis, CA 95616 3. List Full Name(s) of Registrant(s), Residence Address, State, and Zip Paul Boulware 3218 Morro Bay Ave. Davis, CA 95616 4. Business Classification: Individual 5. Beginning Date of Business: The Registrant(s) commenced to transact business under the fictitious business name or names listed above on: N/A “I declare that all information in this statement is true and correct.” (A registrant who declares as true information which he or she knows to be false is guilty of a crime.) 6. Signature of Registrant(s): Paul Boulware 12/6, 12/13, 12/20, 12/27 1077
FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT Filed: December 7, 2020 FBN Number: F20200985 1. Fictitious Business Name(s) Dowling Real Estate Trust DRET 2. Street Address, City, State and Zip of Principal Place of Business in California. Business is located in Yolo County. 503 Third Street Davis, CA 95616 Mailing address: P.O. Box 75000 Davis, CA 95617 3. List Full Name(s) of Registrant(s), Residence Address, State, and Zip Dowling Properties, Inc. 503 Third Street Davis, CA 95616 4. Business Classification: Corporation 5. Beginning Date of Business: The Registrant(s) commenced to transact business under the fictitious business name or names listed above on: September 16, 1977 “I declare that all information in this statement is true and correct.” (A registrant who declares as true information which he or she knows to be false is guilty of a crime.) 6. Signature of Registrant(s): Andrew Dowling 12/20, 12/27, 1/3, 1/10 1095