Student Group Chat Guidelines (Grades 6-12)
Purpose
Group chats are already a part of students’ social lives. At Laurel School, we are not promoting or requiring group chats, nor encouraging students to join them. These guidelines exist to help students and families navigate group chats responsibly when they occur.
Group chats can support collaboration, planning, and connection. When misused, they can also become spaces for exclusion, rumorspreading, or unkind behavior. These recommendations are designed to help students communicate with Integrity, Respect, and Responsibility, while supporting families as the primary guides of students’ digital lives.
Appropriate Uses of Group Chats
Group chats are best used for:
• Sharing homework reminders, project logistics, or team updates
• Coordinating school or social events respectfully
• Encouraging, supporting, and including others
Group chats should not be used for:
• Talking negatively about others or spreading rumors
• Sharing inappropriate images, memes, or language
• Teasing, targeting, or excluding others—even as a “joke”
• Discussing private or personal matters better handled in person
Research note: Studies consistently show that group chats can amplify peer pressure and increase the likelihood of unkind or impulsive behavior, especially when adults are not present (Hinduja & Patchin, 2018).
Adding and Removing Members
• Always ask permission before adding someone to a group chat
• Do not remove, mute, or create “side chats” about others without their knowledge
• Creating a new chat to talk about someone instead of with them is a form of social exclusion and can harm community trust
• If a chat becomes uncomfortable or unkind, students are encouraged to leave respectfully and seek adult support
Why this matters: Exclusion in digital spaces can be as harmful as in-person exclusion and has been linked to increased anxiety and loneliness in adolescents (Rideout & Robb, 2018).
Tone and Content: Pause Before You Post
Before sending a message, students should ask: “Would I say this out loud in front of the person, a teacher, or my parents?”
Helpful reminders:
• Avoid sarcasm or screenshots that could be misinterpreted
• Keep messages brief, factual, and kind
• Remember: screenshots are permanent—even deleted messages can be saved or shared
Developmental insight: The part of the brain responsible for impulse control and judgment (the frontal lobe) is still developing through adolescence, making mistakes more likely—especially in fast-moving group chats (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2016).
Student Group Chat Guidelines (Grades 6-12) continued
When Students See or Experience Unkind Behavior
If something hurtful is posted:
• Do not reply or pile on
• Privately support the targeted person (for example, “I’m sorry that happened”)
• Report concerns to a trusted adult (advisor, counselor, or parent)
• If it feels safe, students may also say, “Let’s change the topic,” or “That’s not kind” Reporting is not tattling—it is a way to protect the community and prevent harm.
Family’s Role (Primary Responsibility)
Families play the most important role in guiding students’ digital behavior. We encourage parents and caregivers to:
• Thoughtfully decide when a child is ready for a phone
• Set clear family norms, boundaries, and expectations
• Routinely check phones with students, not secretly
• Have ongoing conversations about kindness, respect, and digital decision-making
• Understand that mistakes will happen and that monitoring and coaching are essential
The Social Institute emphasizes that proactive family conversations and shared expectations significantly reduce digital conflict and online harm (The Social Institute, 2023).
Laurel School’s Role
Laurel School partners with families while respecting boundaries:
• We do not monitor private group chats or police student phones
• Students do not have access to phones during the school day
• We are responsive to how digital interactions affect students at school
• We may facilitate restorative practices when harm has occurred, and support is needed
• Any concerns involving hate speech, threats, or safety that are brought to our attention require school involvement and may include safety protocols or disciplinary action
Our Shared Goals
Our shared goals are to help students:
• Build healthy relationships
• Learn from mistakes
• Develop empathy, judgment, and accountability
• Use technology in ways that strengthen—not harm—our community
We value our partnership with families and appreciate your support as we guide students through the social and emotional challenges of growing up in a digital world.
RESOURCES & REFERENCES
• American Academy of Pediatrics. (2016). Media and Young Minds.
• Hinduja, S., & Patchin, J. (2018). Cyberbullying: Identification, Prevention, and Response.
• Rideout, V., & Robb, M. (2018). Social Media, Social Life: Teens Reveal Their Experiences. Common Sense Media.
• The Social Institute. (2023). Student Group Chats & Digital Social Spaces: Guidance for Families and Schools.
To learn more about Laurel’s Center for Research for Girls, please visit our website: https://lcrg.laurelschool.org/ CENTER