Live A Lived-In Life

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But I Like My Credit Card

by Lauren Simpson

Iwas tidying up the house a few days ago, and as I threw something in a bedroom and closed the door, I was immediately struck with conviction. I was cleaning up for someone to come over, and I wanted to make sure the living spaces were tidy, but I had zero concern for the bedrooms. Why? Because they weren’t going in the bedroom. They wouldn’t see that I just threw in ladybug wings, a pack of wipes, and dirty socks. They would see the tidy house, the one that doesn’t show all the clutter that’s usually laying around. They would see the un-lived-in house, the HGTV-ready show house. And y’all, it hit me: isn’t this what we do with our lives?

We tuck the worst parts of us in corners of our hearts and package ourselves up neat and tidy to present ourselves to the world. It’s the “fake it ’til you make it” mentality. We don’t want people to see just how truly “lived-in” that we are. We don’t want them to see the dark thoughts, the battle scars, and the "not-so “Jesus girl” moments. But then, I read this:

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

We don’t have to tuck the dark places away from anyone. In fact, we can boast about those weaknesses. We can be open, honest, and vulnerable about our dark places. Why? Because in those dark places, there’s grace.

Y’all, we don’t have to hide it all. We don’t have to paint on an un-lived-in look. But it’s exactly what we do. We tuck the shame, heartache, and failures away, never to be seen. Now, there is a time and place for things, I know that. And I’m not suggesting that we live in dark places forever: just that maybe we try to be where we are. He is faithful, and He

will carry us, so why do we try and cover it up, suggesting that we paint on “I’m doing pretty well” better than He can carry us?

He can give us that perfect peace even when we aren’t doing well, when we’re in the trenches. There is something so beautiful about His grace in those dark places. And y’all, if we tuck the dark places away, we’re tucking that grace away with it. I do it all the time. Her name is fake Lauren,

and she is amazing: literally amazing, y’all. I have mastered the skills to the point that real Lauren and fake Lauren can almost look identical. It takes a person super close to me to see the difference. It’s so sad because it’s so unnecessary. And hiding my weakness is hiding God’s grace. I don’t know about y’all, but hiding anything about God just sounds like a bad idea to me.

I want to live my life more lived-in than “show-ready.” I want to be honest with myself and others about where I am and how God has been faithful in those times.

Lauren Simpson is a follower of Christ, wife to David, and mother of three. Her daughter Berkley and son Henry passed away shortly after their birth, while her daughter Sadie is a thriving 4-year-old. Lauren enjoys reading, blogging, and spending time with her family!

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