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CASE STUDIES ON SUPPORTING ETHNIC MINORITIES WITH MENTAL HEALTH NEEDS # 4 SAMAIRA: TRADITIONAL PARENTS VS CONTEMPORARY CHILDREN (MINOR) BACKGROUND Samaira is a 38-year-old married female from Pakistan. She has been living in Hong Kong for almost 16 years, and came here after her first marriage. She separated from her first husband when her daughter was about 2 years old and brought her up single handedly. However, Samaira got in a relationship again, got married and has two kids from her second marriage 4 and 2 years old and her eldest daughter is 13 years now. After her second marriage, her husband had visa issues and as he was deported back to Pakistan. Samaira has been living in Hong Kong with her 3 children by herself as her husband has not yet been granted a visa for Hong Kong. Unfortunately, Samaira doesn’t have any immediate support system in Hong Kong. She must single handedly bring up 3 children and look after them physically, emotionally and financially. She has a few friends in HK and her children are mainly taken care of by household help as Samaira is a working mother. She especially struggles with her eldest daughter as she is extremely defiant and doesn’t pay any attention to what Samaira says. Samaira is concerned about her dressing style, her choice of words that she uses as she feels her religion prohibits them from using such words and wearing such clothes. She also feels that her daughter doesn’t take on any responsibility at home and instead spends excessive time on her phone. They often get into arguments and as a result her daughter is becoming rebellious. She doesn’t focus on studies, keeps her room untidy and doesn’t get involved with her younger siblings. Her daughter often complains of Samaira being demanding, authoritative and dictating which upsets her. Samaira expressed her desire for her to follow religious studies, be involved in prayer and wear certain types of clothes but her daughter refused to do so. She also wished to have better communication with her daughter and if she could get her to follow the right behavior. When she tries to find time with her it mostly turns into an argument, and she is unable to adhere to Samaira’s demands. Samaira is experiencing extreme stress and anxiety regarding her future as her husband is struggling with his visa issues. Samaira is finding life really meaningless and wished to give up on life. She feels exhausted taking care of kids and feels very low on energy, sad and lonely. She finds herself struggling with her daughter who is becoming more defiant every day. Her husband often gets into arguments with her for not having enough time for him or attend his calls when he wants to talk, and Samaira feels she is so occupied that she is not able to prioritize him at times. She feels helpless that she must meet everyone’s demands and no one understands her emotional state. Samaira felt she was not able to focus on work, had constant fights at home and her relationship with her daughter became really strained. She feels sad and stressed all the time. She had a chance to speak to a social worker about her struggles with her elder daughter after a parental talk organized by an NGO and the social worker sensed that she may need some more counselling support and has offered her the support.
ISSUES FACED BY CLIENT • Anxiety regarding future as husband is not able to get visa for HK • Meeting expectations of husband and children • Stressed about managing children, household and finances independently • Parenting issues • Concerns regarding daughter’s behavior and attitude • Religious and cultural expectations towards daughter • Feeling exhausted and blamed for not doing enough • Being blamed by daughter for not understanding her values The Zubin Mahtani Gidumal Foundation Limited, known as The Zubin Foundation (registered charity in Hong Kong - IR 91/12344). 小彬紀念基金會 (香港註冊慈善機構 IR 91/12344) 。 Unit 5F, High Fashion Centre, No. 1 Kwai Hei Street, Kwai Chung, Hong Kong 香港葵涌葵喜街 1 號達利國際中心 5 樓 F 室。 Tel 電話: +852 2540 9588 E-mail 電郵: info@zubinfoundation.org Website 網址: www.zubinfoundation.org © 2023 The Zubin Mahtani Gidumal Foundation Limited (registered charity in Hong Kong - IR 91/12344). All rights reserved.