Easy Parenting Issue 47 (Feb/Mar 2019) by Zahra Media Group

Ireland’s No.1 pregnancy & baby magazine ISSUE

Feb/Mar 2019

Expert Advice Just For You

Soothe your baby’s sensitive skin

FO OD & DR IN KS TO AV OI D IN PR EG NA NC Y

Does your child have frequent colds? side n i y h w t u o Find Holidaying with a toddler: one mum’s advice HOW TO TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX

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Ireland’s No.1 pregnancy & baby magazine

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Part of the Family The benefits of a bedtime story • Breastfeeding tongue tie • Vitamin guide • Family food • Crafty fun

Expert Advice Just For You

Soothe your baby’s sensitive skin

Does your child have frequent colds? inside Find out why

HOW TO TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX

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Welcome

FOOD & DRINKS TO AVOID IN PREGNANCY

Holidaying with a toddler: one mum’s advice

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Feb / Mar 19 GROUP EDITOR Emma Parkin eparkin@zahramediagroup.com 01 287 8636 DIGITAL EDITOR Emily Elphinstone emily@zahramediagroup.com STAFF WRITER Elsje du Toit elsje@zahramediagroup.com HEAD OF SOCIAL Kate Gunn kgunn@zahramediagroup.com DESIGN Sarah Hamill and Rodrigo Maruso Image libraries Getty Images, Shutterstock ADVERTISING Sales Manager Regina Hinds rhinds@zahramediagroup.com 01 287 8633

Editor’s letter

o matter what stage of parenting you’re at, this issue has something for everyone. If you’re pregnant and looking for tips, then make sure to read our guide on which food and drinks to avoid while you’re expecting on p.30, and find out how to keep your immunity strong with the advice from p.33. Discover how to treat your baby’s sensitive skin on p.48, and be sure to read Geraldine Walsh’s recommendations on how to survive a holiday with toddlers in tow. Hill. Nina having fun on Killiney Has your child expressed an interest in becoming a YouTube star? Then make sure to read the expert advice on p.80 on how to monitor your child’s online activity and make sure it’s done safely on p.82. Laura Doyle shares the highlights of her daughter Milla’s past two months on p.58, while Arlene Harris finds out the best ways to help your child to become resilient, p.78. We hope you enjoy this issue; please tell us if you’d like us to cover any particular topics by emailing us at editor@easyparenting.ie.

ADMINISTRATION Production Consultant Val Citron valeriecitron@gmail.com Circulation Manager John Dempsey jdempsey@zahramediagroup.com

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BOARD OF DIRECTORS Managing Director Gina Miltiadou gmiltiadou@zahramediagroup.com Chief Executive John Mullins jmullins@zahramediagroup.com Published by: Zahra Media Group, 12 Prince of Wales Terrace, Quinsborough Road, Bray, Co Wicklow. ISSN 1649-8496. One year subscription to Easy Parenting is €20.00

Emma Parkin Editor

KATE GUNN

NICHOLA CURRAN

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ARLENE HARRIS

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Contents

In the kitchen

94 What’s for dinner? 96 Pancake perfection

Crafts & activities

100 Wiggly caterpillar 101 Cheery cherry blossom tree

February / March 2019

Regulars 06 Your Say

What you’ve been talking about

08 Parenting news Top tips and up-to-date news

11 Events calendar What’s on around the country

12 Fertility facts and fiction Separate facts from fiction with advice from Dr Bart Kuczera

Pregnancy 16 Birth story Sandra Thomas Jones shares the story of her son Leo’s birth

18 Maternity style Winter comfort, and style tips

21 Pregnancy health head to toe An all round health guide for when you’re expecting

24 Premature birth: the facts Essential information

27 10 Literature Baby Names Names inspired by books!

28 Help, I’m constipated What to do if you can’t go!

30 What not to eat

Foods and drinks to avoid in pregnancy

33 Natural immunity boosters Protect yourself from infections

Precious beginnings

40 When your baby self-weans from the breast How to keep breastfeeding going

44 Holidaying with toddlers Geraldine Walsh’s tried and tested tips

46 Bed time story benefits How this nightly routine helps your child

48 Sensitive baby skin TLC Top tips for baby skincare

52 A breath of fresh air How to refresh the air in your home

55 Non-screen time fun Tracey Quinn’s fun activity ideas for kids

58 Baby diary Laura Doyle updates us on her baby Milla’s development

60 Baby clothes Keep your little one cosy this winter

62 Recurrent winter bugs When your child has frequent colds

76 Good reads Parenting and lifestyle books

Family

78 Resilient kids Help your child to be resilient

80 Talking to kids about sex The importance of openness

82 Your child and YouTube Need to know info for parents

85 Vitamins guide Essential vitamins for kids

92 Parenting truths Mum-of-two Geraldine Walsh talks about how kids should come with a warning label

Just for you 66 Beauty The latest beauty products and tips

68 Body changes after birth 10 body changes to expect postnatally

70 Fashion Stand out in handsome prints

72 Feel good friends Why we all need positive pals

74 Rebuilding yourself Rediscovering and rebuilding yourself after separation

Meet our experts TRACY DONEGAN Midwife

Experts panel 104 Fitness 106 Nutrition and diet 107 Children’s development 108 Emotional health 110 Sex & relationships 111 Women’s health 112 Babies and sleep 113 Childcare 114 Ask the midwife

LUCY WOLFE Paediatric sleep consultant

````

CAROLINE O’CONNOR Dietitian

41 Kids’ books

Our pick of the best books for kids

42 Breastfeeding tongue tie The connection between tongue tie and breastfeeding. 4

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FIONA O’FARRELL Occupational therapist

MICHELLE CLEARY Midwife and lactation consultant

SELENE DALY Dermatology nurse

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soft and snuggly wash after wash, our my first range is made with care and special attention to detail

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y a s r You

Join our Facebook page and follow us on Twitter FACEBOOK

Email your feedback and thoughts to editor@easyparenting.ie

Connect with other parents, enter our competitions and share your pregnancy and parenting stories on our Facebook page: Facebook. com/easyparentingmag

Don't forget your teeth

The dental health in pregnancy was such an interesting article. I am 20 weeks pregnant and have been so vigilant at taking my supplements, going to antenatal appointments and trying to eat a balanced diet, but I never even thought about how it might affect my oral health! I did have bad morning sickness in the beginning but didn’t think that it might have an impact on my teeth. I will now make a conscious effort to go to the dentist and pay better attention to my dental health. Olga, Tipperary

Helping your anxious child

Thank you for publishing this expert advice on how to help your anxious child in the Dec/Jan issue! My nine-year-old daughter has been extremely stressed about going into school in the last few weeks and I had no idea what to do. This article really helped me realise that I need to collect myself and make sure I am able to help her emotionally. I have now come up with an action plan with the school to help her enjoy it again. It’s only early days but so far so good, so fingers crossed! Maire, Meath

TWITTER Follow us on Twitter for Easy Parenting news and updates: twitter.com/EasyParenting1

s Day Happy Mots.her er to all of our read ve a ha l We hope you al , ay nd lovely day on Su 31st March.

FIONA O’FARRELL Sleep expert and occupational therapist

Fun times!

Occupational therapist Fiona has worked in paediatrics for 20 years specialising in sleep issues and development. This expertise has enabled Fiona to develop a ‘Child-Centric Approach’ to your child’s sleep difficulties which involves 'No crying it out.’ Fiona is also mum to three young children. Services include:

The easy parenting team out and about with family. Emily and her husband Paul enjoying a trip to the seaside with her niece Lily

• Fiona offers 1-1 sleep consultations for parents with different packages available depending on your child’s needs.* • Talks for groups of parents • Corporate talks on improving your sleep • Talks to health care professionals • Fiona is also board director of Irish Neonatal Health Alliance and her other passion is the area of sensory processing on the developing brain and premature babies. Fiona regularly gives talks at conference and to health care professionals

Nina enjoying some finger print painting

• Fiona contributes to both national media and Virgin Media One and is expert baby sleep and development contributor to everymum.ie www.fionaofarrell.ie Tel: 087-9144323 * (Please see your medical insurance for how your cost for Occupational Therapy can be claimed back)

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Mom, Mama, Mum No matter what we are called, we are all doing our best.

Every mum knows the love, the exhaustion, the pride and the self doubt that goes with being a mum. And every mum needs to be reminded that she’s not alone. For over 18 years, eumom.ie has been doing just that. For expert advice, honesty and friendship, we are here for every mum and every stage. And although we’re getting a new name, we are still the same people doing our very best for every mum in Ireland.

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31/08/2018 11:53 15/02/2019 05/12/2018 14:40 17:10

NEWS Use screen time as a reward? Think again If you’re giving your child an extra half hour or so on the iPad because he was well behaved, it might not be the best idea. According to a new study by the University of Guelph in Canada, children whose parents dole out screen time as a reward or revoke it as punishment, spend more time on a smartphone, tablet, computer or in front of the TV than children whose parents don’t. “It’s similar to how we shouldn’t use sugary treats as rewards because by doing so we can heighten the attraction to them,” said family relations and applied nutrition professor Jess Haines, who worked on the study with Lisa Tang. “When you give food as a reward it makes children like the carrot less and the cake more. Same thing with screen time.” The study, published in the journal BMC Obesity, involved 62 children between 18 months and five years and 68 parents. “We wanted to investigate the impact of parenting practices on toddler and preschooler’s screen time because this is the age when habits and routines become extablished and they tend to continue throughout life,” Tang said. “Also the use of mobile devices, such as tablets and smartphones, has soared in popularity among this age group in recent years.” According to the results, children spend on average nearly an hour and a half in front of a screen during weekdays and slightly more than two hours a day on weekends. Parents spend two hours a day on average in front of a screen during the week and just over two and a half hours a day on weekends. The amount of time children spent in front of a screen was influenced by a few things including whether parents use screen time as a reward. The study found that a majority of parents reported they use screen time as a way to control behaviour, especially on weekends. This led to children spending on average 20 minutes more a day on the weekend in front of a screen. “Watching screens takes away from other interactions that help children develop social and academic skills. Our hope is that these findings can help us arm parents who are entering a world where screens are ubiquitous,” Haines said.

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Fast fa

The pla ce nouris nta not only hes yo while h ur bab y e it also 's in the wo mb, protec ts b a c te r ia and him from infecti on.

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News

Dad’s post-natal depression linked to his teenage daughter’s depression It might not be widely discussed, but men can also experience postnatal depression. But now a new study from the University of Cambridge has found that it is linked to emotional problems for their teenage daughters. Almost one in 20 new fathers suffered depression in the weeks after their child was born, a study published in the journal JAMA Psychiatry and co-authored by Professor Paul Ramchandani of the Faculty of Education, University of Cambridge, found. The research also identified a link between postnatal depression in men and depression in their daughters as they reached adulthood. At 18, girls whose fathers had experienced depression after their birth were themselves at greater risk of the condition, researchers found. This “small but significant” increased risk applied only to girls; boys weren’t affected. It is still unclear why only men’s daughters are affected. “It appears that depression in fathers is linked with an increased level of stress in the whole family, and that this might be one way in which offspring may be

affected,” Professor Ramchandani said. “Whilst many children will not be affected by parental depression in this way, the findings of this study highlight the importance of providing appropriate help to fathers, as well as mothers, who may experience depression.”

Did you know? A 2014 study published in Psychological Science found that fathers who were help with household chores had daughters who aspired for less traditional and higher paying careers.

Bottle feeding your baby is associated with left-handedness A recent study from the University of Washington says bottle feeding babies is associated with left-handedness. According to the study the prevalence of left-handedness is lower among breastfed babies compared to bottle-fed babies. “We think breastfeeding optimises the process the brain undergoes when solidifying handedness,” said Philippe Hujoel, the study’s author, a professor at the UW’s School of

easy parenting

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Dentistry and an adjunct professor of epidemiology at the School of Public Health. “That’s important because it provides an independent line of evidence that breastfeeding may need to last six to nine months.” However, the study does not imply that breastfeeding leads to right-handedness. “Handedness, whether it be right- or lefthanded, is set early in fetal life and is at least partially determined by genetics. The research

does shed light on when the region of the brain that controls handedness localises to one side of the brain, a process known as brain lateralisation. Possibly, the research shows, breastfeeding optimises this lateralisation towards becoming right- or lefthanded.”

15/02/2019 15:55

Fertility files

Fertility

Facts & Fiction

Separate fertility facts from fiction with this expert advice from Dr Bart Kuczera

id you know there are 48.5 million couples living with fertility issues and infertility worldwide? Luckily, there is help out for people who are struggling to conceive. Dr Bart Kuczera, a fertility expert with Beacon CARE Fertility in Dublin feels that it's something we need to be open about in Ireland: “Dealing with fertility issues can be very stressful and for many the experience of uncertainty can be profound. If you’re struggling, it’s important to realise that many other people are living with the same issues, and that help is at hand. Although infertility is a common problem affecting 12

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one in five in this country, there is a taboo, particularly in Ireland, around talking about it." Here, Dr Kuczera separates fact from fiction when it comes to trying for a baby:

Having sex two weeks before your period helps you to conceive FACT “If you have regular periods, there’s an 85% chance you’re releasing an egg, which happens roughly 14 days before the start of your next period. "If you have irregular periods, the day might be slightly different. "Look out for signs you might be ovulating such as cramping in your

abdomen, or a thinner discharge. Sperm lives for two days so aim to have sex regularly around your fertile time.”

You will get pregnant using a fertility app FICTION “Apps can cause more harm than good, and should be used with caution. "They can be misleading and an instant turn-off if you become too reliant on them – no two women are the same. If you’re going to check when you ovulate, use a decent kit. “They measure a hormone in your urine that can be produced only when you’ve released an egg. The more expensive ones are more reliable.” easy parenting

15/02/2019 15:59

Fertility files

woman’s vaginal secretions, which helps sperm travel better. "For men, having sex to order can reduce desire and the male’s ability to reproduce. If men have sex when they least expect it, they will perform better and produce better sperm.”

Some positions are better than others for conception FICTION

Orgasms increase chances of pregnancy FICTION

“There’s no research to prove which is the best position for conception. In terms of a woman’s anatomy, the missionary position isn’t the best way to help sperm reach the cervix. "While other positions may give sperm a helping hand, there’s no research to confirm this increases the chances of pregnancy.”

“There is no correlation between orgasm and conception. For men, an orgasm is essential but for women, there’s no link. "Some women might think they aren’t getting pregnant because they don’t reach orgasm but it’s not true. Lots of women don’t reach orgasm through intercourse but have babies.”

Being underweight or overweight affects fertility FACT

Cut alcohol if you’re trying for a baby FACT

“We spend more time sitting down than exercising and being overweight massively impacts on fertility because it causes hormonal imbalances and problems with ovulation. "Equally, if you’re underweight your body knows it’s not in a good place to reproduce so it could also stop ovulating. A BMI range of 20 to 25 is optimum for getting pregnant. Prepare by having a varied diet, regular exercise and a healthy weight.”

“Cutting down is advisable. Sometimes it’s difficult to relax if you’re trying to conceive, so chill out and drink within the recommended limit of 14 units per week. "Alcohol gets through to the testicles, and sperm need to swim a long way, so it helps if they’re sober.”

Elevate your legs after sex to get pregnant FICTION “Semen carries sperm to the cervix but once it’s in there, crossing or elevating your legs doesn’t increase your chances of conceiving. "After ejaculation, semen is no longer needed. Relaxation has nothing to do with reproduction either, so lying still after sex also makes no difference to conception.”

The best time to conceive is when you’re in the mood FACT “There’s some evidence suggesting that if you’re in the mood for sex, you’re more likely to get pregnant. Arousal changes a easy parenting

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During times of extreme stress, periods sometimes stop because it is your body’s way of saying this isn’t the right time to conceive. "It can take months to get pregnant, which is perfectly normal, so try to stay calm.”

Tight underpants cause lower sperm count FACT

Stopping smoking boosts fertility FACT

“Sperm are best produced in the cool, and a woman’s eggs like to be kept warm. That’s why ovaries are inside the body and testicles are outside. "The ideal temperature for sperm is 35°C, so if you want to maximise sperm count, wear loose boxers and take cool baths. There’s lots of evidence to suggest men who work outside have higher sperm counts than those with a desk job.”

“Carbon monoxide reduces the oxygen supply to a woman’s eggs and rots them. Women smokers do get pregnant but it’s likely they had higher fertility in the first place. "You’ll see an almost instant boost in fertility if you quit. Smoking cuts the blood flow to the uterus and lowers sperm count and its quality.”

You’re more likely to conceive when you stop stressing FACT “Stress has a negative effect on fertility. If you’re stressed because you don’t conceive straight away, sex becomes a duty. "Stress affects desire and if the desire isn’t there, you’ll have sex less regularly.

About Dr Bart Kuczera

Dr Bart Kuczera has worked in Ireland for many years as a senior medical consultant in fertility treatment. His special interests in infertility are premature ovarian aging, and psychosomatic fertility. www.beaconcarefertility.ie

15/02/2019 16:00

Pregnancy

Don’t Sweat it

Whether you’re working out or curling up on the couch, these maternity wear options will keep cool and comfy

1 Emma Maternity Pants €75 @ Isabella Oliver 2 The Maternity Active Vest €79 @ Isabella Oliver 3 The Maternity Lounge Hoodie €95 @ Isabella Oliver

4 Outsole chunky trainer blush €18 @ Penneys 5 New Balance 247 - Grey Yellow €115 @ Littlewoods Ireland 6 Nike M2k Tekno €130 @ Littlewoods Ireland

7 2PK black legging €19.99 sd710 black crop mama top €25.99 @ Mothercare 8 Dark Wash Jean €32.99 @ Mothercare

9 Blk Crew Neck Tee €12.99 @ Mothercare 10 Maternity Grey Brushed Tie Joggers €26 @ Dorothy Perkins 18

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Pregnancy

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Pregnancy

Cool

c i h c d n a You don’t have to forgo your style when your bump starts to show – feast your eyes on this beautiful maternity clothing

1 Maternity Grey Stripe Nursing Dress €35 @ Dorothy Perkins

2 Maternity Multi Colour Stripe Skater Dress €52 @ Dorothy Perkins 3 Connie Dress €179 @ Isabella Oliver 4 Evie Tie Top €105 @ Isabella Oliver 5 Red maternity jeans €31 @ Next 6 Stripe maternity jumpsuit €39 @ Next 7 Natural large baby stuff shopper €19.50 @ Next 8 Maternity white button through shirt €25 @ Next

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Precious beginnings

Pregnancy health:

head to toe

Are you pregnant and wondering what you can do to keep yourself and baby as healthy as possible? This top to toe pregnancy health guide from Elsje du Toit will help to get you started

o you found out you’re expecting and the well wishes are streaming in from everywhere. Well, congratulations! It’s then when you realise you’re responsible for this tiny human growing inside of you: What you’re eating, it’s eating. What you’re doing, your little one’s doing. This might make you feel a bit anxious. But do not be worried. Here is everything you need to know and do to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy so that you can hold your perfectly healthy baby in your arms a few months from now.

Appointments and screenings

“Antenatal care is the care and help you receive from health professionals during the course of your pregnancy,” the HSE says. So what should you do if you find out you’re pregnant. “You should get in touch with your GP or midwife to get information on the services and support that are easy parenting

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available and to organise antenatal care.” According to the HSE this includes: • Antenatal appointments – Regular health appointments with your midwife or doctor to check your health and the development of your baby. • Antenatal screening – Tests that assess whether your unborn baby is at risk of certain conditions or abnormalities. • Antenatal classes – Classes and workshops that prepare you and your partner for the birth of your baby.

Exercise

Social media is swarmed with expecting mums sweating it out. Sometimes you might think to yourself that whatever they’re doing can’t be good for the baby. Although there are a few positions, movements and types of sports to avoid, it is a good idea to keep active during your pregnancy. “It will help you to adapt to your changing shape and weight gain and also help you to get back into shape after birth,” the HSE says. You can continue your normal fitness routine for as long as you feel comfortable. “However, you should not exhaust yourself and you may need to slow down as your pregnancy progresses. “If you were not active before your pregnancy, you should not suddenly take up a strenuous exercise programme.”

If you’re only starting exercise now, start with something easy that’ll make your heart race only a bit, like 15 minutes’ of continuous walking, three times a week. You can gradually increase it to a maximum of 30-minutes sessions, four times a week. Activities to avoid when you’re pregnant include: • Any contact sports, like kickboxing, judo or karate • Horse riding, downhill skiing, cycling and any other sport with a risk of falling. • Scuba diving, because the baby is not protected against decompression sickness and gas embolism • Exercise at heights over 2 500 metres if you’re not acclimatised, because of the risk of mountain sickness. • After 16 weeks, also avoid lying on your back, because your bump can press on big blood vessels and make you feel dizzy.

Avoid smoking, and drinking alcohol

During pregnancy, everything you put into your body, you put into your unborn baby’s body. So whenever you drink alcohol or smoke while pregnant, your tiny baby does the same. Women who are pregnant should avoid drinking alcohol. According to Alcohol Actoin Ireland, alcohol consumption can lead to disorders in how the brain develops 21

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Pregnancy

in the womb as the placenta does not act as a barrier to alcohol. There are no known health benefits from drinking alcohol during pregnancy. Smoking should also be avoided in pregnancy. Whenever you smoke, it restricts the essential axygen supply to your baby and increases the risk of it being born underweight or too early. These risks will be reduced if you stop smoking during pregnancy, (because) as soon as you stop smoking the carbon monoxide and chemicals clear from your body and your oxygen levels return to normal. You and your baby benefit immediately.

Diet

Now that you’re expecting, you need to include lots of nutrients in your diet to make sure your baby can grow and be healthy herself. Therefore you should make sure to include food from the four main groups. Take a look at the HSE food pyramid on the bottom right to get an idea of how much of the following food groups you need every day. • Carbohydrates (like bread, pasta, potatoes) • Fruit and veggies (at least five a day) • Protein (like meat, poultry, pulses and eggs) • Dairy (like milk, cheese and yoghurt) Also be sure to drink plenty of water and fruit juice as this can help to prevent constipation and nausea.

spine is developing. • Vitamin D – This helps keeping your bones strong and help with the development of your baby’s bones. According to the HSE this is especially important for women at risk of vitamin D deficiency, which includes anyone with a South Asian, African, Caribbean or Middle Eastern family origin, those who stay indoors a lot, those who usually cover up their skin when they go outdoors, or those with a diet particularly low in vitamin-D-rich foods (like oil-rich fish, eggs, meat and breakfast cereals).

Sex

It is safe to have sex during pregnancy. The HSE says, “it is normal for your sex drive to change through your pregnancy and you may want to talk to your partner about this.” There are however a few reasons why you shouldn't have sex, which include bleeding, preterm labour, if your waters have broken or sexually transmitted infections (you and your partner.) Although it’s safe, it may not be easy to have sex later on in your pregnancy. So you and your partner may have to find different positions that are more comfortable for you both.

Vaccinations

Pregnancy vaccinations are a simple and effective way of protecting you and your baby from serious diseases. All pregnant women need to get vaccinated against seasonal flu and whooping cough during each pregnancy. • Whooping cough vaccine – Women should get whooping cough vaccine during each pregnancy. The expecting mum’s immunity to whooping cough decreases during pregnancy and is unlikely to protect the baby. This vaccination is recommended between 16 and 36 weeks of pregnancy. • Flu vaccine – Getting vaccinated against seasonal flu is important because pregnant women are at increased risk for serious complications from the flu. This vaccination during pregnancy provides immunity against influenza infection to babies in the first six months of life. Visit immunisation.ie for up to date information about vaccines.

Go to page 30 to find out the foods and drinks you need to avoid during pregnancy.

It’s also wise to take a pregnancy supplement that’ll help you get enough of the following: • Folic acid – It can help to reduce the risk of problems developing with your baby’s spine and brain (neural tube defects), such as spina bifida. The Department of Health recommends that all women trying to get pregnant should take a daily folic acid supplement of 400 micrograms a day. This should continue for the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, while your baby’s 22

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Precious Beginnings

Once upon a time… We’re often told about the importance of a routine to help children get to sleep, but what are the benefits of a bedtime story? Emily Elphinstone finds out

Bonding benefits Reading a bedtime story aloud with your child creates a special period of shared attention, which is great for reinforcing the bond you share. As well as the comfort of listening to the sound of your voice, your little one (and you) can enjoy the comfort of snuggling up together to look at the pictures, and you have the shared experience of discovering the stories together.

Good for development Reading a bedtime story is good for far more than reading practice, so it’s never too early to introduce a bedtime story to your child. Story reading helps in the development of your baby’s oral communication skills, listening abilities, memory, and language recognition skills. It is a good way to strengthen her vocabulary and different sentence structures from a very early age.

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By listening to stories, children learn about vocabulary and sentence structure, which can support language development. In fact, studies have shown that children who are read to at an early age typically have better language scores later in life. Reading a bedtime story together also promotes motor development, as children learn to turn the page with their thumb and forefinger, and their memory. It also improves their emotional and social development.

It’s good for attention You might hear time and again that children of this generation have short attention spans, but building the routine of sitting down for a bedtime story is a great way to combat this – just sit back together, relax, and let the world of the story take you on an adventure. You might be surprised how good your

little one is at sitting still when they’re desperately waiting to find out what will happen next.

Top Tip As you sense those eyes beginning to droop, tone down any character voices and relax into a slower and more monotone voice, to help your child drift off. Over time you’ll learn which books help your child to switch off, and which they engage in a little too much.

Reading builds imagination With so much visual stimulation available on TV and computers, it’s more important than ever to give your child opportunity to stimulate their easy parenting

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Precious beginnings

Top Tip On a budget? Make use of your local library, encourage friends and family to give books for birthdays or other occasions, and share books with other parents. Also, don’t worry about reading the same story again and again. Babies love, and learn from repetition. imagination through reading, play, and telling stories.

Life lessons As your baby grows, she is also learning about right and wrong, and how to behave, drawing inspiration from the people around her, and what she sees and hears. Reading time is a great way to subtly teach your child important life lessons, building her personality, and her knowledge about the world. Reading is also a great way to start a conversation about certain topics, from

going to the dentist, to making friends or dealing with bereavement in an age-appropriate way.

Wind down Along with a bath, and baby massage for smaller children, a bedtime story is a great way to wind down and prepare for sleep. Even if your little one is overstimulated, reading a story will help her to let go of any anxieties, and to relax. Building a bedtime routine which includes a bedtime story, will help your child recognise when it’s time to go to sleep just as much as having a set bedtime.

Reading introduces a habit for life If your child’s day ends with a bedtime story, this will quickly become a habit they can’t live without. For those of you with a love of reading, you’ll understand just what a gift this can be.

Top Tip As you read, make your baby look and answer questions to promote social development and thinking skills.

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When Should We Start Reading A Bedtime Story? It is never too early to introduce your baby to the world of stories. In fact, you can start practising reading aloud while you’re pregnant, as babies can recognise their mother’s voice in the womb. Using different emotions and expressive sounds while reading a story encourages social and emotional development in babies even before they can talk themselves, and even before babies can identify the pictures, they will still be attracted to different patterns and contrasting colours in picture books, while their vision develops.

What types of stories are best? Short stories with colourful pictures are great for keeping children engaged. You might even enjoy books with different textures, shapes, or pop up elements. For smaller babies, look out for cloth or card books which won’t be damaged by little hands and mouths. It’s also fun to choose books which relate to your child’s current stage, such as learning to use a potty, making friends in pre-school, or going on an aeroplane for the first time. If you’re not sure, ask other parents for recommendations, read online reviews, or talk to the staff in your local bookshop or library. Most people are more than happy to share their favourites.

15/02/2019 16:15

Building Resilience In Kids

It’s totally natural for parents to want to protect their children from all forms of negativity. But as Arlene Harris explores if we want them to become emotionally strong, we must develop their resilience

here was a time when the word snowflake merely depicted a lone piece of snow gently falling from

Easily offended

Margaret O’Grady agrees and says she cannot understand why her grandchildren seem to be upset by ‘the slightest thing’. the sky. “I have 10 grandchildren and while the These days, the term is more often than older ones, who are now young adults, not derogatory and is bandied around on a seem fairly grounded, some of the younger daily basis to describe certain sectors of the ones seem to take offence at the whole younger generation, who many see as world and literally everything upsets them,” being as fragile, gentle and as easily says the Dublin woman. “My daughter has crushed as a flake of snow. three children and I really worry in When our grandparents were young, they particular, about how her two teenage had to deal with war, food rations and daughters are going to manage in life as discomfort far beyond most of our they are always crying and comprehensions. Our parents had slamming doors and it better as have our Mum's Tip shouting about how generation, but with "I'm a strong believer in things are so unfair. the abundance of emotional first aid. It's important “Obviously I love all food, comfort and to listen to our children and let them know that we take their my grandchildren to bits material possessions problems seriously." and want them to have a available in the world Jane nice life, but not today, many believe that everything is going to be youngsters have no resilience perfect all the time and they need to learn and are unable to cope with any of the to deal with this rather than having a realities of life. 78

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tantrum when things don’t go to plan. I have had words with my daughter about how she is bringing up her children and while she argued with me in the beginning, I think she is now regretting being so accommodating to the girls.”

Is it too late? Indeed daughter, Ann Marie, says she can see where her mother “is coming from”, but at this point feels it’s too late to make any changes. “I know I am soft and always wanted my kids to have everything,” says the 44 year old. “I am a single parent and felt it was down to me to make sure my children had the perfect childhood – so I know I took on way more than I should have, I didn’t make them do jobs around the house, I always stood up for them regardless of whether they were right or wrong and if something upset them, I would go out of my way to make things better, even if it meant me missing out on something or going broke. easy parenting

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Family

“I thought it would make them happier but, like my Mam says, it seems to have had the opposite effect and my 13 and 14 year old girls don’t seem to be able to cope with anything at all. They’re never happy unless they have got something new and genuinely seem to expect their lives to be totally perfect all the time. I actually don’t know what to do with them at this point as I’m worried that when they leave home (if they ever do), they won’t be able to do a thing for themselves and although I have tried to teach them how to make a meal, put on a wash or even fill out a form, they just don’t want to know.”

Instilling resilience is essential Child psychologist, Peadar Maxwell says building resilience in our children is one of the fundamental strengths we, as parents, need to establish. “Resiliency is the very important set of skills we use to get over the bumps on the road of life,” he says. “It’s how we cope with ups and downs and the upsets along the way such as having to separate from our parents, losing a friend, or finding something difficult. Resilient children recognise and accept feelings, are able to express them in appropriate ways and face and resolve difficult situations as well as cope with stressful or upsetting scenarios. “Parents don’t have to do anything magical to encourage and strengthen their children’s resiliency. They simply have to help them to recognise their own feelings and the feelings of others as this teaches them to name and manage emotions. Also we should allow and encourage the sharing of positive and negative feelings and teach how to do that in an appropriate way – by not dwelling too much on upsets, allowing anger to develop and to read stories which deal with situations where feelings are managed.”

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Social media doesn't help matters Ann Marie O’Grady believes that social media has also been a huge influence on how ‘unprepared’ her daughters are for life. “The girls have had phones since they were 10 and although I tried to keep them off social media, when all their friends were at it, I didn’t want them to be left out,” she says. “But I know all this business with ‘likes’ and ‘shares’ and people posting photos of what great lives they have has always brought the girls down as they compare themselves with others all the time. “There are also lots of stupid news sites on their feeds and literally every day I will find one of them in tears over some dramatic story they have seen online – I don’t even know if these stories are true as you don’t hear them anywhere else. But they definitely affect the girls moods and I think if they were out playing with friends like we were at their age, they would be much happier.”

Information overload? Peadar Maxwell agrees. “The world is wider for children today and more influenced by people other than their parents and family,” he says. “More children are out of the home sooner and for longer each week and the availability of screens everywhere means they are exposed to much more information at a younger age. Society has changed and we adults are struggling to keep up – a lot is expected of our children in a fast changing era. “But parents can help their children develop a positive outlook by encouraging optimism, curiosity and contentment. Encouraging an open mind and modelling contentment teaches our children and reminds us, how we can be mindful and happy about what we have rather than always focusing on what we want but don’t have. Developing coping skills and dealing with negative feelings is a key part of being a resilient adult so parents should

teach and model that skill to children. “The road of life can be bumpy but we can teach our children simple life-skills to manage those bumps and maybe become even more strong and skilled along the way.”

How to help your child become resilient: • Explain to children them that many emotions pass quickly. • Calmly assist and prompt problem solving and help children learn to resolve negative feelings on their own (this means hanging back rather than leaving them off to deal with big negative feelings). • Teach children how to challenge an upsetting situation or person and check back with them about how it went. • Every child will have to deal with some stressful event such as a change of house or school or separation from a parent or friend. By managing these events well the adults in a child’s life are teaching him that yes, bad things can happen but that you can cope and things will improve.

15/02/2019 16:33

Winter

In the kitchen

Warmers Try these two comforting dishes from Jolene Cox

Beef goulash The hearty smell of a beef goulash wafting through the house, simmering away in its cast iron pot or slow cooker, is enough to make it a family favourite in any home. For a traditional Hungarian dish, Beef goulash is the perfect match for our Irish climate. On a wet blustery day a wholesome recipe like this erases the worries of school or work, making them a distant memory. It has magic of thawing you out while warming you up and giving you the tiniest little hug. To me that’s what home cooking is all about. Ingredients Serves 4 500g of stewing beef pieces, remove all visible fat 1tsp olive oil 1tbsp plain flour 1 large onion, chopped 2 garlic cloves, minced 3 large beef tomatoes, diced 1 red pepper, thinly sliced 2tbsp tomato puree 1tbsp sweet paprika 94

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½tbsp of smoked paprika 300ml of beef stock made from one stock cube 1 small bunch of flat leaf parsley, chopped 2tbsp crème fraiche to finish off 1 Heat a teaspoon of olive oil in a heavy-based saucepan, or a casserole dish, with a lid 2 Sprinkle the beef with the flour and brown well in a pan over a medium heat. 3 When it's browned, take out with a slotted spoon and leave to one side in a covered dish while you chop your onion, tomatoes and red pepper. 4 Fry all the veggies with the garlic until softened. Add in the tomato puree and paprika, and give a good mix. 5 Finally add your beef back in and pour over the beef stock. 6 Cover with the lid and cook on the hob on a gentle heat for about three and a half hours. 7 Stir in your chopped parsley. Add a good dollop of crème fraiche before serving with rice. This dish is slow cooker friendly, add Crème fraiche at the end of slow cooking.

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In the kitchen

Satay chicken Chicken satay is one of my all-time favourite dishes. I’ve re-written this recipe so many times; I’ve cooked it and practiced it over and over again. Tweaking it, to taste just enough subtle spice while getting that fresh crunchy peanut sauce. I think I’ve finally mastered it with this recipe making it as close to a Chinese restaurant you can get. You can add in some pineapple, green pepper or mushrooms if you want to up the veggie intake, but to be honest, I like it as it is and served with stir fried vegetables on the side. Ingredients Serves 4 4 chicken breasts 1tbsp of sesame oil 1 onion, chopped 2 garlic cloves, crushed 1cm cube of fresh ginger, grated 2tbsp mild curry powder (hot curry powder if you like it spicy) 1tbsp soy sauce 3tbsp sweet chili sauce ½tsp chili powder 3tbsp crunchy peanut butter 150ml water 1 Preheat oven to 180°C/gas mark 4. 2 Heat the sesame oil over a medium heat in a wok. 3 Add the chopped chicken breasts and fry for around 15 minutes until cooked, remove and leave to one side. Add the chopped onion and fry until soft. 4 Chuck in your crushed garlic cloves and grated ginger, and fry for a minute. 5 Stir in the curry powder and let it cook for another minute (the smell will be amazing!) 6 Add in the soy sauce. Finally, mix in the sweet chili sauce, chili powder and peanut butter, and stir. 7 Pour over the water to loosen the whole recipe, then blend it all with a hand blender. 8 Add the cooked chicken back in to the sauce, and give a good stir and season with a little salt and pepper. Serve with rice. easy parenting

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About Jolene Jolene started out as a live-in nanny over 17 years ago feeding the families of Dublin wholesome tasty food on a budget. Her passions involve developing and creating easy, healthy, tasty recipes for the whole family. www.oneyummymummy.com 95

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Crafts & Activities

Add some colour to your day with this fun colour burst experiment from Dr Naomi Lavelle

YOU WILL NEED: • • • •

Water A jar or glass Sunflower (or vegetable) oil Food colouring (and a dropper if you have one)

WHAT TO DO: 1 Fill the jar two-thirds full with water. 2 Carefully fill the rest of the jar with the sunflower oil; you may need to let this settle for a few minutes until the oil layer sits on top of the water layer.

3 Now for the fun bit… add some food colouring to the top of the oil layer, a few drops at a time.

4 Watch what happens. When the food colouring passes

through the water layer it expands into streaks, creating colour bursts in the jar. (Depending on the brand of food colouring, it may sit first between the two layers.)

THE SCIENCE BIT: With this colourful experiment children can learn about density and how some materials mix together, and some don’t. Firstly, the water and oil don’t mix together, they stay as separate layers, with the oil sitting on top of the water. That is because oil is said to be less dense than water. Secondly, the food colouring does not mix with (or dissolve in) the oil. So the coloured drops will fall through the oil layer without any changes. However, the food colouring does dissolve in water, this causes the colour to diffuse out into the water as the drops fall to the bottom of the glass, giving that lovely fireworks type display. 102

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the expert team

NINE PAGES OF EXPERT ADVICE FROM OUR EXPERT PANEL 4

TRACY DONEGAN

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Treating UTIs in pregnancy and when to expect to feel baby kicking ASK THE MIDWIFE

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DR SARA O’BYRNE

YOU ASKED ABOUT:

What to do if your partner stonewalls you

Encouraging a 16-month-old to eat more foods

Gentle exercise to help reduce stress and anxiety

Helping a child to overcome excessive worrying

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NUTRITION AND DIET

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DR JAMES RYAN

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Other routes to try before IVF

Helping a four-year-old to develop fine motor skills for starting school

What to consider before choosing crèche

Helping baby to fall asleep by herself

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