The Fauxnix A Student Publication of the Yeshivah of Flatbush Joel Braverman High School • 1609 Avenue J, Brooklyn, New York • Vol 58, Issue 6 • Happy Purim 2024 / 5783
Beyda goes to Brazil, Tavil takes over By Nitza Hanan Features Editor
Rabbi Beyda will be leaving Yeshivah of Flatbush in order to pursue a new job starting next year. Rabbi Beyda will be joining the Brazilians starting September 2024 as their new rosh yeshivah. There have been behind-the-scenes talks of the move for four years; however, Beyda confirmed his decision last year after the Brazilians’ visit. After the Brazilians came, Rabbi Beyda was so inspired by their fun and unique spirit that he just couldn’t give up the opportunity. “They really know how to have fun, and that’s definitely something I feel is lacking here,” Rabbi Beyda explained. To prepare for the move, Rabbi Beyda chose to take Spanish instead of Coding. However, like many, he was shocked when the Brazils arrived and were speaking Portuguese. Rabbi Beyda recalls the first meeting: “The moment they arrived
I greeted them with ‘¡Hola! ¿Como estas?’ They looked at me like I had tres cabezas (three heads).” Thankfully, Ezra Harari, Flatbush’s designated Portuguese tutor, has been meeting with Rabbi Beyda twice a week since then to teach him how to communicate. Harari says that “Rabbi Beyda is really trying, but I don’t know if twice a week is enough. I can definitely see some minor improvements though.” Those on Sophomore Seminar earlier this month were lucky enough to hear a preview of Rabbi Beyda’s Portuguese when he announced, “Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear.” Meanwhile, Yeshivah of Flatbush has appointed a new rosh yeshivah, Mr. Mauricio Tavil! Rabbi Galpert exclaimed, “If the Brazilians want to take our principal, we will make a Brazilian into our principal!” Mr. Maurcio is ecstatic to have this
Rabbi Beyda's favorite extracurricular activity in Brazil is Carnival
role and is ready to implement many new changes to better the school. One of his major changes is the school’s hours. “We will be starting school at 2 am, and ending at 8 am,” he said. He believes that having classes only in the mornings will ensure students are fully engaged and
awake for their classes because “they have all day to sleep.” After spending a year as the boys’ SAFE teacher, Mr. Mauricio is aware of their needs, so instead of Crawford’s, Hunan will be opening in school.
Elmann kicked off valedictorian YOF opens mental ballot for being Canadian health petting zoo By Yvette Dweck Sophomore Editor
By Jacqueline Halabi Editor-in-Chief
SGO dictator Max Elmann has just been disqualified from consideration for valedictorian due to his recently revealed Canadian nationality. As many already know, last year, the school administration modified the vale-
In This Issue Faculty: Page 2 D’var Torah: Page 4 Ask Merle: Page 6
dictorian-appointing process from the student with the highest GPA to whoever is more widely known in school. The teachers first nominate their favorite students, and then the students vote for their closest friends. After Elmann was suggested by SAFE teacher Mr. Tavil, Rabbi Beyda shot the
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Entertainment: Rabbi Galpert teaches opera Page 5
Feeling stressed, anxious, or nervous? Visit the school’s new state-of-the-art emotional comfort petting zoo, officially known as the YOF Triangle Capital Mental Health Petting Zoo Sponsored By The Cohen Family With Special Thanks To The Tawil Family Corp. “I walked out of my office and the first thing I saw was a bunch of students stressing over a test,” said Ms. Yvette Beyda, head of testing accommodations. “The second thing I saw was a cockroach. That’s when I thought of this brilliant idea.” So many students have been in need of a calming and relaxing place lately. With all the test weeks, APs, and Regents that are approaching, the students
Fashion: Rabbi Besser's new fragance Page 7
at the Yeshivah of Flatbush were left with minimal ways to cope with their anxiety. When asked about the intense stress at Flatbush, freshman Joseph Dweck said, “There’s always someplace to be and something to do. I wish I could just get a minute to, I don’t know, pet an animal.” Immediately after seeing, hearing, and understanding what students were going through, Rabbi Galpert approached Rabbi Joey Mizrachi. “I mean, I’m the best fisherman there is and the director of the Camp David Animal Room, of course Rabbi Galpert came to me to help him with our new petting zoo,” said Rabbi Miz. Located on the third floor of the old building, the YOF Triangle Capital Mental Health Petting Zoo Sponsored By The Cohen Family With Special Thanks To
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Sports: Climb the scaffolding in gym class Page 8 phoenix@flatbush.org | 1