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W ELLN E SS N WELLNESS CONNECTION CONNECTION September 2022 August 2022 Issue Two Issue One

RAINBOW’S END CHRISTOPHER’S STORY THE CRISIS HOTLINE MEN’S SECOND National Alliance on Mental Illness of the Wood River Valley CHANCE LIVING

•JENNA’S Supporting our community through offerings of free support groups for adults, adolescents, families, and STORY survivors of suicide loss. • Educating our community through free classes and trainings for families and individuals. • Advocating for equity and accessibility to mental health services at systemic levels.

R E C OV E RY

“I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for the help I got from NAMI. Before I got involved with NAMI, I had feelings of solitude and a persistent dislike for the world I was put in. I never thought about my future, I lived in the moment. Being part of a Hispanic household, there is a barrierTHERE between our culture and mental health. ‘If you don’t think aboutISit, it’ll go away.’ That’s what I would get if I mentionedHOPE there was a feeling of loneliness, sadness and unspeakable voices in my head. Growing up in that environment I grew up with the mindset of shutting things out. If help was offered, I wouldn’t take it. Why would I try to open up again just to be shut out? That’s how I would think of it. I didn’t have a safe place available to me if I wanted to say something. Home wasn’t an option, my old school wasn’t an option either. There were many days of me arriving late every day to avoid the crowded hallways. I would fake a sickness just so I had an excuse not to go. I continued to try and isolate myself from everyone and everything. These feelings started when I was in fifth grade. The longer I kept it in, the worse this feeling grew. I went to Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Mental Health has self-harm as a way of coping and had thoughts of suicide. I just become more prevalent than ever before. With one-inwanted to relieve myself. I drowned myself in school work and adults, and one-in-four children experiencing a Mental Welcome to the premier issue of Wellness Connection,five a collaboration internships just to be away from home and as a distraction. I HealthOur Condition of Rainbow’s End Recovery Center and the Crisis Hotline. goal in any given year, it is time for more than needed something else to think about, I didn’t want to stay just awareness, but acceptance and understanding. Everyone to provide timely information on mental health issues, such as addiction, stuck in myishead. plays a part in the acceptance depression, grief, and trauma. hope to shed light on and encourage One day the Bloom Youth Project hadWe a workshop. It was of Mental Health within their discussion of mental illness, and recovery. will present stories of hope and about mental health. I wasaddiction, uncomfortable with theWe subject community. We invite you encouragement as well as essays on related topics. This is just a start. We welcome your already but went through it. That’s where I met Brittany to become a mental health feedback willhave be seeking submissions from our readers: Shipley. Iand never felt a connection with someone before.wellness23@gmail.com advocate, reach out and learn I felt moved and inspired that I had to find a way to talk to about how you can get involved her again. After the workshop, I waited till I could talk to her ainbow’s End Recovery set out staffed by good-hearted souls with little with NAMI-WRV or the 5B in the hallway, I asked for a hug and the sense of security and Suicide Prevention Alliance to be different than the traditional or no experience so there were some love was so strong. When I got into high school I got involved and client make had a lasting impactstory, used a substance use disorder treatment facility and crashes along the way. Each a different in Blue Birds and grew close with Brittany. Bluebumps Birds is a club within your community my friends and family had attended. A The clinical director and one full-time different drug, but in thetoday! end, each was during lunch at Wood River. I was surrounded by others that Email info@namiwrv.org to substance abuse counselor and an energy counselor bore the burden of treating the a person in need of unconditional love had similar experiences and feelings. Blue Birds is my safe make your mark! healer potential of the with other clients, but and because we were new, there and care. Once they realized they were place.raved I wasabout able tothe make connections people property in Challis on the Salmon River as was only a handful at a time. accepted as a whole person and no make some friends. I wish I knew about it when I was younger the perfect place for people to heal. So it longer identified by their drug use, they and needed a place to be. I now think about my future, I want Going forward, we were able to recruit began. could begin to heal. They would open to major in psychology and take what I have learned and my more and more qualified staff. We up to each other, counselors, and group experiences to help others. I want others to know they’re not The easy part was converting the bed-andworked on honing the curriculum and alone and there are resources to help them like NAMI.” members realizing they were not unique breakfast facility into client rooms. The schedule to accommodate the needs or alone. hard part was the bureaucratic hoops. of the clients and the requirements of -Blue Bird Program Participant The hardest part was finding employees. accrediting agencies. We saw more clients We provided community experiences, and were building a reputation for quality such as the Fourth of July celebrations, When we opened our doors, we were care.

THERE IS HELP

THE CRISIS HOTLINE

he Crisis Hotline (TCH) is an Idaho nonprofit organization that has been serving our community since 1987, with a mission of “Enhancing the social and emotional well-being of our local community by providing trusted crisis intervention and referral services on a 24-hour-a-day basis with trained volunteers, together with wellness education and outreach programs. The primary purpose of TCH is to support people experiencing mental health crises and do so with a caring approach. The phone lines are staffed by trained volunteer responders and are available 24 hours per day at 208-788-3596. TCH also has a bilingual support line at 208-578-4114. Currently, TCH handles over 1,000 calls per year on all its lines and has helped over 15,000 people in its 35-year history. TCH provides confidential crisis intervention–not counseling–on our phone lines; the volunteer responders offer information on community services relevant to the caller’s crisis and provide a nonjudgmental outlet. Family members are also welcome and do call TCH for help in a crisis. The goal of the call is to listen to the caller, be present with them and assist them through the moment to a space where they feel safe, confident and acknowledged. Confidentiality is paramount. TCH volunteers are trained to protect everyone’s identity. No personal information is taken or shared during these calls except gender, age, general location, and the reason for the call.

(This information is used to develop better training for our volunteers.) In addition to the volunteer responders who staff the phones, TCH also uses volunteers for community outreach, fundraising events, and educating people about mental health, the signs of suicide and proper crisis intervention. TCH sponsors “My Life Matters,” which was developed in 2014 through a collaboration of TCH, mental health professionals and staff of the Blaine County School District as a response to a high rate of suicides between 2010 and 2014, several of whom were under 25 years of age. The curriculum is focused on raising awareness of the warning signs and preventing teen suicides. The response was positive, with 95% of the students saying the information was important and helpful. In addition to “My Life Matters,” TCH also introduced Neighbors Helping Neighbors at the onset of COVID in 2020. NHN was the hotline with “boots on;” we took the resources into the community where the help was needed the most, in particular within the Hispanic demographic. NHN is a great program that has helped to build cultural bridges in our community. All the work TCH can do is because of the volunteers and, of course, the many donations and grants received from foundations, businesses and individuals. Many thanks to Wood River Womens Foundation, SPUR Foundation, 5B Engine Works, Joan Leidy Foundation, Idaho Community Foundation, Heinz Family Foundation, Building Materials

Thrift, Mountain West Bank, First Federal Bank and so many others; we are beyond grateful! TCH is always looking for volunteers to help with its mission. Special skills such as marketing, website design and maintenance or fundraising experience are essential to supporting our mission. If you have interest in learning more about the organization and/ or volunteering, please contact TCH through its website www.thecrisishotline.org or email info@thecrisishotline.org

SUICIDE & CR

AN INTERVIEW WITH EMMA BENOIT Claudia Mohr: I was at the Sun Valley screening of your documentary My Ascension last year at The Opera House that was sponsored by NAMI and The Crisis Hotline. It was very moving, a must see film for anyone who has ever dealt with mental health issues and their families and community. During the question and answer I asked you if you had ever considered being a therapist because you are so intuitive and compassionate. Emma Benoit: I do remember that question being asked, and it’s still very true. I am thinking about it. And it is something potentially that will come to fruition in my longterm future. I’m definitely an empath. You read that very clearly. Thank you. Claudia: You have a long future ahead of you. And so much to contribute. How would you direct others to seek help regarding your attempted suicide and the feelings that you experienced leading up to it? There’s a phenomenon in, in psychiatry, that’s called anagnosia. You talked about not knowing you were depressed. And that’s so common in a lot of emotional issues that people have, it’s an inability to recognize the fact that you’re depressed. Emma: Well, I would first say, if you’re unaware that you’re depressed, or you’re confused as to what’s going on with you mentally and emotionally, I would say, please seek help. Even if you don’t know that you’re depressed, or you have a diagnosis or anything like that, if you’re just struggling and have been struggling for I would say more than a week, then reach out for help and find someone to talk to about what it is you’re feeling. Because ultimately, if you sit with those feelings, and you handle it all on your own, I’d learn this kind of the hard way, they won’t just go away, those feelings won’t just go away, they’ll just exacerbate and get bigger and heavier. And they’ll become harder to deal with and cope with. So I think number one piece of advice for anyone who feels like they may be struggling, maybe feeling like you’re depressed but unaware, reach out for help. Find someone you can talk to find someone you trust, someone who’s not going to give you a judgmental tone, someone who’s going to reassure you, and validate you that you’re not crazy. Claudia: I got the feeling that you were always very close to your mother. Many people are afraid to reach out to anyone.

Emma Benoit: I couldn’t agree more. The problem is it’s hard to find that person professionally or personally. I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. I have that preconceived notion surrounding mental health and your feelings. I always thought that feeling things deeply and talking about your feelings and going to a loved one to express how you’re feeling was a sign of weakness. I felt like people who reach out for help people who cry for help people who talk about their feelings are weak people, and I didn’t want to be a part of that group. And I was totally brainwashed into thinking that emotions and feelings are for individuals to handle all on their own. I think that because of that type of mentality, I never felt like I could go to my mother. However, now knowing what I know now, I certainly could have talked to my mom. Absolutely, without a doubt. Not that she would have known exactly what to say or what to do. But I know, a

SUICIDE & CRISIS LIFELINE

THE DATA: URGENT REALITIES In 2020, the U.S. had one death by suicide every 11 minutes. Suicide is a leading cause of death for people aged 10-34 years.

he 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) offers 24/7 call, text and chat access to trained crisis counselors who can help people experiencing a suicidal, substance use and/or mental health crisis, or any other kind of emotional distress. People can also dial 988 if they are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support. The primary goal of the Lifeline is to provide support for people in suicidal crisis or mental health-related distress in the moments they need it most and in a manner that is person-centered. The vast majority of those seeking help from the Lifeline do not require any additional interventions at that moment. Currently, fewer than 2% of Lifeline calls require connection to emergency services like 911. While some safety and health issues may warrant a response from law enforcement and/or emergency medical services (namely when a suicide attempt is in progress), the 988 coordinated response is intended to promote stabilization and care in the least restrictive manner. The Lifeline currently provides live crisis center calling services in English and Spanish and uses Language Line Solutions to provide translation services in over 250 additional languages. Text and chat are currently available in English only.

RISIS LIFELINE hundred percent had I gone to her and expressed how I was feeling and told her that I have thoughts of harming myself, she would have taken it seriously. And she would have just done what she could have done to help me and get me to the next step. Claudia: I’ve heard you say that it was like you were two people. The person you presented to the world and the person who was suffering alone on the inside Emma: Correct that kind of was the scenario that I kind of worked my way up to in life. On the outside I maintained this picture perfect image that people saw of me. I wanted to make sure I was protecting that image because the external validation I would get from peers and strangers, and people in my life was so vital to me. It was almost like a short moment of validation was what made me happy. And it was a distraction at the time for how I was truly feeling inside. It was only on the outside, but definitely not like that on the inside. Claudia Mohr: Yes, and you’re obviously very beautiful. When I was 16 years old, I was too. I know that feeling, getting validation from what you represent on the outside. It’s very easy to do. And it’s very accessible, being popular and outgoing. You almost feel like you’re obligated to be that person for everybody else. Is that how you felt? Emma: Absolutely. It was just a lingering pressure around me, in terms of like, always being this person that everyone thinks of when they think of me. They wanted me to be the person that they wanted me to be. I think there’s a tendency for people that think that, what problems could a beautiful girl possibly have? There’s something called ‘pretty privilege’. People love to assume that people who have attractive looks,

don’t struggle and can’t struggle. And that’s also a part of the stigma that really hindered me from feeling like I would be understood if I reached out for help, because of that fact that there’s this notion that lingers that people who have attractiveness don’t have the right or the space to suffer mentally and emotionally. And I think it’s particularly with women, especially in adolescence when we’re so vulnerable and trying to find out who we are. Claudia: When your brother left for college how did it affect you? When my sister left for college I felt very alone and it changed our family dynamic. Emma: So my brother and I have always been extremely close. He’s the only sibling I have and we have always been super close. And we’ve never really fought. We’ve never had conflict or problems. We’ve never really butted heads. We were always the type of dynamic that I think every parent dreams for their kids to be like, we got along, we did stuff together. And when he moved out of state to go to school, it felt like I lost a piece of me, honestly, because before he was out of the house, anytime I would be in trouble or anything like that my brother would always come to my defense, he would always have my best interest at heart, he would always stand up for me. And be my real protector. And when he moved, I felt like a piece of me had kind of moved away too. Claudia: Did your parents put more of their focus on you? Emma: Definitely. Yeah. It was kind of around the time that they were wanting to focus on me because it was the start of my senior year and things were starting to kind of unfold for me in terms of my future. So they were really putting all of the attention on me at

that time. The pressures of that time in my life, I would say, going to school and getting accepted into a good school did add another layer of expectation on top of me, you know, the baby of the bunch, to go out and get a degree and become a doctor and all these things my brother was pursuing. Claudia: Was your attempt at suicide impulsive? Emma: Yes, mine was very much impulsive. And I think that, that stems back to my brain at the time/ I was 16 years old, I was very, my brain was underdeveloped. And I didn’t really have, I didn’t have the impulse control that I do now at 22. You know, it’s only going to get better, you know, as I get older, the impulse control will be coming. And it definitely wasn’t so that my suicide attempt was totally decision made based on impulse and the culmination of years of undealt with feelings for sure. Yes, absolutely. 100%, I was immediately regretful when I pulled the trigger. And when I heard that it happened. I felt an Instant Regret. And it was so strong, that that’s the only thing I remember feeling in that moment was that feeling of regret. And it was almost like in that it happened, all the thoughts that I wish to serve, immediately came rushing to surface. And I had all the reasons why I wanted to be alive I didn’t want to die. And I was just laying there hoping and trying to fight for my life that I wouldn’t die because I didn’t want to die and have them think that that’s what I wanted. I was just so afraid that if it worked, no one was really going to know that it was not what I wanted. And when I realized in the hospital that I was alive, and that I did make it out of that. It was just the greatest sense of relief and illumination. Continued: Next Page

Emma Benoit Interview Continued

Emma Benoit Claudia: The documentary The Ripple Effect by Kevin Hines is featured on your website. Both of you are helping so many people with your outreach. What effect do you think this had on your family and community? Emma: I would say it greatly affected our entire family Going through this journey, as a family, we learned so much about mental health and how important it is to talk about your feelings, and to talk about the things that you’re thinking about. Our entire family unit was more so positively affected through this rather than negatively in the sense of, we all learned how to go about our mental health in a different way. And that kind of aided each of us in our own ways moving forward in our lives. You know, whenever we start to feel any difficulties, we just know immediately, we need to reach out for help. We need to talk to someone. Claudia: So you were sort of the catalyst in your family for growth. Emma: Yeah, definitely. I would put it that way. And that’s a positive outcome There’s a lot of good outcomes that I hear from people My community really rallied around me. And they have since I started school-based programs that are around mental health, and have since I started a coalition in the community around mental health. So there’s been great, great waves of progress in terms of mental health, in my area. Claudia: What would you say now to your younger self if you could talk to her? Emma: Well, there’s a lot I would tell my younger self, but one of the biggest I feel like I would have told myself is, you don’t have to have everything figured out. You’re just 16. That was the number one

thing that constantly plagued my brain was the fact that I didn’t know what I want to do with my life. I don’t know what career I want to have. I don’t know what path I want to take after graduation. I didn’t know. I don’t know what I wanted to do. And I put so much emphasis and pressure on that one thing that it led me to feeling emotionally unstable, and depressed and undeserving and unworthy. So that’s the number one thing I would tell myself was, you don’t have to know it all. You have time. That’s a part of the journey, you know, that’s a part of life. That’s one thing. And then secondly, I would tell myself, is that mental health is a part of health. It does not belong in a separate category, from our physical health, from our emotional health. Mental health is health. And that’s something I did not know that I didn’t feel. I thought it was a weakness, a fault in people. But it’s not a defect, it’s human, it’s natural. Every individual has feelings,.so it’s the most normal thing. And I just wish that somehow I would have known that it was truly very normal to experience these things. And that mental health is genuinely health. And it needs to be looked at in the same way that we look at the rest of our health, you know, and I wish I would have thought of the scenario that someone told me a couple of weeks ago. So if someone’s laying on the ground, having a heart attack, people aren’t going to go up to them and say, you should have stopped smoking, you should have eaten better, you should have done more. You know, it’s the same thing. If someone’s depressed, they do say, you know, just get out of bed, you know, you can do it, just pull yourself together, just be happy. All of those things are said to someone who’s suffering mentally, but not to someone who’s suffering physically. So it’s just that misalignment. I feel like that really could have made a difference for me, if I would have been on the side of understanding that mental health is our health. And it’s real. It’s an integral system and it affects everything, your physical health, your mental health, your spiritual health, etc.

Claudia: That’s beautifully said, thank you. That’s why we’re all trying to normalize and destigmatize the conversation about mental health. Emma: That has helped everyone in my life. It’s the best it’s ever been. I can say that with full confidence. I have the best relationship with my individuality. My mom, my dad and my brother. We all have great relationships now, which is all that I could ask for. Both my mom and dad have great jobs. They love what they do. We spend a great amount of time together. I was there last night having dinner. So we are all super tight. As I said, this is the best it’s ever been. We’ve all never been this close as a family. So it’s a really, really great feeling. It’s blessing. Claudia: You really are a miracle and a miracle worker. You’ve changed many, many people’s lives. I think you know that, but I want to tell how I feel about what you’re doing. It’s amazing. Emma: I appreciate that. And every time I get feedback like that, it really does, reaffirm and validate that what I’m doing is worthwhile, because it certainly is challenging, as you can imagine. But the reason that I am able to continue doing this is because of that type of feedback. And because of the idea that I am helping people, and I am potentially saving lives. So that’s always the best thing I could hear from someone. So I truly appreciate that. Claudia: Thank you so much Emma for sharing your experience and wisdom with me today. And thank you for sharing with our publication, The Wellness Connection. For those interested in more information about Emma’s foundation, including how to arrange a showing or an interview, make a donation or volunteer, please visit myascension.us Jenna

julie on James

celebrate many birthdays and anniversaries this time of year. pray that I never is forget felt in the picture on the left. Suicide nothow anI isolated event. Now I have the anniversary of my son’s suicide. 4 years and eighteen months ago, I was hopeless and felt just as worthless. Thethat effect ripples through friends, I prayed I wouldn't have to wake up tothe live another day. My counting. I miss my son more than anything. Every second of unresolved trauma throughout my life had become too much. I was every day. I don’t plan to be upset, at any particular time, but it family, associates and acquaintances. at the height of my alcoholism, drinking a fifth a day and in so much happens and this one is a given. My anger surfaces when no one emotional and spiritual pain. Current statistics state that 135 people else acknowledges this anniversary, especially family. I It can be was given a choice and an opportunity eighteen months ago, and quite a lonely day. I would much rather have people talk, laugh, hoping it was a way out. I left for rehab at Rainbows End for every suicide. are impacted Recovery Center in Idaho. thirty four days later and the journey had and remember my son, than worry about upsetting me. Many of only just begun. The last year and a half has been the hardest, his friends get together and reflect on the good timesmost they had. I These people are left with pain and guilt. beautiful, most rewarding, and most peaceful of my life. am fortunate that they are starting to include me. HisI have memory gained aand love and an understanding for not only myself, Here are three stories people have shared. but for those all my photos are all I have. Luckily, through faith, I believe I’ll around see me as well. I am blessed in my professional life to help those still suffering today with their him again. If that was not the case I would not be ableand topersonal face this addiction. I have meaningful and honest connections with the challenge each and every day. people around me today. I am capable of handling even the worst

situation with more love and more grace today. I am a work in progress, with the hope every day to be a better me than I was Resources the day before. I have a beautiful and ever growing and changing relationship with a higher power of my own design and I have moreRecovery blessings and more hope than I could have ever dreamed, Rainbow’s End Center even on my best day 18 months www.rainbowsendrecoverycenter.com | ago. 208 879-2267 I could give even just a glimpse of hope and love I have Men’s Second Chance LivingI wish www.msclhouse.org | the 208 481-0182 discovered on this journey. I continue to do the next right thing,

let go of things I cannot control, and exist for just one day at a The Crisis Hotline www.thecrisishotline.org | 208 788-3596

time. Thankful every day for the opportunity to have lived this life.

12 Step Group Meetings, Mental Health Group Meetings Jenna H. The Sun Club www.sunclub.org Resources NAMI www.nami-wrv.com | 208 481-0686 Rainbow's End Recovery Center The Advocates For Survivors of Violence & Sexual Abuse www.rainbowsendrecoverycenter.com | 208 879-2267 www.theadvocates.org | 208 788-4191

Men’s Second Chance Living www.msclhouse.org | 208 481-0182

The Crisis Hotline www.thecrisishotline.org | 208 788-3596 St. Lukes Mental Health Services www.stlukesonline.org 12 Step Group Meetings, Mental Health Group Meetings 208 788-2134 The Sun Club www.sunclub.org NAMI www.nami-wrv.com | 208 481-0686

The Suicide Hotline | DIAL 988

Advocates For Survivors of Domestic Abuse www.theadvocates.org | 208 788-4191

Publisher Nancy Colletti, Executive Director, Rainbow’s End Recovery Center

St. Lukes Mental Health Services www.stlukesonline.org 208 788-2134

Our Sponsors

The Suicide Hotline | DIAL 988

Tammy Davis, Executive Director, The Crisis Hotline Editor In Chief Claudia Mohr, Manager, The Crisis Hotline

Our Sponsors

Publisher

Editor In Chief