THE THE
W ELLN E SS N WELLNESS CONNECTION CONNECTION October 2022 August 2022 Issue Issue Three One
RAINBOW’S END CHRISTOPHER’S STORY
Freedom Awareness Empowerment R E C OV E RY Transformation THE CRISIS HOTLINE
MEN’S SECOND CHANCE LIVING JENNA’S STORY
THERE IS HOPE
O
THE ADVOCATES
ver the last three decades, The Advocates evolved from providing basic crisis support into an organization that supports people with in-depth services. From safety and shelter, to support and transition, to prevention education, The Advocates provides a comprehensive array of services for victims of abuse. Governed by a Board of Directors that serves without compensation, The Advocates not only works to prevent Welcome to the premier issue of Wellness Connection, a collaboration domestic violence and sexual in allCenter four counties, of Rainbow’s Endassault Recovery and the but Crisis Hotline. Our goal also helps people build safe lives through education, supportive is to provide timely information on mental health issues, such as addiction, services, transitional andtrauma. shelterWe in times depression, housing grief, and hopeof tocrisis. shed light on and encourage According to the National Coalition Against Domestic discussion of mental illness, addiction, and recovery. We will present stories of hope and Violence, one inasevery women experience domestic encouragement well four as essays on will related topics. This is just a start. We welcome your violence and in her lifetime. Because women in our our communities feedback will be seeking submissions from readers: wellness23@gmail.com from all socioeconomic levels have the potential to become victims, The Advocates works diligently to prevent domestic ainbow’s End Recovery set outby providingstaffed byrange good-hearted souls with little abuse, violence and sexual assault a broad to be different than the traditional or noamong experience so there were some of educational programming. Increased awareness substance disorder facilityfamily,bumps Each client had a different story, used a adults anduse youth abouttreatment how to prevent dating and and crashes along the way. my friends and family had attended. A The clinical director and one full-time different sexual violence, as well as how to develop and maintain FREEDOMdrug, but in the end, each was substance abuse counselor and an energy counselor bore the burden of treating the a need of unconditional love healthy relationships, will help put an end to these devastating The shelter is the heart andperson soul ofinour organization. healer raved about the potential of the clients, but becauseShowing we wereupnew, there andThe care. Once they realized they were and pervasive social problems. is the first step and Advocates is here for the property in Challis on the Salmon River as was only a handful at a time. as apets whole person no The Advocates envisions a compassionate community, free entire journey. Adults, theiraccepted children and who need and a safe the perfect place and for people heal. So longer identified by their drug use, they from emotional physicaltoabuse. To it reach our goal, we teach place to stay receive compassionate support at the shelter. Going forward, we were able to recruit people of all ages how to build and maintain healthy, positive began. couldsurvivors begin tobegin heal. the They would open We offer support groups to help healing and more qualified staff. We relationships with peers, families and partners.more We accomplish up to other, counselors, process. When support groups areeach not enough, we offer and group The part education, was converting theresources bed-and-and worked the curriculum and thiseasy through shelter, support.onAllhoning of professional counseling services. We help women, and members realizing theymen were not unique breakfast facility rooms. The schedule to accommodate the needs our services areinto freeclient and confidential. families connect with housing, food, employment, mental and or alone. hardThe partAdvocates was the bureaucratic hoops. pillars of ofoperation: the clients and the requirements of Continued: Next Page has four overarching The hardest part was finding employees. accrediting agencies. We saw more clients We provided community experiences, and were building a reputation for quality such as the Fourth of July celebrations, When we opened our doors, we were care.
N
R
THE ADVOCATES
Continued from page 1
emotional health services, education, childcare, medical care, legal assistance and transportation services. We offer support and guidance throughout each person’s process, whether it is domestic violence, abuse, sexual assault or stalking. Our professional staff answer our helpline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. EMPOWERMENT To ensure that no victim of domestic, dating or sexual violence ever struggles alone, we offer over 30 distinct programs 24 hours a day 365 days a year. We have weekly language classes, computer classes, cooking classes, immigration assistance and much more, all designed to encourage independence and community connection. Smart About Money Economic Empowerment is an educational program designed to improve financial skills and habits, including balancing a checkbook, building a budget, and understanding savings and credit reports. After completing the course, The Advocates offers a 1:1 match for savings up to $2,500. Skills for Success empowers low-income, unemployed or underemployed abuse victims. We teach clients job and life skills to gain successful, long-term employment. The 11- week free program focuses on interview skills, resume development, advocating for yourself in the workplace and more. ACTION We believe that education is the key to ending abuse and creating safer communities. The Advocates’ prevention staff and peer educators teach community members, children, and teens how to build and maintain healthy relationships with their families, peers and
partners. We offer workshops for all ages to stop abuse before it starts. We facilitate classes about healthy relationship components, consent, sexual harassment, healthy boundaries, red flags and more. Every Teen Counts (ETC’s) are paid interns at The Advocates. They are healthy relationship peer educators and influencers who inspire teens to use their voice, stand up, speak out and create positive cultural change. Representing four local high schools, they are leading the charge against emotional and physical abuse in their schools and in their communities. We have a confidential text line just for teens. They can text us for the big things, the little things, and everything in between at 208-795-3455. TRANSFORMATION The Advocates’ transitional housing apartments opened in October 2019. The three-story, 12-unit complex in the heart of Hailey provides an affordable place to live for survivors of abuse, their children and their pets. They are more than just safe, affordable places to live. They are spaces in which people can thrive. Transitional housing is a step between our crisis shelter and permanent housing for those who are working towards independence. Time in traditional housing provides a supportive environment where residents overcome trauma, build community and create a better future for themselves, their children and pets. Together we are saving lives and changing futures. Please reach out to The Advocates any time: 208-788-4191 www.theadvocatesorg.org\ Upcoming event: The Advocates and The Community Library invite you to hear from award winning journalist Rachel Louise Snyder, author of No Visible Bruises; What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us. Please join us on October 27 from 6:00-7:00 p.m. at the Ketchum Community Library in Ketchum. The link to register is below. https:// thecommunitylibrary.libcal.com/event/8928232
When I told my mother I had left my husband, her response was, “Does he beat you?” “No,” I replied. “Then you should go back to him,” she said. Little did she realize there were other types of bruises.
SURVIVOR STORIES
I
SEEKING SAFETY, THE STORY OF A SURVIVOR
didn’t realize what safe really meant until I left my 17-year marriage to seek help with the Advocates. If I had not gone to The Advocates when I did only God knows how much darker my life would have become or if I’d even be here. You see I did have support - I had an amazing job with coworkers I loved, I was a coach for various sports in my community, I was active with my faith in my church, and I have a loving family - two older brothers that were always protective of me and parents that have been married 50+ years. In my 17-year relationship and marriage there were very few people who had any inkling of what went on behind closed doors and it certainly was not my family. I was too ashamed and prideful to ask for help, and as I’ve processed over the years, and with help of The Advocates, I realize that I held the false belief that I deserved how I was treated, treatment that included incidents of strangulation, being struck, being lied to, and, worst of all, being ignored or given tiny morsels of affection. I felt like there was something broken inside of me, something I did wrong and I was doing my penance in an awful marriage because this sort of thing doesn’t happen to someone like me who is college-educated, well-employed, family oriented, prior athlete, success driven. I was so prideful and so lost. I had an image to protect and a reputation at stake. I had heard of The Advocates because at the school I used to teach at, Ms. Darrel came about once a year and gave presentations to the high school students. In nine years of teaching at this high school I probably met her and heard her present 5 or 6 times. It wasn’t even on my radar that “this is for me,” “I need help,” or “I’m in an unhealthy relationship.” I mean, this sort of wretched, dramatic, shameful toxic life doesn’t happen to school teachers. Oh, the embarrassmentwhat would people in the community think if they knew? No, I don’t accept that, not anymore. I don’t really care much anymore what people think. This is my life and these things happened to me and now that I know better, I’ll do better. I wouldn’t have had the courage to say this a few years ago. I’m sure I’m not the only client who has been absolutely raw in those offices with foul language, tears, snot running down her
face, and in utter despair. There were times that I didn’t want to continue on because I had lost my will - I’ll just leave it at that. Those are the front lines that are not beautiful or eloquent. The folks who work as advocates roll their sleeves up and get in the trenches with the awfulness, the evil and the gross, and the utter devastation of lives turned upside down. They are heroes. They provide strength when someone going through the filth of their situation has run out of strength. I was bogged down in the utter failure or perceived failure of my marriage and that I had control in a situation festering in lies, cruelty, and abuse. The women I had the privilege of working with helped me to take my eyes off of the ugly and stop giving my power away. I spent a year in transitional housing after I went to the shelter with my children after my life was threatened one more time. It was the last time! I had access to counseling, weekly meetings, goal setting and accountability, financial advice and assistance with housing, legal assistance, and help with actively digging in to see beauty and start feeling hope once again. I had the courage, after working through my grief and my baggage with The Advocates, to fly away and try something new. I spent two years learning a trade - the art of butchering at the age of 40. It was a bizarre yet serendipitous zig in my life. I would never have considered this move if I had not had the Advocates as part of my story. By having a safe place to live for a year I could rebuild, begin the inner-work and healing process, and start to dream again. My time with The Advocates provided something else, it helped me to also create a “safe” place in my mind. I no longer abused myself. I forgave myself - because ultimately what I learned by looking in the mirror is that I held a lot of anger towards myself for this unhealthy relationship but then choosing to stay in it for so long. We had a saying at the meat plant, “You’re only as good as your last cut.” I love this saying and it comes to mind frequently now. It seems as though this saying was already near to my heart- like deep down I was familiar with it because of the safe space provided by the Advocates to heal and take flight to my new life.
THE ADVOCATES
I
GRATITUDE
n September 2018, I experienced domestic violence. Two good friends came to help me pack up and leave my home while my husband was arrested. I was not sure where to go and they suggested to go to The Advocates in Hailey. After 20 years of marriage, this was not where I ever thought I would end up. I arrived at The Advocates. I was scared, unsure of what I was doing. I met with a woman who was to be my case manager. She treated me with respect and no criticism or judgement. She suggested I go to the Wood River ER, as the violence was attempted strangulation. After I arrived back at The Advocates, I met with the house manager. Again, I was treated compassionately and with respect. My experience at The Advocates wasn’t just being provided a safe place to stay. I worked with my case manager and learned about the various types of abuse; emotional, physical, financial, etc. I had no idea how extensive the circle of violence is. So, I attended every class that The Advocates offered. I had very low self-esteem when I arrived at The Advocates. I had a Bachelor of Science degree and had relatively successful jobs yet did not feel worthy. I attended the Skills for Success class, worked the SAM-EE program, and attended support groups
and got into counseling, all with guidance from The Advocates staff. In November 2018, I had a dream to work at the recovery center where I had gotten sober one and a half years prior. I had my newly revised resume and references. I went to the center and met with the executive director and was offered a job. I have a profound gratitude for all the staff at The Advocates. They believed in me. I learned about self – worth and how to advocate for myself. The Advocates is an organization that is unique. They provide so many opportunities for all people to learn and heal. I can never thank them enough.
MEN’S SECOND CHANCE LIVING
SECOND SOBER HOUSE FOR MSCL
M
en’s Second Chance Living is growing and expanding its services. With the rise in substance abuse and the housing shortage, we have seen an increase in the demand for sober living in recent years. MSCL House has opened a second sober living house to provide safe and sober housing to men pursuing long-term sobriety. MSCL House will serve an additional 15 men each year. MSCL House hopes to offer its wrap-around services to men in the second residence. These services include funding for behavioral health, medical and dental, sober recreational activities, educational assistance, financial literacy classes and a matched savings program. If you would like to support these services please go to our website and make a donation. www.msclhouse.org Jenna
I
pray that I never forget how I felt in the picture on the left. eighteen months ago, I was hopeless and felt just as worthless. I prayed that I wouldn't have to wake up to live another day. My unresolved trauma throughout my life had become too much. I was at the height of my alcoholism, drinking a fifth a day and in so much emotional and spiritual pain.
In
I was given a choice and an opportunity eighteen months ago, and hoping it was a way out. I left for rehab at Rainbows End Recovery Center in Idaho. thirty four days later and the journey had only just begun. The last year and a half has been the hardest, most beautiful, most rewarding, and most peaceful of my life. I have gained a love and an understanding for not only myself, but for those around me as well. I am blessed in my professional and personal life to help those still suffering today with their addiction. I have meaningful and honest connections with the people around me today. I am capable of handling even the worst According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, situation with more love and more grace today. I am a work in one in every progress, four women violence in her lifetime with the will hope experience every day to be adomestic better me than I was day before.is I have beautiful and ever growingrisk and changing America today, domestictheviolence theanumber one health for women between the ages of relationship with a higher power of my own design and I have and 44. Unfortunately,more Blaine, Challis, Lincoln and Custer counties are not immune to this risk. blessings and more hope than I could have ever dreamed, The Advocates receiveseven approximately requests for assistance every day and provides direct on my best day 1851 months ago.
assistance to at least 1,380 adults and 2,572 children annually. I wish I could give even just a glimpse of the hope and love I have discovered on this journey. I continue to do the next right thing, let go of things I cannot control, and exist for just one day at a Resources time. Thankful every day for the opportunity to have lived this life.
Rainbow’s End Recovery Center Jenna H. www.rainbowsendrecoverycenter.com | 208 879-2267 Men’s Second Chance Living www.msclhouse.org | 208 481-0182 Resources The Crisis Hotline www.thecrisishotline.org | 208 788-3596 Rainbow's End Recovery Center www.rainbowsendrecoverycenter.com | 208 879-2267
12 Step Group Meetings, Mental Health Group Meetings Men’s Second Chance Living www.msclhouse.org | 208 481-0182 The Sun Club www.sunclub.org The Crisis Hotline www.thecrisishotline.org | 208 788-3596
NAMI www.nami-wrv.com | 208 481-0686 12 Step Group Meetings, Mental Health Group Meetings The Sun Club www.sunclub.org
The Advocates For Survivors of Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault NAMI www.nami-wrv.com | 208 481-0686 www.theadvocates.org | 208 788-4191 Advocates For Survivors of Domestic Abuse www.theadvocates.org | 208 788-4191
St. Lukes Mental Health Services www.stlukesonline.org St. Lukes Mental Health Services www.stlukesonline.org 208 788-2134 208 788-2134
The Suicide Publisher Nancy Colletti, Executive Director, Rainbow’s End Recovery Center
The Suicide Hotline | DIAL 988 Hotline | DIAL 988
Our Sponsors
Our Sponsors
Editor In Chief Claudia Mohr, Manager, The Crisis Hotline Contact us: rercjournal@gmail.com Creative Direction Encore Design + Consulting
Publisher Nancy Colletti, Executive Director, Rainbow’s End Recovery Center
Editor In Chief Claudia Mohr, Manager, The Crisis Hotline Contact us: wellness23@gmail.com
15