November 2023
t
hrive WOMEN
Unlocking the Energy of Abundance Unleashing Our Voices This Season
Why Biohacking is Essential for Your Success
volume 25
Are You Experiencing Gaslighting? EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE & LEADERSHIP SUCCESS Missing Piece to Your
GUT HEALTH
Discovering the Empowering Gifts POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY: Within Trauma Rewriting Your Self-Story
BE A GUEST ON THE WOMEN THRIVE PODCAST - SUBSCRIBE TO THE WOMEN THRIVE MAGAZINE IN PRINT
Be featured in the Women Thrive Magazine Have you ever thought about the vibrant conversations you have with your girlfriends over a cup of coffee? What topic gets you excited, whether it's your business expertise, a passion you deeply understand, or a life lesson you've embraced? The beauty of Women Thrive Magazine lies in its inclusivity – you don't need to be a seasoned writer or a media star to contribute an article to us. Our platform warmly welcomes voices from all walks of life. Imagine chatting with the woman next door – what valuable insight would you share with her? What perspective might she find intriguing? At Women Thrive, we invite you to be a part of our community, sharing your experiences, wisdom, and unique viewpoints with our global readers. Whether you're a businesswoman, an entrepreneur, an author, a woman next door or an expert in any field, we want to hear from you.
SUBMIT YOUR ARTICLE NOW https://womenthrivemagazine.com/become-guest-writer/
EDITOR'S WELCOME NOTE
thrive WOMEN
MAGAZINE
Editor's Note
W
elcome to November’s Issue of the Women Thrive Magazine. This November, we celebrate the voices of women who dared to dream, took risks, and carved their own paths in the business world.
"Empowering a woman is not just about giving her a voice; it's about validating the strength she has always possessed." Follow us on social media WomenThriveMedia WomenThriveMedia
In a world brimming with diverse experiences and unique perspectives, this month's issue is dedicated to the art of storytelling. We believe that every woman's journey is a narrative waiting to inspire, motivate, and uplift others. Our pages are filled with stories of triumph over challenges, bold entrepreneurial ventures, and the unwavering determination that propels women business owners to great heights. Their stories are a testament to the power of resilience, creativity, and unwavering self-belief. We hope these narratives inspire you to embrace your unique journey, to find the confidence to share your story and, in turn, empower others to do the same. At the heart of Women Thrive community is the intention of inspiring women and creating a safe space for every woman to share her story. Our belief is that sharing your story is not just an act of vulnerability but a courageous declaration of strength. We hope you join us for the upcoming launch of our brand new Women Thrive book and Thrive Talks event where we spotlight women's stories from all walks of life, with the goal of inspiring others. With Love, Raimonda Credits
Raimonda Jankunaite / Founder & Editor-in-Chief Olivia Marocco / Designer J Rachel West / Content Editor Photographer / @bazphotoman
WomenThriveMedia WOMEN THRIVE / 03
CONTENT
content ARTICLES P03 P04 P06 P11 P12 P13 P16 P18 P20
Editor's Welcome Note Content Why Biohacking is Essential for Your Success Women Thrive Podcast Women Thrive Event - Valencia A Journey of Courage, Resilience, and Passion Women Thrive Book Rediscover You with Purpose Women Thrive Networking Events
Dr. Grace Liu EXCLUSIVE
Why Biohacking is Essential for Your Success / P06
RESILIENCE
LEADERSHIP
Julie Jones
Kylie van Luyn
A Journey of Courage, Resilience, and Passion / P13
P21 P24 P28 P30 P34 P36 P38 P40 P42 P44 P46 P48
Emotional Intelligence & Leadership Success / P24
Unlocking the Energy of Abundance Emotional Intelligence & Leadership Success Forever An Empath Rewriting Your Self-Story Transforming Your Life Story Unleashing Out Voice in This Season Nobody is Perfect, but we are all perfectly ourselves Discovering the Empowering Gifts Within It The Struggle for Self The Missing Piece to Your Gut Health The Power of Positive Thinking Are You Experiencing Gaslighting?
04 / WOMEN THRIVE
"The digestion of emotions is our ultimate super power though. It transforms everything, including your business!" PSYCHOLOGY
Siobhan Connolly Hogan Positive Psychology: Rewriting Your Self-Story / P30
VOICE Dr. Coylette James Unleashing Our Voice This Season / P36
EVENT
Thrive Talks in Valencia Saturday 18 November 10am - 6:30pm CET
What happens when women from all around the world with the same positive outlook on personal growth and success come together in one place? Absolutely magical things happen and together we talk about THRIVING in business and life! Yes, join us for our exclusive Thrive Talks event featuring speakers from all around the world who will inspire you, motivate you, and help you envision the next version of yourself. If you always wanted to surround yourself with successful, inspiring, and motivational people, this is your chance to experience the magic of like-minded and supportive women coming together. Our events are usually attended by women in business and entrepreneurship, coaching, and those who enjoy personal development and growth.
What can you expect at this event? - Fantastic networking opportunities with business founders and entrepreneurs who are flying in from all parts of the world to be there. - Gorgeous venue with lots of photo opportunities so you can make special memories meeting people. - A panel of inspirational and professional speakers who will be sharing their stories on stage. - Opportunity to witness the first in-person production of the Thrive Talks event that is due to expand globally in 2024. - Goodie bags, lots of delicious food, drinks and other surprises. Come and spend the day with us in Valencia and make unforgettable memories, surrounded by amazing women, inspirational talks and so much more. Unable to join us in person? No worries, get access to our virtual stream.
JOIN US NOW https://womenthrive.club/valencia-thrive-talks WOMEN THRIVE / 05
SPECIAL FEATURE
I Why Biohacking is Essential For Your Success. My entrepreneurial odyssey started when I realized that the pharmaceuticals that I was peddling in the health organization I worked for were actually causing more harm than good.
My Story. Dr. Grace Liu 06 / WOMEN THRIVE
woke up in my peak fertile years at age 37 wearing a high-dose contraceptive hormone IUD (intrauterine device) called Mirena but feeling like I had hit menopause, with hair falling out, depressed, no menstrual cycle, no libido, dry vagina, swollen ankles, exercise intolerance, and weight ballooning 2+ stones (30+ lbs). I was an adjunct pharmacy school professor and could not explain all the signs or symptoms I was experiencing. Previously, I had great health and was lean. I even modeled antique clothing for my children’s piano teacher’s annual fundraiser. I exercised with ease in half marathons, Crossfit, yoga and sprint triathlons. However, wearing the fake hormone device, I was fat, fatigued, fogged and felt like I was going to die. The fine print on the drug sheets explained that signs were extremely rare signs but yet I had all of them. Cancers, blood clots and premature ovarian failure were not yet listed on the sheets; years later, these signs were documented and added. My doctor, who was the head of the gynecology department, kept reassuring me the device was her “miracle”. She planned to wear it and change it every 5 years ad infinitum. Little did I know that truth-seeking was the end of a bright pharmacy career and the beginning of the exciting times of entrepreneurship and biohacking! You may be familiar with the term ‘Biohacking’ as it is quite popular and trending now. Joe Rogan talks about it. London has its own biohacking conference called Health Optimization Summit. Better living through science. Biohacking is the practice of using strategies drawn from diverse fields like nutrition, neuroscience, longevity studies, biochemistry, genetics, and medicine to improve performance, enhance health metrics (eg body composition, blood pressure, heart rate variability), feel better, or achieve longevity targets (telomere and lifespan lengthening). It is an expanding field which is not just for young, male, tech executives but also multitasking, smart women, moms, grandmothers and successful goddess entrepreneurs! >>
"Little did I know that truth-seeking was the end of a bright pharmacy career and the beginning of the exciting times of entrepreneurship and biohacking!”
WOMEN THRIVE / 07
SPECIAL FEATURE Using techniques and protocols (these are called “hacks”) to regain my health after the disasters I had experienced, I realized many people needlessly suffer fatigue. Through biohacking, I help top-level men and women reduce fatigue, body fat and brain fog. They regain not only wellness, but extraordinary vitality and extreme regenerative capabilities. A survey in 2023 by the National Safety Council (NSC) reported 97% of workers report fatigue. Fatigue at the workplace can obviously lead to low cognitive performance and dangerous accidents. Fatigue in our personal lives can trigger frightfully challenged relationships with lack of discernment, anger, addictions, impatience and not being present with those that we love. If you’ve been there, you know exactly what I mean. Several other hacks and several years later, business “hacking” helped my business to stay afloat during the pandemic and continue to serve vitality and wellness to clients and customers. We have reached some of our best months with gross monthly revenue streams at $80-100k+ after these hacks. One of the best hacks, as you may all be aware, is split testing data - try 2 ideas and see which ideas fly before actually launching a Meta or Google advertisement or email campaign.
"Through biohacking, I help top-level men and women reduce fatigue, body fat and brain fog.” An 85-year Harvard study that started extensively tracking 724 men of all social backgrounds and geography in 1938 (President John F. Kennedy was initially part of the group) found that the quality of relationships was the #1 factor for happiness and longevity. The researchers collected reams of data. They even interviewed family members and spouses. Essentially, wealth and health did not matter. In other words, common “hacks” such as healthy nutrition, supplements, exercise, weight, financial status, career success or even genetics did make a dent as much as the state of spousal marriages, partnerships, friendships and sisterhoods /brotherhoods. Imagine the shock in the “thinking” science community. Biohacking is essential for your personal and business success I believe. Many of us get stuck, clogged and blocked for various reasons. I am going to share two “ancestral” biohacking secrets which have nourished and brought my relationships, romances and even my retail business to next levels. In our modern age with access to so many fake things (fake materials, fake hormones, fake transactions), the antidote is ancestrally-aligned practices which re-ignite our authentic connections. 1. Ancestral Sisterhood 2. Digesting in All 4 Planes
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Ancestral sisterhoods were a rite of passage since the dawn of civilization and we lived in tribal units. Womenfolk gathered in red tents to share stories, camaraderie, and support births together. If you remember your days with your sisters living at home or in female college dormitories, our menses mysteriously synchronized. It has always been this way. Ancestrally to protect the tribe from blood-sniffing predators, our exposed blood was minimized. Until recently we have always lived as tribes. We soothed one another, cuddled, and cooed together. Now, in the modern world we are disconnected, sprawled across the globe, and isolated. Women no longer ask for help or rely consistently on one another. As women, we have lost the goddess collective (the same can be said for men’s circles and their rites of passage).This has lead to collective disconnection. The most alarming is distrust within ourselves. For me, joining a local women’s circle immediately changed my trajectory. As I was being more held, seen and safe, I became more confident and grounded with their help. In our circle, we play an incredible goddess game called the Wish Game created by a goddess named Louise Laffey. One ancestral biohack to consider is examining how a women’s circle that makes you feel safe, seen and aligned might be fruitful for connections. The second ancestral hack involves digestion, which is my main line of work. In fact, I create and produce one of the most-ultra potent probiotics on planet Earth. My signature blends improve and support optimal digestion of food. Not only do they help to prevent bloating, burping, and indigestion, they support the gutbrain axis by preventing anxiety, depression and foggy thinking. Grab the Gut Reset Protocol and free gut recipes if you’re interested (CLICK HERE). In the modern age, we have come to overvalue the head. We over-think. We overcalculate. We over-reason. We over-analyze. We jump and react instead of pausing and feeling what our wisdom and emotions are quietly sharing. Messages of our visceral senses, intuition and gut instincts are blunted. We mimic often what we see. Our mothers did this. Our grandmothers did this. This is all that they knew. They were imprinted with this patterning and abandoned themselves in the process.
We have 4 levels of energy that we have the opportunity to access: 1. Physical (gut) 2. Mental (head) 3. Emotional (heart) 4. Vibrational (frequency) In the first stage of my entrepreneurial life, I mastered the first two. Modern achievement are where I initially held my identity (college, doctor of pharmacy, adjunct professorship, business success, yada yada). The last two energies were difficult for me. Working with these required coaching and mentorship. Feeling my heart and frequency of my body and living things around me took more resources, attention and concentration then all my education combined because I was very stubborn. The digestion of emotions is our ultimate super power though. It transforms everything, including your business! Transmuting triggers is the best fuel for our Power. Sitting with awkward and adverse feelings (betrayal, sadness, despair, pain, shame, fear, embarrassment, harassment, bullied, excluded, overwhelmed, hurt, lonely, jealous, disappointed) is hard. As children, if our caretakers and coaches could not handle our feelings with maturity, we were left to our own devices which meant hiding, hibernating and holding these frequencies down. This is exhausting. The undigested get stuck at the head or elsewhere. They clog. They resist being freed as we become ‘wedded’ to the contextual circumstances from which they originated. Our fake stories are not our authentic truth, and require biohacking if we long for freedom. >>
WOMEN THRIVE / 09
SPECIAL FEATURE
"By digesting in the emotional and vibrational planes, alchemy occurs as these energies roam and roar through the body as they were meant to.” I embarked on the second stage of my entrepreneurial life the last few years and these have been the best years. I get to authentically connect with our customers through my clinical practice, TV interviews, media and written connections. I share about how health and wealth can exude giving permission for difficult-to-digest emotions to flow. Imagine that! Shifting from indigestible food to indigestible emotions! By staying with all the stuck and clogged emotions as gently, softly, compassionately as possible, the result is authentic connection which I have observed spontaneously unblocks health issues (gut, autoimmunity, inflammatory disorders, chronic pain, long-Covid, cancers, coronary disease, etc). The 85-year old Harvard longevity and happiness study I cited earlier was about relationships. The most important relationship for longevity and happiness is the AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH OURSELVES. May you explore and find the Power that lies there. By digesting in the emotional and vibrational planes, alchemy occurs as these energies roam and roar through the body as they were meant to. As children, we may have gotten signals (silent and not so silent or peaceful) to be quiet, be still, be normal, be less volatile, be less emotional. This patterning may have persisted into our current states. It blocks digestion. When we finally digest these, these challenging, difficult emotions often instantly shift to other vibrations: joy, happiness, loved, valued, accepted, hopeful, powerful, curious, creative, caring, excited, grateful, receptive, respected, hopeful.
Dr. Grace Liu Dr. Grace Liu PharmD is an IFM-trained functional medicine practitioner and founder of The Gut Institute. She is a clinical pharmacist with a doctorate in practice for 20+ years and specializes in complex disease management. Dr. Liu PharmD consults and helps clients gain optimal performance through rebuilding the microbiome after damage from modern living. She uses nutrigenomic tools and other advanced functional lab testing to give the solutions, strategies and treatments that reverse modern gut dysbiosis and disease. thegutinstitute
10 / WOMEN THRIVE
thegutinstitute.com
3 n o Seas
t
PODCAST
Season 3 of the Women Thrive Podcast
kicks off with an episode that sets the stage for empowerment. Hosted by Abigail, the podcast's mission is clear: empower women to embrace greatness, conquer fears, and make a global impact. In this episode, we uncover the remarkable journey of Raimonda Jan, the visionary behind Women Thrive Media. Raimonda's passion-driven mission is to create a platform that amplifies women's voices worldwide and offers a safe and supportive space for women to share their stories.
hrive WOMEN
APPLY TODAY!
PODCAST
Looking for an exciting opportunity to be featured on the Women Thrive Podcast? We are now accepting applications from businesswomen, entrepreneurs, leaders, authors, speakers, CEOs, and more. This platform is a unique space where your story and achievements can shine, offering you a chance to inspire, empower, and connect with a diverse and engaged audience. By sharing your journey, challenges, and successes, you not only enhance your visibility but also contribute to a community that celebrates and uplifts women’s accomplishments. Being a part of this podcast provides a powerful platform to showcase your expertise, share valuable insights, and leave a lasting impression on both your career and the lives of those who tune in. Join us in celebrating women’s excellence and making a positive difference in the world through the Women Thrive Podcast.
Be A Guest On The Women Thrive Podcast This podcast is more than just a business podcast... this is a podcast to amplify the voices and stories of successful women entrepreneurs and business leaders. In a world where gender disparities still exist, this podcast creates a space where women can showcase their achievements, share their experiences, and serve as role models for aspiring professionals. This visibility not only helps break down gender barriers but also fosters a sense of community and solidarity among women in various industries.
Appearing on the Women Thrive Podcast offers a chance to expand your professional network, as the audience includes individuals who are passionate about women’s empowerment and business success. This makes it an ideal place to connect with like-minded individuals, potential mentors, collaborations, and even clients or customers. This is a unique opportunity to gain visibility, build thought leadership, boost your credibility, expand your reach, and make a meaningful impact.
www.womenthrivemagazine.com/podcast
WOMEN THRIVE / 11
EVENT
VALENCIA RETREAT
New dates added for May and June 2024 A Business & Self-Care Retreat Like No Other.
Luxury Business Retreat for Women in Costa Blanca Spain Are you a visionary woman who is committed to personal growth, with a deep desire to elevate your mindset, creativity, and personal brand whilst being surrounded by luxury and like-minded women? Join us for a week-long luxury retreat experience for women in business hosted in beautiful Spain, Costa Blanca. This is an experience carefully designed for ambitious, successful women in business who are looking to further elevate their success and create more abundance. This is a business and self-care retreat like no other. We have created the perfect 7-day itinerary for you, with the ideal mix of business and pleasure. In the 7 days together we will combine powerful coaching sessions, that will help you elevate your business and personal growth and offer actual opportunities, whilst offering you the perfect selfcare time to rest, reflect and co-create. Your retreat is all-inclusive which means no extra costs will be incurred during your trip. This includes your stay at a luxurious villa just south of Valencia in a stunning location in the mountains just a short drive away from a local white sandy beach stretching for over 8 miles. Part two of this retreat is held at a luxury apartment in the city centre of Valencia. We provide all transfers, catering, dine-out experiences, self-care practices & luxury spa, business workshops, expert training & mastermind experience.
empower.womeninbusiness.club/valencia-retreat-2024 12 / WOMEN THRIVE
RESILIENCE
Julie A Jones In a world that often moves at breakneck speed, women entrepreneurs are at the epicenter of a whirlwind of dreams, goals, and responsibilities. As we chase the elusive concept of success, we often forget to savor the present moment. It's time to break free from the cycle of waiting for a better tomorrow and start living in the NOW with courage, resilience, and an unbridled passion for fun. >>
WOMEN THRIVE / 13
RESILIENCE
The Hamster Wheel of Waiting How often have we caught ourselves saying, "I'll be happy when…" or "I'll start living fully once I achieve…" We convince ourselves that happiness and fulfillment are just around the corner, waiting for the perfect opportunity. However, this cycle of waiting robs us of the joys surrounding us daily. Picture this: a hamster endlessly running on a wheel, going nowhere fast. Similarly, when we constantly wait for that perfect moment, we're trapped on a hamster wheel of our own making. It's time to step off and realize that life's richness lies not just in the goals we strive for but in the magical experiences we create along the way.
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Resilience: Bouncing Back Stronger
"The ability to bounce back after setbacks is what sets successful entrepreneurs apart.”
Entrepreneurship is a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. The ability to bounce back after setbacks is what sets successful entrepreneurs apart. Resilience isn't just about enduring difficulties; it's about turning challenges into opportunities for growth. When we stop waiting for the "perfect time" to tackle challenges, we empower ourselves to face them head-on. Every obstacle becomes a chance to learn, adapt, and become stronger. As women entrepreneurs, our resilience becomes a beacon of hope for others, showing them that setbacks are stepping stones to success.
The Courage to Embrace Imperfection
Passion for Fun: The Heartbeat of Living Fully
Perfectionism is a thief of joy and progress. Women entrepreneurs often set impossibly high standards for themselves, fearing that any misstep will lead to failure. But the truth is the pursuit of perfection can paralyze us and prevent us from taking action. Courage, on the other hand, is the antidote to perfectionism. It's the strength to acknowledge our vulnerabilities and take risks despite them. It's the audacity to step out of our comfort zones and embrace the uncertainty of living fully in the present moment. We create space for authenticity, growth, and genuine connections by letting go of the need to be flawless.
Amid the hustle and bustle of entrepreneurship, we often sideline the importance of fun. But fun isn't a luxury - it's a necessity. Passion for fun infuses life with energy and creativity. The spark keeps us going, even during the most challenging times. Think back to when you first started your entrepreneurial journey. Chances are, a deep passion for your vision drove you. Somewhere along the way, the daily grind dulled that initial enthusiasm. It's time to reignite that fire. Embrace the joy of spontaneous laughter, indulge in activities that light up your soul, and infuse your work with playfulness.
Embracing the Power of Now The power to live wholly lies in our hands, and the moment to begin is now. Let's seize today with both hands instead of waiting for that distant tomorrow. Let's acknowledge that imperfection is beautiful, that resilience is our strength, and that passion for fun is the driving force of a fulfilling life. As women entrepreneurs, we can reshape not only our own lives but also the lives of those around us. By living in the present moment, we become role models who inspire others to break free from the bonds of waiting and start creating the life they desire.
"Here's to living in the moment and embracing our life's extraordinary journey.” So, let's step off the hamster wheel of waiting. Let's replace the habit of waiting with the practice of living courageously, embracing our vulnerabilities, and celebrating every victory - big or small. Let's weave resilience into our stories and let setbacks be the stepping stones to our success. And above all, let's infuse our lives with a passion for fun because, in the end, it's the moments of joy that make our journey worthwhile. As women entrepreneurs, we are the architects of our destiny, and the masterpiece we create reflects the courage, resilience, and passion we choose to live with. So, here's to living in the moment and embracing our life's extraordinary journey. The time is now, the choice is ours, and the possibilities are limitless.
Julie A Jones Julie Jones is an Award-Winning Speaker, International Bestselling Author, and Productivity & Breakthrough Coach, who has produced her own TV show Stop Waiting Start Living, and is the host of the Get S#*t Done podcast. Julie is a certified Master Practitioner of NLP and is certified in Mental and Emotional Release as well as Hypnosis. As a Working Genius facilitator, Julie’s primary role is to help individuals and teams discover their working geniuses through a structured process. adventuresofjuliejones
juliejones.biz
WOMEN THRIVE / 15
N E E V V I I Book Launch M R R O TWomen H Thrive H I T R N N E ME TH R N O H E W OM N T H E W OM N T E T W M N E O E T W M N E O V W ME N E O E V WOMEN THRIVE BOOK
Vol.2
Inspiring True Stories of Women Overcoming Adversity
Come together with us on November 2nd for a virtual launch event, where we will celebrate the release of our inspiring book and honour the incredible authors and their stories.
Release Date 2nd November
www.womenthrivesummit.com/book
Women Thrive / 16
EW N E N T T O H W M R O E I W M N VE OM EN TH OM EN TH R R T E ME N T HR IV ME N T HR IVE N T HR IV EN H IV E W TH RI E W V Meet the Women Thrive Book Vol. 2 Authors
Raimonda Jankunaite Founder, Women Thrive Media
Poli Sevcikova Business Architect and Mentor
Carmen Benton Holistic Success Mentor
Katrina Marsh Founder, Entrepreneur
Christelle PILLOT Founder of Freedom Catcher Academy
Lauren Buckner Lawyer & Business Strategist
Paige Frisone Subconscious Health Practitioner
Beth A Boles Boutique Owner
www.womenthrivesummit.com/book
WOMEN THRIVE / 17
PURPOSE
Rediscover by Marissa Warren
H
ave you woken up one day and looked around at your life, only to think, how did I end up here?! This is not where I thought I would be at this age! Maybe after having children, you lost your sense of identity and felt that you were no longer living for yourself, and instead living for other people. Or you have an amazing career but feel like you compromised and sacrificed so much of your life and time to get ahead. As the days ticked over, you drifted further and further away from your true self. At some point, you reached a place where you realise there is more to life! That the way that you are currently living life is no longer fulfilling, if it ever was. Feeling like you’ve lost your purpose, or feeling like you’ve never really been living your best life can happen – at any time, to anyone! Sometimes, it feels like your whole life has been tipped upside down, like parts of you are jigsaw puzzle pieces jumbled out on a table and you need to put your life back together, but the pieces don’t quite fit the same anymore. It feels like you need to step into and merge into a new 2.0 version of yourself. But it is possible to rebuild your life. You can restart over at any time, at any age, and at any stage of your life.
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How to tell if you’ve lost your life purpose: You are lacking in motivation and this is above the normal, day-to-day grind tired. It’s more than that. You have no enthusiasm or wanting for the things you normally like to do or enjoy. You feel lost and like you have no real purpose or sense of direction in your day and life. You feel lost and disconnected. It feels like you’re going through the motions and nothing seems to ever feel like it's filling your cup. You’re running on empty and it’s hard to feel energised, focused, or motivated. You feel an underlying and persistent state of mundane. Nothing really brings you a high level of joy or energy. It doesn’t matter what success or external achievement you have; nothing feels like it brings any validation or contentment and you still feel empty and flat. True fulfillment comes from aligning your actions with your core values and passions. Life isn’t feeling like you have any direction or future goals. Your life doesn’t have clarity and everything looks and feels a bit muddy, like you can’t see into the future or what’s next. You also don’t have the motivation, focus or drive to make changes.
What can you do to flip the funk?
" Feeling like you’ve lost your purpose, or feeling like you’ve never really been living your best life can happen – at any time, to anyone!"
Be kind to yourself, honour yourself for where you are on your journey, and allow yourself the patience to try new things and to renavigate back on track to move into a new direction and new path. Take some time for self-reflection and explore your passions, values, and interests. Spend more time doing things that bring you joy and a sense of fulfillment. Engage in new experiences, learn new skills, and do something every day that connects you back to YOU and brings your mind/body connection back into alignment. Spend time journaling, meditating, and working with professionals that can help you to tune into and tap into your genius zone. Connect with others and join communities that have aligned interests. Make changes – even if they are small and incremental. Over time, these small changes add up to big changes. Set goals. Nothing changes if you don’t. No one or anything can pick you up and put you into a different life. It’s all up to you!
" Journaling, meditating, and working with professionals that can help you to tune into and tap into your genius zone ."
The clearer you are on what feels good internally, the easier it is to tune into what you like and don’t like or want more or less of. Incorporating somatic embodiment practices to your daily routine can help you to bring back heart/mind/body coherence, tune back into your intuition and inner wisdom, and - most importantly – trust yourself enough to feel safe within yourself and to trust the inner guidance that is coming through. If you are feeling stuck and need help peeling back the layers to easily and quickly discover what’s been holding you back, and you feel that you need help to uncover your life’s purpose, then an RTT – Rapid Transformational Therapy session could be for you! Combining hypnosis, neurolinguistic programming, cognitive behavioural therapy, and psychotherapy to uncover the root cause of what’s been holding you back, rewire and recode your subconscious and allow you to break free from limitations to move forward into the 2.0 version of you and to live your best life daily. Book a free discovery call to connect and help you move forward in life and reconnect back to yourself. https://booknow.marissawarren.com/#/customer/di scoverycall
Marissa Warren Marissa is a hypnotherapist and transformational consultant. Working with RTT – Rapid Transformational Therapy - and somatic embodiment, Marissa creates a safe space to facilitate your healing journey and a lasting impact in your life. Her purpose is to guide you back to your inner knowing that you are already perfect, amazing, and fully capable of achieving everything you want. Marissa can create a clear mental path for you to focus on your aspirations and achieve peak performance, along with reconnecting to your body and tuning into your inner guidance. marissawarren_
marissawarren.com
WOMEN THRIVE / 19
Join the international community for women in business today. We empower female entrepreneurs to build successful businesses. Are you looking to grow your business but don't have the budget to hire a marketing agency or a coach to show you how? Our membership teaches you all of that for just $47 a month - and the first month is 50% off right now. Inside, you have access to social media, visibility, lead generation, email list building, and nurturing your audience strategies and templates for your funnels. We collected more than 3 years of the best in the industry advice and guidance at a fraction of what coaching would cost. All you have to do is dedicate the time to go through it and implement it. Are you in? At $23.5 for the first month, you really can't go wrong with this investment.
www.womeninbusiness.club
JOIN THE MEMBERS CLUB TODAY 20 / WOMEN THRIVE
MINDSET
by Christine Williams
W
hen you were little, you created a story about money and abundance. It was woven from your family experiences, cultural beliefs, and societal beliefs that you heard over and over again. This story was put on repeat so often, that your brain decided to make it seem real for you. Instead of just a story, it became how you see the world and how you see yourself, and your relationship with money. It’s been guiding you for a very long time, even though the story may be causing fear, stress, lack, and not serving you for how you would like to experience abundance in your life. Fortunately, stories and beliefs can be rewritten and rewired. The following steps will guide you through the process of updating your belief system and rewiring them so you can align them with who you desire to be today. When we create new ways of believing, it allows us to create new ways of BE-ING and acting; and that changes your relationship with abundance, money, and how it is attracted in your life. >>
"the more you focus on abundance, joy, and security, the more you will see it and the more can come to you."
WOMEN THRIVE / 21
MINDSET
Step One:
"Rewiring your story means letting go of the old beliefs that no longer serve you."
Notice Your Internal Money Story We have over 60,000 thoughts a day. Most of them are automatic and repetitive. They are like a record playing the same song over and over again. Most of the time, we don’t even question or give much attention to what it is playing in the background. The first step in rewiring your beliefs and creating a new story is to become aware of what your song is playing about abundance and money. Some of the lyrics may sound like? You don’t have enough money. You’ll never be able to afford that. Wanting money is greedy. You don’t need money. because you are spiritual. You’re not good with money. The more you give away, the less you have for yourself. The only way to earn money is through hard work and sacrifice. Dealing with money is such a hassle. The more I make, the more I’ll have to pay in taxes. If I make more, people will think I’m snobby. People with money are unethical and greedy. Begin to notice the lyrics you hear yourself saying, write them down. Don’t focus on changing any of your thoughts. Simply start to create an awareness of them.
Step Three:
Write your NEW story
Step Two:
Challenge The Story Rewiring your story means letting go of the old beliefs that no longer serve you. The ones that are causing the lack, stress, and struggle. An exercise I share with my clients is to write down all the reasons why they don’t have what they desire financially right now. Once they finish writing, I ask them to go back and underline all the FACTS. The Facts are only those reasons that can be upheld in a court of law and true for all people in all circumstances. What’s left are just thoughts. And thoughts can be changed. So notice what’s left and then ask yourself these questions. 1- Is this belief serving me where I want to be now or in the future? 2- Does this belief align with who I want to be in the future? 3- Does this thought belong to me, or did I hear it from someone else? Once you know what you want to release, we can then reframe them into a more positive story.
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For each belief that is no longer aligning with who you want to be or what you want to experience in the future, ask yourself. 1- What else could be true? 2- What would I like instead? 3- What feelings would I have if I had this new experience? Example: OLD STORY: Having money is greedy. If I have more, others will have less. Write a new story. What else could be true? Having money allows me to enjoy life and contribute in ways that matter to me. The more I have, the more I can share and create a better life for those around me. What would I like instead? To be excited and joyful in receiving money and having an overflow I can share generously. What feelings would I have if I had this new experience? I would feel secure, safe, peaceful, confident, and excited. Then ask what is your part in co-creating this experience and what is God’s part. There is always a co-creating happening. For example, when you give your energy, time, and resources generously, money flows into your life in unexpected ways. Energy out always equals energy back to you.
Step Four:
Put Your New Beliefs On REPEAT and with FEELING FEELING is the secret. It is what replaces outdated beliefs with new, positive ones. Thoughts go out and the feelings magnetize people, places, and experiences, back to you. Just saying the words creates change. The secret to creating new beliefs that evoke change is to FEEL them as if they are happening now. In the present moment. And the MORE you say them and think about them with feeling, the quicker the brain sees them as something that needs to be stored to conserve energy. It becomes automatic and becomes your new story and belief system. To create your paradigms (your new way of being), place the word “I am” in front of each feeling word that you wrote down in step three: “I am secure. I am safe. I am peaceful. I am generous. I am confident. I am abundant.” You can also create out of your “my part/God’s part” statements. For example, “As I give generously, the Universe organizes things in unexpected ways to bring abundance to me, even if I don’t see it yet. Anytime you notice thoughts from your old money story arising in your mind, repeat your new story with feeling. If you can, bring as many senses into the even better picture. Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? What do you see, smell, hear, feel? This paints a vivid picture that lights up the parts of the brain that see it as happening NOW.
"The secret to creating new beliefs that evoke change is to FEEL them as if they are happening now." You may want to have post-it notes around your home, car, or office, that remind you of these new beliefs you want to bring into your being. By replacing thoughts of scarcity, limitation, and struggle with ones of abundance, generosity, and ease, you will align with the energy of abundance and attract more to you. Be sure to remind yourself of the gratitude you have and see the abundance that is around you everywhere. Look for the signs of safety, security, abundance, and joy. When you acknowledge what you have now, your physical evidence will begin to grow and mirror the shift in your mindset. Your brain has something called the Reticular Activating System (RAS) It controls our focus, and what we perceive, and is the gatekeeper of information. It connects our subconscious with the conscious and brings to light what we are looking for. What we focus on, grows. So the more you focus on abundance, joy, and security, the more you will see it and the more can come to you. For more tips on unlocking the energy of abundance, you can download my free Abundance Alignment Bundle here: https://learn.shineabundancenow.com/abundance -alignment-bundle
Christine Williams Christine Williams is the owner and founder of Shine Wellness LLC. A 7 figure business dedicated to empowering women wellness entrepreneurs and holistic practitioners to create soul-led and heartcentered 6-figure businesses, without the hustle and sales tactics that feel so out of alignment for many women. She is known for cultivating community, connections, and collaborations that inspire and create WIN-WINS for everyone. abundantempoweredfeminineleaders
shineabundancenow.com
WOMEN THRIVE / 23
LEADERSHIP
W
hy do some leaders experience long-term success? How do they do it, and what is their secret? A particular skill set, mindset, specific personality traits, and attributes differentiate highly successful leaders and the longevity of their overall success. These qualities are known as emotional intelligence (EQ) and have become increasingly well-recognized in recent years. Moreover, with the global workforce changing significantly following the pandemic and employee expectations and priorities shifting, emotional intelligence in leadership has never been more critical than it is now. In this article, we will explore what emotional intelligence is, including the four domains of emotional intelligence, how emotional intelligence can impact and enhance one’s success as a leader, and the steps to take to understand and improve one’s emotional intelligence and leadership skills.
" People with high emotional intelligence accept themselves and others." 24 / WOMEN THRIVE
What is Emotional Intelligence? Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, regulate, and manage one’s own emotions and the emotions of others. People with high emotional intelligence accept themselves and others, are not typically judgmental, display empathy, and are highly motivated individuals who understand how to motivate others. Leaders with a high degree of emotional intelligence typically display the following characteristics: They have a high degree of self-awareness and understand their own emotions, strengths, and areas requiring improvement. They are open to and enthusiastic about professional development and keen to improve their leadership skills continuously. They know how to motivate and inspire others and are empathetic to the feelings and experiences of those around them. They have well-developed active listening and communication skills and seek to understand, not to respond. They respect others and build positive and productive workplace cultures and relationships. Good leadership means understanding the people you are leading. Therefore, strong leadership skills are essential to success. Emotionally intelligent leaders use their empathy and understanding of the needs and emotions of others to be more effective.
Four Domains of Emotional Intelligence According to Daniel Goleman and Richard E. Boyatzis in the Harvard Business Review, emotional intelligence comprises four domains: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. Within each domain are twelve emotional intelligence competencies, which are learned and learnable capabilities that allow outstanding performance at work or as a leader. These include attributes like empathy, adopting a positive outlook, and self-control. However, they also include crucial abilities such as achievement; influence; negotiation; conflict management and resolution; teamwork; and motivational, inspirational leadership. These skills require just as much engagement with emotions as the first set and should be just as much a part of any aspiring leader’s development priorities (Goleman & Boyatzis, 2017).
" Someone may be brilliant academically but lack the skills associated with high emotional intelligence." Each of the four domains supports a leader in managing any crisis with lower levels of stress, less emotional reactivity, and fewer unintended consequences. Self-Awareness: This domain relates to an individual’s awareness of their emotions, behaviors, and reactions in certain situations. Behavior change and effective professional development are complex if leaders are unaware of their feelings and behaviors. Self-Management: This domain relates to how individuals regulate their emotions, adapt to different situations, and adopt a positive outlook and growth mindset. Social Awareness: This domain relates to the levels of empathy and organizational awareness a leader possesses and informs how they engage and communicate with others. Relationship Management: This domain relates to how influential a leader is, their ability to coach and mentor others, their conflict resolution skills, their ability to collaborate effectively as part of a team, and how inspirational they are as a leader.
Impacts of Poor Emotional Intelligence Someone may be brilliant academically but lack the skills associated with high emotional intelligence - such as empathizing with others and regulating their emotions effectively. It is not uncommon to experience leaders who appear grumpy, moody, or short-tempered, and their impact on individuals, teams, and workplace culture can be catastrophic if not addressed. Leaders who lack emotional intelligence are not empathetic in their approach to leading others, and their communication style is either aggressive or passive-aggressive. In workplaces where leaders lack emotional intelligence, employees are compliant out of fear for their job security or other consequences, the workplace culture is toxic and harmful, and employee retention rates are low. Another common trait of leaders lacking emotional intelligence is that they are either overtly confrontational, shy away from managing conflict, or avoid confrontation altogether. This includes avoiding providing feedback or constructive criticism to employees, negatively impacting how they manage performance and communicate expectations to employees. Leaders lacking emotional intelligence are also those most likely to tolerate or ignore poor workplace behaviors, resulting in low workplace morale, employee engagement, psychological safety, and sense of belonging.
" Leaders with high emotional intelligence can build trust among their employees and colleagues.” With high emotional intelligence comes a better understanding of the needs and feelings of others and awareness of their behaviors and impact on those around them. Leaders with high emotional intelligence can better work with, build trust among, relate to, and understand their employees and colleagues and cultivate better relationships because of their heightened awareness of the emotional states of those around them. They communicate performance expectations, and employees understand their role in the organization and are supported to perform their jobs to the best of their abilities and achieve their goals. These leaders also understand their clients’ needs and can respond to them through product and service development and delivery (Morgaine, n.d.). >>
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LEADERSHIP
Understanding One’s Emotional Intelligence Using comprehensive 360-degree assessments helps provide insights into one’s level of emotional intelligence. These assessments collect self-ratings and the views of others who know the person being assessed well. This external feedback helps evaluate all areas of emotional intelligence, including self-awareness (how would one know that one is not selfaware?). In addition, one can assess their strengths and areas requiring improvement by asking those they work with to provide feedback. Formal 360-degree assessments incorporate anonymous observations of one’s behavior by people who work with them, including direct reports, supervisors, and colleagues. These assessments best predict a leader's effectiveness, business performance, interpersonal skills, engagement, and job satisfaction. They also provide feedback as to areas requiring improvement and can form the basis for a professional development plan (Goleman & Boyatzis, 2017). Improving One’s Emotional Intelligence If leaders are concerned that their emotional intelligence needs improvement to make them more effective and successful, they should not panic. Emotional intelligence constantly evolves and improves as leaders shift their mindset, awareness deepens, and leaders learn the skills to support their evolving emotional intelligence. To excel, leaders must balance their strengths across the suite of emotional intelligence competencies. When they do that, excellent business results follow (Thriving Talent, 2017).
" Leaders must consciously observe their emotions and focus on their actions and how they relate to the emotions they are experiencing."
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An excellent place for leaders to start is to focus on how they feel. Leaders must consciously observe their emotions throughout the day and clearly describe them. Similarly, focus on their actions and how they relate to the emotions they are experiencing. Finally, leaders must observe how their reactions and behaviors affect those around them. Here are a few questions to conduct a quick self-assessment: Would you describe yourself as a positive or solutions-focused person? Do people naturally gravitate to you and enjoy your company? Do you think your presence energizes, motivates, and inspires those around you? Do your team members often come to you for advice or thank you for listening to them? These are subtle feedback clues that a leader’s mindset, behaviors, and attitude typically positively impact those around them and that they have high emotional intelligence. When interacting with people (clients, employees, and colleagues), leaders need to be mindful of and take the time to consider the emotions they are experiencing; attempt to understand their perspectives. It is impossible to know what another person is experiencing in their life.
As a leader, it is crucial to remember that people bring their whole selves to work and may be experiencing difficulties in other areas of their life that impact their performance, behavior, and interactions with others in the workplace. Leaders with high emotional intelligence will sense that something may be wrong with one of their employees, almost like a gut instinct or intuition. This ‘knowing’ is emotional intelligence kicking in. This guides leaders to follow up with their employees privately to conduct a check-in or welfare check to ask if any support can be provided or merely let the employee know they have support if and when they may require it. This compassion sets leaders apart and builds trust and rapport between leader and employee. With the ever-changing work world and the need for leaders to constantly evolve to meet the needs of their employees, emotional intelligence will be one of the key factors contributing to leadership and business success. Emotional intelligence is more than a skill set for leaders to master; it is having conviction in your decisions, genuinely empathizing with others, having a clear purpose and vision, and adopting an open and positive mindset.
" Compassion sets leaders apart and builds trust and rapport between leader and employee."
Leaders who understand its importance and how to harness their emotional intelligence in the workplace to inspire, motivate and develop their employees will experience business success and loyalty amongst their teams and colleagues. More importantly, they will coach emerging leaders to do the same. The next step for leaders wishing to strengthen their emotional intelligence is to engage with a professional, coach, or mentor who can guide them through areas requiring improvement and shift their mindset. A coach will develop an action plan and hold leaders accountable to ensure they progress and leverage their strengths. The most successful leaders never stop learning and evolving. So it makes good business sense for leaders to start exploring their levels of emotional intelligence.
Kylie van Luyn Kylie is an experienced coach, consultant, and executive with over 14 years of experience coaching & supporting people from diverse backgrounds. Kylie is passionate about helping people understand the link between mindset, confidence, and success. Her coaching areas of expertise include emotional intelligence, leadership development, fostering workplace diversity, equity, inclusion, and psychological safety, shifting mindset, building confidence, and empowering individuals to reach their full potential. kylie-van-luyn
elevatedconsulting.net
WOMEN THRIVE / 27
MINDSET
Forever an
by Lucy Pignataro
E
mpathy? What does it mean? A person with the paranormal ability to perceive the mental or emotional state of another individual.
“An Empath is an individual who feels more empathy than an average human. Empaths are exceptionally sensitive to the emotions and frame of mind of nearby individuals. Empathy is a natural state that enables a person to build an emotional connection through cognition with other individuals.”
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So, there you have it, this is what it means to be an Empath! Now, let's consider if the shoe fits.I have lived my whole life being incredibly sensitive to the feelings and perspectives of others. I possess an uncanny ability to anticipate what will come next when I'm around people. Sometimes, it's their words that reveal their intentions, other times it's their body language, and often it's simply a strong intuition. And sure enough, events unfold just as I foresaw. However, being an empath is far from easy or enjoyable. It can leave me feeling drained, angry, and frustrated when I find myself deeply immersed in the emotional experiences of others. Despite dedicating many years to personal development and deep spiritual work, I continue to struggle with my empathic nature, and perhaps I always will. Today, I took a moment to reflect on how I have managed to be an empath and why I feel compelled to save others or give so much of my time and energy. Why do I invest so deeply in others when they invest so little in themselves? No one is explicitly asking me to intervene or rescue them, but many have grown accustomed to my well-intentioned advice and reassurances that everything will be okay. I can't help but notice my effortless ability to fill their emotional cups.
t
I vividly remember the first time I became aware of what I was doing. I had a friend who frequently faced dramatic situations, and I always jumped in to help in any way I could because that's what good friends do, right? However, one day, she walked into my home, overwhelmed with emotions like anger and sadness. Without pausing, I was ready to leap in and save the day, but something within me stopped. I simply watched as she unloaded and then swiftly walked out the front door, leaving all her baggage behind. At that moment, my inner self - whether you call it Spirit or Soul - revealed to me how people often come with their suitcases full, drop them in front of me, and leave feeling much better. Meanwhile, I am left feeling depleted, confused, and often angry. I'm certain that many Empaths can relate. While there is nothing wrong with helping someone in need, most people simply want to vent or offload; they don't truly desire to make a change. They are free to choose their path, but as Empaths, we must constantly remind ourselves that we too are free to choose.
What if our true purpose as Empaths isn't to fix or save anyone, but rather to stand as lighthouses, reflecting light into the darkest places? Perhaps our role is to allow others to find their own way, even if their journey looks nothing like what we would choose for them. And that's okay. Being an Empath is not a flaw; it is a tremendous blessing to have a heart that loves deeply and cares so profoundly for the well-being of others. We must remember that our purpose is to shine a light into the darkness because darkness is simply the absence of light. Let us trust that each of us has our own unique journey, and we cannot know why one person travels one road while another takes a different path or ventures down the road less traveled. Our task is to be a lighthouse and shine brightly with compassion and understanding.
Lucy Pignataro
t a p
Lucy is a passionate and dedicated professional counsellor and therapist who has a deep understanding of the unique challenges that women face. With her warm and empathetic nature, Lucy creates a safe and supportive space for women to explore their emotions and heal from past traumas. Lucy's commitment to her clients is evident in her tailored approach to therapy. She recognizes that every woman's journey is unique, so she takes the time to listen attentively, providing personalized guidance and solutions. letterstothelighthouse
letterstothelighthouse.com.au
WOMEN THRIVE / 29
PSYCHOLOGY
Positive Psychology
Rewriting Your Self-Story by Siobhan Connolly Hogan BATh., MAPP.
"Keep patting yourself on the back for how far you have progressed, get into the habit of being your cheerleader." 30 / WOMEN THRIVE
I
am trying my best to accept my flaws, faults, and failings and be compassionate to my perfectly imperfect self. While feeling extremely grateful to have had the opportunity to return to college, in my late 40s, to study Positive Psychology the science of happiness, well-being, and optimal living. Now, on a mission to spread the invaluable tools and strategies with as many and as varied an audience as possible and help others to thrive & flourish, I create daily social media posts which I hope will inspire, motivate, or comfort someone that needs to see those posts. 25 years experience teaching adolescents. 1st class Masters in Positive Psychology from Buckinghamshire University, England. Experience in designing and running highly successful wellbeing courses for Government bodies in the health sectors and schools. Specialised research on the topics of selfawareness; self-doubt; self-compassion, selfacceptance; positive ageing and strengths psychology. Creator of 12 researched, evidence-based, original, well-being courses all delivered to resounding feedback. Creating and posting motivational messages daily through the social media platforms of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn for more than four years. Keynote speaker for academic and nonSomething that often comes up in my work academic conferences. empowering women is the need to rewrite Quarterly contributor and mentor for many the self-narrative i.e. the story we believe organisations and schools. about ourselves. The fact is we are constantly changing but, for many reasons, we rarely take the time out to reflect and acknowledge the changes we have made and are making. This leaves us at best not honouring ourselves and our growth, and at worst feeling frustrated and resentful, as we struggle to stay true to an outdated, inferior version of Self. As part of my master’s research on positive psychology, I came across ‘narrative psychology’ and, in particular, the evidencebased work of Dan P. McAdams and his seminal book ‘The Stories We Live By’. This book explains that we understand and process everything through story and therefore we need to review and update our self-narrative as we develop. I have found this a real game-changer in helping people to re-set and refocus on living their best imperfect life. >>
"We understand by Krystle Hearley and process everything through story and therefore we need to review and update our self-narrative as we develop."
WOMEN THRIVE / 31
PSYCHOLOGY
I use the example that if I was asked what my favourite colour is, I would automatically revert to my 5-year-old answer – pink - and then have to remind myself that it is currently gold (or any of the metallics, preferably with sparkles)! The fact is we rarely take time to update our likes/dislikes/strengths/weaknesses/values/priori ties etc. All of which affect our life satisfaction. We can often feel unaligned, out of sync, stuck, lost or just unfulfilled and not have a clue what is wrong, so we can end up blaming age, work, other people, the weather, menopause and 'whatever you are having yourself'! I hope you are by now convinced as to the value of just taking a little time to reflect on your self-story. And I offer you some prompts here on some of these core issues which will help you to begin updating your own story. Try to do this honestly, objectively and, as far as you can manage, non-judgementally. Remember this work will benefit you and your happiness, which in turn will benefit all those around you - but it has to start with you being honest with yourself.
"Are you wasting precious time and energy on something way down on your priority list?." 1 / Values
Take a look at this list of examples of common values and try to compile a list of your top 5. Be careful that these are what you truly deem important for yourself, not the ones you think should be, or are adopted from your culture, society, or role …Again, being honest is the only way to begin a catalytic change. Now, over the next few days notice how you are living your life. Is this aligned with your identified values? Are you wasting precious time and energy on something way down on your priority list? While not spending enough quality time on areas you have now deemed as valuable? With all of this in mind, re-evaluate the list and make a final draft. Remember this is just for now, you can do this again in a couple of months.
2 / StrengTHs
The whole area of ‘strengths psychology’ has revealed lots of hope-inducing research since this area has become popular in positive psychology, and for good reason. I even capitalise the TH at the end to signify The Hope, as I believe it holds such power. The truth is, we tend to undervalue our strengths and overvalue our weaknesses and there are lots of reasons for this. So, what are your strengths? For many of us, we reel off the same desirable list we compiled earlier in our lives, for interview situations. There are numerous strength tests one can take to enable you to update your strengths list. Here is the link to the VIA one, which is a great free resource with lots of valuable information on their website on how to capitalize on the results. Working with a strengths coach is beneficial for more in-depth development in this area.
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3 / Achievements
Achievements, like strengths, are often underestimated. We rarely give ourselves the kudos we deserve for how far we have come and all of the hurdles we have jumped. Think about all you have been through this past year or, even, this last couple of challenging years. Try listing all the challenges that you have overcome and all the new skills and abilities you have achieved. Take time to reflect, giving yourself credit for these.
4 / Resources & Advantages
I have to admit there are days when I forget how lucky I am, maybe even slipping into an occasional ‘pity party for one’ or victim mode. Once I become mindfully aware of this, I try to revert to one of my favourite strategies - the never-ending gratitude list… This involves listing out all I am grateful for and usually begins with the usual suspects, such as family, friends, a roof over my head, but before long I am feeling grateful for things like my super-soft feather pillow or my flawed but fabulous challenging child, or the healing of a recent cold sore. it’s incredible what the subconscious stores! This moves me from a feeling of loss/scarcity/not-enoughness to one of abundance and helps me to feel grateful and lucky, which leads to me feeling empowered to move forward with a stronger stride. In short, my energy shifts completely.
5 / Goals (even dream ones)
With this renewed invigorated confidence, we can then dream a bit brighter and set some stretch goals that we may aspire to. Use these powerful coaching questions to start this process: Imagine if you woke up tomorrow and all your stress and limitations had vanished. How would that look? What would you love to do, if you knew failure was not an option? If you had unlimited resources and selfconfidence, what would you dream for yourself? Where would you most like to be in six months, one year from now? What one small step could you take today to help you to get there? I hope in doing this work you will have felt empowered and have a fresh positive view on the wonderful, perfectly imperfect woman you are and how far you have come along your journey. All of the obstacles you have overcome and how you grew through what you’ve been through. Remember that strength comes from the mud and, as Thich Nhat Hanh said, no mud, no lotus. I would give a final word of advice as it's something that has helped me enormously: Keep patting yourself on the back for how far you have progressed, get into the habit of being your cheerleader and even when things go wrong, say: “Wow as bad as that may have been, I handled it much better than I would have x months ago.”
Siobhan Connolly Hogan BATh., MAPP Siobhan, has 25 years’ experience teaching adolescents. 1st class Masters in Positive Psychology from Buckinghamshire University, England. With experience in designing and running highly successful well-being courses for Government Bodies in the health sectors and schools. She has specialised her research on the topics of self-awareness; self-doubt; self-compassion, self-acceptance, positive ageing, and strengths psychology. And has created 12 researched, evidence-based, original, well-being courses, all delivered to resounding feedback. reallifepositivity
sona_real_life_positivity
WOMEN THRIVE / 33
STORY
From Accidental to Intentional
Transforming Your Life Story by Jennifer Regular
D
o you believe you are meant for this world? On some level, I knew that had to be true. That I was here for a purpose. The rest of me felt like a big disappointment to my mother and I did everything I could to try and compensate for being born late in her life. The story I was told from one of my siblings was that our mom thought she was going through menopause (she was in her early forties) and only after 6 months went to the doctor to get checked out. That’s when she found out she was actually pregnant and due to have her fourth child in about 3 months. She did not respond well. Since she had three girls already, who were 13, 17, and 19 at this time, she had hoped I would at least be a boy. As I would later explain to my peers, “I was a girl and we haven’t gotten along since.”
" I was glad I had gathered the courage to share what had been on my mind and the impact it had." 34 / WOMEN THRIVE
" To truly thrive, you have to be able to feel alive." Confronting the Narrative: Is it all just a story? Mom passed away in 2010 and I was very grateful to confront her about this story a few years prior. I shared with her how it made me feel growing up thinking it was an accidental birth, one that was filled with regret and disappointment and that I would forever be a burden. I was glad I had gathered the courage to share what had been on my mind and the impact it had because she told me a different story. Turns out, that wasn’t how she felt and we talked for quite a while after that in a heart-to-heart conversation. I’m so grateful that I got to share that story and learn that that’s all it was. A story. While she never told me she loved me until she was on her death bed, or hugged me back when I would hug her, and would tell me to wait until the commercials came on before I could talk to her, it meant a lot that she at least heard me out on this one.
Embracing Your Life Story as a Catalyst for Growth What’s your life story? The one that has had such a deep, perhaps even unconscious, impact in your life? This could be an important thread and source of what keeps you back from fully showing up in your work, business, and relationships. And, of course, greatly affects your sense of self-worth. To truly thrive, you have to be able to feel alive. To feel worthy of this life. To trust that you are meant to be here. To understand especially, that you are meant to be here during this tumultuous time on earth. Not to be blamed for any of the issues that persist, rather to help be the bridge from old patterns and conditioning to new and elevated ways of being. To embrace your story as a catalyst for growth. Yes, I’m talking to you, Change Maker! You, the thought leader. The one who years ago might have thought you needed to belong. When you couldn’t understand why people didn’t see things or think the way you do. Would you consider that maybe you weren’t meant to blend in or conform into belonging? That maybe you were born to stand out? To carve a new way of being? To blaze a new trail?
" Express from the core essence of the Soul that you are and illuminate the path that elevates you into being the highest version of yourself." Stop doubting your skills, ideas, and abilities, and start recognizing them as strengths. Stop trying to change yourself and start revealing who you truly are! Be okay with knowing you are not everyone’s cup of tea. Express from the core essence of the Soul that you are and illuminate the path that elevates you into being the highest version of yourself. THIS is where you truly get to thrive. To recognize yourself as a sovereign being and act on what you know to be true. You are meant for this world. It’s time to do your part to make it a better one. After hanging up from that conversation from my mom, it was almost like a rebirth. A chance to start fresh in this world with a different understanding of why I was here. That maybe I wasn’t here ‘by accident’. That there was actually a reason for me being here and now I had the rest of my life to figure out what that was. This set me on a new path of purpose, and my passion for life became ignited.
" You are meant for this world. It’s time to do your part to make it a better one." Allowing a New Story to Emerge Now go back and reflect on your life story. How would you like the next chapter to go? What in you has yet to be born? Some Reflective Questions: 1. What story do you keep coming back to in your mind? 2. When do you find yourself doubting your abilities and strength of character? 3. Why do you think you continue to hold onto these beliefs? What would resolve them or give you closure? 4. How do you wish people would see you? 5. What’s one thing you would like to accomplish while living this life? 6. What’s one thing you can do right now to start moving forward on a higher life path? The time has come to start living the life you deserve, not the story you’ve been told. As American Journalist and World Peace Advocate Norman Cousins once said, “The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live.” While your mother gave you birth, you get to create the life you want. Be the person you’ve always known yourself to be. Thrive in what makes you come alive. Allow a new life story to emerge.
Jennifer Regular Jennifer Regular is known as a "Soul Illuminator” and is the Creator of Lighting the Path, a company dedicated to helping business leaders, visionary entrepreneurs and conscious organizations make a positive impact in the world. Jennifer is a Wellness Consultant and Spiritual Guide that specializes in helping you illuminate your unique purpose and implement empowering practices that increase well-being, inspiration, and creativity.
lighting.the.path lightingthepath.ca
WOMEN THRIVE / 35
VOICE
Unleashing Our Voices This Season
In this transformative era of human history, women are rising to power and influence like never before. by Dr. Coylette James
W
e’ve witnessed an unprecedented surge of women taking on high-ranking governmental roles, breaking barriers as C-Suite executives, and leading the way in spiritual spaces. It is a time of empowerment, a time when the world is beginning to recognize and celebrate the immense value that women bring to every facet of society. However, amid this wave of progress, we must acknowledge that there are still countless women who find themselves bound within the confines of their own self-doubt, unable to unleash their true potential and find their voice. It's as if an invisible force stifles their power, silencing their voices whenever they attempt to speak with the strength and authority that they inherently possess. But, dear sisters, it is time to break free from these self-imposed limitations. It is time to reclaim our voices and embrace the power of our womanhood in all its glory. It is time to release the sound of your ROAR! This season is ripe for transformation, and it starts from within.
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One of the most crucial steps is recognizing that our voice matters. Each woman has unique perspectives, experiences, and insights that can enrich the world. Embracing the power of our womanhood means recognizing the strength that lies within us, the strength to challenge the status quo, and the strength to effect positive change.
"It is time to break free from these self-imposed limitations.” Unfortunately, for some of us of a certain age dynamic, we still hear the limiting words that may have been spoken over us in our youth. The idea is that as a woman, you are not valued enough to inject wisdom into the conversation. You might feel because of past situations and circumstances you are not worthy of walking in certain rooms with authority. You question the validity of your own words and feel no one would listen to what you have to say, so why bother?
Allow me to help you change the trajectory of your thought patterns. My sister, you have been fearfully and wonderfully made according to the Word of God. In other words, He took His time in crafting you and placed within you a strength and courage that few other species possess. He endowed you with great wisdom and insight because He knew the world would be in need of your knowledge. Even in the Bible, Wisdom is presented in the feminine reference.
"Embracing the power of our womanhood means recognizing the strength that lies within us, the strength to challenge the status quo, and the strength to effect positive change.”
Proverbs 3:13-18 13 Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding. 14 for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. 15 She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. 16 Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. 17 Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. 18 She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed. As you can see, I am a woman of Faith and believe in divine creation. However, even if you don’t ascribe to the same spiritual beliefs as I do, you still have to know you possess great value. Think about it ladies, you have the ability to produce life. I am not just talking about your ability to give birth to a child, while that is amazing when you are presented with a vision or problem, you have the ability to allow that thing to incubate within you and birth forth the solution. You are truly an incredible being. Ladies, there is a Lioness within you full of courage, strength, and resilience. It is time to rise up, silence the voices that would devalue who you are as a woman, and take your position of authority and let out your sound. The world is waiting! Again, it is time for you to ROAR! Dr. Coylette James is the founder of Lioness Warrior Kingdom INC. Lioness Warrior Kingdom Inc. is a 501(c)(3) organization. But more than that, it is a movement dedicated to creating a world where women are celebrated, empowered, and equipped to fulfill their dreams. We invite individuals and organizations to join us in this mission as we strive to uplift and inspire women to become the courageous, fearless, and unstoppable forces they were created to be. Visit us at www.lionesswarriorkingdom.com
Dr. Coylette James A highly driven woman who was born to break barriers, Dr. Coylette James proves that when powered by purpose, women are unstoppable. She’s built her career brick by brick, fighting fears, failures, and setbacks to have the success she’s always known was hers to claim. Today, she personifies what it means to ascend above adversity while inspiring countless others to do the same. She inspires. She empowers. She unleashes. eldercoylette
lionesswarriorkingdom.com WOMEN THRIVE / 37
STORY
Nobody is Perfect, but We Are All Perfectly Ourselves by Shanice Green
I
magine being a parent, and being told that your 6 year old, eldest child has rare neurological conditions, and if your eldest baby didn’t have brain surgery as soon as possible they wouldn’t be on this earth and have a future? That’s what my parents were told!
" I learned to grow a thick skin but inside I was not as strong." 38 / WOMEN THRIVE
At the age of 7, I (Shanice) had my first of a long list of surgeries, when of course I should have been going to school and living my childhood, carefree and loving life. By the time I was 10 years old, I’d had 11 operations, yes 11 within 3 years. At the age of 10, I ended up paralysed from the neck down, due to a blood clot that formed at the base of my brain. Thankfully, after a successful removal of the blood clot, I am no longer paralysed, however still left in a wheelchair. Growing up as a teenager in a wheelchair wasn’t easy, the stares from others were a daily occurrence, I learned to grow a thick skin but inside I was not as strong, unfortunately. I felt insecure and not comfortable in my own skin. I never felt like I fit in and felt like I was a burden or just in the way. This was my start toward accepting my perfect self. Now looking back, I can definitely say that I suffered with limited belief in myself and depression but I kept the barriers up. However, I now know how I felt then that I’m not alone and others have or are currently feeling the same. At the age of 18, something I thought would never happen, happened. I had my first child and, wow, I felt like the luckiest person alive. Then, ‘mum guilt’ kicked in massively. Could I give my daughter all that she needed? Would she wish, when she was older, that she had an able-bodied mum? Could I even parent right? I had to adapt and do things differently to others, am I doing wrong? These were just a few thoughts that went through my head.
I will be honest, I was beating myself up for nothing because I was a great mum who, yes, did things differently to many but all her baby’s needs were met and more. We adapted and grew together and less than 2 years after having my baby girl, I had a beautiful baby boy and I am so grateful each and every day to be their mummy. It hasn’t always been easy, I had a very rough, and hard pregnancy when I was pregnant with my son. While going through this pregnancy and having an under 2 year old too, I was told by a neurosurgeon that there wasn’t much left they can do for me, which was like a kick in the teeth. But something inside of me clicked and I had this fire in my belly feeling and I knew I had to do something… However long I have left on this earth, I am going to work my butt off to give my babies everything they need for their futures. By having this feeling inside of me, I decided to look into what I can do that not only fits around my children but also worked around my daily chronic pain; the days where I couldn’t lift my head off the pillow, the days where doing simple daily tasks was a challenge and days where life felt like a constant challenge. That was when I found network marketing but, after years of doing that, I realised it wasn’t for me.
"But I can now see the beauty of what’s around me, and every single day, no matter how much of a challenge it may be."
I didn’t have a passion to do it each and every day, but what I did find from this journey, and welcomed with open arms, was personal development. I realised that the way I had gotten through all my life obstacles and struggles was through the power of my mind. That is why I can proudly say that I am now a mindset coach, truly something I am passionate about, helping individuals to create a fulfilling life and accessing their perfect inner power through their mind and belief system. My goal in life is that when I leave this earth, I can look down from heaven above and somebody from below says my name, and others say ‘YES she changed my life’. You see, life isn’t all rainbows and fairies and some days can be tougher than others and yes my life is no exception. I am still in daily chronic pain, and I still have days where I want to scream from the top of my lungs. But I can now see the beauty of what’s around me, and every single day, no matter how much of a challenge it may be, I always express my gratitude, because for now I am alive and I was put on this earth to make a difference. Seeing my clients transform and breakthrough from anxiety, depression, self-esteem issues and so much more, puts not only a smile on my face and tears in my eyes but also helps me know that I have 1000 million percent found my purpose and this is only just the start for Wheel Empower Coaching. So what are you grateful for? Remember we are all enough and all deserve to find out happiness so go be your perfect and true self.
Shanice Green Shanice Green is a transformational and empowerment mindset coach and disability advocate who, after going through numerous brain and spinal surgeries, believes that we all face challenges and obstacles in our lives which is totally normal but through the power of our minds we can all learn techniques and strategies to help us get through them head-on. shanicewheelempower
wheelempowercoaching.podia.com
WOMEN THRIVE / 39
HEALING
W
e all experience trauma at some point in life to smaller or larger degrees. You may or may not know specific traumas first-hand, such as addiction or abuse, yet I am guessing that every one of us is touched by trauma somehow, or someone dear to you has been. What ‘qualifies’ me to passionately attempt to redefine it is, largely, a bucket-load of experiences of it, some studying on it, and an unquenchable thirst for continuing to grow spiritually from it. As an autobiographical and spiritual writer, I have personally reflected that the specific circumstances of what the trauma is, is less pertinent than the rich growth resulting from it.
REDEFINING TRAUMA
Discovering the Empowering Gifts Within It by Stella Grace Allen
" An invitation to inspire the appropriate acknowledgment of trauma, then a new, reframed story of empowerment." Whilst we would never choose to go through traumatic experiences or wish them upon anyone, without the deep lows and inward journeys they can instil on our healing paths, we wouldn’t have the opportunity to grow beyond them in our human experience of survival and evolution. This does not minimise or deny anyone their experience or pain, quite the opposite. Here lies an invitation to inspire the appropriate acknowledgment of trauma, then a new, reframed story of empowerment. Perhaps you empathize with the tragic concepts touched on in these pages, and have the same compassion for all who experience them, as I do. However, my ultimate hope is you consider a redefinition of the healing journey, however trauma has touched your life.
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I approach the concept of redefining trauma, by embracing these three developmental notions. Trauma explains the event and the shock state we feel after it, trauma does not define you as a person. The power of language about trauma can connect us with a sense of hope and belonging but if unchecked and collaborative with unhealed aspects of others, it can hinder development. We can use memory as a tool of evolution, instead of a tool for recreation of more trauma or fear-based survival states.
Trauma Does Not Define You As A Person - ‘ The word ‘trauma’ originates from the 17th Century Greek meaning, literally, ‘wound’. One certainty within our existence is that wounds happen. Although, how one specific trauma, such as job loss, affects two people will be different, shaping individual experience and growth. The Power of Language – Following traumas we can connect deeply with a sense of belonging by sharing our voices, ‘I have experienced domestic abuse’, for example. These are powerful moments for trauma survivors to adopt the courage and strength to speak out, make sense of the experience, heal, and find new, healthy networks. A Ted Talk by journalist, Johann Hari (2015) titled, ‘Everything You Think You Know About Addiction Is Wrong’, introduces research regarding substance abuse that, “the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it is connection”. I suggest these findings aptly recognise the power of human connection on any healing journey. The next steps empoweringly encompass growing beyond any connections based on that traumatic experience, either through language or shared experience. Without denying or discrediting our pain, we raise trauma up into consciousness, then grow beyond it. This embraces deep levels of trust and connection within ourselves and, in turn, others who are healing influences.
Stella Grace Allen Stella Grace Allen has been teaching and later practising Reiki since 2016. She is a qualified Aromatherapist, Massage Therapist, Astrologer, Intuitive Tarot Card Reader, and Writer. She loves working with people of all ages and backgrounds and prior to her career in Holistic Therapies, she worked supporting young people in community services for 15 years. stellagraceholistics
stellagraceholistics.com
If repeatedly identifying with and using language such as, ‘I was abused’, we hold the weight of experiences of being abused but also the weight of unhealed abusive experiences of the whole human race! Yes, a big concept possibly sounding strange at first but simply a matter of frequency… Ever noticed how certain songs bring your vibe down with lyrics of heartache and suffering? This milder example underpins the same premise of frequency and epigenetics. We feel better when we understand experiences, and consciously raise our energy beyond them.
" Without denying or discrediting our pain, we raise trauma up into consciousness, then grow beyond it." Dr. Joe Dispenza (2014) explains how epigenetics studies show making changes in human consciousness (using thoughts, feelings, and our environments) produces changes in the human body. This works positively or negatively depending on what level of consciousness (or what thoughts, feelings, and environments) we choose. Using memory as a tool of evolution. Currently, memory is often used unconsciously, recreating traumatic experiences and responses either by engaging with familiarity, or fearful avoidance of situations altogether. Example: we eat a poisonous mushroom, are inevitably violently sick, and naturally don’t eat those mushrooms again. If we identify the mushroom itself as the trauma, rather than our ability to navigate avoiding that particular mushroom, we maintain a trauma response. Alternatively, using memory to evolve keeps us safe from danger but also keeps us developing. In the example, the mushroom caused trauma but we don’t have to defensively avoid all mushrooms and those environments, nor would we blindly keep eating them! We evolve from the memory of events but most importantly, the meaning of our power in subsequently navigating differently. An interpersonal example: not avoiding all relationships because of previous abuse, nor entering new relationships and ignoring red flags. We create memory of past and present, yet memory also serves us to learn and grow. However trauma has touched you, I send you all the healing, love, and compassion you deserve. I also invite you to redefine your experiences as tools to grow from and create the life of your fullest potential and most fulfilling dreams.
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MINDSET
A
common struggle in women is the struggle for Self - for being seen, and acknowledged for who we are at the very heart of us. Being an individual inherently implies embracing one's uniqueness. Throughout history, countless narratives recount how individuals with artistic or literary talents had to overcome their challenging childhood experiences to ultimately achieve success. However, this journey of Selfdiscovery can often resemble the essence of Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tale, The Ugly Duckling, reflecting the protagonist's own life experiences.
The Struggle for
Self
by Karen Curran
The Ugly Duckling serves as an allegory for the rejection faced by a child who is deemed to have been ‘born in the wrong nest’, or who possesses abilities different from those of their peers or siblings. Their caregivers may struggle to comprehend or accept these differences, leaving the child feeling isolated and disconnected from their surroundings. This sense of being different from their siblings or playmates can lead them to feel misplaced and misunderstood, resulting in certain aspects or Parts of their true Self being concealed or lost. This can cause lifelong effects that can be either something the child embraces as strengths, or rejects, with Parts becoming hidden in the shadow of Self. And the struggle for Self is pushed to the background, or comes to the surface to be recognised and for a way through to be found.
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Embracing individuality demands embracing one's differences and recognising the potential for greatness that lies within those unique qualities. Like the journey of the Ugly Duckling, it requires patience traversing the path of Self-discovery and acceptance. There is an inner conflict. However, only by embracing their own uniqueness can individuals fully realise their potential and find their place in the world, much like the beautiful swan that emerges from the awkward ‘duckling’. Each person's journey of reclaiming in the struggle for Self includes self-realization discovered within a tale of growth, resilience, and finding one's true identity in a world that may not always understand or appreciate their differences.
Children instinctively adapt to their surroundings to ensure survival. In the tale of the Ugly Duckling, the protagonist conceals their true Self and emotions, almost entering a state of hibernation or dissociation, all in the pursuit of pleasing others and securing their own well-being. As they mature, they begin to reflect on their life, yearning for something more profound – to be acknowledged, understood, and validated as their genuine selves, without being confined by others' expectations or perceptions. Regrettably, in reality, many individuals ignore the struggle for Self and suppress their inherent abilities or talents to conform and be accepted by their families or society. They bury their unique qualities, and these ‘differences’ remain hidden from the world. However, there comes a point when these repressed talents or abilities demand to be recognised and acknowledged. This inner conflict arises because a part of them, akin to soul loss - or Parts/Soul loss - has been disregarded or forgotten, patiently awaiting reclamation and restoration.
The intriguing aspect depicted in this story is that such a situation need not solely result from significant trauma; it can emerge from not being perceived or acknowledged as an individual with their own distinct gifts, skills or abilities, and worth. For many women, there is not only the struggle to succeed in business or in life but also the struggle to be seen as who they really, truly are. The struggle for Self-restoration and reclamation is real. And if this does not happen, then they feel that something is missing from their life - either consciously or unconsciously. Life continues to be a struggle.
Self-realization and Self-acceptance is an essential part of our growth and fulfillment. And that can only occur from within and a sense of surrendering to finding Self. No one can do it for us.
" Self-acceptance is an essential part of our growth. "
"Many individuals ignore the struggle for Self and suppress their inherent abilities or talents to conform and be accepted by their families or society." This narrative of The Ugly Duckling emphasizes the human struggle to want to be authentically seen as who they are, to break free from the masks taken on for survival and societal acceptance. It speaks to the profound importance of Selfdiscovery and the recognition of one's true essence, even when it might challenge the status quo or elicit discomfort. Ultimately, the journey towards
In the journey to Reclamation of the Self, the Soul undergoes a struggle to reclaim the fragmented aspects that have either been lost due to a traumatic event, taken away or intentionally safeguarded often by the individuals themselves. There are a number of different ways that this may happen. The person senses an emptiness within themselves. They hear faint whispers, echoes of their former Self as a child, compelling them to explore further. They embark on a journey of remembrance, seeking to reunite with those fragmented parts they had hidden away or sent into safekeeping, with the intent of becoming whole once more. And, dear reader, anything is possible when the Self feels restored. The inner journey is a journey less traveled, to re-claim and re-store Self. But the wondrous benefits could include: - a sense of fulfillment - a sense of knowing one’s true purpose - steady confidence in one-Self - the ability to recognise synchronicities - the ability to access creative solutions as needed - an inner sense of hope - a further sense of empowerment
Karen Curran Karen is a transpersonal therapist, artist, and storyteller, based in Australia. Karen helps women and children access their innate gifts and abilities in order to Self-empower, inner heal, and find creative possibilities in solutions. Karen’s aim is to inspire and encourage. Having spent decades in denial of who she really was due to trauma, Karen uses her lived experience and hones her knowledge and skills to help others to go forward. A creative at heart. karencurran_theheartofus
karencurran.com
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HEALTH
Dysbiosis
by Melissa Rose
L
iving inside of you and on you are trillions of microorganisms (a few pounds worth!), including bacteria, fungi, parasites, and viruses. This community of microorganisms and their DNA, which outnumbers ours, is called a microbiome. You have a microbiome on your skin, in your mouth, on your organs, essentially everywhere in and on your body. However, the microbiome that has been getting the most attention recently is the gut microbiome and its impact on your overall health and wellbeing. Why? It has a symbiotic relationship with the host - you! Meaning that both the microbes and your body benefit from their interactions. The health of your gut determines what nutrients you absorb and what toxins, allergens, and microbes are kept out. Gut health is directly linked to the health of your entire body!
Within your digestive system, there are many strains of bacteria, most of them are beneficial (good bacteria) while some are harmful (bad bacteria). As long as the amount of beneficial bacteria is kept high in the body and the immune system is kept strong, then populations of potentially harmful bacteria are typically kept under control. However, the typical American modern diet and lifestyle can imbalance beneficial bacteria to the point that harmful bacteria flourish and wreak all sorts of havoc on the body, from constipation to behavioral problems, to IBS, to a compromised immune system, to cancer... In fact, many people struggle with dysbiosis, an imbalance of microbes in the digestive tract that can lead to a whole host of health ailments and diseases. These low-virulence microbes are insidious. They cause ongoing inflammatory symptoms that almost always go undiagnosed and, if untreated, they become deep-seated and cause chronic health problems such as: Fatigue Joint Pain Anxiety/Depression Bloating Constipation or Diarrhea (or alternating of both) Skin Issues Yeast Infections Brain Fog Hormone Imbalances And more
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The most common forms of dysbiosis include; Candida overgrowth: fungal overgrowth SIBO: Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth IMO: Intestinal Methanogen Overgrowth H. Pylori: Bacterial overgrowth in the stomach There are multiple methods for combating dysbiosis. The approach that’s taken is determined by the type of overgrowth and the client’s unique disposition and lifestyle. One of the most important things you can do to combat bacterial overgrowth is to stop feeding the invader. Making time to eat in a calm environment, properly chewing food, and drinking only sips and not gulps of water during meals helps ensure robust digestive secretions are available to break down foods. The choice of food can also matter greatly, especially with dysbiosis. Each person’s body needs a diet that’s unique to them, but in general, a diet low in sugar and refined carbs (watch the ingredient list in processed foods! Most have sugar included) and high in fiber, improves stool transit time and is incredibly beneficial in growing diverse beneficial gut flora. This can look like ample vegetables, proteins, healthy oils and fats, nuts and seeds, and whole fruits.
"One of the most important things you can do to combat bacterial overgrowth is to stop feeding the invader."
While diet plays an enormous role in healing the gut microbiome, natural herbs, and plant extracts can help to rebalance overgrowths and heal your gut. Whether you’re experiencing fungal overgrowth, SIBO/IMO, or H. Pylori, each infection requires its own use of specific herbs to combat it. Working with a skilled healthcare practitioner is important when addressing dysbiosis and the gut microbiome with herbs and other supplements. If you suspect you have a microbial overgrowth and would like support bringing your gut back into balance, schedule your application call with our team!
Melissa Rose Melissa Rose is a committed investigative partner to individuals who have chronic or autoimmune conditions. As a result of her own journey with Multiple Sclerosis, diagnosis, and recovery, she provides empathetic, highlypersonalized care. Her goal is to support, educate and empower individuals to become well again. sagebrushwellness
sagebrushwellness.com
WOMEN THRIVE / 45
MINDSET
“When we bring positivity to our workspace, it enhances our problemsolving abilities, encourages collaboration, and boosts our overall productivity.
I
n the hustle and bustle of our modern lives, finding equilibrium between work and personal life can often feel like an unattainable goal. Yet, amid the chaos, one timeless principle stands out as a guiding light: the power of positive thinking. As a coach dedicated to enhancing work-life balance, let's delve into how harnessing the magic of positivity can transform our lives.
The Mindset Shift Positive thinking is not just a fleeting smile or a forced affirmation; it's a profound shift in mindset. When we consciously choose to see challenges as opportunities for growth and setbacks as stepping stones, we lay the foundation for a balanced existence. This mindset shift empowers us to navigate the demands of work while still cherishing the joys of life beyond the office walls. A Ripple Effect The power of positive thinking is not limited to a singular impact - it creates a ripple effect that resonates across all facets of our lives. When we bring positivity to our workspace, it enhances our problem-solving abilities, encourages collaboration, and boosts our overall productivity. Similarly, infusing our personal life with optimism strengthens our relationships, enriches our leisure activities, and fosters a sense of fulfillment.
g n i k n i h T e v i t i s Po
The Power of
by Jen Schwytzer
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Embracing Resilience Work-life balance is not about eliminating stress; it's about building resilience in the face of it. Positive thinking equips us with the mental tools needed to cope with adversity. Rather than allowing stress to take over, we learn to channel it into productive energy. When we view challenges as temporary hurdles, we can muster the strength to persevere and grow. Cultivating Gratitude Gratitude is a cornerstone of positive thinking. By acknowledging and appreciating the small joys in our daily lives, we shift our focus from what's lacking to what's abundant. As a result, our overall well-being improves, making the pursuit of worklife balance feel less like a struggle and more like a joyful journey. Download Your FREE Gratitude Worksheet Here. Practical Steps Integrating positive thinking into our lives requires practice and intention. Start by setting aside a few minutes each day for reflection and gratitude. Keep a journal to jot down the positive moments you've experienced, both at work and in your personal life. When faced with challenges, reframe your thoughts to focus on solutions rather than dwelling on problems.
“The power of positive thinking is not a mere catchphrase - it's a transformative philosophy”
Balancing Act It's important to acknowledge that achieving a perfect work-life balance is unrealistic. Life is dynamic, and our commitments fluctuate. However, through the power of positive thinking, we can navigate these fluctuations with grace. When work demands more of our time, we can find satisfaction in knowing that our positive outlook will help us make the most of our personal moments once the workload eases. The power of positive thinking is not a mere catchphrase - it's a transformative philosophy that has the potential to reshape our relationship with work and life. By embracing positivity, we empower ourselves to thrive in the face of challenges, cultivate gratitude, and ultimately strike a harmonious balance between our professional and personal spheres. So, let's embark on this journey of self-discovery and embrace the immense power that positive thinking brings to our lives. Need support to do so? Book Your FREE Introduction Call Here to determine if I can help!
Jen Schwytzer Jen is a certified Life Coach and launched KINDfulness Coaching to help professionals ditch chronic stress, overwhelm, and burnout to establish calm, productive order in women's life and in business. Jen has 17 years of experience as a social worker in both the medical and mental health arena which allows her to bring a unique experience to her coaching practice. Jen has won the Award for Excellence in Outstanding Social Work from the University of Rochester Medical Center and continues to provide mental health education through partnerships with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. /kindfulness_coaching
kindfulnesscoaching.com
WOMEN THRIVE / 47
LIFESTYLE
G
aslighting is a malicious and insidious form of psychological manipulation and emotional abuse. The term originates from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, in which a husband systematically manipulates his wife into believing she is losing her mind, in part by dimming the gas lights in their home and then denying it when she points it out. The goal of gaslighting is to methodically destabilize the victim's sense of reality, memory, and sanity through confusion, deception, and lying. By continually doubting the victim's perception of events and undermining their judgment, gaslighters reinforce an alternate version of reality that serves their own interests and power. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), common gaslighting techniques include withholding information, discrediting independent sources, trivializing concerns, and outright denial or misdirection. Through persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and misinformation, gaslighters progressively break down the victim's trust in their own mind, effectively isolating them and making them more compliant. Gaslighting inflicts immense psychological and emotional damage that can last long after the abusive relationship ends.
Are You Experiencing Gaslighting? by Asia Jamil 48 / WOMEN THRIVE
Signs of Gaslighting There are several techniques gaslighters use to distort the truth and gain control: Denial Gaslighters will outright deny accusations, facts, or events - even when presented with evidence. For example, if their partner confronts them about flirting with someone else, they may insist: "That never happened. You must be imagining things." Similarly, if questioned about a missed appointment, they may firmly state: "I never said I'd be there. You must have remembered wrong." Deflection When faced with uncomfortable accusations, gaslighters will deflect and change the subject to avoid taking responsibility. For instance, if confronted with their own forgetfulness, a gaslighter may retort: "You're the one with the terrible memory, not me." Or during an argument about their temper, deflect by saying: "You're the one who needs anger management, not me." Deception Gaslighters have no qualms about blatantly lying, even if their statements directly contradict previous ones. They will confidently make false statements like "I already told you I was going out tonight", when they had never mentioned plans. Or they may fabricate information like: "My friend James can back up where I was last night." Minimizing Abusers may make light of the victim's thoughts, feelings, or experiences through dismissive comments like "You're overreacting over a little mess" or "It wasn't that big of a deal that I forgot your birthday." This form of invalidation and exaggeration erodes the victim's sense of self-worth.
“ Gaslighting can lead to increased anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms.”
Effects of Gaslighting Being the continual target of gaslighting distortions can have severe psychological impacts that permeate all aspects of the victim’s life, both during and after the abusive relationship. Gaslighting can lead to increased anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms, and other mental health issues. The victim may experience panic attacks, insomnia, exaggerated startle response, or obsessive fixating on the situation as part of the trauma response. Victims often suffer from plummeting self-confidence and self-esteem due to the continual invalidation and attacks on their character and judgment. "I began to feel worthless like I couldn't do anything right," one victim described. Gaslighting can create an unhealthy codependency where the victim feels compelled to continually seek approval from the abuser. Victims may paradoxically cling to the relationship because deep down they hope the gaslighter will go back to being the idealized person they posed as initially. In many cases, victims become isolated from friends and family because the gaslighter actively separates them from other support systems in order to further the manipulation. The victim may also feel shame about the situation and withdraw socially. Gaslighting leads victims to constantly question their own sanity and perception of reality. They begin to distrust their own memories, judgments, and capabilities. "I started worrying that maybe I really was losing my mind," explained one victim. This loss of psychological stability can last for years after escaping the abusive relationship. >>
WOMEN THRIVE / 49
LIFESTYLE
How to Respond to Gaslighting If you suspect you are being gaslit, there are ways to resist the manipulation: Keep a detailed journal documenting events, statements made, dates, and times. Write down actual quotes when possible. Reviewing this record can help counterbalance the distortions and manipulations by providing evidence of facts. Confide in one or more trusted friends or family members who know you well. Their more objective perspective and insights into your normal behavior can validate your point of view. They can provide an important reality check when you start to internalize the gaslighter's distortions. Make a list of your core strengths, principles, and accomplishments. Revisit it when you start doubting yourself. Seek professional counseling support from a psychologist, therapist, or support group experienced with gaslighting and emotional abuse recovery. Through validation, coping techniques, and rebuilding self-esteem, they can help you regain lost confidence and independent judgment. Be very clear with the gaslighter about what specific behaviors you will and will not tolerate. Follow through on enforcing these boundaries, which may ultimately mean ending the relationship entirely. Protecting your mental health and emotional well-being should be the priority.
Escaping a Gaslighting Relationship In many cases, the healthiest way to stop the abuse is to end the relationship entirely. Make a safe exit plan for leaving. This may involve gathering documents, financial resources, and a place to stay. Cut off contact with the gaslighter. This may help break the manipulative hold and re-establish a sense of reality. Seek counseling to process the trauma. Skilled therapists can help identify patterns and rebuild self-worth. Lean on support systems. Friends and family can reinforce that the abuse was real and help you heal. Rediscover joy, passions, and interests. Pursuing life on your own terms is a powerful act of reclaiming your autonomy. Gaslighting can inflict serious psychological damage, but understanding the signs, finding support, and trusting your own judgment again can help escape the manipulation. You have the right to live free from distorting abuse, safely determining your own reality.
Asia Jamil Asia Jamil is a dedicated journalist, focused on women's issues. She began writing about sexual assault and women's health in college. Asia is passionate about amplifying women's voices and bringing ignored issues into mainstream coverage. She strives to write empathetically about women from all backgrounds. In her career, she advocates for more equitable news coverage and encourages young women to pursue journalism. twitter.com/jamil_eiman
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