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The Blessing TAKEOVER by Candy LaFlora
In this final quarter of 2020, my prayer has been: “Lord, open my eyes!” Psalm 119:18 says, “Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law.” Recently, while praying, I heard these words in my spirit: “The Blessing Takeover!” As we begin to move into the latter part of 2020 going forward into 2021, a Blessing Takeover is coming to the people who know their God. Just as God brought great wealth into the life of Abraham, so shall it be to the people who know their God! Say this: Lord, enlarge my vision! I want a Blessing Takeover! 5
This is not a hostile takeover. This takeover is a turning over to God, a yielding to Him—allowing Him to release the Blessing to do in your life what the Blessing does best! What the Blessing does best is to bring you an unlimited supply of the power of God. The Blessing at work in your life produces a life without limitations. Therefore, the Blessing Takeover is a complete surrendering to the instruction of the Lord to do only what He leads and guides you to do so the Blessing can “take over” and work without hindrance in your life!
The Blessing Takeover begins from a place of humility. In that place, you’re not even focused on the Blessing—your focus is on pleasing the Lord. You aren’t seeking what He can do for you or trying to manipulate Him for what He can make happen in your life. Instead, you are desiring Him and His presence to consume, control, and fully occupy your life (see Ephesians 3:10 AMPC). Your prayer in that posture begins by saying with sincerity: “Lord, have Your way in my life. Have Your way in my children, in my job, in my career, and in my assignment from You. Have your way in my husband; have your way in this country; have your way in my church.”
In order to experience the Blessing Takeover in 2021, we must position ourselves to allow God to speak to us. Then we must commit to obey whatever He tells us to do.
When you allow the Lord to have His way in a situation, you are not trying to control it or to dictate what you want Him to do. No, your approach is, “Before I even begin, Lord, I need to hear from You. I don’t want to cross the starting line without getting Your directions first!”
You may think you have already done this. But take a moment to retrace your day and this past week. Did you really allow God to have control over your life? Did you follow His leading, or did you take control and then ask God to bless whatever you chose to do? That is not the position of surrender, and it will not give place to the Blessing. 6
Surrender gives you access to the Blessing Takeover. From the very beginning, stop and say, “God, I thank you that the Blessing of
Dr. Fanchion B. The GPW Reset 2020 Retreat provided a framework of spiritual principles guaranteed to transform our lives. Personal declarations, debunking the myths and false beliefs deposited in our mind from negative life experiences were emboldening and empowering. Tammie P. The Phenomenal Woman Reset Retreat 2020 was an exuberant experience for me. I feel more refreshed and confident to move forward with the ministry that God has called me to. Pastor Candy’s vision, passion and love for ministry to women is a blessing and I’m grateful for her obedience to host such a dynamic event. Angie R. The GPW RESET Retreat was necessary and such a blessing. So many lives were changed including mine. God is truly amazing! Stevelyn D. The GPW Reset Retreat was absolutely Fabulous from beginning to end! The atmosphere was set and I came expecting a lifter of my past and a reset to my future! I received that much and more! Jackie R. It was exactly what I needed to catapult me into the next season of my life. AWESOME WORD!!! Inza D. God’s Phenomenal Woman Reset Conference was Amazing !!! I thoroughly enjoyed the prayer time and I always enjoy Candy’s anointed singing . I could identify with Dr. Freeman because at my age, I too, have gone back to school, doubting that I could do it, to obtain my Doctorate Degree. She really encouraged me. Looking forward to the next conference. 12
The Gift
That Really Does Keep On
Giving
by Joyce Meyer
When it comes to giving gifts, we usually think about things we can buy for family and friends that they will enjoy. But I’ve discovered that the best gift I can give the people in my life isn’t something I can find in a store. The best gift I can give them is a healthy me. So I want to ask you: What is your attitude toward yourself? Do you like yourself? These are important questions to honestly consider because when people don’t like themselves, it causes problems in every relationship they have. I spent many years not liking myself, and even had some self-hatred and self-rejection. My father sexually abused me throughout my childhood, and for a long time, I felt shame because I thought it was my fault – that he did those things to me because something was wrong with me.
...their ignorance is not your fault.
But I eventually realized that it was not my fault. And I want you to know that if someone has devalued you, mistreated you, misjudged you, or done something that has left you wounded, their ignorance is not your fault. I also want to encourage you to forgive them, because if you don’t, it will only give them power over your life and keep you from being what God has created you to be.
Before I realized the real root of my problem, I was a very frustrated Christian. I studied the Bible and saw how God wants us to love others – that we should forgive those who hurt us, consider others before ourselves, be merciful and gracious – but I couldn’t do it. The truth is we 20
Godly Wisdom
in Family Matters by Taffi Dollar
Another holiday season is upon us, and with it another opportunity to model God’s wisdom to our children. With all the Thanksgiving turkey dinners and Christmas shopping, it can be easy to lose our focus on the really important things, like giving thanks for what God has blessed us with and celebrating Jesus’ birth. At times like these, it’s even more important for parents to focus on applying the wisdom of God in our families. When we consider all the jobs the world considers important, many moms and dads put parenting at the top of the list. Being a parent can be one of the most difficult—and rewarding—responsibilities we ever have. It’s sobering to consider how much influence we have on our children, and how quickly time passes when we’re instilling values we want them to have for the rest of their lives. Thankfully, we don’t have to do this on our own; God is available to help any time we ask. Our heavenly Father knows all about godly wisdom; there’s no age limit when it comes to this spiritual gift. Once when Jesus was a boy, He demonstrated this powerfully when He traveled with His family to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover holiday. He got separated from His family and was later found in the temple, teaching the adults; however, despite all He knew, He was still humble enough to obey His earthly parents (Luke 2:41-51, NIV). The Holy Spirit gave Jesus this wisdom; as parents, we need this as well. The world has plenty of child-rearing advice, but not all of it will give us the results we want. Wading through all the “dos” and “don’ts” can be confusing if we try to follow guidelines that change every few years. However, raising children according to God’s Word gives them what they need to find the right path in life. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). One of the things we must learn is that sometimes it’s okay to say “no.” This word can be unpopular in some parenting circles, but we’ve all 25
seen the unfortunate results of children who were raised by overly-permissive parents. Godly wisdom in this area helps us avoid being like the mother of Zebedee’s children, who took it upon herself to command Jesus to let her sons sit at God’s right hand and His left hand (Matthew 20:20-28). There’s a fine line between helping and hindering our children. Letting them learn to make their own decisions is another way to incorporate godly wisdom in family matters. Being a helicopter parent may be our way of trying to control all aspects of our child’s environment to ensure their safety, but fear is the motivation behind this tendency. As our kids grow, loving them enough to teach them decision-making skills requires a refusal to allow our fears to cause us to jump in and make their decisions for them. “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). Having a sound mind includes self-control on our part. Making life too easy for our kids is something else we must guard against; this takes away their will to do things for themselves. There’s a difference between a child who is unable to do something yet, and one who’s unwilling to even try. It’s okay if they make a mistake; that’s part of learning something new. When they flounder at first, we should never worry about what others think of our parenting skills. “The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe” (Proverbs 29:25). We can’t be successful parents without God’s guidance. The good news is that He loves our children even more than we do; we can certainly trust Him for their well-being and development. We’re all weak in one area or another, but God gives us the grace to get the job done. “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9, NLT). None of us are perfect, but when we rely on Him to come alongside us as we raise our kids, we’ll succeed at any time of the year. —Taffi Dollar
LIVING
MYPURPOSE FILLED LIFE!
by Pastor Sonjia Dickerson
Do you want to be excited about getting up each morning and look forward to your tasks for that day? Well you can be when you’re walking in your purpose! When I’m living a purpose filled life I am motivated and excited about the opportunities I have ahead of me. Purpose is a person’s sense of resolve or determination to to accomplish certain tasks or to reach a certain goal. An individual purpose is not always understood by others, but it’s always understood by God because He created each of us and put purpose on the inside of us from the very beginning! Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. The same way God knew Jeremiah from the very start and ordained he be a prophet there is a purpose for your life that God had on His mind when He created you. God has plans for you. Jeremiah 29: 11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. How do I find my purpose? Pray! Prayer is a conversation with God. You don’t have to be in a particular place or say particular words but you must pray. When you hear God things will change around you. You will see clearer past the distractions and obstacles that often come to defeat us. The people in 30
A Single Christmas © Sher LaDieu
The Christmas lights looked like shimmering gems through the rain on my windshield. A light splatter, it mirrored the tear drops in my soul. The dry garage welcomed me, and the house was dark and quiet. Warm pajamas, a candle and my Bible, I started the fire in the fireplace and sat on the floor. The candles we held up at the Christmas Eve service earlier felt like suspended magic that illuminated peace. I stood with my candle raised singing “Silent Night”, the darkness of the room like a blanket of belonging, enveloped me. If only it could last longer, to sing another song. But here I am alone, on Christmas Eve. I wonder if anyone noticed me when we extinguished the candles and the lights came on. Most families were discussing their plans for the evening, and a few broke their conversation to say, “Bye.” I stared at the fire. I felt lonely while the flames flicker gently waved. I hugged my knees and my eyes swelled with tears. “Silent Night” became silent cry. Chest heaving, my eyes caught the dancing glimmer across my Bible. With a slow reach, I brought it to my heart, and whispered, “I am not alone.” An inaudible voice rose up from within and whispered back, “I am right here.” In that sweet moment I let the tears fall and listened. “You are my adored daughter and I love you. Didn’t I say, ‘I will never leave you?’ I am with you tonight, beside you. Do not think you are forgotten, for I see you, and you are precious in my sight. You are my beautiful daughter who brings me joy. This moment in time I planned that I might wrap my arms around you. I am your loving father who delights in all of who you are. Take comfort in my perfect love.” With an inhale, I felt the Lord’s presence like gentle ocean waves. Peace washed over me; tears slowed. The feeling of aloneness melted. Then, again, 36
inaudible words began to rise – “My thoughts and plans for you are good, to give you a hope and a future. Have I not promised? I have much in store for you. I’ve heard your prayers. Life’s journey takes many roads; stay close to me and watch me unfurl your path.” The joy of the Lord filled my body like a spring breeze and rest settled my mind. A smile appeared through wet blinks and soaked cheeks, as the realization of this tender moment sunk in. I felt hopeful. Who else, with all their plans, is having a peaceful exchange of love with Jesus in the glow of a fireplace? He planned this evening to be with me. I felt empowered. And then, from somewhere deep within, and I found myself speaking the truth of the Word, as if to prophesy to myself: “I am loved and beautiful. I am the head and not the tail, above and not beneath. I have a future. I am a woman of purpose. He knows my secret dreams and has plans to bless me. I wear royal robes. My ways are pleasing to the Lord and he directs my paths. I am never alone and I have words of kindness that bless those around me. I have a future and a hope.” Many years have passed since that rainy Christmas Eve, and with a heart of gratitude, I can say, “He is true to his word.” By his providence and goodness, I have seen many dreams come to pass. Through our journey, he is a faithful, loving father who yearns to hold our hand. And no matter our age or station in life, his plans are to be trusted with gleeful anticipation. He fashioned us from the womb and has a path for us to follow until we breath our last. For people who are single, divorced or widowed, the holidays can feel lonely because not everyone has family. 37
Press THROUGH THE Storm
by Judge Ieshia Gray
In March of this year, this country was turned upside down. As businesses shut down and families stayed in the home, many of us struggled with the fear of the unknown. I know I am not alone when I say thoughts of my finality, humanness, and mortality pervaded my thoughts. Yet, I knew I had to press on; but how do we find the strength to press through the storm? Because if it is not Covid-19, life has shown me that there WILL be storms.
when life throws you the unexpected, the devastating, and the unplanned, do you find the strength to press through the storm? Number one, you must have faith. For someone who is in despair, it can be the hardest thing to continue to have faith. When your soul cries, that is when you must turn to God. When Elijah left this earth, it was a sermon from the pulpit that healed my soul. You cannot give up. You must continue to turn to God and know that he has the ultimate design for your life.
For me, one of my biggest challenges in life has been dealing with the loss of my unborn child, Elijah. For eighteen weeks, I carried him in my womb. I sang to him at night, whispered to him in the mornings, and loved on him even before he was born. When my water broke, I knew I would never be the same. I couldn’t get time back to change what was happening.
Number two, you must move. Move, in every sense of the word. Move your body. Move your mind. Press through the storms of life. When you just want to lay there and wallow in your brokenness, that is when you must use every strength in your body, to get up! Take a walk. Let the peace of God’s creations remind you of how blessed it is to breathe in the air, to place one foot in front of the other, to be.
No amount of pleas to God would change the fact that I would have to deliver him still unformed and not ready for this world. So how 58
Move your mind. Make a commitment to only focus your mind on the positive. There is power in your thoughts. For me, it meant saying to myself, that I am a mother and I will hear my children’s laughter. Even when the doctor had no hope, I would continue to say, I am a mother and I will hear my children’s laughter. Your mind can change your reality. Move your mind toward the positive. When you change your thoughts, you will see the manifestation of that change in your life. Lastly, you must know that God is there. God is here even now. During our storms, God is still there. Do you remember the story
of Elijah in I Kings, Chapter 19? Remember how Elijah ran in fear for his life and hid in the caves and there he found God, a soft whisper letting him know that everything was going to be ok. It was that sermon that was preached after I lost Elijah that healed my heart. I knew God was telling me then that everything would be ok. So now, when I hold my son and daughter at night, my spirit rejoices, because I know God was always there, even through my storms and he is still here now, letting us know that everything is going to be ok. No matter your storm, stay encouraged. Press through and know that God is with you.
Judge Ieshia Gray
10 Ways to Recognize a Good Guy by Stephanie Imani LaFlora-Sinish
yourself that lie you should slap yourself and read this article. No, but seriously, stop trying. Please! Your happiness depends on it. Have you ever looked up and said what on earth am I doing here? I should have, would have, could have …! I’d bet my 401K that it had something to do with a guy … a bad guy.
Now this may not be for everyone, but for me these are 10 non-negotiables that have led me to a pretty awesome relationship. I know some of you will immediately notice I didn’t put “faith” as a bullet point, but sometimes I think we spend more time looking for superficial religious clues than we do for signs of character and integrity. Yes, he needs to be a man who has faith in God, but the quality of his faith is more likely to be found in how he treats you and others rather than the church he attends. So, check out these 10 tips for finding a good guy, then let us know if you agree — or disagree.
2. His Kindness Holds Up Under Pressure It’s easy to be a nice guy when you get your way, but the ultimate test comes when you have a right to “go there.” However a man treats the people around him, he will eventually treat you. You don’t want a man that is just nice to you, or disrespects other women but treats you differently. As soon as you tell him no, you’ll be on the bad end of his personality. Easy things to observe: how he deals with an aggressive stranger, how he deals with a family member he doesn’t get along with. How does his personality hold up
1. He Was a Good Guy When You Met Him Now ladies, please read this twice. You cannot make a bad boy a good boy no matter how hard you try. Every time you tell 62
when he disagrees with you? 3. He Offers to Help Others When There’s Nothing in It for Him This is the best selfishness indicator. Does he help people simply because they need help, or does he look for ‘I Owe You’s’? When he does a nice gesture for you, does he expect you to return the favor? His motivation should be based solely on a desire to make you happy. 4. He Feels Honored to Be with You So many men attempt to make women feel that they are lucky to be with them, but this should definitely be the other way around. I know some men would contest that statement, but it’s true. Honor me and I will honor you. When two good people get together, no ones needs are unmet; you both reciprocate equally. His manhood isn’t diminished by telling you how beautiful, intelligent, and strong you are – that’s what he loves about you. 5. He Inspires You to Be a Better You His goals, achievements, and motivations encourage you to stay on track with your God-given destiny. He doesn’t hesitate to encourage you when you are down. You are proud of him, and he is equally proud of you. He challenges you to overcome your insecurities instead of giving more reasons for you to be insecure. 6. He’s Not in Competition With You Do you feel like you have to prove yourself to him in order to earn his respect? Does he get jealous when men recognize your beauty? Some relationships can feel more 63
HOW DO I HANDLE THE Holidays?. .GO TO BED!
© Kim J. Young, MA, QMHP
In the movie “Hitch,” Eva Mendez has a line where she says to Will Smith “You handled me.” Why is that so bad? Merriam-Webster defines handled, to feel manipulated with the hands, or controlled. In common colloquialism, it means used or used up, and to add insult to injury, it is usually when we are most vulnerable, and sleep-deprivation (SD) is one of those vulnerabilities.
and you have lost seven hours of sleep a week. Further, studies have shown that on average, women have more sleeping problems than men for various reasons such as menses, pregnancy, socialization, and gender roles. Most reading this article can remember when we were in kindergarten, taking naps. In our young minds, napping was only an intrusion on our playtime, not a welcomed break (man, I would pay to take a nap right now). However, believe it or not, that nap was to refresh our minds for the next part of the day.
How do we get through and survive the holidays sans the sense of being handled or used up? GO TO BED! HUH! How is going to bed aiding me in pulling off this season’s tasks without defeat? I’m glad you asked. The Center for Disease Control reports to be fully cognitive during the day, a woman should get 7-9 hours of sleep a night (I wish!). However, the National Sleep Foundation says, on average, a woman only sleeps six hours a night.
There was a study reported in the Physiology & Behavior Journal that examined and recorded the effects of sleep deprivation on impulsive behavior. In the article, was reported that patients, particularly women, experience impulse control disorders when they are sleep deprived. Even in otherwise healthy patients, lack of sleep impairs cognition, decision-making, and impulse
You may say that is only one hour less than what is reported; but multiply that by seven nights 70
control. What does that say to me? Lack of sleep can potentially have dangerous effects, and for that reason ladies, GO TO BED! Guys, you are not excluded; we all need our rest, specifically the older we get. However, generally, when we speak of the holidays, that shouts to the ladies in your life, planning, shopping, cleaning, cooking, wrapping, entertaining, and the list often repeats itself. Can you imagine trying to tackle that to-do list without the proper rest?
a mental health professional, I have experienced an increase in potential clients seeking my services. Unfortunately, but realistically those seeking counseling are not only adults but adolescents too. Our children detect our uneasiness over finances, employment, living arrangements, health, and religious and political issues. In exchange, children are unconsciously emotionally challenged with feelings they should not yet be subjected to, of course, depending on their ages. Yes, as a parent, you want to discuss these real-life issues with your children, provided they are age-appropriate. However, you also want to offer them a sense of comfort, security, or happiness that encourages rest for them mentally, physically, and spiritually. Be honest and authentic but tender.
Equally, the Bible tells us that we need rest, Mark 6:31, Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest awhile. Psalm 127:2, it is vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. Matthew 11:28, Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest, and my fav, Psalm 4:8, “I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.” I won’t belabor the point; you get it.
Let’s discuss a few of the consequences of sleep deprivation. We said earlier that it causes women to make poor decisions, we are not as sharp cognitively; as a result, that increases (faulty) impulses. Sleeplessness accounts for impaired perception, difficulties in keeping concentration, vision disturbances, slower reactions,
March 2020 halted life for us as we know it introducing COVID19. Coupled with this being an election year, I think we can all agree, we all feel handled. As 71
by Tawaga Roberts
Happy Holidays! T’is the season for thanksgiving, togetherness, family fun, laughter, and of course food. Is it possible to maintain your healthy eating habits during the holiday season? Yes! It certainly is with dedication and creativity. While it is not necessary to deprive yourself of all your childhood favorite holiday foods, you will need to make adjustments to how Grandma used to cook. One way to ensure that your meal is healthy is to remember the rainbow. Your meal should be as colorful as the decorations surrounding you. Using a variety of fruits and veggies will not only enhance the color and flavor of your dishes but it will also increase the nutrients that you receive from them. For Example, you can mash roasted garlic and cauliflower with your white potatoes and skip the but-
white potatoes and skip the butter and gravy for a fresh take on your mashed potato dish. Instead of the traditional green bean casserole with mushroom soup and fried onions, you could toss some fresh green beans and sliced red bell pepper with olive oil, pepper and garlic powder and roast them in the oven. For many people, their holiday season will be flooded with countless invitations to office parties, family gatherings and Friendsgiving celebrations. Yes, I did spell that correctly: Friendsgiving. Last year was my first time hearing that term; apparently, it’s a Thanksgiving potluck celebration with friends instead of family. Anyhow, I digress. Gatherings and food are a big part of the holiday season and accepting these numerous invitations will inevitably land you in a room with an overwhelming variety of meats, sauces, dips, 79
Imagine this painting on your wall
Minnie Watkins Art minniewatkinsart.com
312.237.0287
WEAR IT, FEEL IT ©Jasmine LaFlora-Walker
The seasons have changed, the most wonderful time of the year is right around the corner, but now that events are going virtual and we’re spending more time at home than in an office, some of us may be struggling to find our normal holiday cheer. But don’t fear, we are here to encourage and remind you to get in the spirit. Here’s our motto— wear it, feel it! Sequins, bold solid colors, statement earrings and festive pajamas will surely get you in the mood to celebrate the holidays!
Tip #1 – Sequins
Nothing says holidays like a bit of sparkle. They’re so fun and festive! The best part is that they come in endless options—skirts, dresses, tops, jackets, shoes, purses, etc. Sequins are truly a seasonal staple that will light up any space. Depending upon the event, you can keep it simple or go all the way. Either way, don’t be afraid to give this classic holiday option a try!
Tip #2 – Bold Solid Colors
This tip is totally on trend—go bold and bright for a timeless holiday charm. While our traditional color options such as red, black and green easily work I challenge you to go a step further with mustard, pink, grey, blue or purple. My personal favorite way to slay solid colors is through a well-fitted suit, they’re a guaranteed head turner. If you’re really feeling confident you can even mix some complementary color combinations such as blue/orange, purple/yellow or red/ green. Be careful, but if done right these looks can certainly bring the holiday cheer wherever you go. 84
Tip #3 – Statement Earrings
Even when you want to keep it simple, there’s always an opportunity to jazz it up with your accessories! As we previously discussed, nothing says holiday like sparkles so why not wear them as an accessory? From H&M to Nordstrom, it’s difficult to hit a store these days that doesn’t supply your statement earrings needs. This is an option that works especially great for virtual gatherings. You can throw on a blouse, add your earrings, fix up that hair and look presentable in minutes. Cheers the season to be jolly—earrings la la la la la la!
Tip #4 – Pajamas
Okay, I know we’ve talked all things glam, but this one is too fun not to share! If you’re looking to feel festive, holiday PJs will certainly get you in the mood. If you really want to commit, feel free to get your family and friends involved. Match it up, grab some hot cocoa and get in the holiday spirit!
2020 has definitely been a unique year, but let’s not be discouraged to celebrate and keep the traditions alive. Whether we’re at grand venues or in our living rooms, we should all make an effort to wear it and feel it—after all, it is the most wonderful time of the year! Jasmine LaFlora-Walker 85
Life!
Celebrate
by Candy LaFlora
“HOLIDAY DINNER WITH YOUR FAMILY”
The Holidays are a wonderful time to bring the family together to thank God for all He has done and remember those who have moved to heaven as you share over a delicious meal. Life can move fast. Let’s slow down during this Thanksgiving and Christmas season to share stories, remember the special reasons we call each other family and show love. Fill your home with all things beautiful! Start with your dinner table. Make a “No Paper Plates” rule on these 2 special days. Bring out your best plates, best glasses and best flatware. Let your imagination soar! Be creative! Have fun! It’s your table, so let it represent you. 88
Here are a few creative ideas for your table: Fall Leaves, Gold Paint, Lots of Candles • Add beautiful autumn leaves from your yard. Purchase gold paint from the craft store and dry brush the leaves for a fancy flair. • Spread leaves down the center of the table to create a beautiful runner. • Add candles! Any kind! Your choice • Now add your best plates, napkins, flatware and glasses!
Dinner time has never looked better and your family will love it!