Unhealthy Relationships

Page 1

Unhealthy Relationships

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Workbook Workbook
C O N T E N T S 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 AUTHOR PAGE WELCOME DISCLAIMER COPYRIGHT ABOUT US A DAILY ROUTINE WORKBOOK GASLIGHTING JOURNAL THE PROGRAMME RESOURCES
THOUGHTS CONTACT US W W W . W H O L E L I V I N G . C O . U K
FINAL

I have created this platform from which to share whole mind & body resources to support your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing

My mission is to empower women to reach their full potential in both their relationships and their life, whilst supporting them on their journey of self-discovery and deep introspection

This workbook was designed to help you to become your fullest version of yourself and I hope to inspire you to create a meaningful life that you love

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hi, I'm Reina, Self-Development Coach & Whole Living Mentor

My belief is that to live a happier more balanced life, we must first cultivate a positive relationship with ourselves

Blending together both the inner and outer work with inspirational, uplifting tools and rituals to awaken you to deep self-love and acceptance

I am here to teach you that there is a different way to live and that you no longer have to feel stuck You can live a full embodied life with direction, passion and purpose

I lovingly invite you to create your very own daily holistic lifestyle practice. A loving invitation for you to explore every aspect of your whole self

P A G E 3 | W W W W H O L E L I V I N G C O U K

Hello beautiful soul, welcome to the community

A sacred space in which to discover & explore the holistic therapeutic resources, each one lovingly created to support you on your journey back towards wholeness

Whole mind & body workbooks & journals to support mental, physical & emotional wellbeing

I truly hope that on completion of this book that you feel inspired, & that you discover that you are one step closer towards healing

I invite you to rise, expand & evolve into your fullest most whole version of yourself

WELCOME together

P A G E 4 | W W W W H O L E L I V I N G C O , U K
we rise Reina x

DISCLAIMER

This workbook has been written and published for informational and educational purposes only The author and publisher are not healthcare providers and will not be liable for any damages that may arise due to the connection of this workbook

It is advised and highly recommend that you seek a professional healthcare practitioner, professional councillor or coach if you are in distress and/or in need of any physical, mental or emotional help.

The statements in this workbook are not intended to diagnosis, treat, cure or prevent any disease or illness, instead only to support and guide you on your journey towards creating a holistic daily lifestyle practice

On the purchase of this workbook it is the sole responsibility of the reader/owner to use their own judgement as to whether or not they need to consult a medical professional

P A G E 5 | W W W W H O L E L I V I N G C O U K
Living Co
Whole
w w w w h o l e l i v i n g c o u k | W h o l e L i v i n g C o COPYRIGHT NOTICE Ⓒ C O P Y R I G H T W H O L E L I V I N G C O 2 0 2 3 | A L L R I G H T S R E S E R V E D N O P A R T O F T H I S C A N B E C O P I E D I N A N Y F O R M

Whole Living Co About us

Whole Living Co is a holistic educational platform offering proven science based resources to promote mental, physical and emotional wellbeing.

Courses, programmes, journals and workbooks, created to support you on your journey back towards whole living.

Inviting you to create your own holistic lifestyle practice by implementing simple daily rituals that will rewire your brain, build new habits and create a meaningful life that you love.

When using the methods included in the journals, you will benefit from the expertise of wellness professionals whilst participating in a therapeutic, holistic journaling practice.

Our resources are successful because we make positive psychology, CBT, and mindfulness easy to apply into your daily lifestyle practice.

It is the smallest changes that have the biggest impact, so the key is to create lasting habits that keep you motivated and that you can stick to.

I lovingly invite you to return to wholeness.

DAILY ROUTINES FOR HEALTH & VITALITY

The stresses of daily life is a part of life that we all experience. We all have negative fear based thoughts and self-sabotaging behaviours along with low self-esteem and self-worth at some point in our life.

The good news is it doesn't have to be this way. It is possible to feel more grounded, calm and resilient with the help of a daily routine.

Creating your own daily routine/practice will enhance an overall sense of wellness, allowing you to set the tone for the day ahead and take charge.

By focusing on your thoughts and getting grounded, you can elevate your energy and connect to your heart centre.

The way to overcome unpleasant thought patterns and negative behaviours is to rewire your brain and teach it something new and more positive.

Our thoughts impel us to act, our actions form our habits, our habits shape our character and our character attracts our destiny.

Let’s get started!

THE IMPORTANCE OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

BUILDING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS PROMOTES PERSONAL GROWTH & WELLBEING

Healthy relationships can offer an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery When participating in a loving relationship, you should feel supported and loved

Healthy relationships play a vital part in our happiness and wellbeing Proven to promote a sense of happiness and joy, enhancing an overall feeling of stability and security

Primarily healthy relationships should provide emotional support and companionship Our partner can offer us encouragement and a safe space in which to be vulnerable

When we have a loving, supportive partner by our side, we tend to feel more confident in our ability to navigate life's many adversities that will inevitably arise

Learning to trust our partner when sharing our biggest fears and insecurities, will in turn help to build a strong foundation for a stable long term relationship

Exploring the intimate side of the relationship, gives you both an opportunity for deep self-discovery and self-exploration, allowing you space for expansion and growth.

A key component in any relationship is a strong sense of self When you respect and value yourself and know who you are on your own, you will be able to show up as your best self

By journaling about your experiences and using the self-exploration tools and skills in this book, it will take you one step closer to finding and keeping your life partner

Ⓒ C O P Y R I G H T W H O L E L I V I N G C O 2 0 2 3 | A L L R I G H T S R E S E R V E D W W W W H O L E L I V I N G C O U K

Unhealthy Relationships

Having spent over a decade in an unhealthy relationship myself, I had to tune inward and work through my own trauma, limiting beliefs and lack of boundaries I chose empowering rituals and daily practices to nourish and elevate me until I had the strength to leave.

I am now a fully certified relationship coach and mindset mentor, qualified to guide you towards the relationship you deserve

Take a moment to tune into your inner guide and ask yourself-

Does the relationship you are currently participating in feel good, fulfil you and bring you joy? Or are you walking on eggshells, afraid to be your authentic self and constantly unhappy?

LoveRelationship

WHAT TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP AM I IN?

I lovingly invite you to answer the questions and complete the quiz as honestly as you can I want you to keep in mind that relationships do take work It is perfectly natural to ebb and flow and to have good times and bad

My goal for you in the following exercise, is to establish what type of relationship you are in You will get to look at how happy and fulfilled you are

I hope that you discover you are in a loving healthy relationship, however if you discover you are not, I will gently guide you towards the relationship you deserve

RELATIONSHIPS

"Relationshipsebbandflow"

AS YOU READ EACH QUESTION, SIMPLY TICK "YES" IF YOU AGREE OR "NO" IF YOU DISAGREE WITH THE STATEMENT.

YES 01 NO

IS THERE A DEEP CONNECTION BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR PARTNER?

YES 02 NO

DO YOU SHOW EACH OTHER AFFECTION?

YES 03 NO

DO YOU TRUST EACH OTHER?

YES 04 NO

DO YOU COMMUNICATE IN A HEALTHY WAY?

YES 05 NO

ARE YOU FRIENDS?

YES 06 NO

ARE YOU IN A COMMITED LOVING, LOYAL RELATIONSHIP?

YES 07 NO

DO YOU ENJOY SPENDING TIME TOGETHER AND DO YOU HAVE FUN?

YES 08 NO

IF YOU HAVE A DISAGREEMENT, DO YOU TALK CALMLY TO FIND THE SOLUTION?

WORKBOOK HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
CHECKLIST HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

BELOW IS A LIST OF WHAT MR RIGHT LOOKS LIKE TICK THE ONES THAT ALIGN WITH YOUR PARTNERS

YES 01 NO SUPPORTIVE YES 02 NO CONSISTENT YES 03 NO TELLS YOU THAT YOU LOOK GOOD YES 04 NO TRUSTS YOU YES 05 NO ENCOURAGES YOU YES 06 NO SHARES FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY YES 07 NO WELCOMES YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS YES 08 NO RESPONSIBLE FOR OWN WELL-BEING CHECKLIST MR
WORKBOOK HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
RIGHT LOOKS LIKE
BEHAVIOUR

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LAUGH AND HAVE FUN WITH YOUR PARTNER?

DAILY

WEEKLY

MONTHLY

NEVER

HOW OFTEN ARE YOU UNABLE TO BE TRUTHFUL TO YOUR PARTNER?

DAILY

WEEKLY

NEVER, I AM ALWAYS HONEST

DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU DONT WANT TO BE WITH YOUR PARTNER

WEEKLY

MONTHLY

NEVER

I AM UNSURE OF HOW I FEEL

WORKBOOK HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
QUIZ RELATIONSHIP MULTIPLE CHOICE
A A. B. B. A. C C B. D D C

QUIZ RELATIONSHIP MULTIPLE CHOICE

HOW OFTEN DO YOU KISS YOUR PARTNER?

DAILY

WEEKLY

MONTHLY

NEVER

HOW OFTEN ARE YOU INTIMATE WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER

DAILY, WEEKLY

MONTHLY

NEVER

HOW OFTEN DO YOU AND YOUR PARTNER HAVE DATE NIGHTS

WEEKLY

MONTHLY

NEVER

WE STAY IN ALL OF THE TIME

WORKBOOK HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
A
B.
A. C
B. D D C
A.
B.
C

Unhealthy Relationships

When I created this workbook and journal I had intended in writing specifically about healthy relationships

However, I do believe that when we focus on what a healthy relationship should look like, if you are not in a relationship like that, red flags appear

If you tune in and listen to your intuition, the answers are always there

If you feel betrayed, controlled, used, coerced, manipulated, blindsided, gaslighted and/or abused, then trust your gut feeling, it is normally right.

I am fully qualified to guide you towards a healthy relationship, so with that in mind, I would be doing you a disservice if I didn't include some information to support you

Does the relationship you are currently participating in feel good, fulfil you and bring you joy? Do you have the freedom to express yourself without judgement? Or are you ridiculed and judged?

It is very difficult and extremely painful to be in a toxic or abusive relationship. Over time your self-esteem diminishes, until you lose the strength to leave.

It is vitally important that you get the help you need in order to maintain your mental, physical and emotional wellbeing.

Redflagsappear

BELOW IS A LIST OF SIGNS THAT WOULD INDICATE YOU ARE IN AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

I AM CONSTANTLY WALKING ON EGGSHELLS YES

I FEEL UNABLE TO BE MY AUTHENTIC SELF DUE TO THE FEAR OF BEING JUDGED OR RIDICULED

MY PARTNER GETS ANGRY AND SHOUTS AND INTIMIDATES ME YES

I FEEL UNLOVED AND UNAPRECIATED YES

MY PARTNER LIES TO ME YES

MY PARTNER IS UNFAITHFUL YES

MY PARTNER CONTROLS ALL OF THE FINANCES

NO

YES

NO

MY PARTNER HURTS ME EMOTIONALLY AND/OR PHYSICALLY

YES 01 NO
02 NO
YES 03 NO
04 NO
05
06
NO
07
NO
08
UNHEALTHY
WORKBOOK HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
CHECKLIST
RELATIONSHIP

A LIST OF BEHAVIOURS FROM THE UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP PARTNER TICK

YES 01 NO SHOUTS, GLARES, YES 02 NO SULKS, SMASHES THINGS YES 03 NO CALLS YOU NAMES YES 04 NO STOPS YOU FROM WORKING YES 05 NO BLAMES YOU YES 06 NO ISOLATES YOU FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS YES 07 NO CONTROLS ALL OF THE FINANCES YES 08 NO EXPECTS YOU TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIM CHECKLIST MR
WORKBOOK HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
RELATIONSHIP
WRONG LOOKS LIKE
THE ONES THAT RESONATE WITH YOU AND YOUR

WHAT IS GASLIGHTING AND WHEN DOES IT HAPPEN?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which the abuser deliberately tries to make the victim question their own memory, perception, and sanity Gaslighting can happen in any type of relationship, but it is particularly common in romantic relationships

Gaslighting often starts gradually, with the abuser making small comments or actions that cause the victim to question themselves For example, the abuser might say something like, "I didn't say that," or "You're imagining things," when the victim knows they heard the abuser say something different. Over time, these small comments and actions can add up and make the victim feel like they are going crazy.

IS IT GASLIGHTING OR ARE YOU JUST BEING PARANOID?

It can be hard to tell the difference between genuine gaslighting and simple paranoia, so it's important to trust your gut If you feel like something isn't quite right, even if you can't put your finger on it, there's a good chance that you're being gaslighted

G A S L I G H T I N G the WORKSHEET & TRACKER

You find yourself constantly second-guessing yourself and your memory

You feel like you're "walking on eggshells" around the person in question, always trying to please them or avoid their wrath

You feel isolated from your friends and family, and like nobody would believe you if you told them what was going on

You feel like you're going crazy, or that there's something wrong with you

G A S L I G H T I N G the WORKSHEET & TRACKER
THERE ARE SOME KEY SIGNS TO LOOK FOR THAT MAY INDICATE YOU'RE BEING GASLIGHTED BY A PERSON CLOSE TO YOU

HERE ARE SOME SPECIFIC REAL LIFE SCENARIOS THAT ARE GASLIGHTING

Your partner tells you that you're "imagining" things, even when you know you're not.

Your boss constantly contradicts what you know to be true, and makes you question your own memory and judgment.

A friend or family member tries to convince you that your memories of childhood events are "wrong" or "exaggerated."

G A S L I G H T I N G the WORKSHEET & TRACKER

WHEN YOU HAVE THE SUSPICION YOU’RE BEING GASLIGHTED, WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

Talk to somebody you trust about what's going on It can be really difficult to deal with gaslighting on your own, and it's important to have supportive people in your life who can believe you and help you through this

If you don't have anybody in your life who you feel like you can talk to, there are hotlines and online support groups that can help

02
G A S L I G H T I N G the WORKSHEET & TRACKER

WHEN YOU HAVE THE SUSPICION YOU’RE BEING GASLIGHTED, WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

Confront the person who is gaslighting you, if you feel safe doing so This is a difficult step, and it's important to make sure you're in a safe place before doing it It's also important to be as calm and collected as possible when confronting the person, as getting angry will likely only make them double down on their gaslighting behavior.

State what you're feeling and why you think the person is gaslighting you, and then ask them directly to stop If they refuse or if the situation escalates, it might be time to consider ending the relationship

04

Seek professional help, if you feel like you need it. Gaslighting can be very damaging to your mental health, and it's important to seek help if you're feeling overwhelmed or like you can't cope A therapist can help you deal with the emotional fallout of gaslighting, and they can also provide practical advice on how to deal with the situation

03
G A S L I G H T I N G the WORKSHEET & TRACKER

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR CONSTANTLY WALKING ON EGGSHELLS?

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

DO YOU HAVE A SUPPORT SYSTEM IN PLACE?

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

HOW CAN YOU CHANGE THE SITUATION?

WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE FOR YOU TO FEEL SAFE AND HAPPY?

Unhealthy Relationships

WRITE A LIST OF EVERYTHING YOU COULD DO TO CREATE A POSITIVE OUTCOME FOR YOURSELF

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SET A BOUNDARY OR SAID NO?

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

DO YOU NEED HELP TO BREAK FREE FROM THE RELATIONSHIP?

NEED MORE INSIGHT & SUPPORT?

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

If you have found you are in an unhealthy relationship and in need of support, below is some contact information to help you Domestic Abuse Helpline - Refuge - 0808 - 200 0247

Solace - 0808-802 5565

Hestia - 0207- 378 3100

JOURNAL YOUR WAY TO A HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIP

Journaling is a super way to connect with your inner self and tune into how you are feeling. There is no need to share it with anybody, it's just a way of deep diving into your deepest self and figuring out your heart's desire .

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Journal

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

WHAT THINGS DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A PARTNER?

W H A T A R E Y O U R C O R E V A L U E S I N R E L A T I O N S H I P S ?

WHAT THINGS WONT YOU TOLLERATE?

W H A T I S I M P O R T A N T T O Y O U I N Y O U R R E L A T I O N S H I P ?
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the

HOW DO YOU SHOW UP IN RELATIONSHIPS?

H A S Y O U R P A S T R E L A T I O N S H I P S S H A P E D Y O U R B E L I E F S A B O U T W H A T L O V E S H O U L D L O O K L I K E F O R Y O U ?
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

WRITE WHAT YOUR IDEAL RELATIONSHIP LOOKS LIKE BE AS DESCPRIBTIVE AS YOU CAN

UNHEALTHY
JOURNAL the
RELATIONSHIPS

WHAT DOES BEING VULNERABLE MEAN TO YOU?

A R E Y O U V U L N E R A B L E I N Y O U R R E L A T I O N S H I P ?
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

IN WHAT AREAS OF THE RELATIONSHIP DO YOU STRUGGLE TO BE VULNERABLE?

I N W H A T A R E A S O F Y O U R R E L A T I O N S H I P I S I T E A S Y T O B E V U L N E R A B L E ?
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU SPOKE YOUR TRUTH?

A E R Y O U A F R A I D O F S P E A K I N G Y O U R T R U T H ? I F S O W H Y ?
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

HOW DOES HAVING A DISAGREEMENT MAKE YOU FEEL?

H O W D O Y O U S E T T L E C O N F L I C T ?
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

DOES YOUR PARTNER SUPPORT YOU WHEN YOU FEEL INSECURE?

A R E Y O U A B L E T O E X P R E S S Y O U R E M O T I O N S F R E E L Y I N A S A F E S P A C E ?

DOES HE PYSICALLY, VERBALLY OR EMOTIONALLY ABUSE YOU?

A R E Y O U A F R A I D O F Y O U R P A R T N E R ?
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

CAN YOU DISCUSS THINGS CALMY AND RESPECTFULLY?

I F S O H O W D O Y O U D E A L W I T H T H E A B U S E ?

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Give an example of a time when your partner got angry with you How did the conflict get resolved?

Explain how your partner invades your boundaries

the JOURNAL

RELATIONSHIPS

WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ARE WILLING TO COMPROMISE ON?

W H A T A R E Y O U R N O N - N E G O T I A B L E S I N Y O U R R E L A T I O S H I P ?
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the UNHEALTHY

HOW DO THEY APPROACH AND RESOLVE THE SITUATION?

D O E S Y O U R P A R T N E R E V E R F E E L J E A L O U S I N Y O U R R E L A T I O N S H I P ?
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

DOES YOUR PARTNER?

D O Y O U H A V E A L I F E O U T S I D E O F T H E R E L A T I O N S H I P ?
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

ARE YOU ABLE TO EXPLORE OTHER INTRESTS OUTSIDE OF THE RELATIONSHIP?

D O E S Y O U R P A R T N E R S U P P P O R T Y O U R S E L F - D E V E L O P M E N T ?

IN WHAT WAYS DO YOU SHOW TRANSPARENCY AND VULNERABILITY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

D O Y O U A N D Y O U R P A R T N E R T R U S T E A C H O T H E R ?
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

DESCRIBE IN DETAIL A PAST RELATIONSHIP THAT LEFT YOU FEELING ABANDONED AND REJECTED

JOURNAL the

RELATIONSHIPS

HOW HAS IT CHANGED YOUR APPROACH TOWARDS YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?

W H A T A R E T H E B I G G E S T L E S S O N S Y O U H A V E L E A R N T F R O M T H E E X P E R I E N C E ?
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS JOURNAL the UNHEALTHY

RELATIONSHIPS

WRITE ABOUT YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL?

UNHEALTHY
JOURNAL the

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP CHECK - IN

Kindness & consideration

Compassion

Communication & Trust

Support & Understanding

Affection, Tenderness

Kissing & Intimacy

Loyalty & Honesty

Date nights & Quality

Time Together

Love & Friendship

Time Outside Of The Relationship For Goals & Passions

Having worked through the exercises in the workbook, you should have clarity as to what type of relationship you are in.

If you have discovered you are in an unhealthy relationship, you are better equipped to get the support and help that you need to move forward with your life

The journaling exercise enabled you to look at the challenges you are facing, allowing you the time and space that you need for self-discovery and self-reflection

Love&Compassion

CONCLUSION UnhealthyRelationships
"Tounderstandanother, wemustfirstwalkintheirshoes"

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BELOW IS A LIST OF WORKBOOKS & JOURNALS AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE IF YOU CANNOT SEE THEM ON THE WEBSITE PLEASE GET IN TOUCH FOR MORE DETAILS

Enhancing Positivity

Limiting Beliefs

Gratitude

The Art Of Self-Care

Inner Child Healing

Healthy Boundaries

Happiness

Body Image

Nutrition

W W W W H O L E L I V I N G C O U K

R E S O U R C E S

W O R K B O O K S & J O U R N A L S

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Authenticity

Life Purpose

A New Chapter

Self-Confidence

Managing Your Anxiety

Empowerment

Healthy Relationships

Manifest

The Relationship With Yourself

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