Issuu

SEX ISSUE FEB. 13, 2018 I VOLUME 111 I ISSUE 20

CONTENTS WELCOME 2

Letter from the Editor

LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS 3 4 6 8

Blind Date Send Nudes Ask Shitguysal Eat, pray, love: sex and religion on campus

SEX IN SOCIETY 9 10

In defence of prudishness What it’s like to be a sex worker on Valentine’s Day 12 The unconvincing martyrs of #MeToo 14 Let’s talk about sex and STIs 16 Consent and #MeToo

LET’S TALK INTERCOURSE 18 22 24 25 26 29 32

Photo Gallery Sex Survey Let’s get it on: the ultimate sex playlist 2017’s steamiest scenes Spilling the tea with sexologist Carlen Costa Let’s talk about sex: Q&A with a sexologist Ditch the fuck boys, buy a fuck toy

INTERSECTIONALITY 34 37

Making Strides with LGBTQ+ representation on campus Animal attraction: dispelling myth about furries 39 Breaking the mold: exploring asexuality

February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINE 1

WELCOME Editor-in-Chief Amy O’Kruk Managing Editor of Design Jordan McGavin Managing Editor of Content Rita Rahmati Photography Michael Conley Liam McInnis Max Mao Lucy Villeneuve Writers Nick Sokic Karolina Jalowska Kristin Lee Carmen Mallia Charlie O’Connor Clarke Gabrielle Drolet Emily Tayler Madhav Singhal Richard Joseph Alyssa Therrien Grace To Vivian Cheng Mike DeBoer Sally Zheng Graphics and Layout Kiija Gargarello Sissi Chen Sama Al-Zanoon Kyra Karakatsanis Naomi Lee Copy Editors Lucas Sonke Patty Hu Alina Kleinsasser Kaitlyn Lonnee Elizabeth Reid Arjun Singh Marie Ringlstetter Digital Content Connor Malbeuf Shannon Marks Josh Merifield Lauren Coles Connor Clark Advertising and Composing Ian Greaves Composing Maja Anjoli-Bilicć Robert Armstrong Advertising Diana Watson Front Cover Graphics by Kyra Karakatsanis Photo by Michael Conley

hen I was younger, I toyed with the idea of being an artist. I pictured thick oil paint, creamy canvasses and a downtown studio with wooden floors and ceiling-high windows. My fantasies always included the Titanic’s Jack Dawson, armed with his charcoal stick and sketch pad. The sun would bounce in through a sky light, and… You get it. The idea of the artist has long been associated with sex, love and romance. From Andy Warhol and Edie Sedgwick to Picasso’s long string of affairs, artists are often cast as passionate, unpredictable lovers. Who doesn’t like the idea of the muse? When we meet a musician or a poet or a painter, we’re all a little attracted to to chance of being immortalized through art. Or hey, maybe we want someone to help us take fire Instagram pics — to each their own. With this is mind, I present the 2018 Sex Issue. This year’s theme is art and sexuality — get ready for body paint. In that spirit, this issue is also more visual than ever, as we present it as a magazine for the first time. Speaking of first times, I hope our Sex Issue taps into conversations

happening throughout the world right now about consent, empowerment and respect. While some of our content touches on the #MeToo movement, we strived to include a diversity of voices, bodies and ideas in this issue. We’ve covered everything from how faith influences relationships to students’ efforts to increase asexual and LGBTQ+ representation on campus. If I learned anything putting together this issue, it’s that student leaders across campus are working tirelessly to advocate for marginalized communities. Just like art, our Sex Issue is all about expression. Many of you also directly contributed to the Sex Issue by sending in your responses to this year’s sex survey. We had over 700 students weigh in, answering perennial questions — “Who’s your celebrity crush?” — to new ones — would you consider being a sugar baby? We’ve laid out the results on page 22, so make sure you take a look. Ultimately, a big thank you to the Gazette team and all of the student writers, models and designers who contributed to this project. This issue is just as much about students’ everyday life as it’s about Valentine’s Day. But still, enjoy the season of love. Find your own muse — even if that’s a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. It’s worth celebrating. — Amy O’Kruk Editor-in-Chief

TAKING OFF THE BLINDFOLD BY MICHAEL CONLEY Olivia’s nose ring worked hard. But her smile worked harder. Before she arrives, I have a crisis. Probably my only one of the night. I’m waiting inside the The Tasting Room’s main door when I get a text: “Hey! Sorry, I’m running a bit late; I’m just calling an Uber now!” Damn. So do I go sit down? What would Brad Pitt do? Do I want to be like Brad Pitt? I wait. Then I get another text: “Okay, I’m in the Uber so I’ll see you soon!” At this moment the sky clears and three words appear: waiting is weird. I don’t know if the words are meant for me. But in my situation, ambivalence is all I have. I sit down at our table, tucked in the back corner. The metaphorical blindfold comes off, and Olivia walks toward me. I think to myself: “She’s lovely”. The service is slow, but the conversations flow. I even felt comfortable enough to show her a viral video of a University of Guelph student fake-masturbating in front of security. She expertly selects the wine. I get seafood pasta, while Olivia orders a steak. There’s a healthy chatting-eating balance, and I dominate

my meal like the average man on a date does. She eats slowly like she was taught. Olivia casually uses the word “muck,” and I like it. Conversation pivots to Amanda Bynes’s She’s the Man. We bond over our shared love of sports; Olivia plays football, and I used to play soccer. We both love peanut butter, a staple in my diet. She eats jam, but says she doesn’t like fruit. I inquire further and she says people always bother her about this. I fall back. Dinner ends after good fun, and I pay for the meal. Would you believe I consider myself a feminist? But Olivia went on a blind date with a random Gazette editor who is writing about it. She deserved it. We ride-share to her home. No, not to hook-up: she lives near me. Get your head out of the gutter. Nice hug. Short pause. We don’t kiss. First date kissing is a lot. And I’m not trying to cement my legacy at 23 as a guy-who-kisses-on-the-first-date. Also, I was nervous. Would I have tried going for a kiss if this article wasn’t coming out? I don’t know. And neither do you.

February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINE 3

SEXMAGAZINE • Love and relationships

ASK SHITGUYSAL It’s February, and life is tragic. You’ve slipped down University College Hill in the midst of a torrential blizzard, the girl at the Spoke made your bagel wrong, and now, you’ve come to the realization that you are single for V-Day... Again. Lucky for you, Shitguysal’s here to answer all your questions about love and loneliness. As a devout shit guy, full-time guru and part-time bar star, I am here to serve justice to Western University’s single community and answer any burning love inquiries they have. So save your money and spare yourself the premium SeekingArrangement membership — I just might have the answers to why no one loves you and what you can do to fix it.

Hey Shitguysal, I’m a final year Ivey student about to graduate. I’ve worked so hard for my entire academic career to get to this point, and because of that I have never had a girlfriend or even been with a girl. I’m terrified to graduate university as a virgin, and so have been trying to get more social over the past few weeks. I have really tried to get out of my comfort zone and talk to girls, but last Friday at the bar, I went up to try to talk to a girl. She wasn’t very responsive and when I left I noticed her and all her friends pointing and laughing at me. I know I’m not the most attractive or charismatic guy, but I really think I have a lot to offer. How can I make a girl like me? Thanks, Anonymous

Hey pal — thanks for writing Shitguysal. I’m sorry to hear about your troubles at the bar. Considering that your game plummeted faster than your Bitcoin stock, I am definitely worried about your future. But fear no more,

6 SEXMAGAZINE February, 2018

Shitguysal’s here with the answer. I understand that your demanding career at Ivey made it hard for you to really pursue love. I mean between all the free lunches with CEOs, beer tasting and simply dealing with all that money, power and respect, life can get pretty hard. However, I suggest three life changing rules that will get girls coming to you faster than you can say “My dad will sue.” First, stop focusing on your spreadsheets and more on your bed sheets. Girls can smell King Richie’s stained, Star Wars-themed bed sheets from kilometres away. The minute that you stop acting like you live in your mom’s basement and put away that Axe cologne that you’ve been wearing since you were in Grade 6, the more likely that love will come your way. Second, advertise that you are in Ivey. I mean, a lot. Like don’t even introduce yourself by your name or even tell them about yourself. Us girls on a student budget have less than a cent left in our meal plans and we are just trying to secure our drunk muck. If we hear Ivey, we hear wedding bells. Lastly, show them Kylie Jenner’s baby video. Don’t question it. Just do it. You’re guaranteed a woman will beg

for your love faster than you can say Goldman Sachs. Best of luck XOXO, Shitguysal

Hey Shitguysal, Basically I gave this guy two chances to tell me he didn’t want to hang out anymore, but both times he said he still wanted to hang out. After the last time I asked, I left the ball in his court and after a week and a half I still haven’t heard anything. What should I do? Sincerely, Anonymous

Wow friend, that sounds like quite the dilemma. Here we are, putting ourselves on Tinder, lowering our expectations and lighting our pride on fire — and for what? We can’t even get a text back from men who are holding a big fish? I got two words for you: GAS IT. Clearly homeboy here has a case of whiplash: he seems like he’s trying to gas you and then oh, here he is swerving back into your lane.

Honestly, sounds like this guy wears Reeboks and faded dad jeans from Marks Work Warehouse. Those shoes shoulda said “gas me” from the start. If a guy is this scared about telling you his true intentions (aka he wants to gas you but he got the ol’ case of a cat got his tongue), he probably isn’t worth the struggle. He sounds like the type of guy who would amp you up to go to all-you-can-eat sushi and then just take you to the Loblaw’s Asian section instead. AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT. XOXO, Shitguysal

Hey Shitguysal, I got ghosted a few weeks ago by a guy I like, and I’m wondering how to get back at him. How do I ghost the ghost? Sincerely, Anonymous

Q Hey,

It’s my fourth year and to be honest, I’m really looking to be wifed. I think I have a lot to offer, however, I’m just super shy. How do I get better at talking to men I find attractive without turning red? Or in other words, how do I get from the friend zone to the END zone? Thanks, Anonymous

Wow anonymous, those are some powerful words. “Friend zone to the END zone.” I feel it. I have three words for you: live, laugh, roll one and smoke 85. In other words, why are you sitting here feeling sorry for yourself?! Feminists did not pave the way for us future ladies just so we could sit here and rot away with all we have to offer. I say, grow some balls and seize the daddy of your dreams. Go out to dollar beers, sift through

the dirties, find one who doesn’t smell like the Weldon Library bathrooms and wife that boy. The only thing that is holding you back from a possible sugar daddy is your mentality. Plus, 95 per cent of Western’s boy population is vulnerable and despo, as you can probably note from their Tinder bios about finding their Tinderella. You can get from the friend zone to the END zone by just doing you and being bold. Don’t beat around the bush, twiddle your thumbs and drop melancholic subtweets hoping he’ll notice you. Go up to him and ask him to grab a bite at the Spoke. But, word to the wise, preferbs only go for them meal-planned up sweeties because let’s be honest, us girls on OSAP and student budgets ain’t got time for that — especially when we are also funding our Ceeps Thursday habits. Be a shit guy always, XOXO Shitguysal

While it may be tempting to get back at him for his spooky ways, I suggest that you stop what you’re doing and put this typical, vengeful ex-ting act to rest! In the end, you’re only giving him the satisfaction. Whether you homie hop his entire house (or block) or post up a hot selfie with an obviously spiteful Taylor Swift lyric, your mind is just going to be on him. Unfortunately, we know that his mind won’t be on you (hence, the ghosting). It’s tough love my anonymous pal, but it’s what Shitguysal deals with best. I have a feeling that this guy probably texts his mom asking what shirt he should wear the next day, and, at the very best, seasons his chicken with salt and pepper. He also probably eats egg whites drunk after the bar. Good riddance — his ghosting ways spared you. Now take the high road and go find yourself a new seasoned BADDIE. XOXO and with some extra dabs, Shitguysal

S TA G S H O P. C O M

1548 Dundas St E | 371 Wellington Rd 666 Wonderland Rd N February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINE 7

SEXMAGAZINE • Love and relationships

EAT, PRAY, L VE

SEX AND RELIGION ON CAMPUS BY KAROLINA JALOWSKA

niversities are often portrayed as sex-saturated campuses, full of partying, bar nights, dating and one-night-stands. But with over 30,000 undergraduate students at Western University, there’s a huge diversity of students — and many with different belief systems. For some students, religion can greatly influence how they navigate campus life. Molly Fisher, a third-year Catholic studies student at King’s University College, is Roman Catholic. She’s co-president of the Western Newman Catholic Students’ Club. The club lets Catholic and non-Catholic students come together, find community and learn more about the Catholic faith. Fisher pointed out that when people think of Christian teachings about sex, they often think that Christian’s don’t approve of sex, but that’s not true. “It’s good, and it’s the best thing we’re given.… It’s a natural thing that everyone can fulfill,” Fisher says. “There’s also ways to mistreat that desire, similar to overeating.” Nathan Durand, a first-year master’s student, was the club’s president last year. Talking about sex, Durand refers to a quote he once heard: “Having casual sex is like eating Doritos. You’re hungry so you eat, but they have no nutritional value to them. You don’t gain anything meaningful.” Catholicism teaches that people should wait to have sex until marriage. In marriage, there is a union of two people becoming one and a giving and receiving of love. Sex is important — in the eyes of the church, a marriage is not legitimate until it has been consummated. “It’s not about needing to repress all sexual desire. That is quite opposite of what the church wants. The church wants us to experience sex and that means that we can’t separate it from a loving union,” Durand says. “If you take out love, you take out the meaning of sex.” When it comes to relationships, Fisher and Durand share the same views. Durand is currently in a relation-

8 SEXMAGAZINE February, 2018

ship, and both he and his girlfriend are waiting until marriage to have sex. “When she was younger, she made this promise to wait until marriage,… and that is the greatest gift. Nothing could compare to that,” Durand says. “For any deeply held conviction you have, you want the person you love to share that with you.” Husna Doudi, a first-year computer science student and member of the Islamic faith, sees herself as more of a liberal Muslim. Doudi is a member of Western’s Muslim Students’ Association. Although she’s not a very active member, she says that the group holds monthly readings, daily prayers, dinners and other activities that bring Western’s Muslim community closer together. According to Islamic teachings, sex before marriage is also prohibited. “Sex before marriage is a definite no-no.… It’s considered a sin,” Doudi says. “It has to do with modesty and purity. You want to save yourself for your partner.” According to Doudi, relationships are kind of a grey area. “Relationships, in some ways, are not recommended or allowed that much, but people are still going to do it no matter what,” says Doudi. “So it just depends on where you are in the religion and faith.” Doudi says that, in some cases, relationships are permitted if the couple’s intention is to get married or if the parents of both partners are aware of the relationship. Arranged marriages are also commonplace. However, Doudi thinks that everything really just comes down to the person, what they believe in and what they personally follow. “That’s what I think people don’t understand about Muslims. You don’t have to follow every little thing. Everyone is different.… You do what is right for you at your pace,” Doudi says.

IN DEFENCE OF PRUDISHNESS BY MIKE DEBOER

There is little refuge from explicit subject matter for prudes in 2018. With the everincreasing focus on sex in films and television and the unending barrage of sordid “news” about the private lives of public figures, nearly everywhere you look, you see something that makes you want to leap right out of your skin — or at least I do. In fact, in a society so celebrated for its “open-mindedness” and “tolerance,” it’s asking for trouble to even admit to being a prude. You set yourself up for all kinds of grief if you don’t want to watch naked bodies slither around in The Human Centipede, or if you don’t want to go hang out at the strip club. And maybe, it’s okay if we’d rather not read stories about orgies and bestiality in Vice News. So I thought that, as the Gazette’s Sex Issue rolled around, I’d come to the defence of prudes around the world. Even though we are often reserved, shy, terribly square people, our native restraint and weak knees are, in fact, generally accompanied by a deep love of personal freedom and diversity of opinion. Here’s the thing about my prudishness: I really don’t want to impose limitations on anyone’s behaviour. Actually, I especially don’t want to do that. I’m simply possessed by a fervent (if perhaps utterly doomed) desire to know as little about people and their intimate, “behind-the-scenes” lives as possible. But in today’s sex-first society, where

talking about things that make my stomach queasy is somehow empowering, prudishness is perceived by many to be an affront to other’s personal freedom. In my opinion, real freedom means having the right to choose how you live your life. With countless philosophies and belief systems, many of which are in total conflict with one another, modesty and reserve can help promote that freedom. Modesty encourages us to keep our own policies and practices somewhat under wraps — and also to extend that same level of consideration to others. When everything is publicly aired, there can be pressure to adhere to some particular way of thinking, “permissive” or otherwise. Where is the freedom, or indeed the permissiveness, in that? So yes, I just dubbed myself a crusader for freedom. I don’t get how talking about every single aspect of our private lives is empowering. I don’t get why sex has to be top of mind in today’s society. As people, we have so much more to offer than our bodies and bedroom lives. So do whatever you want, when you want: I really don’t care. Just don’t tell me about it. I’ll respect your lifestyle choices if you respect mine. Deal?

February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINE 9

SEXMAGAZINE

BY KRISTIN LEE

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE A SEX WORKER ON VALENTINE’S DAY

10 SEXMAGAZINE February, 2018

EXPLORING SEX WORK IN LONDON

alentine’s Day, for most people, is a day spent celebrating romance. But for sex workers, Valentine’s Day tends to be the opposite. Lynn*, a 56-year-old sex worker in London, goes by her alter ego, Blake, while at work. Lynn says that, contrary to what people might think, February 14th tends to be rather quiet for workers in the sex trade: her clients often see her on the days surrounding Valentine’s Day — but rarely the day of — because people are often busy with their partners. They also don’t always have the extra cash, but when they do visit, they bring her roses and other gifts. “I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. I’m all by myself,” Lynn says. “I’ll buy my grandson stuff, my daughter candy. My son, who’s far away, I’ll send him $20, but that’s about it.” And sex workers’ routines on Valentine’s Day aren’t the only common public misconception. Lynn says sex workers’ voices often go unheard as they battle stigma and safety issues. In 2015, as many as 200 women offered sexual services on the streets of London. These services include, but are not limited to, street sex work, indoor sex work, brothel work, phone sex, lap dances and pornographic film performances. For many sex workers, their line of work sparks stigma and social isolation. “There’s a lot of stigma because sex workers, like other marginalized groups, are sort of relegated to the category of ‘the other,’ ” says Treena Orchard, associate professor in the school of health studies at Western University. “There’s a fear, a longstanding stigma, that links women and sexuality as being wicked, as being dangerous, as being a threat.” Many of Lynn’s family members, including her mom, have completely cut ties with her because of her job. “They have this preconceived misconception that I sit around at home and shoot up drugs all day,” Lynn explains. “But it’s not like that.

I’m so plain-Jane in my real life that it’s not even funny.” Orchard has also found through her research and work that most women in the sex trade have children. It’s a fact most people disregard, but in fact, many sex workers are mothers. Lynn introduced her 27-year-old daughter, who goes by Emm during work, to the same line of business. “When my daughter started this, I told her from the beginning, ‘You must know where Emm ends and where [the real you] begins.’ ” Lynn says she and her daughter support each other, helping each other through the day-to-day difficulties of their job. Beyond her daughter, Lynn says her late father, her siblings and her friends have all shown support throughout the years with kindness and understanding. Despite her solo Valentine’s Days, Lynn says that she has a support network, and at this point, sex work is a choice. Lynn does her work to make an income. She says it’s all about

customer service, and it’s nothing to make $1,500 a day. “Doesn’t mean [the sex worker] likes it, but it’s a resource,” said Orchard, about sex work in London. “For a lot of women it’s one aspect of their lives.... Lots of very logical things go into making their decisions.” For Lynn, it’s worth it, but she says there are other girls who struggle with it a lot more. Lynn says most of the time, sex workers are ignored or their voices go unheard. In London, several services work to improve their conditions, like Anova and SafeSpace, which aim to fight against stigma, empower and support women and provide them with the resources and counselling they may need. “My job doesn’t define me. … [It] doesn’t rule me, but I do like to make my buck everyday,” says Lynn. *Lynn requested anonymity to avoid further social isolation from friends and family.

View It. Love It. Experience It. Going to University is extraordinary — how you live it should be too. At 1231 & 1265 Richmond Street our modern living spaces feature large living areas and spacious bedrooms. Located right outside the Western University gates, a perfect location for you!

PRE-LEASING STARTING TODAY FOR MAY 1ST 2018!

BOOK YOUR TOUR PRIVATE TOUR TODAY

226.213.4885 226.213.4888 1231 Richmond Street, London, ON

1265 Richmond Street, London, ON

February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINE 11

SEXMAGAZINE • Sex in society

THE UNCONVINCING MARTYRS OF #METOO BY RICHARD JOSEPH “At this rate, I won’t even be able to look at the women I work with anymore,” goes the common refrain. This particular iteration of the #MeToo “backlash” has become almost hilariously predictable. It’s like the International League of Persecuted Dudes issued a boilerplate response, to be repeated ad infinitum by their members. First, derail a nuanced conversation by invoking some imaginary Puritan dystopia. Then bemoan how the #MeToo movement has conflated a lighthearted tap on the bottom with assault, ignoring the varied conversations about consent permeating mainstream media. The martyrs of this apparent inquisition? Politicians and celebrities. Ontario Progressive Conservative Party leader Patrick Brown’s disheveled resignation, following allegations of sexual misconduct, set off the usual firestorm of debate, involving the familiar questions: Whatever happened to due process? Whatever happened to “innocent until proven guilty”? Rosie DiManno, in the Toronto Star, says

12 SEXMAGAZINE February, 2018

it’s “an affront to fairness.” It’s the same line of reasoning that cropped up after Babe.net’s Aziz Ansari story. Ansari, Brown and former U.S. senator Al Franken are held up as the casualties of the unthinking #MeToo stampede, careers ruined for doing things that were comparatively not that bad. The thing is, none of these figures are facing legal action. And there, in a court of law, is where due process is immensely important. But the careers of public figures, by contrast, are built on public opinion. They knowingly entered into a career dictated by the fickle, unpredictable, sometimes nonsensical force of popularity. Ansari, Brown and Franken aren’t being prosecuted, and there is no Puritan dystopia on our horizon. The guillotine of public opinion is, importantly, not a real guillotine. But what I feel — and what many others feel — is simply distaste, or disgust, with their behaviour. I’ve not met anyone claiming they’re Weinstein-like predators, but I’ve met many people who find their actions puerile, inappropriate or just creepy.

I admired Ansari for a long time. I was beyond happy to finally have some decent Asian-American representation in media and glad to see a brown actor who wasn’t a punchline or a sidekick. But after reading the Babe.net exposé — even though it was an amateurish, bungled mess — I found his sexual behaviour (which he hasn’t denied) simply off-putting, particularly from a man who claims such expertise in modern dating, and I don’t want to watch his material any longer. I am, essentially, disappointed. Should Ansari lose his career over this? Well, there’s no indication that he will. But even if he does, that’s the game he signed up for, just as Franken and Brown did; a game refereed by the fickle whims of the public. There’s never been any justice in entertainment or politics, as other columnists have pointed out. Another PC party hopeful, Robert Stanford, is believed to have lost the election because he fumbled a football. Iowan presidential candidate Howard Dean torpedoed his own image with an ill-advised scream. The Dixie Chicks and Sinead O’Connor, too, made one wrong move and

found themselves becoming pariahs overnight. Where was the outrage then? Where was the call for due process? Why is it only when we’re dealing with the #MeToo moments, even bolstered by credible evidence of sexual misconduct and poor behaviour, that this weird sanctimoniousness raises its head? The #MeToo movement leaves us with a message. If you have a history of sexual sleaziness, or if you regularly indulge in sordid — though legal — activity, perhaps you shouldn’t run for office or write a book on how to date. Celebrity status and political careers are essentially based on how much people like you. Stating that men like Ansari, Brown and Franken shouldn’t lose their careers is a fair enough point — but it’s basically saying “people should still like them,” which is also a fundamentally useless point. Certainly, the legions of credibly accused men have a right to due process and a right to defend themselves; alongside these rights, I also have the right to dislike them. Harsh? Perhaps. Welcome to showbiz.

February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINE 13

CURING THE STIgma BY GRACE TO

EVERYBODY HAS SEX. BUT NOT EVERYBODY MAY BE HAVING SAFE, PROTECTED SEX.

exually transmitted infections are not a common ice-breaker on a first date. While it may be an awkward conversation, it is an important one to have in a relationship. Dan Flaherty, communications manager of the Middlesex-London Health Unit, wrote in an email that there has been an increase in sexually transmitted infections across the province, especially chlamydia and gonorrhea. He also reported an increasing trend of STI testing at the Health Unit’s clinic between 2015 and 2017. “We have found that some people may believe that testing is not easy, but the truth is that it is as easy as peeing in a cup,” said Flaherty, adding that STI testing at the Health Unit is free, confidential and does not require a health card. Despite STIs and STI testing being on the rise, many believe that there is still a lack of conversation surrounding sexual health. Treena Orchard, associate professor in the school of health studies, said that the stigma of STIs is not unique to Western’s campus. She explained that people don’t tend to have adequate discussions about sexual health in North American classrooms or everyday conversations. According to Orchard, this stigma stems from the way people talk about — or don’t talk about — sex. “Sex is seen as something that sells; it’s very commodified. We’re very interested in anything that has to do with sex, … yet it is seen as taboo,” said Orchard. “Those are two entirely different ways of looking at this complicated phenomenon.” Orchard further expanded by stating that the stigma associated with sex has been in place for centuries and that sex can be found in the law, ideas

about religion and rituals. Many also tend to associate sex with morality, which leads to judgments about people with STIs. “There’s very old, long-standing associations with women with STIs,” said Orchard. “That they’re easy women, loose women, women as being predisposed biologically as sort of a repository for STIs. These are some problematic stigmas.” Orchard also listed gay men and sex workers as minority groups that are often regarded as being more promiscuous or having more kinds of infections, which is false. Another myth, according to Orchard, is that older people do not have STIs, pointing to the rising rate of STIs among baby-boomers. In order to change the way we talk about sexual health, Orchard believes that we must change the way we talk about sex. “People often call it ‘play,’ ” said Orchard, referring to sex. “We have to be taught about sex in very different ways. … There’s so many fears surrounding it. Things need to change a very early age and only then will we approach it differently.” Due to the STI stigma, Orchard said that there are special dating sites for people with herpes and HIV. STIs can be prevented by using a condom. Flaherty reported that thousands of free condoms were distributed at the Health Unit’s STI clinic and to community partners last year. However, Orchard said that giving away free condoms is useless if people aren’t talking about sex productively. She also said that many women do not tend to carry condoms, fearing that they might seem too eager or promiscuous. “There’s fun, interesting and smart ways to talk about sex that are going to be a lot healthier and yield better sex,” said Orchard. “Life’s short — you shouldn’t have bad sex.” Talking about sexual health is part of a healthy relationship. By opening up discussions about STIs, it can enhance trust and honesty in a relationship.

February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINE 15

SEXMAGAZINE • Sex in society

CONSENT IN 2018 BY VIVIAN CHENG AND LUKAS SONKE

ith more and more #MeToo stories surfacing, safety and issues of consent are growing concerns among men and women alike. The growing prevalence of these stories has made many realize how much more work there is to do. And they have made the unfortunate truth clear: anyone can be affected by a sexual violence. Kaitlin Bardswich, communications and development officer of Women’s Shelters Canada, explains that the hashtag ranges from smaller micro-aggressions, like catcalling, to violent crimes, like sexual assault. These crimes, however, aren’t just committed by strangers on the streets or in the dark alleyways of the world. A Statistics Canada reports shows that victims previously knew the perpetrator in nearly 90 per cent of police-reported sexual assaults in Canada between 2009-15. But knowing the perpetrator isn’t always enough to lead to a conviction. Tyler Totten, a sexuality studies professor at Western University, says that part of the problem is the enforcement of the law. He goes on to say that, although Canada has strict standards

16 SEXMAGAZINE February, 2018

for what counts as consent to sexual activity, there’s a disconnect between the law and social norms. Bardswich says another part is the skepticism and vilification of women when they report these crimes. Although societal changes are the only way to truly solve these problems, others are working on more technological solutions in the meantime. LegalFling, developed in the Netherlands, is an app that tries to address these two concerns. The app creates a “Live Contract,” which provides documentation of sexual consent for partners and tries to make the conversation around consent less confusing and more accessible. The hope is that LegalFling will allow users to comfortably and easily agree to sexual consent before sexual activities occur. Users can revoke consent verbally or automatically if they’re unconscious. The app does not provide definitive proof of consent and does not provide a right or obligation to perform any sexual activity. The service also admits that the legality of the document varies from place to place.

Although the app may have benefits, both Totten and Bardswich believe it poses some serious issues. Both say the document cannot be used in a legal system and may create confusion if one person revokes their consent. However, they both note that the app may help get the conversation started about sex and what both parties are comfortable with. Second-year medical sciences student, Adanna Odunze, believes LegalFling is ridiculous. Odunze insists she would not use the app. “Society should understand that you don’t need an app to be with each other. We can be with each other without feeling the need to sexually abuse,” says Odunze. Regarding the #MeToo movement, Bardswich believes that it has positively impacted the community by making individuals more cognizant and sensitive to power dynamics. Totten also says that the movement has started a lot of positive conversation about consent and has helped pave the way for social education about consent. He’s noticed that his students have been more eager to talk about consent and sexual assault this year than in previous years. Totten, Bardswich and Odunze hope that the conversation continues to thrive. “Enthusiastic consent extends to everything. Having consensual relationships and experiences is a right and something we all deserve,” says Bardwich.

February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINE 17

20â€‚ SEXMAGAZINE February, 2018

February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINEâ€‚ 21

SEXMAGAZINE

SEX SURVEY Results based on 708 online-survey responses

61% identify as female

37% identify as male 1% identify as non-binary

77% identify as straight

7% identify as gay 1% identify as asexual

1% identify as other

12% identify as bisexual 2% identify as pansexual 1% identify as other

16% have had zero sex partners

83% believe in monogamy

3% do not believe in monogamy

12% have had 8-12 sex partners 6% have had 13-19 sex partners 7% have had 20+ sex partners

26% have sex a few times a week 20% have never had sex 19% have sex once a week

16% have sex once a month

15% have 4% have sex every sex every few months day

22 SEXMAGAZINE February, 2018

1% are married

42% are 8% say in a it’s complicated relationship

17% haven’t lost their virginity

38% have had 1-3 sex partners 21% have had 4-7 sex partners

49% are single

3% lost their virginity at 14 years old or younger 36% lost their virginity at 15-17 years old 37% lost their virginity at 18-20 years old

4% believe in monogamy but it’s not for them

10% are unsure with monogamy

6% lost their virginity at 21-23 years old 1% lost their virginity at 24 years old or older

15% have never masturbated 50% masturbate once or twice a week 18% masturbate every other day 13% masturbate everyday 4% masturbate a couple times a day

11% keep their pubic hair natural

49% keep their pubic hair maintained or trimmed

40% keep their pubic hair shaved or bare

83% have not had sex on campus

6% have hooked up with a professor or TA

94% have not hooked up with a professor or TA

17% have had sex on campus

20% think size matters

63% think size somewhat matters

17% think size doesn’t matter

Favourite sex positions: Doggy Cowgirl Missonary Girl on top 69

90% have not had a threesome

10% have had a threesome

uld wo eing % 9 2 rb ide baby s n co ugar as 48% not c would bein onsider gas u baby gar 23% might consider being a sugar baby

Top songs about sex: I Just Had Sex - The Lonely Island Skin - Rihanna Pony - Ginuine Ignition - R Kelly Partition - Beyoncé

What’s most attractive: Face (30%) Butt (17%) Chest (15%) Arms (13%) Back (7%) Abs (7%) Legs (7%) Other (4%)

Top Celebrity crushes: Zac Efron Emma Watson Mila Kunis Ryan Gosling Harry Styles February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINE 23

SEXMAGAZINE • Let’s talk intercourse

LET’S GET IT ON: THE ULTIMATE SEX PLAYLIST BY MADHAV SINGHAL 1. “HOLD ON, WE’RE GOING HOME (FEAT. MAJID JORDAN)” — DRAKE 2. “THINKIN BOUT YOU” — FRANK OCEAN

11. “OR NAH (REMIX)” FEAT. THE WEEKND, WIZ KHALIFA AND DJ MUSTARD — TY DOLLA $IGN

3. “FIRE & DESIRE” — DRAKE

12. “GET YOU GOOD” — ROY WOODS 13. “OFTEN (KYGO REMIX)” — THE WEEKND

4. “GOOD FOR YOU” — SELENA GOMEZ

14. “PILLOWTALK” — ZAYN

5. “WHILE WE’RE YOUNG” — JHENÉ AIKO

15. “SEXUAL HEALING” — MARVIN GAYE

6. “SKIN” — RIHANNA

16. “IGNITION (REMIX)” — R. KELLY

7. “BIRTHDAY SEX” — JEREMIH

17. “WICKED GAMES” — THE WEEKND

8. “SLOW MOTION” — TREY SONGZ

18. “ADORN” — MIGUEL

9. “BACK TO SLEEP” — CHRIS BROWN

19. “LEARN YA” — 6LACK

10. “RIDE (REMIX) FEAT. TY DOLLA $IGN AND K CAMP” — SOMO

20. “GET YOU (FEAT. KALI UCHIS)” — DANIEL CAESAR

SCAN WITH SNAPCHAT TO DOWNLOAD THEPLAYLIST

24 SEXMAGAZINE February, 2018

2017’S STEAMIEST SCENES BY NICK SOKIC The year 2017 saw a variety of depictions of sex and sexual acts — fruit was a factor in a few, and some were even outside the realm of reality. Here’s a smattering of the best, in no particular order. Call Me by Your Name — the peach scene Already considered a landmark in LGBTQ+ cinema, the film focuses on the passionate romance between the teenaged Elio (Timothée Chalamet) and American grad student Oliver (Armie Hammer). The reason it’s on this list is for its simultaneously shocking and moving scene involving a peach. The Shape of Water — Eliza and the amphibian Who would have thought that a romance between a mute woman and an unnamed fish monster would be one of the most moving relationships of the year? In Guillermo del Toro’s fantasy, Eliza (Sally Hawkins) and the monster (Doug Jones) consummate their love in the flooded bathroom of her apartment. The logistics of woman-fish sex are largely left to the imagination, aside from Eliza’s sign language description to her co-worker, Zelda (Octavia Spencer). American Gods — Salim and the jinn In terms of diversity representation in media, this one checks off several boxes, and then some. In Bryan Fuller and Michael Green’s drama, the Muslim cab driver Salim (Omid Abtahi) meets a man for what he thinks is an ordinary romance. The man turns out to be an ancient jinn (Mousa Kraish), however, and finishes their intimate four-minute sex scene by ejaculating fire.

The Disaster Artist — Tommy and Juliette As much as James Franco’s The Disaster Artist was merely a recreation of many of the scenes from Tommy Wiseau’s infamous The Room, the highly improbable sex between Franco and his co-star Juliette Danielle (Ari Graynor) definitely deserves a spot on the list. Basically, Franco’s Wiseau is having sex with her belly button, to both the characters on set and the audience’s disbelief. Blade Runner 2049 — K, Joi and Mariette This threesome between Ryan Gosling’s K, his holographic girlfriend, Joi (Ana de Armas), and their flesh-and-blood surrogate, Mariette (Mackenzie Davis), is a feat of visual effects. Joi is layered over Mariette in an attempt to simulate real intimacy for K in an equal parts erotic and disturbing scenario that is also a pure distillation of the movie’s themes. Game of Thrones — Grey Worm and Missandei This long-simmering romance between the Mother of Dragons’ lieutenant and her handmaiden is finally consummated in the second episode of the seventh season. Grey Worm (Jacob Anderson) reveals himself to Missandei (Nathalie Emmanuel), and her look of love seals the deal. Girls Trip — Dina and the grapefruit When Lisa (Jada Pinkett Smith) needs some tips on giving blowjobs, her friend Dina (Tiffany Haddish) steps in with the tried-and-true grapefruit method. Explain what it is, what goes wrong Rather than sexy, this one is just simply hilarious.

February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINE 25

SEXMAGAZINE

When Carlen Costa was 12 years old, living with her Catholic family in a small town outside of London, she spoke out as a feminist for the first time. When the priest from her parish was desperately looking for more altar boys, Carlen asked: “Why just boys?”

carlen costa

spilling the tea

with sexologist

by gabrielle drolet

26 SEXMAGAZINE February, 2018

fter starting a petition and speaking out within her community, Carlen’s parish became the first in Southwestern Ontario to have female altar servers. Now a relationship psychotherapist and an acclaimed sexologist, Carlen explains that her understanding of feminism has shifted and grown. Though she had been a feminist and activist at heart since childhood, she has since devoted her life to a specific type of feminism — inclusive, sex-positive feminism. Carlen has an office in London, where she sees clients of all different genders and sexualities to support them through their relationships and personal lives. Whether clients come in to discuss identity, orgasms or dating, Carlen says that all of her clients have one thing in common: they want to strengthen their self-esteem. “I see people who have different kinds of sex, people who are transitioning, people who are in the LGBTQ+ community, people who are heterosexual,” she says. “But everybody wants to feel better about themselves.

No matter what it is, the underlying thing is always that people don’t feel good enough.” Carlen’s goal is to change that. She wants to alter the way people approach sex as well as the way they see themselves. She emphasizes that communication, understanding and self-esteem are the most important aspects of healthy relationships. Unfortunately, not everyone can make it to a therapy session or feel comfortable discussing their concerns openly. To make sex-education and conversations about self-love accessible, Carlen has extended her work beyond traditional therapy sessions. She creates opportunities for herself outside of the office by hosting weekly Facebook Live Q&As, appearing on radio talk shows, presenting at universities and writing for international magazines like Cosmopolitan and Refinery29. “There are some people who aren’t having the conversations they need to have … so I want to provide conversations in another way,” Carlen explains. “I feel like my job, my vocation, is my mission.” ❱❱

February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINEâ€‚ 27

SEXMAGAZINE

“I sat around one day and asked myself ‘What would my life look like in five years?’ I visualized myself as a lawyer in court, with kids, stressed right the fuck out and just not happy. Every time I did the exercise, I kept seeing myself unhappy.”

spilling the tea

carlen costa

with sexologist

his isn’t the life Carlen had always envisioned for herself. Her father wanted her to be a lawyer, which led to studying pre-law at Western University. It wasn’t until her third-year when Carlen realized that studying law wasn’t what she wanted. “I sat around one day and asked myself ‘What would my life look like in five years?’ I visualized myself as a lawyer, in court, with kids, stressed right the fuck out and just not happy. Every time I did the exercise, I kept seeing myself unhappy.” Carlen realized that she wanted to go into therapy — not law — when she weighed her skills and interests. She recognized that one of her favourite things to do was giving her friends advice about sex and relationships, recalling one particular weekend when she and her friends all went out to Ceeps. The night ended with everyone sitting in Carlen’s room, crying and laughing as they discussed relationships, their sex lives and their hopes for the future. She remembers waking up the next day and thinking, “That’s it. That’s what I want to do. I want to do this, as a job, forever.” She recognized that to do that — to have conversations about relationships,

28 SEXMAGAZINE February, 2018

sex and well-being — she would have to become a therapist. When Carlen took women’s studies classes, she finally learned about sex-positive feminism and the ways in which she could tie that into her future career. “There was this whole world of women who I had no idea existed,” she recalls. “Then professor Wendy Pearson, who taught queer studies and film, taught me about Judith Butler. And I was like ‘gender performativity? Sex-positive feminism?’ It all blew my fucking mind.” That’s when Carlen became more involved with fourth-wave feminism, realizing that she could be outspoken and sex-positive while advocating for the equality of all genders. “I learned that I could be a woman who wanted to advocate for social and economic injustices while being a sexual woman and talk about sex work, sexuality and all of that stuff without feeling ashamed.” Today, Carlen uses her job to advocate for equality in the same way she did when she was 12, using her platforms to reach greater audiences. She hopes that by remaining outspoken, she can continue to teach others about sexuality, equality and self-love. n

Students sent in their burning questions regarding sex, love and relationships to the Gazette?. Dr. Carlen Costa, a relationship psychotherapist and sexologist, is here with answers.

Q&A with a sexologist

letâ€™s talk about sex February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINEâ€‚ 29

by gabrielle drolet

SEXMAGAZINE

What is the key to good casual sex or finding a friend with benefits?

time to be intimate with yourself — consider masturbating to be part of a healthy lifestyle.

Carlen says the key to good casual sex — and to all good sex — is honesty. “Be clear about what your expectations are, what you’re in for, and be upfront right from the beginning,” she says. So long as everyone involved is open to discussing consent and sexual desires, finding a friend with benefits can be both fun and empowering.

Is it bad to fake an orgasm?

Can every woman orgasm? Yes! Believe it or not, every woman is capable of having orgasms. But, Carlen explains that women often aren’t able to orgasm because of the pressure placed on them to do so or because of the relationships they have with their bodies. “When we are challenged to achieve orgasm, it’s often because we’re not giving ourselves permission to experience the pleasure in our bodies.”

How often should I be masturbating? Our sexologist answers this question with another one: “How often are you horny?” She explains that, simply put, people should masturbate as often as they feel the need to. Her biggest piece of advice is to make sure that you’re making the

30 SEXMAGAZINE February, 2018

When asked this question, Carlen’s response was a firm: “Fuck yes, it is.” While women commonly fake orgasms, she says faking it comes with repercussions. “That’s telling your partner, whoever they are, that what they’re doing to you is right and that it feels good. You’re misinforming their skills.” Ultimately, good sex all comes down to communication. “If it doesn’t feel good, tell them it doesn’t feel good and show them what does,” Carlen says.

Does size matter? According to Carlen, when it comes to penetrative sex, the one thing that matters more than size is confidence. “It’s all about how you feel in your body and how you feel about the situation that you’re about to go into,” she says.

Do you have any advice for good period sex? Carlen expresses that period sex feels especially good since it provides both natural lubrication and heightened sensitivity. The key is simply

to be prepared. “It’s gonna get a little messy,” she says. “Have a towel laid down, maybe a couple if you have white sheets.” She also provides us with a pro tip: if you have period sex in the shower, you don’t have to worry about cleaning up.

How do I start exploring kinks? If you’re just starting to explore kinks, Carlen says to take it slow and to be open with your partner about what you find kinky. She says good places to start might include restraining or spanking. “Restraining can include handcuffs, bondage tape and silk ropes,” she says. “And you can spank with your hand, you can spank with a paddle, you can spank with the back of a brush.”

What kind of condoms should I be using? When it comes to condoms, there are a few different options. Whether you’re into icy-hot or ribbed, anything is fine so long as you’re using a condom that “fits well and that doesn’t irritate your partner.” If you or your partner is sensitive, you should always opt for the simplest options to avoid irritation. Carlen explains that certain condoms — especially flavoured ones — are more likely

to cause irritation because of the high glycerin contents in their lube. Ultimately, “Any condom is better than no condom, especially if we’re talking about safer sex.”

When should I be using lube? “Always! You should always be using lube,” Carlen says. “Not only with vaginal sex but with anal sex and masturbation as well.” Factors like medication, stress and dehydration can limit natural lubrication, so lube is never a bad idea. If you’re not sure which kind to buy, she advises to go with water-based since it’s compatible with all toys, all condoms and generally all bodies.

Best sex tip? Carlen’s best sex tip? “Masturbate!” Masturbating is an important part of discovering what feels good and what you enjoy so that you can communicate that with your partner during sex. “If we don’t know what feels good, how can we expect someone else to know what feels good for us?”

February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINE 31

SEXMAGAZINE • Let’s talk intercourse

DITCH THE FUCK BOYS, BUY A FUCK TOY BY EMILY TAYLER The use of sex toys dates back to ancient times. Dildos were imported from Italy and France and became an object that struck fear into the hearts of men. They became the centre of satire and protest. Men feared sex toys because they were an emblem of female sexuality — a woman no longer needed a man for pleasure. These controversial items have changed drastically over time — and, thankfully, are no longer made of wood. In 2018, independent sex shops, like Spot of Delight in London, Ont., aim to create a more sexpositive environment. Spot of Delight is also an early adopter of body-safe materials, which are non-porous materials made to be safe and sanitary for entering the body. Currently, many sex toys are unregulated, so these body-safe products offer an added layer of comfort and safety for customers. Each material provides a different experience, and each has their perks. The staff explains some of the benefits: silicone for flexibility, stainless steel for weight and glass for a clean appearance. There’s a lot to consider when choosing the right sex toy for you — whether that be your first or “the one.” Luckily, Spot of Delight, is here to help. To aid the process, the staff recommends their favourite products.

BULLET VIBRATOR Bullet vibrators are best sellers as they are great for beginners. They are small and simple to use, while still providing strong vibrations. A bullet style vibrator is also a good transition to using sex toys within a relationship, as the toy is small enough to fit between bodies and is non-intrusive. It can be used on any body part and is considerably more discreet than other toys.

COCK RING The most recommended cock ring is the Tantus Super Soft C Ring because it is made of stretchy nonporous silicone. The stretchy material disperses the pressure for a more comfortable wear. It’s important to note that it is often assumed that the product goes around the shaft; however, for the best use, the ring is worn around the entire genitalia.

THE MAGIC WAND The Vibratex Hitachi Magic Wand is a fan favourite among sex bloggers and sexual educators for it’s powerful vibrations. But this is not a toy for beginners. The powerful massager can be too intense for direct contact and instead should, at least at first, be used through layers of towels. But for those interested in other wand-style toys with a less intense vibration, there are alternatives.

INTERNAL VIBRATOR The We-Vibe Rave is a high-end sex toy favoured by many. The Rave is controlled by the We-Connect smartphone app, allowing the user to adjust and control the vibrator to their personal preference. This toy provides powerful vibrations that can be used both internally and externally. It’s a good middle-ground toy as it is more advanced than a bullet but is still easy to use.

February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINE 33

SEXMAGAZINE • Intersectionality

IMPROVING LGBTQ+ VISIBILITY ON CAMPUS BY CHARLIE O’CONNOR CLARKE

34 SEXMAGAZINE February, 2018

Walking around Western University’s campus, you may notice the rainbow-coloured crosswalks. You might also spot signs on washroom doors saying, “Western respects everyone’s right to choose a washroom appropriate for them.” Over the years, Western has made strides to increase support and representation for members of Western’s LGBTQ+ community. For example, there’s Ontario Hall’s LGBTQ+ and Ally floor and Weldon Library’s Pride Library. Recently, Western also launched an antioppression training program for staff and hundreds of student groups. Rick Ezekiel, interim senior director of Western’s student experience portfolio, hopes the program will have a positive impact on inclusivity on campus. “The intention of that is to work toward shifting cultures on our campus a little bit and to build some of the skills that folks need to be an effective ally for students or colleagues who are experiencing oppression,” Ezekiel says. One student staple on campus is PrideWestern, a University Students’ Council group mandated to provide support for LGBTQ+ students. Comprised entirely of volunteer students, PrideWestern has done a lot of advocacy work this past year, focusing on specific issues, such as washroom advocacy. PrideWestern has been a driving force behind the washroom signs around campus as well as the all-gender washrooms in the FIMS and Nursing Building. However, Marie Fiedler, PrideWestern’s coordinator, believes there’s still a lot of work to be done. Even Fiedler, who’s now deeply involved with PrideWestern, didn’t know the group existed during her first two years at Western. “I didn’t know who to turn to. I didn’t know that there was a community on campus,” she says. Compared to the University of Toronto, which has full-time staff in its Sexual & Gender Diversity Office dedicated to LGBTQ+ issues, PrideWestern — a volunteer organization — is the university’s sole, fully queer-specific support resource, according to Fiedler. This year, PrideWestern is working on sending out a survey to assess LGBTQ+ students’ needs in the campus community and gauge the general state of affairs. According to Fiedler though, that task shouldn’t be falling to students. “I don’t think that most individuals feel they’re being adequately represented,” she says. Ezekiel, too, is aware of the challenges. “When you don’t necessarily see role models or services or symbols that you can connect with, that can create challenges in feeling like you’re part of the community,” he says.

Currently, it’s difficult to gauge queer representation on campus. The university has no demographic figures for what proportion of its student, staff and faculty identify as LGBTQ+. However, last October, Western — along with other Canadian universities — committed to a diversity and inclusion action plan, with one core mandate being the collection of reliable equity data. Fiedler has plenty of things in mind for the future of LGBTQ+ support at Western. One thing she says is particularly important is reforming the name change process: it’s currently a prohibitively bureaucratic process for students to have name changes or preferred names recognized by the university, an issue that disproportionately affects transgender individuals. She also says that while both Western and the USC often invite queer students to provide input, neither body is very accountable when it comes to implementing recommendations or following up. In spite of these barriers, Fiedler and Ezekiel both praise the student leaders who work tirelessly to advocate for gender and sexual diversity. The students involved with PrideWestern, Ally Western and Spectrum all go well beyond their defined positions to help out marginalized communities. Fiedler does see improvement. She tells a story of one friend who saw rainbow flags on the MedwaySydenham soph uniforms on move-in day and immediately felt more comfortable. Ezekiel says small gestures like that and the rainbow crosswalks are a step in the right direction. “I actually think it does a lot,” he says. “It’s working to increase visibility on the campus.” For Fiedler, everything ultimately goes back to the students. “I’m not pretending that our campus is the best place yet, but part of the reason it isn’t complete shit is because of all this over-andabove student work,” Fiedler says. “They just care so much about the well-being and safety of our community.”

February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINE 35

SEXMAGAZINE SEXMAGAZINE • • Couples Intersectionality

“

I didn’t know who to turn to. I didn’t know that there was a community on campus.

"The intention of that is to work toward shifting cultures on our campus a little bit and building some of the skills that folks would need to be an effective ally for students or colleagues who are experiencing oppression on our campus" 36 SEXMAGAZINE February, 2018

ANIMAL ATTRACTION:

DISPELLING MYTHS ABOUT FURRIES BY NICK SOKIC

“Fur and Loathing,” a 2003 episode of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, sums up the media’s perception of the furry community. Lead investigators show up to a furry convention, and it quickly boils down to one thing: a costume-clad orgy. Fifteen years later, many will argue that not much has changed. But while the media loves to fetishize furries, members argue there’s much more to subculture than sex. The term “furry” describes people who inhabit the identity or character of an anthropomorphic animal they create, sometimes called a “fursona.” Fursonas can exist solely online or manifest through full-body “fursuits,” as often seen at conventions. Furries can also be people who are fans of media featuring anthropomorphic animals,

like Zootopia. Zoe Landon, a master’s of media in journalism and communication student at Western University and self-identified furry, says the public oversexualizes the furry community because it’s seen as deviant from sexual norms. Research has found non-binary gender identities, such as homosexuality and bisexuality, are overrepresented in the furry fandom. “It creates the impression that [the sexual aspect] is all [the community] is about instead of being one part of a broader conversation,” Landon says. Landon got into the community online when she was around 13 years old, and one of its main appeals was the furry fandom’s friendliness toward the LGBTQ+ community. >>

February, 2018 SEXMAGAZINE 37

SEXMAGAZINE • Intersectionality

“I’m transgender, and at the time, I was figuring that out. This was the first community where I could say I was a girl, and people would be like, ‘OK, what species?’ ” “I’m transgender, and at the time, I was figuring that out. This was the first community where I could say I was a girl, and people would be like, ‘OK, what species?’ ” Landon says. Landon says she was able to feel comfortable expressing her reality in a community that was a little removed from reality. Landon identifies with a rabbit fursona, preferring only a hat with ears and a tail. Art is also deeply intwined with the community. As a writer and musician, Landon was heavily drawn to the artistic aspect of being a furry. She says there’s a high level of creativity involved in the construction of characters and identities. Characters art can be drawn or commissioned, and sellers will craft fursuits for upwards of $2,000. Tylar Ingles, a former furry artist and Londoner, also entered the fandom in his early teens, drawn to the community’s artistic aspect. Although he left the community at 19, Ingles produced furry art, charging anywhere between $10 for sketches to $60 for paintings, digital or otherwise. Ingles describes three different types of furries: those attracted to the social aspects, those who commission the art and the artists themselves. “Drawing furries is easy, because even if it’s a little messed up, it’s not something real so it’s not gonna look like it’s wrong because it is wrong,” says Ingles. “I used it as a way to learn human anatomy for a time.” Ingles is also transgender and found solace in the role-playing aspect of being a furry. While Ingles had a tail, he never really wore it because most of his fursona identity had to do with the 38 SEXMAGAZINE February, 2018

art he drew. “It was easier to insert myself into a story as an animal than as a woman for some reason,” Ingles says. Ingles says that, while those interested in the sexual aspect of the fandom are not the majority, it still plays a large role. According to him, a large portion of the art on furaffinity.net is pornographic and only accessible with an account. Last time Ingles checked, his own page had over 30,000 hits and “a couple thousand subscribers,” but he fell out of the fandom over an art commission he just didn’t want to draw. The fan was a baby fur, someone who likes to see their furry drawn in diapers and as a child. Ingles says he refused, at which point the fan and other baby furs came after Ingles online. Now, at 24 years old, he only draws furry art for a high price. “I do believe I got the brunt of it because I was an artist that got fairly popular, and they just kind of came out of the woodwork,” says Ingles. “To say that furries aren’t sexual is ridiculous, because everyone is sexual.” Despite their different experiences in the furry community, both Landon and Ingles, saw it as a place where people are free to express themselves, no matter how niche. Landon even relates this to her graduate courses: “We were talking about the real self and the performed self, and I’m just thinking, ‘We’ve spent the last 10 minutes talking about why furries exist.’ ”

YOU COULD WIN A PRIZE PACK AND PASSES TO SEE

TO ENTER, TELL US WHAT YOU PLAY AT YOUR BY EMAILING contests@westerngazette.ca

FREE CUSTOM WHITENING KIT WITH NEW PATIENT EXAM AND CLEANING • New and Emergency Patients Welcome • • STUDENT AND STAFF DENTAL PLANS ACCEPTED FOR DIRECT PAYMENT •

dentalstudiolondon.com