January 2010
FC/Marriage/2010-01pr
Effects of Pornography on Relationships Naomi Weeks, M.S., Weber County FCS Agent
Pornography is not a new issue in relationships; however, the expansion of the Internet appears to have increased pornography viewing and exacerbated pre-existing tendencies (Cooper, Boies, Maheu & Greenfield, 1999; Young, 2008). One key factor in this increase is the convenience, affordability, and the anonymous nature of Internet pornography (Cooper, 1998; Young, 2008; Young, Cooper, Griffen-Shelley, O’Mara, & Buchanan, 2000). Many individuals never anticipate or expect that viewing pornography will negatively influence their lives, yet this often significantly impacts the user as well as his or her family, workplace, and community. The couple relationship, in particular, often feels the most negative effects of pornography (Manning, 2006). This fact sheet will review some of the impacts of pornography on partner relationships and provide steps toward healing a relationship hurt by pornography. Negative Impacts Pornography can have negative consequences for both the user and his or her intimate partner. Some of the common damaging effects of pornography for users can include addiction, isolation, increased aggression, distorted beliefs and perceptions about relationships and sexuality, negative feelings about themselves, and neglecting other areas of their lives (Maltz & Maltz, 2006; Manning, 2006). These negative consequences often carry over into other aspects of their lives, especially family and couple relationships. Within couple intimate relationships, pornography can have negative impacts in the following ways (Bridges, Bergner & Hesson-
McInnis, 2003; Landau, Garret & Webb, 2008; Manning, 2006; Schneider, 2000a; Schneider, 2003): • User faces difficulty becoming sexually aroused without pornography. • User loses interest and engages in fewer sexual experiences with partner. • Partner may view pornography use as infidelity and a betrayal to the relationship. • Partner feels sexually inadequate and threatened by pornography use. • Partner may feel that certain sexual activities desired by user are objectionable. • Both user and partner experience a decrease in relationship sexual satisfaction and emotional closeness. • Relationship trust decreases due to dishonesty and deception about pornography use. • One or both partners may be concerned about children’s exposure to pornographic materials. Steps Toward Change While the negative impact on relationships can be challenging to overcome, healing is possible. It is first essential that an individual want to make the steps toward recovery. Others may encourage steps toward change, but only the user can ultimately make the transformation (Landau, Garrett & Webb, 2008). Without internal motivation, change will likely be superficial or short-lived. Second, the user must implement strategies to strengthen motivation to quit pornography. Some of these may include: