Coping With Loneliness (Part 3): Focus on What You Can Change Melanie Dabb, Jared Hawkins, Christina Pay, Eva Timothy, Cindy Jenkins, and Christine Jensen
The U.S. surgeon general named loneliness a top public health issue in the U.S. (Murthy, 2023). In response, Utah State University (USU) Extension faculty developed four fact sheets to describe some of the most effective ways to reduce loneliness. This third fact sheet describes ways to focus on what you can change. Many people who experience loneliness may feel that some aspects of social connection are outside of their control. However, focusing on what you can control can empower you to achieve greater connection. This fact sheet describes both actions and ways of thinking to help you focus on what you can change. These include using social media intentionally, reaching out for support, avoiding unhealthy relationships, focusing on helpful thoughts, adopting a growth mindset, and practicing gratitude.
This “Coping With Loneliness” fact sheet series addresses the most effective ways to enhance connectedness: Part 1 – Look Inward Part 2 – Look Outward Part 3 – Focus on What You Can Change Part 4 – Support Others Who Experience Loneliness
Use Social Media Intentionally One simple way to focus on what you can control is to use social media intentionally. Social media can be a helpful tool to facilitate meaningful interactions with others. For example, you can use social media to learn about community events, stay in contact with people who live distantly, share information, and communicate with many people. Using social media to facilitate direct interactions can reduce loneliness (Clark et al., 2018). On the other hand, passive social media use can sometimes heighten loneliness (Clark et al., 2018). People who experience loneliness are more prone to passively browsing social media to cope with emotional distress, and this can lead to unhealthy comparisons. Comparing your social situations with others can heighten the discrepancy between your desired and actual social connectedness (Burnell et al., 2019). Social media can also pressure people to represent themselves inauthentically, which can reduce genuine connection. Furthermore, spending time on social media can sometimes replace in-person interactions which provide much greater psychosocial benefits (Verduyn et al., 2021). 1