Coping With Grief and Loss for Agricultural Producers Jacob D. Gossner, Elizabeth B. Fauth, and Tasha Howard •
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.” – C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves, pg. 169
Social support. Being supported in grief is a strong predictor of outcomes (Cacciatore et al., 2021).
Some experiences with grief are clear, meaning some individuals may not feel profound sadness, or they may reach a time when they have worked through the grief, and it is no longer regularly present. Other deaths may result in complicated grief. These experiences may include profound feelings of sadness, anger, confusion, and other strong and ongoing emotions. Some people experiencing complicated grief may never feel that they have “gotten over it” or returned to “normal” and instead are learning to live with grief for many years.
As humans, we are social beings who form strong relationships; when these relationships end, through death, divorce, or estrangement, it is natural to feel a sense of loss. This resource is meant to provide some ideas for agricultural producers (individuals and families) seeking to cope with and respond to losing a loved one. At the end of the resource, we have included additional information for agricultural producers experiencing other types of loss, such as losing the farm or livestock.
Factors Influencing Loss of a Family Member or Friend
In addition to factors specific to the loss, how individuals and families cope with the experience of grief is a strong predictor of outcomes. For agricultural producers, many messages can imply that crying, mourning, or feeling sad are not normal or that they are signs of weakness. There can be the expectation, from yourself, others, or the necessity of work, that after a few weeks (or even days), things should be back to normal (Devine, 2017). A common strategy for many people is to avoid their pain, such as by keeping themselves too busy to think about or remember the person who passed away. While this is a
Researchers have identified several factors that influence the extent to which individuals feel distressed by a death (Mayo Clinic, 2021): • Closeness to the deceased. Losing a life partner or immediate family member is more likely to result in significant loss than losing a friend or distant kin (Robson & Walter, 2012). • Timing of the loss. Sudden and unexpected losses are often more distressing than gradual or anticipated losses. 1