The University Observer: Volume XVI, Issue 6 by The University Observer

SPORT

UCD FRESHERS OVERCOME QUEEN’S TEST BACK PAGE Observer Digest NEWS UCD Ball 2010 plans revealed Students’ Union plan 8,000 capacity event for last day of term PAGE 3

OPINION

SUPPLEMENT

HEAD TO HEAD: SHOULD WE ABANDON CHRISTMAS? PAGES 8-9

OTWO MEETS DAVID O’DOHERTY AND BILL BAILEY INSIDE

Observer The University

FEATURES Living a wireless life

VOLUME XVI ISSUE 6

Can a student survive for an entire day with no electricity whatsoever? PAGE 14

University hands confidential student records to media

24th November 2009

GAVAN REILLY

SCIENCE & HEALTH Keeping your nerves Some practical tips for coping with the pressures of the end of term PAGE 18

Only one third of reg fee for student services QUINTON O’REILLY UCD Students’ Union released a statement last week claiming that just €505 of the €1500 registration fee is spent on student services. According to the press release, the remainder of the fee is used to cover a core funding deficit from the government. The statement followed a similar statement issued to the Oireachtas Education Committee by Trinity College SU, which estimated that out of their €900 registration fee in 2008-2009, around €590 was spent directly on student services, while €310 was used to cover shortfalls in HEA funding. Opposition party spokespeople have demanded an immediate investigation into the breakdown of how student registration fees are spent in third level institutions in light of the statements. Both students’ union presidents, Gary Redmond and Conán Ó Broin, will meet with Higher Education Authority Chief Executive Tom Boland next week to discuss the registration fee. In his press release, UCDSU President Continued on P2 >>

24th November 2009 ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY... 1859: Charles Darwin first publishes On The Origin Of The Species

he University Observer can exclusively reveal major security flaws within the UCD Registry, which allow an individual to gain access to the detailed academic records of any graduate. UCD’s Student Desk supplied The University Observer with copies of full academic statements for two recent graduates, after this newspaper compiled two standard application forms impersonating the students whose grades were being sought. The forms in question require only basic details relating to the student’s enrolment in UCD – all of which may be available on university notice boards, over Blackboard, or through social networking sites such as Facebook. Both applications were signed with fraudulent signatures, and provided incorrect contact details and postal addresses for the students concerned. At no point during the application process did university employees contact the individuals in question to validate the requisition of the statement. In both cases, grades were despatched by post to addresses at which the students had never lived. The graduates had consented to The University Observer seeking copies of their grade statement, but did not themselves have any input, nor offer any assistance, in the applications. In one case, where a set of grades had been issued but lost in the postal system, The University Observer telephoned the Student Desk asking if further copies of

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the grades could be made available for collection later that day. The Student Desk consented to this and made copies available for a representative of this newspaper, posing as a friend of the graduate in question, to collect that afternoon. Offers from the caller, who was acting incognito, to give further details pertaining to the application – so as to assist in validating the caller’s supposed identity – were actively declined. The revelations mean that any individual in possession of a UCD graduate’s basic personal details may be capable of impersonating that graduate and be issued with detailed copies of their academic records. The news follows a significant breach of UCD’s data protection rules last year, where a spreadsheet containing the mobile and home phone numbers, email addresses and student numbers of almost five hundred students in the Quinn School of Business was posted to a public area of Blackboard. A similar issue occurred two years ago

Bill Bailey entertains the crowd last week in UCD after receiving a Honorary Life Membership of LawSoc, as well as the L&H’s James Joyce Award. Photo: Daire Brennan when the School of History & Archives displayed a list of names and student numbers on a public notice board alongside a list of exam results which were referenced by student number. Such practices are believed to still be widespread in many schools throughout UCD. In a statement to this newspaper, a university spokesperson advised students that “with the advent of new online social media, there are new opportunities

for individuals […] to falsely apply for copies of official academic transcripts.” The spokesperson added that UCD encouraged students “to remain extra vigilant about publishing any personal information in publicly accessible online media […] which may be added to information obtained from other sources to create an impersonation.” UCD Students’ Union President, Gary Redmond, commented “We’re obviously Continued on P3 >>

MCQ cancelled due to cheating COLIN SWEETMAN A multiple choice exam (MCQ) was cancelled in the Quinn School of Business last week following allegations of cheating amongst some students. The exam in the Financial Accounting II module, a core module for a number of degree programmes within the undergraduate School of Business, was cancelled after it emerged that some Commerce Students had photocopied their exam paper and shared copies with their counterparts in second year Business & Law (B&L) who were due to sit the exam later that week. The module is taken by both Commerce and B&L students at different times throughout the academic week. An identical exam paper was therefore given to both groups of students, to be taken during their respective class times. The

exam was intended to form 25 per cent of the overall grade for the subjects. B&L students were informed of the cancellation by the module co-ordinator, Professor Niamh Brennan, at the beginning of their Wednesday morning class during which the exam was to take place. The result of cancelling the exam means that the final grade for all students in Financial Accounting II will weigh upon their performance at the end of semester examinations. This incorporates students who had taken the exam on Tuesday 10th, because the School may not be allowed divide exam grades based on those that took the exam and those that did not. This is the second time this year that a module in the Quinn School has been under scrutiny following allegations of MCQ cheating. In March, an exam for the ten-credit core Strategy Formula-

tion & Implementation module was affected when students took copies of the questions given and shared them with classmates taking the MCQ at later dates. Following significant student unrest, it was decided to allow the results of the exam to stand on that occasion. According to the Principles of Good Practice in Continuous Assessment, as approved by UCD’s Academic Council on the 23rd April 2009, “No significant changes in the nature or timing of continuous assessments should occur once the semester has started, except in exceptional circumstances, in which case the changes should be signed off by the Programme Dean.” As this guideline is merely a principle, however, Prof. Brennan upholds the right to change the assessment details communicated to her students at the beginning of semester. Students’ Union Education Officer,

Donnacha Ó Súilleabháin, has disagreed with the move to expunge the MCQ results from the module’s assessment, saying he felt “that Professor Brennan has taken the wrong course of action in this case; I would have hoped that some sort of contingency would be in place to deal with the possibility of ‘cheating’ in the course’s continuous assessment components. Ó Súilleabháin added that he hoped “the Quinn School learns from this exercise, and reviews their in-house examination practices so as not to unfairly disadvantage students in this manner again. It’s important that students have confidence in the examinations process.” The University Observer contacted Prof. Brennan on the matter but had not received a response aat the time of going to print. In a speech given to her Continued on P3 >>

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

24.11.09

NEWS CONTINUED FROM P1

Only one third of reg fee for student services Gary Redmond called the arrangement “unacceptable”, saying “students are paying more in their Registration Fee each year, but seeing less of a return. Important student services such as the Student Advisers, the Library, and the Careers Office are suffering badly under current cutbacks. The fact that a student’s increased Reg Fee does nothing to help this is a slap in their face.” The committee has contacted the Minister for Education and Science, Batt O’Keeffe TD, requesting an urgent response on the issue before the next budget. Fine Gael TD Brian Hayes said that the figures revealed the “covert reintroduction of third-level tuition fees”, and that the registration fee – formally entitled the ‘Student Services Levy’ – is not being used for its original purpose. Hayes said that he had written to the Controller and Auditor General asking for an immediate investigation of how registration fees were spent throughout Ireland’s higher education institutes. Committee chairman and Green Party education spokesman, Paul Gogarty TD, rejected Hayes’s claim, saying that while there was a lack of clarity as to how registration fees were assessed in colleges, it did not mean that fees were being introduced covertly. A Trinity College statement stated that the student charge covered around 80 to 85 per cent of the costs of student services, with the balance being met by the college. They also said that the university has fully complied with the requirements set out by the Department of Education and Science’s circular since the charge was introduced in 1996.

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€4,500 raised for charity during SVP Homeless Week COLIN SWEETMAN The UCD branch of St Vincent de Paul (UCDSVP) raised over €4,500 during their Homeless Week, which took place two weeks ago. Student volunteers for UCDSVP slept outside the James Joyce Library during the week, and also collected money at a stand they have constructed there. This is the second year that such an event has taken place in UCD; the UCDSVP report to have raised an estimated €6,500 at the same event in 2008. Although this year’s figures appears to be down on the previous, the number of volunteers involved in this year’s benefit has increased. The total number of people taking part in the sleep-out on the Monday night was up from 14 last year to 25. The final event of the week, the Big Sleep Out held on Thursday 12th November, saw the society invite all members of the student body to join the sleepout, in a bid to raise awareness of homelessness. The majority of funds were raised from small cash donations made by passing students, but most UCDSVP members who slept outdoors during the entire week also received donations from friends, family and other sponsors for their efforts of the fundraiser. The society also held a raffle in conjunction with the UCD Musical Society during their production of The Wedding Singer. Funds were also raised from the sale of disused clothes at a swapshop in partnership with the UCD Young Greens. In addition, the UCD Vegetarian Society held a cake sale on Tuesday, in conjunction with the Greens, which raised €250. Other societies also helped in raising funds. UCD Film Society held a screening for the volunteers on the Wednesday night, and Belfield FM devoted some of its airtime to covering the sleep-out.

you’re going to be wet and damp for the UCDSVP Society auditor, Kevin Connight and very uncomfortable with the lon, said that the event “was comfortable chances of getting sick out of it isn’t a but realistically speaking, it wasn’t true homelessness by a long shot. The fact that you had no home to go to for the week and knowing that was the cusp of coming close to homelessness. “What was different from last year was the rain. 1) Oakmount Crèche is expandI suppose ing on campus and has places knowing that

Welfare quiz double booked BRIDGET FITZSIMONS A quiz scheduled to run during UCD Students’ Union’s Welfare Week on Wednesday 11th November ran into problems after it emerged that the Student Bar was double booked for the event. Another table quiz, in aid of the UCD Suas Society was scheduled to take place at the same time in the same venue. Students’ Union Welfare Officer, Scott Ahearn, attributed the mistake to a “human error”, which resulted in confusion over which event was due to take place on the night in question. Ahern explained that when he “booked the bar initially, it [the reservation] wasn’t put in the books,” but that “when we went to check it again, we asked if there was a table quiz on the books, and we were told that there was… They didn’t realise that it was the Society.” Once the mistake had been realised, the two bodies agreed to hold a joint quiz with a Father Ted theme, as had originally been scheduled for the Suas event. Ahearn now plans to use the questions he had prepared for his ‘Are You Smarter Than a Ten Year

Old’ quiz for a similar event intended to be held on Blue Day, a men’s health event taking place during Women’s Week in the third week of semester two. The proceeds of the Father Ted quiz were split evenly between Suas and the HSE’s Mental Health office.

pleasant way of spending a night – not to mention the gardening that was going on in the mornings!”

SU Welfare Update

available from January 2010. Afterschool places are available immediately. Why not organise a centre tour where you can see first hand the nursery that parents describe as a "home from home"? Contact Jennifer on (01) 269 5143 or email oakmountcreche@eircom.net.

2) SVP Emergency Fund: Clinic is based in Room G005 Newman Building on Tuesdays from 11am to 1pm. You can apply for a fund of up to €150 that can help you in your hour of need. For more information please email welfare@ucdsu.ie.

Best of luck during your exams! Remember, the SU Welfare Officer, Scott, is always there to help if you encounter any difficulties. Email welfare@ucdsu.ie or call (01) 716 3112 to get in touch.

24.11.09

NEWS

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Thief apprehended using CCTV footage BRIDGET FITZSIMONS

ardaí have apprehended a man who stole a student’s laptop from the Colours Gym in UCD’s Newstead Building. The theft took place on 14th October and was captured by the gym’s CCTV system, and the footage was used to identify the culprit. According to Student Centre employee Charlie Solan, who studied the footage, the thief had approached a member of the UCD Boxing Club expressing interest in taking up the sport. He then accompanied the Boxing Club member to the Colours Gym, where he noticed a laptop bag lying unattended. Solan explained that “there’s a very short hallway where people leave their bags… There was only one bag left along the hallway, and it was a laptop bag, [so] the Boxing Club member walked in, and the guy [spotted] the bag on the way”. Having seen the laptop bag unattended, the perpetrator “hung around and came back about ten minutes later with his own bag with him,” according to Solan. The thief then walked into the hallway, “dropped his bag in front of the laptop bag, walked into the main area where everyone was training, looked

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

around, and walked back out again taking both items with him.” Having stolen the laptop, the thief later returned the empty bag to where he had found it. Solan was first made aware of the incident after the student owner of the laptop had reported its theft to him. Solan studied CCTV footage from the area and found the incident on tape, before contacting the manager of UCD Crunch Fitness who “went through his own CCTV footage and informed me that they had seen the individual in question on the CCTV.” The Crunch management had “checked the membership and found that he wasn’t a member of the club, but that he had been signed in by another member of the club.” This information was then passed onto the Gardaí, who according to Solan, arrested the perpetrator earlier this month. It is unusual for stolen electronic items within UCD to be recovered and it is hoped that the recovery of the laptop might encourage students and Gardaí alike to pursue the recovery of such devices more vigorously in the future. Solan said that he hoped the

incident would make people on campus more aware of the safety of their personal belongings, commenting that “it’s now just a case of making sure people are careful of where they leave their stuff.”

CONTINUED FROM P1

UCD hands student records to media concerned with the apparent ease with which The University Observer were able to gain access to students academic transcripts. UCD Students’ Union encourages all students to take appropriate measures to ensure the protection of their personal details; however, the university should review its internal policies to ensure that all procedures were followed in this

instance, and if necessary introduce mechanisms to ensure that a breach of this nature does not occur in the future.” The university’s spokesperson declined to comment on whether data protection procedures within UCD Registry were inadequate or if they would be reviewed in light of The University Observer’s findings.

CONTINUED FROM P1

MCQ cancelled due to cheating class, Prof. Brennan commented that Ireland’s “cute hoorism” was to blame for the apparent cheating. No disciplinary action has yet been taken against the accused students. A

decision on whether the 25 per cent exam will still be considered when calculating final grades for the module has been referred to the Registrar, Dr Philip Nolan.

Foy resignation still unofficial MATTHEW JONES UCD Students’ Union Postgraduate Officer, Kimberley Foy, has yet to formally resign from her position, despite having indicated her intention to do so at an SU Council meeting two weeks ago. In order to formally resign, Foy is constitutionally required to contact the SU’s Chief Returning Officer, Paddy O’Flynn, and inform him of her resignation. In a statement released by the SU, the five sabbatical officers said that “the sabbatical team has not received notification of the resignation of the Postgraduate Officer,” but acknowledged that she “may be in the process of resigning.” They added that when Foy does formally resign, “the Returning Office will advise the sabbatical team on what measures need to be taken to address the would-be vacant position.” In the interim, there is no SU officer designated to deal with postgraduate issues, including the new measures surrounding the fees charged to postgraduate students, and the impact on postgraduate students of today’s strike by a number of trade unions. Foy made known her intention to resign at the Council meeting on the 9th November, after a vote of no confidence in her – which she described as a “drastic step” – was withdrawn. The motion was withdrawn after the Union’s Campaigns & Communications Officer, Paddy Ryan, removed his name from those seconding the motion. Foy was angered by the motion and decided to resign her post. Speaking to The University Observer, Foy said she felt that

the sabbatical officers, who collectively proposed the motion, “were ruining someone’s reputation. They don’t understand that.” The motion was originally to be put before the previous Council meeting on the 27th October, but was subsequently deferred after Foy revealed that she had

been in communication with Ryan over the performance of her duties, contrary to previous beliefs. Foy reported asking Ryan to keep her informed of how and when she could apply to run for election for the postgraduate seat on the UCD Governing Authority, as she is required to under the terms of the SU’s constitution, and claimed to have sent him numerous e-mails to this effect. Foy went on to say that she had received no contact from Ryan on this matter. Ryan countered that he “never received any e-mails from Kim”, and that he had not promised to keep Foy informed of the details of the election to Governing Authority. Despite this, he withdrew his support for the motion, stating that he was “particularly busy” at the time and may not have remembered all the details from his meetings with Foy.

Capacity of 8,000 for 2010 UCD Ball BRIDGET FITZSIMONS UCD Students’ Union have secured permission from the university to almost double the capacity of the annual end-ofyear UCD Ball. The event, which had a capacity of just under 5,000 last year, has been given the go-ahead to apply for a licence for up to 8,000 people and is earmarked to take place on Friday 23rd April 2010. This will make the UCD Ball the biggest event of its kind in Ireland, surpassing the capacity of the rival Trinity Ball by 500. In line with the growth of the event, the Ball will also move across campus from its traditional home outside the Student Centre to the football pitches adjacent to the Quinn School of Business. SU President Gary Redmond has

expressed his satisfaction at the development, stating that “the Students’ Union are intent on putting on an event that any student who wants to attend can attend”, and explained that “since the Students’ Union don’t own any land in the university, we had to ask the university for use of [its] land.” The SU accordingly presented a draft event management plan to the university, which was approved last week. The draft plan proposes that acts perform across two stages, with the main stage facing the Merville GAA pitches and a secondary dance stage mounted on the hill in front of the Roebuck residences. Redmond stressed that both stages will be directed towards the N11 so as to minimise noise pollution and other impacts on the university’s neighbours. A spokesperson for the university stat-

ed that the presentation was “an impressive and comprehensive plan for the UCD Ball, which clearly laid out the logistics for a successful event of this scale.” The spokesperson further explained that “we would see that good planning and event management would keep any possible inconveniences to a minimum.” Planning permission will now be sought for the event, as is legally required for events with a capacity of 5,000 or greater. Redmond has revealed that the application to Dún Laoghaire-Rathdown County Council, as UCD’s local authority, is due to be lodged on 16th December. There are no indications as to what acts might perform at the event. Last year’s UCD Ball sold out in just over four hours, and featured acts included Bookashade, Japanese Popstars, and Iglu & Hartly.

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24.11.09

NEWS

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University opened Former UCD SU President nominated despite union strike to Seanad vacancy

QUINTON O’REILLY

CD was expected to open all buildings and services on campus today, Tuesday 24th November, despite a day of industrial strike action taking place nationwide. The strike was supported by a significant proportion of staff members. However, the university plans to proceed as normal, despite the staff shortage that may arise over the course of the day. Unions participating in the strike include SIPTU, the Irish Federation of University Teachers (IFUT) and the Technical, Engineering and Electrical Union (TEEU). UCD Registrar, Dr Philip Nolan, sent an email to all staff and students on 20th November stating that the university would open in spite of the strikes, and would try to maintain services as close as possible to their everyday standard. He explained that the university’s decision was taken as the strike date is extremely close to assessments, deadlines and end-ofsemester exams. UCD Sociology lecturer and head of SIPTU’s educational sector, Dr Kieran Allen, said that as far as the trade unions were concerned, the university would be closed on the day of action. “The registrar can issue any emails he wants, as far as we’re concerned,” stated Dr Allen. “The staff are not working, there’s a strike, our pay is being cut, and the university will not be

ALEX COURT

opened.” When asked whether students would be allowed to pass the picket line, Dr Allen revealed that striking workers would urge students and non-union members to support their cause by not crossing picket lines outside the campus. Officials from SIPTU had also complained to the university about management pressurising members into telling them in advance whether they support the strike or not. Dr Allen explained the complaint by saying “the fact of the matter is that we have given, as is required, seven days notice to strike action. The normal procedure is that the union issues strike notice. That has been done and as far as we’re concerned, we’re on strike.” Students’ Union President, Gary Redmond, said that while the

university respected the decision made by each of the staff unions, the university had planned to maintain the usual standards of services for students. “Obviously, there will be a certain amount of staff taking an involvement in the strikes [but] we don’t know what level that will be,” explained Redmond. “But the university has guaranteed us that they’ll try and maintain as close to possible [the] current level of service.” The day of action forms part of a national campaign organised by the various trade unions. The unions are protesting against further public sector wage cuts planned by the government of up to seven per cent. Unconfirmed reports suggest that a second day of strike action will be held in forthcoming weeks.

Construction begins on Student Centre BRIDGET FITZSIMONS

sion of the current Student Centre building as “a very ambitious programme,” but feels that the construction company appointed have the “capacity and the scale to do it.” 160 articulated lorries worth of topsoil are to be removed from the site, while a crane will be set up on the site before Christmas. O’Keeffe has described Valentine’s Day as “a milestone date” for the project, hoping that the tank for the Centre’s 50m pool will be completed by that date. While O’Keeffe concedes that the beginning of construction has been “a long time coming,” he

remains adamant that the project has proceeded as fast as it could have, citing delays due to planning restrictions which mean that “planning alone is a minimum period of four months.” O’Keeffe has also revealed that the university’s two debating societies, LawSoc and the L&H, are due to meet in the coming weeks to agree a name for the new debating chamber. O’Keeffe feels that the usage of names for these facilities is important “to give a sense of direction,” and cited the success of the Astra Hall as an example of this.

Construction work has begun on the new UCD Student Centre extension. The facility, which has been in planning since late 2005, is projected to be finished and ready for student use by September 2011. UCD Students’ Union President, Gary Redmond, told The University Observer that “after a long time, a legal challenge and numerous months of negotiations, we’re delighted that the contactors are on site now.” Student Centre manager, Dominic O’Keeffe, echoed Redmond’s sentiments, stating that the centre planning has moved into a “new phase”. Contractors PJ Wall, who recently completed construction work on The O2 and oversaw the construction the UCD Veterinary Science building, have been appointed to carry out the physical construction of the centre. The project manager for the new Student Centre development, Adrian Corcoran, fulfilled a similar role for the Veterinary Science construction project. Adrian Corcoran outlines the plans to Dominic O’Keeffe and Gary O’Keeffe has described Redmond at the site of the new student centre. Photo: Paul Merrigan the development and exten-

Former President of UCD Students’ Union, James Carroll, has been nominated to fill a vacant seat in Seanad Éireann. The seat became vacant following the death of Senator Tony Kett earlier this year. Carroll was offered the seat by an Taoiseach, Brian Cowen, in his capacity as leader of Fianna Fáil, before being approved by a vote of the parliamentary party. The by-election will take place in December of this year. Carroll currently works in Leinster House as a full-time parliamentary assistant to Margaret Conlon, a TD for CavanMonaghan. He was also elected to Louth County Council during the summer. Carroll told The University Observer that he was “very honoured and humbled to receive the nomination”. He went on to say that he thought himself well suited to the job, and that he would “hit the ground running if I am lucky enough to be elected for the Seanad it’s not going to take me six or nine months to get to know my way around.” Unlike traditional Seanad elections, in which members of the country’s local and county councils are entitled to vote, voting in by-elections is only extended to TDs and existing Senators. Carroll’s election is likely to

proceed unchallenged, as the Government hold majorities in both houses of the Oireachtas. However, Carroll has pledged to personally ask all 166 parliamentary officials for their vote. If elected Carroll will have to forego his current position as a member of Louth County Council. Asked what priorities he would pursue if elected, Carroll was quick to refer to the Ireland’s unemployed, saying “the biggest thing is getting people back to work and in employment.” He went on to describe economic stimulus packages as a “vital ingredient” of economic recovery, saying “I don’t think they are the

sole [solution], but I think they are absolutely a vital part of it.” Carroll (26) served as UCDSU President in 2005-06, following a successful stint as Education Officer the previous year. He was also chairman of the Kevin Barry Cumann, the UCD branch of the Fianna Fáil party. The Law graduate referred to UCD as “the best experience of my life”, continuing that “it’s not solely what you learn in the classroom; you learn life lessons in UCD to deal with people, people with different opinions, different views, and try and tie them all together so you can push forward for the greater good.”

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5 NEWS

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UCC closed for a week after flooding Students protest across Germany KATE ROTHWELL Almost 100,000 students took to the streets of over 40 German cities last week protesting a number of ongoing reforms of third-level education in the Federal Republic. Student protest related primarily to the introduction of a combination BachelorMasters study programme, as well as the introduction tuition fees, and access to graduate programmes. The largest protests took place in Hamburg, where ten thousand took part, and in Cologne where a further three thousand demonstrators took to the streets. The higher education system in Germany has undergone massive reforms following the Bologna Accords, an EU agreement which strives to standardise higher education throughout Europe. Among the agreement’s aims are to make higher education “more compatible and comparable, more competitive and more attractive for Europeans and for students and scholars from other continents.” Many students have complained that

condensing longer study programmes, which in Germany traditionally span seven or eight semesters, to a standardised duration of three years has increased the academic workload and pressure on students. They have complained of intensified timetables, and some fear that the combination programme might lead to the devaluation of the newly reformed Bachelor’s degree in the eyes of employers when compared to previous qualifications. Protestors also feel that the new combined system may make it more difficult for students to spend a semester abroad. German students already experience difficulty in this regard as the German university calendar does not perfectly align with those of other EU member states. The third-level protestors were joined by secondary school pupils, who attended in protest at what they referred to as the “economising of education”, citing a vast increase in average class sizes. Another protest was scheduled to take place today (Tuesday) in Leipzig, timed to coincide with a meeting of national university executives.

COLIN SWEETMAN & GAVAN REILLY

niversity College Cork has postponed all lectures due to take place this week after extensive flooding of the university’s grounds. The flooding occurred as a result of heavy rain last week, which caused the River Lee to burst its banks. UCC Students’ Union Deputy President, Ian Power, told The University Observer that “significant damage” had been incurred to the student accommodation complexes, which were expected to be uninhabitable for at least two to four weeks due to problems with electrical supply damage and water damage. Power also revealed that there has been “serious flood damage” to fourteen of the teaching and research facilities including a brand new €100m information technology building, and an extension

to the Tyndall photonics, electronics and networking research institute. “Our sports arena, swimming pool and indoor sports hall were all under five feet of water,” he continued, saying that the repair bill for damage in UCC was expected to run into millions of euro. Students living in the Castlewhite apartments had to be evacuated, with Power estimating that up to 2,000 students were affected by the floods. In an attempt to temporarily house the students, UCC Students’ Union has urged local hotels, hostels and guesthouse owners to accommodate the students until the floodwaters subside, as at least 300 students are presumed effectively homeless. Normal operation of the university is not expected to resume until Monday 30th November at the earliest, with all assessment deadlines this week having been pushed back seven days. UCC have extended the current term by one week to account for the disruption to teaching

as a result of the flooding. Power reported that the college had lost about a quarter of its lecture theatre capacity, but added that the UCC management were confident of being able to restore the regular timetable within a week. The UCC campus is situated before the split in the River Lee, therefore rising water levels have consequences on either side of the campus. The river eventually broke through the quay wall at Grenville Place, causing the ground floor of the Mercy University Hospital to flood. Patients and staff were also evacuated following this water breach. Locals have blamed the ESB for the surging water levels in the Lee. They say the company released a massive volume of water into the river at the Iniscarra dam approximately eight miles from the city in an attempt to prevent contamination of the city’s water supplies. This discharge gave the river enough power to burst its banks further downstream.

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24.11.09

ANALYSIS

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It’s all about the details… After multiple breaches of confidentiality, why are UCD not taking the protection of student details seriously? Michelle McCormick examines the lack of data protection in UCD and asks why it’s such a low priority for the powers that be

“UCD is firmly committed to ensuring personal privacy and compliance with the Data Protection legislation, including the provision of best practice guidelines and procedures in relation to all aspects of Data Protection.” Or so says the UCD data protection policy. But with yet another data protection blunder hitting the headlines, exactly how seriously can we take this “commitment to privacy”? How many more times must sensitive and confidential student data be made available to all and sundry before the university realises that its processes are vulnerable and half-hearted? In the past number of years, information such as phone numbers, addresses, student numbers, exam results – and now even degree transcripts – have been made public, either accidentally or by unthinking administrative staff. It would be easy to say that the powers that be have little respect for the privacy of students or the importance of keeping their personal details personal, but the presence of an extensive data protection document would seem to suggest otherwise. There are measures in place to prevent the sort of information leakages we’ve seen time and time again in UCD – measures, it seems, that are not working. Is it the case that the processes aren’t stringent enough, or are staff just not adhering to the rules? Why, when simply gaining access to the library has become an almost military procedure, can we not

get to grips with keeping highly sensitive information private? Whatever the problem, the more pressing issue is the lax attitude to such breaches. In each case, staff in the relevant schools or departments were oblivious to the dangers of revealing personal information publicly, or did not take enough precautions to prevent leaks. Not only are the staff at ground level not taking the issue seriously, but the powers that be are also

less than concerned at the continuous slip-ups. Both the Students’ Union and the University have placed responsibility for data protection at the feet of students. According to SU President Gary Redmond, students should “take appropriate measures to ensure the protection of their personal details”. A spokesperson for UCD said that due to the increase in online social media, there’s an increased

risk of impersonation and identity theft, and so students need to be more protective of sensitive details. “Remain extra vigilant about publishing any personal information in publicly accessible online media which may be added to information obtained from other sources to create an impersonation,” was the UCD line on handing over transcripts to a stranger without questions. This advice is almost laughable given the

nature of slip-ups in the past – a list of names and student numbers was posted on a notice board in an Arts Block corridor just two years ago. A comprehensive list of student names, addresses student numbers and phone numbers posted in a public area of Blackboard. What use is extra vigilance on social networking when the university is not equally vigilant about protecting our details? Redmond acknowledges that something needs to be done. “The university should review its internal policies to ensure that all procedures were followed in this instance, and if necessary introduce mechanisms to ensure that a breach of this nature does not occur in future,” he said. But the president does not go far enough. If a situation where student transcripts can be ordered, paid for, and collected by anyone other than the student who owns them is part of the “procedure”, then something is seriously amiss with the level and extent of data protection in UCD. Even when prompted, the staff member in question did not deem it necessary to get any proof of ID from the person collecting the transcript. Why is this acceptable? Why is the university passing the buck, telling students that they should be “more vigilant” with their personal details? It’s clear that until the university starts taking student privacy seriously, our personal information is subject to the whims of its staff.

On a fast track to nowhere With tensions running high in UCD Students’ Union after Kimberley Foy’s resignation and allegations made against Paddy Ryan, Bridget Fitzsimons asks why the SU is not attempting better relations

News Editor

t has been difficult to ignore the recent fractions within the Students’ Union. The Union’s Postgraduate Officer, Kimberley Foy, has felt the need to step down from her role, after a motion of no confidence in her was raised by her SU sabbatical colleagues at Union Council. Issues arose when Foy failed to seek election to the postgraduate seat on Governing Authority, as she is mandated to do by the SU constitution. However, citing a heavy workload between her academic programme, her UCDSU position and her job as Environmental Officer with the Union of Students in Ireland, Foy maintains that she had asked the SU Campaigns & Communications Officer, Paddy Ryan, to keep her informed on the matter, a matter Ryan concedes he may have forgotten. Questions have also been asked of Ryan’s ability to carry out his duties. In advance of a recent protest at Wicklow County Council, class reps reported only being made aware of the event, and being asked to attend, late the previous evening. It has also been reported, though since denied, that Executive Officers have met to discuss asking Ryan for his resignation. With this level of infighting and problems within the SU, shouldn’t students ask for a better and more cohesive service? UCDSU has seen great progress this year, with more class reps than ever and the defeat for now of third-level fees. However it seems as if, at ground level, basic student needs are not being met, especially from a campaigning point of view. Surely for a protest to be successful, the vast majority of class reps must attend, as well as encouraging other students to accompany them. When a Campaigns & Communications Officer

decides that sixteen hours’ notice is enough for a student to drop everything and attend a protest that has been planned for days, something is very wrong. Students must question whether those they elected are, in fact, doing the jobs they are mandated to do. When organisation of protests is so obviously haphazard and sloppy so far into the sabbatical officers’ terms, something has to change, either in work performance or in the people filling the roles. Similarly, it seems as if communication has broken down within the SU itself. Foy’s case only serves to highlight this. Her work within the SU, her role in USI, and her postgraduate programme undoubtedly made for a busy schedule, and it cannot be said that she was wrong in asking Ryan, whose position is his full-time job, to help her. Foy expressed shock at the fact that no one had spoken to her prior to the motion and it is not hard to see why. In a mature and official society, officers and colleagues speak to one another and raise problems and issues in a calm manner. It is not too much for students to expect their representatives to work with each other in a professional manner, so as to ensure the SU provides the best representation and service for its members. Communication and help must be available to all officers within the SU, especially from the sabbatical officers whose job it is to serve students, and to further the Union and its causes. Witch-hunting and bullying cannot be condoned, but if an officer is not doing their job, it is in the best interest of the students for them to be removed. Students must be vigilant to make sure that their SU does not allow inept people to remain in office simply due to camaraderie on the Union corridor. The

Students’ Union is not, and should not be, somewhere for overgrown students to wait out their UCD tenure and avoid graduation. It is a place where students can go for representation and help; for people who want to affect change. It is our Union; we pay the wages of these sabbati-

cal officers, and we are completely within our rights to stand up and demand a high standard of support and representation. We cannot allow infighting and petty politics to stand in the way of the work a students’ union is supposed to do.

24.11.09

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

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Better late than never? The decision to posthumously release Vladimir Nabokov’s final novel against his wishes is extremely debatable from an ethical standpoint, writes Paul Fennessy

s it ever justifiable to disobey someone’s dying wish? Yes, according to Dmitri Nabokov –son of the novelist Vladimir – who recently decreed that the late author’s unfinished novel was to be finally published, almost 33 years after his death. The project, entitled The Original of Laura, was more or less disowned by Nabokov just prior to his passing. He ordered his son to burn all of the novel’s 138 index cards, a format which he habitually adopted to write his books, thus ostensibly ensuring that it would never join the likes of Lolita, Pale Fire and Pnin among his eminent literary oeuvre. Yet his son and late wife both failed to undertake this task, instead opting to conceal it for decades in a Swiss bank vault, due to the rather obvious dilemma which confronted them. However, after much persuasion from Ron Rosenbaum of The New York Times – one of Nabokov’s foremost admirers – Dmitri has finally decided to act definitively and release the text. Was Dmitri’s decision ethical? There is no simple response to this pertinent question. Regardless, the virtues of his acquiescing with the decision are manifest. Had Max Brod adhered to Franz Kafka’s request and burned all of his writings, the author would have remained largely unheard of to this day. The literary landscape would in turn be significantly poorer without Kafka’s foreboding literature. But it would be unfair to equate this recent scenario with the conundrum which Kafka’s writings encountered. Firstly, it remains highly doubtful whether

The Original of Laura will have anything resembling the impact of Nabokov’s most esteemed novels. Judging by his behaviour, the author himself did not think much of his final work. On the other hand, a few scholars have hailed it as a prototypically Nabokovian work and a masterpiece, while Dmitri has described it as “brilliant” and “potentially radical”. But given that his later novels are largely adjudged inferior to his best works, it seems unlikely to be a novel comparable to the genius of Lolita or Pale Fire. Critics have complained that the great author’s reputation will be tarnished by what essentially amounts to the airing of his dirty laundry in public, especially if the novel reads insipidly. Generally though, observing a great artist fail is, in its own way, just as compelling as experiencing one of their masterworks. This is one of the primary reasons why The Original of Laura was rightfully published, notwithstanding its quality. Yet it is also impossible to ignore the thorny issues surrounding Nabokov’s original forbiddance of the novel’s publication. The decision to the contrary was considered immoral in some quarters, but proceeding with the burning would undoubtedly be received with equal enmity from others. The question of ownership, and the extent to which the general public is en-

titled to an artwork, are seemingly the key factors in the argument. Surely Nabokov should not have been allowed to deny his

their posthumous works far outweighing concerns about their own private wishes. There is undoubtedly an element of cynicism surrounding this wanton neglect of the writer’s privacy when an opportunity for profit

readership countless hours of potential pleasure and intrigue. Conversely, people are not necessarily deserving of a divine right to gain access to thoughts which the author ostensibly intended to keep private. Indeed, the Nabokov situation is hardly unique. Others including Kurt Cobain and David Foster Wallace have been treated similarly, with public demand for

arises. In Cobain’s case, the singer’s personal diaries were published with little hesitation following his death, and his suicide note became available on innumerable t-shirts and websites. It cannot be denied that this sense of the publishing industry, among others, capitalising on a person’s death is

unsavoury in the extreme. Nonetheless, in Nabokov’s case, it is ultimately justifiable. Unlike Cobain and his diaries, the author could not have reasonably assumed that there would be little interest in his final novel. Surely he recognised the difficult position he was putting his son in by imploring him to dispose of its contents. Therefore, there are ample reasons why The Original of Laura’s publication is infinitely acceptable. Nabokov undoubtedly wanted the novel to be read on some level; otherwise, he would not have bothered writing it in the first place. His efforts to discard the work were perhaps owing to his inability to adequately recapture past glories and to attain his customary level of perfection. But as already stated, this reason alone is not enough to warrant its destruction. Furthermore, Nabokov’s attempt to sabotage his own output was overtly half-hearted. If he truly desired for this action to transpire, he would have administered it personally. As Edmund White, the author of A Boy’s Own Story among other acclaimed works, asserted in the Times last year: “If a writer really wants something destroyed, he burns it.”

Vladimir Nabokov’s final novel The Original of Laura was published last week.

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

24.11.09

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Take a chill pill: students and stress Amy Wall investigates the problem of stress in a college environment and argues the responsibility of a university to counter it

hat is the one thing that thwarts the student body most at exam time? Studying? Demotivation? Re-runs of Friends that you just can’t tear yourself away from? Many would argue that it is, in fact, our high levels of the mysterious chromosome known as procrastination. Yes, at exam time, procrastination can be deadly. However there is another thing that can stop us dead in our tracks in the run up to exams – something that can’t be cured by simply allowing your brain an hour or two in front of the telly before the “real” studying begins. That thing is stress. Stress is one of the most underestimated forms of illness. When stress gets in on you, everything becomes a panic. You can’t concentrate. Your mind begins to race. You have a constant headache. You lose sleep, you lose weight, you lose control of your emotions – and these are just a handful of the most common symptoms. It also has the ability to completely dehabilitate you, something extremely dangerous when gearing up for important exams. It can be argued that some stress can be a good thing. Maybe you’re one of those people who works better under a little bit of pressure – you might find that you can focus and just get things done when the heat is on. However, continuous medical research has found that if you are constantly operating under stress, it can wreak havoc with not only your physical wellbeing, but also your mental wellbeing. Contrary popular belief, us students tend to lead an incredibly stressful life. We have to worry about assignments, essays, exams and sure such worries are part and parcel of being a student. What people don’t realise is that we also have

“Stress has become such a problem in Ireland that St John of God Hospital in Stillorgan now has its own Stress Clinic”

another layer of pressure put on us. We have to worry about money – about college expenses, about rent, about bills. We worry about the outcome of our exams – what kind of marks we’ll get. Hell, most of us nearing the end of our college career are really starting to worry about what our employment prospects will be like at the end of it all. Many of us are living away from home, which adds a level of isolation to us and our worries, making them seem a lot worse than they are. It is estimated that over half of Ireland’s population has suffered from some kind of stress-related illness throughout the course of their life. Stress has become such a problem in Ireland that St John of God Hospital in Stillorgan now has its own Stress Clinic dealing with people suffering from this horrible illness. The worst thing about stress is that it is insidious in its attack. It may start off simple, with general symptoms such as moodiness, worry, memory problems and feeling a bit overwhelmed. Everyone knows that during exam time, worrying becomes second nature. It is at this point, when you are really agonising about an exam that the ugly side of stress begins to manifest with less than desirable physical symptoms: aches and pains, nausea, dizziness, chest pain, diarrhoea, isolation, depression… need I go on? With stress being such a common issue among students, it has to be questioned: just what can a university do to try and ease stress for students? In fact, occasionally it seems like UCD adds stress to students on purpose. How many times have you had mountains of reading to do for a class, and on top of that an essay and maybe a class exam later on in the week? There is only so much you can get through without exhibiting at least some signs of stress. “It really is ridiculous, especially this year,” said one final year student I asked. “I know college requires a lot of work, but there is just so much that I can do. Sometimes I find myself ditching class in favour of trying to get an essay done for another module, or catch up on some reading. They need to realise that we’re not robots.” Indeed, it does seem that at times, lecturers can forget that we are in fact only human. So what would help ease our stress levels? When asked, the majority of students stated that they would like to have our revision week be just that – a week for revision. Many complained that more times than not, their revision week was eaten up by essay deadlines being set during that precious study time. It would be an interesting experiment to compare our stress levels in UCD’s continuous assessment, semesterised set-up with those of students in the more traditional summer exam schemes. Were UCD students less stressed six years ago than we are today? Or were they more stressed over a shorter period? With exams looming on the horizon, stress is something students should be aware of, and UCD should be taking this into consideration and providing help before it really becomes an issue.

Head to Head

As we reach that festive time of year, Amy Wa season and whether Christ

YES

Why, asks David Osborn, should we only encourage generosity and giving at one time of the year and not every day of our lives?

believe that Christmas is a shambolic celebration that should be scrapped – and here’s why. Firstly, the very premise – the birth of Jesus – is flawed. As best as we can tell, Jesus (if he existed) was born in summer, not winter. The reason his birth was moved to December was to Christianise an ancient and very well established pagan celebration, the winter solstice. What this means is that if you want to celebrate the birth of Christ, you’re doing it six months too late – or six months too early, depending on which way you look at it. If celebrating the birth of Christ has meaning, isn’t it meaningless to do it at the wrong time? Of course most of us don’t celebrate Christmas to celebrate Jesus’ birth. Modern Christmas is about love, kindness, family, and getting (or rather, giving) presents. So why should that end, you rightly ask? To me, the idea that there should be

reported that we would spend €1,300 per household on Christmas that year. If Christmas was really about love and caring, we would be giving this money to those who need it, like those in the third world, instead of to multi-nationals. That would be an expense with real meaning. Thirdly, Christmas excludes very large sections of both the world and our own society. It has only been celebrated in the west for around 100 years, and is not celebrated elsewhere. Despite the fact that it is a de facto secular holiday, it nonetheless has religious roots, which means that people from other faiths cannot in good conscience celebrate it. It also excludes people who live alone and have no relatives nearby, being a very family-based holiday. I’m not suggesting we should abandon winter celebrations; far from it. We should revive the celebration of winter solstice. After all, isn’t the beginning of the end of winter and the start of the new

“When I see people being extra nice in December, I can only wonder why they can’t do that all the time” a certain time of year when you’re nicer and more loving than you normally are is anathema. If you are capable of being very kind at Christmas, you are capable of being so any time, and to cease being this kind just because a religious holiday – even when it’s held at the wrong time of year – ends shows a lack of thoughtfulness; a sheep-like reaction to an established norm. I don’t treat Christmas any differently from the summer – I am this dour all year round – and when I see people being extra nice in December, I can only wonder why they can’t do that all the time. Secondly, Christmas isn’t all about love and happiness; it has been hijacked by profiteers, who encourage indiscriminate spending on useless and meaningless junk like Garden Santas and fake snow. In 2006, the National Consumer Agency

harvest something to celebrate? That it is a naturally occurring holiday means all could celebrate it equally. We should take time off and feast and have festivals, just not under the phoney guise of either a fake religious date we don’t celebrate or mindless spending which encourages us to value junk over substance. Finally, we shouldn’t have a specific time of year when we are more empathetic to our fellow humans; we should always value time spent with our friends and family, we should always be as kind to strangers and acquaintances alike as we are during Christmas, and we should always keep in mind those people who are less fortunate. David Osborn is the founder and auditor of the UCD Humanist Society.

24.11.09

all and David Osborn debate the merits of the tmas should be abolished…

Amy Wall shares the joys of the season and reckons Christmas is a time to be shared by all, regardless of religion, race or creed

on’t you just love Christmas? The lights are sparkling on O’Connell Street, the festive buzz is practically universal, and everywhere seems to be dusted with a hint of magic. Christmas is generally considered the big one - the huge holiday that not only marks the end of the year, but also the birth of the saviour, in a shed of all places, but nonetheless… Christmas is a time of year that instills warmth and happiness. It is a time when we can take a break from our busy lifestyles, to just sit down and enjoy the moment. So aside from all those warm fuzzy images, what else makes Christmas so great? Santa. Whether you still believe in him or not, the magic of Mr Claus is awesome. While you have probably been roped into helping your parents with the annual 3am wrapping of gifts for your younger

and really, sincerely, enjoy it. Shouldn’t we enjoy time with our loved ones all year round? Sure, we should. All I’m saying is that at Christmas, your sense of goodwill and love really expands – so we tend to enjoy it a lot more. Many people argue that one of the negative aspects of Christmas is that instead of being focussed on peace and joy, the holidays have become a time of empty consumerism with greedy companies looking for profit. While this may be true, we can’t judge everyone based on this fact. On the contrary, many people go out and do something incredibly selfless at Christmas time. During the holiday, we realise just how lucky we are. This gratitude is something that many of us extend to other people. In fact, it is estimated that around 6,000 people will take part in this year’s Concern Christmas Fast, which will take place on 3rd December.

“This gratitude is something that many of us extend to other people” siblings at this stage, you have to admit, you still get just a little bit excited. Christmas is a time to bring out your inner child. It’s a time where you can let go of that tough twenty-something façade and remember how much fun you used to have on Christmas Eve - leaving out some Christmas cake, some Guinness and a carrot for ol’ Rudolph, and fighting back the powers of sleep just so you could try and catch a glimpse of the man himself. Truly magical. Christmas also highlights what is really important to us: our families and friends. On Christmas Day, we can really wind down and just spend quality time with each other – time that we don’t tend to appreciate during the rest of the year when there are constant demands and other pressures placed on us. Christmas Day is a day where we can forget about work or college, surround ourselves with our nearest and dearest

Christmas is a time for peace and joy. In more recent years, it seems that the distinctly overt religious tones have died down a bit. Instead the holiday has become more about showing those we love that we appreciate them, being kind to each other and including each other in our celebrations. Think of all those promising Christmas parties you have lined up once the dreaded semester one exams finish. Christmas is all about having fun, being merry, meeting some new friends as well as old and having a bit of much needed craic! No matter what religious or spiritual path you subscribe to, the main message of Christmas is love: simple, but effective. Now who is to say that we all can’t enjoy that message? Just make sure you remember it when you’re awoken by your younger siblings at 4am on Christmas morning.

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Recognising the world’s invisible children As Plan International works hard to register every child born in the developing world, Alex Court praises the campaign that should decrease the risk of child exploitation

have never seen my birth certificate, but I am lucky enough to be able to assume I have one. My newfound appreciation for this piece of paper, which can no doubt be sought somewhere online, has sprung from the report published last week called “Count Every Child”. This document is the culmination of a project launched by the charity Plan International in 2005, which has aimed to increase the proportion of children being registered at birth. It has spanned the poorest countries in the globe and has sought to reach the most isolated communities. It may not be immediately clear why a charity would spend so much of its resources on issuing a piece of paper to people who would surely be happier to be given food, shelter or medical care. Plan says registering these populations is a crucial first step to achieving these goals. Without proof of who their parents are, or what their nationality is, they are stateless. They are voiceless, invisible citizens without access to vital government services such as education, shelter or food. With approximately 51 million children each year being born but not registered, the problems resulting from being unregistered are made manifest around the globe in a number of ways. One group most seriously affected by the lack of a birth certificate are children orphaned by AIDS. Often, unregistered children aren’t entitled to inherit their dead parents’ house as they cannot prove who they are. Not only have they lost parental support, but they are considered squatters in their own homes, and sometimes evicted, forced to live on the streets. Another concern is sexual harassment. In Ireland, and most developed nations, if an adult has sex with a sixteen-year-old girl, that adult can be convicted of rape. Girls who don’t have a birth certificate cannot prove their age and convictions in such circumstances are difficult to achieve. This doesn’t dissuade the criminally-minded from committing sex crimes, but those who suffer are undoubtedly the children. Human trafficking is also easier to get away with in areas where inhabitants have never been registered. One country which proves this is the case is Nepal. Rough estimates say 200,000 Nepalese citizens have been trafficked to India, but authorities refuse to pursue these claims, being unable to prove whether the people they find are the Nepalese they were searching for. The actual methods employed to achieve this goal of registration are incredible in themselves. A clever tactic Plan

has wielded concerns legislation. In working with legal teams, the charity has pressured governments to make registration of children a legal requirement. New laws have made registering children an easier process, and these laws are complemented with rules ensuring the accrued data is stored properly. Plan’s head of global advocacy, Nadya Kassam, has said that “changing the law in a country has a really significant effect on the population. It is the only way to bring about sustainable long-term change.” Plan hasn’t shied away from remote areas or conflict zones. In such cases, mobile registration units go to the areas and hold registration clinics in public areas. This has happened in rural Burkina Faso, where parents are persuaded to register their children with the offer of a free bed net impregnated with insecticide to stop malaria. Ingeniously, personal health issues are dealt with as wider support networks are established. In the conflict area where Pakistan rubs alongside Afghanistan, Plan has brought the registration process out to the communities. In this region in particular, where transport networks are either damaged or nonexistent, Plan has had to convince isolated populations to engage in the registration process. The most worrying obstacle to the success of this programme is how people are supposed to keep hold of their records in times of conflict or natural disaster. People will evacuate their homes – abandoning any documentation registering their birth – to avoid being shot or swallowed up by a hurricane. Work needs to be done to make sure the records remain valid even if the physical evidence vanishes. One example of a solution is a test case in Tanzania, where documents are being scanned into computer databases. This aims for villages to have records even if their homes are wiped out. How successful this will be remains to be seen, but could be the blueprint for the next phase of the programme if it is successful. Even though the implementation scheme faces many challenges, Plan really needs to be supported in this program. The help that governments, NGOs and private organisations have been providing needs recognition and should continue. Citizens around the world need to be informed of the importance of Plan’s project and other similar ventures, and be empowered to act to inform others. The support networks we take for granted, and often mercilessly criticise, would be appreciated by the many that have nothing, and we must remember that.

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

24.11.09

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

FEATURES

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Challenging Times For better or worse, journalist Kevin Myers is undisputedly one of the most outspoken commentators in modern Irish media. Ever so slightly petrified, Leanne Waters sits down to talk to the UCD graduate

s I’m walking through the dimly lit café-bar, carrying two overpriced cups of coffee, it occurs to me that my left hand is shaking slightly and spilling hot liquid onto my fingertips; I’m nervous. Why this is so, I’m not entirely sure. After all, it appears that the anticipated fire-breathing creature I’m interviewing has retreated for the time being, and instead I’m sitting opposite a grey-haired man with a shrewd eye and somewhat cavalier smile. Kevin Myers is not what I expected. Contentious and controversial in his writings, the Irish Independent columnist remains one of the most talkedabout journalists in Ireland today. He sits now with a disarming level of composure and patience. Originally from Leicester in England, Myers turned his attentions to UCD in the late sixties after receiving, as he himself describes, “terrible A levels.” With three years of study under his belt, he graduated with a degree in History in 1969 before pursuing what was to become a tempestuous and widely criticised career in journalism. Apparently never one to shy from his past, Myers talks me through his years spent in UCD during the radical sixties. “People’s conduct changed greatly. Sex became a kind of normal thing. We assumed that sex was what people did – and we did. But that wasn’t the norm for most people, so it was an exciting time. The music was good. If you listen to the music of that time, it was post-Sergeant Pepper, the Beatles’ White Album. We had lots of fevered conversations through the night, talking until dawn. It’s very innocent and naïve in one sense. But we also smoked dope. It was hard to get, but we did smoke dope. “It was a political time in the way that students aren’t political anymore. We talked politics all the time. We talked bullshit the whole time, but we were trying our best to learn. What we did was, and I know this now: we learned from one another. We bounced ideas off one another, we got angry together, we agreed together and we disagreed. It was extraordinarily good, extraordinarily informative. And UCD was an exciting place in Dublin, which was a beautiful city.” At the beginning of the seventies, Myers moved to Belfast, a move that was to change the course of his life and career forever. A novice who “couldn’t write journalism”, he became aware of a vacancy for a reporter in RTÉ’s Belfast newsroom. Unexpectedly getting the job, Myers entered into Northern Ireland at the height of the Troubles. It was to become the most definitive period of his career and introduced the youthful 23-year-old into a world of failed politics and chaotic violence. The man across from me, now gradually starting to appear more and more aged, describes to me how Northern Ireland was, in many ways, exactly what he wanted it to be. “I was young and I was full of hormones and I wanted to see what violence was like – and I saw what violence was like. I saw a good number of killings. I wanted to see gun battles, and I got gun battles. I can’t tell you I found it all heart-wrenching… I found some of it heart-wrenching, but I found a lot of it very exciting. Anyone who’s been in a gun battle will tell you it’s very exciting – provided you survive.” Though taken aback by this statement, I’m intrigued by its honesty and feel compelled to delve further into the discussion. What I get is an equivocal

intermingling of diplomacy and antiRepublicanism. “It was a terrible society”, he explains. “The sense of discrimination and bigotry was extraordinary. It was a sort of apartheid regime. It could have been changed by peaceful methods. Republicans didn’t want peaceful methods and they didn’t want reform; they wanted war. They got the war, and we got twentysix years of idiocy, twenty-six years of tragedy.” Outspoken and notably defiant in his opinions, Kevin Myers has earned himself the title of one of the most controversial writers today. His works are so far penetrating that he is known to have received hate mail, and even death threats. Public perception of Myers is forever in a state of turmoil, and at a major junction in his career – after the publication of his infamous ‘Mothers of Bastards’ article in The Irish Times – Myers claimed that he had to be given “round-the-clock Garda protection.” The article in question, published in February of 2005, caused a frenzy in the media – starting with Vincent Browne’s show on RTÉ and carrying over to radio shows the next morning. From Pat Kenny, to News at One, to Joe Duffy, the hype lasted for days and Myers was attacked by columnists all over the country. The article itself argued how youths were apparently devoting their efforts to “becoming professional unmarried mothers, living off the State

until the grave takes over.” It later went on to flirt with the damned term itself: “And how many girls – and we’re largely talking about teenagers here – consciously embark upon a career of mothering bastards because it seems a good way of getting money and accommodation from the State? Ah. You didn’t like the term bastard? No, I didn’t think you would.” Aware that he had little or no friends in the media at the time, Myers talks me through the ‘Bastards’ scandal and his own regrets of the ordeal. “I certainly would not have done the ‘mothers of bastards’ article. As you will discover, journalists play with words and I was playing with words that particular day and I wanted an acronym for the single mother living on the state. I had all sorts of things and I came up with the term ‘mob’, so I used it – catastrophically, as you know. It wasn’t a particularly good

article. It was a bad article.” Though Myers defends the opinion found beneath the so-assaulted term, he maintains a strong level of regret. It can be argued that many at the time were upset not by the opinion itself, but by its somewhat insensitive execution. Putting this argument forward to Myers himself, he responds,“I think the execution of me was what they had in mind! That’s what it was. Somebody had said, ‘Listen, they were waiting in the long grass for you.’ They were all there – the feminists, the equality merchants, the republicans – they were there. They tore me apart.” However, by this stage in his long-standing journalistic endeavours, Myers was not a stranger to widely illfavoured sentiments. In 2003, the George W. Bush administration embarked on a campaign against Saddam Hussein’s regime in Iraq and invaded the country in March of that year. With critics and antiwar activists rampant at the time, Myers shocked the nation by showing support for the move. His regrets for the support he portrayed are all too evident. On this delicate matter, he articulates his logic at

the time.

“Knowing what I do of war, my enthusiasm is inexcusable, but I did enthusiastically back the Americans in the invasion of Iraq in 2003, and I know why I did that: because people who are being anti-American, I detest so many of them. Because that’s what they do; they’re anti-American. They’re going to oppose America no matter what they do… they take a reflex anti-American position and I took the reflex position opposite theirs, which is really stupid. Don’t allow yourself to be drawn into a position merely because of the opinions of others, just to set yourself up against them. That’s just stupid. And I was stupid.” Myers’ obvious remorse is difficult to ignore. Though he naturally argues for the necessity of an armed force to take down a murderous regime like that of Hussein, he reflects on his self-confessed deplorable enthusiasm. “I just have to look at my own position there, and I was wrong – not just wrong in supporting the war, but wrong in the way I supported the war… I’m ashamed of myself.” Despite Kevin Myers’ somewhat fierce public persona, the man now glancing at his empty coffee cup seems altogether human. His unvarnished

honesty in discussing his life and career serves only to prove his unyielding advocacy in the upholding of truth. Indeed, Myers remarks that what he deems most worthy in any journalist is “the attempt to be honest the whole time, which sounds awfully pious… We’re human beings and we have a duty to tell the truth. That’s all it comes down to at every level. As historians and journalists, we tell the fucking truth.” Fierce as he is regularly perceived, Myers concludes by offering somewhat of a defence in terms of his work. “I try to tell the truth, however uncomfortable it is. And it is very uncomfortable… One of my many failings is that I am seduced by words… I know I have hurt people by using words [and] I hate that. I don’t like hurting people.” Walking away from the interview, I can’t help but feel that a certain level of ignorance has been lost. When reality falls victim to myth, truth becomes distorted and our limited vision allows us to see simply what we want. I glance back at a shrewd-looking greyhaired man driving away, and realise that love him or loath him, Kevin Myers will be watching the door for a long time to come.

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24.11.09

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Working to a new rule As Christmas chaos threatens to sweep UCD, Slightly Molliﬁed devises his own inimitable response to staff industrial action

“P

ower to the little people!”, I bellow into the morning air as loudly and cheerfully as I can, tooting the horn as I swing left off the Belfield flyover and onto campus. When in Rome, and all that. As I drive through the front gates, the knot of surly-looking strikers gathered at the entrance parts for a moment to let me past. One or two shoot a suspicious glance at my distinctive choice of vehicle. I’m not surprised. I’ve brought the new Land Cruiser out for today’s little jaunt, thinking it’s the only thing capable of getting me around campus fast enough to oversee things. It’s nice to be able to bring it for a proper spin as well, after the substantial downpayment UCD have already contributed. But I digress. The more extreme element in the crowd obviously thinks I might be a representative of the UCD corporate juggernaut, here to subvert their little attempt at industrial action. They’d be right. Money is what today is all about; lots of money. Destined to end up lining my pocket, if I have anything to do with it. I continue on in past the Services blockhouse, turning right to motor towards my usual stomping ground in the Student Centre. I’m breaking UCD’s traffic regulations with a will here, but somehow, I don’t think anyone’s going to mind today. I slow down and lower the electric window, as I pass a familiar looking figure walking through the car park. He’s right on time. “Dr Allen, I presume?” I can’t resist a little Arts wise-crack. He glances around furtively and returns his gaze to me. Puffing his chest out, he roars at me for the benefit of anyone listening. “You and your blackleg associates won’t be getting away with this, Mollified!” Whipping his gaze left and right to make sure he’s in the clear, he shuffles a little closer to the window and lowers his voice to a careful whisper. “Is everything going to plan?” “Why, of course, Doc, of course. Brady and the rest of the fat cats aren’t going to know what’s hit them once today is over.” Even as an inveterate liar, it does occasionally pain me to have to stoop to an untruth. Brady and company know precisely the manner in which they’ll be hit, because I’ve been considerate enough to ensure that an itemised quote for the services I’m about to render was emailed to every member of Governing Authority over the past week. The good Dr Allen, thankfully, is still in the dark about that for the moment. Truth be told – which it rarely is, with me – Belfield’s answer to Big Jim Larkin thinks that I’m on his side here. This isn’t the first time we’ve had one of these seedy little meetings. I’ve been grooming the SIPTU mouthpiece for weeks now, steadily building up his confidence and convincing him that Mollified & Mollified Inc. truly mean no harm to the working man. And indeed we don’t – provided, of course, that the working man doesn’t get in our way. For the moment, the Belfield Bukharin is content to believe that all the pleasant skulduggery I’ve been up to over the past two weeks is in aid of today’s Big Lefty

Day Out. “Don’t worry,” I whisper back, struggling to hide the smirk. “You hurry down to the main picket and keep the troops going. I’ll check in with my lot now.” With that, I take off in a haze of exhaust fumes, leaving the rabble-rousing academic to blink after me before continuing on his way. I screech to a halt outside the Student Centre and jump out of the Land Cruiser to draw a deep breath of satisfaction and anticipation before marching up the concrete steps. Inside, the assembled crowd falls silent at my appearance, staring expectantly toward me. It’s not almost like a general about to address his troops before going into battle. That’s exactly what this is. Facing me in the tiled atrium of the Student Centre is a motley crew of the very best that the world’s murky mercenary network has to offer. Killers, assassins, hired guns – I’ve got them all right here. It’s quite astonishing what a bit of deft work on CraigsList and a blank cheque from the NUI can do to build a personal army. And these boys mean business. Looking at the array of lean, tanned faces, with muscles bulging under faded combat fatigues, I find it hard to suppress an in-

est, if the widows of the Ivory Coast are to be believed. Still, profitable workmanship can’t happen without the right tools. There’ll never be a safe way to say it, so I just go for it. Reaching behind my back, I produce a linen pinafore and hand it over to the giant. “This is your, eh… uniform… for today.” He growls slightly, and fixes me with a most unedifying glare. Backing quickly away, I hastily draw the cheque book from my pocket and wave it at him. At the hint of filthy lucre, the tension is instantly broken and a smile breaks his craggy features once again. “But of course, Slightly!” He barks a quick order and his men follow suit, strapping the pinafores on over their webbing and cartridge belts. “Excellent! You’ll be manning the restaurant for the day!” I quickly stride around the remainder of my real-life A Team and hand out their assignments. One-day stoppage? We’ll soon see. As I shepherd my strike force out the door, my phone vibrates in my pocket. It’s Brady, anxiously checking in. “R we gud 2 go?” The ingrate. DIT students could make a better fist of spelling. Still, for the moment, I’m relying on him for the remain-

“Money is what today is all about. Lots of money. Destined to end up lining my pocket, if I have anything to do with it” voluntary shiver, even though I know that I’m the employer here, not the potential victim. At any rate, I hope I won’t be ending up a murder victim. Still, the old Mollified charm has never failed yet. Composing myself, I step up to the nearest gaggle of hard men and offer a careful smile, glancing down at the cheat sheet I’d printed off before I left the house. “Solomon, isn’t it?” I address the man-mountain who appears to lead this particular faction. He smiles back, revealing two jagged ranks of gold-capped teeth. I suppress another squirming fit, and remember why the name had stuck in my head from the recruitment session last week. Solomon “Chop-Chop” Nkumbe, if I recall it exactly. The fastest man with a machete in West Africa – if not the neat-

ing half of M&M’s fee. I punch back a quick reply in the affirmative, and wander over to the SU Corridor to make a coffee and await events. Being in command has its perks, I reflect to myself, as I settle in to my recliner. ~~ By 10am, word has filtered back over the two-way radio. My own little attempt at a Dramsoc staging of The Eagle Has Landed has worked a charm. Everywhere, service across campus has carried on as normal. The South Africans are manning the library check-in desks with marked efficiency, there’s a clutch of Belgian paratroopers offering French tutorials in the Arts Block, and a squad of burly

Ghurkhas are conducting rather wideeyed secondary school pupils on whistlestop tours of the campus. Over in Science, two stocky Ukrainian sappers are giving a First Year Chemistry class a practical demonstration in material mixing. I know this last detail without needing to use the radio, because I can hear the periodic explosions from my office. Ah, the joys of being an educational administrator. I’m still enjoying my little reverie when there’s a commotion outside the office. The door crashes open to reveal a very, very disgruntled looking senior Sociology lecturer. “You lying rat!” he shrieks, lunging for me across the table. “You promised me you’d have extra numbers to boost the picket line! And now, you’ve got them… working?! You told me you were a bloody Socialist!” This could be tricky, so I proceed as carefully as I can. I take him through it patiently. “Indeed I am, Doc. There are very few more fervently committed to the principles of socialism than I. Equal and fair distribution of wealth, that’s always been the name of my game.” He doesn’t seem to like this. “Do you think I’m a fool, Mollified?!” “Calm down,” I insist. “It’s true. Fair distribution to me, to my mistresses, to the Toyota dealer in Ranelagh, to my dealer… need I go on?” He’s about to heave a laptop at me when something seems to click into place behind his eyes. “Fair distribution… of just how much?” he asks, carefully. Despite my many failings, I still place some store in modesty, so I scribble Brady’s figure on a scrap of jotting paper and slide it across the table. His eyes open wider as he locates the decimal place. “But, that’s…” “I know,” I nod. “All those unclaimed registration over-charges. It’s like some grotesque version of all the ticket stubs at Dublin Bus Head Office.” He turns it over quickly in his head. Idealism never has much of hope against cold, hard logic. “20 per cent?” he suggests. I counter quickly. “15, and my boys in the library will throw in enough swiped Che Guevara biographies to keep you engrossed for the rest of the winter.” We have a deal. ~~ Within an hour, Allen’s worked his persuasive magic down at the picket line, and staff members are starting to shuffle back to work all over campus. But there’s one small problem. The boys, you see, have quickly become quite attached to their new roles. Over in the Tierney Building, two wiry Zimbabwean gunmen have been processing student administration queries with an efficiency that the place hasn’t seen since the days of Cardinal Newman, while students already seem to be becoming quite fond of the culinary output of the tattooed Chechen cook who’s taken up residence in 911. They’re not in a hurry to finish up the

job any time soon, and I’m not quite sure the student body want them to leave. This creates a problem, however. If my gang of thugs aren’t allowed to move on to their next bit of work, then there’ll be a vital ingredient missing from war zones and dark alleyways the world over. On the other hand though, if the majority of UCD’s staff members are allowed

“It’s quite astonishing what a bit of deft work on CraigsList and a blank cheque from the NUI can do to build a personal army” back, then villages the world over will still be lacking their idiots. I think about it, and make my decision. It’s time for some impromptu career exchanges. Gesturing Chop-Chop over, I get him and his men to quickly swap clothing with the frightened looking staff members gathered outside the O’Reilly Hall. Once it’s complete, I stride across to address the lecturers and workers now garbed in ridiculously over-sized camouflage. Behind them in the car park, engines are revving on the military trucks waiting to transport them to Dublin Airport for their charter flights to various hot and dangerous parts of the world. “What happens to you next will be… very interesting,” I drawl. “Think of it as simply an extended field-trip. Examining the practical effects of Darwinism.” I mumble the last sentence though. You can’t completely take away their hope. As I watch one of the key human components of UCD file away under armed guard, I’m aware that I may have just done something very, very bad – even by my standards. B ut then I turn around just in time to catch the look of youthful excitement on a south Dublin Arts fresher’s face, as a bearded Serbian militiaman shows him exactly where to punch someone so as to instantly paralyse them. I had that excitement once, too. Maybe my changes will make UCD a better place. It’s never too late to try and be good. Merry Christmas, Mr Mollified. strictly.mollified@universityobserver.ie

24.11.09

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A cold spell for retailers As the Christmas shopping season hits overdrive, Catherine Maguire lifts the lid on Dublin’s retail hotspots to see just how outlets are trying to cope at the tail end of recession

t’s that time of year again: Christmas is fast approaching and the pressure to spend that cold, hard cash is growing. However, at this time of year when we might all grumble about the pressures placed on consumers, we must also remember the pressure on the retailer. Sales have to be maximised as much as possible, targets have to be met, and above all, retailers have to ensure that they can stay in business. Even walking through Grafton Street or Dundrum Town Centre there is a huge difference in the style of advertising seen at this time of year: it is all about the sales. The University Observer contacted a number of retailers about their Christmas sales targets. While some of the companies contacted failed to respond, citing the market-sensitive nature of the information, it is in plain sight for all to see. Truth be told, the pressure is on for retailers like never before. Your correspondant works in the retail profession, and can report first-hand that in comparison to last year, there has been a significant increase in the number of sales or discount opportunities being broadcasted to the potential customer. There has been an enormous change in the marketing approach this time around, in contrast to last Christmas. It is far more cut-throat than usual – even though there have been subtle signs of improvement and profiteering in the industry. No matter how one looks at it, shop-

“H&M’s Jimmy Choo range sold out in a matter of hours, and given the price of a single pair of shoes, brought in a tidy profit” pers or customers are hungry for a bargain. For example, ladies’ retailer Coast has reduced its prices for the second time, so as to keep their euro and sterling prices near parity. While the euro-sterling levelling has not been publicised to any great extent, it is a good effort to bring shoppers in.

H&M’s Jimmy Choo range sold out in a matter of hours, and given the price of a single pair of shoes, brought in a tidy profit. Even other high street retailers like Marks & Spencer have been employing and collaborating with designers like Sandra Rhodes or Sex and the City stylist Patricia Field in an effort to drum up extra interest in their wares. Think about it: this type of marketing ploy has only been introduced in the last two years. Retailers have too much to lose in the current climate, and are now taking risks they would never have taken during the Celtic Tiger era. A-Wear is an excellent example of how retailers have been hopping on any bandwagon going, with its Twilight-inspired range – just in time for the movie’s release and the Christmas period. It makes perfect sense; if a certain franchise is raking in serious cash, why not jump on the bandwagon and try to maximise sales as much as possible? In the current economic climate – a phrase it has almost become taboo to use – it is no surprise that sales have been fluctuating non-stop. There is no evidence to support a trend or solid increase or decrease, proving that the market is far more volatile than consumers might think. Behind the scenes, advertising planning for the Christmas season now starts in August. For many companies, especially catalogue-based businesses, promotions for the following Christmas start as soon as the New Year kicks in. Decorations arrive in stores shortly after the beginning of September. The Christmas makeovers start to take shape once Halloween has passed; decorations are put up and carols are injected into the airwaves. It is a familiar protocol, but it starts earlier and earlier every year. It is a relentless, tiresome and gruelling process. There is no break; the Christmas drive is applied and borne in mind in other marketing opportunities throughout the entire year. Thankfully, there have been reports of many high street shops in Britain experiencing a rise in sales, but this begs a pertinent question: will the sales bubble last into the New Year? In all honesty it is hard to tell. If we compare the start of 2009 to the beginning of 2008, we find a huge difference in consumer spending. People spent far more money in 2009 than at the previous New Year. It’s baffling, and almost a little bit ironic: no prices were changed, the recession was in full swing, and the euro-sterling equalisation had not taken place. So, what can we expect for this Christmas and the New Year? It seems the likely forecast is for fierce competition, huge January sales and vicious bargain hunters. While there is a strong sense of déjà vu, there is a huge difference in the ambience in the world of retail marketing. Different businesses have a different interpretation of the situation at hand. Some seem to be taking it easy, absorbing the recession in their strides and casually understating their discounts, while others shout about their bargains from the rooftops. So, while I finish off the rest of my gingerbread man latte – or whatever the hell it’s called – I find myself with a sense of wonder. Is it worth all of the effort? It creates jobs for more people; prices may be reduced to entice customers... Oh! Hang on! Is that bag real leather? Does that say ‘50%’…? Have your say on this article at www.universityobserver.ie

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24.11.09

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Cold dark and wire-less

With Christmas exams fast approaching, Amy Bracken decides to see if a day spent away from electricity could help her concentrate on the books…

hen I was asked if I’d be up to the task of refraining from all forms of electronic technology for a day, I wasted no time in accepting. I mean, how hard could it be? With the exam period coming up, the idea of a day without constant visits to Facebook and countless pointless text messages seemed a practical and sensible idea. Challenge accepted. So, having carefully taken the time to inform my family and friends that I would not be availing of the usage of my mobile phone or laptop for a day, I felt pretty proud of myself when I set my alarm on an old clock instead of my phone. Cue catch number one. I forget that my old alarm clock possesses no shape or form of a snooze button, and woke up at 9:20am for a 9am lecture. Smooth. Stumbling sleepily into the kitchen, my confidence about my antique challenge immediately shatters: I realise that I will have to resort to a meagre breakfast of dry bread, being banned from popping it into the toaster for even a second. Add to this the fact that for the first time in years I couldn’t have a cup of tea with my breakfast, and you can gather a clear picture of my pain. Back upstairs. Get dressed. Reflexively reach for hair straightening irons. Pause. Remember. It’s going to be a long day. Aside from my voluntary Amish lifestyle, my day is further complicated by the presence of an eminently failable French aural exam. So, in standard last-minute cramming for my exam, I instinctively reach for the laptop to do some practise exercises on Moodle... and then I remember. I decide to resort to notes and simply hope for the best. Giving up after a while, getting nowhere without my electronic props, I decide to pop into college early (!) and drop some books back to the library. Realising I cannot actually enter the library – using the swipe entry system would involve using electronics – I deposit them into the Book Return Box at the admissions desk. The fines will have to build up for another day. I arrive outside the classroom ten minutes early, so I reach for my MP3 player... and then, again, I remember. Cue temptation to give up. Cue anger at self-imposed challenge. Gah. In hindsight, I would probably have given up on my challenge there and then, had I cottoned onto the obvious fact that my task would be immediately failed come 6pm when I had my exam. Midway

through class, I reach for my phone to text a friend and inform her of the sheer frustration of my irritating (albeit slightly hilarious) day. Then I realise that said phone is switched off in a drawer at home. This day just keeps getting worse and worse. Following my solitary class of the day (because, as mentioned, I missed my first lecture), I head to the Arts Café for something to satisfy my grumbling belly after my meagre ‘breakfast’. I am proud to admit that I technically didn’t break any rules in this respect, availing of soup (preheated – don’t give me that look) and a roll. Just to emphasise my claim, I entered through the side doors of the Newman Building and not through the automated front doors.

“With the exam period coming up, the idea of a day without constant visits to Facebook and countless pointless text messages seemed a practical and sensible idea” Time for a pitstop at home. As I open the front door I hear the TV in the living room. I dash upstairs, knowing that if I go inside, I’ll be lured to look at it. My room is dark, thanks to horrendous black clouds infesting the sky, but alas, I can’t turn on a

light. Thus a further attempt to study fails. At least – for once – I have a good reason to procrastinate. Once again I make for UCD, and arrive promptly at 5:40pm for my 6pm test. (For the record, I have a clockwork watch and not a digital one, so that’s allowed, right?!) Honestly speaking, I suppose my pledge not to use electronic technology for a day was broken during my aural exam. But for the purpose of investigation, I have decided to ignore it. It was, after all, entirely out of my control. Exam over, and with a satisfied grin on my face, I head to the bus terminus, with plans to pop over to my aunt’s house for a pre-arranged drink. I fumble in my bag for change, realising angrily that I cannot use the prepaid bus ticket I bought this morning for that purpose – the validation machine is, after all, a form of electronic technology. It was only when I had boarded and paid that I realised the bus had electric lights, but I was cold and tired and didn’t fancy walking to Glasnevin – and, come to think of it, I couldn’t avoid the street lights when I changed buses in the city. Of course, I had totally forgotten that my aunt’s house is similar to Fort Knox. Discovering the gate to her house is locked, I have to shout her name over and over to try and attract attention, because of course I cannot phone her. My phone was still in the drawer in my bedroom, where I’d left it, knowing that if I had carried it with me it would be too difficult to resist temptation. Just as I am about to buckle and ask a passer-by to allow me borrow their mobile, I am gratefully admitted to the house, my face a prim shade of scarlet from sheer frustration.

A cup of tea and a quick stroll to the pub later, and I have started to calm down. Cue the damning, horrible realisation that I cannot watch the FranceIreland World Cup playoff. Cue immediate destruction of pledge. In fairness, with four or five screens in the pub showing the match, I could hardly avoid it, could I? Honestly said, I wish I hadn’t bothered. I still haven’t shaken off the devastation. Back to my almost-over analogue day, as I explain my newly-failed challenge to my aunt and cousin, and persuade them that we don’t need lights or background music to have a chat and catch-up. They agree, and before we know it, it’s 4.30am and my day is technically over. I gladly ignore the fact that the day shouldn’t end until I go to bed, using my aunt’s phone to call a taxi. When I eventually get home, I take great pleasure in boiling the kettle for a cup of tea and going on Facebook to check how many anti-Thierry Henry groups have been created in the six hours since the match ended. I also set my alarm - on my phone this time. Overall, not the most successful, rigid (it was very easily broken!) nor, admittedly, the most enjoyable challenge. However, it struck me that most of the items we use today – laptops, mobile phones, MP3 players, and so on – had barely been heard of twenty years ago, so why do we find it so difficult to survive a couple of hours without them now? Either way, one thing is clear - it is virtually impossible for the modern Irish student to live without technology, if even for a day. Boil the kettle.

Scoláireacht Iomlán ar fáil do mhac léinn le bunchéim (BA) nó le hiarchéim (MA) sa Ghaeilge.

PhD sa Litríocht Iarratas ar líne amháin Spriocdháta: 1 Feabhra 2010

Gach eolas http://phdliterature.nd.edu/ Professor Bríona Nic Dhiarmada Roinn Theanga & Litríocht na Gaeilge 422 Flanner Hall Notre Dame, IN 46556, S.A.M Ríomhphost: NicDhiarmada.1@nd.edu

24.11.09

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Academic infidelity With an exam in the Quinn School of Business cancelled as a result of cheating, Peter Molloy delves into the perplexing world of academic dishonesty and assesses just how feasible cheating remains in certain sections of UCD

Features Editor

aving trouble getting your mind to focus on the books this afternoon? Here’s a quick one to get the mental cogs turning. What have certain UCD Commerce students and the current captain of the French national football team got in common? Stumped? The correct answer is a decidedly dubious attitude to fair play. Unless you really have been overdoing it in the library over the past week, then footballing news, and the resultant unlikelihood of Thierry Henry electing to holiday in Ireland anytime soon, shouldn’t require much elaboration. What might require some explanation, however, are developments in the Quinn School of Business. Within the past fortnight, a continuous assessment examination has been cancelled as a result of students who had already sat the exam photocopying the assessment and distributing to it to classmates who had yet to take the paper. Recriminations were ongoing at the time of The University Observer going to print, with a significant number of affected students vocally opposed to the cancellation and the resulting requirement for an 85 per cent examination at the end of the semester. The incident has served to highlight a recurring issue of contention for UCD, or any other academic institution for that matter: plagiarism. Intellectual dishonesty, uncited use of external research, heavily influenced conclusions – dress it up however you wish, but the question of academic cheating remains a thorny one. I know I haven’t, and there’s a substantial chance you haven’t, but the odds realistically are that at least someone, somewhere on campus who settles down to read this page has benefited academically from dishonest means at some point during their studies. So just how difficult is it for the undergraduate of 2009 to utilise dishonesty as a means of getting ahead in grades? I’m a final year History student, and as I write, end-of-semester assignments are rapidly piling up. Like most students, I haven’t the slightest intention of cheating in order to get the job done – even if the ethics of it didn’t bother me, I’d be less than confident about my ability to actually get away with it. But how feasible is cheating in the first place? As it usually does, Google poses some interesting clues. For a break from an afternoon trawling through journal articles, I decide to enter something much blunter into the search engine: ‘college history essays’. 0.31 seconds later, my options for dishonesty have increased to the tune of around 8,680,000 hits. This is interesting. I click on the very first suggested page, titled – with a cringing lack of subtleness – www.cheathouse.com. But wait; has my cynicism led me to misjudge things? Is this the intellectual equivalent of the hooker with a heart of gold? For, as soon as I enter the website, I notice that despite the eye-catching title, cheathouse.com actually appears to be solidly against plagiarism. In fact, as a banner on the its homepage prominently points out, any first time visitors with delicate scruples can be reassured by the patented CheatHouse secret: “When you cite, it isn’t cheating”. So far so good. From one deft click of the mouse, I appear to have stumbled across an online equivalent to the Arts

Café, where I can whittle away the rest of the weekend, happily swapping notes on historiography and dissertation methodology with other students across the world. Not really though. Just like the happy hooker who’s crossed to the bad side of 50 and should really be considering getting off the streets, push too heavily on the façade of a website like CheatHouse and the make-up starts to smudge. What’s underneath is decidedly less altruistic. Just beneath the site’s reassuring message is a much larger button marked “Sign up and become a member.” A minor matter of registration, perhaps? Ah, credit card details. I see. In reality, CheatHouse and its ilk have about as much to do with easily accessible, legitimate forums for academic review as your local drug dealer does with responsible retail practice. The truth of the matter is that getting your foot in the door of a website like this is going to set a student back to the cool tune of $69.95 for a three-month subscription. Still, there’s nothing like inspecting goods before you buy them. Undeterred by the hefty membership fee, I set about doing a bit of online tyre-kicking, and have a look at the 120-word essay samples

available to prospective customers. After all, $70 should be ensuring that what I’m buying into is top-of-the-class stuff… shouldn’t it? Alas, I’m quickly finding that the reality of essay websites belies their quick and easy promise. I search CheatHouse for “Battle of Waterloo essay” as a sample, and settle in to my chair to read over the first page of results. Should my moral fibre ever crumble sufficiently to lead to me succumbing to the temptation of plagiarism, this should be the stuff that MA admissions are made of. Except it isn’t at all. The majority of the results that I find appear to be rather leaden high school essays from American teenagers – solid stuff for a 17-year-old in Iowa, but not exactly the kind of material I’d be convinced enough by to stake a substantial chunk of my GPA on. Then I chance upon an A- essay from an American BA course. Perhaps this is what I’m looking for? I type far too soon. “In a time when regimes came and went with the seasons, Napoleon’s loyalty was always to the country of France never to her newest despot.” Hmmm. Written expression aside; my reading on the period had always suggested that Napoleon

“In reality, CheatHouse and its ilk have about as much to do with easily accessible, legitimate forums for academic review as your local drug dealer does with responsible retail practice”

rather was France’s “newest despot” from about 1799 onwards. I’m not convinced here. For argument’s sake, though, let’s assume that it’s the early hours of a Friday morning over the next fortnight or so, and I’m still awake at home, cup of coffee in hand, with a realisation slowly dawning that an impending assignment deadline is just too close. Resolve cracks, and a Visa card is produced. In short order, I have a ready-made essay answer nestled in my inbox, and I’m now on the murky fast track to getting the marks I need to pull me through the Christmas exam period. Or am I? As an Arts student, with regular essays and assignments the bread and butter of my academic life, submitting physical copies of written work has become a familiar routine. I sign the same form formally declaring that I haven’t plagiarised as any other student, but if I’ve already crossed the ethical line of unaccredited use of other people’s work, one more lie to add to the list is unlikely to deter me that much. Since September, however, this procedure has changed. The SafeAssign system that the university have rolled out over the past three years has now become the default for History and a range of other subjects. Every single semi-colon that’s emerged from my home printer for academic credit since the beginning of this semester has gone through twin submission – one hard copy handed in as normal; and a second submitted electronically via Blackboard. This causes the plot to thicken. So now, perhaps I really would be taking a risk. The last time I submitted an assignment, Safe Assign promptly informed me that approximately 17 per cent of my paper was plagiarised. It wasn’t in the slightest – the system had taken exception to the bibliography I’d concluded my essay with – but the warning was unmistakeable. If clearly referencing sources is sufficient to raise a virtual red flag, then what kind of mincemeat would the system make of Bob from Indiana and his disjointed take on the First French Empire? Student bravado might still prove sufficient to stare down this stumbling block, of course. Anyone desperate enough might well gamble that a stolen piece of work is simply too obscure for a catch-all computer programme to discover; or that an average lecturer might be slow to move with the times, and might prefer to correct hard copies of student work. But it’s a distinct reason to pause and reconsider for the morally wavering. Bringing something like SafeAssign to the academic table is the equivalent of random Garda road-blocks on a Friday or Saturday night. You might well get away with it, and there’s no absolute certainty of being caught out, but hop in your car with a skin-full and there’s a distinct chance that a checkpoint around the next bend might well spell the beginning of the process of disqualification. For the moment, I think I’ll fight the good fight and try my level best to keep my student pennies from the dubious brains behind a site like CheatHouse. com… at least until December, anyway.

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

24.11.09

OPINION

opinion@universityobserver.ie

TALLEYRAND Regimes may fall and fail, but I do not… Servus! Talleyrand is used to receiving fan mail from his legions of adoring half-wit wannabe supporters. Indeed there is no greater pleasure than spending idle weekends leafing through volumes of missives from darling fans who would love nothing better than for Talleyrand to lose a fight with a combine harvester or an industrial lawnmower. Sadly, Talleyrand reports himself to be in better fettle than ever, newly abounded by the forthcoming opportunity to spend several entire weeks away from the festering dump known as the Student Centre. Talleyrand’s week was made, though, by a particularly endearing fan mail. Hey, I respect what you do as talleyrand and I know your Id is important to be kept clear! Can I suggest one thing, please high light the name of the person your talking about, like the years before and have funny comments like before Regards, Ah, Scottie. The cockles of Talleyrand’s stony grey heart are warmed by your tireless devotion to the cause of utter ridiculousness. Keep the emails coming sweetheart, Talleyrand needs fuel for the winter. The Tipperary Tyrant has been back to his old deviousness this week, being generally useless and assuming that we of the hackery type have been out to get him. Imagine the shock poor Scottie Not In The Slightest Bit Hottie must have had when a ruthless reporter asked him to comment about the holiest of holies, his Let’s Get Our Tits Out Calendar. “I can’t believe you done that to me… out, please,” wailed our Well Fairy, shocked at how he had been cornered by such a ballwenchingly honest and genuine question. Poor lad. Let’s hope those evil truth-seekers forget that poor old Scottie has a BlackBerry and can be contacted… all the time. Not, of course, that he’ll be quick to respond, especially when Competence & Communications Officer, Rob-in Hoodie Lowney has skipped bail and managed to flee from the Goonion’s wretched talons for several whole, agonisingly complete days. Transpires that some of the Sapbats can’t answer emails without How Low-ney Can You Go getting the chance to buck up their ideas and scrape some shreds of sense from their deranged communiqués. Rob’s demob papers come in the immediate aftermath of the tragic absence of one Gary Redmond, who popped over for a romantic midweek sejour with his bestest pals to Seriously-Very-Gay Paris. Thankfully Redsy returned safe and sound to put some manners on Plastic Paddy, who was so shocked by news that nobody likes him that he texted all the people in his phone looking for solidarity, only for both of them to tell them they were very busy and important. Upon spying our hallowed publication last week he immediately set about seeking legal advice from the country’s best and brightest. Sadly, when they also ignored his calls (notice a trend here, Paddy?), he did the next best thing, and asked a second year Law student. So astoundingly brilliant was the advice, that Paddy set out suing for libel, before being reminded/educated/smacked-around-theface-until-he-believed that he’d be suing the SU and its publications officer, which is… himself. Take a bow, son, take a bow. Finally, an honorable mention for the Union of Stupids in Ireland who celebrated 50 remarkable years of total and utter anonymity last week. Lay may it continue; nobody wants to see you lot around here again. Get out and stay out. Thank Christ it’s time for the Jesusfest holidays. Branded pens and highlighters for all! Talleyho-ho-ho, Talleyrand

Quotes of the fortnight “The antithesis of improvisation is shitting yourself” David O’Doherty on nerves

“We’re here to talk about Welfare Week...I actually can’t believe you done that to me. Out please.” Welfare Officer Scott Ahearn responds to our reporter’s question about the status of the SU naked calendar

“English translation si vous plait”

“As far as we’re concerned the university is not open”

SIPTU French soccer captain representative Thierry Henry asks an Dr Kieran Allen on today’s strike English journalist to clarify their question action at last Saturday’s press conference

Ballot box blues Catherine Ashton’s appointment to a key EU position is a blow to the concept of democracy, writes Gavan Reilly

his correspondent, it would appear, spectacularly misjudged the mood of the nation’s leaders when confidently predicting an easy appointment to the European Commission for Pat Cox on these pages two weeks ago. Thankfully, I didn’t manage to put my neck any further on the line, and pick a candidate for either of the two big continental jobs that were up for appointment at last week’s EU summit in Brussels. While it wasn’t unthinkable that the name of Herman Van Rompuy would emerge for the top job of President of the European Council, the chances of plucking Catherine Ashton’s name from the ether to be the EU’s first High Representative for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy – a European foreign minister in all but styling – were beyond slim. Catherine Ashton – or, more formally, The Baroness Ashton of Upholland – is a 53-year-old former Leader of the House of Lords and, until this week, one of the most anonymous members of the European Commission, having succeeded Peter Mandelson as Trade Commissioner last October. Given a lifetime seat in the House of Lords in 1999, Ashton has previously worked with bodies such as the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (of which she was a vice-chair) and the National Council for One Parent Families (vice-president). After being made a peer, Ashton had been three-times appointed to the British equivalent of a junior ministry, before being promoted to the Cabinet as Leader of the House of Lords, where insiders report her playing no small role in the safe passage of the Lisbon Treaty. Ashton’s CV certainly reads impressively, and she is evidently thought very highly of by both Gordon Brown, who spent substantial political currency in securing her appointment, and by his fellow European leaders who have entrusted her with a new, untried, ill-defined and potent position. There would seem to be little fault with Ashton, whose record is almost exemplary, but for one significant flaw. Catherine Ashton, now arguably the second most powerful politician in Europe and one of the most powerful women in the world, has never – never – been elected to public office. In principle, the project and work of the European Union is a noble endeavour; after twice being ripped apart by bloody and brutal war, the nations of Europe entered into community with the dream of harmonising

relations between its powers and striving for a peaceful future for its citizens. While its work in latter years might be deemed to waver slightly from this goal, the concept of the EU is a fair and admirable one. The main problem with the European Union, as it has evolved, is that far too little power within it rests with elected officials. Commissioners, while usually public figures in their home country, are not formally elected to their European positions; the President of the European Commission (currently Jose Manuel Barroso) is given tremendous representative clout for somebody with whom the public have no electoral relationship; and the members of the European Parliament, modelled as a continental legislature, have little or no ability to actually legislate, Catherine Ashton will assume the position of acting merely as light artillery High Representative on Foreign Affairs next in political battles between the month leadership of the parliamentary groups. This problem was ing a chance to approve them at the ballot one of the key areas implicitly recognised in box first. the Lisbon Treaty as requiring reform. This brings me to the core problem with The EU might try to portray itself as Catherine Ashton: it is regrettable, but sadly being a democratic entity, where everyone tolerable, that members of the European with power has been given a mandate of Commission – where the EU wields its some sort and is thus accountable to those greatest power – are not directly elected to who appoint them. In reality, though, the their positions, and that the members of the European Union’s chains of command are European Parliament are relatively impojust as convoluted as its bureaucracy. Sure, tent in their ability to legislate at a continenmembers of the Court of Auditors (to tal level. At the very least, though, appointpluck a random example) may be elected, ments to the Commission are usually taken but they’ll have been nominated by people from the cabinets of each member state; in who might not have faced a ballot box in Van Rompuy’s case, he was at least the head years, or who themselves were appointed by of government of one of the member states. equally tenuously-mandated officials. Ashton flies in the face of this though: Democracy is a system of government not only has she not been elected to her either carried out by the people or by position in the British cabinet, but she has representatives acting on their behalf. One never faced the court of public opinion as of the most persistent arguments against an elected official of any sort. The entirety continuing EU expansion – and against of the power she has held over her public the Lisbon Treaty – was the cementing and life has been without public endorsement, augmenting of positions which were not and this rotten system has now given her directly elected by the Union’s citizens, such unspeakable power on the greatest world as the positions Van Rompuy and Ashton stage. are soon to hold. Churchill once remarked that democracy It could be argued that the reason was “the worst form of government, except European reform has taken so long is that all those other forms that have been tried the people of Europe have fundamental from time to time.” It would seem that concerns about having hardened Eurocrats over fifty years later, sadly not much has exert power over them without at least havchanged.

24.11.09

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

EDITORIAL

editor@universityobserver.ie

Photo of the fortnight

Editorial

24th November 2009

The investigation conducted by this newspaper in to the security of our confidential personal information has provided shocking results. That we could so easily obtain the full transcript of two graduates, printed on UCD headed paper, signed by the Registrar and embossed with the UCD logo is both extremely worrying and dangerous. Luckily we are not out to use the information obtained for any malicious purpose, but there are many others in society whose intentions are not so honourable. Serious questions have been raised, and must be asked of the administrative procedures in UCD Registry. It’s difficult to think that staff in the office handed out these documents through carelessness or negligence. A rather more appealing, and fitting reason could be one of simple trust – but in the era of laptops full of bank details, social security numbers and customer information going missing on planes, trains and automobiles, can UCD Registry really afford to place so much faith in the motives of other people? It’s a sad fact, but someone, somewhere could use this information to do harm, and so UCD staff must be more suspicious, must be more conscientious and must be more careful in their dealings with sensitive personal information. New guidelines must be implemented to ensure that students’ and graduates’ details are protected from those out to do harm.

This week has seen yet another problem with examinations in the Quinn School of Business, yet another upheaval for students during a busy revision period, yet another mark against the administrative processes in UCD. An MCQ, which should have contributed 25 per cent of students’ grade for the semester has been cancelled after two students photocopied the paper to distribute among the class. While university authorities are quick to blame the students in this affair, it must be said that a degree of negligence has permeated the organisation of this exam. If two classes of students are to take an MCQ in the same subject on different days, then they should be different MCQs. Repeating the same exam two days after the original is not only a faintly ridiculous concept, but an extremely lazy approach to examinations. Preachng about “cute hoorism” and cheating should not be the first action of someone who did not take the time to ensure a level playing field for all students involved. Were all the first batch of students honest enough not to remove the paper, the questions would undoubtedly still make their way to the second group prior to the examination. When two different groups sit the same exam at different times, the second group will always have an unfair advantage. How can that possibly be construed as

Letters to the Editor Letters should be sent by email to letters@universityobserver.ie or by mail to: The Editor, The University Observer, Student Centre, Belfield, Dublin 4 All letters are subject to editorial approval. The Editor reserves the right to edit any letters.

Paddy Ryan and the IAB Madam, In your most recent issue (November 10th), the front page story concerning the status of Paddy Ryan as an elected sabbatical officer of the Students’ Union was seriously defective in its reference to the actions of the Independent Appeals Board (IAB) of the Union. The real situation is as follows. Paddy Ryan first applied to the IAB for membership of the Union in February as he had taken time out from his studies. The IAB granted his application so that he was entitled to stand for, and be elected as, a sabbatical officer for the 2009-2010 session. Sometime after the election, a member of the UCD academic staff raised the question of Paddy’s eligibility to be elected, so the IAB looked again at the facts of the case and satisfied itself that its original decision was correct. In the past few weeks, an anonymous communication was sent to the President of the Union which rehashed the same charge, i.e. that Paddy Ryan was ineligible to be admitted as a member of the Union. While our first reaction was to treat

this anonymous communication with the contempt it deserved, the IAB, for the avoidance of any doubt, decided to look at the issue once again. There was no new information brought to the attention of the IAB, and the IAB therefore once again confirmed its original decision. Moreover, there was no ‘dispute’ at the IAB about whether a non-registered student had to have the approval of the relevant Programme Board in order to apply to the IAB. The IAB abides by the Constitution of the Students’ Union and not by whatever regulations or definitions the University might, in its wisdom, introduce from time to time. I am disappointed that the Observer, a newspaper for which I have the greatest regard, did not see fit to check its story by contacting me as the Chair of the IAB and that it appears to have relied on leaked information and on an anonymous, and obviously malicious, communication. I trust that you will give this letter the same exposure as your original story. Yours, etc, Paddy O’Flynn Chair Independent Appeals Board

UCD fans’ short-lived joy during Ireland’s World Cup Playoff match against France last Wednesday

Photo Daire Brennan

a fair system of grading? Furthermore, the control of the examination centre must come under scrutiny. How did the students in question manage to make their way out of the room with a copy of the paper? Is the policy of this university not that all exam papers be collected at the end of the examination period?

It’s easy to blame these two students, and they should be punished for their actions, but if the other parts played in this most recent exam shambles in the Quinn School are downplayed – or worse overlooked – then something is rotten in the state of Belfield.

Our last issue, not only of the semester, nor of the year, but of the decade is upon us and truthfully rather more swiftly than we thought possible! On behalf of everyone at The University Observer I wish all our readers the very best in their exams, and a peaceful, happy holiday.

Contributors: Volume XVI, Issue 6 Editor Catriona Laverty Deputy Editor Gavan Reilly Art & Design Director Kristin McKnight otwo Editor Colin Sweetman News Editor Bridget Fitzsimons Comment Editor James Fagan Features Editor Peter Molloy Chief Features Writer Matt Gregg Science & Health Editor Farouq Manji Sport Editor Killian Woods Film & TV Editor Conor Barry Fashion Editor Seán McGovern Image Editor Colin Scally “He was interested and I was easy”

Contributors Agony Anto, The Badger, Niamh Beirne, Amy Bracken, Richard Chambers, Alex Court, Grace Duffy, Caitríona Farrell, Paul Fennessy, Ciara Fitzpatrick, Kris Goodbody, Patrick Guiney, Sally Hayden, Aileen Johnson, Matthew Jones, Fearghal Kerin, Alison Lee, Sophie Lioe, Ryan Mackenzie, Catherine Maguire, Jamie Martin, Michelle McCormick, Diarmuid McDermott, Donal McKeown, Seán Mc Kernan, Mystic Mittens, Slightly Mollified, Kellie Nwaokorie, Ciarán Ó Braonáin, Vincent O’Boyle, Quinton O’Reilly, Breffni O’Sullivan, David Osborn, Kate Rothwell, Jacob Ryan, Martin Scanlon, Katie Smith, Emer Sugrue, Talleyrand, Brian Thomson, Ekaterina Tikhoniouk, Selva Unal, David Uwakwe, Natalie Voorheis, Amy Wall, Amy Walsh, Leanne Waters

Photographers Seán Bonner, Daire Brennan, Emer Igbokwe, Aubrey Scully Special Thanks Richard, Graham, Malcolm, Ian, Tim, Dave, Jonathan, Ade, Emma (and the robots) at Trafford Park Printing; Paul at Higgs; Eilis O’Brien and Dominic Martella; Colm, Claire, Rory and Danielle at MCD Promotions; Dan and Orla at Friction PR; Laura and Darren at Warner; Bernie Divilly at PIAS; Rob Lowney; Giselle Jiang; Dave Carmody; Dominic, Grace, Mark, Sandra, Charlie, Jason, Paul and all the Student Centre staff; Marks & Spencer sushi, Bombay Pantry, Four Star Pizza, Spar Natural Spring Water, entire tins of Cadbury’s Roses and Celebrations, Natalie’s cupcakes, Ciara’s Rice Krispie buns, Galaxy Minstrels, Cadbury’s Caramel Nibbles, Pringles, waddling penguin Santa, Tuthills of Bloomfield. Very Special Thanks Michelle Mc Cormick

Clarification It is the policy of The University Observer to rectify any errors as soon as they arise. Queries and clarifications can be addressed to info@universityobserver. ie.

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

24.11.09

SCIENCE & HEALTH

science@universityobserver.ie

Exam season stress strikes again Panicking about the upcoming exams? Fear not – Ekaterina Tikhoniouk has some practical tips for surviving the season and making it safe and sane to the Christmas break

t’s that time of year again, when the days grow short, the trees on campus lose their golden leaves, and the college libraries slowly but surely fill with anxiouslooking students, all vying to use the photocopier at the same time, or running around the stacks in a frenzy, trying to find that elusive, but much-needed book. The end of autumn marks the start of that dreaded time – that’s right, Semester One exam season has officially begun. But it must be noted that exam season panic strikes at different times for each individual: for some this time of peril begins in the middle of week 10 or earlier; for others it starts the day before their first exam. You know the types, the ‘ah it’s grand, I’ll just pull an all-nighter’ ones…yeah you, listen up! Cramming twelve weeks’ information into your brain in one night might seem possible, but it won’t stay there, unless something else gets pushed out. You could stroll in to that exam knowing the exact dates of every battle in the Franco-Prussian War, but I bet you can’t tie your shoelaces any more. Let’s face it, we’ve all done the last minute cramming, people who haven’t are either too arrogant or too stupid to care. But no matter how late or how early

in the semester you start studying, we can all admit that exam time is a stressful time. Exams not only take a toll on your social life, but also on your health and general wellbeing. Many students all over the country admit to feeling stressed out and under too much pressure, with some reporting recurring headaches and fatigue, especially over the last few weeks leading up to exams, when there are projects to be handed up, and twelve weeks of

students, it would be preferable to have a week’s break at Halloween and three at Christmas, instead of spending a whole month lounging around at home over the holidays, eating Mammy’s cooking, putting on weight and watching daytime TV (not that that’s not brilliant too). Another issue with exams is the debate that has been for years: that of whether or not exams are the right method for testing a person’s understanding of the curriculum. It has been argued extensively that exams don’t encourage the individual to grasp the coursework. Most modules involve some form of project or essay to be handed up, but there are still many modules where an overwhelming proportion of the marks hinge on the end-of-semester exam. Another problem is that there are too many subjects to study for, and not nearly enough time to get an in-depth understanding of all of them. Students are bombarded with facts, diagrams, and endless definitions. We are exposed to an enormous pool of information, but rarely are we ever taught how to remember this information correctly. It is entirely possible to learn off definitions, phrases and even whole

“According to quite a large number of students, it would be preferable to have a week’s break at Halloween and three at Christmas” lecture doodles to sort through, decipher and learn. Or, you know, download from Blackboard. Here in UCD, countless students feel that exam stress is more pronounced in the first semester than in the second. Semester One doesn’t even have a midterm break, which could be used to go over some of the coursework, or even to just catch up on some sleep. According to quite a large number of

Newman Fund S

tudents are invited to apply now for a grant from the Newman Fund. The Newman Fund is a sum of money which derives from ‘capitation’ funds coming to the Student Consultative Forum

and is administered by a committee of the Forum. It is designed to fund activities which are not organised by the recognised clubs and societies in the University.

ANY INDIVIDUAL OR GROUP OF STUDENTS MAY APPLY FOR FINANCIAL SUPPORT FOR THEIR PROJECT Recent successful applications have included: Law B&L Day European Architecture Students Assembly Geography Staff-Student Event UCD Community Musical Newman Peilfield Postgraduates Ball Newman Community Games

All applications or queries can be emailed to: Elizabeth.cronin@ucd.ie or sent to The Forum office, Student Centre, UCD.

paragraphs, while at the same time having very little comprehension of what they actually mean. If Leaving Cert Irish taught us anything, it was this nugget of wisdom. What most pupils and students are not taught is that there are actually two types of studying: shallow learning and deep

if you will; give your different facts characters and traits and behaviour models, then watch them play out during your exam. Just don’t forget to write it down after, otherwise you’re just that weird person who thinks atherosclerosis is akin to Clare County Council workers’ dodgy pothole filling after someone’s been and

“Deep learning involves more than rote repetition – you must aim to process the information and think deeply about its meaning” learning. Yes yes: as Jennifer Aniston once famously said, here comes the science part... As the name implies, shallow learning involves skimming over the meaning of the information, and learning off a series of words to regurgitate in the upcoming exam. Shallow learning is basically saying the item over and over, in the hope that it will be remembered. It’s handy for the aforementioned battle dates, but not much else unless you have background info for all the items on the list. Deep learning involves more than rote repetition – you must aim to process the information and think deeply about its meaning, and then elaborate on it. This means that the information has a much bigger chance of being stored in your long-term memory. Think of it as an information fantasy

damaged the road surface. And ok it doesn’t make the road narrower. per se, but you have to think in three dimensional terms and… oh, just write it down before you fall asleep in the RDS. Apart from using deep learning when you study, there are many other things you can do to make this exam season a little easier on yourself. The best advice anyone can offer you at this time of year is to start studying now. As well as that, avoid all-nighters at any cost, take short breaks during study sessions, and whatever you do, stay away from that hell-brew called coffee. Eat sensible breakfasts like Weetabix that release energy slowly throughout the day, lots of bananas (potassium is sometimes called ‘brain food’ for a reason), and don’t overdo your fruit juices. Good luck in the exams.

24.11.09

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

SCIENCE & HEALTH

science@universityobserver.ie

New light on Earth’s energy crisis

Caitríona Farrell reports on new solar energy techniques that borrow from Mother Nature’s own energy systems

hlorophyll? More like bore-ophyll.” Chlorophyll has come a long way since it was described by Adam Sandler in the 1995 movie

Billy Madison. Oh yes, this green puppy might soon be making an appearance in the B&Q catalogue, or even Homebase! No clue what I’m on about? Well read on my friend. There’s ongoing research into how viable and efficient it would be to use the green pigment, i.e. chlorophyll, in solar panels, and it’s good, really really good. A molecular electronics group at the University of Sydney, led by Professor Max Crossley, have investigated the possibility of adapting aspects of natural photosynthesis into a solar cell design. The researchers have developed a synthetic chlorophyll molecule in the design of the shape of a soccer ball, or – as it is known in the scientific world – a molecule of Buckminsterfullerene C60. The structure has a dendrimer scaffold, a highly branched nanosized polymer made of carbon, hydrogen and nitrogen. Attached to the dendrimer are synthetic versions of the light-harvesting pigment, porphyrin. Spherical carbon molecules are perched between the porphyrin and absorb electrons from the photons of collected light. A leaf is about 30-40 per cent efficient at converting light to electricity, in comparison with as little as 12 per cent efficiency for conventional silicon-based solar cells. “In the long term what we’re

trying to do is have something we can simply paint on a roof, like a thin layer”, explained Prof. Crossley. Barack Obama’s inauguration speech highlighted how even world leaders are supporting the development of cutting-edge technologies with the goal of finding a renewable energy. “We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil”, he said, “to fuel our cars and run our factories.” Ireland itself, renowned for being the Emerald Isle, is presently in dire need

of restoring its ‘greenness’. Our government, though, seems still to be crying over the spilled champagne of the Celtic Tiger’s extravagant soirées. Suffocated by financial matters and public services crises, we are forgetting more long-term issues such as the quest for clean energy. Faraway hills are green at the moment, and the Green Party could do with a boost of chlorophyll in Government buildings to wake up and realise once again the underpinning principles they had when they entered power two years ago. No other western country would be jade with envy of Ireland as a green country any more. The aim of reaching Ireland’s 2020 targets – of having 40 per cent of electricity generated through renewable sources – looks out of focus. Manipulating nature, and the science we currently understand, is the key answer to reaching these goals. It is still theoretically possible for Ireland to meet this goal if we put our minds to it. Solar energy is definitely the most abundant renewable energy source in our world. Extraordinarily, more light energy falls on the planet in one hour than is used by humans in one year. In the cruel light of day (pardon the pun), this statistic sheds light (sorry) on how we aren’t using our resources wisely enough.

Another exciting breakthrough is an electronic device that uses spinach to convert light into electrical charge, developed by US researchers. Zhang Shuguang and research collaborators at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have combined a protein complex extracted from spinach chloroplasts, with organic semiconductors, to make a solar cell that could be incorporated with solid state electronics. “Nature has been doing this for billions of years,” Zhang says, “but this is the first time we’ve been able to harness it.” With nanotechnology and the minimalist idea of ‘less is more’, thinner and lighter panels are paving the way to a more efficient design of a solar panel. Zhang’s team artificially stabilised the protein complex at the heart of their system, consisting of 14 protein subunits and hundreds of chlorophyll molecules, using synthetic peptides to bind small amounts of water to it, within a sealed unit. Photons then ‘excite’ coupled pairs of electrons within chlorophyll, causing an electron to transfer to a nearby receptor molecule. Plants use this transfer to complete photosynthesis. Zhang has fostered this principle into his device, feeding electrons into organic semiconductors aligned on top of a layer of glass. Zhang encountered difficulties with the use of organic materials in system. The protein complex is kept stable for about three weeks by the peptides, and the cells convert only twelve per cent of light to electrical charge. The solution seems to point towards layering numerous cells atop each other, so that a certain amount of light can pass through. Interestingly enough, in New Zealand other researchers are on a similar wavelength. Solar cell technology developed by Massey University’s Nanomateri-

als Research Centre will enable New Zealanders to create electricity from sunlight 90 per cent cheaper than the current silicon-based, photo-electric solar cells. Dr Wayne Campbell and researchers in the Centre have developed a prototype range of coloured dyes for use in dye-sensitised solar cells. These synthetic dyes are made from very basic organic compounds closely linked to those found in nature, such as chlorophyll and haemoglobin. They can also be effectively incorporated into tinted windows that trap light to generate electricity. The green solar cells are more environmentally friendly than silicon-based ones, as they are made from a chemical called titanium dioxide. This white mineral derived from New Zealand’s black sand is in an abundant supply, is renewable and non-toxic, and already has economic benefits used in such consumer products as toothpaste, white paints and cosmetics. Refining pure silicon is an energyconsuming task, and is quite expensive despite its plentiful supply. Another disadvantage of the silicon-based cells is that they require direct sunlight, whereas the green cells also work well in low diffuse light conditions. The Centre claim that they now have the most efficient porphyrin dye in the world, and aim to optimise and improve the cell construction and performance before developing the cells for the commercial market. The ultimate aim of using nanotechnology to develop a better solar cell is to convert as much sunlight to electricity as possible. There can surely be little doubt in this light (again, sorry) that the leaf itself is one of life’s most crucial structures.

Software Piracy: trouble on the high seas As over a million Xboxes are rendered obsolete after being modified to play counterfeit games, Sean Mc Kernan asks if the war on software piracy has gone too far On paper the debate over software piracy is a fairly black and white issue: stealing is wrong. But in practice the opposite is true with nearly ninety per cent of music, and practically all software in the developing world, being downloaded illegally. This illicit downloading costs the music industry approximately $10 billion, and the software industry $50 billion, every year. In response to the modification of over a million Xbox consoles, Microsoft last week decided to permanently ban all modified – or ‘chipped’ – consoles from using the Xbox Live online service, effectively making the consoles worthless. But are users wrong in using counterfeit software? Both the music and software industries have been fighting back against this in recent years but rates of software piracy are still very high in many parts of the world. Eighty per cent of software in China is illegal, while a third of programs used in Western Europe have been pirated. Never has it been so easy to illegally download either music or software. With less than five minutes searching on the internet, one could find the latest version of Windows or download a newly-released album. Very few of us could claim

“Torrents are an example of peer-to-peer file sharing and account for half of all internet traffic” to be completely innocent in this respect, with half the average music collection being acquired illegally. Most music or software is illegally transferred in one of two ways: either in person, using a CD or other storage device, or – more commonly – via torrent sites. Torrents are an example of peerto-peer file sharing and account for half of all internet traffic. Data stored on one computer can quickly be transferred to many others using any number of simple

programs that are freely available online. In the past, music was protected by only allowing it to be installed on a certain number of computers, but this became a problem if switching computers when music couldn’t be transferred over, and is believed to have caused many to switch to illegal downloads. Some modern games have been programmed to be playable only if their authenticity has been verified on the internet. Another more controversial method of preventing downloading of data is to monitor torrents, given that they are the main method of piracy. Organisations such as the Recording Industry Associa-

tion of America (RIAA) monitor internet traffic and have sued individuals guilty of serial copyright infringement. The UK and France have decided to take a more hardline approach, with persistent file sharers having their internet connections cut off entirely. Iran, on the other hand, has decided to make Western software copyright free. The issue of piracy has become a major political one in the last few years. Iran removed its copyright restrictions in retaliation for a trade dispute with the US. In the recent European Elections the Pirate Party gained one seat in the European Parliament, and will earn a second

when the Lisbon provisions come into effect. The party plan to lobby for reform of copyright ownership and intellectual property laws, and an Irish sister party is currently recruiting. It was easy to see both sides of the argument in this problem. Software developers want to make a profit from their hard work, and piracy is a considerable drain upon them. But people, on the other hand, are still interested by the word free. Why pay for software when it’s freely available on the internet? Until laws are reformed, the problem of copyright infringement will continue to exist.

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

24.11.09

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

SPORT

Haye Stacks up the wins With his win over Russian behemoth Nikolay Valuev, David Haye can finally revitalise a flagging heavyweight division, writes Richard Chambers

n the wake of his remarkable triumph over Nikolay Valuev, new WBA heavyweight champion David Haye will be eyeing the future with more than a degree of enthusiasm. The majority decision has changed the heavyweight division, marking the coming to the fore of a man with the energy and drive to become the undisputed world champion. The showdown with Valuev – a man seven stone heavier and eleven inches taller than Haye – was appropriately billed as “David vs Goliath”. The encounter with such an imposing figure as Valuev was the perfect platform to launch Haye to the forefront of the boxing world. A master of promotion, the “Hayemaker” used every available opportunity to antagonise his opponent. The underdog tag did not unsettle Haye, who presented a wonderful exhibition of the sweet science. Fighting with a broken right hand, earned in the second round, Haye displayed a tactical nous that his followers would not have been familiar with. The South Londoner engaged in a defensive effort, avoiding the massive fists of the Russian with deft grace before unleashing flurries late in each round. One such volley at the finale rocked the Russian, leaving him swaying

uneasily in an almost comedic style. If not for the bell, Valuev could well have befallen a knockout, an unthinkable outcome before the fight.

Becoming world champion is the realisation of a lifelong dream for Haye, one that has taken him through a successful amateur career and across weight divisions. Haye turned professional in 2002

as a cruiserweight, and armed with a combination of agility and power, quickly dispatched several talented boxers such as ‘King’ Arthur Williams and Lolenga Mock. An unsuccessful IBO title fight against veteran Carl Thompson handed Haye the only defeat of his career to date, but Haye rebounded with a series of quick victories before capturing the World Cruiserweight Championship in 2007. With four heavyweight belts tied up in the hands of the Klitschko brothers, the destiny of the heavyweight division is now in Haye’s hands. He will command gargantuan fees for his bouts, and his emergence will revitalise a tired division. Where does Haye go after this? A money-spinning domestic title defence against former Olympic champion Audley Harrison has been mentioned, but the ultimate objective must be the status of undisputed champion, a status that can only be achieved by defeating both of the towering, but ageing, Klitschkos. Whoever the opponent, the 29-yearold will undoubtedly draw crowds and box-office revenue. Haye himself has promised to retire by age 31. Whatever the conclusion, the next two years will rank amongst the most captivating in recent boxing history.

Kidney brings the edge Declan Kidney has now woven the mentality of his Munster teams into the psyche of the national side, writes Martin Scanlon The year 2009 will long be remembered as the year that Ireland ended its Grand Slam hoodoo. Such an achievement alone would normally satiate the appetite of the Irish rugby public, especially those capable of casting their minds back to the dismal days of the nineties when Ireland were perennial contenders for the Wooden Spoon. The country can justifiably hope that the successes of this year can be a watershed for the national team. This coming weekend sees Ireland face their final challenge in their attempt to record an unbeaten year. Victory against South Africa would confirm Ireland not only as genuine contenders for the World Cup in 2011 in terms of player potential, but also in terms of belief. The 2007 World Cup saw a sufficiently talented team - the ‘Golden Generation’ implode under the weight of expectation. The core of that side still remains – so is it reasonable to believe that this is any less likely in New Zealand? The appointment of Declan Kidney as head coach may be the final piece of the puzzle. Throughout his coaching career, one of Kidney’s defining aspects has been his ability to motivate and encourage his players. The first word that springs to mind when one thinks of his Munster teams is ‘resilience’. Would Munster’s Heineken Cup semi-final second half capitulation to Leinster have been so emphatic under Kidney’s guidance? The final twenty minutes in particular of the Irish performance against Australia were reminiscent of the same stubbornness that was evident in Munster; that same never-say-die attitude. Rocky Elsom’s try in the 62nd minute of the opening test in the autumn interna-

Kidney’s never-say-die attitude has transcended into the mindset of the Irish international squad and given it the belief it badly needed tionals would likely have battered the spirit of earlier Irish teams. In past games it is unlikely that Ireland would have been able to regroup after the television match official found Tommy Bowe had been held up trying to ground what would have been a late equaliser. The fact that Ireland were even in a position to claim a draw, when for the majority of the opening sixty minutes they were second best, only highlights this newfound belief. To many commentators, the World Cup of 2007 was to be the peak for this generation. The disappointment of that group stage exit combined with many previous grand slam failures under Eddie O’Sullivan should have been the death knell for that group of players, a view reinforced by Ireland’s mediocrity in the 2008 Six Nations. Kidney’s arrival, though, along with the emergence of some young talent has given a new lease of life into the squad. Kidney will be acutely aware of the

problems he will need to overcome if Ireland are to become world champions. Ireland’s scrum was again exposed by Australia and continues to be a major concern, while John Hayes will soon be collecting his pension book, and injuries will meanwhile have a much greater impact on a smaller nation like Ireland than on other countries with larger playing populations. However, Kidney in his quiet but assured manner will be working on a solution to these worries. The final minutes against Australia have shown that these failings need not be conclusive when the attitude is correct. Saturday’s encounter with South Africa will be a useful gauge of how far Ireland has come and how far they have yet to travel. Ireland must now establish themselves as being capable of beating southern hemisphere sides on a regular basis, home or away. Under the guidance of Kidney, this has finally become a realistic possibility.

‘Fearghal’ on Sport Vindicated following Springboks turmoil on the pitch, our resident columnist Fearghal Kerin finally gives up the search for a decent name to his fortnightly missive

Sometimes you have to cut your losses, celebrate your successes, and also be aware of your limitations. Sometimes when you wake up beside a beautiful woman, you should be proud of your achievement, but also know that it is what it is, and not embarrass yourself by asking for her number. The Republic of Ireland and the FAI have stark nakedly embarrassed themselves, in front of the world, trying in vain to get another date from their French temptress despite the world and his dog knowing it’s impossible. There was plenty to build on and plenty to be proud of - we were only a goal away from the World Cup, but it was Roy Keane who was one of the few Irishmen to be realistic in the wake of last week’s events. In criticising the Irish defence (of course) Keane was opening himself up to criticism, since it was the man Keane himself brought to the Premier League for £2.5 million – Paul McShane – that allowed Thierry Henry to ghost past him. What’s more, Keane appreciated that these things even themselves out over time. Were the Georgians looking for a replay after the ridiculous penalty decision at Croke Park that allowed Ireland to rob them with a late winner? Would Ireland have given them a replay? Not so likely. ~~ This column has long shown its mistrust of the Springboks, and admiration for Robbie Deans’ Wallabies. Hence, it was with some smugness that FOS saw Australia very nearly beat the champions of the Northern Hemisphere (I mean Ireland - a defeat to Scotland once in a while, let’s face it, means nothing), and to see South Africa have their crown so seriously rattled against France. In avoiding defeat against Australia and recording a facile victory over Fiji, Ireland have at least continued Declan Kidney’s extraordinary un-

beaten run. Much as I don’t rate the ’Boks, however, it will take a mammoth effort for Ireland to overcome them. The timing of the Autumn Internationals doesn’t seem to suit anybody. With the southern countries dying to get their extended summer season over, and the Six Nations teams having had such a long break, particularly in Lions years, it doesn’t make for a fair gauge of any team. Ireland did seem to be trying to play ‘sexy rugby’, as Ruud Gullit might have called it, against the Aussies, and by playing such a strong (!) team against Fiji, Ireland have had further opportunities to iron out the creases ahead of the ultimate test. Roll on this weekend: it’s time for my judgement of the ‘Boks to be put to the test once and for all. ~~ Back to the soccer. FOS avoided watching the second leg of the playoff in a pub, like most people, and instead booked a room in the Jackson Court Hotel to watch it there, saving myself the bother of queuing to get into Coppers in the rain later on in the night. When Keane’s goal was scored, the screaming and noise from all over the city was amazing. Horns blowing, cars beeping and sheer joy everywhere; it was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever witnessed. It only brings into clearer focus the disappointment of not actually making it to South Africa, when we could have had probably four or five of those days. Most readers of this newspaper are probably too young to have been going out to celebrate in 2002 for the last World Cup, just as I regret not being old enough to celebrate Offaly’s glory days in the 1990s. The taste of what a World Cup month would have been like, in those few seconds looking out over the city, is what leaves me most bitter of all. I don’t mind the despair; it’s the hope I can’t stand.

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

24.11.09

SPORT

sport@universityobserver.ie

Secret Diary of a Gaul Guy Killian Woods shares his tales of life in the world’s press boxes, following the Republic of Ireland on their eventful trip to Paris for the ill-fated second leg of their World Cup playoff

Sport Editor

ollowing the Irish soccer team as a reporter is a privileged job, and though it entails a lot of travelling, the rewards far outweigh the cons – especially when a campaign culminates in a win-orbust fixture at the Stade de France, packed with 81,000 people. Ireland’s playoff rollercoaster was filled with controversy and began just as it ended. This reporter’s journey following the Irish team in Paris began on the eve of the second playoff leg, in a theatre room at the Stade de France packed with national and international press. Ireland manager Giovanni Trapattoni was giving his final press address before facing off against World Cup finalists France. After the furore of the first leg and with the next day’s fixture in mind, Trap lined up alongside his interpreter Manuela Spinelli and Ireland captain Robbie Keane, trudging through the language barrier with his broken English to get his point across. Sitting amongst reporters from media outlets ranging from Sky Sports to The Irish Times, it was astonishing to think that a student newspaper like this one could be competing shoulder to shoulder with worldwide media outlets for a

precious comment from the veteran Irish coach and captain. After sharing his thoughts on the upcoming fixture, Trapattoni willingly fielded an array of questions, including his prospective team line-ups and experience of past situations. Listening to the former Italian manager can be frustrating at times: one can feel robbed, knowing that certain insightful analogies are lost in translation – though no matter what linguistic difficulties arise, a lesson is always there to be learnt. There is little time to sit back and reflect on the messages of Trapattoni to the media. Instead, time must be spent interpreting the coach’s colourful views into an article for the University Observer website. Come match day in Paris, the sporting tension becomes unbearable. The views emanating from L’Equipe feel that France could score countless goals against this Irish side. However, as game time grows closer and I arrive at the Stade de France, this opinion has faded. Munching on salmon rolls, sipping wine and eating sweet pastries before kick off in the French press box, I was streets away from the pre-packed sandwiches and coffee of Croke Park the previous weekend, where I had covered the first leg

of the playoff as well as Ireland’s draw with Australia the next day. On walking out to see the bright green pitch and cauldron-like shape of the Stade, the atmosphere hit me: a noise that was ten times louder than that of Croke Park. That said, the vibrant crowd soon dampened team spirits, as an inefficient French side drew jeers from the home supporters. As the game played out I took notes and constructed my match report to be posted on the Observer’s website. As a dedicated supporter of Ireland, it is difficult to balance the two jobs, and not find myself watching the match without typing a word. Following the game and that controversial French goal, a media scrum ensues for interviews, with Thierry Henry the top of everyone’s list for obvious reasons. Dejected Irish players leave their changing room in a hurry, wanting nothing to do with us media types after being understandably sickened by the manner of their defeat. After grabbing a short sound-bite of Henry’s thoughts after the game, I return upstairs to the press box and type up

STUDENT CAPITAL FUND

tudents are invited to apply now for a grant from the Student Capital Fund. The Capital Fund is a sum of money arising from surplus funds generated in the operation of a number of student facilities – particularly the student bars - and is administered by the Student

Consultative Forum. Applicants are not confined to recognised clubs or societies but grants are available strictly for capital projects and not for current funding. (Applications for funding for current expenditure may be considered by the Newman Fund).

Recent succes sful applications have included: Furniture for the student area in the Agriculture Building Equipment for Sports Clubs Replacement computers for student media Disability access facilities All applications or queries can be emailed to:

Elizabeth.cronin@ucd.ie or sent by post to the Forum office, Student Centre, UCD, to arrive not later than Friday, 29 January 2010, 5pm.

my match report as the groundsmen dismantle the soccer goal frames on the pitch, and set about installing the rugby equivalents for France’s weekend game with Samoa. At 3am, I leave the press box to return to my hotel, as the floodlights of the

Stade de France flicker off, one by one, bringing an end to a memorable night. My afternoon flight will see me miss Trapattoni’s press conference, but a UCD hockey match looms on the horizon and life goes on. All in a day’s work.

Sports Digest Soccer UCD senior captain Ronan Finn has been named the Professional Footballers’ Association of Ireland (PFAI) Player of the Year for his outstanding form throughout the college team’s promotion and title-winning season. The award could not have gone to a more worthy player, as the influential midfielder was an ever-present performer in a UCD side that pivoted around the 21-year-old midfielder’s play. Finn was also included in the PFAI First Division team of the year, along with defenders Evan McMillan and Brian Shorthall. These awards are the cherry on top for UCD’s title-winning players and a recognition from their fellow professionals of their creditable form throughout the season.

final against the hosts. With a place at the EVA Student Cup in Leeds up for grabs, UCD battled their way to the final with wins over Cork IT, University of Ulster Jordanstown (UUJ) and UCC’s second team. UCD’s impressive opening victories showed their intent in the competition, with the win against the strong Ulster outfit by 26-24 particularly striking. The two teams’ paths crossed twice en route to the final, as they faced off in the semi-finals where UCD won the tie-break break 15-6, paving the way to the final against UCC. Unfortunately UCD could not overcome the Cork side and for the second time of the weekend the Belfield side were overpowered by last year’s winners.

Tetrathlon UCD won their third straight tetrathlon intervarsity title in Kells, Co. Meath, at an event hosted by Dublin City University. The competition is a rigorous test of stamina and endurance which entails competing in four different codes, namely running, shooting, swimming and horse riding. The competition got under way with shooting, where UCD’s Luke McMullan and Britt Cassiday placed fourth and sixth respectively. The running event followed, with UCD representatives Philip Conway winning in the men’s division, and Kate Coleman second in the female category. Coleman continued her success when completing an impressive eleven lengths in three minutes, placing first in the women’s swimming event. The final segment of the competition was showjumping, in which Thomas Hayes, Ed Flaherty and Luke McMullan all jumped clear rounds with Marie Léoutre also jumping clear in a good time. UCD pipped Trinity College to first place, as the first team of Luke McMullan, Kate Coleman, Thomas Downey and Sophie Dillon lifted the trophy.

Squash UCD Squash Club had a successful day at the annual Colours match against Trinity College on Saturday. The men’s team, comprised of Joe Breheny, Niall Hurley (pictured), Fergal Fields, Tariq Zaki and Danny McInerney, all won their respective games to secure a comprehensive 5-0 victory over Trinity and take home the Colours trophy for the second successive year. The ladies team, captained by Megan Oliver, was less fortunate, losing out to a strong performance from the Trinity ladies on the day.

Ladies’ Volleyball University College Cork (UCC) hosted the 2009 All-Ireland Volleyball Intervarsities, with UCD’s ladies team suffering heartbreak in the

24.11.09

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

SPORT

sport@universityobserver.ie

Fighting for Ireland The absence of Stephen Ireland from the international fold, writes Gavan Reilly, is not a traitorous choice but a professional one

ne can only image what it must be like to grow up in a sports-mad city like Cork, showing a prodigious talent for soccer, and having the surname Ireland. Presumably life consists of being constantly barraged by smart remarks that ‘Ireland could play for Ireland’. Perhaps a lifetime’s exposure to such petty comparisons might eventually diminish any desire to represent that country at the highest level. Such is the case of the much-maligned Stephen Ireland, the brightest light in a young and emerging Republic of Ireland team – that is, until September 2007. Ireland’s self-imposed exile from the national squad, which began when he faked the death of both his grandmothers so that he could visit his girlfriend after a miscarriage, has evoked a mini-Saipan of sorts amongst the Irish public: has the Manchester City star been rejected by his country, or is the midfielder letting his country down by declining to serve it? In a revealing interview last week, Ireland put paid to some of the longstanding rumours regarding his relationship with his international manager, and with his country. “I never enjoyed my time playing for Ireland… I don’t feel guilty watching them play without me. If they lose I

won’t feel it was my fault. If they win, I won’t ever wish I could be there. I have a good life.” Asked about the persistent rumours that slagging over his’s premature baldness, which he had attempted to cover up with a weave, was another reason the midfielder might be reluctant to return to the international fold, Ireland was quick to dismiss the rumours. “All that stuff is ridiculous. Robbie Keane contacted me saying, ‘A lot of us are getting bad press, getting slated, because all these stories are coming out’. But I had a great relationship with the players. Even now I have all their numbers.” With the last fortnight being so charged from a sporting perspective, as national teams took on and beat (morally, at least) the world’s best in both soccer and rugby, it might be difficult to comprehend how any Irishman would want not to be involved on the biggest stages. We would do well, though, to divorce ourselves from the talk of defeating South Africa – or, for that matter, qualifying to be there next summer – and try to have a degree of empathy for Stephen Ireland’s case. As a professional sportsman, Ireland’s sense of nationality will differ from those of regular folk. While serving one’s country is a privilege

for any sportsman, when money becomes a factor – and international call-ups are largely a chance for an extra payday – that privilege can only be devalued. In their world, Stephen Ireland isn’t an enemy of the state; he’s merely prioritising his options. It might be easy to moan that with the talents of a player like Ireland, the national side would now be preparing for the World Cup. Certainly, the argument holds water. But what difference is there between Ireland and the likes of Wayne Rooney who choose to disregard Irish heritage and play for other countries? Ireland should not fight over Stephen Ireland, but accept his decision and stop haranguing him for his professional choices.

The Badger

Despite persisntent rumours that The Badger is actually Roy Keane, he can assure you that he is far, far worse. Thierry Henry is a God.

Last Wednesday evening’s moment of ‘Sacré Bleu’ drew even the most sullen Irish football fan, stuck in their cocoon from 2002 or perhaps even 1990, back to life. ‘Cheat’, ‘coward’, ‘scum’ and even the F word – ‘French’ – are all terms that Irish fans have been using in the last week to brand Thierry Henry as a player who deserves no respect. In the off chance that you’re a hermit with no contact with the outside world, or happen to be one of those people who had your house washed away during the Great Flood of 2009, the Badger will update you on what occurred. From a free kick just inside the French half, Florent Malouda hit a ball long into the Irish penalty box. With the ball gracefully penetrating the air and flying into the Irish penalty box it appeared as if it might have gone straight out for an Irish goal kick, and put down as yet another mishit French pass. In the onside sector between Irish defenders and goalkeeper, the French player from the France region of France (as opposed to Guadeloupe), Thierry Henry, majestically guided the ball with an extension of his lower, lower shoulder to keep the ball in play. He then, perfectly legally, hit the ball across the face of goal for William Gallas to tap it into the back of the Irish net. This goal sparked huge uproar from Irish players and management alike as they protested that Henry had actually used the

lower, lower, lower, lower extension of his shoulder, which under FIFA’s ‘Fools’ Guide to Anatomy: Edition IV’, classifies as the “hand”. Now sometimes the Badger can be accused of being a bit conservative and argumentative, but in this situation, it is the Badger’s opinion that Irish fans should really get over the entire situation. They should be happy that bigger nations are going to the World Cup instead of Ireland, and be pleased with being allowed play football with prestigious players like Henry and Sébastien Squillaci. The Badger is also sick of all the hate being sent FIFA’s way over the situation. So in an attempt to resolve the fragile relationship between our small insignificant nation and FIFA, the Badger has written an email. To: ScrewIreland@FIFA.com Cc: Michel.Platini@UEFA.eu My name is The Badger. I am not actually a badger. I am writing to you in relation to the France v Ireland World Cup Qualifying Playoff fixture. In the aforementioned game, an incident occurred which made Irish people act very angrily towards French football captain Thierry Henry for an alleged use of the lower, lower, lower, lower extension of his shoulder to keep the ball in play. The Badger is sure you have been lambasted with a multitude of letters, messages and petitions to have

the fixture replayed, and commends you for not buckling under the pressure asserted. It is The Badger’s opinion that Irish people should be happy that a more marketable and better team are going to the World Cup next summer. The Badger also feels that Irish teams and other equivalent small nations should be ordered roll over for, per se, bigger nations in the future. Though your system of not allowing small teams into your prestigious competition is efficient, there are some flawed aspects. The Badger recommends a revised form of the seeding system under the following specifications: In this new method for UEFA World Cup Qualifying, there will only be two pots, the first of which containing 13 teams, the other containing 40. The teams in pot one will be pre-determined and consist of Spain, England, Portugal, France, Italy, Germany, Netherlands, Russia, Serbia, the Czech Republic, Sweden, Turkey and Switzerland. Teams in pot one and two will never be subject to change. Every four years, one month before the World Cup finals, football officials will draw from pot one, 13 teams. The teams drawn will automatically qualify for the World Cup and claim all thirteen UEFA spots at the World Cup. I trust some premium tickets will be forthcoming for my advice. Yours sincerely, The Badger

Irish performance gives hope for future Avoiding the controversial incidents of last week’s World Cup playoff, Ryan Mackenzie focuses on the positive outlook for this Irish side

The controversial goal assisted by Thierry Henry’s ‘Main de Dieu’ cannot detract from Ireland’s spectacular performance at the Stade de France Last Wednesday night the world watched on as one of football’s most highly respected stars stole World Cup qualification from an Irish side that had outplayed their opponents and deserved a place in South Africa next summer. A double handball by French captain Thierry Henry was unfortunately missed by Swedish referee Martin Hansson. After days of Irish appeal, it’s clear that a replay between the sides will not take place, due largely to stern opposition from both FIFA and the French Football Federation, so the topic has drawn to a close. The terrific – and for most Irish fans, moving – performance by Ireland can now be appreciated without the overshadowing controversy. Prior to the contest in Stade de France, Giovanni Trapattoni’s men could do little to avoid scrutiny from Irish fans, who had become deeply disillusioned and embittered by their team’s failure to emulate the great and swashbuckling Irish sides of the past. It seemed to many that Ireland’s participation in the 2002 World Cup marked the end of what was undoubtedly a golden era. However, the spectacle last Wednesday evening has revitalised Irish football. Despite the initial overwhelming sense of disappointment felt by Irish players and fans alike, the unexpected brilliance of the boys in green has returned a pride in our team. Prior to kick-off, it seemed highly improbable for Ireland to achieve the daunting task of even scoring a goal against a side who still rank amongst the world’s best. It wasn’t long before those doubts began to dissolve, however, as Ireland looked impressive from the start. Ireland proved to be up to the challenge of the Stade de France crowd, and

in the 33rd minute Robbie Keane made the breakthrough, coolly slotting away a wonderful pass by Damien Duff from eight yards out to level the tie at 1-1 on aggregate. The response of the players and the devout Irish fans who made the trip to Paris, represented the sentiments of the whole nation – pure ecstasy. As the match progressed, it appeared as though a historic result was possible. Trapattoni did not hold his team back to simply retain what they had achieved. Instead they surged forward creating numerous goal opportunities, silencing the French crowd who looked on in disbelief as their team were made to look second best. While evidently exhausted as the match progressed into extra time, the heroic Irishmen continued to give heart and soul for their country. It was this combination of superiority and passion that made the nature of Henry’s shameful handball, and our ensuing departure from the World Cup, even more painfully hard to bear. Despite the obvious disappointment of being denied a momentous and deserved victory that would have sent us to just our fourth World Cup, it is important to focus on the positives of such a performance. For the first time since our last World Cup appearance in 2002, our national side has demonstrated an ability to compete with the best in world football. We can now look forward to a realistic chance of making the trip to Eastern Europe for Euro 2012 with a rejuvenated team, an established manager and a nation of supporters. Long may it continue.

“As the match progressed, it appeared as though a historic result was possible. Trapattoni did not hold his team back to simply retain what they had achieved”

THE UNIVERSITY OBSERVER

24.11.09

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sport@universityobserver.ie

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UCD overcome Queen’s in quarter final UCD 1-11 Queen’s 1-04 UCD progressed to the semi-finals of the Fresher’s Cup last Wednesday with a strong win over Queen’s, reports Patrick Guiney

CD’s first year footballers overcame a determined challenge from Queen’s University Belfast on a blustery Wednesday afternoon last week, in the quarter final of the Fresher’s Cup. On home ground, however, the UCD side had a very difficult time subduing this physical Queen’s outfit. With the elements against them and playing into the wind in the first half, UCD managed to outplay their opponents in the opening quarter, deservedly striking first in the eighth minute through the boot of Kingston, who slotted over from the edge of the twenty metre line. This gave the home side momentum as they quickly put Queen’s on the back foot. A well-taken, long range effort by midfielder John Helsin soared over the bar and exemplified their superiority. UCD were playing free-flowing football and along with the vocal encouragement from coach Billy Sheehan, made the match very entertaining to watch for the crowd who had braved the weather to cheer the team on. UCD early on quashed any worries of being physically outmatched by Queen’s, as on many occasions in the game they tackled aggressively but fairly. Carl Diaz and Conor Carty won their aerial battles early on, performing excellently in the half-back line and looking a formidable duo in the primitive stages of the game. Four more points were added to the scoreboard by an array of players including corner forward Niall Kilroy and midfielder David Larkin, the latter navigating a tricky free kick over the bar after another defensive mistake from Queen’s. As the first quarter ended Queen’s finally moved up a gear and registered their first point of the match. This began a closely fought affair, as the visitors rattled over three more points in quick succession. The atmosphere and tenacity spilled

over to the crowd as a passionate UCD supporter exchanged words with the linesman over a poor decision. All of sudden for the first time in this match, the home side began to drop their heads and let their rivals take a costly lead. The hosts’ defence, spearheaded by captain Ciarán Lenehan, had been near perfect for the first half, but a rare mistake by Alan Carr led to Queen’s netting the first goal of the game. Queen’s had narrowed the gap to two points and by half time Sheehan had some stern words for his players. Unfortunately the beginning of the second half did not go according to plan for Sheehan’s team, who quickly found themselves with ground to cover. After a period of confusion in the UCD defence, and a lack of communication between the midfield pair, the team had their backs to the wall. Thankfully for the hosts, a Queen’s penalty drew a brilliant save from goalkeeper Richard Farrell who was giving an outstanding performance between the posts. The drive of the team to win at this stage was evident throughout with Sheehan firing orders from the sidelines. Some newfound skill and aggression from UCD paid off, rewarded with a well-deserved goal neatly slotted home by Heslin after some questionable defending from a free kick by Eanna Tiernan. As both teams began to yearn for the final whistle to provide refuge from the inclement weather, Sheehan freshened his side, introducing five substitutes in the last fifteen minutes. The decision paid dividends, as all five made a big impact on the game and ensured UCD stayed on course for victory. The hosts slowly took the game beyond Queen’s with a string of unanswered points from their late introductions, and the final whistle was met with a chorus of celebration from the players.

UCD coach Billy Sheehan will be pleased with his side’s determination. Photo: Seán Bonner

Sheehan, a former Laois senior player, will have been impressed with his team’s performance so far in this lively knockout competition, having seen his side previously defeat two strong outfits in DIT and DCU. Captain Ciarán Lenehan commented afterward that “overall the game was good… but the penalty saved by Farrell pushed the team on.” This game was

a very positive sign of things to come for Sheehan’s men, who are looking more like champions with every passing game. UCD: Richard Farrell; Alan Carr, Ciarán Lenehan (captain), Michael Furlong; Stuart Nerney, Carl Diaz, Conor Carty; John Heslin, Michael O’Regan; David Larkin, Peter O’Hara, Eanna Tiernan; Niall Kilroy, Donal Kingston, Lorcan Smith

UCD control game to overcome Fingal UCD’s men’s hockey team dominated large spells of their encounter against Fingal and ended deserving winners, writes Killian Woods UCD men’s hockey team took on Fingal at the National Hockey Stadium in Belfield last Saturday, looking to extend their unbeaten run to three games. Taking on a Fingal side coming off the back of two successive losses, UCD were anxious to push themselves above their opponents in the table with a win. The home side opened the game in prudent fashion, fighting for possession in the middle of the pitch as Fingal struggled to judge the pace of the game. UCD’s

Karl Smyth carved open chances to send the play down the flanks, with interplay between himself and Tim Hill particularly promising. Only a lack of cutting edge in the final pass of College’s play prevented them from opening the scoring on numerous occasions. The breakthrough eventually came for UCD on 17, after good play from David Quinn won a penalty corner and set up John McInroy to slot home. UCD nearly extended their lead soon

afterwards; McInroy again racing towards goal only to be closed down by the opposing keeper. Fingal scored very early in the second period through Tom Manning, to peg back the students at 1-1. However, this sparked the home side into playing more clinically in their build-up, and creating more chances. Robbie McFarlane and John Brennan began to run at the Fingal defence causing confusion in their backline. In the 50th

UCD 2 Fingal HC 1 minute, UCD stepped up a gear yet again and their pressure lead to two successive penalty strokes. After an initial block, the second attempt was slotted home by Tim Hill who gave UCD the lead for the second time. UCD were now completely controlling the game and frustratingly squandered a series of chances to extend their lead. The home team sensed that another goal could finish off a lacklustre Fingal side, and through McInroy, kept the

pressure on the visitors right up until the last few minutes. However, with the last play of the game, Fingal won a penalty stroke, totally against the run of play. UCD keeper Ross Gribben saved Fingal’s last-minute effort, though, to see College deservedly extend their unbeaten run. UCD: Ross Gribben, Hugh Butler, Tim Hill, Ronan Moryer, John McInroy, David Quinn, Ronan Flannery, Karl Smyth, Tadhg Walsh-Peelo, Ben Grogan, Jamie Tobin.