R U OK?™ at the University of Iowa is sponsored by the University of Iowa Employee Assistance Program (UI EAP). All R U OK? materials are owned and developed by R U OK? Australia™ and have been adapted for use at the University of Iowa with permission. R U OK?™ is a registered trademark of R U OK? Australia Limited.
Over the past two weeks, have you noticed two or more of the below?
How are you doing?
Helpthemopenupbyaskingquestionslike“Howareyoudoing?”or “What’sbeenhappening?”or“I’venoticedthatyou’renotquiteyourself lately.Iseverythingokay?”
Makeanobservation.Mentionspecificthingsthathavemadeyou concernedforthem,like“I’venoticedthatyouseemreallytiredrecently.” or“Youseemlesschattythanusual.Howareyoudoing?”
From time to time, we can all be faced with strong reactions from our colleagues, particularly if we’re supporting someone who is struggling.
Here are some things you can do to minimize awkwardness and reduce the pressure in these situations:
If someone is visibility hostile you can respond with, “I see that this is upsetting. Can we start at the beginning and just tell me what you think would be helpful?”
If someone begins to cry, sit quietly and allow them to cry. Lowering your eyes can minimize their discomfort. You could add, “I’m going to sit here with you and when you’re ready, we can keep talking.”
