An independent, nonprofit, public service student press covering the University of British Columbia community since 1918.
The Ubyssey MARCH 19, 2026
VOLUME CVII | ISSUE XV
SINCE 1918
Nardwuar the Human Serviette
doot doola doot-does things his way Profile by Elena Massing and Julian Coyle Forst Features editor, Arts & Culture Editor When we spoke with Nardwuar the Human Serviette in the CiTR record library, we thought we were on a tight timeline. He had come to the station to broadcast a special episode of his show, Nardwuar The Human Serviette Presents…, for CiTR’s annual fundrive, and he’d need a few hours to get ready. We had set up cameras, laptops and dubiously functional lav mics on every available surface of the packed library, ready for a quick in-and-out interview. Nardwuar doesn’t think that way. After a whirlwind tour of record shelves and drawers filled with cassette tapes (“Very rare,” he assured us), Nardwuar helped us fix up our recording setup. “This is one of the number-one mistakes of people doing interviews,” he said. “They never ask the people they’re interviewing if they can help them.” Since starting out at CiTR in 1986, Nardwuar the Human Serviette has become a household name. | GUNTAS KAUR / THE UBYSSEY
Published in Vancouver, British Columbia, on the traditional, ancestral and stolen territories of the Coast Salish peoples including the xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh Úxwumixw (Squamish) and səlilwətaɬ (TsleilWaututh) nations.
Majumder and He refuse to be one-hit wonders The look-alike contest’s appeal could lie in the amusing act of imitation itself, or, more likely, in a desire for community.
FEATURES // 2
The Fugitives make folk feel like home Part of me wishes I could be objective and neutral about this band; the other part of me knows that I never could be.
CULTURE // 6
Continued on page 8.
AMS ELECTIONS RESULTS
Dominant Huskies oust T-Birds in quarterfinal At nationals, despite being the No. 4 seed, UBC was given the toughest draw of the tournament, the 21–1 defending champion Huskies. They didn’t stand a chance.
SPORTS & RECREATION // 12 Editor’s Note by Stephen Kosar News Editor COURTESY CHRIS LINDSEY / CALGARY
Third quarter collapse eliminates UBC in Final 8 Game Analysis by Ian Cooper Sports Reporter Heading into halftime, the UBC Thunderbirds were on cloud nine, leading by 18 against the Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) Bold. Coming into the U Sports Final 8 off a loss in the Canada West finals, the ‘Birds knew they would be fighting an uphill battle as the seventh seed. Facing off against TMU — the second seed — the stakes were high for a group that featured multiple seniors who had yet to win a national title in their careers. Unfortunately for the ‘Birds, TMU’s Kevin Toth had other plans. Toth, a second-year guard, had not scored a point before the final frame when, seemingly out of nowhere, he scored 21 points, nearly matching his career-high of 22 in 10 minutes. Similar to Klay Thompson’s iconic 37-point quarter, it was obvious that when the ball left Toth’s fingertips, he was not going to miss. His spectacular seven of eight shooting performance in the frame secured TMU’s spectacular comeback win, taking the game 97–91 after trailing by as many as 20. The ‘Birds spirit was crushed.
Continued on page 11.
With 21.5 per cent turnout — one of the highest in recent memory — voters passed three referendums, shot down one and elected students to be their representatives in this year’s AMS elections. Next year, Dylan Evans will be the AMS’s president, Jaiya Panchi will be VP academic & university affairs, Nathan Shack will be VP finance, William Sparks will be VP administra-
tion, Alex Zheng will be VP external affairs and the VP student life has yet to be decided. For the Board of Governors, students elected Zarifa Nawar and Drédyn Fontana. For Senate, Panchi, Nawar, Fontana, Jasper Lorien and Sultana Razia have been elected. Voters put their trust in these students to represent them at all levels of government. The AMS advocates for students, operates the Nest and runs valuable services such as the food bank and the health and dental plan. The Board of Gov-
ernors determines UBC’s overall direction, authorizes tuition increases and approves the university’s budget. Senate shapes students’ academic experiences, sets academic standards and determines degree requirements. Whether you directly interact with these governing bodies or not, they play an undeniable role in your university’s life. The people you have elected will be your voice on these bodies. It will be up to you to hold them accountable. Continued on page 3.
Point of Inquiry:
Canada’s wild salmon conservation policy UBC researchers reviewed the Wild Salmon Policy’s impact on salmon populations, considering rising environmental impacts and new risks.
RESEARCH // 14
I said the AMS was fine. I take it back. Opinion by Quyen Schroeder AMS Columnist At the start of the year, I wrote a now-infamous line: “The toxic culture of years prior has been excised from our union.” I was wrong. The most public evidence of this is the conflicting accounts about the VP student life position given to The Ubyssey by AMS President Riley Huntley and an unnamed executive.
(The executive spoke to The Ubyssey’s news team on background because they weren’t authorized to speak on the matter.) Less publicly, we’ve seen a multi-week absence from Huntley. His temporary departure was preceded by a private, in camera meeting of the Executive Performance and Accountability (EPA) Committee on Jan. 24.
Continued on page 7.
UBC or UBSauced? There’s nothing worse than those rowdy drinking underage firstyear party folk. Never fear, we’ve got an alternative: put down the beer and read on for our choice special sober bev. SENEESHA EKANAYAKE / THE UBYSSEY
HUMOUR // 16