Issue 33 August

LEGAL MATTERS CORNER

MIRIAM MC GILLICUDDY ANSWERS YOUR LEGAL QUERIES

BEING A DIRECTOR OF YOUR LOCAL CHARITABLE COMPANY.

Gary is involved with his local community centre. All his children play sports there and the centre provides valuable services to his local community and enhances his lifestyle in the area. He has been asked to become a director of the limited company running the centre and he is wondering what this would entail.

The Companies Act 2014 sets out statutory duties/responsibilities of directors. They include acting in good faith in the best interests of the company and to act honestly and responsibly in the conduct of the affairs of the company. To follow the company constitution and act legally. Not to use the company property, information or opportunities for their own benefit or anyone else’s. That is unless approved by the company e.g. they won a contract to do some work in the community centre. But they would need to remove themselves from the decision making on that contract. Not to act in a biased or prejudiced manner but to exercise independent judgement. To avoid any conflict between their directors duties and personal interests. E.g. promoting a friend for a position in the Community Centre. To exercise care, skill and diligence on a reasonable person standard bearing in mind any special skill and qualifications they may have. Also to be mindful of the interests of the company’s paid employees. The Companies Registration Office has set out 6 things directors needs to know

1. Every company, whether trading or not, must file an annual return at the CRO not later than 28 days from its statutory annual return date (ARD).

2. The annual return should include financial statements.

3. There are fines for late filing of this documentation

4. The companies office will liaise with the company at its registered office so this address must to correct.

5. Changes of directors and change of address of the company’s office can be filed free with the CRO.

6. It is the responsibility of each director to ensure that his or her company is not in breach of the Companies Act.

While at first the duties and responsibilities may seem onerous it is an honour to be chosen as a director of one’s local community centre. It is a position of responsibility and trust. Many of these centres would have charitable status and under the new Charity regulation regime they have put in place templates and reporting mechanisms to ensure that these charities often largely run by volunteers along with some paid staff are run correctly.

Annual accounting mechanisms and financial reports can ensure that these companies do not abuse their finances and really at the end of the day it is important for directors to make sure the books balance at the end of the year and there is not outlandish spending and a tight control is kept on finances for the betterment of the centre and the community as a whole. Suitable accounting and legal advice should be obtained to make sure the Company is staying on track and satisfying its statutory compliance.

Lawquip: “Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are asking, what’s in it for me?” -Brian Tracy, Entrepreneur and Author

If you have a legal query or need further information on any item addressed in this column please send in your query to mirs@gofree.indigo.ie Miriam McGillycuddy, Solicitor, Derryana, Ballyard, Tralee, County Kerry. LL:066-7181596/Mob: 0872604753

Credit Union Survey shows Back to School debt increasing for parents

Over a quarter (27%) of Irish parents are getting into debt to cover the costs of back to school. While this figure is down from 36% in 2019, the average debt parents find themselves in has increased by €40 from €357 to €397. This is not surprising as back to school costs continue to rise for parents, with the overall spend on school items for primary school students at €1,123, up €174 from last year. In secondary schools’ parents average spend is €1,467, up €68 on last year. The top expense this year for parents of primary school children is after school care at an average of €200 up from €117 in 2019. For second level parents the biggest expense is books at €196 down from €220 last year.

Over two thirds (69%) of Irish parents pay for their children’s back to school supplies from their general monthly income with 20% using their credit card, up from 13% in 2019.

The use of savings has grown from 27% to 34%, 6% take a credit union loan, down from 9%, with those turning to moneylenders remaining at 3%.

Cutting back on family holidays is still one of the biggest sacrifices that families make to cover back to school costs at 34%, with a quarter cutting back on summer camps. 64% have had to deny their children extracurricular activities with 38% cancelling school trips to help fund back to schools costs.

Commenting on this year’s findings, Paul Bailey, ILCU Head of Communications said; “Of concern from the survey results is the amount of debt that parents are getting into to cover back to school costs with an average debt increase of €40 compared to last year. While the majority of parents fund back to school purchases from their general household income, the use of credit cards has increased from last

year. I would encourage these parents to explore cheaper forms of finance such as a credit union loan.It remains to be seen if schools will reopen fully in September and this brings a number of challenges for parents in trying to manage home schooling and to balance work and child care commitments. Our survey shows a substantial number of parents are concerned that

they don’t have the necessary resources for home schooling, including adequate broadband, in the event of schools remaining fully or partially closed. I would encourage any parent concerned about the costs of home schooling or back to school costs to contact their local credit union to see how they can help.”

CHURCHILL DOG SHOW

Mark, Orla and Evie Kane with their dogs Lola and LJ at the

“SNAPPED ON SOCIAL MEDIA”

We pick out some great photos posted on social media each week ...if you have any good ones please send them in... email traleeadvertiser@gmail.com or message us on our Facebook page... Enjoy !

FAMILY FUNFAIR HARRIERS ATHLETIC CLUB DAN SPRING ROAD, TRALEE

Sat 15th to Sun 30th August OPEN: 12pm to 8pm daily

• All Staff have completed COVID-19 Induction training and have obtained compliance certificates

• Using Computer Aided Design, the layout plan has been extensively revised to facilitate physical distancing

Our new HIGH STANDARDS of COVID-19 SAFETY PROTOCOLS

• To facilitate enhanced physical distancing, two uniquely distinct Zones have been created to separate the Family friendly attractions from the thrill rides

• Clear COVID-19 signage and hand sanitizing stations will be present on arrival and throughout the fun fair

• All the attractions will have designated Entrances and Exits with sanitizing stations

• Already aggressive cleaning and disinfection procedures will be increased and high touch points will be frequently sanitised

• Queuing may be necessary as the number of guests attending the fun fair will be dramatically limited to facilitate physical distancing

Govt Minister Norma Foley Welcomes New Stem/Agri-Tech Building for IT Tralee.

Minister for Education and Kerry TD Norma Foley this week welcomes the announcement from the Department of Further and Higher Education, Research, Innovation and Science to construct a new 9,000 square metre building to accommodate the STEM School of IT Tralee, including Agri-Tech facilities as part of a wider announcement which includes extensions for 11 educational institutions nationally to create space for 8,000 additional students

The project which will immediately go to tender is being delivered under Project Ireland 2040, which recognises that investment in education is central to achieving a strong, future-proofed economy, balanced across the regions, and a just society in which all citizens are enabled to fulfil their potential.

Padraig is bringing this all the way to the top... and he’s reporting from the grassroots!

“They say write about what you know and I am sending this to the Board of the FAI. I have had the pleasure of being involved in administration of the game I love for many years - I know some might have issues with me but that’s life. The decision to stop spectators going to games must be challenged. Volunteers all over the country have spent hours and lots of money getting venues ready for the return to play. They have done everything that has been asked of them - sanitising stations, contact tracing, social distancing etc. And today’s Government was a slap in the face to all those volunteers.

The underage game is my main area but I am also a member of Killarney Celtic and privileged to work in the soccer media in Kerry.

In the last two weeks the club hosted two huge games in an FAI Junior Cup quarter final and an FAI Youths Cup semifinal.

I was then in Bishopstown for the Kerry 15’s v Cork in the National League. And then I was working on a number of games in Mounthawk Park. At all games the limits of 200 plus were adhered to as were ALL the protocols. Each team had no more than

50 supporters at the game. So now these people are somehow being blamed for the spike in the Covid numbers. And don’t anyone spout the rubbish of crowds gathering on the way to and from the game. It’s 100 divided between both clubs.

Or is it the players or coach’s or stadium staff that are being blamed?

Because NEPHET, the Minister and the Taoiseach must believe one of these groups is at fault as they have now banned all spectators from games. To avoid having players travelling in busses which also must be socially distanced - no issues with that - parents have been driving their children to games.

Now thanks to Stephen Donnelly and Micheal Martin these parents must sit outside the grounds where there son or daughter is playing with the 13’s or 15’s Kerry League of Ireland sides or the 1000’s of other teams set to play this weekend.

How in anyone’s mind is that right?

I am only speaking about soccer because that’s my sport. It is no different for GAA or rugby parents.

And how about this for a situation that these people have imposed on us with no justificationThis Sunday the Youths teams

of Killarney Celtic and Douglas Hall from Cork will line out in Mounthawk Park in Tralee for the FAI Youths Cup Final. This is only the 4th time a Kerry side has reached the final so this game is the biggest one in the lives of these players and the biggest many will ever play in. Outside of the squads and other essential personal at the game each club would have gotten 50 tickets.

I am sure Douglas shall would have done the same but what Celtic did is give 2 to every player for their family and any few left would go to club stalwarts.

This opportunity has now been away from them parents. How can any politician stand over denying a mother or father the opportunity to see their son play in an FAI Youths Cup final?

And it’s not about this game only. It’s just this is a high profile game.

There are hundreds of games set to be played all over the country where parents are now excluded.

I hope those with the power can start lobbying hard to get this terrible decision overturned. They still have time to do this before most of the games take place on Saturday and Sunday. And where are our TD’s from the Governments three parties

or from the opposition? Are they happy to sit back and let this happen.

All they have to do is declare all stadiums as Controlled Environments and allow things continue as they were before today’s ill thought out announcement.” Padraig Harnett ...Sports reporter for The Tralee Advertiser

Old Irish Bank Notes Stamp Collections | Old Coins WANTED

The Harp and Lion, Church St, Listowel Tue- Sat: 12 - 4pm or e-mail: keith.harbour@yahoo.com

Tralee Town Board Senior Championship Draw

Here is the draw for the first round of Roddy O’Donnell Senior Championship, Sponsored by Lee Strand,

John Mitchels V Kerins O’Rahillys Ballymacelligott V Austin Stacks.

Dates and times will be made available later on advice from the Co. Board, depending on how their games go. The executive of the Town Board wishes all the best to all teams and members in these difficult times. Tim Lynch PRO.

Fenit RNLI Lifeboat attends late night callout near Ballyheigue Beach.

The volunteer crew of Fenit RNLI responded with full efficiency to partake in the search for unidentified items near the coast off Ballyheigue Beach last week following a call by concerned member of the public.

Both the Fenit All Weather Lifeboat with a full crew and it’s Inshore Lifeboat launched at approximately 10.30pm. The crew arrived at the area and a search was conducted. Following a search of the area the item was found to be the remains of a fishing item and all parties were naturally relieved.

The call was a call with good intention and the lifeboat is very clear that this is absolutely the correct course of action should anyone ever have concern in relation to safety at sea. Both crews returned to Fenit Pier at

approximately 12.20am that morning.

The Fenit RNLI Lifeboat has had a very busy week, with this being the seventh call out in as many days. The previous call outs ranged from being called to assist surfers potentially in danger, towing a number of vessels back safely to various harbours in North and West Kerry, assisting a large vessel which ran aground, providing a safety escort for a number of swimmers who carried out a fundraising event for Fenit RNLI last Saturday morning. On all occasions any people in possible danger were returned to port safely.

All RNLI Lifeboat voluntary crews are extremely cognisant particularly at this time of year and with the recent spell of good weather that more people are attending beaches and using the water.

Beach Artwork in Ballybunion!

Lifeboat Operations Manager, would like to take this opportunity to remind people to be as safe as possible and to be as prepared as possible when going to sea and if there is ever any doubt whatsoever about any persons safety to

either dial 999 or 112 and ask for the coastguard.

For more advice on how to float and other water safety advice visit RespectTheWater. com

WHAT’S HAPPENING IN TRALEE

Photos by John Cleary

: Mathóna Morrissey, Firies, and her dad Seamus Morrissey, geared up for the

ABOVE: Donal Prendergast, Killorglin, and his family presented the Chairman KHF Joe Hennebery with a cheque for 2,725 EURO proceedsof a head and beard shave, chest & back wax, for the Kerry Hospice Foundation, back left Dara Prendergast, (His son) Mary Prendergast, (mother) Shandra Prendergast (His Wife), Mary Shanahan Sec KHF, Becky Prendergast (Daughter) and Lisa Prendergast, (sister).

in pictures!

ABOVE: Raymond McMahon, Listowel, on his Monkey Bike 50 CC taking part in the Honda 50 run to West Kerry on Sunday last, in aid of the Kerry Hospice Foundation, Maura Sullivan Treasure KHF, and Donal O’Riordan, Camp, security van leading the Honda 50 convoy.

: Andrea O’Donohue, PRO KHF and on right

Greaney, presented the Chairman pf the Kerry Hospice Foundation Joe Hennebery and Mary Shanahan Sec KHF with a cheque for 9300 EURO proceeds of a Virtual Run.

Microsuction Ear Wax Removal

Symptoms of ear wax buildup:

• Itchy Ears

• Tinnitus (Ringing in the ears)

• Dizziness

• Earache

• Hearing Loss

Don’t wait weeks. Microsuction ear wax removal is a safe and non-invasive procedure, suitable for most people including hearing aid users.

Invest in the quality of your life Giving

Space, Fresh air and great Coffee at the Lakeside Cafe, in the Wetlands

The timing may have been intercepted a little bit , as the Lakeside Cafe was taken over in February by Jonathan Collins (who’s father John owns Ballyroe Hotel ) but that only made Jonathan all the more determined to ensure this foodie destination at the Tralee Wetlands comes to the fore . “ It was a fantastic initiative by Tralee Town Council in 2012 says Jonathan . And it really helps cement Tralee’s reputation as a family destination “ Would you believe there are over 5o free car parking spaces here as well as a huge play area , . We see a lot of young families here as the play area and

space is what they’re after ...and of course, the fact that we can feed people all day long which keeps Jonathans 8 staff very busy “ We open at 10 for breakfast and serve hot food (Brunch and lunch )til 2pm , such as ‘The Works ‘ which is an all day breakfast or how about Eggs Avacado or Mushrooms and toast . Then from 2-5pm all sort of sweet delights take over such as cakes , pastries , brownies and more as well as Gourmet coffee and a selection of teas. There is another little secret to this perfect location (apart from being the only cafe beside the water in Tralee !) and that is its

Birds Euroshow welcome Govt clarification On Covid-19 Guidelines

lovely flat circular walk which measures about half a km in length. “This is getting so so popular “ says Jonthan ...” We had over 20000 walkers here during lockdown in April alone ...its very popular with older people as there are no hills , its nice and flat , and also with people walking their dogs “ We are delighted with July and August as this location suits what people need right now , Space and Fresh Air and the Wetlands has a host of activities on offer for all ages ...So well worth a visit and open 7 days , and don’t forget to mention the Free parking say Jonathan , once again !

BIRDS Euroshow welcome the confirmation from the Department of Arts, Heritage and Gaeltacht Affairs that outdoor arts events in venues which allow for a controlled environment where social distancing can be ensured can proceed on the basis of existing limits.Attendances are limited to 200 people at the family funfair which opened at Dan Spring Road, Tralee on Saturday 15th August.HSE-approved sanitation and social distancing measures are being implemented to ensure the safety of staff and visitors.Birds have permission to operate under Phase 3 of the Government’s Reopening Plan, under the Cultural and Religious heading, which was announced in June.Birds Euroshow Family Funfair is open 12pm to 8pm daily until Sunday 30th August at Harriers Athletics Club, Dan Spring Road, Tralee.Management understand that procedures are subject to change due to the evolving nature of Covid-19 and the company will continue to follow Government guidelines.

Ciao! ...Laura

is a winner at SFORNO!

Laura and Sean Crowley enjoy a delicious Italian meal and evening at Tralee’s newest Restaurant SFORNO in Edward St . Laura was the winner of SFORNO’s first competition when they opened a few weeks ago .

What a sunset in Camp this week!

Rebecca Sh tt Beauty

HELLO EVERYONE!

Hope you’re all having a great week.

Since I talked all things skincare last week, this week I’m going to be talking about my current haircare routine.

This week I want to talk about my go to face for work. I love sleep and don’t like getting up early so getting ready quickly is essential! I know a lot of people are back working so I thought this might be helpful!

STEP 1

Cleanse & moisturize face - I never skip this step. Throughout the night you’re tossing and turning and sweating which is blocking those pores. Cleansing your face in the morning to ensure it’s clean & ready for the day ahead is key.

STEP 2

After my moisturizer I go straight in with one of the Clarins SOS Primers (the fatigue or radiance ones are my favorites). These primers really brighten & awaken my skin.

STEP

3

Foundation - after I clean and dampen my beauty blender I go in with the Too Faced Born This Way Foundation.

STEP

4

I set with my Laura Mercier Translucent Powder, Bronze with the Urban Decay Beached Bronzer & Highlight with the Anastasia Beverly Hills X Amrezy Highlighter. I then use my Milani Luminoso Blush.

STEP

5

Brows: The darkest brown shade in the SoSu X Keilidh Urban Bible Palette has been my go to for my brows!

STEP

6

Eyes - Usually I just use a light brown shadow to define the eyes, a pop of mascara & then if I wanna feel glam I use my Stila Magnificent Metals Kitten Karma Glitter - which takes two seconds and makes you look like you made a way more effort.

STEP 7

I set everything using my Morphe Setting Spray (if I accidentally skip this step my makeup honestly does not feel right)

STEP

8

Lips - Either a red lip (Kylie Cosmetics Red Velvet) or my Urban Decay lip liner & some Fenty gloss and I’m good to go!

I know for some people that might seem like a lot, to others it might seem like nothing, but I honestly zoom through it in 10-15 mins and I’m good to go.

TOP TIP: A red lip makes everything look more glam!

BEXBLAHFITNESS!

Hello strong people!

I

hope you’re all having an amazing week.

Recenty I’ve been waking up a lot earlier, usually 8am..

When you think about it, being healthy, fit, going to to gym and improving your nutrition are all elements of self improvement. And I want to implement every method of self improvement that I can, because being healthy isn’t just about the physical but also the mental.

You can be as physically healthy as you want but if you’re not as healthy mentally, you’re not living to your full potential!

This year I’ve been reading more, through reading more books and articles, I’ve become engrossed in improving myself fully. The brain is a muscle too you know!

Anyway, back to getting up early.

I read last year that the most successful people in the world all share the same trait - they get up early. And by getting up early I mean EARLY - all before 8am. Most between the hours of 5 and 7am.

Some studies show that 90% of executives wake up before 6am on weekdays and nearly 50% of self-

made millionaires wake up at least three hours before their workday actually begins.

Why get up early?

• It gives more time for things like having a proper morning routine, journalling, goal setting, answering emails and… working out! All before ‘most people’ ever get up at all. Getting a head start on the day before distractions and obligations arise.

• Attacking the day on your own terms first thing gives a sense of control. By getting up early though, these people are not losing sleep they are going to bed earlier and all get 6-8hrs a night.

• Willpower is highest in the morning which leads to better decision making.

If you wanna keep up with me on social media, you can find me on

After 22 weeks away, Laurens back!

“We are back and we were so delighted to welcome all our lovely members back to Slimming World in St John’s Parish Centre Tralee.” says a delighted Lauren Fitzell of Laurens Slimming World who operates her hugely successful groups in both Dingle and Tralee Lauren’s social team did an amazing job last Saturday morning in Tralee to ensure all safety measures were adhered to .” I would really like to thank them for their time and patience...they are amazing , both to me and to all our clients “ says Lauren “Members were so happy to be back in the room to learn, laugh and most importantly fall back in love with the plan after being away for some time. It was an emotional morning seeing my members face to face after 22 weeks away from them and not seeing them on a computer screen as we had been running zoom sessions every week throughout the lockdown. “

“Some of the transformations were incredible I even handed out a 5 stone award on the morning.. That’s dedication right there..!”

Our groups are now being booked through a booking app to ensure we only have 30 max members on the room at the one time to ensure social distancing guidelines are being followed.

If you would like to join Laurens Slimming World on Saturdays ....(or Thursday mornings in Dingle ) please visit Www.picktime.com/laurenfitzell to book your slot. or why not give Lauren a call directly (086-0528303 )...she’d only be delighted to hear from you!

wi Silka! Physio Advice

Why is Stretching so Important? “I am tight”

are three words I regularly hear in conversation with people that come to my Clinic for help and have little to no everyday activities in common. Their pain and discomfort is the great equaliser.

Even if you’re lucky and haven’t experienced pain, chances are you know what tightness feels like.

There are many personal reasons to want a more exible body compared to a tight one.

Some of the primary health reasons are:

1. More ROM (range of motion) which means you can move with more freedom, less sti ness and use less energy to do the movent.

2. Increase your synovial uid to lubricate your joints.

3. Increase blood and nutrients to the joints to keep them healthy.

4. Improve balance and posture.

5. All the above helps prevent the degenerative joint process and reduces sti ness.

Stretching is essential and does a lot to keep our posture in shape and functional. We all need to stretch to protect our mobility and independence.

A lot of people don't understand that stretching has to happen regularly. It should be daily.

10 min is all it takes to keep your posture engaged.

For some doing an easy stretching Routine before bed is good and for others, rst thing in the morning works better. The main thing is to do it daily.

However, to Stretch alone is not an in-depth treatment for a long-standing condition. It is more than likely that it may not be enough to treat issues that cause pain or tightness.

If this is the case for you, call me to investigate the problem you experience in-depth, otherwise, stand assured, that a little daily stretching goes a long way in keeping you moving healthily for a long time.

TRALEE ADVERTISER

HEALTHY RECIPES

“Everybody

knows its name... Chicken Teriyaki“

Teriyaki sauce is really your basic Asian marinade or seasoning and It is said that the history of teriyaki sauce can be traced back to early Japanese immigrants who settled in Hawaii. While you can buy teriyaki sauce in your local supermarket , it’s so easy to make and you can play around with the recipe to your liking. The beauty of this sauce is that it holds in the fridge for weeks.

CHICKEN TERIYAKI erves 4

INGREDIENTS

• 125g chicken stock

• 25g soy sauce

• 30g sugar

• 2 tablespoons mirin

• 2 tablespoons sake

• Four chicken breasts, lightly pounded or thighs

• Salt

• Freshly ground pepper

• 2 tablespoons oil

• 2 large peppers, cut into 1/2-inch strips

• Steamed short-grain rice, for serving

METHOD

In a medium saucepan, combine the chicken stock with the soy sauce, sugar, mirin and sake and bring to a boil over high heat, stirring to dissolve the sugar. Reduce the heat to moderate and simmer until the teriyaki sauce is reduced to 1/2 cup and syrupy, about 20 minutes. Meanwhile, season the chicken with salt and pepper. In a large frying pan , heat 1 tablespoon of the oil. Add the chicken and cook over moderately high heat, turning once, until browned all over and cooked through, 8 to 9 minutes. Transfer the chicken to a plate and let stand for 5 minutes. Wipe out the pan. Add the remaining 1 tablespoon of oil and heat until shimmering. Add the pepper strips and cook over high heat, stirring occasionally, until crisp-tender and lightly charred, about 3 minutes. Transfer the peppers to plates. Slice the chicken breasts crosswise and transfer to the plates. Drizzle the teriyaki sauce over the chicken and serve with rice.

Let me know if you enjoyed them and we will continue our healthy eating next week and remember to send your quetions to: askchefnoel@hotmail.com

Recipes by

LAUGHTER ....THE BEST MEDICINE

A TEACHER, A GARBAGE COLLECTOR, AND A LAWYER WOUND UP TOGETHER AT THE PEARLY GATES.

St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it.”

The teacher answered quickly, “That would be the Titanic.” St. Peter let him through the gate.

St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn’t REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: “How many people died on the ship?”

Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, “about 1,500.” “That’s right! You may enter.”

St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. “Name them.”

DO YOU EVER WAKE UP, KISS THE PERSON SLEEPING BESIDE YOU, AND BE GLAD THAT YOU ARE ALIVE?

I did and apparently will not be allowed on this airline again..

WHY FEMALES SHOULD AVOID A GIRLS NIGHT OUT AFTER THEY ARE MARRIED...

The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’ I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’ Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went

down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quickwitted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

(Even when totally smashed.... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him ‘MIDNIGHT’... he didn’t seem annoyed in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said ‘We need a new cuckoo clock.’

When I asked him why, he said, ‘Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said ‘oh sh1t.’ Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

PRESENCE OF MIND HELPS

In a store in US, a man asked for 1/2 kg of butter. The salesperson, a young boy, said that only 1kg packs were available in the Store, but the man insisted on buying only 1/2 kg.

So the boy went inside to the manager’s room and said “An idiot outside wants to buy only 1/2 kg of butter”.

To his surprise, the customer was standing right behind him. So the boy added immediately, “And this gentleman wants to buy the other half”.

After the customer left, the manager said “You have saved your position by being clever enough at the right time. Where do you come from?”

To this the boy said, “I come from Brazil. The place consists of only ladies of the night and football players!”

The manager replied coldly, “My wife is also from Brazil!!”. To this the boy asked excitedly, “Oh yeah? Which team does she play for?

ADVERTISINGADVERTISER SPORT!

SCANDALOUS DECISION NOT BASED ON HEALTH GUIDELINES:

Like all those involved in sport I was angered with the decision made by the Government to ban all supporters from going to games. Having been to games in Killarney Celtic, Mounthawk Park and Bishopstown in Cork everything was done properly and the work done by all the volunteers with signing, sanitising stations and contact tracing was very evident.

So the decision to ban the 40 odd fans from each side is baffling. And it was even more baffling when one sees the letter sent by Dr Glynn and NPHET to the Minister yesterday. The letter which is on the Government website ‘called on all relevant organisations to ensure current guidelines are strictly adhered to’ – and they put it in bold letters not me!! So how did this advice change from respecting the current guidelines to banning fans once the topic got to the Cabinet table? And Dr Glynn did speak last night on issues about gathering outside of games but didn’t say what I quoted above or give any evidence of what issues are happening outside of game. And remember that the guidelines were 200 in total allowed in which included everyone involved in the game. Just as an example the Kerry u15 side played Cork City in the League of Ireland last Sunday. To avoid all 20 plus the coaches travelling in a bus the parents drove, watched the game and drove home straight away afterwards. Now that’s gone. Can we really ask parents to drive two hours to a game, wait in the car or try and look over the wall and then drive their son or daughter home? There a countless more examples in how wrong this decision is and maybe by the time this goes to print it will be reversed. If not then the repercussions on mental health, on player drop out etc are only beginning and the Government party TD’s that don’t come out and condemn the banning of fans will know who everyone feels the next time they come to the door.

THERE’S SWIMMING AND THEN SWIMMING!!

With the wonderful waters around the bay being very busy over the last few weeks and with the great work being done by the Tralee Bay Swimming Club many people enjoy their time in the water.

But like all sports you then have the elite who complete feats the rest of us can only marvel at. One of these in the swimming world is Elaine Burrows Dillane who we have featured on a number of occasions including her swimming of the English channel.

Well Elaine has been in the water again recently a bit closer to home but completing a swim no less daunting. The Fastnet to Baltimore swim is approximately 23km and is rated in the top 15 of the most difficult swims in the world. She completed the swim in 7 hours and 45 minutes.

One of the things having someone at this level of a sport does is that it increases media attention which can lead to an increase in participation.

Who knows what is next for this intrepid long distance open water swimmer but no doubt she has her next target in mind and like all of our elite sports persons Tralee is very proud of Elaine’s accomplishments in the water.

TRALEE CONNECTION TO PORSCHE

CUP PODIUM:

Sean Moriarty of Kerry Motorsport News was in touch to tell us of Lorcan Hanifan’s

maiden podium in the Porsche Carerra Cup GB when he took third at the weekend in Brands Hatch. Lorcan has lots of connections with Tralee and I am sure all his relations were following his progress and delighted to see him on the podium and move up to fourth in the Championship standings. The next round is in Oulton Park on September 22nd and 23RD.

Staying with Motorsport: Killarney’s Paul Nagle was on the notes for Craig Breen in the European Rally Championship round in Latvia where they finished 5th in their Team MRF Tyres Hyundai i20 R5. Closer to home and well done to all involved in the Spa/Fenit Community Council’s Heritage Day Road Run with over 70 cars taking part. With no rallying for so long a number of drivers wheeled out their cars for the first time since Novembers Historic Rally.

KERRY PLAYER AND IRISH TEAMMATES JUST MISS OUT:

Tralee brothers and top basketball players Sean and Tim Pollmann-Daamen were in action with Ireland in the u17 men’s basketball FIBA Skills Challenge 2020. They put in a great effort but came up just short against Portugal in the final phase of the European qualifying round last Sunday. The boys in green posted a time of 139 seconds and with Tim on 2 points and Sean on 1 in Ireland’s 13 point haul this gave them a total of 126. But Portugal completed the course of skills challenges in 132 seconds and crucially had 20 points to take the win on 112. Ireland finished top of Group A with wins over Israel, Belarus and Poland and a loss to Slovakia before going out to Portugal. However coach Paul Kelliher was very happy with his sides display over the week.

The Irish u17 women coached by Kerry’s Tommy O’Mahony and with Paris McCarthy in the side won three of their four qualifiers but cruelly missed out on count-back as three sides each had three wins.

WEEKEND ACTION AT THE TRACK:

The action at the Kingdom Greyhound Stadium is on Saturday and Sunday night with no racing on Friday night. On Saturday night the first of 10 races is off at 7.43pm with all the action from Shelbourne Park and the second rounds of the Boylesports Irish Derby on the television screens.

On Sunday night the there is an 8 race card with the action starting at 6.38pm.

HITTING THE RIGHT NOTES ON THE GOLF COURSE:

While they can’t perform live due to the Covid restrictions some of the countries top rock starts were playing live on the golf course. Members of The Corona’s and Walking on Cars played the Tralee Golf Course this week with Marc O’Shea joining the group.

MAINE VALLEY GOLF CLUB:

Firstly thanks to the people at Kerry’s newest golf club for sending in their notes for this week. We are delighted to give you a mention, as we are for all clubs who want to contact us.

This week at the Maine Valley the highlight was the Holmpatrick Cup Qualifier played as a fourball. The top three who have qualified for the Munster Finals in Dungarvan on September 20th are: Niall Gilroy and Pat Ruane who won the qualifier with 45 points, followed by Kevin McNamara and Dennis Bird who were second on 44 points just ahead of Mike Ashe and Mick Duffy who also

finished on 44 points.

ALAN’S THE MAN AT THE TRALEE PITCH AND PUTT 2020 CLUB MATCHPLAY:

The Tralee Pitch and Putt Club Matchplay saw some great games including the final which saw Alan Hobbart defeating Pa Fitzgibbon on the final hole to take the Cup. He becomes the first place since Mikey Sugrue in 1988 to win both the Matchplay and Strokeplay in the same year.

In the quarter finals Pa Fitzgibbon was a 4 & 2 winner over Keith O’Brien while Alan Hobbert saw off Tim Scannell on the 17TH and then he went on to beat Paul O’Shea to reach the final. Hobbert saw off Rodger Guthrie in the final four. Pa Fitzgibbon was the favourite going into the final having 6 shots on Hobbert but it was the latter who started the better and he was 2 up after 6 holes. But by the 16th the players were tied. Fitzgibbon won the 16th but Hobbart tied things up on the 17th as the excitement was at fever pitch with the 18th to play.

Fitzgibbon finished with his 3 but Hobbert had a 9 foot putt to win the Cup and he showed great coolness to roll it in for the winning birdie. All the players were very complimentary on the standard of the course and praised the greens staff for the job they are doing.

In other Pitch & Putt news The Irish Open took place in Lough Owel Mullingar but defending champion Deerpark’s Damien Fleming was unable to take part.

Castleisland’s Aidan O’Connor was 27th while John Fitzgerald was 8th overall in the Over 55 section.

Tonight, Friday night, places to join Damien Fleming at the National Men’s Matchplay will be up for grabs. 4 will be selected from the 24 players entered with play underway from 6.30pm.

The National u16 Strokeplay was due to take place in Athgarvan, Co Kildare last weekend but was obviously called off and has been provisionally re-fixed for Saturday September 12th.

The Kerry u16 Matchplay Championships will take place in Tralee on August 29th with entry forms with the clubs.

The National Adult Strokeplay Qualifiers are fixed for Newmarket the following day on Sunday August 30th.

TRALEE TOWN BOARD NEWS:

Tralee Town Board PRO Tim Lynch has been onto us with the first round draw for the Roddy O’Donnell Senior Championship sponsored by Lee Strand. With dates and times to be sorted, depending on how the Co. Board games go, the games will see John Mitchels taking on Kerins O’Rahillys and Ballymacelligott going up against Austin Stacks.

PARNELLS NEWS:

There was great joy in the club this week with the victory of the Intermediate team who defeated Ardfert 1-25 to 2-10 in the ¼ final of the Championship.

The u6’s are enjoying their Friday night sessions and the future is certainly bright with the talent these players are showing.

The u14 Girls camogie team showed that they are a team to be watched as they got their League campaign off to a winning start by defeating Abbeydorney/ Kilmoyley/Lixnaw in Crotta. While Parnells travelled with a depleted squad they were bolstered by some very capable u12’s and backboned by some of the more experienced girls they proved too strong for their North Kerry opponents. This was an especially strong performance in defence but the Tralee

girls played well all over the field and scored freely to run out easy winners. The Boys under 14’s will begin Phase 2 of their League this Saturday August 22nd. In the first round of the Championship the u16 Boys lost out to South Kerry 6-11 to 4-05 in a game where a number of starters were unavailable. A number of the u14’s were called in and acquitted themselves very well. They will now go into the Plate section with a game due to be played next Thursday August 27th. The Parnells Minor team will play Ballyheigue in the quarter final of their Hurling Championship this Sunday at 12noon.

AUSTIN STACKS NEWS

Anyone who would still like to donate to the fundraiser that saw 100km walked on the Bracker O’Regan Road can still do so. The u6’s, u8’s and u10’s train as normal on Sunday while the u8’s and u10’s were also in action in mid-week when Churchill were the visitors in a rearranged friendly. The u12’s welcomed Ballymac for the first round of games in Division 2 of the Lee Strand County League. An early goal from Jack Carmody set the Black and Amber on their way but by the half they were only 1 point ahead 1-02 to 0-04. Aodhan Horgan got a second to see the Tralee boys 6 points up with 10 minutes to play. But the visitors hit three late goals to take a smash and grab win 2-05 to 3-06.

The B’s followed up their good win against Na Gaeil with a great display against Ballymac which they blitzed in the first half. This weekend both sides will be at home to Na Gaeil with Team B back from their mid-season break to take on Laune Rangers in Killorglin.

The u14’s saw off Ballymac to end Phase 1 while the B’s had no game as they have completed their Phase 1. They will continue to train in mid-week as do the u16’s.

KERINS O’RAHILLYS NEWS

If you are not one of the lucky ones to get a ticket for County Championship game against the Legion then tune in to RTE this Sunday at 3.45pm as the game is being streamed live.

In the Credit Union Junior League Dingle ran out easy winners over the clubs side. In the Minor team there was much better news as the side defeated Currow 2-12 to 0-10.

There was also a number of players on the St Brendan’s County Championship side who will play South Kerry in the semi-final on Monday August 24th in Killorglin.

The u8’s welcomed St Pat’s Blennerville to Ballyrickard and had a great day

The u12 Girls are enjoying their County League outings and were in action against John Mitchels in mid-week. They just lost out to Churchill earlier in the week 2-07 to 2-04.

The u14 Girls were big winners over Scartaglin while the u16 girls saw off Moyvane. The minors play Dingle/ Annascaul tonight Friday might. The Senior Ladies had a great win over Beale/ Ballyduff.

In the Academy St Pats were the visitors for a great morning of games. The u12 boys A and B teams went down to Moyvane. The u14’s went down to neighbours Na Gaeil 5-10 to 5-12 in a cracker. The u16’s are due to play Douglas in a friendly this weekend. There was no winner of the Lotto from the numbers drawn 1,4,17 and 30.

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STAYCATION ROADS ARE A CHALLENGE !

I’ve driven thousands of kilometres throughout the country this staycation summer - north, south, east and west.Let me say, I have been enraptured by parts of this island we call home. I value it now more than ever.Yes, it rained sometimes and everywhere the darkness of the virus crisis loomed large. But my overriding memories are joyful.Except for a couple that concerned me from a motoring perspective.The first was the state of some secondary roads. If they were in the Dublin, there would be uproar.I think there has been a gradual - but steady -deterioration of surface condition on many roads.Yes, some were remote if you are talking from a city perspective but they were in, near or en route to popular destinations in west Cork, Mayo, Offaly.Some looked, and felt, like they hadn’t been touched for a long time. I’d be discouraged if I had to use them every day. I know upkeep is costly and those responsible have to prioritise but surely roads are an investment in getting tourists (home-grown and foreign) to areas of interest?Several were terribly uneven and raw. I don’t think you can make excuses for them being like that. Investment is badly needed by our new Government.Combined with that, I was a bit shocked by the volume of larger vehicles using some truly narrow roadsespecially lorries.I take my hat off to the drivers. I would find it daunting to have to negotiate those twisty, narrow routes.I found myself fearfully pulling over or slowing to a crawl many times, such was the proximity to the big vehicles and my fear of a collision.The fact is that I (and many of us) have become accustomed to motorways and B-road national routes with near-flawless surfaces.The reality is different for many, who have to endure second-rate roads all year round - despite paying as much tax as the privileged rest of us.

* Skoda’s first electric SUV is making its world premiere on September 1 next.I’ve already driven and reviewed pre-production, disguised models of the ENYAQ iV here.Which means a lot of attention will be focused on the design when the car is formally unveiled.They are saying the front is the most dramatic visual aspect.We’ll wait and see but they have teased us with a concept preview .The 5-seater electric crossover is expected to arrive here in February or March next.However, that depends on how Covid-19 affects production and supply.The new car slots between the current Karoq and the larger Kodiaq SUVs.Prices similar to the Kodiaq family have been mentioned.

The Proace City, Toyota’s latest commercial range, has gone on sale here.Prices for the van (above) start from €15,038 ex-VAT.There are two wheelbase lengths and two individual front seats.Diesel powertrains, from 75h

CAR ADVICE WITH HONEST JOHN – YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED

ARE THERE ANY AFFORDABLE TO RUN, FUN CARS YOU CAN RECOMMEND?

Do you have any suggestions for an affordable to run car with more than five cylinders? Otherwise, I have to go down the boring car route to replace my 2005 Volkswagen Golf GT? I’m tall, ruling out some sportscars. I just fancy something that burbles for once in my life before petrol and diesel cars are banned. Fuel and insurance aren’t a problem. Don’t mind paying more initially if the depreciation, servicing and maintenance is low cost. KEVIN

HJ says

Generally, the more cylinders, the more a car will cost to run. If you want something that sounds good and you’re not too concerned about fuel bills, consider a Ford Mustang with the 5.0-litre V8 engine. It’ll sound incredible and won’t lose a huge amount of value in the short term.

LET US SPRAY

The rear nearside passenger door of my 2004 Rover 75 1.8 Connoisseur auto will only open from the outside. Do you have any ideas? My local garage suggests a sensor. PW

HJ....It’s likely to be the lock servo. If you can open the door and find a grommet in the lock face of the door, take it out and use the extended nozzle of a can of WD40 to spray the lock servo and hopefully drive out any moisture that might be causing it to stick.

Dear Heart of Jesus in the past I have asked for many favours, this time I ask you this special one (mention favour). Take it dear Heart of Jesus and place it within your Heart where your Father sees it, then in his merciful eyes it will become your favour not mine. Amen. Say this prayer three times for three days and your favour will be granted. Never known to fail. Must promise publication of prayer. K.O.C.

O Glorious St. Therese, whom Almighty God has raised up to aid and inspire the human family, I implore your Miraculous Intercession. You are so powerful in obtaining every need of body and spirit from the Heart of God. Holy Mother Church proclaims you “Prodigy of Miracles.. the greatest saint of Modern Times.” Now I fervently beseech you to answer my petition (mention in silence here) and to carry out your promises of spending heaven doing good on earth... of letting fall from Heaven a Shower of Roses. Little Flower, give me your childlike faith, to see the Face of God in the people and experiences of my life, and to love God with full confidence. St. Therese, my Carmelite Sister, I will fulfill your plea “to be made known everywhere”and I will continue to lead others to Jesus through you. Amen. K.O.C.

Dear Heart of Jesus in the past I have asked for

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