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CONTENTS 8

December 2010/January 2011 4

Introduction

On the Cover

Parent Perspective: The Joy of Chores

ANY WHERE YOU SEE BALLOONS IN THIS issue, THERE IS A CONTEST TO ENTER! GO AHEAD, ENTER THEM ALL!

Compiled by Elaine Rooker Jack

12 With Eyes Wide Open By Laura Clark

16 Family Dynamics: The MacDonald Family

Read This Special Online-Only Story@

By Lisa Hurt Kozarovich

20 Finding Peace By Nadyne Lee

www.todaysfamilymag.com Get Your Children Volunteering!

24 The Spirit of Giving By Stacie L. Martin

26 Love, Responsibility and a Pile of Bricks By David Stephens

28 Things to Do Beautiful Baby Contest Driving the Message Home: Warn Your Children About Drunk Driving

32 Time Out with Gwen Beard By Elaine Rooker Jack

SENIOR graphic Designer

PUBLISHER

Cathy S. Zion

publisher@todayspublications.com EDITOR

Anita Oldham

editor@todayspublications.com ASSISTANT EDITOR

Elaine Rooker Jack

elaine@todayspublications.com EDITORIAL ASSISTANT

Jennifer Thompson

April H. Allman

april@todayspublications.com

Volume 20 • Number 1

photographer

Melissa Donald

Published bi-monthly by:

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Zion Publications LLC 9750 Ormsby Station Road, Suite 307 Louisville, KY 40223 Phone (502) 327-8855 • Fax (502) 327-8861 www.todaysfamilymag.com

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COVER PHOTOGRAPHY

Chet White

Today’s Family magazine is published bi-monthly by Zion Publications LLC and distributed free to the people of metropolitan Louisville and Southern Indiana. Circulation 33,000. The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of the publisher. Today’s Family magazine does not endorse or guarantee any advertiser’s product or service.

Copyright 2010 by Zion Publications LLC with all rights reserved. Reproduction or use of editorial or graphic content in any manner is prohibited without permission from Zion Publications LLC. Louisville, Inc., Metro Chamber of 2 0 1 0 / J a n u a r MEMBER y 2 0 Greater 1 1 Commerce, Area Chambers of Commerce, Better Business Bureau.

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L Y

Staffsays

Share a story about responsibility.

INTRODUCTION BY ANITA OLDHAM

Editor, Today’s Family

Take Responsibility, Please

have days when I wish someone else would make the decision, enforce the punishment, fight the battle to move my child forward in a positive manner.

Cathy’s Dad shared some good advice. At 11 years old, I was anxious to earn my own money so I began babysitting for our neighbor’s three small children. At the first sign of fighting among the children, I became overwhelmed and called home for help. My Dad came over, got matters under control, and sat me down. He shared this poem with me that I repeat to myself almost daily: “If a task is once begun, never leave it ‘til it’s done. Be the wages great or small, do it well or not at all.” Great advice at any age. — Cathy Zion, publisher of Today’s Family

Fitness is Power? I like the mantra: Fitness is Power. I am trying to teach my children that we need to take responsibility for our movements and our health – making an effort every day to move and get stronger. If they are fit, they will be able to think better, get homework done faster, play any sport more competitively, and feel more self-confident. I haven’t exactly sold my 13 year old on this. He still works hard to try to fit in as many computer games as possible. I will keep fighting. (I hope he reads this.)

Guess what? No one is going to take that responsibility. As parents we are stuck with it, and we need to find a way to make ourselves more responsible, too. Our kids need to know that the decisions and habits they make now will shape their future. It might be hard to grasp at 3, but I do think that by age 7 or 8 they can understand that their actions have long-standing consequences. Someone recently explained it to me this way: You either have lots of options when you are young OR a lot more options when you are an adult. The young child with lots of options doesn’t have many rules, regulations, or discipline. A child who grows up with less options and more discipline and responsibility when young will become an adult with many options and paths to follow. For example, a well-disciplined high-school kid with good grades, good work ethic, and good character has many more options than one without those credentials. Take action now to instill some responsibility into your children. No one else is going to do it.

— Anita Oldham, editor of Today’s Family

I can’t stand decorating. So the responsibility for holiday spirit at my house belongs to my girls. As soon as they were old enough to grasp ornaments they’ve been in charge of decorating the Christmas tree. I put the lights on, and I get the decorations out. I don’t even mind putting the stuff away, but the task of choosing the best places for the reindeer, birds, bells, and snowpeople falls to them. And none of that stuff is allowed out of the boxes until after Thanksgiving. Putting out little bunnies and pumpkins is their job, too.

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Elaine doesn’t “do” decorating. If you drive by in the winter and our yard flag still features Snoopy cheerfully flinging flowers, speak to them.

— Elaine Rooker Jack, assistant editor of Today’s Family

I try to teach my children to take responsibility for their actions, and the best way to do that is to mirror it myself. If I tell my children I’m going to do something, then I do it. Period. If

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April hopes to teach her kids to own up to their mistakes. my husband and I get snappy with each other in front of the kids during the morning rush to get to work and school, we make sure to also apologize to each other in front of our children, because it’s important for them to learn that when they make a mistake, they need to admit it and make amends. — April Allman, graphic designer of Today’s Family

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Advertorial

On the Cover There’s much family fun to be found at the new KFC Yum! Center, and the Reed family was eager to be a part of it. The diehard sports fans say they attend UofL games regularly — and love every minute of it. Mindy and Bobby Reed, along with their daughter Skylar, wear their Cardinal colors with pride. Photo by Chet White Makeup by Isidro Valencia Styling by Wendy Anguiano Clothing from Rodeo Drive, Macy’s Oxmoor Center, and Fan Outfitters

Beautiful Baby Contest

Now is the time to dig out that cute picture (or take one fast!) that shows your child’s personality and cute face.

Enter your baby in the 4th annual

Today’s Family Beautiful Baby Contest! Check out page 28 for more details on how to enter!

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Parent Perspective TOPICS:

THE JOY OF CHORES • THE JOY OF CHORES • THE

It’s a Wonderful Life

hores are not optional and you don’t get paid to do them. We ALL live here in this wonderful home. In order for all of us to continue living in this clean, organized, well-kept home, we ALL have to contribute. But we all have different gifts, talents, and preferences. For example: Westray and Gib like to be outside so they take garbage out; put bikes, balls, and other outdoor play equipment away; mow, trim, and use the blower to keep areas tidy and clean. Ali was more of an indoor person so she focused on helping in the kitchen and picking things up around the house. All of my children have to keep their rooms clean and organized at all times! This has worked for us because we made it a way of life instead of workoriented. Everyone’s life is easier when they know exactly where things are. Each child has a place for his or her “own belongings.” Organization and teamwork have just been a way of life for our family. It has worked because we always add laughter, music, or even a fun television show on while we are working. My older son still says he loves to look at the yard after he finishes mowing. It gives him a sense of accomplishment, and he likes being able to contribute. On occasion someone does not pull his or her weight and someone else has to take up the slack. This is not all bad because we are all human and we all have days when we need a little extra help. Our family philosophy is “what goes around comes around.” My kids agree that life is not always fair and sometimes we have to help each other. Our relaxed, casual, laid-back home environment allows the success of this. There is nothing formal, distressing or wretched about our system. As young children, they all learned that everything has a place, and if you use it, put it back! How do I keep this going? I 8

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The Joy of

CHORES

Stacy and family

believe that acceptance of one’s intrinsic worth is the core of personality. Responsibility helps each of us feel worthwhile and valuable. I also believe that positive, upbeat praise and reinforcement is a sure way to keep a child’s attention. I believe that the best way to get children to do what you want is 2 0 1 1

to spend time with them before disciplinary problems occur: having fun together, doing chores together, enjoying mutual laughter and joy! When those moments of love and closeness happen, regardless of when and where they happen, kids are not as likely to challenge and test the limits. Children love daily routine activities of the simplest kind. You can turn routine chores into times of warmth and closeness if you give them a little thought. — Stacy Westray Tackett, 46, mother of Alexandria, 22, Westray, 19, and Gib, 8 t o d a y ’ s

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Attention, Dads and Moms! We’re looking for guest writers. Email a little about yourself and your family, and you might see your byline in an upcoming issue! You can view topics on our website. Email elaine@todayspublications.com and put “I can write about parenting” in the subject line.

JOY OF CHORES • THE JOY OF CHORES • THE JOY OF CHORES • THE JOY

Chore Charts: Third Time’s the Charm

to be done, sometimes offering assistance. ur chore system developed a few years ago The problem with my first two charts: I made in the same way as many others. A chart some chores optional. In a home where the kids was born. I hate charts. don’t have a driving need for spending money My kids are obligated to do some simple chores yet, there is no incentive to step up to the plate. In just so they can remain under my roof – make bed, addition, I was not good about staying on the kids brush teeth, empty backpacks – the usual. As my and asking if they wanted to do chores. daughter grew I thought it would be nice to offer The new system works: Kids participate and more options for her to earn some spending money. parents monitor. My response to “Can I have My first chart was a simple check–box affair. If she screen time now?” is “Check the did a chore, a check got marked and chore chart and get one thing you when she accumulated a specific number have to do today done and then you she was paid. The enthusiasm for this may.” “Scratch one off your list” is my was immense but short-lived. I didn’t favorite phrase. keep up with the chart, and her attitude My kids have become more plummeted into “it’s almost my birthday, motivated as they’ve seen the financial why would I need to earn money?” rewards begin to accumulate. The Fast forward to present day biggest surprise is my youngest who is Crestwood, Ky. House is a disaster, still asking what is on his list every day three kids, one husband, two dogs, and acting like it is Christmas when I and a very twitchy mother. New fork over his $4 at the end of the week. system. Chores are no longer optional. All chores are listed and each day has Barb Hartman and children I’m cautiously optimistic that we have found a system that works. a kid name next to two to five of these Of course there are special occasions, such as now jobs. Oldest child has to do 32 in a week, middle while I’m typing this, my oldest is diligently cleaning child 24, and youngest 16. my kitchen, which was a total train wreck. She will I made sure that my youngest is pulling his get not only my gratitude but an unexpected bonus weight while keeping his chores confined mostly with her allowance, probably in the form of a fun to things he can do without help so that I am not mother-daughter manicure tomorrow. always called into action. With that being said, — Barb Hartman, 43, mother of Maeve (9), my husband and I do find that we have to take the Liam (7), Sean (5) younger two to the chart and identify what needs

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Parent Perspective TOPIC:

THE JOY OF CHORES

Tearing His Hair...

he good news is I am blessed with three beautiful daughters. The bad news is when my wife travels I have to fix the girls’ hair for school. And I have absolutely no idea how. Now it’s (oldest daughter) Mary’s job to ensure everyone’s hair — including her own — is done before they come down to breakfast. This excludes me, mainly because I live in a house with four females and don’t have any hair left. If you think that corralling three girls under 10 into a bathroom, getting their hair in those confusing glamour contraptions while fighting a barrage of shin kicks is not a chore, think again. This is without a doubt the most important chore Mary has ever performed for the well-being of the family. After all, I have missed more than one staff meeting trying to get pig tails to sit on the sides of heads, while she can do it — with one hand — in a matter of seconds. John G. Warren, wife Cheri I am starting to get worried though. Mary and their girls has some overnight field trips coming up, and it looks like I will be forced to do the morning hair routine alone. I just hope the girls don’t mind getting up at 3 a.m. — John G. Warren, 47, father of Mary (9), Anna (7), and Emily (3)

Ther’es an Extrq Quarter in it for Ya!

e have two children and are expecting another girl in early February. Our children help with chores for two reasons: 1) they are part of the family, and 2) to learn that work equals pay. The oldest is learning the concept of using money (spending, saving, and giving), so this presents a great opportunity to teach that money is not free — it’s earned. They both do certain chores simply because they are part of the family. Hannah, 3, also has chores that earn her small commissions. This plan works for us because our kids learn that being part of the family means helping with day–to–day chores. It gives them ownership in what they are doing and pride in a job well done. For the chores with commissions, there is extra motivation, and sometimes Hannah initiates the chore herself. Sometimes the plan backfires. For example, Hannah earns commissions by helping unload the dishwasher. Sometimes, if I have a clean load, I feel as though I have to wait until she’s available to help or she misses her opportunity to earn money. This can mean dishes sitting on my countertop for hours! So I’ve learned to try to make this particular Terra, husband James and children chore happen first thing in the morning. And if I’ve done dishes later in the day I may offer a special treat to entice her away from whatever she’s doing to go ahead and help. Our plan earns our kids spendable money and a pat on the back. Our children love to feel needed, to be reassured, and the whole family benefits from their efforts! — Terra Santos, 29, mother of Hannah (3), Benjamin, (1 1/2), and Sophia (due in February) 10 D e c e m b e r 2 0 1 0 / J a n u a r y 2 0 1 1

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PHOTO: CHET WHITE

With Eyes

wide open Louisville freelance writer Laura Clark, 28, is due to have her first baby. Through the next year, she’ll share her experiences, her range of emotions and what she learns as a new mother.

By Laura Clark

’m 37 weeks and counting as of this writing. I’m hyper-sensitive to each little tightening and squirm in my belly. Was that a warm-up contraction or a gas bubble? Meanwhile I wonder if you can ever be ready for motherhood…

That’s really the state I’m in, becoming a mother. Maybe that’s why nature gave us nine long months to ponder motherhood, to accept it, to worry. It seems like a lifetime ago when I was poised on the brink of the first of many surprises. I remember the excitement of being on reporter row at the Sweet 16 in Rupp Arena, decked out in skinny jeans and leather boots, eyes flashing from laptop to boy’s basketball but nagged by two questions: Why am I so tired? And why am I so hungry? Three days later I learned why. Ooops. My fiancé, Chet, and I were stunned. We wanted kids, but we knew darn well there was a logical order to follow. We were in a state of disbelief as we pressed fast-forward on our lives. We bought a house in April, closed and moved in a week before our wedding in May, and by August had flip-flopped careers. Chet got a great full-time photography contract, and I became the freelance journalist.

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We’ll both be parents very, very soon. Now whenever we have really stupid moments in our lives, I find myself saying, “And we’re going to raise a kid…” Here’s to the start of letting go of perfection. I don’t think Chet felt the parenting tug as early as I did. He kept calling my growing stomach a beer belly. Feeling the baby move and hearing the heartbeat and our series of childbirth classes has finally convinced him there’s a baby in there. It just looks like a pony keg. But when you’re the one dealing with all the fun pregnancy surprises, imminent motherhood dawns on you much sooner. Pop culture is fibbing big-time when it shows only the extremes of pregnancy – constant eating and morning sickness or blissful serenity. “You’re glowing,” my dad says. “No, I’m sweating,” I reply. Louisville’s record-hot summer meant I spent all of June (pre-air conditioning unit) in my underwear on continued on page 14 t o d a y ’ s

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continued from page 12

the couch eating ice cream. Every day. That’s probably why I’ve gained 40-plus pounds. Most people are kind and say I’m “all belly” or looking good. But I believe my 17-year-old sister when she says, “Your butt is huge.” Me: “You know, I don’t own a full-length mirror but that would explain why my underwear is shrinking.” The towels also no longer fit. And when I laugh too hard, I can’t breathe. This baby is officially so big it can simultaneously head-butt my bladder and dig its heels up under my ribs. And don’t ask me how long I’ve been farting uncontrollably. I’m just like my beloved grandmother: poot-pooting around the kitchen acting like her hearing aid doesn’t catch those tones. But really I can’t complain. My body’s been invaded but I feel pretty good. Proud even to nourish this growing baby. We’re both healthy, which is the most important thing. And given our low-risk rating, I’ve been able to continue with our plans to deliver naturally at home. Okay, don’t flip out. I am neither reckless nor crazy. True to my curious, critical journalism background I’ve done a ton of research. And it boils down to this: a planned homebirth for a healthy pregnancy is as safe as a hospital birth. I didn’t start out wanting to give birth at home. I know a couple of women who’ve done it, but my initial focus was on giving birth naturally, meaning without drugs or interventions. My upbringing and instincts taught me childbirth is not a medical emergency. Life-or-death situations arise, but that’s the nature of the process. Thankfully, we have the medical advancements to save mothers and babies in an emergency. But as my pregnancy developed I was confused by the fear in our culture surrounding birth. So I sought out natural childbirth books and videos, whatever the library had. The authors went way beyond the classic “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” From French doctor Michel Odent I began to understand the basic needs of a woman in labor: privacy, a feeling of security, the comfort of surroundings in which she can control the light and temperature. From Australian doctor Sarah J. Buckley I learned about the unique hormonal process that unfolds through labor and birth and breastfeeding. She also gave birth to all four of her children at home. And from the United States’ leading midwife, Ina May Gaskin, my belief in an unmedicated, joyful birth was enhanced. Gaskin opens her books on midwifery with a series of birth stories compiled by mothers, fathers, and midwives. In these stories, the mothers encountered fear and trepidation, of course, but they also approached their births with a confidence in their bodies, an inherent trust in what women have done since Eve. These authors also pointed out the stark differences between natural birth and what happens in hospitals. But it was in the many birth stories I heard from friends and family that I began to understand why a homebirth with a midwife was right for me. There’s a cycle of interventions that develop in a hospital when labor is not allowed to progress at its own unique rate, when a woman is not allowed to help her labor progress by keeping her energy up through fluids and food, and when she’s unable to enlist gravity by walking or assuming any position to relieve her discomfort. If a mother and baby are not in distress, labor should be allowed to start on its own and take as long as necessary, and it certainly shouldn’t be restricted by depriving a laboring 14

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mother of natural nourishment and movement. Instead, a labor tends to be started or sped up by artificial hormones, which make a woman’s contractions harder and longer than they would be naturally. Meanwhile, she’s restricted to a bed because she must have a fetal monitor strapped to her stomach and IVs hooked up. (It has been proven that constant routine fetal monitoring compared to occasional monitoring does not increase the number of babies saved but increases the number of cesarean sections.) So because the discomfort is intensified, and we culturally fear birth due to pain, a woman typically chooses to opt for an epidural to numb her from the waist down. This means she’ll need to have a catheter, so she definitely won’t be able to get up and move and help the labor progress with gravity. She won’t be able to feel the contractions that would normally guide her pushing, so she’ll have to be directed. She’ll end up with an episiotomy, although research shows a natural tear heals faster and easier than routine cuts. Easier and faster if she doesn’t have to deliver through a c-section because labor is taking too long for the hospital or doctors. Or because the epidural has drugged her baby and so makes it harder for the baby to recover after each contraction. Or because her water was broken artificially to speed up labor and she’s had umpteen vaginal exams to see how things are progressing so she’s LOCAL RESOURCES developed a mild fever from • www.believeinbirth.net – childbirth infection. education classes and doula services She’s been bombarded • www.birthcarenetwork.com by experts telling her how her body and baby are doing and it may have flown in the face of what she knew inherently how to do, but once she hears the golden phrase “what’s best for the baby” she no longer argues. No wonder only 2 percent of births in Louisville hospitals are unmedicated. No wonder one in three women ends up delivering with a c-section. And it doesn’t translate into better results for moms or babies. The United States ranks 30th in infant mortality. That’s the secondworst among industrialized nations. And that’s despite spending more money on maternal care than any other country in the world. Okay, so I’m a little irritated that so many decisions surrounding labor and birth are not based on scientific fact but on old assumptions and a fear of lawsuits. Women and babies deserve better. Armed with this knowledge, I switched from an OBGYN to a midwife with 20 years experience delivering babies at home. She carries oxygen and medication in case of hemorrhaging. But most importantly, she believes in natural birth, in her ability to guide me, and our ability to bring this baby into the world. I trust her completely, and I will listen to her if she thinks it best to transport to a hospital. Safety first. Chet and I are approaching this birth with eyes wide open but knowing it will be another surprising endeavor. We finished up our series of childbirth education classes and are prepared with several ways to relax and stay positive through labor and birth. If there is one thing I know it’s that a woman’s birth story stays with her forever, and I want mine to be an empowering beginning to motherhood. Editor’s Note: Baby Carson Lloyd was born right before Thanksgiving at the time we went to print. Read more about Laura’s experience in the next issue. t o d a y ’ s

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Family Dynamics By Lisa Hurt Kozarovich • Photographs by Barbara MacDonald

The MacDonald Family Joseph and Barbara MacDonald, twin boys Noah and Joey (10); Ryan (23), who is currently stationed in Afghanistan with the U.S. Army; and Charlene (26), who lives in Florida Live: Downtown at Waterfront Park Place condominiums work Lives: Joseph is executive director of Waterfront Park Place, the downtown luxury high-rise condos that sit on the edge of the Ohio River. Barbara is a part-time freelance writer and photographer.

Staying connected with family and community ABOVE: The MacDonald family at Ryan’s Army basic training graduation in Fort Benning, Ga., in November 2009.

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fter a military career that sent the MacDonald family around the globe, the foursome landed in Louisville three years ago. Joseph and Barbara, a native of Oahu, Hawaii, met and married on the island when Joseph was stationed there with the U.S. Army and Barbara was a flight attendant with Hawaiian Airlines. Over the years, Barbara worked in TV news and public relations, the couple raised Joseph’s son, Ryan, and then had twin boys, before Joseph retired from the military. continued on page 18 t o d a y ’ s

F A M I L Y

DIREC T ORY Adoption

MAternitY/BABY

suMMer CAMps

Adoption Bridges

Babyology Breastfeeding Resource Center & Boutique

The dePaul School

A non-profit adoption agency providing full services for birth parents and adoptive parents. Please visit our website at adoptionbridgesofkentucky.org and see us on Facebook and YouTube. 401 West Main St #1710, (40202) • 502.585.4369 • 1.800.542.5245 • www.adoptionbridgesofkentucky.org • facebook.com/adoptionbridgesofkentucky

ChildCAre

Community Coordinated Child Care, Inc (4-C) 4-C is the central point of contact for community child care needs and serves as a VOICE FOR CHILDREN and families. Call or visit our website if you are looking for child care, and/or need help in paying for child care. 1215 So. 3rd St., Louisville, KY 40203 • 502.636.1358 www.4Cforkids.org • facebook.com/4CVOICE

ChildCAre/presChool

St. James Catholic School Come soar above with St. James Elementary and Monsignor Horrigan Pre-School/Pre-K Programs! We encourage and support the development of every child by enhancing a positive self-image through education. 1818 Edenside Avenue • 502.454.0330, Ext. 11 • www.stjamesbluejays.com

ClothinG

Little Treasures Kid’s Sale Area’s most anticipated kid’s consignment event held every March and August. Parents can earn money on the things their kids have outgrown and save up to 90% on new and delicately used brand name items. For more information about the sale, visit www.littletsale.com 502.541.4446 • www.littletreasuressale.com

eduCAtion

Barefoot Books We specialize in multicultural, earth-friendly children’s books that celebrate art, story, imagination, and creativity. Fundraising is available for schools and churches. We have great gifts for classroom birthday parties, special occasions, and showers. 502.509.3336 • www.KidsNeedGreatBooks.com • facebook.com/KidsNeedGreatBooks

eduCAtion/speCiAltY sChools

Meredith-Dunn School Meredith-Dunn School is an independent school that offers prescriptive education for students with learning differences in grades 1-8. We help children with learning differences develop academically, socially and emotionally. We value each child as an individual with unique strengths, weaknesses and learning patterns. So, we personalize each child’s instruction and create an environment rich in learning, growing, and confidence-building opportunities. We believe in the potential of all learners. Meredith-Dunn School is recognized as a School of Distinction, by the All Kinds of Minds Institute. Contact us for additional information about our school, tutoring, and diagnostic services. 3023 Melbourne Avenue., Louisville, KY 40220 • 502.456.5819 • www.meredithdunnschool.org

heAlth/Wellness

Marshall Women’s Health & Education Ctr. Free wellness classes, health risk assessments, prevention info and education, to navigation and physician referral services. We’re meeting needs of women of all ages–adolescence to menopause. Created to empower women to take charge of their health.

We rent and sell a full line of breast pumps, maternity/nursing bras 32B to 50L, nursing covers, baby carriers, and a lot of unique mommy/baby gift items. If you need help, we also offer lactation consults by IBCLCs, latch checks, and more. Plus, we offer FREE weight checks and Gift Registry. ClASSeS — Free Mom’s support group, Lamaze, Breastfeeding, Cloth Diapering, Introducing Solids, and many other classes. Complete listing of classes on our website: www.babyology.com. BABy ShOWeRS — For facility rental and planning information contact Andrea at andrea@lyricalhands. com or 502.640.9698. Hours M-F 9a-7p & Sat. 9a-6p. 3934 Dutchmans Ln., Louisville, KY 40207 • 502.721.7727 • www.babyology.com

Choose A Gender Have you ever wondered if there was a way to influence the gender of your next child? Choose A Gender, LLC. allows families to do just that. We offer a laboratory procedure that can increase the odds of producing a male or female child at an affordable cost. Our website contains information on our process, other gender selection methods, costs, forms to get started, and contact information to submit any questions you may have about our services. Since gender selection is possible, there is a demand for the service. Some of the reasons for using a gender selection service include: Family Balancing or the process of bringing the number of children of each gender in one family closer to equal. 8814 Linn Station Rd. (40222) • 502.767.1942 • www. chooseagender.com • facebook.com/chooseagender

Clark Memorial Hospital Family Birth Place The Family Birth Place offers expectant parents a personalized birth experience. With spacious labor and delivery suites, in-room waiting areas, and garden tubs, the Family Birth Place has the ambience of a luxury hotel. Providing quality care to mom and baby is of utmost importance, that’s why the Family Birth Place promotes Kangaroo Care, the practice of a mother holding her baby skin-to-skin, and Quiet Time. Clark Memorial is also the only hospital in the area to have two Certified Nurse Midwives on staff and an on-site Breastfeeding Center staffed by a Certified Lactation Consultant. Childbirth Classes – Prepared Childbirth, Lamaze, Breastfeeding, Brothers and Sisters To Be, Infant CPR and Safety, and Doula Night. A complete class schedule is on our website. Breastfeeding Center – Breastfeeding supplies including bras, pads, and pumps for purchase. Breast pump rental, free weight checks for baby, and individual consultations. Hours: 10 a.m. – 2 p.m. Monday – Saturday. Phone: 812.283.2901 Clark Memorial Hospital Family Birth Place 1220 Missouri Ave., Jeffersonville, IN 47130 • 812.283.6631 • www.clarkmemorial.org

Norton Women’s Pavilion Norton Women’s Pavilion is here for you, from free prenatal classes to breast-feeding support and everything in between. Because of our specialized services, more expectant parents choose to deliver their babies with us than any other birthing facility in the region. Norton Hospital • 200 E. Chestnut St., 40202 Norton Suburban Hospital • 4001 Dutchmans Ln., 40207 502.629.1234 • www.nortonbaby.com

1925 Duker Avenue, Louisville, KY 40205 • www.depaulschool.org • 502.459.6131

Meredith-Dunn School For over 40 years, Meredith-Dunn School has provided excellent educational support for children. Our program offers basic reinforcement in all academic areas. The program is designed for children completing grades K-7 and is available to students who do not attend Meredith-Dunn during the school year. Meredith-Dunn’s summer offerings are: Summer School – a four week program offering 66.5 hours of instruction with a written report at session’s end. This 4-week session meets each morning 8:30 to noon; One-to-One Tutoring which provides remediation in the student’s areas of difficulty; and Middle School Workshops which help students develop a better understanding of strategies for learning and how to apply them in the classroom. Workshops meet 11:00 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. daily, for two weeks. Costs: Summer School – $800/4-week session, 3-1/5 hours daily; Tutoring – $45/hour, $25 registration fee; Middle School Workshops – $200/2-week session, 1-1/5 hours daily, $25 registration fee. Call 502.456.5819 for more information. Note: Meeting dates will be announced. 3023 Melbourne Avenue., Louisville, KY 40220 • 502.456.5819 • www.meredithdunnschool.org

YMCA - Camp Carson Don’t miss out on the summer of a lifetime! With campers and staff from over 25 different states and 7 countries, and an endless list of activities to take part in, it’s not hard to see why we were voted Best Regional Resident Camp. Camp Carson offers horseback, dirt bikes, archery, canoeing, sailing, swimming, kayaking, pottery, crafts, archery, marksmanship, climbing, mountain boards and bikes, rhythm drums, fly-fishing, woodworking and more! Located just 1-3/4 hours west of Louisville, Camp Carson offers co-ed programs for campers aged 7 to 16. Christian emphasis based on YMCA core values – Faith, Caring, Honesty, Respect, and Responsibility. ACA accredited. Call for brochure and information DVD. See our ad on page 26. 1-3/4 hours west of Louisville 812.385.3597 • www.campcarson.org

Reach more than 99,000 readers. Advertising rates as low as $50. For moreDinformation e c e m b Oe cr t o2call 0 / / NJ oa vn eu m a rb ye ror 2 02 email 10 11 0 17 17 b0 e1 r502.327.8855 advertising@todayspublications.com

Norton Dutchw w w w w .Medical t . ot doPlaza ad yaIII s-ySuburban, fs af m i#108, l i yl4121 m a ga .g c . oc m w a m y m o m mans Ln. • 502.629.1234 • www.nortonhealthcare.com

The 2011 dePaul School Summer Program offers enrichment and enjoyment for students who learn differently. Designed to enhance skills and prevent summer learning loss, our 6-week program is available to students who have completed grades 1-8. Using small classes, highly-trained staff, and research-based curriculum, dePaul offers a multisensory learning environment in Reading, Math and Language. The required part of the program is from 9a-12p M-F. Students enrolled in the morning session are eligible to enroll in the afternoon enrichment camp, 12p-4p M-F. Here, students will enjoy hands-on activities in science, sports, computer, performing arts and visual arts, with some off-campus trips. For parents needing extended morning hours, an early morning program is offered at 7:30a. Admissions: Beginning in January, families can contact Admissions for information about the 2011 Summer Program. Students will be required to take an Admissions test to determine eligibility and program placement. For information or to schedule a tour, contact The dePaul School Admissions Office at 502.459.6131 or admissions@ depaulschool.org.

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You’ve been in Louisville three years now, how do you see the city in terms of family-friendly living? Barbara: “Louisville is a great place to raise children. It was just recently named one of the best cities for families. Tenyear-olds here are still really like 10-year-olds. Most of their friends’ parents are still married. It’s certainly different than many parts of the country, especially larger cities.”

The twins flounder fishing with their grandfather and uncle in Cape May, New Jersey.

The twins love playing in the country and we have a friend with a farm in Harrod’s Creek.

How does raising children in an urban environment differ from a suburban lifestyle? Barbara: “Our last home was on the outskirts of Tucson, AZ. Our back yard was the desert, with an incredible amount of wildlife. We rode our bikes to school. Here we have Waterfront Park as our whole front yard. There’s plenty of room to throw a football; there’s a children’s play area. There’s the Lincoln Memorial, which is incredible. Sometimes we walk down to see the Belle of Louisville. Noah is very interested in architecture. He was able to watch the arena being built and he likes seeing all the bridges. Raising children in a downtown environment is different — not better, or worse, just different.” Joseph: “Living in a downtown condominium provides us with quality time to be with each other and 24/7 security. Outside of household chores, there is no lawn to cut or windows to wash. … It’s an environmentally-friendly life; we drive less and can walk easily to the new arena, restaurants, and the theater, and the hospital is a couple of blocks away. It is a quality of life choice that helps to direct our efforts to our family and the opportunity to create relationships with the more than one hundred other residents who share this space with us.” What are some of your favorite ways to spend time together? Barbara: “We love to take a carriage ride to dinner, and there are so many great restaurants downtown. We’re big sports fans. We have season tickets to the Riverbats; we can just walk to Slugger Field. We love UofL sports. My husband has a scooter and he’ll take the boys to different places around downtown. We love to get out and enjoy nature; last weekend the boys went fishing.” Joseph: “Catching the sunset with my family. … After a long day of school, work, kids’ activities, and driving, we eat dinner together on most nights. It is important to talk about what matters the most to us. Last night at dinner, Barb and I recognized the boys’ football achievements and the way they finished what they started and how much fun it was for all of us.” What’s it like raising twins? Barbara: “Well, we’ve had some changes lately: the boys are at different schools now for the first time. One is at Holy Spirit and one is at DePaul. Through fourth-grade, they shared a classroom, a bedroom, all sports. Then they came to us toward the end of fourth-grade and said ‘we want to go to different sports camps — we’re ready to have separate lives.’ They still share a bedroom and some sports. Noah plays

Joey loves to cook and often cooks for the family.

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football at Holy Spirit, the parish we belong to, and Joey helps with the team. I think in some ways they are better friends now. They have come out of their shells a bit more.” What’s your family’s motto? Barbara: “I don’t know if it’s a motto exactly, but as a family we want to be close. We really encourage our children to be honest about their feelings so someone can help them through whatever it is they’re facing. We want to instill that now and hopefully they’ll continue it. A lot of times as kids get older they start talking less to their parents and more to their friends. We went through a tough time with Ryan. We learned a lot. Now we’re all very close, and we’re so proud of him. He graduated first in his boot camp out of 650 soldiers.” What do you find yourself constantly repeating to your children? Barbara: “Besides ‘stop that’ and ‘wash your hands’? I say ‘I love you.’ And I tell them to ‘be nice’ a lot.” What is non-negotiable in your home? Joseph: “Being true to our word. Do what you say you are going to do. If you are unable to keep your commitments, then tell someone. This is closely aligned with telling the truth about what’s going on.” How do you teach your children responsibility? Barbara: “We stress honesty and truthfulness. With my stepson, we taught him to do laundry, cook for himself, advocate for himself. And we teach our boys now it’s their responsibility to be at practice on time. They have to watch the clock and be on us, ‘we need to leave at this time to get to practice’ instead of us always having to be on them, ‘c’mon, hurry up.’ They report to us at the end of every day about what’s happened. They know we better hear it from them if something has happened before we get a note from the teacher. And they have three cats and two hermit crabs they take care of.” Joseph: “My wife and I try to model for our children how to take responsibility for our actions … We teach responsibility by catching them doing something right and showering them with praise … (and by using) chores, animals, school, the iPad as resources to teach those lessons.” What is something you’d like people to know about your family? Barbara: “We’re big advocates for military families using resources like Skype and Facebook to stay connected. We chat via Facebook and we Skype, which allows us to see where Ryan lives, meet some of his friends. We all get together on there and goof off and hopefully it lets him forget, if just for 15 minutes, where he is. He calls every weekend he can. He knows if the boys have a football game and he asks them about it. They love that.” What lesson do you hope your children carry on with their own families? Barbara: “I hope that family continues to be as important for them as it has for us. I hope they remain close as adults and are in each other’s lives. I hope they continue to be kind, and have a love for learning, for nature and animals, that they practice their religion and see the world as the miracle it is.” w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

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Does all of the frantic holiday hustle and bustle give you a headache every year?

Finding Peace:

A Parent’s Responsibility for the Whole Family By Nadyne Lee

ome women love the holidays. They delight in the festive atmosphere at crowded malls, they thrill at the chance to cook holiday foods for extended family, and they adore spending hours decorating their home with glitter and lights.

They are the model of holiday peace and good will. They manage to balance the “reason for the season” with days and nights of secular fun. They never seem to be stressed or overwhelmed. And when it comes to shopping, they always keep well within their budget. If you are one of these people, stop reading. This article is NOT FOR YOU. This article is for the rest of us: the normal ones. It is for those of us who dread the stress that the season brings; who spend well past our budgets to provide a “memorable” holiday; who paste smiles on our faces as we baste the turkey, ice the cookies, sing the carols, wrap the presents, trim the tree, send the cards, and tend to all the other responsibilities which don’t disappear just because it’s December! Underneath all the frantic holiday hustle and bustle, we realize that parents have a responsibility to provide a holiday season that is within the family’s values, budget, and tolerance for stress. continued on page 22

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But that is an ideal that’s easy to forget. We’re pressured by our culture, our family traditions, and our consumer society. Wendy Ruby came from an affluent family. Her greatgrandmother showered her own children with gifts at Christmas time. Her grandmother continued the family tradition. When Wendy was a little girl, she and her sisters woke up on Christmas morning to a living room filled with presents. Every child had at least 15 beautifully wrapped gifts under a magnificent Christmas tree. The unwrapping itself was a ceremony that consumed the morning. At noon, grandparents arrived and a festive meal was served. A traditional Christmas dinner of turkey and dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, a variety of vegetables, and a multitude of desserts was offered on fragile china dishes. After the feast, more gift giving, but with the older generation. As she was growing up, Wendy never thought about how her mother pulled off this minor miracle. It wasn’t until the torch passed to her, that Wendy realized why her mother had slept through the day after Christmas. “December comes and so do my headaches,” complained Wendy. “They’re mild at first, but relentless. By the time Christmas eve arrives, I can’t wait for it all to be over.” Wendy has children of her own. It’s her living room that is now filled with gifts on Christmas morning. “The shopping, spending, wrapping, decorating, and cooking – it’s all too much. Every year I want it to change. And every year it’s the same.” There’s an old adage: If we always do what we’ve always done, we’ll always get what we’ve always got. If we don’t want to continue a tradition, we’ve got to stop the cycle. If we realize that our holiday traditions are controlling us, we have a responsibility to just say “NO!” If our shopping and spending are out of control, we have a responsibility to stop. Being compelled by memories of the past to provide our children with the “perfect” holiday may just be perpetuating the problem and handing it down to the next generation.

Extreme Holiday Makeover

Cold Turkey Approach: A change of venue may help to relieve your holiday expectations. Take a trip for the holidays. Get out of your “traditional” setting. Visit relatives. Take a cruise and leave the cooking and decorating to someone else! Take a few gifts for the children and set off on an adventure. Slow Cooking Approach: Reduce the changes gradually. Each year, gradually reduce your overwork-load, over–spending and over–giving. Rapidly increase healthy family fun. We can teach our children how to make the family recipes for turkey/cookies/latkes. Involve them in the holiday effort and fun. Invite New Friends for Holiday Dinner: Families of the Christian faith can host a birthday party for Jesus at their Christmas dinner. Invite the Three Kings – your children or other relatives in costume – who will bring gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh* (*frankincense and myrrh can be ordered from National Geographic Magazine). Tell the Christmas 22

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story before you begin dinner and serve birthday cake for dessert. Jewish children can reenact the story of the Maccabees and their fight against the Greeks to rescue the Temple. Invite Judah the Maccabee – dressed in costume – to tell the story of Hanukkah before you light the candles. Ask your children to think of reasons that they are grateful for freedom before they light the menorah. Let your child give a gift to a worthy cause for each of the eight days of Hanukkah.

Holiday Stress-less

Give Unto Others (Imitate Saint Nick): Santa Claus is a mythical character popularized in 1822 by Clement Clark Moore in his poem, “Twas the Night Before Christmas.” But the real St. Nicholas was a bishop who lived in third century Turkey. It was his habit to put coins or oranges in the shoes or stockings left outside by the poor children in his city. His charitable acts are what we imitate when we donate to the Angel Tree or other causes. Encourage your children to do chores to earn money for charity. Match their savings. Allow them to choose a worthy cause (The Angel Tree, Habitat for Humanity, Salvation Army, West End School, Mazon, Heifer International, etc). As You Give Unto Yourself: Put yourself on the holiday calendar. The tree won’t fall if you plan a day for relaxation and renewal. Schedule a massage. Meditate: empty your mind of all visions of sugar plums. Listen to music: Try Enya

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or Yanni and shove the “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” CD under the car seat. Make time for romance. Sex is one of the best antidotes for stress. Avoid Nature Deficiency: Get outside and let Mother Nature spin her magic. Take your children for a ride in a one horse open sleigh (call Saylor’s End in Kootz Lake, Indiana). Pack a thermos of chili and hot chocolate for a winter picnic and head off to the woods. Take a hike and track down the perfect tree. Plan a ski trip for the holiday (call Ski Butler or Paoli Peaks).

Inherited Traditions

Holiday traditions are passed down from parents to their children. Those traditions can be ones of competitive decorating, frenetic shopping, and overindulgence. Or they can be different! Holiday traditions can be giving to the less fortunate, reconnecting with spiritual roots, and time for family. You can teach your children how to care for others as they care for themselves. Holiday recipes, family values, and shared beliefs can pass from generation to generation. What traditions did we inherit? What traditions are we passing down to our children? Parents have a responsibility to give their children “good” holiday traditions. May the memories we make this year create good holiday traditions. And may we enjoy a peaceful, happy, holiday season.

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The Spirit of Giving: Responsibility and Reward By Stacie L. Martin

inston Churchill once said “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”

Teaching children to give to the community creates a sense of being part of something bigger than themselves. It teaches them to think about the needs of others. It also gives them an enormous feeling of pride. If you don’t believe me, watch a young child as she gives her mom a handmade card or talk to a teen returning from a mission trip. Volunteering has been a part of my life since I was a child, and I want to pass that along to my children. We have volunteered as a family many times. Here are a few of my favorites. I hope you’ll steal my ideas and use them with your own children! “Adopt-A-Platoon” pairs Americans with soldiers stationed overseas. Levels of commitment range from sending weekly cards to providing monthly care packages. Our family chose the monthly care package option for a platoon from Kentucky. We gathered books, candy, puzzles, and handmade cards, and proudly took the package to the post office. Our adopted platoon came home shortly after we sent our first package but we plan to adopt again. Adopt-A-Platoon’s website is www.adoptaplatoon.org. Last year my son Andrew, 8, made a small but thoughtful contribution to our neighborhood. It was July 5th, the day after our neighborhood had been transformed into a booming, colorful demonstration of modern fireworks by several of our neighbors. Unfortunately, the trash that was left over from this fiery show was littered all over the streets and lawns. My son took it upon himself to clean up the neighborhood, inspiring his older sister and another kid to join in. My favorite memory was initiated by my daughter when she was in kindergarten. She decided that she wanted to give stuffed animals to kids in orphanages. She made posters, bravely stood up in front of our church to announce her project, and tried to spread the word as best she could. At the time, St. Joseph Children’s Home housed 45 children and our goal was one stuffed animal for each child. Imagine our surprise when word spread as far away as California and the stuffed animals started pouring in! She ended up collecting 212 stuffed animals, which we distributed to 5 local charities. Stacie L. Martin lives in Mt. Washington with her husband William and Taelor (11) and Andrew (10). She is a frequent contributor to Today’s Family. 24

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Check out www.todaysfamilymag. com or www.facebook/todaysfamily for places your children and family can volunteer.

By Mali Anderson

t four, my daughter is not yet a regular volunteer with a charitable program, but she’s still able to give.

She began by donating books. As she placed each colorful storybook in the donation box she described the legends and imagined how another child would interpret the story. Her understanding of a book as entertainment and knowledge gave me a chance to discuss shared stories with her. When she’s older we’ll talk about the importance of volunteering in the field of education. I’ve explained to her that to build character within ourselves we donate time, ideas, and resources. We do this because volunteerism benefits others while providing us with a sense of joy. Through giving we can see the impact our lives have on one another. And by engaging her with animal protection programs and nature centers, we are able to address issues of humanity. As my daughter grows, I look forward to helping her create lemonade stands, with all proceeds donated to the cause of her choice. We’ll coordinate kid-oriented food drives. A friend shared her success of rallying children in neighborhoods, schools or civic groups to collect foods they like. I can already see the mac and cheese drives, juice and granola drives, or peanut butter and jelly drives ahead. We have discussed how fighting hunger is the responsibility of people caring for each other. My daughter’s interest has proved I only need to provide her with volunteer opportunities. Giving comes naturally. It feels right. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, “You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” Mali Anderson lives in Louisville with her husband Jay Tollefsen and daughter, Ivy (4). This is her first feature for Today’s Family.

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Love, Responsibility, and a Pile of Bricks

By David Stephens

was at a point of frustration with Kelli, my sixth grader. I knew she was smarter than the grades of C’s, D’s, and F’s on her most recent report card. I had sat with her at the kitchen table, lovingly trying to help her understand the importance of an education. I had threatened all the usual threats and offered all the usual rewards for getting good grades. I had talked until I ran out of words and nothing seemed to help. One day while grounded, she sat at the table trying her best to avoid doing the work assigned at school. She had to use the bathroom, get a drink, tell me something irrelevant, anything to delay opening a textbook. I tried once again to focus her and relate why doing well at school is so important but to no avail. I was at a loss for what to do to help her take responsibility for her grades. I went outside to calm down and think about the situation, and there was the answer piled right in front of me: a large pile of bricks I had salvaged from an old chimney. A plan started to form, and I went inside and gave Kelli the option of doing homework or working outside moving bricks. She was excited about moving the bricks. In her young mind it was easier to work physically than to learn “yucky stuff from school.” I gave her the instructions: she was to move one brick at a time to the other side of the yard and stack the bricks neatly by the fence. Off she went. She was nearly running from side to side carrying one brick at a time and stacking each brick with care. I went inside, leaving her to continue her job, with the warning, “If you stop, you go back to doing homework.” After two hours I went outside and found her sitting under the shade tree. I asked what she was doing and she told me she would rather go in and do homework. I grabbed hold of this opportunity to explain to my beautiful daughter the importance of school and good grades. I impressed upon her that without an education this is the only type of job she will receive when she grows to be an adult. You decide how you want to work: Using your muscles or using your brain. I am happy to report she chose her brain. Kelli continued thinking her way through middle and high school and remained on the A-B honor roll throughout her school career. She was recognized for her achievements in academia and I am so proud of her. She is now applying the same lesson she learned in the sixth grade to college. I am now teaching this same lesson to my younger daughter Sarah. I love my children and only want what is best for them. I kept the pile of bricks around to use as a teaching tool — and a reminder. The lesson of the bricks taught the responsibility of getting good grades better than all the talking, grounding, and fighting with my children ever did. I did it with love: teaching responsibility using a pile of old bricks. David Stephens, 42, lives in Mt. Washington with his wife Lisa and daughters Kelli (20) and Sarah (13). This is his first essay for Today’s Family. 26

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Things To Do Take photos at your family activities! Best Christmas Pageant Ever

The Herdmans are the worst kids in the whole history of the world; they lie, steal, and cheat. Now they have bullied their way into the church’s annual Christmas pageant! Slated to be the worst pageant ever, the whole town has gathered in anticipation, waiting to see the Herdmans ruin Christmas. Will the pageant be a disaster as everyone is expecting, or will the spirit of the season change the hearts and minds of the Herdman family?

Photos should be sent in high resolution to editorial@todaysfamilymag.com with “calendarphotos” in the subject line. You will need to include your name, phone number, and mailing address. Keep in mind you need to think ahead. If it is an activity that they enjoy in the summer, you will need to send it two months ahead. Go to our website at www.todaysfamilymag.com for more information. Bella Gorney, 2 1/2, dabbled in pumpkin painting at Regional Youth Service’s recent Fall Festival that brought together 17 foster parents and families plus their 23 foster children and guests from many surrounding counties. Bella is the daughter of Ronnie and Chris Gorney, who are resident foster parents at Noah’s Ark Children’s Village, the site of the festival and which RYS manages.

WHEN Now through December 18 WHERE Kentucky Center for the Arts COST $12.50 CONTACT 502.582.7777

Planes, Trains, and Superheroes

The Kentucky Museum of Art and Craft will host an exhibition featuring more than 100 games, gadgets, and toys that have inspired childhood imagination for decades. Guests will see all the classics, from pedal cars and tin toys to vintage games, action figures, and trains. WHEN Now through December 31 WHERE Kentucky Museum of Art and Craft COST $6/adults; free/kids under 12 CONTACT 502.589.0102

Holidays Around the World

In conjunction with Light Up Louisville, the Frazier Museum will host this celebration of holiday traditions found throughout Louisville’s diverse communities. It ranges from trees decorated as they would be in countries that observe the Christmas holiday, to cultural trees and displays showcasing holidays observed throughout the year in other countries.

Show Off your Beautiful Baby!! Share the cuteness and the craziness of those pretty babies with us. Enter your baby in the 4th annual

Today’s Family Beautiful Baby Contest!

WHEN Now through January 2 WHERE Frazier International History Museum COST $9.50/adults; $8/seniors; $6 children 5-17 CONTACT 502.753.5663

The winner will be featured on a Today’s Family magazine cover and receive other prizes as well.

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RULES: You must be the child’s guardian and own the

CONTEST

Win passes to A Charlie Brown Christmas at the Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory!

PHOTO GUIDELINES: Please keep images at least

750K or larger in file size. For best results, crop images to the head and shoulders and size to 2” x 3”. Photos must be sent in jpeg format. PHOTOS CANNOT BE RETURNED AND BECOME THE

PROPERTY OF ZION PUBLICATIONS.

2 sets of passes will be given away. The program runs through January 2.

Go to www.todaysfamilymag.com for more information and to enter. DEADLINE: January 10, 2011

Enter @ WWW.TODAYSFAMILYMAG.COM deadline: DECEMBER 20

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Santa’s Gingerbread Village

Santa’s Gingerbread Village is the largest life-sized gingerbread village in the U.S. Santa and his elves have been working hard to build this magnificent display for you and your family to enjoy. WHEN Now through January 3 WHERE Galt House COST Free CONTACT 502.589.5200

The Good, the Bad, and the Cuddly: Toys and the Movies

In this playful, hands-on exhibit, the widelyrecognized Toy Story characters help tell the story of some of America’s most beloved toys, beginning with the early 20th century through present day. The 3,800-square-foot exhibit features over 500 toys from the last 75 years. WHEN Now through March 27 WHERE Frazier International History Museum COST

$9.50/adults; $8/seniors; $6 children 5-17

CONTACT 502.753.5663

A Christmas Carol

Tea with Santa and Teddy Bear

Enjoy a wonderful afternoon filled with tea, sandwiches, and sweets for adults and a variety of hot chocolate and child-friendly sandwiches and sweets, served in the beautiful English Grill. Special guest Santa Claus will read a story to all the boys and girls present. Teddy Bear will also join in the fun and excitement as he greets the children and helps them pick out a special Teddy Bear gift selected just for them. Reservations required. $10 per child will be donated to the Home of the Innocents and C.A.S.A. WHEN December 11 WHERE Brown Hotel COST $30/adults; $20/children CONTACT

502.583.1234 ext. 7108

Holiday Camp

Students age 6 to 10 will participate in two hands-on art projects to make gifts for parents or loved ones, with a lunch break in between. The camp gives parents a chance to go shopping without the kids, catch up around the house, or just relax. Space is limited, so make your reservation today.

Louisville’s biggest and best holiday tradition—the classic story of Ebenezer Scrooge, Tiny Tim, and the spirits of Christmas Past, Present, and Future, brought to life with visual splendor and the warmth of holiday music.

WHEN December 11 @ 11am-4pm WHERE Kentucky Museum of Art and Craft COST $45/non-members; $40/ members CONTACT 502.589.0102 or

danewaters@kentuckyarts.org

Santa’s Safari

Be a part of Santa’s workshop where elves help families create a wonderful holiday craft that can be enjoyed for years to come. Then begin your journey through the Zoo’s heated buildings, where you’ll be able to have one-onone interaction with Zoo animals and Zoo educators.

WHEN December 7-23 WHERE Actors Theatre COST $27-49 CONTACT 502.584.1205

Holiday Candlelight Tours – 1809 style

A celebration reminiscent of 1809 comes alive as the house shines warmly. The illustrious Clark and Croghan families greet their guests. Mantles and stairs are draped with fresh greens and fruits of all varieties. Live music and dancing await in the second floor Great Parlor. Tea served on December 10 (call for menu and price). WHEN December 9, 5:30-9 pm, December 10, 1pm-9pm WHERE Locust Grove, 561 Blankenbaker Lane COST $8 adults, $4 children 6-12, free to children under 6 and for members CONTACT 502.897.9845, www.locustgrove.org

WHEN December 11-12 & 18-19 @ 10am, 12pm, and 2pm WHERE Louisville Zoo COST $10.50/members; $15/non-members; $5/age 2 and under CONTACT 502.459.2181 or www.louisvillezoo.org

Harlem Globetrotters

The Harlem Globetrotters are the first live event to earn the Parent Tested, Parent Approved seal of approval. Guaranteed to keep both parents and kids laughing through the whole show, you will be amazed both by their humor and their athletic ability. WHEN January 16 @ 2pm and 7pm

WHERE

KFC Yum! Center COST $19-$127 CONTACT

1.800.745.3000

Win a Tummy Tub from Babyology!

Win a personalized bat from Louisville Slugger Museum!

All you have to do is sign up online to be entered in our drawing.

Enter to win a personalized baseball bat from the Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory.

deadline: January 10, 2011

CONTEST

CONTEST D e c e m b e r

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Driving the Message Home:

Warn Your Children about Drunk Driving

Operation: PARENT is determined to “drive the message home” about peer pressure, underage drinking, drunk driving, and the critical need for your support of Operation: PARENT’s ongoing mission to educate, equip, encourage, and engage parents of teens and preteens. The night’s festivities will include a silent auction, drunk driving simulator rides, an engaging speech from Sarah Panzau, and refreshments. As a two-time member of the National Junior College Athletic Association women’s volleyball AllAmerica team, Sarah Panzau knew what it was like to be on top of her game. But on August 23, 2003, Sarah just about lost it all when her car spun out of control. With a blood-alcohol level nearly four times the legal limit, the 21-year-old decided to drive home drunk. She was ejected through the rear window of her car, her left arm was torn from her body and she was thrown onto the roadway. The emergency team pronounced Sarah dead at the scene. But suddenly she gasped for air. Surgery and a painful road of recovery followed. Sarah is living proof that poor choices can have drastic consequences. She talks about peer pressure, the “wrong crowd,” and the meaning of “real” friends. She pleads with students to spot the telltale warning signs in others and underscores the need to seek help. WHEN January 27 6 pm — Doors open 6-7pm — Silent auction and drunk driving simulator rides 7pm — Sarah Panzau speaks 8pm — Silent auction winners announced and simulator rides *Please note, drunk driving simulator rides are limited to those with a driver’s license and are operated by an outside vendor. WHERE North Oldham Theater COST Event tickets are $25 until January 1. After January 1, tickets will be $35. Children 10 and up are encouraged to come with their parents. Sarah Panzau’s presentation contains graphic photos and descriptions which may not be appropriate for younger audiences. This is a fundraiser for the nonprofit organization Operation: PARENT. CONTACT www.operationparent.org t o d a y ’ s

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By Elaine Rooker Jack • Photo by Melissa Donald Why are you a good mom? “I asked Mason why he thought I was a good mom and he said, ‘because you clean house.’ I told him I could be a bad mom and still clean! I think I’m a good mom because I love being a mom, and you have to love your job to be good at it.” Why are you a good “boy Mom”? “I jump in with the boy stuff, like making forts.” Now that the boys are involved in lots of sports, “I love watching their activities. Baseball is their biggest love, so I help with the uniforms and transportation.” Aaron coaches the cross country team, and Gwen serves as comanager. “I try to jump in and be part as best I can.” What do you struggle with? “Letting them take chances and make mistakes. And I want them to be always happy. But there are normal things they need to feel to learn. And letting them do things — like making cookies — and not control it.” What’s your best Mom trait? “Listening to my kids and not jumping in. I want them to grow up feeling comfortable talking to us and always come to us. So I always stop and listen and not judge.” What makes you nuts? “Clutter. Dishes in the sink. I’m not constantly scrubbing, but it’s the stuff that gets to me. When I clean out a closet, I feel refreshed.” What do you hope to pass along to your kids? “The love of spending time together as a family. And seeing the family working together as a team.”

Time Out with

Gwen Beard

You were PTA president at Harmony for two years. And I think Aaron got involved . . .? “I drag Aaron into PTA stuff. He’s been the DJ for Husky Hustle (a fitness-based fund-raiser for the school) and people say he needs a job on Radio Disney. He plays music and eggs them on — it’s a passion for him.”

Age: 35

Lives: Goshen

With: Husband Aaron and sons Mason (11 in January) and Logan, (9) Birth order: younger of two

Do you have a tag line? “I asked my boys if I do, and they said I don’t, but Dad does: ‘If Mom’s not happy, no one’s happy.’”

WORK LIFE: Stay-At-Home Mom, former Child Support Officer

What are some life skills/ values you want to be sure your kids Learn? “To treat each other they way they want to be treated.” When do you see yourself in your kids? “When they are helping or kind, I like toDthink that’s my example.” 32 e c e m b e r 2 0 1 0 /

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How to Launch a Child’s Volunteer Spirit Compiled by Mali Anderson

1. Make a Match. When brainstorming for volunteer opportunities ask your child’s opinion. If he adores a family pet, try an animal shelter. Can’t keep her out of the tree house? Try a nature center. 2. Focus on Fun. Keep attitudes positive on all charitable outings. If you’re enjoying yourself, children will mimic adult enthusiasm. The result? Before you know it everyone is having fun. 3. Count me in. Through volunteer programs kids can meet children with similar interests who may live in different neighborhoods or attend

different schools. New friendships can widen a child’s social sphere. 4. Gain a Skill. Often volunteer programs will teach a child hands–on skills such as painting, cooking or organizing. In addition, children can learn leadership and how to carry out a task from start to finish. 5. Celebrate Success. Praise every effort a child makes to serve others. Frequently good grades and winning sport teams receive all the accolades. Celebrate acts of goodwill and kindness, too.

Simple Ways Kids Can Help in the Community Compiled by Stacie L. Martin

1. Pick up litter or pull weeds at your neighborhood playground 2. Collect stuffed animals for police, fire, and EMS to give to children 3. Rake leaves or shovel snow for an elderly neighbor 4. Make blankets for a women’s shelter or homeless shelter 5. Make cards for people in hospitals or soldiers at war 6. Read to younger children 7. Plant flowers and trees in public areas 8. Visit a nursing home 9. Take soup and cookies to a sick friend 10. Donate gently-used books to needy children

Where to Start Volunteering Compiled by Mali Anderson and Stacie L. Martin

Brightside www.louisvilleky.gov/brightside/ Contact: Mary Byrne Phone Number: 502-574-2613 Working to beautify the city, Brightside encourages community members to keep their streets clean. Given two weeks’ notice, the organization will provide bags, gloves and trash pick up for your family to organize a neighborhood clean up. The non-profit organization will also take extra plants if you are thinning your garden and always welcomes monetary donations. Dare to Care www.daretocare.org Phone Number: 502-966-3821 When fighting hunger there is always a need for volunteers and food donations. Best ways for kids to get involved? Organize a food drive at school, church, neighborhood or civic group. Fill out the Food Drive Form on the website. EDGE Ministries www.edgeoutreach.com Contact: Pam Pusty Phone: 568-6342 Minimum Age: None Kids 12 and over can assist with Indiana vision clinics, learn how to do water installations, assist with setting up hand pump repair classes, and learn front–office skills. Children under 12 can help, too, by organizing a shoe drive – collecting new and used shoes for the ongoing Shoeman Water Project. Jefferson Memorial Forest www.louisvilleky.gov/metroparks/parks/ jeffersonmemorialforest Contact: Sherry Wright Phone Number: 502-380-1753 or sherry.wright@ louisvilleky.gov Many volunteers are needed to maintain trails, keep land healthy, and provide nature education programs. With parents, children of all ages can assist on scheduled clean ups. And children 8 and up can work alongside their parents on trail project days. Boy and girl scouts regularly garden, paint and construct benches, bridges and signs for the forest. Kentucky Humane Society www.kyhumane.org Contact: Jennifer Clark Phone Number: 515-3145 Minimum Age: None Kids of all ages can help! Teens (ages 14–17 and with a completed application) exercise and socialize puppies and kittens, spot–clean kennels, and assist with feeding. Kids ages 10 to 13 and accompanied by adult can give treats and toys to puppies, kittens, cats and dogs. Kids 9 and younger can help at home by gathering items for wish list, organizing a ‘wish list’ donation drive, and creating dog and cat toys and dog bandanas.

Louisville Free Public Library www.lfpl.org Contact: Heather Sellers Phone: 574-1620 Minimum Age: 12 Kids can assist with preparing storytime craft supplies and cleaning up, creating displays, discarding books, and decorating for library events. Louisville Metro Animal Services www.louisvilleky.gov/AnimalServices/ Contact: Karen Dickson Phone Number: 502-574-5556 Minimum Age: 15 Louisville Metro Animal Services accepts teenage volunteers with parents. Also, books that promote kindness to animals are welcome resources for their future education center and donations of KONG toys and peanut butter can soothe kenneled dogs. Louisville Science Center www.louisvillescience.org Contact: Julie Downard Phone: 560-7143 Minimum Age: High School Teens can work in exhibit halls, IMAX Theatre, and the gift shop. They greet and assist guests and assist with workshop camps. (Summer volunteers may be 8th graders who will enter high school in the fall.) Louisville Zoo www.louisvillezoo.org/ Contact: Coordinator of Volunteers Diane Taylor at mary.taylor@louisvilleky.gov. Minimum Age: 13 The Louisville Zoo welcomes teenage volunteers. Recruitment begins in January and participants must be 13 before June 2011 to be eligible for the summer team. Looking to get involved with a younger child? Check out the Louisville Zoo wish list at www. louisvillezoo.org/support/wishlist.htm Norton Healthcare www.nortonhealthcare.com Phone: 629-1234 Minimum Age: 13 Kids can assist on nursing units, read to patients, deliver mail, greet and escort patients and guests, and work in the nutrition department and volunteer office.

Fiscal Responsibility with a Touch of Magic By John G. Warren

The dinner table went silent when my daughter asked, “Daddy, is Santa and Mrs. Claus suffering from Manic Recession? Do they have a Forced Closer problem like I hear on TV?” Apparently the Cartoon Network is running bankruptcy and debt consolidation advertisements. All eyes looked at me as I tabled my fork and readied my reply. “Of course not. In the magical world of the North Pole they don’t worry of such things, and neither should you.” As we continued with dinner, the wheels started turning in my head with the yearly worry: how in the world are we going to pay for Christmas? This post–Labor Day worry is an annual affliction my wife and I endure. Her eyes met mine with a look of concern. I could read her mind: how in the world are we going to pay for a new roof with Christmas right around the corner? Annually we wait in angst for the dreaded Christmas list to come forth, the one fueled by the same TV stations trying to target the foreclosed people sleeping in their cars. Every year it’s something else, something I’m sure the local toy superstore will sell out of till next year. Something the girls just have to have to survive in the feudal world of grammar school. Some toy or game that I will just despise myself if I can’t get my hands on. I just try to be positive and remember that somehow it always works out. When you get up, go to work and try to do the next right thing, Santa always seems to make it happen on Christmas morning. This became clear when my inquisitive daughter added, “Daddy, please find a way to fix the roof. It needs to be able to support a sleigh full of toys and eight, possibly nine, reindeer.” John G. Warren, 47, lives in Louisville with his wife Cheri and daughters Mary (9), Anna (7), and Emily (3). He is a frequent contributor for Today’s Family.