Book ‘No Longer Two’ helps couples
BY TRACY HOUSE
Jennifer Miller wants to help empower couples by providing a guide to a how to have a happy and successful faith-based marriage.
Miller has been a therapist for 11 years and a pastor for eight. Through her experiences she’s spoken to many couples about relationships and started to notice patterns.
“The more that I started to research and back up what I was sensing in people and the message I was giving them, both as a therapist and a pastor, my husband kept encouraging me to write everything down. It’s been a collection of information, insights and wisdom I’ve gained over the past decade,” she says.
She finally sat down last year and let all that knowledge and experience flow into the book “No Longer Two: A Guide to How God Created Men, Women and Marriage.”
She says jokingly, “This is probably thousands of dollars’ worth of therapy in a $10 book. It’s everything I’ve ever told anybody about relationships.”
Miller says she started to notice that women were complaining about the same things about their husbands, and men were complaining about the same things about their wives.
“When I started listening, I started to realize what they were complaining about is that they were married to a man or that they were married to a woman. It wasn’t this specific man, it was just that
he was acting like a man and she didn’t understand that men are different than women and vice versa.”
She says in a lot of instances she found herself explaining the basic gender differences to people. “That was all it took for light bulbs to go off and for them to realize ‘I need to quit expecting my spouse to think exactly like I did, to react to life the way I do.’”
Miller backs up the differences she presents with brain science explaining women live life emotionally and men tend to be more aware of the external and focused on the task and getting things done. “If you think about women coming from the internal place and men coming from the external place, we actually balance each other out really well, unless we attack that difference.”
She explains, “If you think about how God created us to be in families and be in tribes and to survive, it makes sense that’s why our brains are wired this way, and why we would be inclined to have these different abilities and different perspectives and how the Divine is actually genius. We’re all meant to make each other stronger, but we get in the way of that when we start attaching values and judging each other for being different.”
Helping couples to understand differences and turn toward each other instead of against one another is what Miller is hoping to accomplish with her book and through her marriage retreat. She says the book is meant for single
people as well as married people. Because of the feedback she’s received, Miller has also developed three free study guides for the book; One for singles, one for dating or engaged couples and another for married couples.
Couples don’t have to read the book together, Miller says. “It’s really about understanding yourself and then learning to appreciate your spouse, realizing how your differences are meant to come together.”
She states, “The book is called ‘No Longer Two’ because the key to marriage is oneness—figuring out how we fit together and work together. It is shifting from being about ‘me’ to being about ‘we.’”
Miller and her husband will be hosting a No Longer Two Marriage Retreat Aug. 15 through Aug. 17 in Oracle. The Christianbased retreat will be limited to 10 couples to keep it personal and intimate.
“We really want to bring what is written on the page and bring it to life,” Miller says. “My husband and I are coleading it, so it’s going to be designed for a couple to learn together but then experience something as a large group and then have opportunities to break off and do something, just the two of them to reinforce and bring to life that experience.”
Miller is the co-executive director of The Center for Living Well, a nonprofit Christ-centered wellness ministry that offers programs that helps people find health and healing in mind, body, heart and spirit. The Center for Living Well is
AUTHOR, AUTHOR: Jennifer Miller, author of “No Longer Two: A Guide to How God Created Men, Women and Marriage,” is married to her high school sweetheart, Brandon, and lives in Chandler with their two boys, Nathaniel and Samuel. Submitted photo
located at 1655 W. Chandler Blvd., Suite 5, Chandler.
“No Longer Two: A Guide to How God Created Men, Women and Marriage” is available on Amazon.com. For more information about the book, the retreat or The Center for Living Well, visit www. centerforlivingwell.org or www.nolonger2. com.
Tracy House is the news editor for the SanTan Sun News. She can be reached at tracy@santansun.com.
Spiritual Reflections
Share your spiritual reflections...
Celebrate Recovery
6 p.m. Fridays
For those with chemical dependencies or other issues. Dinner followed by meetings at 7 p.m. Dinner: $3 adult, $1 child. Free child care for children ages 12 and younger. Chandler Christian Church, Room B200 1825 S. Alma School Rd., Chandler Info: (480) 963-3997, www.chandlercc.org
The spiritual leaders of SanTan Sun-area churches, temples, mosques and other religious and spiritual gathering places are invited to contribute their Spiritual Reflections in essay format by sending their thoughts, enlightening insights and other writings of a spiritual nature to news@santansun.com.
Be certain to put “Spiritual Reflections submission” in the subject line, and keep your articles around 200-300 words, or they may be edited for length. Include your first and last name, title and facility name, address, phone number and website.
Spiritual Reflections are printed on a space-available basis, and submission does not guarantee print. The opinions represented in this column are those of the author and not that of the SanTan Sun News.
Chandler Yoga for Food 6 p.m. Tuesdays
All faiths, backgrounds, ages, and skill levels welcome. Yoga and stretching hosted by the Rev. Dr. Kristin Longenecker from Jacob’s Well United Methodist Church and led via Skype by Yogi Sheila Lively from www.StepLivelyNowllc.com. Guests should bring mat and water and wear comfortable clothes. Admission: $3 or three cans or boxes of food to be donated to the Food Bank at Chandler Christian Community Center. No previous yoga experience necessary. Accompanying children can use Xtreme Air during yoga session for $5. Xtreme Air Jump ‘N Skate 910 E. Pecos Rd., Chandler Info: kristin@jacobswellumc.org
Christian Business Networking, TriCity Chapter – Chandler, Tempe, Mesa 7:15 a.m. Tuesdays
Offers members the opportunity to share ideas, contacts and business referrals.
Crackers and Co. Café
535 W. Iron Ave., Mesa Info: Maia, (480) 425-0624, www. christianbusinessnetworking.com
Christian Business Networking, Chandler Bi-Monthly Chapter
7:30 a.m. second and fourth Tuesdays of the month Offers members the opportunity to share ideas, contacts and business referrals.
Chandler Christian Church, Room C100 1825 S. Alma School Rd., Chandler Info: Maia, (480) 425-0624, www. christianbusinessnetworking.com
Christian Business Networking, East Valley Chapter 7:30 a.m. Wednesdays Offers members the opportunity to share ideas, contacts and business referrals.
Mission Church Seminar Room
4450 E. Elliot Rd., Gilbert Info: Maia, (480) 425-0624, www. christianbusinessnetworking.com
East Valley JCC Parent and Child Playgroup
9:30 a.m.-10:30 a.m. Fridays Playgroup for parents with children ages 12 months to 2-1/2 years old. East Valley JCC
908 N. Alma School Rd., Chandler Info: Emily Malin, (480) 897-0588, maline@evjcc.org
East Valley Jewish Couples Club Offers once-a-month social activities such as dining, movies, plays, etc. for Jewish couples in the 45- to 65-year-old age range.
Info: Melissa, (480) 785-0744, beadlover@cox.net
Forever Marriage Ministries Marriage Restoration Support Group for Wives
7 p.m.-9 p.m. Mondays
Support group for wives committed to their marriages. Offering hope, encouragement, biblical truths, fellowship and prayers to stand together for the restoration of marriage.
Sozo Coffee House, private room
1982 N. Alma School Rd., Chandler Info: Lisa (602) 377-8847, Marriage@ lisacmyers.com, www.lisacmyers.com, www.facebook.com/forevermarriages.
Free Beginning Guitar Classes
6 p.m. Mondays
Jonathan Crissman, Arizona State University doctoral guitar student and Jacob’s Well United Methodist Church worship leader, teaches this free class for beginners. Classes for intermediate students are also available for a modest fee.
Gangplank Chandler 260 S. Arizona Ave., Chandler Info: jonathancrissman@hotmail.com
Chandler United Methodist Church
SUNDAY WORSHIP Traditional Worship.............8:30 a.m. and 10:00 a.m. SUNDAY SCHOOL For Children........................8:40 a.m. and 10:10 a.m.
Grief Care
6:30 p.m. Wednesdays
A place to come share your feelings or just listen to others as we try to navigate through our grief. You don’t have to do it alone.
Epiphany Lutheran Church, south campus old church building 800 W. Ray Rd., Room 325, Chandler, a quarter mile south of Alma School Road on the north side of Ray Road. Info: www.griefcareaz@gmail.com
Grief Share
6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m. Tuesdays
A combination seminar and support group that meets weekly with people who understand because they have “been there” themselves. Fee for materials is $15, but scholarships are available.
Holy Trinity Lutheran Church 739 W. Erie St., Chandler Info: (480) 963-4127, www.htlutheran. com
H.O.P.E. – Help Overcoming Painful
Experiences
7 p.m. Tuesdays
Free weekly small-group sessions helping people overcome emotional pain caused by divorce, grief, addictions and more; free child care for children ages 10 and younger.
Desert Springs Church, Room 106 19620 S. McQueen Rd., Chandler Info: hope4all@comcast.net, www. helpovercomingpainfulexperiences.org
Jewish Women International, Avodah Chapter 1581
Monthly luncheon
Iguana Mack’s 1371 N. Alma School Rd., Chandler RSVP: (480) 802-9304, (480) 655-8812
JumpStart
11:45 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Saturdays
JumpStart is a sidewalk Sunday school community outreach program serving “some of the poorest neighborhoods” in Chandler, offering snacks, games and teachings about Jesus to area children.
Participants meet at Faith Family Church
11530 E. Queen Creek Rd., Chandler Info: Joanne Sweeney, (480) 539-8933
Kid’s Sunday School
10 a.m.-11 a.m. Sundays
Unity of Chandler
325 N. Austin Dr., Suite 4, Chandler Info: (480) 792-1800, www. unityofchandler.org
WebXtra: For a complete list of Spiritual Connections, SanTan Sun area monthly support groups, study groups and spiritually stimulating meetings, visit SanTanSun.com and click on “Spirituality.” WebXtra:
Worship: 10 a.m. Sunday
Hamilton High School Auditorium 3700 S. Arizona Ave. www.loc-az.org480-899-1400
