Helping frightened kids get through the scariest of holidays
By Alison Stanton
When Hunter Melone was 2 1/2, he was startled by a Halloween decoration at a local big-box home improvement store.
“This particular scary man was in a random area by the patio furniture by the front of the store and would lean in and scare anyone that walked by,” said Carly Melone, Hunter’s mom.
“Hunter was traumatized by this and now that he’s 7 he will still talk about ‘the scary man’ as if he’s there every time and not just at Halloween.”
Hunter’s experience with the spooky decoration also caused him to be terrified of Halloween decorations at the grocery store and other big-box stores, said Carly, who lives with her family in Chandler.
Dr. Daniel Merrill, medical director of the department of psychiatry at Chandler Regional and Mercy Gilbert medical centers, said childhood fears of scary costumes and Halloween displays can definitely be a typical and understandable response in young children who are still developing neurologically.
While adults are usually able to calm themselves by reminding themselves “I know that’s not a real skeleton because it’s made from plastic,” young kids’ brains are not quite there yet, he said.
“The sense of fear arises from a part of the brain called the amygdala, and the soothing thought originates from a part of the brain called the hippocampus,” Merrill said.
talk with their son or daughter about the skeleton in a safe place, like the home.
“Explain why it is not real, why it is used in displays and why Halloween is celebrated,” he said.
Parents can also try showing a picture of the display skeleton to their child while in the safe environment, or even bringing it home for the child to experience while feeling safe.
“Finally, they can take a field trip to the store to look at the display that initially caused the fear,” he said.
“Keep in mind that child development is highly individual, so parents should not force the steps.”
Ruth Lucas, a professional consultant, author and life coach from Chandler, said parents should also acknowledge their child’s fear and respond as if it’s normal.
“Halloween images may frighten children as they have a well developed fear response from the amygdala but have not yet fully developed the soothing thought response from the hippocampus.”
To help children who are scared of Halloween decorations, costumes and more, Merrill said parents can try gently and incrementally exposing their child to whatever is frightening him or her.
As an example, for a child who will not go near a display of plastic skeletons at the grocery store, Merrill said parents should
“Empathy and validation that it’s a normal response is essential. These things are designed to be scary,” she said.
Parents can also share stories about what scared them when they were younger as well as what they did to feel better.
They can also take advantage of their child’s imagination by asking him or her to be creative and suggest things that would help him or her to be less scared, Lucas said.
For children who are afraid of Halloween night itself and trick-or-treating, Lucas said families should feel free to turn off the porch light, stay inside playing games and skip the costumes and candy.
Carly said while Hunter never had an issue with dressing up for trick-or-treating, she is still careful to keep anything scary out of her home.
“We have a house of cute pumpkins, ghosts and scarecrows,” she said, adding that
now that he is 7, Hunter is able to calmly point out the Halloween displays in the stores.
In some cases, Merrill said, what is frightening one year to a child will suddenly become fascinating.
“A child may be afraid of zombies this year and insist on being a zombie for Halloween next year,” he said.
And although it can be hard for parents to watch their children being frightened, Lucas said parents should remember that like many things in life, this too shall pass.
“Don’t make too big a deal out of it; it doesn’t last forever.”
Alison Stanton is a freelance writer who lives in the East Valley. She can be reached at Alison@SanTanSun.com.
RESOURCES
Websites
www.lucasseminars.com
www.parents.com/kids/development/behavioral/understanding-kid-fears
Books
“Me and My Dragon: Scared of Halloween,” by David Biedrzycki
“Noodles: I’m Not Scared,” by Hans Wilhelm
“Scared Silly: A Halloween Book for the Brave,” by Marc Brown
1, 5, 22
The Painted Pot, 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. Create a masterpiece on a clay pot. Designed for participants 15 years and older, it’s a night of art and friends. Participants must bring their own 10- to 12-inch clay pot. Environmental Education Center at Veterans Oasis Park, 4050 E. Chandler Heights Rd., Chandler. $8 to $11 registration fee. (480) 782-2900, www. chandleraz.gov/tumbleweed.
1
Discovering Outer Space, 6:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. Enjoy a journey through space and an introduction to astronomy led by an amateur astrophysicist. Take a walk through Veterans Oasis Park and explore the vast solar system we call home. The class will conclude with a telescope viewing of the night sky. Environmental Education Center at Veterans Oasis Park, 4050 E. Chandler Heights Rd., Chandler. $6 to $9 registration fee. (480) 7822900, www.chandleraz.gov/tumbleweed.
1, 6, 8, 13, 15, 20, 22, 27, 29
Tumbleweed Tumble Tots, 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. This indoor play area is designed for children 5 and younger to play under parental/guardian supervision. This fun, safe and clean area will have plenty of toys, equipment and activities that are sure to keep the kids entertained. There is a maximum of four children per adult. Tumbleweed Recreation Center, 745 E. Germann Rd., Chandler. $2 to $3 registration fee. (480) 782-2900, www.chandleraz.gov/tumbleweed.
2, 5, 7, 9, 12, 14, 16, 19, 21, 23, 26, 28, 30
Tumbleweed Tots, 12:30 p.m. to 2:30 p.m. This indoor play area is designed for children ages 5 and younger to play under parental/guardian supervision. This fun, safe and clean area will have plenty of toys, equipment and activities that are sure to keep the kids entertained. There is a maximum of four children per adult. Tumbleweed Recreation Center, 745 E. Germann Rd., Chandler. $2 to $3 registration fee. (480) 782-2900, www.chandleraz.gov/tumbleweed.
3 Introduction to Rocks and Minerals Part II—Field Trip, 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Payson is the home of the famous Payson Diamond. This daylong event of collecting crystals includes transportation and a geologist to answer questions. Bring water, snacks and wear comfortable shoes and clothing to meet any weather conditions. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Environmental Education Center at Veterans Oasis Park, 4050 E. Chandler Heights Rd., Chandler. $27 to $37 registration fee. (480) 782-2900, www. chandleraz.gov/tumbleweed.
3 Play-Well Teknologies—Bash’em Bots Using LEGO, 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. Play-Well engineering instructors will guide students in this advanced Play-Well engineering class as they re-engineer standard LEGO vehicles into mechanized machines that can traverse challenging obstacles, battle against fellow bots and take on Play-Well instructors’ colossal creations. Snedigar Recreation Center, 4500 S. Basha Rd., Chandler. $7 to $10 registration fee. (480) 7822640, www.chandleraz.gov.
3, 17, 31
Meet the Creature, 11 a.m. to 11:45 a.m. In this interactive program, children will get up
close and personal with live animals while receiving a fun lesson in wildlife rescue and conservation. Each program features different, fascinating animals from around the world. Environmental Education Center at Veterans Oasis Park, 4050 E. Chandler Heights Rd., Chandler. $6 to $9 registration fee. (480) 7822890, www.chandleraz.gov.
7 Outdoor Pizza Party, 4:30 p.m. to 6 p.m. Come out to Veterans Oasis Park for an outdoor pizza party. Everyone will bake their own pizzas in Dutch ovens and then enjoy their pizza while watching a movie. Environmental Education Center at Veterans Oasis Park, 4050 E. Chandler Heights Rd., Chandler. $12 to $16 registration fee. (480) 782-2890, www.chandleraz.gov.
7, 21
Family Night at the TRC, 5:30 p.m. to 7 p.m.
The first and third Wednesdays of the month enjoy a variety of different recreational activities and entertainment. Tumbleweed Recreation Center, 745 E. Germann Rd., Chandler. $2 to $5 registration fee. For more information contact Michael Fenzel, (480) 782-2908, www. chandleraz.gov/breaktime.
9 Halloween Crafty Workshops, 10 a.m. to 11 a.m.; 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.; 12 p.m. to 1:30 p.m.; 1:30 p.m. to 2:30 p.m.; Join us for arts and crafts with a Halloween theme. Come to one or pick a few of these fun-filled workshops. Stay for the lunch break and bring your own sack lunch. Chandler Community Center, 125 E. Commonwealth Ave., Chandler. $6 to $8 registration fee. (480) 7822727, www.chandleraz.gov/breaktime.
9, 16
Lil’ Gardener, 4 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. Make a cute apron and paint a ceramic pot while wearing your new garden fashion statement. Each class is a stand-alone class; however, a variety of aprons will be made, so feel free to sign up for multiple classes. For participants ages 7 to 13. Tumbleweed Recreation Center, 745 E. Germann Rd., Chandler. $8 to $11 registration fee. (480) 782-2900, www.chandleraz.gov/ tumbleweed.
9, 16, 17, 26
Science Matters Super Science Show, 4:30 p.m. to 6 p.m. Science Matters needs your help to solve the mystery of the missing mascot. Use forensic science skills to solve the mystery and become a chemical detective. Become a Science Super Sleuth. Chandler Community Center, 125 E. Commonwealth Ave., Chandler. $2 to $3 registration fee. (480) 782-2727, www.chandleraz.gov.
9 Stars, Songs and S’mores, 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. Participants will enjoy a hike, stargazing, songs around the campfire and s’mores. Wear good walking shoes and dress for the weather. Environmental Education Center at Veterans Oasis Park, 4050 E. Chandler Heights Rd., Chandler. $8 to $11 registration fee. (480) 7822890, www.chandleraz.gov.
10 Chandler Scout Jamboree, 8 a.m. to 12 p.m.
will be hosting the second
Girl Scouts, families, homeschool groups and anyone who has an interest in learning new skills and meeting new people, ages 8-12. Skill stations and activities will be run by local scout troops. Veterans Oasis Park’s Environmental Education Center, 4050 E. Chandler Heights Rd., Chandler. $3 to $5 registration fee. For more information contact Michael Ballard, (480) 782-2895, www.chandleraz.gov/eec.
10
Donuts and Dads, 9 a.m. to 9:45 a.m. What’s more fun than baking donuts with your dad? Mixing up the batter, baking and decorating these fun treats. Tumbleweed Recreation Center, 745 E. Germann Rd., Chandler. $6 to $9 registration fee. (480) 782-2900, www.chandleraz.gov.
14, 17
Mommy and Me—Trick or Treat Bag, 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. Make your very own trick or treat bag for Halloween. Instructors will start with a basic cloth bag and then decorate it with Halloween elements and add your name. Tumbleweed Recreation Center, 745 E. Germann Rd., Chandler. $9 to $13 registration fee. (480) 7822900, www.chandleraz.gov.
14, 28
Milkshakes with Moms, 6 p.m. to 6:45 p.m. Come make milkshakes with your mom. Participants will create these tasty treats and spend time together. Tumbleweed Recreation Center, 745 E. Germann Rd., Chandler. $6 to $9 registration fee. (480) 782-2900, www. chandleraz.gov.
15
Community Nights in the Courtyard, 5:30 p.m. to 7 p.m. Learn simple techniques for making masks and Halloween decorations. Chandler Community Center, 125 E. Commonwealth Ave., Chandler. $2 to $5 registration fee. For more information call Shawn Peoples, (480) 7822746, www.chandleraz.gov.
16
Come Alive Storytime with Ms. Diana— Nature Edition, 9:30 a.m. to 10:15 a.m. Music and stories are an important part of shaping a child’s life. Through interactive stories, music, games and drama, Ms. Diana builds a positive attitude, character, self-esteem and values. Environmental Education Center at Veterans Oasis Park, 4050 E. Chandler Heights Rd., Chandler. $6 to $9 registration fee. (480) 7822890, www.chandleraz.gov.
16
Teen Pizza Taste Off, 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. Pizza shops throughout Chandler are invited to participate in this ultimate taste test. More than 100 pizza-loving teens are expected to attend. Hamilton Library, 3700 S. Arizona Ave., Chandler. Free admission. (480) 782-2832.
16
Halloween Crafts, 1 p.m. to 2:30 p.m. Make a spooky candle holder, decorate some Halloween cards and a few other fun crafts. Chandler Community Center, 125 E. Commonwealth Ave., Chandler. $8 to $11 registration fee. (480) 7822746, www.chandleraz.gov.
16 Friday Feeding Frenzy. 3:30 p.m. to 4 p.m. Join the EEC staff for a live animal feeding. Meet the animals in the nature center and learn about their diets. Veterans Oasis Park’s Environmental Education Center, 4050 E. Chandler Heights Rd., Chandler. Free. (480) 782-2890, www.chandleraz.gov/eec.
17 Flowers—Junior Badge, 8:30 a.m. to 10 a.m. Discover the world of flowers. Learn how to identify and preserve flowers while also discovering their purposes and uses for people and animals. This class is open to everyone and
a nature walk outdoors is included at Veterans Oasis Park. Environmental Education Center at Veterans Oasis Park, 4050 E. Chandler Heights Rd., Chandler. $8 to $11 registration fee. (480) 782-2890, www.chandleraz.gov.
17
Muffins and Moms, 9 a.m. to 9:45 a.m. Come make muffins with your mom. Mix up batter, bake these tasty treats and enjoy spending time together. Tumbleweed Recreation Center, 745 E. Germann Rd., Chandler. $6 to $9 registration fee. (480) 782-2900, www.chandleraz.gov.
19, 26
Chefs in the Making, 4 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. Make a cute apron and then cook something yummy while wearing your new kitchen fashion statement. Tumbleweed Recreation Center, 745 E. Germann Road, Chandler. $8 to $11 registration fee. (480) 782-2900, www. chandleraz.gov.
19, 26
Upcycled Headbands, 6 p.m. to 7 p.m. Have a favorite T-shirt that you can no longer wear? Upcycle it into two stylish headbands by using a Celtic knot and a five-strand braid. Participants should bring at least one T-shirt and scissors. Tumbleweed Recreation Center, 745 E. Germann Rd., Chandler. $6 to $9 registration fee. (480) 782-2900, www.chandleraz.gov.
19
Introduction to Fossil Identification Part I, 6 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. Most of Arizona was covered 300 million years ago by a shallow inland sea that left behind thousands of marine fossils. Learn about how fossils form and what types are common to Arizona. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Environmental Education Center at Veterans Oasis Park, 4050 E. Chandler Heights Rd., Chandler. $8 to $11 registration fee. (480) 7822890, www.chandleraz.gov.
21
Desserts with Dads, 6 p.m. to 6:45 p.m. What’s more fun than making yummy treats with your dad? Spending time together and making fun desserts. Tumbleweed Recreation Center, 745 E. Germann Rd., Chandler. $6 to $9 registration fee. (480) 782-2900, www.chandleraz.gov.
23
Bikes, Bounce and Boogie, 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. Come enjoy bikes, pedal cars, trikes, pedal push cars and a bounce house and music. Tumbleweed Recreation Center, 745 E. Germann Rd., Chandler. Pre-registration fee required. (480) 782-2900, www.chandleraz.gov.
23 TR Halloween Dance, 6:30 p.m. to 9 p.m.
Come show off your costume and dance the night away at our annual dance. See friends from all over the Valley and visit the
Apple Dumpling Café
3076 E. Chandler Heights Rd., Suite 101, Gilbert (480) 279-3879, www.
appledumplingcafe.com.
Mondays are family value night, when kids eat free with each adult meal purchase of $6.95 or more. Ice cream happy hour is 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday, when kids buy one ice cream or dessert and get one free.
Chompie’s
3481 W. Frye Rd., Chandler (480) 398-3008
www.chompies.com
Children 10 and younger receive one free item from the kids’ meal menu with an adult meal purchase of $8 or more on Tuesdays. Dine-in only.
Copper Still Moonshine Grill
2531 S. Gilbert Rd., Suite 101, Gilbert (480) 656-1476 www.
CopperStillMoonshineGrill.com
Kids ages 10 and younger eat for free on Tuesdays with the purchase of an adult meal.
Dilly’s Deli
2895 S. Alma School Rd., Suite 5, Chandler (480) 722-0645 www.dillysdeli.com
