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AWSUM News By Joanne Barker
WHAT TO FIND INSIDE AWSUM Kombuis
NEWS
AUGUST 2014
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PRIMARY & HIGH SCHOOLS
Your child isnât a little kid anymore. He or she is a teen, or a tween â and itâs time to tweak your parenting skills to keep up with them. Yes, theyâre probably moodier now than when they were young. And you have new things to think about, like curfews, dating, new drivers, and friends who make you raise your eyebrows. No doubt about it: Your teen, or tween, will test your limits, and your patience. But theyâre still your child. And, though they wonât admit it, they still need you ⊠The key is knowing what efforts are worth it, and which ones backfire. 1. EXPECTING THE WORST Teenagers get a bad rap. Many parents approach raising teenagers as an ordeal, believing they can only watch helplessly as their lovable children transform into unpredictable monsters. But that sets you â and your teen â up for several unhappy, unsatisfying years together. The message we give teenagers is that theyâre only âgoodâ if theyâre not doing âbadâ things â such as doing drugs, hanging around with the wrong crowd, or having sex. Instead focus on your childâs interests and hobbies, even if you donât understand them. You could open a new path of communication, reconnect with the child you love, and learn something new. 2. READING TOO MANY PARENTING BOOKS Rather than trusting their instincts, many parents turn to outside experts for advice on how to raise teens. Parents can tie themselves into knots trying to follow the advice they read in books. Itâs not that parenting books are bad. But rather use books to get perspective on confusing behavior, and then put the book down and trust that youâve learned what you need to learn. Get clear about what matters most to you and your family. 3. SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF Maybe you donât like your tween daughterâs haircut or choice of clothes. Or perhaps she didnât get the part in the play you know she deserves. But before you step in, look at the big picture. Challenge yourself to step back and let your child know youâre there for them.
4. IGNORING THE BIG STUFF If you suspect your child is using alcohol or drugs, do not look the other way. Even if itâs âjustâ alcohol â or even if it reminds you of your own youth â you must take action now, before it becomes a bigger problem. Watch for unexplained changes in your teenâs behavior, appearance, academic performance, and friends. And remember, itâs not just illicit drugs that are abused now â prescription drugs and even cough medicines and household products are also in the mix. Take these signs seriously and get involved. Safeguard all the medicines you have. Know which products are in your home and how much medication is in each package or bottle. 5. TOO MUCH â OR TOO LITTLE â DISCIPLINE Some parents, sensing a loss of control over their teensâ behavior, crack down every time their child steps out of line. Others avoid all conflict for fear their teens will push them away. You donât have to do either of those things. Itâs about finding a balance between obedience and freedom. As their parent, itâs up to you to set your familyâs core values and communicate them through your words and actions. Thatâs being an authoritative parent, an approach that helps children develop the skills they need to govern themselves in appropriate ways. Remember, your influence runs deeper than you may think. Most teens say they want to spend more time with their parents. Keep making time for your child throughout the tween and teen years. Even when it doesnât show, you provide the solid ground they know they can always come home to.