Wellspring Issue #99 by The Wellspring

PESACH ISSUE

APRIL 2024 // NISSAN 5784 // ISSUE 99

Too Much of a Good Thing

Crunch Time

The doctor took one look at my results and referred me straight to the leukemia ward

Ask Laura Shammah Which foods might be triggering my psoriasis flareups?

Homemade veggie chips your family won’t get enough of

Torah Wellspring

Vehigadeta Levincha How we view our children makes an indelible impact on their nefesh

Citrus and Wine Riblets over Tricolored Carrot Puree on the menu

Tissues, Tissues, and Then Some More

Fascinating Survey!

When Bottle Is Better

LIBERATION IN THE LAB

Wellspring’s Community chimes in on hay fever

Lactation consultant Raizy Janklowicz’s advice to overwhelmed nursing mothers

US $9.99 // CALIFORNIA $12.50 CANADA $13.00 // UK £9.00 ISRAEL ₪36.00

Rich in Color, Flavor, and... Nutrients

What contributes most to your feeling of cheirus on Pesach? +100 Samples give us a glimpse into their Yom Tov experience

Inner Parenting

The one message that makes our child feel whole

Seventh Day, Second Meal

How My Table contributors upgrade their Pesach menu

Tune In

Matzah consumption leaves me feeling uncomfortable

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COPY & RESEARCH

Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC

Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson

$99.00

Proofreaders Faige Badian • Meira Lawrence

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FOOD CONTENT Food Editor Esther Frenkel Recipes Yossi & Malky Levine Charnie Kohn Elky Friedman Styling & Photography Malky Levine Charnie Kohn Pessi Piller ART & PRODUCTION Cover Design Aryeh Epstein Designer Rivky Schwartz Digital Media Rivkah Shanowitz ADVERTISING Executive Account Manager Goldy Kolman 718-412-3309 Ext.2 ads@wellspringmagazine.com SUBSCRIPTION 718-437-0761 subscribe@wellspringmagazine.com DISTRIBUTION Weekly Publications INC. 347-782-5588

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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

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CONTENTS

APRIL 2024 NISSAN 5784 ISSUE 99 Our next issue will appear on Wednesday, May 22nd iy"H.

WELL INFORMED 18

Springboard

Spiritual Eating

Torah Wellspring

Health Updates

LIVING WELL 40 Fitness

58 94

Ask the Nutritionist

FYI

Community

Medical Saga

Sample

Cup of Tea

Serial Diary

DIY

WELLBEING 94

Mom-Care

Tap In

Inner Parenting

FAREWELL

105 SEASONED 10

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130 Holistic Torah Wellspring will return next month.

If we only checked you r eyes witho ut offering vision thera py or an eyewear bou tique...

‫☞ ַּד�ֵּּי ּ �נו‬ If we settled for just one healthcare c enter offerin g basic needs...

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If we stoppe d at 4 centers , a mobile, an d a location upstate but didn't provid e specialized se rvices...

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If we had off ered service s like dermatology , immunity, and genera l surgery but skipped specialties lik e fertility and oncology...

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If we provid ed physical, occupationa l, speech therapies, an d hyperbaric oxygen therapy but neglected m ental health...

‫☞ ַּד�ֵּּי ּ �נו‬

If we offere d psycholog y, psychiatr y, and social work but omitted a rehabilitatio n gym or a pool...

‫☞ ַּד�ֵּּי ּ �נו‬ If we constantly implemente d new machines but didn’t seek new m odalities for healing...

‫☞ ַּד�ֵּּי ּ �נו‬

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EDITOR'S NOTE

Leaving the Rut

n preparation for this special Pesach issue, I was brainstorming Sample ideas with our dedicated deputy editor and popular columnist Libby Silberman. Whole-wheat matzah over spelt? Light grape juice over regular? We combed through all the typical Pesach-oriented potential topics that would lend themselves to a quantifiable study in the Lab, but none were especially intriguing. And then, I had a thought. This was the Pesach issue we were prepping for—a Yom Tov that is less about our redemption from the shackles of physical slavery and more about our extrication from a spiritual rut. In Sample, we’ve covered a plethora of quantifiable topics over the years: hydration, fermenting, sprouting, teas, and abstinence from sugar are just some of the subjects of informative studies that were brought to you, all geared toward fortifying physical health. How about, in honor of Pesach, the Lab would go spiritual? How about, for a refreshing change so aligned with Wellspring values, we’d experiment with a variable that isn’t necessarily quantifiable, but is certainly saturated with quality? And so, in this issue, among many other fabulous articles—both Pesach-related and general—you’ll find an illuminating Sample survey in which over one hundred women from around the world chime in with their take on how they feel cheirus on Pesach. While the findings didn’t take us by surprise, and certainly confirmed our hypothesis, it was fascinating to gather them from women spanning the gamut of ages, stages, locations, socioeconomic levels, personality types, and so on. So, according to the survey results, what does simchas Yom Tov boil down to at the end of the day? In line with the Pesach message (spoiler alert!), we found it to be less about the physical comforts and so much more about the spiritual connection. And at the root of that is this

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2024

variable: How willing am I to let go of expectations, of my human plans and visions, and invite the Master Plan into my life? That’s a tough avodah, no doubt. It’s avodas perach, indeed. The kind of work that needs constant practice, constant exercise. In this soul-building gym that is life, we find ourselves constantly bombarded with opportunities to flex those surrender muscles and sweat our way through to the finish line, only to be faced with the next obstacles course up ahead.

etting go is not only about accepting external circumstances, starting with the cleaning help’s departure for the month of Nissan (personal experience!) all the way to mammoth rocks in life like illness and lack of parnassah, lo aleinu. It’s also— and often this is where the deepest challenge lies—in accepting ourselves. At this time of year, many of the seminary girls I work with in my capacity as an emotional hand-holder have returned to their families in chutz la’aretz for Yom Tov. Each of these young women have done incredible inner work over the past few months, investing in their nefesh and developing a more self-aware, regulated emotional core. But what was my message to them before leaving? True cheirus is when we free ourselves of expectations, especially expectations of the self. A young woman—or anyone who’s been focused on self-development, might say to herself, “I’ve worked so hard on developing a more resilient self, so why am I feeling resentful/anxious/alone/disillusioned?” In the same vein, a mother who invests herself in her parenting might look at herself and her behaviors on Erev Yom Tov or after a long day of giving, giving, giving and wonder, “How is it that I’ve turned into this monster here?” A wife for

whom shalom bayis is a top priority might harbor similar sentiments when she finds herself withdrawing or feeling critical of her husband. An individual who’s been sweating to improve their relationship with a parent or other relative might berate themselves for appearing to have regressed to “square one” over Yom Tov. The underlying theme in all of these deprecatory questions to the self is, “I expect more of you! You’ve disappointed me.” Of course, we always want to keep investing in ourselves and learning from our mistakes, but if we want to feel true cheirus, on Pesach and always, the key lies in letting go of expectations. Yes, it would be so nice if that relative at the Seder table would be less explosive, if the atmosphere at the place where we’re spending Pesach would be more relaxed, if the kids would fight less or help more…For sure, but the less we expect of others and ourselves (and the more we cut ourselves slack for being human)—all of which boils down to letting Hakadosh Baruch Hu run the show—the higher the chances of us experiencing the joy of Yom Tov, at least internally. Just as we parents often tell our kids on Chol Hamoed— “The less you expect, the less you set yourselves up for disappointment”—it’s a message we want to absorb in our bones, as well. How freeing it feels to take a deep breath, open up those tight inner spaces, and just let go, let go… Wishing all of you a true simchas Yom Tov in every way,

n a m d e i r F y f f i h S WELL- PUT “An individual needs to recognize their inner wisdom in order to be able to respect themselves.”

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On Tongue Tie, Knee Pain, Gestational Diabetes, and More

All the Difference Issue #35: Cover Feature

As a longtime Wellspring fan, I had a real nachas moment the other day. Sitting in the waiting room of maxillofacial and oral surgeon Dr. Scott Siegel in Manhattan, waiting for my newborn baby’s tongue tie to be clipped, look what I spotted on the wall! (See photo below.) Proudly displayed on a beautiful large plaque was an interview conducted by Shiffy Friedman for Wellspring magazine in January 2019,

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2024

titled “Untangling the Truth About Tongue Tie.” When I mentioned this shoutout to Dr. Siegel, telling him that I’m an avid reader of the magazine, he told me that many a mother from our community has already shared similar sentiments and that many have reached out to him thanks to that original article. May your positive influence continue to spread far and wide. Keep up your incredible work for the klal! R. S. Brooklyn, New York

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Quick Question

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Answered by Miriam Schweid, Health Kinesiologist

Question: I need help with food intolerances that my kids exhibit—especially on Pesach—primarily toward grape juice and matzah. Two of my kids usually develop hives after the Seder and I don’t know how to treat that. They also experience severe itching and have a hard time sleeping for a few days after leil haSeder.

Answer: If your kids are participating fully in the Seder, four cups of grape juice can be a lot for a child who has an intolerance to grapes, acid, or sweet drinks. Buy light or white grape juice and have them use the smallest size cup that complies with halachic requirements. Another idea is to have the child drink 2–3 ounces of grape juice a day in the week leading up to Pesach to build up their tolerance level. To help the body digest other foods, like matzah, have the child take a kosher-for-Pesach enzyme starting a few days before Yom Tov. Also, it’s important not to eat and drink at the same time, but to wait at least an hour after a meal before drinking. According to the Rambam, fluids interfere with the digestive process so it’s best to avoid them as much as possible during the meal.

Question: My daughter gets strep often and can sometimes develop severe itching and hives as a side effect of the antibiotics. When I reported this to the pediatrician, he switched her to another medication, but that didn’t seem to help. His advice is to give her Benadryl. Is there anything else I can try to prevent or treat these symptoms?

Answer: When a child’s immunity is low, such as when they’re fighting an infection like strep, they’re more prone to exhibiting an allergic reaction. I would recommend boosting the child’s immune system with nutritional supplements. Regarding treating the allergic reaction, try to do so with homeopathic remedies such as apis mel, urtica urens, and arsenicum.

Compression Is Key Issue #98: Community

Regarding the reader who asked for suggestions for dealing with knee pain, one reader recommended the acronym RICE, which stands for rest, ice, compression, and elevation. While I have found all four

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2024

interventions to be helpful, nothing beats the power of good compression. In my case, my knee pain is primarily due to fluid buildup in the knee area, so wearing a good compression bandaid wrapped around both knees, especially when I know I’ll be on my feet for a long time, works absolute wonders for me. It’s an invisible intervention that takes almost no

effort on my part—I simply wrap it around in the morning before getting dressed, and on the days I wear it I’m a different person. M. Koenig

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Pairing Plays a Role Issue #98: FYI

As someone who’s personally familiar with gestational diabetes— I’ve had it with all five of my pregnancies—I appreciated the wellwritten, well-rounded piece on the condition by Faigy Schonfeld. One piece of advice I’d like to share— which women in this situation can bring up with their dietitians—is that often it’s not so much about the food we’re eating per se as much as the food combinations. If you’re eating a carb, for example, pair it with fiber and protein to balance out glucose levels. It’s something worth exploring with a dietitian and has helped me maintain a balanced diet through the pregnancies and to keep the sugar levels in check, baruch Hashem. Many thanks publication,

for

wonderful

month being focused on refraining from them—what an avodah!—I was looking forward to the aseh tov: How should I respond to a child’s expression of intense emotion? Of course, the more I paid attention, the more my motherly intuition kicked in, but I am still desperate for more clear and wise guidance on the subject matter. I’m looking forward to reading the next installment very soon! And now that I’m writing in with my kvetches, I can’t not take this opportunity to thank you for being such a life-changing presence in my life. I have found time and again that Wellspring content is just what I needed to read that particular month in my life, sometimes to an eerie extent. From the profound inspiration to practical tips to useful and delicious recipes, you’ve got us all covered in every issue. Be gebentcht, Mindy B. Far Rockaway, Queens

Chag kasher vesameiach, R. Dwek Deal, New Jersey

Anticipating the Next Step

More Relevant Than Ever Issue #40: Feature

Issue #97: Inner Parenting

I was disappointed to see that the parenting article did not appear in this month’s issue. When reading the five sur mei’ra parenting responses the previous article listed, too many of them unfortunately sounded too familiar to me…After spending the 22

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2024

This letter has been a long time in coming, but now that I’m doing some spring cleaning and treating myself by reading through back issues of your magazine—my yearly prePesach ritual, I feel compelled to stop putting off sending my feedback and to finally write to you. As an avid

Wellspring reader, I’ve been holding on to all 97 of your magazines, all neatly stored in a file cabinet in my basement. (I dutifully take them downstairs as soon as I’m done reading each.) Each issue is not only highly informative, but it contains the kind of material that is consistently relevant. Since the publication does not feature any news and barely any current-events-related content, most of the articles are just as pertinent as they were when they were first published. In some cases, they only become more relevant as life carries us into new stages and phases. So as I was treating myself to reviewing back issues in the basement one day, I came across an article that is actually more relevant to my life right now than it was when I first read it. It was a feature on the topic of bullying, masterfully written by the inimitable Shiffy Friedman. The topic has been weighing on my mind and heart over the past few weeks, as one of our sons has been going through a rough phase in cheder due to bullying, and we’ve been trying as much as possible to help him. I found the article to contain such gems and invaluable insights on this all-toocommon issue, and I immediately implemented some of the tips from the sidebar and article. It is my hope and tefillah that through my hishtadlus in investing in my relationship with my child and being there for him, he should find it within to grow and emerge a better person from this experience. With much appreciation and wishes for continued siyata diShmaya, Name withheld upon request

PSA

Natural Cleaning Agents Every time I clean my home, especially during the pre-Pesach season, I’m grateful once again to have clipped a Wellspring article from March 2019 (issue 38), in which Miriam Schweid shared recipes for natural cleaning agents. Ever since I read that article, I’ve been cleaning my home with these natural detergents. They do an incredible job at helping me keep my house sparkling, smelling delicious, and chemical-free. I’m sure other readers will enjoy getting those recipes, so here’s my request for you to feature them again.

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Shake well to integrate the corn starch. Shake before each use.

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Get in touch! Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

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SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

The Haggadah—A Textbook for Hakaras Hatov Contrasts. Details. Gifts. These three concepts form the basis of developing true and lasting appreciation. They are the bedrock of the Haggadah we read on Pesach and the foundation upon which our gratitude to Hashem is built.

First, let’s talk about contrasts. Why is this night different from all other nights? We were slaves and now we are free. We were idol worshippers and now we serve Hashem. We were destitute in Egypt and then we left with great wealth. The more we actively compare and contrast the things we have in our lives to what we had before, the greater the appreciation we’ll develop. We shouldn’t wait for those comparisons to be forced upon us, such as, G-d forbid, only valuing our health when we’re at risk of losing it.

Yisrael or had a Beis Hamikdash? When we go into a store and buy a bag of groceries that costs $18 and give the cashier a $20 bill, we say thank you when he gives us our $2 in change. Why? He owes it to us, yet we say thank you anyway because it’s the right thing to do. How much more so are we supposed to appreciate those things that are not coming to us—which is the definition of a gift. “Al achas kamah vekamah tovah kefulah umekufeles leMakom aleinu— How much more so do we owe thanks to Hashem for the unending favors!”

Next comes the emphasis on details. Were there 10 plagues in Egypt and 50 at the sea, 40 and 200, or 25 and 250? Is it just “the days of your life,” that we are commanded to remember or “all the days of your life”? Why the meticulous explanation of pasuk after pasuk starting way back with Yaakov’s relationship with Lavan and taking us all the way through the Egyptian servitude and exodus? A connoisseur of fine art notices the intricate details and deeper beauty of a painting much more than a simple passerby, who just sees a nice landscape. His appreciation, therefore, is so much greater. The more we become connoisseurs of life, the greater our love and gratitude for the Master Artist.

We can translate these lessons into practical tools to help us set appropriate boundaries around our meals during the upcoming holiday. This will allow us to have true freedom from overeating—a challenge that causes many of us to stumble during this zeman cheiruseinu.

And, of course, there’s the focus on our gifts. Would it really have been enough if Hashem had split the sea but hadn’t brought us through on dry land? Would it really have been enough to be in the desert for 40 years but not have the mahn? Would it really have been enough if we hadn’t been given Shabbos or the Torah or been brought into Eretz

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2024

First, for the contrasts. It’s a good idea to weigh yourself the morning before Pesach, write down the number, and commit to weighing yourself the day after Yom Tov is over. Especially for those who struggle with compulsive eating, the goal is to remain within a 2–3 pound range. Another idea is to try on a garment (such as a pants or dress) before Pesach, make a mental note of how it fits, and commit to trying on the same garment the morning after Yom Tov is over. Before eating each meal, think about how you’ll feel if you gain so much weight that your clothes will be tight and uncomfortable after only a little more than a week’s time. Compare the feeling of joy and success at maintaining your goals versus the few moments of palatable pleasure you’ll get

Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood. He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-5788800, email info@soveya.com, or visit www. soveya.com.

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CTIVE FE

And last, we have the gifts. What are we guaranteed in this world? Health? Prosperity? Family? Safety? The answer is nothing. No one on this planet goes to sleep at night with a contract from the Creator guaranteeing anything for the next day. Everything we receive is a gift. Therefore, we have a unique obligation to appreciate and take special care of those things Hashem has chosen to give us. If we take but a few moments before each meal to take inventory of the wonderful physical and spiritual blessings Hashem has bestowed upon us, we will have a much better mind frame to properly utilize and protect those gifts, and not to abuse them through indulgence and indifference.

Before

Next come the details. Consider how much time and preparation you and your family invest in ensuring a chametz-free home. Look at all the lists you checked off, all the kosher lePesach food you bought, the wine and shemurah matzos you made sure to get. Why are we commanded to do these things? For spring cleaning? As a chessed to the food manufacturers or matzah bakeries? Of course not. We’re obligated to create a physical environment around us that best enables us to pursue spiritual heights: to adhere to Hashem’s mitzvos, to achieve personal and national freedom from our burdens, to strengthen our emunah and hakaras hatov. Consider this before sitting down to your seudos. Use this as an incentive to take proper care of your body in order to elevate your soul—and not to rationalize having free rein with the food as a release from the tension of the intense preparations.

After

by ingesting what looks so tempting at the time but is worthless to you as soon as you swallow the last bite. As Chazal assert, the wise man is the one who sees the results of the future and uses that to motivate him in the present.

TORAH WELLSPRING By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

The Most Important People at the Seder Table Why are young children the center of attention?

Pesach is a Yom Tov that is rich with meaning, and one of its most beautiful lessons is the significant position that children hold. Pesach teaches us that children are people—not underdeveloped or less than, but people who boast a fully developed emotional world. They understand exponentially more than we might believe, and their subconscious absorbs messages that will accompany them through life. 28

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If we’re asked to name the one Yom Tov that is most child-centered, Purim might be the first that comes to mind, but in essence, it’s Pesach that takes first place. Let’s understand why children take up such a significant space on leil haSeder, but first, we need to fathom the sheer import of this special night. Of the three regalim, Pesach is considered the cornerstone. It’s the Yom Tov that requires the

most intensive preparations. While many of our hachanos may appear physical in nature, such as ridding our homes of every vestige of chameitz, they are largely symbolic of the spiritual depth of the Yom Tov. Both Shavuos and Sukkos are built around the event that we commemorate on Pesach, zeman cheiruseinu, our geulah from Mitzrayim. And the highlight of this most significant Yom Tov—the foundation within the foundation—is the first night, leil haSeder. As a matter of fact, just like builders pay meticulous attention when laying a cornerstone because it is so critical to the entire project, the way we conduct ourselves on leil haSeder is crucial because it determines the seder for all year. Having established the significance of leil haSeder, which stands at the helm of it all, we can get a glimpse into the weight a child holds in Yiddishkeit. What are we occupied with at the pinnacle of this Yom Tov, a time of heightened connection to Hakadosh Baruch Hu that is auspicious for great miracles and redemption? We’re not immersed in tefillah, as we are during the Yamim Noraim. We’re not dancing and merry, as we are on Purim. We’re also not exclusively focused on thanking and praising Hakadosh Baruch Hu, as we are on Chanukah. Rather, we’re focused on one thing: “lowering” ourselves to transmit the story of yetzias Mitzrayim to the youngest members of Klal Yisrael. Within the customs of the Seder instituted by Chazal, we find various unique behaviors, such as hiding the afikoman, dipping one food into another, and distributing nuts and sweets. The reason for it all? The kids, says the Gemara. It’s all about keeping them awake so they can tap into their natural curiosity, ask, absorb, and partake in these special moments. Vehigadeta levincha is not only about explaining to the child. It’s

also, and perhaps more importantly, about inviting his questions—giving him the space to formulate them, looking into his eye as he asks them, and only then supplying him with a response that sits well with him and his developing mind. It is specifically the little ones—whose greatness we don’t always recognize—who are the focus of our experience during one of the most exalted moments of the year. Not Only about Potential As adults, it sometimes happens that we lose sight of the value our children or students hold. Many parents and mechanchim see statements like “I see so much potential in you; you’ll grow up to be someone special one day” as communicating appreciation of the child’s worth. But seeing a child’s value is not only about believing in their potential that will hopefully come to the fore over the years. Rather, it’s about the child’s current worth in the here and now. Yes, it’s true that we wish the parents of a newborn baby at his bris that they should merit to raise him to Torah and chuppah and good deeds. There’s no denying that an ehrlich, stable adulthood is what we wish for all Yiddishe kinder—but that doesn’t diminish from their current greatness right now. The Mishnah in Avos (4:20) says that teaching a child is like inscribing a message on a clean sheet of paper. It leaves an indelible imprint that remains forever. Once a page has been tampered with, no matter how beautiful the lessons that are inscribed there, it’s no longer the same. Children have this special quality—this highly absorbent core— that can easily be overlooked, and once the window to their childhood closes, getting back to that place is virtually impossible. While a child’s cognitive world is still developing,

his nefesh is already fully developed from birth. He feels everything— when the adults around him are calm and happy, and when they’re tense and anxious; when there’s friction, and when the atmosphere is connective and light. Due to his cognitive underdevelopment, he might not have the right words to verbalize what he’s observing, or he might misinterpret the experience (such as by attributing a parent’s behavior to his own deeds or shortcomings—a very common phenomenon). But, despite his cognitive shortcomings, emotionally, he’s taking it all in—and the impact is real. To understand this best, all we need to do is rewind our own clock and allow memories of our childhood to surface. How real were those moments for us? How clear are those memories of how we were treated, the words that were said to us, the respect we absorbed? How did we feel around this adult in our life and the other? In our own little world, we were mini-adults, taking it all in. Handle with Care On Pesach, we are reminded that a child is a pure being—delicate, and highly influenced by the goings on in his life. He has questions that require answers, and a curious spirit that doesn’t stop absorbing. He’s hungry to learn, to grow, to be spoken to and celebrated. Because of his pure state, a child is sensitive, and that’s a good thing. It obligates us to handle our children with care. Instead of seeing it as a drawback on their part, or trying to “harden” their beautiful core, it is incumbent upon us to recognize that yes, our deeds do and will make a huge difference. This realization obligates us to pay attention to our parenting, to treat our children in the way we’d like to be treated. And not only with our deeds, but

WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5784

TORAH WELLSPRING

also to develop more concern and caring internally. In their youth, children possess a still-intact inner radar that picks up signals, especially from those they’re most influenced by. In other words, they absorb even those messages we don’t express verbally but feel internally. We might be reading a book to a child, for example, or having a conversation with them, but if our mind is elsewhere, they will pick up on that. One of my young children recently asked me, when my mind wandered off during a conversation with her, “Totty, are you listening?” And this was even when externally, I’d asked all the right questions and made all the right comments. Yes, our children are smarter than that. They pick up all the cues, both external and internal, and because their sensors are still so untainted, they can sometimes detect our internal landscape to a degree that leaves us adults dumbfounded. The purpose of bringing to light this phenomenon regarding children is not to prompt despair. If I’m giving my best shot at my actions, but my child can detect my true thoughts and feelings, I’ll never get it right even if I try. Rather, it is to highlight just what koach we have to be mashpia on these pure beings entrusted in our care—because they’re so sensitive and delicate. Of course, every good deed and every positive word matters. But even more so, we can profoundly impact our children when we create the kind of environment that is most conducive for them to feel “at home,” when we invest in our internal landscape so that our thoughts and feelings are also fully present in the parenting experience. Special Opportunity On leil haSeder, when our precious children are the focus of the night— all kinds of children, as the section of the Four Sons conveys—we get a special opportunity to set a parent-

On Pesach, we are reminded that a child is a pure being—delicate, and highly influenced by the goings on in his life.

ing foundation for the year. It’s our chance to see our children, as young as they are, as the worthy human beings they are—to look into their eyes, to get into their minds, and to see what they like, what resonates with them, and what makes them come alive. Which part of the Seder are they most excited for, and why? Which songs would they like to sing? Which stories would they like to hear—or tell? Once we make them our focus and we see the weight they carry, it’s not that hard to give them

Rabbi Ezra Friedman is the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivas Mekor Chaim in Yerushalayim. 30

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a good time, to impress upon them the beauty of our mesorah and the joy of being a Yid, to create the kind of positive environment that will be etched in their hearts and minds forever. In the zechus of our dedication to chinuch habanim, of making chinuch a central focus of our lives on leil haSeder and all year long, may we be zocheh to experience true nachas shebikedushah and merit to create a home environment that is infused with an aura of cheirus and simchah.

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UPDATES By Bayla Brooks

Movement and Makeup Do the Two Clash? When it comes to skincare, it’s well-known that removing makeup before bed is important. This helps to prevent clogged pores, acne, and other skin issues. Other than that, is there any other setting when wearing makeup isn’t recommended? As it turns out, makeup during exercise can also be problematic. According to a new study published in Journal of Cosmetic Dermatology, wearing a cosmetic foundation during aerobic exercise negatively affects the skin and its pores. Researchers examined 43 healthy college students. Foundation cream was put on the forehead and upper cheek on half of the face, while the other half remained bare. Results showed an increase in moisture post-exercise on the entire face, but there was more moisture in the makeup area. After exercise, skin pore size increased on the non-makeup part of the face, but not as much on the makeup side. The amount of oil increased in the non-makeup area and decreased in the makeup area. If you’re like many women, you might be getting your exercise done before or after going about your daily routine, thus applying makeup beforehand. But, before you slather on the foundation, consider the new research. According

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2024

to this study, wearing heavy makeup like cream foundation during exercise can potentially lead to skin problems such as clogged pores due to sweat accumulation. Therefore, it is recommended to opt for lighter makeup or oil-free products to maintain healthy skin during exercise. Makeup can clog pores and cause increased skin dryness, experts say. “The reason it is recommended to remove makeup before going to bed is because it can combine with oil and dead skin cells to clog pores and promote acne formation,” says Dr. Brendan Camp, a dermatologist based in New York. “This recent study also suggests that wearing makeup while exercising may predispose the skin to increased dryness.” The good news is that there are healthier options that can provide coverage. An alternative to foundation is a BB, or beauty balm. BB creams are a cross between foundation and skincare products. They are often formulated to be non-comedogenic and are intended to improve skin tone and the overall appearance of skin. After exercising, cleanse your skin to remove excess oil, sweat, bacteria, and product residue that can contribute to acne or folliculitis.

Eye have a headache The eye tells a story

way beyond sight

Did you know that headaches and other health issues can be eye-related? That’s why, at Ahava, we investigate your eye health, exploring potential links to external issues that may appear unrelated since there’s more to it than meets the eye.

Ahava’s comprehensive eye exam. An in-depth addition to our regular eye exam.

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Part

16 in a series

Demystified

Myth: Eating Garlic Keeps the Mosquitos Away Will the true repellants please stand up? There’s no evidence to suggest that eating garlic will keep the mozzies at bay. This pungent-smelling plant has been purported to solve just about any problem, from the common cold to the buzzing flies outside. A recent study investigated this claim and separated mosquito fact from fiction. The study found that participants got bitten just as much as they did on the days they didn’t eat any garlic as on the days they did. Mosquitoes are drawn to the carbon dioxide exhaled by humans. Sweat, high body temperatures, and perfume can also attract mosquitoes. Turns out, it’s less about what you eat and more about how you protect yourself from mosquitos. This includes physical deterrents such as screens and nettings, as well as aerosol insecticide sprays in dark areas of the home and applying topical repellents. Mosquitoes are also drawn to water sources, so make sure there is no standing water near your home. As far as the garlic, besides for the repellant smell, it doesn’t do much else. 34

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2024

Eye am tired The eye tells a story

way beyond sight

Did you know that fatigue and other health issues can be eye-related? That's why, at Ahava, we go beyond just assessing your eyesight. We delve deep into understanding the underlying causes of tiredness because there's much more than just what meets the eye.

Ahava’s comprehensive eye exam. An in-depth addition to our regular eye exam. WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5784

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Blessings from above, these gifts of sight we hold, We can trust what we see more than the stories we are told, Ahava’s here to nurture, safeguard, and help you realize, Caring for your eyes is crucial, and the ability to do so is a precious prize, We’re bringing care to the community beyond compare, Because ‘eye don’t know about you, but eye care.’

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