Wellspring Issue #94 by The Wellspring

Cup of Tea

Narrative therapist Batya Jacobs teaches clients to view their story from a new point of view

NOVEMBER 2023 // CHESHVAN 5784 // ISSUE 94

OT @ Home Understanding PTSD

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My Table Our go-to veggie side

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Carry Me Through This I was anticipating the birth of my baby, and then I was diagnosed with leukemia

“Mommy , I’m So Afraid!“

What’s a parent to do when a child exhibits intense emotion? Unprocessed Emotions Don’t Go Away

By Shiff

DIY Bach relaxation blend to calm those taut nerves

FYI Stiff Neck Relief

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Torah Wellspring For us Yidden, every nisayon is an opportunity for song

Take That Sitting Down 7 fitness moves that work for those who can’t be on their feet

Warm Up 6 teas and their nutrition facts

Community Any suggestions for safe and effective mold removal?

Sample How the Sarno Method Targeted My Pain Part II

Midnight Munchies I wake up so hungry that I can’t fall back asleep

Swinging in the therapy gym. Listening to a story. Learning colors and numbers. These are just some of the joys Shimi experiences at The Hamaspik School. While this learning is impressive, for The Hamaspik School, it’s not enough. A rich Yiddish curriculum, run by a dedicated teacher, teaches the boys to read the aleph-beis. The beautiful siddur play tops off the joy, celebrating that each child can now daven from a siddur on his own.

It’s the extra mile like The Hamaspik School siddur play that makes all the difference.

926 Bedford Avenue · Brooklyn, NY · 718.408.5444

The Hamaspik School hosts a full general studies curriculum as well as a complete after-school Yiddish program geared to children with Down Syndrome..

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COPY & RESEARCH

Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC

Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson

$99.00

Proofreaders Faige Badian • Meira Lawrence

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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

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LIGHTEN UP YOUR POSTYOM TOV DIET JOURNEY

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EDITOR'S NOTE

For This I Am Grateful

ver the past half year or so, I had the tremendous pleasure and merit of teaching a series on Mesilas Yesharim on the Inspire By Wire phone line, titled “Journey Inward.” Over the spring and summer months, we moved through the powerful teachings of the Ramchal (only scratching the surface!), and then I was scheduled to deliver the final shiur—our grand siyum—right before Sukkos. I had already prepared a thought-provoking class on how to find our unique path toward living our Yiddishkeit (actually related to the topic I discussed in this space last month) and that only by discovering that key can we unlock our greatness and feel alive. As it would be a class most women would hear either right before Yom Tov or on Chol Hamoed, I included various Sukkos-related themes in the lesson. But then, for a variety of reasons—including lots of guests from overseas baruch Hashem, and my need to do it “just so”—I didn’t end up recording the class. “I’ll do it immediately after Yom Tov,” I told myself. “On the first morning the kids are back to school, I’ll get this done.” Well, rabos machshavos belev ish. The first morning turned out to be at least two weeks later. In the days after the heinous Simchas Torah attack, we were all left reeling. As the details came trickling in, there was so much pain, so much shock, and also so much numbness. And when I finally got a chance to sit down and record the siyum, which I had to restructure, I told the listeners that if Hashem had orchestrated that I teach this class now, this would be an opportunity to explore a relevant lesson for us in the nightmare Klal Yisrael had just experienced. Perhaps as a merit for those who were killed al kiddush Hashem we can have a stronger resolve to live our Yiddishkeit? Part of living life, as opposed to surviving life, is tending to the needs of the vessel that holds our neshamah so that it functions optimally. After all, the guf is the vessel for the nefesh and the nefesh is the vessel for the neshamah. But there’s more. It’s also about appreciating every moment we’re granted in this world and

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finding the beauty in it. Sometimes, this comes easily for us. Other times, as this issue’s illuminating Torah Wellspring explores, it really does not. What sometimes helps in times when we feel dejected or unfortunate is to remember those who have less, or a time in our own life when we were less fortunate. A valued contributor whom I’m privileged to call a friend—I’ve learned so much from her through our correspondence for this publication—recently shared with me the reason why she named one of her sons Yehuda. The pregnancy involved its fair share of stresses and scares, and she was confined to bedrest for a large chunk of it. When this long-awaited baby was finally born, my friend and her husband were so overwhelmed with gratitude that the name was an obvious choice. Hapa’am odeh es Hashem. And today, several years later, every time she ponders the meaning of her child’s name, she has a reminder to appreciate “regular life” right before her eyes. In her own powerful words, “As I hug my Yehuda, I’m reminded that everything in life is just another opportunity to recognize Hashem’s goodness, and to thank Him for it. Yehuda’s name serves as a reminder to be thankful for even the mundane activities I so badly wished to do during bedrest, like say Shema with my kids by their beds, give them baths, make them lunches, make my family dinner, and clean up the house—and, of course, for the even bigger berachos.”

wasn’t surprised to read that the protagonist in this issue’s Medical Saga, who was diagnosed with leukemia during her pregnancy with her seventh child, named her son Yehuda, as well. While Libby Silberman will be telling the story of this incredible woman in four installments, even in part I, a long while before the woman reaches the end of her saga, you’ll already notice some of the special “hugs” she experienced—because she made the effort to look out for them. In general, when we receive pitches for the Medical Saga column (pitches are always welcome, dear readers!), one of the attributes I look out for in the story is its potential to help at least some readers with their own medical mysteries. “This doctor helped me,” “That treatment was the answer,” “This was the diagnosis

we’d been seeking for years,” and so on. But when we accepted “Carry Me through This” for publication, the reason was entirely different. While no one should ever know of the pain and fear the protagonist experienced, what she offers us is a much-needed reminder about riding the waves of life while also taking a moment to be mindful of the gifts of blessed routine.

t a time when so many are experiencing sheer upheaval in their lives, we can’t get enough reminders of our own gifts. Just the other day I spoke to a woman who is spearheading a makeshift organization—that will hopefully close very soon—to provide the basics to families who’ve been evacuated from their homes. She shared that as much supplies as they’re getting, it’s simply not enough to cover the needs of so, so many. There are currently thousands of frum families living in government-allotted hotels (with no washing machines), or in temporary apartments all over the country with no schools, no income, and no idea how much longer they will call that cramped location home. Several of these stranded families have been placed in our neighborhood in Yerushalayim, and they have no choice but to accustom themselves to being full-time recipients of the kindness of others. I spoke to just one of these mothers this week and she shared how trying these times are for her and her family. The days carry on with no structure, and all the kids keep asking is, “When are we going home?” For many of these children, the place they once called home is all but a pile of rubble. Listening to even one such story evokes powerful emotion. And one of these emotions is gratitude—gratitude for what we’ve been blessed with, attributes of our life we may have taken for granted. But what can we do in addition to living our own lives with more appreciation and joy? The most powerful way we can help these displaced families, and all the families in Klal Yisrael that are desperate for a yeshuah and nechamah during this time, is tefillah—thanking Hakadosh Baruch Hu for the incredible chasadim in our own lives and pleading on behalf of those who would give anything in the world just to feel the pleasure of “boring” routine again. Wishing you all a peaceful, uneventful month until the coming of Mashiach, when we will finally gather together in our true home,

n a m d e i r F y f Shif

WELL- PUT “When we channel everything that occurs to us for good, to connect better to ourselves and others, every challenge becomes worth it.”

Batya Jacobs, Cup of Tea WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

CONTENTS

NOVEMBER 2023 CHESHVAN 5784 ISSUE 94 Our next issue will appear on Wednesday, November 29th iy"H.

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WELL INFORMED 10

Springboard

Spiritual Eating

Torah Wellspring

Health Updates

LIVING WELL 26

Fitness

Ask the Nutritionist

FYI

Community

Medical Saga

Sample

Cup of Tea

Serial Diary

60 DIY

82 69

SEASONED 8

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WELLBEING 62

Tap In

OT@Home

Inner Parenting

NEW SERIES!

FAREWELL 90 TorahHolistic Wellspring will return next month.

CENTER OF HEALTH. CENTER OF CARE.

Primary care Pediatric OBGYN Endocrinology Gastroenterology Optometry & Ophthalmology Nephrology Dermatology Podiatry Lyme Mental Health Pain Management Physical Therapy Occupational Therapy Speech Therapy

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SPRINGBOARD

On Sugar Addiction, Sarno Method, Strep Throat, and More

Balance Does Not Work for Everyone Issue #93: Editor’s Note

I’m writing to let you know how much I enjoyed the Sukkos issue of Wellspring. I used to buy the magazine at my local supermarket and have now decided to do a monthly subscription. I can’t always keep track of when the next issue will be on newsstands, and there’s simply too good content to miss. I actually had a similar question to the one Shiffy Friedman was asked, as she mentions in her letter. I too was wondering how you still have fresh content month after month. The answer she provided was so 10

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thought-provoking. In fact, as a member of a frum women’s compulsive eating group, I found the response to be very validating. There are many people who simply don’t believe that the concept of food addiction exists, and they can’t understand why moderation doesn’t work for me. At a simchah, for example, they might say, “Why don’t you have just a small slice of cake? It’s just a small piece.” But those who know know. No, the ideal of balance does not work for everyone. I’ve baruch Hashem been zocheh to be off sugar for almost five years now, and my life is a completely new one since I’ve embarked on this healing journey. I wish it for all my

fellow sisters who are struggling with addiction to sugar, and I encourage them all to do what it takes to find the support and group setting to make abstinence happen. Wishing you lots of further siyata diShmaya, F. Zenger

Every Word Is True Issue #93: Tribute

Thank you for a well-rounded Yom Tov issue. I appreciated the range and depth of topics covered. As always,

Quick Question

Question: I recently had a serious stomach virus—accompanied by diarrhea and vomiting—that left me feeling extremely weak. I was out of order for at least 48 hours, and I didn’t even have the strength to walk to the kitchen for a drink of water. What would you suggest for the next time this happens?

Answer: The intense weakness you describe is most probably as a result of dehydration. If you can’t keep any liquids down, drink Pedialyte or ginger tea, one ounce at a time every 15 minutes. Another option is ginger ale that contains no carbonation. Do not eat any foods beside toast, crackers, and tea in small bite sizes. Keep drinks and crackers near your bed. Here are some homeopathic remedies to help with diarrhea: • arsenicum • china • Gastric Flu (combination remedy for stomach virus) Apply two sprays under the tongue four times a day. It’s also helpful to inhale peppermint oil to treat nausea. To regain your strength, you may want to take the Bach remedies Olive and Hornbeam, three drops every hour. Take care, Miriam Schweid, Kinesiologist and Health Consultant

Wellspring delivers solid content with no fluff. Special shout-out to Miriam Frankel’s column, OT@Home. I’ve been implementing Miriam’s tips each month at home and have observed that my young children are a lot more integrated, more settled. Also, I was very touched by the tribute to Rebbetzin Yitty Neustadt. I knew her on a personal level during the blessed years that I lived in Eretz Yisrael, and every word in the moving article was true. The way the writer summed her up as “the role model for Torah-true femininity” couldn’t have been more apt. The most important resources for a Yiddishe mamme—in order, “sleep, hydration, and food”— should be framed and hung in every

home with young children. Thanks again, Rivky H.

Every Word Is True Issue #93: Sample

Finally! A comprehensive breakdown of the Sarno method. Thanks for printing this enlightening article of a powerful approach that I hope readers will try themselves. A few years ago, I suffered from a herniated disc that incapacitated me

to the extent that I only functioned on heavy painkillers. A friend of mine urged me to try the Sarno method. He sent me a long email detailing the method. He wrote to me, “I’ll bet you that two out of three yungeleit in your yeshivah have herniated discs as well, but in their lifetime, they’re not going to ever know it unless they took an X-ray. In other words, your body found a place to feel the pain, but you don’t have to feel the pain should you decide not to.” I took this message to heart and religiously practiced the method. I went to the local high school running track in the evening after Ma’ariv and did a round on the track, talking to myself while wearing a pair of

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

The Doctor Is In

SPRINGBOARD

Question: My kids were sick with strep throat repeatedly last year. They needed so many rounds of antibiotics, and I wasn’t happy filling their little bodies with drugs again and again. I would like to understand why doctors prescribe antibiotics for strep throat. Can’t we just wait it out next time to see if it goes away by itself or with some honey, lemon, and turmeric?

Answer: painful collections of pus near the tonsils that may require drainage.

Doctors prescribe antibiotics for strep throat because it is caused by group A Streptococcus bacteria, and antibiotics effectively kill these bacteria. This helps reduce symptoms, shorten the duration of illness, and prevent complications. Antibiotics also decrease the contagiousness of the infection, reducing the risk of spreading it to others.

However, it’s worth mentioning that alongside antibiotics, supportive care can help alleviate the discomfort of strep throat. Natural remedies can be used in conjunction with prescribed antibiotics. Options like warm tea, honey, lemon and even “turmeric milk” (milk mixed with a little bit of turmeric powder) can speed up sore throat relief. Warm salt gargles, throat lozenges, humidifiers, and over-the-counter pain medication can also be helpful.

It’s important to emphasize that while some individuals may explore natural remedies for a sore throat, treating strep throat naturally is not recommended. The risks associated with untreated strep throat far outweigh the potential benefits of natural remedies. Untreated strep throat can lead to severe complications like rheumatic heart disease, deep throat infections, and more. Rheumatic heart disease is an inflammatory condition that can affect the heart, joints, skin, and brain, sometimes causing permanent heart damage. Rheumatic fever can happen weeks after a strep infection so it’s important to treat strep as soon as its diagnosed.

It’s important to remember that natural remedies may help manage symptoms and provide comfort but are not a substitute for antibiotics when dealing with strep throat. Strep throat is a bacterial infection that requires specific treatment to prevent complications. Seek medical attention, take the prescribed antibiotics, and consider using natural supportive care remedies alongside your treatment plan to help ease the symptoms and improve your overall comfort.

Strep throat can also cause peritonsillar abscesses,

Wishing you and your child the best of health, Dr. Jennie Berkovich, Pediatrician JOWMA Director of Education

AirPods so that no one would think I was crazy. I verbally acknowledged the stresses I was going through and anything else that came up for me. I told myself that there was nothing really wrong with my back, and my subconscious could release my back of the job of expressing my emotional “pain.” Within two weeks I was pain free, baruch Hashem. 12

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Refuah sheleimah to all,

the ValAsta intervention.

Across the Board

I would like to share my personal experience with the formula. I suffer from a serious case of arthritis that has been holding me back from life to the extent that I can’t function as a regular human being. Of course, I’ve been trying various avenues of healing but without success.

Thank you very much for featuring

I heard about ValAsta from a friend who had been helped by it for gout,

Yakov Shua C. Lakewood

Issue #93: Cover Feature

but I didn’t know the details. Until I read the article, I hadn’t realized it’s a formula that can heal a variety of ailments, and that even healthy people take it as a supplement for preventative health. After reading it, I called the number, and when I read the information leaflet given to me by a volunteer, I sensed that my constant tefillos—to be able to function again, to find relief from my pain, to stop being on medication that is barely helping—were answered. I’ve only been taking the formula since a few days before Yom Tov, but I’ve already experienced significant improvement. I’m in much less pain, I also have a lot more energy, and I’m sleeping much better. When I called the phone line, a volunteer told me that while a lot of people have seen quick results with arthritis, for some it could take longer. Baruch Hashem, I’m part of the former group. Thanks so much for spreading the word, Mrs. B. Damen Brooklyn, New York

Better and Stronger Issue #93: Cover Feature

I was delighted to see that you featured ValAsta in the past issue magazine. What a great mitzvah! Every Yid should try to tell others about this because they may just help someone to suffer less, feel less pain, and hopefully to even heal completely. A relative of mine who has cancer was suffering terribly from the side effects of immunotherapy. He was feeling so ill that he could no longer handle his treatments. Within weeks of taking ValAsta, all the side effects disappeared, and he’s feeling so much better and stronger. Baruch Hashem, his cancer is shrinking quicker than expected. May we only hear good news. Yasher koach, H. D. Editor’s Note: The personal accounts of users’ experiences with ValAsta are spreading by word of mouth. However, due to the sensitive nature of the accounts, Miriam is vigilant to maintain each person’s privacy— despite strong communal pressure to share—and has therefore been unable to publicize the stories. In last month’s feature article, Malya, the writer, shared a personal account,

“The Relief I’d Been Seeking,” told to her by her friend in Australia, who agreed to be featured anonymously. The account was not submitted by Miriam or any other volunteer.

PSA

Breakthrough Vitiligo Treatment We’ve recently gone through a rough path (excuse the pun) with vitiligo with one of our kids. Vitiligo is a skin condition that causes loss of color of skin in patches. The discolored patches grow with time and there is no known cause or treatment for this condition. We baruch Hashem learned of a breakthrough treatment that causes repigmentation of the skin by using ayurvedic herbs called bakuchi, and this has helped our child tremendously. For additional information I can be reached via Wellspring. Name Withheld Upon Request

Get in touch! Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

Why Did the Malachim Eat? In Parshas Vayeira, we read of the three malachim that approached Avraham in the guise of travelers passing by in the heat of the day.

Avraham exhibited incredible chesed as he hurried himself and his family to prepare a meal and a place to rest for his guests—all this during the most painful period of recovery from his bris milah. “He took cream and milk and the calf that he had prepared, and placed these before them; he stood over them beneath the tree and they ate (vayocheilu)” (Bereishis 18:8). There are various ways to interpret the word “vayocheilu,” but according to the understanding that the malachim actually consumed the food, the obvious question is, why? Angels, unlike human beings, have no physical body and therefore no need for nutrition. What benefit occurred from their “digesting” the meal? Malachim get their nourishment directly from Hashem. They don’t require the intermediary of food in order to be healthy. We humans also draw all our sustenance from Hashem, but He created us in a way that we, as physical beings, need to receive our fuel in the form of food— the wonderful, enjoyable, and stimulating delivery system of our health and vitality. But there is an additional function to eating that we can in fact share with the

malachim. When a higher form of existence consumes a lower form, the latter is elevated to a greater spiritual level than it could have ever achieved on its own. Even though food—whether plants or animals—has inherent kedushah as Hashem’s creation, it is raised to a higher plane when consumed by a creature of a higher caliber. As the Shem MiShmuel explains, the korban doesn’t elevate the mizbeiach. The mizbeiach elevates the korban. Food doesn’t elevate Shabbos. Shabbos elevates food. That’s what the malachim did by “eating” Avraham’s meal. And that is what we do every time we eat: we take the limited spiritual potential of food and attach it to our more sophisticated and valuable mode of life. We take the worlds of the tzomeiach and chai and raise them to the level of medaber. Or do we? If a human lets his animalistic desires for self-indulgence dictate his behavior with food, is he in fact elevating the gift Hashem has given him to fuel his physical wellbeing and provide an opportunity for spiritual refinement? Or is he exploiting the occasion, and lowering himself and the food in the process? Malachim don’t have a choice. We do.

Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood. He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-578-8800, email info@soveya.com, or visit www. soveya.com.

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TORAH WELLSPRING By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Holding Our Hand

For us Yidden, every challenge is an opportunity for song

At one point in Nevuchadnetzar’s life, when things were going really well for him, he wanted to sing shirah to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The Midrash tells us that this desire of his caused such an uproar in Shamayim— with the angels questioning whether his song was more beautiful than Dovid Hamelech’s—that Hashem sent malach Gavriel to slap him across the face. With that, the evil king was instantly silenced. 16

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At first, we would understand this to mean that the rasha’s desire to express gratitude through song stirred up a kitrug on high, and so an angel was sent to quiet him. But the Kotzker Rebbe explains it differently, in a commentary that encapsulates the supreme ko’ach of a Yid. Let’s take a look, just a glimpse, at the life of Dovid Hamelech, the ne’im zemiros Yisrael, to understand the Kotzker’s message. Years before Dovid

experienced the untold hardships he refers to throughout Sefer Tehillim, he was already an unfortunate child. Considered the “black sheep” of his family, he got a taste very early in life of the pain of rejection. Later, when Dovid was 15 years of age, Shmuel Hanavi came to Beis Lechem to seek out the future king of Israel in order to anoint him. But it didn’t occur to the sons of Yishai that their youngest brother Dovid was the one he was seeking. Perhaps Shmuel was looking for the eldest son, Eliav, who was tall and distinguished? Or the wisest? Certainly not Dovid, the denigrated one in the bunch, the one who tended to the sheep and played tunes on his harp. To those around him, Dovid was not the embodiment of Torah and leadership they imagined a king of Klal Yisrael to be. In fact, after Shmuel met Yishai's seven sons and still had no signal from Above to anoint any of them as king, he asked them, “Are these all the lads?” Shmuel prophetically chose the word “lads” as Dovid didn’t even have the status of a son! His status was insignificant even in the eyes of his father. Later, after Dovid married King Shaul’s daughter Michal, his fatherin-law was out to kill him. Then, when he was a father himself, Dovid’s own son Avshalom pursued him. These are just a glimpse of the travails the ne’im zemiros Yisrael endured in his short lifetime. Still, what was the question on Dovid Hamelech’s lips through all of this? What was he expressing with this harp? “Mah ashiv laHashem” (Tehillim 116), how can I repay Him for all the goodness He’s bestowed upon me? I’m so indebted to You, Hashem! Dovid Hamelech’s response to every tzarah was another mizmor, another kapitel. The soul-stirring psalms composed in his greatest hours of aloneness eloquently describe not

only his suffering and heartache, but more significantly, his faith and conviction. Says the Kotzker Rebbe, this ko’ach of enduring a profound tzarah and then not only drawing the strength to lift ourselves up again but creating a song through it—seeing the good in it, singing and dancing—this the ko’ach is unique to a Yid. A Slap, And then Silence With this introduction, we understand why when Nevuchadnetzar started singing shirah and the stirrings of a kitrug began, Hakadosh Baruch Hu instructed the malach to slap him. What was the message of that slap? The beautiful songs you intended to sing when things went well for you are impressive indeed. But let’s see what happens when you’re in a state of discomfort— when you’re slapped across the face, when you’re faced with a challenge. With just one slap, all his grand plans for an exquisite shirah came to a halt. What a kiddush Hashem reverberated in the Heavens! This, our proud Father conveyed to the malachim, is the gadlus of a Yid. We have this superhuman power in our lineage. Yaakov Avinu also grew up as the persecuted brother. Not only was he forced to buy off what was rightfully his, but he still had to escape his brother’s wrath for fear of being killed. Later, he was stripped of all his belongings as a “favor,” in order to remain alive. As we read in the upcoming parshiyos, Yaakov’s next stage in life was centered on strenuous work, first for one round of seven years, and then another seven. As the victim of grand-scale deceit, witness to the struggles of his beloved wife Rochel, then burying her in her prime and enduring the saga of Dinah and

then of Yosef, Yaakov Avinu was no stranger to tzaros. But what was the theme of Yaakov Avinu’s life? The line that tells of not only his resilience and gratitude, but also of his deep appreciation for everything he went through: “Katonti mikol hachasadim—I’ve become small from all Your kindnesses” (Bereishis 32:11). How indebted I am to You, Ribbono shel Olam! Lift Us Up This response, dear readers, is in our DNA. For millennia, through pogroms and expulsion and derision, we’ve endured one chapter of persecution after the next, and it’s fascinating to observe how the world’s most oppressed nation keeps emerging most empowered. We keep raising ourselves up again. We keep rising up in song. From where did our lamplighters summon this ko’ach? From where can we, their descendants, keep drawing this strength? It’s a matter of perspective. When I believe that the One who’s orchestrating the tzarah is doing so out of loathing or disapproval, it leaves me feeling abandoned, lost and alone. In that state, I can’t pick myself up again. But when I understand and internalize that it’s just the opposite, I am able to connect to Hakadosh Baruch Hu through the challenge. I’m able to feel His love in it. When Klal Yisrael expressed fear that Hakadosh Baruch Hu would speak with them directly, Moshe Rabbeinu responded, “Have no fear, Hashem has come ba’avur nasos eschem, in order to exalt you” (Shemos 20: 17). “Nasos,” which shares the root of the word “nisayon,” a challenge, reminds us of the purpose in everything we endure: it’s a means through which Hash-

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

TORAH WELLSPRING

em seeks to exalt us, to lift us up. Toward the end of the Torah, when Moshe Rabeinu prepares to depart from Klal Yisrael, he delivers a healing promise. Speaking of the nations, he urges the Yidden, “Be strong and be courageous; neither fear nor be dismayed by [the nations], for Hashem is the One who goes with you, lo yarpecha velo ya’azveka—He will neither fail you, nor forsake you” (Devarim 31:6). Commenting on this verse, Rashi offers an insight that’s a balm to the neshamah of a galus Yid. “Lo yitein lecha rifyon,” Moshe Rabeinu promised. The word “yarpecha” stems from the root “rafa,” meaning “weak.” In this context, Moshe told Klal Yisrael, “Hashem will not give you cause for weakness resulting from your being forsaken by Him.” When Hashem realizes that we’ve distanced ourselves from Him, He holds our hand tight in order to strengthen us. Like a father who holds his son’s hand firmly so he won’t run into the street, Hakadosh Baruch Hu will sometimes grip us tightly because He doesn’t want us to let go, holding on tighter and tighter as we try to break away. Just as this firm handgrip can feel uncomfortable or even painful, when Hashem holds us in this way, the experience may be excruciating. Yet if we recognize its purpose, if we see it for what it is, we can open ourselves up to unimaginable growth. If we look carefully, we watch this happen with every eis tzarah. During the actual blow, there’s so much pain, so much anguish. But afterward, Klal Yisrael experiences such an awakening. A shefa of clarity descends upon our world. How many people become strengthened in their emunah. Unlike any other nation that would be left feeling rejected, worthless, and abandoned during a period of turmoil or persecution, we feel our Father’s love more deeply. Our Avos drew their strength because their connection with the Ribbono shel Olam was real. They felt His Presence in their life at every turn. They felt His love for them, the 18

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He shuddered at first, but then he called out, “These pictures send a false message. Here in this image, we only see the gaunt face, the sad eyes, the pain and suffering. We only see half the story.”

imo anochi batzarah. Only Half the Story When Rav Shimshon Pincus zt”l was once shown an image from the Holocaust depicting an emaciated inmate in the infamous barracks. He shuddered at first, but then he called out, “These pictures send a false message. Here in this image, we only see the gaunt face, the sad eyes, the pain and suffering. We only see half the story. What we can’t see here is the other, more important part. Every Yid who was there in the inferno saw something else entirely. He saw two malachim, one at his right side and one on his left, protecting him through it all. They were his personal shemirah, sent to him directly by Hashem.” Of course, since we’re living in an olam hanistar, the clarity isn’t so stark. It’s a reality we must choose to see. But if we make that choice, we will see the batzar hirchavta li. We will see what Dovid Hamelech expresses so powerfully in Tehillim (4:2): “In my distress you have relieved me.” How does Hashem re-

lieve a Yid from His pain? In every tzarah he’s destined to endure, Hashem will send Him just what he needs to get through it. Even in the greatest calamity there is so much light. Later, one who experienced a nisayon might look back and say, “Wow, if not for that I wouldn’t have made it through,” but the sefarim explain that it’s actually the opposite. The reason you were sent the gift that enabled you to pull through was so you would have the capacity to endure the tzarah. That person who came into your life just when you needed him? The resources you had at your disposal? It was never in the plan that these wouldn’t be in place because Hashem arranged that you would have what you need to succeed. That’s the batzar hirchavta li for which Dovid Hamelech expressed his gratitude, because he had the clarity to notice it. Each of us in our own lives, if we choose to look out for it, can find the batzar hirchavta li—the ways in which Hashem is holding our hand, sending the right shlichim or support or strength at the right time. It reminds us that Hakadosh Baruch Hu

is looking after us, helping us find the way out so we can emerge from the rough patch with more ko’ach. Naturally, we’ve all been reeling and shell-shocked after hearing of the calamity in Eretz Yisrael. But even as we feel pained, we must not take the perspective we may naturally incline toward—which is that we’ve been rejected chas veshalom. Many people who were under the assumption that the calamity hit from Hashem’s wrath toward us expressed, “But we just did teshuvah! How could we have received such a blow?” The answer is just the opposite. Because we’re coming out of a month of avodah, a month of cleansing, we can channel this experience toward heightened connection with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Our supplies are fully stocked with the true ammunition—namely, our bitachon. Contrary to inciting fear, that such a devastating infiltration could occur despite the sophisticated defense systems in place should spur us to strengthen our belief in the One who’s truly in power. As the

Chovos Halevavos cautions in Sha’ar Habitachon, when we rely on a force other than Hakadosh Baruch Hu, He says, “If you rely on that, see what happens…” As ma’aminim, we know that “ein lanu al mi lehisha’ein.” And when we rely on Hashem, He shows us what He can do. What miracles and blessings we see in our lives! We’re Standing With Hashem Someone asked mori verabi Rebbe Nachman Biederman shlita, “What is the right thing to do if the siren sounds while I’m davening Shemoneh Esreh?” His answer was, “If you’re standing with Hashem, what is there to run for? Where would you want to run to? You’re right there with the Melech Malchei Hamelachim Himself!” Everyone should consult with their da’as Torah regarding this matter, but the underlying message speaks volumes. When a Yid lives with the knowledge and feeling that the Ribbono shel Olam is at his side, there’s nowhere he needs to run to, nothing

he seeks out as a source of comfort or security. It doesn’t take much to sing “Hamelech” in the air-conditioned beis midrash, to scream it at the top of our lungs when we’re feeling comfortable and secure. The nisayon of recognizing that He is King is in the battlefield—when our security feels threatened, when we feel afraid and uncertain of what the future holds. When we feel slapped across the face, so to speak, can we keep singing? Can we transfer our reliance onto Him? This is the nisayon. Now is the test and now is the time to test ourselves. How much do I rely on Hashem when we’re in the battlefield? May we be zocheh to see Hashem’s loving hand, His yado hatovah, and “shelo yishameir shod veshever bigvuleinu.” May this be the final blow, and may we grow from it and strengthen our connection until the time when we will feel Hashem’s Presence with no barriers, in the Beis Hamikdash, speedily in our days.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman is the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivas Mekor Chaim in Yerushalayim.

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

UPDATES By Bayla Brooks

Sharper Mind How a novel Chinese herb can help individuals age gracefully “I forgot,” “I can’t concentrate,” “Can you help me decide?” are common refrains from individuals who suffer from cognitive impairments. Cognitive impairment is when an individual has trouble remembering, learning new things, concentrating, or making decisions that affect their everyday life, and it can range from mild to severe. Roughly 15 percent of people over the age of 65 have mild cognitive impairment, and the risk increases with age. People living with the condition have a greater risk of developing Alzheimer’s or related forms of dementia. While some issues with memory may be normal as people age, those living with mild cognitive impairment (MCI) may encounter more difficulties than their peers. Treatment for cognitive impairment is limited. Medication is not very effective, and many times, drugs given intravenously can cause further deterioration later. A study published last month by the Alzheimer’s Association indicates that SaiLuoTong (SLT) may be helpful in improving 20

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memory as well as executive function. SLT is an herbal supplement that contains extracts including panax ginseng, ginkgo biloba, and crocus sativus L. To test the effectiveness of the supplement, the researchers enlisted 78 participants who were 60 years and older and had mild cognitive impairment. The participants were given either 180 mg of SLT every day or a placebo. The researchers reported that after 12 weeks, those who were given SLT had a statistically significant improvement in their logical memory delayed recall scores compared with those who were given the placebo. SLT was also found to improve performance in executive function. “Collectively, results suggest that SLT may be useful in supporting memory retrieval and executive function in people with MCI,” the study authors write. With intriguing results as these, the researchers are moving forward in studies to test the full functionality of this incredible herb.

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Think You’re Not a “Helicopter” Parent? New poll finds many are As children grow up, their desire to venture out on their own and gain some independence is only natural. A new national poll suggests that most parents say they’re fine with that. The problem? The poll highlights a significant gap between what parents say and what they actually allow, with many choosing to keep their kids on quite short a leash. “We wanted to see if parents are consistent between what they say and what they do with respect to fostering independence,” explains poll co-director Sarah Clark, a research scientist in the Department of Pediatrics with the Child Health Evaluation and Research Center at the University of Michigan Medicine. “We assumed there would be some gap, but we didn’t think it would be this big,” Clark admits. “There are a lot of kids who are not getting enough growth opportunities, but parents don’t necessarily recognize it.” As described in a recent issue of the Mott Poll Report, Clark and her colleagues enlisted more than 1,000 randomly selected parents for their survey. All were parents of kids between the ages of 5 and 11. Among parents of kids aged of 9–11, roughly 84 percent said they agree that free time without adult supervision is a good idea. Among parents of younger kids between 5–8, nearly three-quarters said they make a point of letting their kids do things on their own, whenever feasible. But did theory translate into practice? Not so much. Among parents of the 9–11 set, 58 percent let their child stay home alone for a half hour to an hour, and only half reported letting their child wander alone into another store aisle when shopping. In a similar vein, only about 40 percent said they let their child bike or walk to a friend’s house on their own. Less than a third permitted playtime in a park without adults present. Less than a quarter said they let their kids aged 5–8 talk to an adult stranger in a business situation, such as asking a store representative a question, while only a fifth let their child prepare their own food at home. Under a third said they leave spending decisions entirely up to their child, and less than half let their child talk to a nurse or a doctor 22

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on their own when going for a checkup. So, what’s with all the “helicopter” parenting? Though the poll did not, in fact, deploy this term in their questions, Clark says the biggest issue for independence-averse parents appears to be a “generalized worry that something bad might happen, leading them to believe that they must protect their child from hypothetical bad outcomes.” Indeed, the survey numbers bear this out, with more than half of parents raising tweens saying they’re worried someone might scare their unsupervised child, even though only 17 percent think their particular neighborhood is too unsafe for unsupervised activities. About a third also said their child simply isn’t ready to be on their own. Between 11–17 percent said that someone might call the police on them or judge them for being bad parents. Among parents of younger kids, motivating factors included concerns about child safety (44 percent) and/or a lack of child maturity (31 percent), or the belief that their child wants supervision (34 percent). About a quarter said they believed unsupervised activities would take too long or turn out not the way the parent wanted. “The second factor is parent awareness of a hypercritical climate, which again leads them to believe they must protect their child from bad outcomes,” Clark says. In other words, parents are striving to shield their kids from bullying. The problem is that all these well-intentioned reasons for wanting to micromanage youthful activities “may be unintentionally restricting their child’s path to independence,” the survey team concluded. “What many parents are missing,” cautions Clark, “is the recognition that over the long term, there are negative consequences to children not having sufficient opportunities to progress toward independence.” Unfortunately, she adds, “the consequences may not be apparent until young adulthood.” While every responsible parent wants to keep their child safe, independence can be healthy, in the right setting. The question is, will we let it happen?

I L E A R N I N KOLL EL

DSPs get paid to provide one-on-one support for people with developmental disabilities and behavioral health challenges. These HCBS services are provided through Hamaspik, Comfort Health, and Integrated Health.

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11 in a series

Demystified

Myth: Microwaving food is bad for you because it kills nutrients Fact: Do you experience a pang of guilt every time you swing open the microwave door? No more worries. Or less worries, at least. Microwave ovens heat and cook foods by stimulating their molecules, and this energy is then converted into heat. While it is true that microwave ovens produce electromagnetic radiation, there are many different types of radiation. Electromagnetic radiation is not associated with harmful types of radiation such as nuclear energy and it does not increase the risk of cancer. Even so, as a safety precaution, microwave ovens are made with shields and screens to contain the radiation within, where it’s needed. If the door is broken or does not close properly, consider replacing it. Furthermore, there is no scientific evidence to suggest that microwaving food reduces nutrient levels. In fact, all forms of cooking reduce the nutrient content to some extent, with the main factors being temperature, cooking time, and method of cooking. As microwave cooking times are generally shorter and use lower temperatures than other forms of cooking, this means less nutrients are lost from shorter heat exposure, and the minimal amount of liquid needed for microwaving food prevents nutrients from leaking out. To best retain the nutrients of your food, cover up the microwave-safe container or bowl with a minimal amount of water, so you’ll be essentially steaming the food from the inside. Be mindful not to add too much liquid or overcook the contents and be cautious of steam when you open the container. 24

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