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Torah Wellspring Summertime’s unique circumstances are rich with potential for growth

JULY 2023 // TAMMUZ 5783 // ISSUE 90

What to Expect Weight maintenance during pregnancy

DIY Natural Tick Repellent

FYI Hypertension

Math + Science in the Gym How does exercise burn calories?

Powerhouse Legendary fitness instructor Norma Pullman almost quit her first yoga session

Your Best Sleep Yet 22 Samples committed to a consistent bedtime. The results were astounding.

Far Apart, Close at Heart 4 ways to maintain close ties even if your family isn’t under one roof this summer

New Yor e t a t s k, p U

Turn Up the Heat 6 foods to kick up the spice and nutrition profile

HERE WE COME How to prevent the devastating repercussions of tick−borne Lyme disease

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The Joys of Summer Miriam Frankel’s 7 tips to making unstructured time successful

Personal accounts from the trenches

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Hamaspik’s eight after-school programs give children of all ages and abilities a fun learning experience. Providing family members a much-needed break during the “off times” – evenings, weekends, and holidays. A highlight are the occasional Shabbatons throughout the year. Without our incredible staff and volunteers, these programs wouldn’t exist! Thank You! WELLSPRING / TAMMUZ 5783

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Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC

Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson

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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

EDITOR'S NOTE

Day Off On

oday is my day off from my job at school. While there will always be work to take home with me, but what most distinguishes Wednesdays from the other weekdays is that I don’t need to be out of the house, dressed and ready, by 8:20 a.m. with all my kids in tow. By default, we’d think such a change in schedule would warrant a later wake-up time. But the reality is that it doesn’t. This morning, even though I’d intended to give myself a longer stretch, I found myself up and about at the same time as a regular workday. Once a system, always a system. In this issue’s informative Sample, Libby Silberman and the 22 Samples prove this point. Once our circadian rhythm is set in stable motion, which happens when we go to bed and rise at about the same time for even just a few days, the body will naturally awaken at the hour it’s accustomed to calling morning. As Libby personally observed when executing the experiment, once we establish a rise and wake time—which elevates the quality of our sleep—sleeping in on Shabbos might just become a thing of the past. On the outset, that might sound like a downer. Many of us, especially young mothers, look forward to catching up on our sleep (at least somewhat!) on this one morning of the week when duties don’t call with the same intensity. With the structure less rigid, we can take a well-deserved break from the rush-rush morning routine. But, it’s intriguing to think that if we invest in improving the structure of our weeknight sleep (see Sample for more insight on that), resulting in more quality shuteye, we might find that not only will we be less desperate for that Shabbos morning lie-in, we may be more open to maximizing the time for endeavors we don’t have

much time for all week long. s Rebbetzin Dena Weinberg a”h would say, “Instead of making Shabbos a day off, make it a day on.” Imagine we had the ko’ach to rise at the regular time on Shabbos, or even just an hour later than usual, which would still leave ample time until the seudah (even with many breaks for feedings and changing and breaking up fights and whatnot). Perhaps we could fill that pocket of time with something meaningful. Whether reading or learning an inspirational text, telling the kids a story, or davening with more peace of mind, it’s these moments that usher the beauty of Shabbos, the gift of her menuchah, into our heart and home. For the first few moments, sleeping in always feels like the way to go. But especially if we’ve gotten into a healthy routine with sleep, we may come to appreciate what that special time in awake mode can give us. Too much sleep leaves us feeling sluggish, too little turns us into walking zombies—but just the right amount can fill us with the energy we need for optimal functioning. Sleep is not the only physical activity that gives us so much when we engage in it with planning, intention, and balance. Eating and exercise are two other pursuits that have the capacity to energize us—when employed right. This summer, we can make it our project to focus on these three important physical needs, giving ourselves each in the right dose, so we can be’ezras Hashem experience a truly gezunte zimmer. Wishing you all a summer of health and recharging,

n a m d e i r F Shiffy

WELL- PUT “While our instinct may be to fill the empty time, understanding the value of unstructured time can help us embrace it and make it intentional and constructive for our child.”

Miriam Frankel, OTR/L , OT @ Home WELLSPRING / TAMMUZ 5783

CONTENTS

JULY 2023 TAMMUZ 5783 ISSUE 90 Our next issue will appear on Wednesday, July 26th iy"H.

WELL INFORMED 12

Springboard

Torah Wellspring

Spiritual Eating

Health Updates

LIVING WELL

Fitness

Ask the Nutritionist

FYI

Cover Feature

Sample

60 Cup of Tea 68

Serial Diary

DIY

WELLBEING

52 79

SEASONED 8

WELLSPRING / JULY 2023

OT@Home

Tap In

Wellbeing Feature

FAREWELL 98

Holistic

Did you? knoaw has lmonds

p of bs A 1/2 cu mount of car a l a le SD an equ s 1 who a n ie t and pro o cookie! jumb

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SPRINGBOARD

On Dandruff, ADHD, Failure to Thrive, and More

Composite of Parts Issue #89: Sample

I absolutely loved last issue’s Sample on ADHD interventions for non-ADHD individuals, especially the section that explored how we’re all essentially a composite of parts and all of us contain a degree of ADHD. The word, as an official acronym, seems daunting, but when we take it apart and view it as the article explained, it enables us to embrace our humanness with more acceptance and compassion. I had a really fun time doing the exercises and am really enjoying the meditation exercises. The RAIN exercise is already making such an impact on my life. I find myself being calmer and more present thanks to 12

WELLSPRING / JULY 2023

these few minutes of mindfulness.

Boost of Faith

piece meant to me. You see, my husband was recently anticipating a quite impressive deal in real estate, and we had pinned so many of our hopes for financial stability and rachvus on it. In the last minute, it all fell through. Reading about how we all have our charms, and how everything in our life is a vehicle through which we can come back to our emunah in Hashem—not in another individual or our assets, etc.—was the tranquilizer I needed just at the right moment.

Last issue’s Torah Wellspring came just at the time I needed it. I’ve been clipping the articles from this column for a while, but I’m writing to say how much this particular

I reread the article several times and each time I felt myself getting calmer and calmer. I know I’ll still need it, and I’m holding on tight, but the gift in Rabbi Friedman’s words is priceless. May we always remember that the fountain of emunah is

Thanks for addressing not only physical health but all components of wellbeing. A fan, Goldy K. Staten Island, New York

Issue #89: Torah Wellspring

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Quick Question

SPRINGBOARD

Question: It seems to me that my kids are not only allergic to insect bites, but they also attract mosquitoes. Even when other kids around them aren’t getting bitten, they do, and the targeted area blows up quickly. The bite looks frightening and is very itchy. Any ideas for soothing and prevention?

Answer: According to medical evidence, some blood types and body temperatures do attract mosquitoes. It may also depend on the foods we’ve consumed and the color of our clothing. Some people have found that supplementing with vitamin B is helpful, but this intervention hasn’t been proven by science. You can prevent bites by applying a repellent that contains citronella. Once the child has been stung, the homeopathic remedy Apis Mel can be very relieving and prevent inflammation. Keep Benadryl or another allergy relief medication or supplement handy, as well. In the event that the allergic reaction is severe, contact your doctor or emergency medical personnel immediately. Wishing you and yours a safe, bite-free summer, Miriam Schweid, Kinesiologist and Health Consultant

already within us! With tremendous gratitude for giving me so much more than information on health, Name Withheld upon Request

They’re Human Too

Sniffles and Sneezes Issue #89: Community

I’m writing to say that I’ve had great experience with slathering lemon juice on my scalp in order to abate the dandruff condition. I hope it helps other readers too. I look forward to the magazine every month. R. Paskesz

Issue #89: My Table

Monsey, New York The My Table conversation last month was a breath of fresh air. It was such a relief because those in the health field often come across like they would never ever even think about an unhealthy food. Here we read about their very human side, and how they deal with it. It was really validating. Thanks so much. Penina L. 14

WELLSPRING / JULY 2023

Developing an Appreciation I’m a young mother of three. My 15-month-old baby was recently admitted to the hospital for failure to thrive. She wasn’t keeping food down, quite lethargic, and was barely holding up her head. She cried so

quietly we barely heard her. After two weeks of incessant testing the doctors could not find a cause for her failure to thrive and suggested genetic testing. At that point, my friend suggested that I have a kinesiologist test my baby. Perhaps that would put an end to our endless misery. For some background, my parents and siblings do not believe in natural healing, dowsing, supplements, etc. I grew up in a home that was very pro the conventional route to the extent that it’s become almost a value. And so, I could not bring myself to make the call. A neighbor of mine who does energy healing and heard about our situation called me on the phone to ask if she could offer some help. When I gave her my consent, she performed the process over the phone and told me she believes my baby is allergic to dairy formula. She encouraged me to switch to a peabased formula, which I did. Within hours, my baby perked up. It’s a week later and she’s baruch Hashem playing on the floor with my other

‫ונשמרתם מאוד לנפשותיכם‬ ,‫ וועסט–נייל וויירוס‬,‫היט זיך פון ליים דיזיעז‬ ‫רעאקציע צו ביסן‬ ַ ‫און ַאלערגישע‬

!‫ַא געזונטן זומער‬ kids and acting like the toddler she’s becoming. I’m sharing my story here because I’m sure there are other women, even readers of Wellspring, who might be hesitant to try the alternative route, whether because of different misconceptions they’ve been harboring or because it’s simply not the thing to do in their family or social circle. I understand that because I come from the same place. But especially when a solution is called for and conventional medicine hasn’t been of help, it’s a good idea to simply give another avenue a try. It may just be what your child or you need to bring about the salvation you’re desperate for, with Hashem’s help.

NE W!

With much appreciation for an incredible magazine,

Get in touch!

Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

Any health information, advice, or suggestions published here are the opinion of the letter writer and are not independently investigated, endorsed, or validated by Wellspring. Always seek the advice of a qualified health professional or medical practitioner regarding any medical advice, condition, or treatment.

Y. D.

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For those with higher standards ℠

TORAH WELLSPRING By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Paradigm Shift

When we replace resignation with acceptance, life’s panorama is so refreshing

At this time of year, all of us are gearing up for the upcoming summer season. For some, this means traveling to a new location to spend the summer there, and for others, it means staying home. Even those who stay home feel a shift, often characterized by a change of pace or absence of those who are away for the season. 18

WELLSPRING / JULY 2023

Whether it’s spending the time in the company of others, such as in a summer home setting, or experiencing a change where those around us have relocated for the season, many of us find ourselves noticing both our blessings and our lacks at this time. When we’re subjected to a closer view of what others have, our instinct is to take note of where our haves fall short. This one has a nicer summer home, that one’s kids are so refined. My neighbors are spending their summer in a picturesque

setting while I’m stuck in the sweltering city. Regardless of our locale, most of us, in our own unique circumstances, will find that summertime subjects us to the kind of change that can facilitate much growth. Growth, we know, never happens on its own. It happens when, like in an intense boot-camp training, we utilize a trying moment as a means to come closer to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Let’s understand how this could play out with our summer-related nisyonos in particular and the challenges of life in general. It’s Just Not Bashert—Not The most common sentiment we employ to self-pacify when we notice our own lack is to tell ourselves, “I guess this wasn’t bashert for me.” Usually expressed in resignation, accompanied by a sigh, it’s our way of conveying that we’ve given up. It’s not bashert for me to send my kids to camp/have this type of child/that kind of marriage/a smooth-sailing life, etc. We’ve accustomed ourselves so strongly to this thought that it’s become almost instinctive. Even when a relatively minor mishap occurs, such as a missed ride or a ruined project, our knee-jerk response is “not bashert.” The most pronounced downside of this approach is that it weighs heavily on our nefesh. It doesn’t feel good to carry around an attitude that implies “tough luck.” It leaves us feeling forgotten, abandoned, unseen, and forsaken. For those around me, this blessing was bashert, but for me it wasn’t. So how can we view the very same circumstances in a way that facilitates growth? The wise, healthy approach is not about denial; it’s about a refreshing paradigm shift. Instead of focusing on what’s not bashert for us, we can see the circumstance we’re in as this is bashert for me. “It’s bashert for me that I shouldn’t have that.”

“This disappointment was bashert for me.” Instead of the not-bashert, it’s the yes-bashert. It is destined for me to experience what I’m experiencing. This isn’t only a difference in semantics. It has the potential to elevate our whole attitude, moving us from feeling abandoned to feeling chosen, to seeing the purpose in what we’re enduring. When we take a good look at the life we do have with a growth mindset—especially the deficiencies—we often come away with deeper insights into how our circumstances can facilitate growth. What message can I take from my situation? How can I hone my character as a result of what I’m going through? It is such an approach that can enable us to channel the circumstance toward its intended purpose. There’s a Reason for This At first, the shift from “it’s not bashert” to “it is bashert” requires heavy concentration. But after a short while of rewiring those neurons, we start to take note of just how beneficial the revised approach is not only for our ruchniyus, but also our wellbeing, our peace of mind. For example, a young man or woman who’s been in shidduchim for a while might think, “It’s simply not bashert for me to get married yet.” How detrimental such an attitude feels for the nefesh! Instead, this individual can think, “It’s bashert for me to have this time now.” From this perspective, they can start to explore just how beneficial this period can be for them. Instead of seeing it as a time of abandonment or limbo, they can utilize the opportunity for self-development, for pursuing interests that bring out the best in them, for coming closer to Hakadosh Baruch Hu through their challenge. Of course, experiencing this paradigm shift doesn’t always come that easily. Later, with a vantage point of view, it’s empowering to look back

and notice, “Wow, now I understand why it was bashert for me to endure this particular journey at that time.” But during the actual nisayon, noticing the silver lining is not our instinctive response. As human beings, we seek comfort. We seek pleasure. Challenging circumstances don’t give us that from the outset. But, if we put our heart and mind to it, choosing to see how this situation is bashert for me, we can come away with so much. Whether we’re struggling financially, with our chinuch, in our shalom bayis, or any other area, every one of us has our own set of deficiencies. Instead of trying to be mechazek ourselves by telling ourselves, “That’s simply not bashert for me,” we can choose to reframe and say, “This is the life Hashem chose for me, and I want to utilize it as a means for my growth. I was handpicked for this mission, and my life circumstances are tailor-made for my purpose.” Notice how this shift in perspective leaves us feeling noticed, chosen, beloved, and secure—even if the tangible details aren’t that pleasant. And with an approach like this, we are able to embrace the package that is our life. Glorified Denial? The Mishnah in Berachos (9:5) famously teaches, “One is obligated to bless for the negative just as one is obligated to bless for the positive.” In his commentary on Parashas Chukas, the Be’er Mayim Chayim asks the common question: How is it possible to thank for the mishaps in our life, the challenges and disappointments, in the same way we thank for the berachos and gifts? Are we glorifying denial here, pretending that good and bad are equal? The Be’er Mayim Chayim answers that when we internalize that there’s no such thing as ra, that even in the apparent negative lies incredible potential for tov,

WELLSPRING / TAMMUZ 5783

TORAH WELLSPRING

thanking for what appears negative becomes a sensible endeavor. To our human eyes, for example, challenges in parenting might seem like ra, but what the Mishnah reminds us so powerfully here is to take a deeper look. If we look beneath the surface, we’ll find the blessing in our circumstances. We’ll see how we can come to a better place as a result, to become more accepting individuals, to hone our character, to develop more patience and kindness. And when that happens, thanking for this outwardly challenging experience isn’t denial at all. The Be’er Mayim Chayim proceeds with the familiar analogy of a visit to a doctor or dentist. Even if the treatment the patient receives isn’t pleasant, he understands that it is good for him. And so, even if it hurts at that moment in time, he will thank the doctor because he’s enabling him to heal. If thanking for perceived ra is an obligation, with which berachah do we fulfill this command? Rav Shlomo Kluger notes that we do so every morning when we thank Hashem “she’asah li kol tzorki —that He fills all my needs for me.” It is in these soothing words that we acknowledge: Hashem gave me exactly what I need. He gave me this marriage, these children, these life circumstances. When we internalize this message, we elevate ourselves not only in ruchniyus; our emotional landscape changes too. Recognizing that this is precisely the life that is bashert for me ushers in much menuchas hanefesh. Once we’ve experienced this paradigm shift, we understand the wisdom in David Hamelech’s words, “Those who seek Hashem lack for nothing” (Tehillim 34:11). David Hamelech isn’t telling us that those who seek Hashem have all the riches and comforts in the world. Rather, they lack for nothing—and that’s because this kind of Yid, the one who seeks Hashem and makes avodas Hashem the centerpiece of his life, acknowledges that every20

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thing I have is just what I need, and everything I don’t have is just what I don’t need. In the small picture, success and happiness is when we acquire what we think we need in this world. But in the big picture, true success is when we accumulate nitzchiyus. Hashem has enough in his coffers to make us all rich, but in His kindness, He looks at the big picture for us. He gives us just what He knows we need so we can acquire our utmost nitzchiyus. In Social Settings With this perspective, we’re able to understand the mitzvah of lo sachmod, which becomes especially relevant when we’re spending our summer in close proximity to others. Commentators famously ask, “How can I control my emotions? Isn’t jealousy a feeling that comes up in my heart when I notice that someone has an asset or attribute I’d love for myself?” The Chinuch offers a thought-provoking explanation that urges us to explore and effect change in our mindset. The mitzvah of lo sachmod, he expounds, is essentially a positive commandment for us Yidden: to work toward believing and understanding that whatever I don’t have is because it’s good for me this way. In the same way someone with a large shoe size won’t lust for a smaller-sized shoe because he clearly understands the discomfort he’d experience if he tried squeezing into it, when we come from this point of view, we become filled with so much tranquility about the precise package Hashem handpicked for us. The more we feed ourselves such messages, strengthening our belief that Hakadosh Baruch Hu fills our every need, the more armed and able we are to fulfill lo sachmod in a moment that has the potential to trigger envy. Especially if we’re spending time with others this summer, it’s a good idea to have the words “she’asah li kol tzorki” on our lips and in our

minds all season long. It’s bashert for me to have exactly the package Hashem has sent my way, no more and no less. And this perspective is helpful even vis-à-vis our own experiences, not just in relation to others. For instance, when we’re sitting in traffic, instead of fussing over what could have been, how we could have taken a different route or left the house at a different time, we can simply reroute our thoughts. She’asah li kol tzorki. I’m not sitting here because this traffic happened. This traffic happened because I was meant to sit here. And just like that, everything changes. From this shift in viewpoint, we have the clarity to ask ourselves: How can I benefit from being here? Which spiritual muscles can I exercise right now? Perhaps I can work on my patience, on acceptance. It’s a new opportunity right there. The Chasam Sofer explains that this is precisely what we thank for when reciting the berachah acharonah of Borei nefashos: “Blessed are You, Hashem…Who creates many beings and their deficiencies.” On a simple level, we thank for our lack, i.e., hunger, upon the completion of a meal, because as a result of that lack we’re experiencing the pleasure of satiety. Understood in the context of our conversation, we extrapolate a deeper meaning. Thank You, Hashem, we’re conveying, for our deficiencies, because it is through our lacks that we’re able to experience such growth, such connection to You. Every time I acknowledge a deficiency from the right perspective, recognizing that this is bashert for me, I’m able to utilize it as a vehicle for my growth. This summer, we can make it a she’asah li kol tzorki season. May we merit utilizing every opportunity Hashem sends our way, including more challenging moments when we notice our lacks, for growth and deepened connection. With our newly acquired kirvas Elokim, we will enjoy our best summer yet.

SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

Watch Out for the White-Tipped Waves The Gemara in Bava Basra (73a) relates fascinating stories told by Rabbah bar bar Chanah. These esoteric episodes provide penetrating insight into the human condition and offer invaluable advice on confronting our greatest challenges.

“Those who go to the sea told me that the wave that sinks a ship looks to have an edge of white fire at its tip. But when you hit it with a club that has names of G-d written on it…[the wave] settles down.”

The solution? Attack it with the names of Hashem. Our choices and actions should be driven by Hashem’s will for us, not by the body’s desire for instant gratification—no matter how innocent, pure, and noble it may seem.

The Vilna Gaon presents an in-depth explanation of this pithy parable, comparing the traveller to the neshamah that passes through this world like a trip across the ocean. Sailors don’t live on the sea; they use the sea as a method of travel to access different ports, collecting valuable merchandise to bring back home.

“What’s wrong with just one piece of chocolate? I know I can stop after that.”

So, too, the neshamah’s trip through this world is certainly not permanent, but merely to collect as much merit as possible before moving on to the World to Come. The ship that carries the sailors over the ocean is like the body that transports the soul in this world, and the trials and tribulations we face in our lifetime are like the waves that rock the boat. However, there is one wave that doesn’t merely shake the ship but can cause it to sink—that is the yetzer hara, which seeks to destroy man’s body and ruin his soul. The yetzer hara burns inside a person like a fire that has a unique fringe of white at its tip. Why? Because it starts out looking innocent and pure, with noble intentions, only to trip us up when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and accede to its insidious invitation.

“It’s a mitzvah to eat a lot on Shabbos. Just like I don’t lose any money on Shabbos preparations, I don’t gain any extra calories eating Shabbos food.” Left to our own analysis, we may trip ourselves up while rationalizing a sincere motivation. The parah adumah illustrates this idea. Chukim are laws that don’t appear to have a reason, that don’t resonate with our intellect, or necessarily satisfy our emotions. Nonetheless, we perform them enthusiastically because we know that Hashem only commands us to engage in behaviors that are in our best interest, that elevate our neshamah to grow closer to him. Hashem wants us to have a healthy body in order to best transport our soul on its mission in this world. Any choice or action that causes us harm—as tempting and enticing as it may appear—hinders our ability to fulfill our task. Watch out for the white-tipped waves.

Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood. He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-578-8800, email info@soveya.com, or visit www. soveya.com.

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