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Wellspring’s Wellspring’s Wellspring’s Wellspring’s Community Community Community Community offers their best offers offers offers their their their best best best tips for keeping tips tips for tips for keeping for keeping keeping the kids strong the the kids the kids kids strong strong strong this winter this this winter this winter winter

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COPY & RESEARCH

Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC

Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson

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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

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‫ברוך השם יום יום‬ WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5783

EDITOR'S NOTE

In Let-Go Mode

ne of the most powerful parenting tips I ever received was regarding the response to a child’s questionable behavior. When we notice our child having a hard time with a particular skill, such as being punctual, or with a mitzvah, such as saying the truth or making berachos, we should be taking that as a message from Above, a reminder to look inward and see how we can improve in that particular skill or mitzvah. As the Ba’al Shem Tov famously taught, and is touched upon in this issue’s cover feature, whenever we see something in someone that irritates or annoys us, the reason we’re seeing it is because we have work to do in that specific area. Otherwise, the behavior wouldn’t bother us so much, or at all. This thought came to mind on Rosh Hashanah when I walked down the Kosel Plaza toward the holiest place in this world on one of the most exalted days of our year and noticed some of our fellow brothers and sisters in jeans and tees, phones protruding from their pocket or in their palm. A young pair skipped through the plaza, motorcycle helmets slung over their shoulders, as they headed toward the parking lot. It was a heartbreaking moment for me, and the tefillah that came to my lips was “Meloch al kol ha’olam kulo…” Hashem, how we wait for the day when every Yid and every creature will recognize Your kingship and serve You with all their heart. And then, as I continued walking, I remembered. There are the things we can do to help other Yidden feel Hashem’s pres-

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

ence more in their lives, and then there’s also us. What was the message for me, in my own life, that the behavior of our searching brothers and sisters was highlighting? There was certainly more I could do to coronate Hashem as my King, in my way. To keep remembering that everything—every single detail—in my life is perfectly orchestrated from Above is not a simple matter, an area that can always use some improvement. How challenging it is to relinquish control to a Higher Power, to keep reminding myself that even the minutest of details, down to the missed bus and housekeeper’s no-show, are all from Him.

s hard as it is, when we manage to relinquish control, we get to experience the joy of Sukkos, the joy of putting the planting tools down and saying, “It’s time for harvest.” I’ve done mine, and I leave the rest up to Hashem, Who knows what’s best for me. Relinquishing control also extends into the general topic of this magazine—health. As Yidden, we each do our part in maintaining our health, and then we put the proverbial tools down and say, “I’ve done mine. The rest is up to Hashem.” Neither obsessing over health nor ignoring it completely is sound living. A friend of mine recently told me about her aunt who would rather not eat at all than cook as much as an egg in an aluminum tin. Sadly, this woman passed away at a young age from a brief illness. We can do ours, certainly, but beyond that space we must remember that Hashem is the One in control. So yes,

this is a health magazine, and in these pages we advocate for better living, but taking the endeavor to an extreme means taking control of a domain that’s not ours. There are times when our editorial team sits over particular lines that allude to all-or-nothing living, and we might decide to tame down the language or delete a phrase or two so as not to convey that the pursuit of health must be treated with such meticulousness that it sucks the joy out of living.

hen we’re in let-go mode, we can enjoy the pleasures of life. We can take it all in, and even celebrate that yes, there’s work cut out for me, but then there’s the part where we leave it all up to Hashem. The sukkah is that kind of let-go place. Devoid of the usual comforts, open to the starry sky, the sukkah invites us into that vulnerable space where we just let ourselves be. It’s from this place that we can welcome Hashem, our King, into our life. Wishing you all a joyous, lechtige Yom Tov,

n a m d e i r F y Shiff

WELL- PUT “Anyone who makes a fence around their eating and drinking on a Yom Tov, it is as if they built an altar and brought a sacrifice upon it.”

—Rabbi Eli Glaser, quoting the Gemara in Sukkah 45b

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5783

CONTENTS

OCTOBER 2022 TISHREI 5783 ISSUE 81 Our next issue will appear on Wednesday, November 9th iy"H.

WELL INFORMED 18

Springboard

Spiritual Eating

Torah Wellspring

Health Updates

LIVING WELL

SAMPLE This Month: Kefir

FYI

Community

Fitness

Conference I

Conference II

Ask

Medical Saga

100 The Functional Dietitian 103 DIY

By Libby Silberman If there’s anything I didn’t realize before starting out, it was how soon my kefir would be done. My neural pathways had up until then associated jars with patience and long periods of time, and I was pleasantly surprised when I realized I could have my kefir the very next day!

WELLBEING 106 OT@Home 122 Tap In

NEW COLUMN!

124 Inner Parenting

FAREWELL

129 SEASONED 12

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

170 Holistic

NEW COLUMN!

Meet Simcha And his Rayim toolbox

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5783

CONTENTS

86 CUP OF TEA With Shelly Dembe By Roizy Baum A devoted nurse who eventually traded the ICU for a yoga studio, Shelly Dembe discovered that the inner peace her soul sought in yoga was present in Judaism all along.

WELLBEING FEATURE Goodbye, Comfort Zone By Shiffy Friedman We all have our moments when we engage in self-sabotaging behavior, and when the moment passes—or even sometimes while we’re in it—we ask the obvious question: Why do I keep doing this?

110

137

YOM TOV TREATS Cherry Frosé Pops By Yossi & Malky Levine Refreshing cherry popsicles make a great way to end the meal. Or perhaps a palate cleanser? Well, both! Intense cherry flavor, healthy, and so easy to make! The rosé just makes you feel Yom Tov all around.

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

Greet success And the ultimate simchas yom tov Simcha is a wonderful child with Down's Syndrome. His confidence, commitment and fiery passion make him a leader whose acquired skills often surpass those of typical children. Watch Simcha glow as he dwells in the sukkah he built and revels in his own success.

Simcha teamed with friends to build a sukkah. Because Rayim teamed with his family to build Simcha. Team with Rayim. Build on our success.

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WELLBEING FEATURE

We care for children

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Long term and short term care + Critical Airway (Tracheotomy)

Mechanical Ventilator Complex Seizure Disorders + Neuromuscular Diseases + Chromosomal Diseases + IV Therapy + Gastrostomy/Nasogastric Tube Feedings + Intellectual/ Developmental Disorders + Cardiac Diseases + Traumatic Brain Injury + Wound Care + Terminal Illness / Hospice Care + Peritoneal dialysis + +

Dialysis department is under the leadership of

Dr. Kenneth Lieberman, Chief Pediatric Nephrology at Hackensack University Medical Center

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Halachic Medical Board Rabbi on Staff Kosher Food Menu Jewish Recreational Program Shabbos Accommodations for Family 24 Hour Refuah Concierge Yom Tov Events Shabbos Program Hebrew and Yiddish Speaking

Only the best will do.

Sending a child to a long term facility is hard. You do thorough research to make sure that every detail matches up. Your standards are high and no aspect of your child’s care can be overlooked.

But there’s one thing that you want more than anything.

You want your child to be happy. You want to put a smile on their face and make them as comfortable as humanly possible under the circumstances. You don’t want to rely on just the medical expertise. You want a compatible environment that respects and loves the life you live.

That’s Refuah’s mission.

To make sure that every child that comes through our doors is given not just stellar medical care, but is wrapped in an environment of warmth, love and connection to Yiddishkeit.

Wishing you all a Chag Sameach

Dr. Seth Kurtz, MD

Medical Director, The childern’s center at the Phoenix

We are proud to be affiliated with

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The joy is in the care.

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WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5783

SPRINGBOARD

On Candida, Diffusers, Juicing, and More

Memories of My Mother Issue #80: Wellbeing Feature

The article on “what home means for me,” really touched a raw nerve. Having recently lost my dear mother, it was very moving to read the piece and meditate on this question for myself: What are the memories I have of my childhood home? What role did my mother play in creating positive “home” associations for me? And, most of all, what kind of messages am I passing forward to my own young children? My mother was a very special woman, a very present 18

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

mother, and I miss her so much. Thanks for helping me appreciate the gifts she passed along.

Name withheld upon request

Successful Treatment Issue #67: FYI

I’d like to thank Faigy Schonfeld and the Wellspring team for being good shlichim time and again. My

most recent positive experience, thanks to your highly informative publication, was baruch Hashem successfully treating a recurring case of candida by following the advice in the FYI column. The abundance of information on the topic first gave me clarity to understand the condition, and then offered excellent advice that really worked for me. This was after I tried medication in the past, to no avail. Thank you from a very grateful reader. F.Z.

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WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5783

Quick Question

SPRINGBOARD

Question: Whenever a pediatrician is unsure about how to treat my child, especially at the urgent care center or when an infant is running a fever, I’m sent to the emergency room. We’re usually released hours later after endless testing that reveals the condition was viral. Is there a way to avoid all those hours of testing and tension?

Answer: You’re right that visits to the emergency room often feel like a waste of time and energy, but in most cases, they are well worth it because ruling out more serious conditions is critical. Hopefully, they will always end in being just that—a waste—and not an indication of something more serious. If you’re feeling unsure, discuss this with a doctor you trust or consult with Hatzolah. Don’t make your own decision about rushing to the hospital on your own. In the case of severe stomach pain or difficulty breathing, Hatzolah will often rule out anxiety and panic attacks before rushing a patient into the hospital.

Wishing a healthy year for Klal Yisrael, Miriam Schweid, health consultant and kinesiologist

My Mediterranean Diet Experience

Diffuser Reviews Issue #76: DIY

Issue #80: The Functional Dietitian

I want to thank you for the wonderful natural diffuser recipe. I substituted the geranium with eucalyptus as I’m not fond of the geranium scent, and I’m so enjoying the soft and calm scents. I got rid of all the diffusers and potpourri in my home a while ago when I was expecting my first and found them to be itch-inducing and nauseating. It’s so nice to be able to have a lightly scented home without all the chemicals. Many thanks, Libby K. 20

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

Many thanks for a highly informative publication. I found Tamar Feldman’s article on the Mediterranean diet to be very thorough and well-presented. As a follower of the diet for almost a decade now, I’d like to report that the many health benefits attributed to the diet are actually tried-andtrue. In addition to freeing myself of digestive issues and the copious weight loss I experienced, I feel so much lighter and more energized. In place of the many meats and animal proteins I used to eat, I enjoy lots of roasted nuts and seeds in my delicious, colorful salads. It did require a mind switch—you mean,

I’m not having chicken for supper— but the benefits have made following this protocol well worth it. Penina T. New City, New York

Home Is Not the Same for Everyone Issue #80: Wellbeing Feature

It was heartwarming to read what Home means for so many people, but also left me feeling so alone with my own associations with the word Home. To be fair, responder #7 did mention that Home was a place of

Labeled for Greatness

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WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5783

The Doctor Is In

SPRINGBOARD

Question: I’m expecting a baby in the next few months. After the birth of my last child, I remember feeling sad, tearful, and exhausted, and I’m nervous to experience the same feelings again. I know that sleep deprivation is expected with a new baby, but what about the mood swings, crying, and overall uncertainty? I want to be excited about our new arrival but can’t stop thinking about how I felt the last time around.

Answer: Pregnancy and childbirth can be an extraordinary time as the body undergoes many changes. However, the physical and hormonal changes may lead to changes in mood and thoughts. Up to 15 percent of women experience anxiety or depression during pregnancy. Early recognition is an important first step on the road to recovery. Postpartum blues are common and can affect up to 85 percent of new mothers. This includes prolonged crying, anxiety, irritability, poor sleep, quick mood changes, and a sense of vulnerability. This usually occurs within the first several days following birth and may linger for up to two weeks postpartum. These are mild symptoms and improve without any treatment Postpartum anxiety (PPA) and depression (PPD) can be found in up to 20 percent of new mothers and are more serious. These last longer than blues, with more intense symptoms such as strong feelings of sadness, guilt, or anxiety and may be accompanied by feelings of detachment toward the new baby. Often, they also include lethargy and lack of motivation, constant fear or anxiety about the baby, and thoughts of hurting oneself or the baby. These thoughts can be experienced as “intrusive,” or unwanted and surprising. Symptoms of PPA or PPD may develop any time up to one year following childbirth and often do not resolve without treatment. Symptoms may start during pregnancy as well. Anyone with underlying depression or anxiety prior

to pregnancy is at risk for developing PPA and PPD. Stopping medication for these conditions is generally not recommended in pregnancy. Those with symptoms of anxiety or depression during pregnancy are at risk for worsening of these symptoms in the postpartum period. Past history of postpartum depression/anxiety or family history of depression/anxiety also increases risk. Other risk factors include recent stressors like a death in the family or change in family dynamics, a recent move, financial stress, and lack of partner support. While very common and often debilitating, PPA and PPD respond well to treatment. These include therapy (which can be done virtually in many instances) and medication. Treatment can be started during pregnancy and the postpartum period when appropriate. Treatment is not necessarily long term or forever. It’s important to note that untreated depression or anxiety during pregnancy and the postpartum period have been associated with negative developmental outcomes for the baby. Therefore, treating these conditions is important for both mother and baby. If you’re worried about being at risk for PPA or PPD, please speak with your ob-gyn or even your pediatrician. There are many safe and effective treatments available for both of these conditions. Wishing you a safe and healthy pregnancy and delivery, and an enjoyable postpartum period! Tal Weinberger, MD Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry Member, JOWMA

tension for her, but I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that for me, growing up, Home was not a place I wanted to be. Just because it’s the place where we were raised, and the only four walls we know we can sleep over in (hopefully!) without having to ask 22

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

permission to be there doesn’t mean it evokes warm and cozy feelings for us. Once I reached young adulthood and realized the detriments my home life had left on my heart and

soul, I was ready to move on and have my own space. Many of my family members were appalled at the thought because I wasn’t yet married. The message they conveyed was that this is your home, so this is where you must be. That was understandable

ENTRATE

DD ED ·

· NO C

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE GRAPES

Question:

Any tips for helping my selective (“picky”) eater eat better?

Answer: Sukkos is the perfect time to experiment with new foods, with a focus on the seasonal vegetables. That means pumpkins, zucchini, yellow squash, acorn squash, and butternut squash. When kids play with food, they gain valuable exposure to it. Kids can become more familiar with these delicious foods by engaging in non-bite activities. Some ideas for you to get your kids excited about seasonal veggies: • Butternut masterpiece: Scoop out half a butternut squash and paint designs on its shell. • Squash harvest: Using a large container and some dirt, hide a few types of decorative squash and encourage kids to dig for them. Hay or rice could also be used. • Candle gourds: Empty a few small decorative squashes and insert a tea light candle in each one. • Plant a garden using the seeds from your squash. • Make squash soup together—and really let them help! Make some fun and delicious memories this Yom Tov season! Yaffi Lvova, RDN

Yaffi Lvova, RDN, is a dietitian and food enjoyment activist who encourages positive nutrition through writing, speaking, and Nap Time Nutrition, her video blog and podcast. Find out more at babybloomnutrition.com.

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

Pediatric Nutrition

SPRINGBOARD

under normal circumstances, and how I wished I could stay living at home, but when Home doesn’t fit the bill for being a warm, loving, positive space, then no, it is not Home by any standards. Baruch Hashem, by now I’m married and living at Home with my husband and children. And I thank Hashem every day that Home for them is what it’s meant to be. I implore all parents reading this to take a good look at the goings on in their four walls and ask themselves, “Am I truly giving my children a Home?” Name withheld upon request

Juices or Smoothies? Issue #79: Sample

As an avid smoothie maker (and eater), I’d love to know how smoothies compare to juices. Are there any health benefits to juicing rather than blending the entire fruit or vegetable? Thank you! Gittel Pollak Libby Silberman responds: Great question, and if you’re asking between two great things, that’s already awesome. Here are two quick differences, though there are more. First, smoothies are much more filling. They’re a perfect meal replacement, and you can add protein, such as tahini, nut butter, yogurt, and seeds (e.g., flaxseed, chia), and even complex

cmreaarteriage the your of reams d

carbs like oats. Juices can be filling if you use the correct combination of fruit and vegetables, but as filling as they are, you won’t feel satiated as long as you’d typically feel from a smoothie.

less marriage? stuck in a love y? Tired of being ar, blame game, & hostilit w ? ld ul co tf e y, & resen Sick of th helmed, lonel Feeling overw

Second, juices offer pure nutrients without the fibrous part of the plant, making them a lot easier to digest. They won’t cause the discomfort or bloating that too much raw fruit and vegetables can cause in smoothies, and they get digested in a matter of minutes.

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Keep in mind that you don’t have to make a choice between the two. You can totally have both by juicing in the morning and having a smoothie for lunch.

How to Get Respect & Reconnect

Whatever you do, don’t forget to enjoy!

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 26 TH

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WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5783

SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

Building an Altar with Leftovers

The Gemara in Sukkah 45b answers a question that has perplexed Yidden from time immemorial: “What to do with the Yom Tov leftovers?”

“I’ll just take one more piece. I don’t want it to go to waste.” This “altruistic” phrase has left many a person’s lips, only to allow permission for excess food to enter an already full system moments later.

we’ve had enough. Our appetite is stimulated, our taste buds are dancing, and our desire for more is raging. It’s at that exact moment the Maharsha is telling us to stop anyway. We’ve had our fill and we enjoyed it.

The Gemara suggests another option.

The leftovers, whether the second portions still on the table or the extra food being taken back into the kitchen, are an awesome opportunity to connect with Hashem—to sacrifice our will, our physical desire for temporary indulgence. We can use our table as an altar to connect with our soul and not get carried away with our already-satisfied body.

Commenting on the pasuk in Tehillim that we say at the end of Hallel, “…bind the festival [offering] with cords until the corners of the Mizbei’ach,” the Gemara concludes that “anyone who makes a fence around their eating and drinking on a Yom Tov, it is as if they built an altar and brought a sacrifice upon it.” In his explanation of this passage, the Maharsha provides a fascinating insight into human behavior and an invaluable tool for self-improvement. He writes: “Don’t overeat and don’t drink so much that it would not be for the sake of Heaven. And the leftovers that he does not eat and does not drink will be considered as if he built an altar and brought a sacrifice upon it…for just as the altar [in the Beis Hamikdash] atoned [for transgressions] so does the table [upon which we eat] atone [for transgressions].” When we’re in the middle of eating a delicious meal, one of the most difficult things for us to do is to hold back when

We don’t want the inspiration and elevation we achieved during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur to quickly fade away as we sit in the sukkah; the Maharsha is giving us a powerful tool to incorporate directly in our Yom Tov meals. We should enjoy them and show appreciation to those who took the time and effort to prepare the delicious food. But we should stop when we’ve had enough—even if we feel like eating more. For we can either sacrifice our health for a temporary indulgence or sacrifice our immediate desire for an eternal reward—and genuinely fulfill the words of Hallel that we say so often. For that’s really putting our words, and mouth, to the test.

Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood. He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-578-8800, email info@soveya.com, or visit www. soveya.com.

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

Trust is not a sukkah It cannot be built overnight, It is not taken apart after seven days, Powerful winds don’t blow it away, And it withstands intense heat. We look forward to serving you loyally as we have for the past 111 years

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5783

TORAH WELLSPRING By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Time to Rejoice! Thanks to the teshuvah process, we are able to experience invigorating joy on Sukkos

The joy of Sukkos! As is famously known, Sukkos is the Yom Tov that is the embodiment of simchah. It’s the Yom Tov for which the commandment of “vesamachta bechagecha—rejoice in your Yom Tov,” was specifically given. 28

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

As well, the Gemara teaches that “mi shelo ra’ah Simchas Beis Hasho’eivah lo ra’ah simchah beyamav—one who didn’t experience the Simchas Beis Hasho’eivah in the days of the Beis Hamikdash did not experience simchah in his life.” This statement speaks volumes of the koach of simchah inherent in the Yom Tov. If it’s precisely here that the crux of joy lies, we want to understand why this is so and where we can find it.

SELECTING THE BEST FROM THE REST, EASY.

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5783

SPRINGBOARD

The Great Inhibitor The sefarim offer various reasons why the Yom Tov of Sukkos in particular is so intertwined with the power of simchah. Each deserves an article of its own, but in this space we will cover one simple explanation. But before we explore this connection, let us first understand a primary obstacle of happiness: what gets in the way of our attainment of contentment? The list is lengthy. It includes not being cognizant of or connected to the gifts in our life, feeling small, unworthy, or unfulfilled, to name a few. And one of the most influential inhibitors of simchah, which lies at the heart of these reasons, is fear. For example, the reason I might have a hard time feeling connected to the gifts Hashem showers upon me is because I’m afraid to feel indebted. Or I might be afraid to focus on them lest they will be taken away from me. Or I might be generally anxious and thus unable to feel at peace and connect to my inner fount of joy. Regardless of how fear plays a role in our life, when we live in a state of anxiety, we simply can’t experience joy. The two are mutually exclusive. And so, as long as we feel pachad, we simply can’t feel simchah. That anxiety is rampant nowadays is not news. The question the masses seek to answer is, how can I treat my anxiety so I can get to really live? Within the variety of solutions available to us, some work better than others, and some don’t work at all. But in order to cure this chronic state of fear that can wreak havoc in every facet of our life, we must first be cognizant of what lies at its root. We Yidden are blessed to have a

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

Torah that provides answers to the question that has plagued even the greatest minds for centuries. The Torah tells us that when a Yid is born into this world, Hakadosh Baruch Hu embeds in his nefesh the capacity for fear so that he can acquire yiras Shamayim. It is through this quality that a Yid distances himself from sin and draws closer to mitzvos, thereby achieving his purpose in this world. Part and parcel of achieving our tachlis is a healthy dose of fear. Like the child who must have the right amount of awe and respect for his teacher in order for him to reap the benefits of school—such as absorbing the lessons and refining his character—a necessary ingredient for the attainment of our purpose in this world is fear. It’s through this fear that we eventually cultivate and nurture a loving relationship with Hashem, and also merit feeling His love for us. In Alei Shur, Rav Shlomo Wolbe zt”l expounds on this idea in his discussion of Yaakov Avinu’s fear before meeting Eisav in Parshas Vayishlach. It was a fear of Hashem, he writes— not a misplaced fear of Eisav—that Yaakov experienced during that time. In the same vein, Rebbe Nachman of Breslov writes that the only reason Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the capacity for fear is for a Yid to channel it into his relationship with Hashem, to cultivate a greater awareness of His Omniscience. Hence, a Yid who is zocheh to channel his fear into a fear of Heaven, living with the cognizance that there’s a Hashem whose call he must heed and whose Torah he must follow, effectively utilizes the property of fear. As we witness with tzaddikim—they truly have nothing else to

fear but Hakadosh Baruch Hu. However, when this is not the case, the sefarim teach, this element of fear infiltrates into countless other areas of awareness. Depending on how much of the fear factor is misplaced, the individual will end up being afraid of various other phenomena. He may live in anxiety—which is misplaced fear—over the world’s state of turmoil, the failing economy, an impending catastrophe, his children’s wellbeing, and/or his own safety. The plethora of targets that a person’s anxiety can potentially latch on to is infinite. One can lose sleep and serenity over an endless array of discomforting what-ifs and should-haves, over the fear of feeling unloved, the fear of feeling small, the fear of feeling unnoticed, the fear of failure and even the fear of success, all thanks to an innate capacity for fear that hasn’t been channeled properly. Here to Stay To entirely eradicate yirah from our psyche is not only impossible but also counterproductive. Hakadosh Baruch Hu implanted this emotion into our nefesh for good reason. However, our work as Yidden is to recognize that we have this emotion and to focus on guiding it toward its rightful purpose—for cultivating greater yiras Shamayim within. Instead of being afraid of this calamity or that imminent event or our own shadow, we can start to conduct our fear in one, and only one, direction: awe and fear of Hashem. When we live this way, all other anxieties dissipate. To be clear, genuine fear of Hashem is unlike any other

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With anxiety out of the way, our natural flow of simchah can come to the fore again.

fear. There’s nothing unhealthy about it; it is not one iota detrimental to the fearer. It does not exhibit as obsessive, nor does it result in extreme measures of piety that only appear to be avodas Hashem. It does not negatively impact those around the fearer either. On the contrary, it builds one from within and suffuses him with a confidence and positivity that is unmatched. Tzadikim and those Yidden who manage to channel their fear in the right direction don’t live an existence that’s gripped in anxiety. Rather, their cognizance of Hashem’s greatness propels them to serve Him with joy and emotional ease. Yiras Shamayim is characterized by zehirus, caution from aveiros, but not pachad. As long as we live with this sense of caution, we have no anxiety, but if we disengage from it, we give anxiety the opportunity to enter our midst. With the recognition of Hashem’s omnipotence—that He is the one with all the power—comes not only a sense of serenity but also a 32

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

natural disengagement from aveiros. Thus, starting out by focusing on Hashem’s greatness essentially sets off a cycle: I choose to recognize His greatness, which thereby increases my fear and awe of Him, which then distances me from any questionable activity and thought—and this only serves to increase my fear and awe of Him. And as long as this is my focus, my fear and anxiety of other trivialities—in comparison to Hashem and His greatness—will decrease. Citing the passage, “Pachadu beTzion chata’im—sinners of Tzion were afraid” (Yeshayahu 33:14), the Gemara relates an anecdote of one of the Tanna’im who noticed that another Tanna was afraid. He encouraged him to look inward and find the aveirah that may have caused this emotional response. In other words, being distant from Hashem—which is by definition the function of aveiros—is always at the core of anxiety. And in the context of this conversation, the link between the two becomes

clear: When I channel my awe and fear into my relationship with Hashem, I don’t fear something else. The purpose of fear is for us to be mekabel the yoke of Heaven, fully and completely. Once that happens, we become more cognizant of Hashem’s kochos, more aware of His greatness as well as His love for us. When that is in place, there’s no space left to feel fear of another human being or any other condition. With this perspective in mind, when we notice that our fear is leading us down the wrong path—when we start feeling any kind of misplaced fear, whether we’re afraid of losing control, we recognize that we’re afraid of others and their opinion of us, or even if we notice that we’re afraid of aveiros to an obsessive level—because that’s not genuine yiras Shamayim— we can mentally do the work to gently shift our perspective. Yes, we can tell ourselves, I recognize that I’m experiencing misplaced fear right now. I want to use this as an

nightly Simchas Beis Hasho’eivah in the times of the Beis Hamikdash. The Gemara in Sukkah (53a) relates that the crowds would sing, “Ashrei yalduseinu shelo beishah es ziknoseinu…— Praiseworthy are the years of our youth [when we didn’t commit any sins] that they haven’t embarrassed us in our old age…” In the same vein, those who repented in their old age chanted, “Praiseworthy are our present days during which we repented for what we committed in the past…” The focus of the event was on the abolition of sin, on distancing from that which instills debilitating fear in the heart of a Yid. It is this, the participants at the event that was the pinnacle of joy in the annual calendar understood, that inhibits one from being able to experience simchah beyamav.

opportunity to ask Hashem that my only fear should be of Him. I want to utilize this moment to ponder His greatness and remind myself that He is the One with the ultimate power, only He is the One who can help me, and He is the only one on whom I can rely, now and always. He wants me to live a life of pleasure, and by engaging in His mitzvos and distancing myself from aveiros, I can be zocheh to experience that. Make Place for Joy On the heels of the Yamim Nora’im, after we’ve cleansed ourselves of aveiros and paid close attention to repairing our relationship with the Ribono shel Olam, so much of the misplaced fear we may have experienced in the past has been rerouted into its proper place that our pachad is no longer unnecessarily

exacerbated in those areas. With our strengthened yiras Shamayim and a commitment to focus on His greatness, after having coronated Hashem as our King, the fear that previously inhibited our simchah is no longer present. In its place, we can fill our hearts with true simchah. With anxiety out of the way, our natural flow of simchah can come to the fore again. When I’m no longer afraid of how others think of me—because only doing Hashem’s will is important; when I’m no longer afraid of the failing economy—because I know Hashem will give me exactly what I need; when I’m no longer afraid of how my child will turn out—because I know Hashem has a perfect plan for him and all of us; when my fear is channeled only in my awe of Heaven—I can start to feel joy. This, the sefarim tell us, is the joy of Sukkos. Indeed, this was the theme at the

No pill or mindfulness technique in the world can dull the anxiety that is borne of sin. True, one can be free of sin and yet still experience misplaced fear if he hasn’t yet learned how to channel his innate yirah into his relationship with Hashem, but as long as the teshuvah process isn’t in motion, the fear is there to stay. The moment a Yid commits a sin, as a result of yiras Shamayim that is yet lacking, the natural emotional reaction will be a sense of fear. It’s a sense of discomfort and unease, of guilt and regret. The person may choose to dull or numb these unpleasant emotions, but they will remain in his heart until he chooses to improve his deeds. Since pachad and cheit are correlated, the first step in the treatment of anxiety is, simply put, repentance. By distancing ourselves from aveiros, which was the work we invested in during the month of Elul and the yemei ratzon—in our desire to come closer to Hashem—we reaped an incredible benefit of making space in our heart for true simchah to emerge. By continuing to invest our efforts to channel our innate fear into our relationship with Hashem, may we continue to feel this true and invigorating simchah all year long.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman welcomes questions and comments on this column. Please write to rabbiefriedman@wellspringmagazine.com.

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5783

UPDATES By Esther Retek

The Secret to Happiness Researchers are finding it in the Sukkos message Sukkos and simchah are deeply intertwined. Whether it’s the cozy sukkah atmosphere, good food, or quality time, everything contributes to the deeper level of simchah intrinsic to this Yom Tov. It’s precisely because of our temporal accommodations, our sefarim teach us, that we experience true happiness during these days.

“It turned out that status-oriented people in particular, for whom money and success were especially important, overestimated the increase in life satisfaction that purchasing a home would provide. Intrinsically-oriented people, on the other hand, for whom family and friends are comparatively more important, did not,” the researchers noted.

Incredibly, it seems like researchers are just catching up with some hard evidence to prove this.

This underscores the reality that people do not necessarily follow their own preferences when making decisions, but rather their—sometimes distorted—beliefs about their preferences. These beliefs, in turn, may be influenced by outside factors such as socialization, parents, or values conveyed in advertisements. According to Odermatt, knowing more about how these kinds of influences affect one’s individual perceptions could be extremely helpful in many areas.

Prof. Dr. Alois Stutzer and Dr. Reto Odermatt of the University of Basel’s Faculty of Business and Economics examined whether home-buyers’ expected increase in life satisfaction actually materialized following their move into their own four walls. Their results, outlined in the Journal of Happiness Studies, were surprising. The authors evaluated the statements of over 800 future homeowners in Germany. The dataset contained information about people’s expected and actual life satisfaction. On a scale of 0–10, respondents were asked to evaluate their current level of happiness and to predict where they would fall on the scale in five years. Results indicated that homeownership does not result in an increase of happiness as predicted by the future homeowners themselves. However, there were differences between participants: 34

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

The researchers also commented on how the results prove that people often wrongly estimate how much satisfaction and happiness they will experience by purchasing something. They concluded by saying, “Intrinsic values therefore seem to be a better compass on the search for happiness in life than extrinsic values.” The words of Koheles coming to life in modern-day research.

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5783

UPDATES

Cry No More Is there hope for your hollering infant (and her exhausted mom)? Ushering in Yom Tov can feel quite overwhelming. Include a baby in the equation and things get really hectic, and if it’s a colicky, cranky baby, consider it impossible. In a new study published in Current Biology, scientists share the best strategy they have found to calm down infants who cry excessively. “Many parents suffer from babies’ nighttime crying,” says corresponding author Kumi Kuroda of the RIKEN Center for Brain Science in Japan. “That’s such a big issue, especially for inexperienced parents, that it can lead to parental stress and even to infant maltreatment in a small number of cases,” she says. Kuroda and her colleagues have been studying how infants react when taken for a five-minute walk, also known as the transport response. The response is an innate reaction seen in many mammals whose young are immature and unable to care for themselves. They observed that when these animals pick up their infants and start walking, the bodies of their young tend to become docile and their heart rates slow. Kuroda’s team wanted to compare the effects of the transport response—the relaxed reaction while being carried—with other conditions, such as motionless maternal holding or rocking, and also examine if the effects persist with longer carrying in human infants. The researchers compared 21 infants’ responses while under four conditions: being held by their walking mothers, held by their sitting mothers, lying in a still crib, or lying in a rocking cradle. The team found that when the mothers walked while carrying their babies, the crying infants calmed down and their heart rates slowed within 30 seconds. A similar calming effect occurred when the 36

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

infants were placed in a rocking cot, but not when the mother held the baby while sitting or placed the baby in a still crib. This suggests that holding a baby alone might be insufficient in soothing crying infants, contradicting the traditional assumption that maternal holding reduces infant distress. At the same time, movement has calming effects, likely activating a baby’s transport response. The effect was more evident when the holding and walking motions continued for five minutes. All crying babies in the study stopped crying, and nearly half of them fell asleep. But when the mothers tried to put their sleepy babies to bed, more than one-third of the participants became alert again within 20 seconds (sounds familiar?). The team found that all babies produced physiological responses, including changes in heart rate, that woke them up the second they were separated from their mother. However, if the infants were asleep for a longer period before being laid down, they were less likely to awaken during the process, the team found. “Even as a mother of four, I was very surprised to see the result. I thought a baby awoken during a laydown is related to how they’re put on the bed, such as their posture, or the gentleness of the movement,” Kuroda says. “But our experiment did not support these general assumptions.” Based on their findings, the team suggests a method for soothing and promoting sleep in crying infants. They recommend that parents hold crying infants and walk with them for five minutes, followed by sitting and holding infants for another five to eight minutes before putting them to bed, hopefully, for a good night’s sleep.

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Fact or Fiction? Exercise in a pill According to an article in Bone Research, scientists are working on a new compound called locamidazole (LAMZ) as a potential therapeutic drug that can cause similar effects to exercise. To test the new compound, researchers administered either 10mg/kg of LAMZ orally once daily, 6mg/kg LAMZ by injection twice daily, or a control solution for 14 days to male mice. Administration of LAMZ orally and by injection showed changes in both muscle and bone. Researchers noted that the treated subjects had wider muscle fibers and increased muscle strength when compared to the non-LAMZ-treated subjects. The study has shown that LAMZ can reinforce bone and 38

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

muscle with no negative effects on surrounding tissues and can function as a therapeutic drug by reinvigorating muscle and bone via PGC-1, mimicking physical exercise. Dr. Joseph Watso, an assistant professor at Florida State University, cautioned that “it will be an arduous task to develop one elixir of health to replace the innumerable benefits of regular physical activity and exercise.” He also noted that in certain cases, a drug may be the safer option than exercise, but where possible, “exercise should be the first consideration for those who have the capability to be physically active.” So whether that’s a yay or nay for you, the gym still wins.

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Canned Vegetables Where I live, the prices of fruits and vegetables have skyrocketed. Fresh salads or other vegetable side dishes—usually the “inexpensive Yom Tov dish”—are now a pricey option. As an alternative, canned vegetables are generally a lot cheaper than their fresh counterparts. Additionally, canned vegetables last until you’re ready to use them, making waste minimal. However, many people shy away from canned vegetables, assuming they are less healthy than fresh. On the contrary though, a study in Journal of the Science of Food and Agriculture shows canned vegetables actually have some nutritional benefit over fresh, including preserving vitamins A and C for a lot longer. So unless you’re watching your sodium (which is higher in canned vegetables) there’s good reason for you to check out the can aisle. Green beans, beets, corn, and mushrooms are just some great options. Roast them on high with some spices or mix them with onions and spices for an easy salad—and you have a quick, budgetfriendly side dish.

Leftovers Take the time after your Yom Tov meal (or on Chol Hamoed) to properly refreeze leftovers. We tend to leave the food in the fridge, expecting it to be eaten over the next few days. But who are we kidding? At that point everyone’s had enough. You’ll be glad you did this on winter evenings when supper is just not happening.

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

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ALTERNATIVE VIEW

BY FAIGY SCHONFELD

CAVITIES REGULARLY BRUSHING YOUR TEETH, SWISHING WITH MOUTHWASH, AND FLOSSING ARE ALL NICE. SO LONG AS YOU’RE USING CHEMICAL-FREE PRODUCTS, KEEPING YOUR MOUTH STERILE IS ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA. BUT THERE MAY BE BETTER, MORE IMPORTANT WAYS TO PROMOTE ORAL HEALTH, BY UNDERSTANDING WHAT’S REALLY CAUSING CAVITIES.

WELLSPRING / OCTOBER 2022

WHAT CAUSES CAVITIES? According to the CDC, tooth decay is a result of bacterial overgrowth in the mouth. The bacteria feed off carbs and sweets—like candy and soda— and produce acids that destroy tooth enamel. There are a few problems with this theory, one being that groups of indigenous people who don’t brush or floss and had fermentable carbohydrates stuck on their teeth were mostly free of tooth decay. Also, there are plenty of other foods that bacteria thrive on, such as milk, meat, fish, fruit, and vegetables, and those are not often associated with teeth trouble. Brushing, flossing, rinsing, and deep cleaning indeed help remove unwanted food particles and other substances from the mouth that if left there for too long can create plaque that eats away at tooth enamel. But there are other causes of plaque that have more to do with the types of foods a person eats as opposed to just how much of it is left inside their mouth after a meal. The root cause of tooth decay is actually an unhealthy diet deficient or devoid of important vitamins and minerals whose job it is to keep damaging plaque from forming on the surfaces of teeth. These important substances are meant to be used by the body as a type of dental shield, protecting tooth enamel and ensuring that teeth thrive in a living, rather than sterile, environment. Over a period of time, if your diet lacks vitamins

and minerals from a poor diet and/or contains high levels of phytates (from grains, seeds, nuts, and legumes), the blood chemistry and the ratio of calcium and phosphorous become out of balance. This results in minerals being pulled from bones, causing tooth and bone loss. So, the long-standing belief that sugar causes tooth decay is true, but because it depletes nutrients from the body—not because bacteria eat it and produce acid that ruins teeth. Tooth decay isn’t just a factor of bacterial overgrowth in the mouth, it turns out. Contrary to what most people think, trying to keep one’s mouth sterile isn’t going to keep dental cavities from forming. Rather, it is the missing vitamins in our diet that is the primary cause of tooth cavities. Thus, although there does indeed appear to be a convincing relationship between tooth cleansing (toothbrushing frequency) and tooth cleanliness, diet may play the ultimate role in determining the rate, if any, of tooth decay. The real culprit in widespread tooth decay is a deficiency in important nutrients like vitamin C, which has been directly linked to excess plaque debris in the mouth. Poor digestion of calcium and phosphorus is another critical factor in the formation of plaque, as these nutrients work in tandem with vitamin C as a type of nonmechanical brushing system to keep the mouth clean and cavity-free.

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5783