AUGUST 2022 // AV 5782 // ISSUE 79
THE HEALTH MAGAZINE FOR THE JEWISH FAMILY
Break Down the Barriers The joy of Tu B'Av was the joy of true unity
Add, Don't Subtract Shira Savit's refreshing approach to getting rid of bad habits
It ’s a
C u li n a r y Carnival!
Fixing Hormonal Dysregulation at the Root Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE
Lots of wholesome ingredients. Three contestants.
Inner Parenting Why is my child bullying everyone in the playground?
One Winner.
Get in on the fun!
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7 Top Hydrating Foods
Comfort Treats Serve this Chilled Mango Mocktail at your Shabbos Nachamu table
DIY Natural Tick Repellent
First eczema, then stomach cramps. What next? How healing my marriage healed my child
Change Your Diet to Avoid Surgery Laura Shammah on gallbladder health
Kitchen Duty at the Lab Wellspring readers test the benefits of juicing
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SPRINGBOARD
SAVE THE DATE!
AUGUST 22 TOWN HALL
nd
There’s a serious crisis at Maimonides Medical Center. Our elected officials asked Maimonides CEO Ken Gibbs to join a public meeting to discuss the financial mismanagement and terrible patient care at the hospital. We agree. That’s why we’re hosting a town hall for Ken Gibbs. Will he show up? Or hide?
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WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2022
We'll be there on August 22nd. Ken Gibbs will you be there? Brooklyn deserves better. YOU deserve better. It’s time to fix Maimonides. patients deserve better!
Share your story:
718.234.1905 WWW.SaveMMC.org
info@SaveMMC.org
All information will be held strictly confidential
WELLBEING FEATURE
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COPY & RESEARCH
Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC
.
Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson
$99.00
Proofreaders Faige Badian • Meira Lawrence
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FOOD CONTENT Food Editor Esther Frenkel Recipes Yossi & Malky Levine Charnie Kohn Elky Friedman Styling & Photography Malky Levine Charnie Kohn Pessi Piller ART & PRODUCTION Cover Design Aryeh Epstein Designer Rivky Schwartz Digital Media Rivkah Shanowitz ADVERTISING Executive Account Manager Goldy Kolman 718-412-3309 Ext.2 ads@wellspringmagazine.com SUBSCRIPTION 718-437-0761 subscribe@wellspringmagazine.com DISTRIBUTION Weekly Publications INC. 347-782-5588
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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.
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EDITOR'S NOTE
What Am I Waking Up For?
O
ne morning several weeks ago found me sitting on the swing on our porch—one of my favorite spots in the world— watching the sun rise over the Yerushalayim skyline. While the world around me slumbered, I took in the magnificent view before my eyes: the twinkling lights in the distance, the white-stoned buildings, the sky a pudding of pink and yellow. Ah! What a scene to wake up to, what a blessed way to jumpstart the day. Inspired by a relative who’s a passionate member of the 5 AM Club (based on a book by the same name), I decided to give this ritual a try. “Try it once,” she encouraged, her voice exuding enthusiasm, “and you won’t snooze your alarm clock ever again.” What can I tell you? There was something special about the experience of welcoming the day as opposed to falling into it. By the time I was serving the kids breakfast—and joining them at the table, I’d done a workout, davened Shacharis, written an article, and spent some time alone in thought, as well. After I walked the kids to school and did my morning grocery run, I was ready for a well-deserved nap. It was an experience of “a’irah shachar” (Tehillim 57:9), of awakening the dawn as opposed to the other way around. Sure, it was an invigorating experience. But did my relative’s prediction materialize the next morning? Hmmm…
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Having finished the baby’s midnight feeding session only twenty minutes before, I wasn’t ready to call it morning just yet.
A
las, I haven’t managed to keep up the virtuous ritual for now, but even as I write this, I think fondly of that dawn experience on my porch. The world around me enveloped in a cozy blanket of sleep, watching the lone men huddled in their talleisim, hurrying to their vasikin minyan, filled me with a sense of awe and appreciation. It brought to mind this issue’s feature, in which Bina Gottdiener explores nine common denominators researchers found in what they called the “Blue Zones,” five areas in the world that boasted the highest percentage of centenarians. Not surprisingly, Bina notes, most of the research-proven secrets for longevity are values encouraged by the Torah and practically installed into a frum lifestyle. One of the secrets, the researchers found, was living with a sense of purpose. “The term for purpose in Okinawan is ‘ikigai,’” writes Bina, “and in Italian it is ‘plan de vida.’ Both are roughly translated as ‘why I wake up in the morning.’” Living with a sense of purpose, which we Yidden are blessed to have built into the framework of daily life, not only impacts our level of fulfillment and joy, but also our longevity. As this issue’s fascinating Medical Saga also explores, our emotional
and physical wellbeing are highly enmeshed. When we feel good emotionally, we feel good physically.
T
here’s another element of that momentous early morning I miss, as well. Oddly, knowing that when I read this magazine in print, I’ll be miles away from our home in Yerushalayim evokes a sense of longing. We’re looking forward to spending the summer with extended family in the States—being in their company brings us such joy—but the heart always longs for Eretz Yisrael. It’s the yearning we all experience to finally be fully at “home” in the Holy City, surrounded by family and friends and all of Klal Yisrael. As long as we’re in galus, we’re deprived of that completeness. Even on Shabbos Nachamu and throughout the shivah denechemta, when the haftaros inject us with a sense of comfort, we still crave the ultimate consolation. We long to be embraced by Hakadosh Baruch Hu, to rejoice with unadulterated pleasure in the place where we will all feel whole, the Beis Hamikdash Habenuyah. It is there that we will feel the ultimate sense of purpose, the ultimate sense of simchah. May it be speedily in our days,
n a m d e i r F Shiffy WELL- PUT “It is impossible to hate ourselves into change; we can only love ourselves into change.”
—Shira Savit, Emotional Eating WELLSPRING / AV 5782
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WELLBEING FEATURE
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CONTENTS
AUGUST 2022 AV 5782 ISSUE 79 Our next issue will appear on Wednesday, September 7 th iy"H.
WELL INFORMED 20
Springboard
30
Spiritual Eating
32
Torah Wellspring
36
Health Updates
LIVING WELL
56
TO A LONG LIFE Feature
42
FYI
46
Community
48
OT@Home
50
Fitness
53
Ask
90 The Functional Dietitian 93
DIY
By Bina Gottdiener, CHC, CN What are the secrets to longevity? We’ve heard this advice from that one, and this opinion from the other, but what if science and research in the 21st century concretized this concept with a fascinating experiment? Enter the Blue Zones study.
WELLBEING 96
Emotional Eating
98
Inner Parenting
FAREWELL 139 Random
103 SEASONED 18
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Cup of Tea will return next month iy"H.
84 HEART ACHE Medical Saga As told to Shiffy Friedman On our drive home, I called Shmuel to fill him in on what the kinesiologist had told us. He picked up and said, “Anything important because I’m busy now?” And with that, I launched into a rant.
EXPERIMENT: JUICING Sample By Libby Silberman If you’re into all things healthy, you know what juicing is. However, if you’re like my pre-converted self, juicing is what you did as a kid before Pesach—everyone knows it’s the funnest job in the kitchen—juicing cases of oranges and lemons and grapefruits, with the old-fashioned citrus juicer making its groaning way around and around as it extracted precious drops of juice, always with too much pulp.
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BOOTH #1: BALL OF ENERGY Seasoned By Wellspring Contestants It’s hot out and we’re trying to keep active too. But then the slump hits, and we want something really delicious to keep us going. Whip up a recipe for a power-packed treat for quick and easy summer snacking that contains: Oats Cacao nibs Ready, set…go!
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SPRINGBOARD
On Storing Produce, Summer Safety, Spending Habits, and More
Summer Safety Issue #78: Medical Saga
As a mom and pediatrician, my heart was in my throat as I read “Out of the Water” in the July issue. Baruch Hashem, Chani received quick medical attention and recovered fully. As a pediatrician, I get calls from parents who are worried that their child will develop “dry drowning” (also referred to as “secondary” drowning) after a brief period of submersion. While it is possible for a child to develop a lung injury after even a brief period under water, it is extremely rare, as the article correctly notes. (The symptoms are also accurately described there.) 20
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More commonly, especially after a brief submersion without the child losing consciousness, the child recovers without any further problems. Meanwhile, there are many crucially important safety lessons to be learned from this story. Safe swimming requires that at least one adult who can swim is a “designated watcher” and is always within arm’s reach of the child. (More children would require more watchers.) “Puddle jumpers” are a type of flotation device that give parents a false sense of security. They are not a substitute for adult supervision, nor are they actual life jackets. They keep children upright in what is
called the “drowning position,” not in the horizontal position a child would use in actual swimming/ floating. Children who regularly use puddle jumpers/floaties may be at increased risk for drowning because they stay vertical in the water, instead of the life-saving horizontal floating position. While most people are aware of the need for adequate sunscreen to prevent sunburn, many are not aware of the risks of heat exhaustion and heatstroke. Babies and young children, as well as people over 65, are at higher risk for these conditions. Heat exhaustion happens when the body loses too much water and salt, usually from sweating. You may feel clammy, look
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Quick Question
SPRINGBOARD
Question: Any ideas for natural sunscreen?
Answer: Kudos to you for wanting to shield your skin and body from the sun’s harmful rays. For starters, wear a widebrimmed sunhat when in direct sunlight, such as at the pool. Wearing light-colored clothing also helps keep the sun away (as opposed to dark, which attracts the sun). Here’s a DIY sunscreen recipe to help you protect your skin without using harsh chemicals (published in issue #55). ¼ cup coconut oil (has some SPF, sun protection factor) 2 Tbsp powdered zinc ¼ cup aloe vera gel 25 drops walnut oil (for additional SPF and scent) Shea butter Mix all ingredients in a container and keep adding butter until desired consistency is achieved. Store in an airtight container. Take care, Miriam Schweid, health consultant and kinesiologist
pale, feel dizzy or faint, sweat, have a rapid heart rate, slight fever, and feel nauseous or vomit. It is important to recognize these signs and get to a shady or air-conditioned area, drink fluids (ideally with electrolytes, like a sports drink), and cool off with wet towels. Heat exhaustion can be prevented by limiting time in the heat, wearing light-colored cotton clothing, and staying well hydrated. Heat exhaustion, if untreated, can progress to heatstroke. The person’s skin will be red, hot, and dry, and their temperature can climb to 104 degrees or higher, associated with headache, nausea and vomiting, confusion or delirium, and even loss of consciousness. This is a medical 22
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emergency. Move the person to a shady area, apply cold compresses, and call 911 or Hatzolah immediately.
medical advice. Please contact your health care professional for any and all guidance.
Whether Chani had “secondary/ dry drowning” or heatstroke or both, she got rapid medical treatment and baruch Hashem recovered.
H. P.
We hope and pray that we can keep all of our children safe, and that this information is helpful. Alisa Minkin, MD, FAAP Jennie Berkovich, DO, FAAP Members, JOWMA Preventative Health Note: This letter does not constitute
Money Talks Issue #78: Cover Feature
Thank you so much for a wonderful magazine. I picked it up once and now I’m hooked as I found that it has brought me to become more present and self-aware. I especially enjoy the FYI column and Cup of Tea and I really appreciate the neat layout and
BHIS
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The Doctor Is In
SPRINGBOARD
Question: I am due with my first baby shortly and there are so many things to consider. The amount of information is overwhelming! One of the many choices we need to make as soon as the baby is born is giving a vitamin K shot in the hospital. I’m nervous to give my baby a shot so early in their life. Is it really necessary?
Answer: A new baby can be overwhelming, and parents want to be empowered with information to make the most educated and well-informed choices for their new precious addition. A routine procedure in the newborn nursey is administration of vitamin K. Vitamin K is unlike other vitamins since it is used by the body to help blood clot. Adults get vitamin K from food and bacteria that live in our intestines. Babies don’t have enough vitamin K because only small amounts pass through the placenta from their mothers. The good bacteria that produce vitamin K are not present in the newborn’s intestines, and vitamin K does not pass through breast milk. Without enough vitamin K, babies may have severe bleeding, even without any injury. This is called hemorrhagic disease of the newborn or vitamin K deficiency bleeding (VKDB). If the baby needs any minor procedure, including a bris, they may have prolonged bleeding. VKDB occurs when babies cannot stop bleeding because their blood does not have enough vitamin K to form a clot. The bleeding can occur on the inside or outside of the body. When the bleeding occurs inside the body, it can be difficult to notice. Commonly, a baby with VKDB will bleed into his or her intestines, or into the brain, which can lead to brain damage and even death. Infants who do not receive the vitamin K shot at birth can develop
VKDB at any time up to six months of age. The vitamin K shot acts in two ways to increase vitamin K levels: 1. Part of the vitamin K goes into the infant’s bloodstream immediately and increases the amount of vitamin K in the blood. This provides enough vitamin K so that the infant’s levels don’t drop dangerously low in the first few days of life. Much of this vitamin K gets stored in the liver and it is used by the clotting system. 2. The rest of the vitamin K is released slowly over the next 2–3 months, providing a steady source of vitamin K until the infant has another source from his or her diet. Without this shot, the risk of this bleeding disorder will range from 0.25–1.7 percent. The risk for developing late VKDB has been estimated at 81 times greater among infants who do not receive vitamin K than among infants who do receive it. The risks of vitamin K administration are very low. It is not a vaccine, but pain or discomfort at the injection site may occur. Unfortunately, oral vitamin K is much less effective at preventing the bleeding disorder than an injection and is not recommended Giving vitamin K is one of the safest decisions you can make for your new baby. Jennifer Berkovich, DO, FAAP Member, JOWMA Preventative Health Committee
design on each page. I found the feature on spending habits to be really interesting and relevant as I’m quite on the frugal side and my husband is the total opposite. I very much related to one of the respondents in the survey, who wrote that she wouldn’t buy a chocolate bar but then her husband 24
WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2022
would buy an entire lunch. I had a good laugh when I read that! Hopefully, I will get to the place she’s in now, thanks to the insightful tips (especially bitachon) from the article. Thanks again! Name withheld upon request
Into the Fridge They Go Issue #78: Sample
Words cannot express how much I enjoy Wellspring, especially considering that I am not into health at all. It is actually the only Englishlanguage publication that we bring
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Question:
My child isn’t drinking enough water. Even when it's so hot, he still doesn't take a minute to rehydrate. What can I do?
Answer: Make water fun! You can get some cool ice-cube molds and freeze up some fun. Or you can do what my colleague Megan calls “fancy water.” Just add some fruit and herbs! Mint and basil are common herbs that work well for adding flavor to water. Watermelon, berries, and citrus are fruity additions. Mix it up and see what you like best: mint and watermelon, strawberry and basil, or lemon and lime! Daily water needs according to the American Academy of Pediatrics: 1–3 years: 32 oz 4–8 years: 40 oz 9–13 years: 56–64 oz While these numbers are appropriate guide markers, I prefer to look for signs of dehydration, starting with urine color (ideal is pale yellow to clear). You can also look for dry skin and lips, fewer wet diapers or trips to the bathroom, or less tears when they cry. Fancy water can help make water delicious.
Pediatric Nutrition
SPRINGBOARD
into our home. Since I had the opportunity to review it once, I’ve been buying it and reading every single page every single month. In regards to Libby’s Sample on prolonging the freshness of produce, I’d like to let readers know that if bananas are put into the fridge as soon as they start turning brown, the peels will become even more brown but the flesh of the fruit will remain yellow, unblemished, and delicious. Thanks so much and keep up the good work, Mrs. T.
A Suggestion Box That Works! Issue #78: Sample
First, thanks so much for an incredible magazine that doesn’t disappoint month after month after month. I’m very excited to take the results of this month’s experiment at the Lab into account when storing my produce. As a reader who suggested this topic, I appreciate that my message catapulted into this full-blown experiment that will finally enable me to make great use of all my produce in the best way possible. It’s great to see that you’re operating a suggestion box that actually works! Many thanks, Esti H. Jackson, New Jersey
Yaffi Lvova, RDN
Yaffi Lvova, RDN, is a dietitian and food enjoyment activist who encourages positive nutrition through writing, speaking, and Nap Time Nutrition, her video blog and podcast. Find out more at babybloomnutrition.com.
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Our Hairdresser’s Recommendations Issue #78: Community
On the topic of managing greasy hair, here are
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SPRINGBOARD
First, wash hair with liquid dishwashing detergent. This eliminates all the grease. Then wash with shampoo. Do not use conditioner. (I can clearly tell the difference in my daughter’s hair after she uses dishwashing soap.) The second tip is to avoid washing hair daily.
believe we are. We tend to look at money as a technical means through which we procure what we need to live (or more!), and it takes a lot of self-awareness to notice how much of our generosity, stinginess, and in between are a direct result of our past and emotional world. Thank you for a highly informative and thought-provoking article on the topic. I enjoyed taking the survey and seeing where I stand in terms of my spending habits.
Good luck! R. Sabel
With much appreciation, J. F. Toms River, New Jersey
Not So Technical After All Issue #78: Cover Feature
Money Talks Issue #78: Cover Feature
My husband works as a stockbroker and often relates how so much of the success in the market involves learning how to separate emotion from logic because we’re way more emotional beings than we tend to
What a fascinating feature you published on spending habits. As always, I so appreciate how wellbeing articles highlight such everyday matters in a way that invites
contemplation and self-exploration. Who knew our decisions to spend or save are so rooted in emotional underpinnings? I read (more like gobbled up!) the article right after I’d read the Inner Parenting article from the month before, so I was still pondering over that piece and couldn’t help but notice how connected all these topics are. When we tell a child they can’t have a certain toy or game, what appears to be such a logical decision is also so rooted in our emotional world. It’s interesting to notice the pattern: Often, those who were denied their wishes as children will attempt to spare their kids that pain by (over) giving, and those who wished to have more boundaries will take that direction with their children. Simply noticing the patterns is eye-opening on its own. We need so much siyata diShmaya and clarity in our parenting. Thanks for giving us so much food for thought.
Get in touch! Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.
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Tzivia B. Monsey, New York
Any health information, advice, or suggestions published here are the opinion of the letter writer and are not independently investigated, endorsed, or validated by Wellspring. Always seek the advice of a qualified health professional or medical practitioner regarding any medical advice, condition, or treatment.
two tried-and-true tips from my daughters’ hairdresser. They work wonders!
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SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS
The Real You Who is it? Parashas Re’eh opens with a blessing and a curse: “See! I place before you today, a blessing and a curse.
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The blessing that you will listen to the commandments of Hashem, your G-d, which I command you today. And the curse; if you will not listen to the commandments of Hashem, your G-d, and you turn away from the path which I command you today, to go after other gods that you did not know” (Devarim 11:26–28). What does the Torah mean by “gods that you did not know”? How can someone follow something they don’t know? In order to fall for something, don’t we first have to know what it is that we’re following? The answer gives us a wonderful insight into how Hakadosh Baruch Hu looks at us, and subsequently, how we should look at ourselves and each other.
there’s always a but, we also have the ability to make the wrong choice. And the more wrong choices we make— the more we cloud our ability to make the correct choice—the more we end up surrounding ourselves with the results of our negative actions. That, however, never changes our intrinsic nature. It merely puts up barriers between who we are now and who we want to become. We all want to be great. No one wakes up in the morning and says to himself, “You know, I plan on just being mediocre today.” We all want to live healthy, productive lives, grow to spiritual heights, and enjoy the true pleasures Hashem gives us in this world.
The Torah tells us that every human being is created in the image of Hashem. We are all inherently pure and good. “My G-d, the soul you placed within me is pure,” we say in Birchos Hashachar.
But what happens all too often? We end up following other gods we do not know. We wind up chasing after temporary happiness and wanton desires that seem great in that instant but leave us lacking, frustrated, and far from our stated goal.
Our true, inner self always wants to do the right thing because that reflects who we really are. But, and
Even though it appears like a good idea at the time, our intrinsic self doesn’t relate to evil, negativity, or
ונשמרתם מאוד לנפשותיכם , וועסט–נייל וויירוס,היט זיך פון ליים דיזיעז רעאקציע צו ביסן ַ און ַאלערגישע
!ַא געזונטן זומער
NE W!
self-destructive behavior. These concepts are foreign to who we really are. Of course, we are held accountable for our actions, but that is not a reflection of our fundamental nature. Often, the positive choice is more difficult to make, less inviting, and requires a whole lot more discipline to fulfill. The destructive option is but a momentary pleasure away. Why did Hashem make it that way? Because if were the other way around, there would be no real reward for taking the productive stand, for making the right decision. The more we are in our choices and actions—irrespective of how hard it might be—the more we reach our intrinsic potential. The more harmful choices we make, the more alien our lives become to who we really are. The degree of difficulty doesn’t determine the validity of a choice. Make the right choice: invest your energy in yourself, and connect to the real you. And for Shabbos Nachamu and beyond, there’s no more comforting place to be.
Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood. He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-578-8800, email info@soveya.com, or visit www. soveya.com.
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TORAH WELLSPRING By Rabbi Ezra Friedman
Many Stripes, One Goal What was the great joy of Tu B’Av?
We’re currently in the period of shivah denechemta, a time when although we’re still in galus, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is sending us messages of comfort and love, as we read in the haftaros during these seven weeks. 32
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It’s a period in the spirit of strengthened connection to Hashem, of Him extending Himself toward us even while we still haven’t merited the geulah. This is also the time when Klal Yisrael celebrated what the Mishnah refers to as a Yom Tov. Not just any Yom Tov, for “there were no greater Yamim Tovim by the Yidden than the fifteenth of Av and Yom Kippur” (Taanis 4:8). What was so remarkable about what transpired on Tu B’Av in the times of the Beis Hamikdash that it warranted this description? Among the list of joyous events that occurred on this day, the daughters of Yerushalayim went
out in the vineyards in white clothes with the intent of finding their zivug. What was the great joy in that? For starters, Klal Yisrael experienced the simchah of celebrating shidduch after shidduch. That’s reason enough to rejoice, but of course, there was more. In explaining the matchmaking process that took place on this celebratory day, the Gemara (Taanis 31a) remarks that first, all young women borrowed the white garments that they wore for this occasion. “The daughter of the king borrows from the daughter of the Kohen Gadol…” Those from wealthy and prominent homes borrowed from those who had less, and vice versa. This practice was to ensure that no eligible woman would feel uncomfortable about her own lack as everyone was engaging in the same borrowing-lending process. As a result, a young woman’s appearance was in no way an indication of her and her family’s financial or social status. “Bachur,” the women announced, “sa einayich ure’eh mah atah borer lach—lift your eyes and see [beyond the veneer] what you’re choosing for yourself” (ibid.). Seek out what’s truly important in marriage. This was a call to each suitor to take note of their potential wife’s inner qualities—her piety, her character—that which matters most. If a young man sought a respectable lineage, the girl would advise him to rather seek out a candidate with yiras Shamayim. If physical beauty was a priority for him, she’d remind him that “sheker hachein vehevel hayofi.” Removing the Layers The essence of the day, which of-
fers an understanding regarding the source of its unique joy, was the dismissal of external trappings to allow for true connection. Gone was the focus on external trappings, on petty details, and in its place came the opportunity to truly see the other individual. Imagine what joy this facilitated! There was no more fussing about types and backgrounds and all those other attributes that matter little in light of the bigger picture. There was just a chosson and kallah who looked beyond the outer veneer and sought each other for the qualities that truly make a difference. The veneer that prevents us from seeing another individual for who they truly are becomes exponentially thicker and more prominent in heterogenous communities, such as the ones we’re blessed to live in today. While living and being acquainted with Yidden of different stripes has its untold benefits, it often engenders an unwritten hierarchy system. Unlike the days in the shtetl when the inhabitants tended to be more similar in terms of religion and lifestyle, when Yidden from an array of different origins, statuses, and hashkafic leanings make up one community, the unwritten dividing lines between the sectors become more prominent. This one’s levush is not like ours, the next one has different minhagim, the other one’s nusach or havarah is different. And what does that leave us with? If the focus is the external trappings, we’re left with a very divided society. The result is not only a more restricted selection pool in shidduchim, but also and most importantly, on the level of achdus among us Yidden as a whole. Of course, this is not to demean the significance of mesorah, of uphold-
ing the traditions that are unique to our particular heritage. However, at times we may forget what lies at the crux of our differences, the reason for these seeming disparities among us: a desire to come closer to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. When the founders of various movements in Yiddishkeit, whether mussar, Chassidus, and their subtypes, set forth a particular mode of thought or dress or conduct, their one and only goal was a better, richer, and more connected avodas Hashem. A singular goal, but with many different faces. As Yidden living in a “mixed” world of prototypes, it’s our duty to be mindful of that. It’s when we lose sight of this reality that we’re at risk of not only constructing dividing lines but also of missing the point behind the apparent differences. When the veneer takes up too much prominence, the ikar gets sidelined. All Sacred As descendants from Avraham Avinu, the first to set out on a path of serving Hakadosh Baruch Hu, all of us Yidden can trace back our origin to the same patriarch. Over the centuries, however, klal Yisrael continuously branched out, taking on particular customs and approaches based on their unique demographics and other circumstances. All of these minhagim are sacred, no doubt, but we can’t lose sight of their underlying purpose, of the one goal that brings all of us Yidden together. When we approach our own traditions from this perspective, and we hold them sacred because we’re mindful of their purpose, we automatically see beyond another Yid’s external differences, as well. We recognize that what my levush,
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TORAH WELLSPRING
"He is the one we served, whether with a frock or a shtreimel or no particular levush at all."
for example, does for me, his does for him. And, as a result, the disparity in levush not only starts to matter little in terms of enabling us to feel connected, but it actually makes us feel more united by our singular mission. We may belong to a different sect or abide by the rulings of a different Rav or Rebbe, but we’re both on the way to serve our King; we’re just entering His palace through a different corridor. We love each other because we’re on the same path, with the same goal. We’re brothers, serving the same Father. If this reality is clear to us, we’ll feel this sense of brotherhood even if both of us actually follow customs that are in direct opposition one from the other. For example, to me, davening before sof zeman tefillah might be sacrosanct, but to him connecting to Hashem comes in the form of extending his preparation for tefillah 34
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and davka davening after that zeman. As long as I recognize that the purpose behind these distinct choices is one and the same, these differences don’t take up space in determining the connection we feel toward one another. But, if the perspective is warped and the outer trappings of avodas Hashem—as opposed to their underlying goal—become the ikar, that’s when the pirud among Yidden occurs. Ironically, what was meant to bring us closer to Hashem, and by default, our fellow Yid, becomes about types and categories and segments. To lose sight of the unifying goal behind these differences is to lose sight of the purpose of our existence in this world. In fact, the sefarim tell us that my most powerful indicator of whether my conduct or approach brings me closer to Hakadosh Baruch Hu is if
it brings me closer to His children. In other words, ahavas Hashem and ahavas Yisrael are essentially one and the same. How can something that’s meant to bring me closer to Hashem distance me from another Yid? And so, if I find that something that I’m doing or an approach I’m pursuing under the guise of Yiddishkeit makes me feel superior to or separate from another Yid, I know that there’s an element of my endeavor that requires repair. It’s certainly not bringing me closer to Hashem. Break the Barriers This brings us to understand the sheer simchah that Klal Yisrael experienced on Tu B’Av. It wasn’t only the shidduchim that happened on that day; it was the breakthrough behind them that all of klal Yisrael experienced. It was the ohr that re-
particular traditions and the specific derech in which we serve Hashem. At the same time, however, it would be wise for us to recognize how so much of our separateness may just be additional barriers that unnecessarily distance us from one another and make us feel disconnected.
vealed itself when every Yid realized what lies behind all of our external differences. The achdus that emerges from that realization, the love one Yid felt for another. If we want to only illustrate what it looked like in those days, imagine if one day the Rav in every single shul across the globe would make an announcement that all barriers between Yidden be removed. Let Yidden from every stripe—chassidish, litvish, Sefardic, and beyond—start greeting each other, davening together, learning together, and even being meshadeich with each other. How much achdus we’d experience, how much joy we’d feel. We’re using this is only a mashal—and not as an ideal reality—to understand the joy that the Yidden felt on that day, as there is certainly great merit in upholding
If there’s one area where societal disparity makes an indelible impact, it’s shidduchim. When one individual feels superior to another because they’ve lost sight of the purpose behind the seeming differences, or the focus becomes the externals as opposed to what matters most, many highly eligible candidates are insensibly nixed. On Tu B’Av, thanks to the clarity that the Yidden experienced, the young women rejoiced because they were finally seen for who they truly were, for their pure neshamah, their valuable essence. They alerted the young men to seek out yiras Shamayim and other virtuous qualities, but then they added a caveat, “Ubilvad shetatrunu bezehuvim— But crown me with gold.” It’s not enough, they conveyed, that you’re choosing to look beyond my exterior because you realize that the barriers between us were only a means toward the same goal. I want you to treat me well too; not as a chessed case because you’re trying to be nice to every Yid. When we truly see another Yid’s essence—that it’s the same as ours, just with its unique tafkid, all levels of hierarchy fall away. It’s not that I’m the great, holy person who is kind to every Yid, and therefore I’ll open my home to you and give you what you need. No, that’s what the young women warned against. True achdus is about feeling on the same level as every Yid, genuinely appreciating their value. It’s not about taking on chessed projects; it’s about feeling equal. That’s the achdus Klal Yisrael experienced on Tu B’Av. What beauty! What a day that was!
The Yom Tov of Tu B’Av reminds us to exercise our ability to see beyond the other’s outer trappings in order to connect to the place that is very much alike: the place where we are both ovdei Hashem, with a desire to do what brings us closer to Him. If, in my eyes, another person’s external presentation defines him, I’ll have a hard time seeing his true essence. But if I’m connected to the purpose behind my own external presentation, and I’m mindful of the goal beneath it all, I can come to truly respect and cherish every Yid, doing my part to bring more achdus among Klal Yisrael. The Circle The tractate in the Gemara about Tu B’Av concludes with a statement that offers a beautiful closing thought on the topic of achdus: “Asid Hakadosh Baruch Hu la’asos machol latzadikim veHu yosheiv beineihem beGan Eden—In the future, Hakadosh Baruch Hu will arrange a dance of the righteous, and He will be sitting among them in Gan Eden” (Taanis 31:1). The unique property of a circle is that it has no levels or coveted spots—no corners, centers, or ends, and no head tables or bottom rows. And there’s more: all points on a circle are equidistant to its center. What a powerful implication! In Gan Eden, where the outer trappings of this world are no longer relevant, every Yid who served Hashem with sincerity will hold hands with another Yid who served Hashem on his own path. And together, they will all point toward Hashem and say, “He is the Hashem to whom we hoped.” He is the one we served, whether with a frock or a shtreimel or no particular levush at all. He was the purpose behind our unique customs, our particular traditions. Gone will be the labels and subtypes. In its place will be true achdus, and thus true simchah.
Rabbi Ezra Friedman welcomes questions and comments on this column. Please write to rabbiefriedman@wellspringmagazine.com.
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UPDATES By Esther Retek
Can You Open This, Please? Handgrip strength is more revealing than we think How strong is your handgrip? Are you the one who gets passed up the tightly sealed grape juice bottles, or do you send them forward without even trying? Interestingly, a new study now shows that handgrip strength is not just an indicator for muscle strength but may be revealing of other health factors, too. In fact, handgrip strength can be a near-accurate screening tool for various health issues. Numerous studies suggest that low-strength handgrip may be an indication of underlying health problems, including heart and lung conditions—and not only in older individuals. But what previous studies failed to do was provide a definitive threshold that would indicate a problem. Published in BMJ Open, researchers from the University of Vienna worked to assess at what level of handgrip strength a doctor should consider sending a patient for further examination. The results of the study provide standardized thresholds that directly link handgrip strength to remaining life expectancy, thus enabling practitioners to detect patients with an increased mortality risk early on. “In general, handgrip strength depends on gender, age, and the height of a person. Our task was to find the threshold related to handgrip strength that would signal a practitioner to do further examinations if a patient’s handgrip strength is below this threshold. It is similar to measuring blood pressure. When the level of blood pressure is out36
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side of a particular range, the doctor can either decide to prescribe a particular medicine or to send the patient to a specialist for further examination,” explains Sergei Scherbov, one of the researchers. In the study, patients’ handgrip strength was measured by their squeezing a dynamometer with one hand, a general test for handgrip strength. The results indicated that even a handgrip strength that is only slightly below the average of a comparable population is indicative of health conditions. “Handgrip strength is a cheap and easy-to-perform test, but it may help with early diagnosis of health problems and other underlying health conditions. Monitoring the handgrip strength of the elderly (and middle-aged people) may provide great benefits for the public health of aging populations. Our findings make it clear that handgrip strength is a very precise and sensitive measure of underlying health conditions. Therefore, we suggest it to be used as a screening tool in medical practice,” notes researcher Nadia Steiber. Is the reverse true too? Can you work on your handgrip strength to improve your overall health? Researchers agree that although handgrip strength can be an indicator, it is not necessarily the key to good health. Now pass that closed jar to me.
An Open Letter on Behalf of the Board of Trustees of Maimonides Medical Center For 111 years, Maimonides Medical Center has been a pillar of our Brooklyn communities and a pioneer in the advancement of medicine. As the Board of Trustees charged with carrying on this legacy and overseeing the fulfillment of its mission, we wish to respond to the recent publicity campaign that has been launched against the hospital and appeal to its organizers for a constructive proposal. Our Board is made up of 32 individual Trustees representing many different communities and backgrounds. We volunteer our time and energy because we are incredibly proud of Maimonides and the work done every day by its staff. Many of us are Maimonides patients ourselves, as are our parents, children, and spouses. Year after year, Maimonides is recognized by objective thirdparty organizations for achieving clinical outcomes that are among the best in the country. The data tells us clearly that we serve a population that is more at risk than average and provide medical care that is far better than average. We are not perfect. We continually seek to listen and learn from our patients, employees and communities. We strive to get better every day. We know the high level of medical care we provide is not always matched by the patient experience. Our medical technology is new but many of our facilities are old. That is why we built the new Doctors Pavilion, why we are modernizing and doubling the size of our emergency room, why we are building Brooklyn’s only freestanding Emergency Room for children. These new facilities cost hundreds of millions of dollars and will benefit our communities for generations. The pandemic has created enormous challenges for our society. Hospitals, in particular, have been exceptionally challenged. Maimonides is hardly alone in coping with nationwide staffing shortages, employee burnout, skyrocketing supply costs, and volatile demand for its services. Moreover, Maimonides, like other hospitals that serve large Medicaid populations, has historically been disadvantaged by a deeply inequitable funding system. Medicaid has paid hospitals just 61 cents for every dollar of care provided. Put simply, we were paid far less for providing the same services than hospitals serving more affluent communities. The clinical outcomes we achieve are all the more remarkable in this context. New York State leadership recognizes this and has now included Maimonides among a select group of hospitals that are eligible for enhanced Medicaid reimbursement which will help mitigate this historical deficiency. Early in the pandemic the Board made a decision that has guided it ever since: do what it takes and commit the necessary resources to meet the needs of our communities during this crisis. Like many hospitals, we spent more than we earned
in this period, drawing on our balance sheet to absorb losses rather than cutting back services. As the pandemic waxed and waned, one of the ways we sought to mitigate this funding gap was through philanthropic support from individuals who expressed an interest in strengthening the organization. We were grateful for the generous support we received from many new donors. We were surprised, however, when one prospective donor proposed to take control of our board as a condition of philanthropic support. We respectfully declined this proposal, which we believed was inconsistent with our fiduciary duties and our mission, and not in the best interests of the organization or the diverse communities we serve. Apparently dissatisfied with this outcome, this individual, in collaboration with others, has now unleashed a destructive and deceptive campaign that discourages people from using the hospital, makes several false charges and claims, calls for a reduction in hospital funding, attempts to demoralize our workforce, and seeks to undermine the unions that represent most of our employees. To those financing and organizing this campaign, we have a simple message: this is not the way to achieve anything constructive. Whatever the campaign’s intent, its practical effect is to harm the hospital, those who use the hospital, and those who work there. The longer this goes on, the greater the damage will be. The last thing our communities or our workforce can afford right now is a manufactured crisis that threatens to weaken an institution that hundreds of thousands of Brooklynites rely on to access critical services. If you have a sincere interest in improving the hospital’s services, we call on you to come forward with a concrete proposal. We stand ready - as we always have - to engage with all people of good faith who wish to work together in furtherance of improving healthcare for our communities. For our part, we will continue to focus on doing everything possible to preserve and protect the delivery of world-class care for those we serve. Eugene Keilin, Chair Peter Rebenwurzel, Vice-Chair Erminia Rivera, Vice-Chair Alex Rovt, PhD, Vice-Chair Paul T. Addison, Treasurer Frank A. Naccarato, Secretary Donna Astion, MD Richard A. Barasch Joseph Bruno Rev. Msgr. David Cassato Jeffrey Fenster Chaim Fischer Monica Ghitan, MD Kenneth D. Gibbs Jeremy Glick
Jack A. Hidary Lofton Holder Mortimer N. Klaus George Liu, MD Robert Machinist Donald Meltzer Azzam Obeid Martin Payson Trevor Price Mary Singh David Spira Aaron D. Twerski Marty Waisbrod George Weinberger Michael L. Ziegler, Esq. WELLSPRING / AV 5782 37
UPDATES
Of School and Sleep How you can help your child succeed this year You’re probably still basking in the sunshine and enjoying the summer perks as you read this article, but before you know it, it’ll be back-to-school time. (What did I do all summer long?) And if you have a child starting school for the first time or entering a significant grade, you may have been thinking about school all summer long. Is there anything you can do to ease your child’s transition? A new study, published in Pediatrics, seems to suggest that yes, there’s something important you can do to help your child. The team of researchers, led by Doug Teti, distinguished professor of human development and family studies, professor of psychology and pediatrics, and head of the Department of Human Development and Family Studies, found that instituting a solid bedtime routine before the new school year begins is key to easing the adjustment. The study focused primarily on children starting kindergarten. In addition to an easier adjustment to the new school year, children who sleep at least 10 hours during the night on a regular basis demonstrated more success in emotional development, learning engagement, and academic performance across the year. The researchers used a movement-tracking watch to record the sleep habits of 220 children for four one-weeklong periods across the course of their kindergarten year, starting in July–August before the academic year began. They then measured sleep habits of those children again in September, November, and April. Alongside these tracking periods, teachers and staff evaluated the students’ adjust38
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ments to kindergarten. “We found that children who had 10 or more hours of sleep per night on a regular basis, particularly before the kindergarten year began, tended to maintain that more optimal sleep pattern across their full kindergarten year,” says Teti. “This has significant implications for anyone interested in promoting healthier sleep patterns in children making the transition to first-time schooling; parents should do what they can to help their children regularly get most—if not all—of their sleep during night hours before the school year even begins.” Researchers also looked at when the children were getting these 10 hours of sleep and pointed out that those hours should be at night, and as regularly as possible. The study suggested that “making up” for less sleep at night by taking naps during the day does not have great value in helping children make the adjustment to school. For families anticipating their child starting kindergarten, Teti suggests setting routines and expectations for healthy sleep hygiene before school starts. What is a healthy bedtime routine? The authors strongly advise to avoid screen time before heading to bed. They also urge parents to be involved and present during children’s bedtimes, implementing a consistent calming bedtime routine that helps prepare children for sleep. That routine could include bath time, reading a book, talking in a quiet environment, singing a song, reciting Krias Shema with them, and of course, lots of cuddles and kisses.
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Tip
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Well Spent
Budgeting on Vacation Whether your family’s summer vacation has just begun, you’re planning an end-of-the-summer tour, or heading up to visit the kids at camp, summer trips are not easy on the wallet. But that doesn’t mean budgeting on vacation is an oxymoron. Here are some easy budgeting tips for you to try, and while they won’t make your trip cost-free, they can save you a pretty penny.
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Road Snacks
Stock the Box
Avoid the Car
Try to pack along whatever food and drink you will possibly need for the way. (Double the amount you think you’ll need!) Water bottles, ices, nuts, snacks, and chocolate bars are overpriced at gas stations and other small shops, so having them available in the car will save you a dime—and some extra stops.
Wondering how you can bring along ices to avoid the overpriced selection at the gas station? Get an icebox of course! That way you can store water, ice creams, and lunch for the whole family. With cold, fresh food available you can skip eating out for lunch at restaurants and avoid those pricey cold water bottles. Plus, picnics are such fun!
If you’re traveling locally, leave time in your schedule between activities so you can walk to places instead of driving (avoiding traffic is great for your wellbeing, too!). If you’re touring a different city, find out their mode of transportation and public transit schedules. As an added bonus, there’s no better way to get to know a city than walking through the streets or using the local mode of transportation.
Get Acquainted
Large on the Lunch
Many of the most scenic and enjoyable tourist sites are actually free. Before heading out to your destination, get acquainted with the place and find out about state parks and other free attractions in the area.
Lunch food is so much simpler and cheaper than dinner. Have your family fill up on fresh food, nuts, sandwiches, etc., and leave the dinners for quick, smaller meals. Another great tip is to take along containers so you can store leftover food for that inevitable, “Ma, I’m hungry!” a half hour after lunch.
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ALTERNATIVE VIEW
BY FAIGY SCHONFELD
ACNE NO ONE LIKES ACNE. WHILE NOT LIFE-THREATENING, IT’S ALTOGETHER UNPLEASANT AND, IN SEVERE CASES, IT CAN CAUSE MUCH PAIN AND EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. BUT THE REALITY IS THAT IT AFFECTS MOST PEOPLE AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIVES—UP TO 80 PERCENT OF THE POPULATION BETWEEN THE AGES OF 11 AND 30. OFTEN, PEOPLE DEALING WITH ACNE RESORT TO MEDICATION OR WEARING HEAVY MAKEUP, BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT THERE ARE LOTS OF NATURAL TREATMENTS THAT CAN BE REALLY EFFECTIVE AS WELL.
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WHAT IS IT? Acne occurs when the skin becomes inflamed. The skin is full of oil glands that secrete sebum, which keeps it hydrated and healthy. But when the glands produce too much oil, the pores become blocked, and pimples and blackheads make an appearance. The pores then fill with bacteria, causing redness and inflammation too. A total picnic.
WHAT CAUSES IT? Hormones are a popular culprit. Some say acne is linked to nutritional deficiencies, food allergies and intolerances, or fungal infections. Blood sugar imbalances or insulin resistance also create an inflammatory cycle that can lead to acne. In general, inflammation of any kind can be detrimental to the skin. Air pollution or exposure to secondhand smoke are also offenders, as well as an imbalanced pH level. And, of course, this list would not be complete without implicating white sugar, chemical additives, and unhealthy fats. And stress.
STANDARD TREATMENT Depending on the severity of the acne, people go from covering pimples with makeup (which can make things worse) to topical treatments to skin procedures, such as micro-needling and chemical peels. None of these are too healthy or too much fun, so it’s well worth it to try some natural remedies first.
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