NOVEMBER 2021 // KISLEV 5782 // ISSUE 70
THE HEALTH MAGAZINE FOR THE JEWISH FAMILY
Emerging from My Darkness
Sinuses Acting Up Again? Everything you need to know about sinusitis and its treatment
6 women speak of their struggle— and victory—with depression
Is It Really ADHD?
Exclusive contribution by
Zahava List of Chazkeinu
How Avigail Gimpel helps parents of diagnosed children turn their lives around
Build-A-Burger Fabulous concept for bringing fun and flavor to your family party
Experimenting with Beans, Seeds, and Lentils
Skewers for Days Who can say no to food on a stick?
Libby’s sprouting adventures—and the health benefits of the process
Before You Binge
My Table
Shira Savit’s guide for when you see that donut spree coming
That Shining Light 6 tips for modeling a healthy relationship with food
To Be a
Lamplighter When and how to dispense health-related advice that will spark gratitude and hope
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How do you incorporate your favorite oil in your cooking?
Miracle Nation The Chanukah candles remind us of our logicdefying essence
Why Am I So Constipated? DIY Naturally scented hand cream
Tamar Feldman on the topic
ehT boss's edis
Shmuly’s father manages our day-to-day. But he hasn’t really been here in days.
A
s CFO, Chaim is my right arm. He oversees accounting, plans and projects, and has never led our
company astray. I’m indebted to him for the years that he’s carried our company through both good and bad times. But his son’s diagnosis changed everything. Now, he stumbles in at different times for weeks, offering silence and strained smiles. His beard turned white overnight, and his work suffers–one of his subordinates quietly pointed out potentially disastrous errors in his projections. We used to schmooze during shul. But after witnessing his tear-streaked shemonah esreis, I don’t know what to say anymore. So I stay quiet. It’s my sacrifice–supporting a broken family. I know he would do the same for me.
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WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2021
STANDING WITH RCCS SIDE BY SIDE:
D R. DAV I D L I E B E R M A N R ES P O N D S
M
uch of this advice can be applied to most scenarios when we have a neighbor, friend or someone in our community going through this type of situation.
When you happen to see the parents don’t ask, “ How’s he doing?” Better to say something such as, “You’re in our thoughts and prayers.” This way the parent doesn’t feel forced to give you a medical recap. If you want to help, make a specific suggestion, such as, “I’d like to take care of the kids’ carpool” or “We’ve got supper covered for the next two weeks” But do not push. Respect their privacy and boundaries and consider approaching another day, with another offer to help. Be a good listener and allow the parents (or children) to share whatever they’re comfortable with, but avoid a number of don’ts: TIP #1 Don’t offer a pep talk or a motivational speech. TIP #2 Don’t begin with “you think you’ve got problems?!?” or “Yikes, that stinks” or “Gam zu letovah—it’s all for the best.” TIP #3 Don’t say things like “don’t worry, everything will be fine” or “you worry too much.” TIP #4 Don’t tell them about the importance of perspective or offer a sure-fire procedure or segulah. Sometimes there is nothing more to do than to daven and to do mitzvos in the z’chus for a speedy refuah. But whatever you choose to do, it’s always good to remind ourselves of our own blessings and for all that we are grateful for.
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COPY & RESEARCH
Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson Proofreaders Faige Badian • Meira Lawrence
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WELLSPRING / KISLEV 5782
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EDITOR'S NOTE
Just Me and the Candles
L
ast issue’s Wellbeing feature—6 tips for enhanced emotional health—garnered significant feedback. Many of the letters we received focused on the one suggestion that is probably most challenging to employ in the fast-paced rhythm that is our life today: Alone Time. Taking the time on a daily basis to be with oneself, putting all distractions aside and simply focusing on the waves and ripples of our inner world, can do wonders for our spirit. “But how can I do this?” some readers wanted to know. They understand the merit in the practice and appreciate its impact on overall wellbeing, but they still find it hard to just be with themselves. Others, such as the woman whose letter was published in Springboard, contributed to the conversation by contemplating the main reasons we may find sitting with ourselves to be so arduous: “In this fast-paced world we’re living in, where accomplishments and crossing off to-do lists have become the goal of the day and there is no dearth of distractions to keep our minds buzzing all day (and night!) long, [allocating daily alone time is] the greatest gift we can give ourselves.” For many of us, being alone with our thoughts and emotions for too long (some estimate that to be two minutes), elicits a feeling of boredom, of “Okay, what now?” (I experienced a proud moment a short while back when, in an informal conversation around the supper table, I asked the kids what they like to do when they’re bored. One of them said, “Why can’t I just be bored?
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WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2021
I like to relax on the couch on my own.”) Like the women the letter writer mentions who found it too “boring” to lounge in the convalescent home postbirth, this common phenomenon plagues many. If I don’t do, do, do, who am I at all? What am I worth? It’s a tough place to be in, one that can feel highly uncomfortable and stifling.
I
know that place. And what I’ve found in my own life and from what others have shared with me, being “bored” when we’re alone with ourselves, or feeling edgy or uncomfortable when there’s nothing to distract us (such as when those distractions are off-limits), is not the problem itself—it’s the result of something deeper. Rather than, “How can I do it? Alone time just doesn’t work for me!” we might need to ask ourselves, “Why is this such a challenge?” Perhaps we base too much of our self-worth on accomplishments, a particularly prevalent malady. Or maybe we’re not ready to face other difficult emotions, like loneliness, that surface when the noise around us quiets. Whatever the reason might be, it’s interesting to observe that our challenge with alone time, with being versus doing, usually boils down to an internal versus external battle, which was essentially the war the Chashmonaim waged with the Greeks. It’s the Torah perspective versus Hellenistic culture. The more we live a life focused on the external—accomplishments, the impressions we make, the way we appear to the world—the less we allow ourselves to focus on the internal—our inherent value, our emotional sphere. When we “just” are, there are no tasks we’re checking off. We’re not “going
places.” We just are. And the attention it shines upon our internal world is powerful.
I
n her excellent feature this month, “Be That Shining Light,” Esti Asher highlights the internal versus external battle in regard to our relationship with food. When we enjoy a positive relationship with food, modeling that for our children, we are more likely to focus on what the foods do for us internally, as opposed to how they’ll impact our external appearance. We tend to our health because we care about our quality of life, because we cherish our inherent value. On Chanukah, our internal world is a place we’re encouraged to get in touch with, especially as women. For thirty minutes after the menorah is lit, we’re obligated to just be. Stop the rat race of life, forget all those tasks that have been keeping you on your toes all day long, and just sit at the flickering lights. Take it all in. This is our opportunity to take full advantage of the being moments Yiddishkeit wisely institutes into our lives—to put our distractions aside and to revel in the presence of ourselves and our families. May we merit feeling the beauty in being, in cherishing our own presence and the presence of our loved ones. Wishing you all a freilichen Chanukah,
WELL-PUT
n a m d e i r F y f Shif That Hakadosh Baruch Hu miraculously infused the capacity for continuity into the candles conveys to us that He is likewise infusing our neshamah with a supernatural ability to keep forging onward.
Rabbi Ezra Friedman
WELLSPRING / KISLEV 5782
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CONTENTS
NOVEMBER 2021 KISLEV 5782 ISSUE 70
14
Springboard
Our next issue will appear on Wednesday, December 15th iy"H.
22
Spiritual Eating
24
Torah Wellspring
28
Health Updates
WELL INFORMED
LIVING WELL
46
34
FYI
38
Fitness
44
Be the Shining Light
70
Cup of Tea
80
The Functional Dietitian
82
Compass
85
DIY
IS SHARING ALWAYS CARING?
WELLBEING
By Basya Levy In an informal survey I conducted of close to fifty women, ranging in age from 25 to 55, the passionate responses on when and how to dispense health-related advice shed light on the heated emotions this subject elicits, in both those on the giving end, and, of course, those on the receiving end.
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88
Emotional Eating
90 What I Got Through Giving 110 Inner Parenting
FAREWELL 147 Random
96 CRACK OF LIGHT By Shiffy Friedman At a time of year when the flickering candles usher light and warmth into the dark, cold nights, we gain a renewed appreciation of the power of just one crack of light—and for those who trudge in the darkness. What is life like for individuals struggling with clinical depression and from where do they gather the courage to keep seeking the light? Six brave women speak of their bleak moments, and also their personal miracles.
EXPERIMENT THIS MONTH: SPROUTING By Libby Silberman Why would I want to take my lentils or chickpeas or buckwheat or sesame seeds and sprout them? What’s wrong with using them as they are in my soup and sides and challah topping? Because that can make them so much better.
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41
LIVING RIGHT
By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN My 15-year-old son was just diagnosed with non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. In my initial research, I’ve gathered that there’s a lot of hope to keep the disease under control by implementing healthy lifestyle changes (which I’ll admit he could use). What would be the basic guidelines for a liver-friendly diet? Also, can how can I work with my son—at his age—to implement these changes? WELLSPRING / KISLEV 5782
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