AUGUST 2024 // AV 5784 // ISSUE 102
VUR: A twisted mystery "My baby was having too many UTIs"
Choreographed Habits Hakol Beseder
Going Public with Private Info Well Answered
How could they do this to me? He shattered my child’s world. Why did things turn out this way? She embarrassed me in public! Why did it have to be like this? My family is broken. How can we moved past this? She ripped my soul. They were so unfair. I am crushed. How can I get past this? She obliterated my dreams. He bankrupted my business. She sabotaged my win. Who does he think he is? Why couldn't he have picked on someone else? I didn’t do anything to deserve this. She took away my joy. Why won’t he admit what he did? Why did I have to endure this pain? He made me feel worthless. Why did my dreams get crushed? She left me in agony. She stole that from me. He caused unbearable pain. I will never recover what he took from me. She stole my peace. Her jokes were always at my expense. He made my life a nightmare. Parents are supposed to protect their children. Why don’t they love me? She shattered my confidence. How do I forgive my childhood bully? He left me in darkness. He picked on me every day. She took away my trust. Why did it have to hurt so much? He annihilated my self-worth. He made me lose everything. She made me stop believing I could do it. He shook my faith. He filled my life with sorrow. They made my world crumble. She drowned my dreams. It left me hopeless. They left me with a burden I cannot bear. She caused endless tears. My peace and serenity got shattered. He suffocated my happiness. Why did he make my life fall apart? She made my heart ache. Why did he have to make me lose everything I cared about? He left me in ruins. Why did my hopes get dashed? She demolished my spirit. Why did my trust get broken? He left me feeling abandoned. Our business will never recover. He hurt my child. He left me in constant pain. He sucked all joy out of my life. She caused my heart to bleed. They turned my life into chaos. He obliterated my sense of self. How could he say that? Why did everything I loved get taken away? She left me feeling numb. Why did my security vanish? They made me feel like a failure. Why did my world get turned upside down?
US $9.99 // CALIFORNIA $12.50 CANADA $13.00 // UK £9.00 ISRAEL ₪36.00
Introducing: Leah Richeimer from The Ladies Talkshow on Marital Health Reuniting Parent and Child Consolation and Hope Supplement or Diet That is the question
NO ARTIFICIAL GROWTH HORMONES*
ATZ D’KH ED
AL
B
CHOLOV YISROEL
KOSHER
EM
AR
U
GA T H H A B OS
KOSHER DAIRY UNDER RABBINICAL SUPERVISION K
D
T
ITNIYO
ACCEPTABLE FOR THOSE WHO CONSUME KITNIYOT ON PASSOVER
Similac On-the-go Ready-to-Feed, is convenient, portable, and ready for you and your baby. ®
Perfect for travel and late-night feeding
MILK-BASED BRAND READY TO FEED BRAND FED IN FED IN HOSPITALS HOSPITALS
S
THE
FIRST AND ONLY
BADATZCERTIFIED
Liquid Infant Formula
THE Ready-to-Feed HOVER WITH YOUR CAMERA TO LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR PROMISE
FIRST
32 oz liquid formula Similac.com
AND ONLY
Easy to use: No mixing or measuring
THE PERFECT BOTTLE ® anywhere, anytime.
THE
HOVER WITH YOUR CAMERA TO LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR PROMISE
FIRST
Similac.com
Simply attach nipple and feed
INFANT 0-12 MONTHS formula with iron
HOVER WITH YOUR CAMERA TO LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR PROMISE
Similac.com
AND ONLY
BADATZ-
BADATZ-
Liquid Infant Formula
Liquid Infant Formula
CERTIFIED HaveCERTIFIED product-related questions? Call 1-800-515-7677 Weekdays: 8:30 am - 5:00 pm EST . www.Similac.com
*No significant difference has been shown between milk derived from rbST-treated and non-rbST-treated cows
718.635.1673
The best summer tip? Trust the healthcare you trust all year.
Vaccines are available Upstate for existing patients.
Summer Tip 3: Avoid Ticks 1. Always wear long, protective clothes when in wooded or grassy areas.
2. Use tick repellent that kills ticks on contact.
3. Avoid walking through very thick brush or long grass.
ODA Monticello 845.794.5090 60 Jefferson St. | Monticello, NY
ODA Woodridge 845.434.2060 6 Dairyland Rd. | Woodridge, NY
Got bitten? You know where to go.
WELLSPRING / AV 5784
3
HEART.WORKS
Imagine the deep red vibrance of a Mediterranean Melagrano soaking up the Sicilian sun, a graceful tango of sweet and tart. Now, Stop Imagining.
Quintessentially Sicilian Sip after Sip
dartmedia.us
D rink a Banana! Leave the peeling for monkeys Pomegranate | Strawberry | Strawberry-banana | Pomegranate | Acai Berry
Product of USA
WELLSPRING / AV 5784
5
COPY & RESEARCH
Editor In Chief Tziri Hershkovitz Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC
.
Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN
Food Editor Aviva Emek Recipes Yossi & Malky Levine Styling & Photography Malky Levine ART & PRODUCTION Cover Design Aryeh Epstein Designer Rivky Schwartz Digital Media Rivkah Shanowitz ADVERTISING
Content Contributors Rabbi Yehoshua Belsky LMSW Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein Baruch Niebloom Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC
$99.00
FOOD CONTENT
Executive Account Manager Goldy Kolman 718-412-3309 Ext.2 ads@wellspringmagazine.com SUBSCRIPTION 718-437-0761 subscribe@wellspringmagazine.com
Feature Editors Vichna Belsky • Devora Levitz
DISTRIBUTION
Proofreaders Gitti Feldinger • Meira Lawrence
Weekly Publications INC. 347-782-5588
WELLSPRING MAGAZINE: 718-412-3309 info@wellspringmagazine.com www.wellspringmagazine.com 670 Myrtle Ave. Suite 389 Brooklyn, NY 11205
For Delivery Issues: Lakewood: Lakewood Courier 732-546-9333 list@lakewoodcourier.com Upstate: 845-782-1010 Brooklyn: 718-437-0761 For Subscription Issues: 347-782-5588
The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.
Join our 8 week vision intensive.
718.635.1673
WHAT CAN CHANGE IN 8 WEEKS? YOUR FOCUS. Our team of behavioral optometrists and vision therapists have built an 8 week vision program to improve your focus in only 8 weeks.
Children & Adults Male & Female Providers
Joel H Warshowsky O.D., F.A.A.O., F.C.O.V.D. Pediatric Behavioral Optometrist Director of Vision Therapy Liana Rivkin O.D., F.A.A.O. Pediatric/Adult Behavioral Optometrist
Esther Gurell O.D. Pediatric/Adult Behavioral Optometrist
Margery Robles Assistant to Vision Therapy Director
Staying behind? Get ahead. Sign up for our vision intensive.
Center For Advanced Vision Care
18 Heyward St. 718.260.4660
WELLSPRING / AV 5784
7
CONTENTS
26 AU G U S T 2 0 2 4 / AV 5 7 8 4 / I S S U E 1 0 2
20 WELL INFORMED
26
Cover Feature
56
Hakol Beseder
32
Second Opinion
58
Well Answered
34
Community
36
Fitness
38
Ask the Nutritionist
58
40 Cup of Tea
12
Springboard
46
Medical Saga
16
Spiritual Eating
50
Seasonal Stumpers
18
Torah Wellspring
52
Gut Reaction
20
Health Updates
69
WELLBEING
LIVING WELL
50
60 Marital Health 62
Let's Grow
65
Wallet Wellness
66
Mind and You
FAREWELL SEASONED
98
Holistic
Here’s The Catch DUCT
P
• N
EW
EW
• N
P
RO
We went to the depths of the sea and fished for the best. Raskin’s now offers fish sticks with 100% REAL MINCED FISH. Fish for us at your local freezer. WELLSPRING / AV 5784
9
RO
DUC
T
Boro Park Primary Care No PCP change needed Walk-ins welcome
Pediatrics Big care for little people
Chaya Kessler CPNP-PC
First Floor Primary Care + Multi Specialty Entrance on 16th Ave.
16th Ave cor. 48th St. 718.840.3535 10
WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2024
3rd Floor Women’s Health Center Entrance on 48th St.
EDITOR'S NOTE
n Monday evening, as we started counting down the Nine Days, I received a call from an unfamiliar number. The woman introduced herself as Shaindy Lieberman and she had an unusual request. She’d received a call from a woman whose two young children were in dire need of a refuah. An adam gadol had advised the distraught mother to get two hundred women to be mafrish challah on their behalf. He might as well have asked her to bake two hundred challahs on her own. How was she supposed to find that many women ready to commit?
hundred Yiddishe women committing to bake as a zechus for two young girls they never met. Tuesday the commitments continued, and at midnight, as we hit 196, plus the two challah groups that formed— one in the Catskills and one in Boro Park—we knew we’d done it. Wednesday morning I counted another seven and my heart soared. “We have reached 203!” I proudly posted on all the groups. “Mi ke’amcha Yisrael! When being mafrish challah, have in mind the two precious girls, and daven that in the zechus of the ahavas Yisrael we are witnessing, we are zocheh to the geulah—both on a personal and global level!” Mi ke’amcha Yisrael, indeed.
She called Shaindy, who often hosts challah groups, but those events are usually dedicated to an existing cause. The task seemed impossible.
The Nine Days had barely started, and it was evident the outpouring of love, the ahavas chinam we seek, is right here. It’s all around us.
Shaindy reached out to me to ask if I could possibly assist, and for a moment I was stumped at how to help; I don’t know that many people! But then I understood why she had been given my number. I am involved with Kallah Challah, an inspiring organization conceived by the indomitable Mrs. Blimie Brunner, le’iluy nishmas Mrs. Rifka Yocheved a”h bas Benzion Halevi.
“Hashem is not going to redeem us as individuals, He’s bringing the geulah for the nation,” says Rabbi Duvi Bensoussan.
Kallah Challah has volunteers across the country—and beyond—who take a challah dough to a kallah on the day of her wedding so as to amplify her precious tefillos even further. During the Nine Days, with no simchas demanding the organization’s attention, I suddenly realized the timing was ideal. I posted the request on nine of our Kallah Challah groups, and the responses came pouring in. From all over Brooklyn, Lakewood, Passaic, Baltimore, Upstate New York and the Upper East Side, my phone kept dinging. “I can commit.” “Count me in!” “Put me down for 3 doughs, may they have a refuah sheleimah bekarov!” As the news spread about a young mother asking for tefillos on behalf of her children, I got private texts and calls as well. I struggled to keep track as the tears blurred my vision. Hashem, look at your children! Look at the outpouring of love for a complete stranger!
WELL-PUT
Shaindy’s call had come at 8:58 in the evening and by 11 p.m., when I called her back, we had topped eighty. By the time I closed my phone for the night we had over a
Hashem, Your nation is ready. Every day we ask the Ribono shel Olam to rebuild Yerushalayim and the Beis Hamikdash, “Uvnei Yerushalayim … bimheira be’yameinu.” The tzaddik, Rebbe Naftoli Ropschitzer zy”a, suggests an important idea in understanding this bracha. The word be’yameinu can be understood to mean in our days—or alternatively with our days. The way we spend our days and what we do with our days, can contribute to the rebuilding of the Beis Hamikdash. The Ropshitzer’s keen insight, spells out for us the sacred task with which we are charged. In these Nine Days so many women took that insight to heart and utilized their days to speed up Moshiach’s arrival and bring the Geulah sheleima!
Tziri Hershkovitz tziri@wellspringmagazine.com
P.S. Please daven for the refuah of Breindel Yitta bas Yehudis and Reizel bas Yehudis, and may we be zoche to hear besuros tovos by all of Klal Yisrael.
"If you pause to consider it, you’ll realize that in the big picture, whatever you are busy with pales in comparison to the value of the person currently asking for your attention."
Leah Richeimer, Marital Health WELLSPRING / AV 5784
11
SPRINGBOARD
On Mindfulness, Hakol Beseder, Impetigo Solutions, and more
Mind the Moment Issue 101: Editorial
As an avid and eager Wellspring reader, I wanted to share some thoughts that came to me while reading the Editor’s Note in the July edition. Tziri Hershkovitz shared that as the co-founder of Hakol Beseder, she believes that homemaking should be easy and simple. She says, “In Hashem’s glorious world…there is no reason for us to go through life without enjoying every minute of it.” I quite agree, but we need to make that choice. Allow me to explain. Yiddishkeit, at its core, is supposed to be meaningful,
12
WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2024
rewarding, and pleasant, as it says, “Deracheha darchei noam.” I’m a firm believer that if it’s burdensome, then yes, we are doing something wrong. However, with the principles of Hakol Beseder and mindfulness (and I’m sure there are other mediums as well that I’m unaware of), we can relearn the beauty of Yiddishkeit. I’ve never taken Hakol Beseder classes, but from what I’ve read, I intuit that they focus on living a mindful life. I’m currently working on a project to share how mitzvos and psychology can be combined to make for an enriching, most rewarding, and meaningful life. Because, when we truly tap into the moment and understand our what and why, we live vastly different lives. It’s purposeful and beautiful, as Tziri stated.
When we know what we’re doing and the meaning behind the mitzvah, we experience it on an entirely new level, and it becomes exciting and enjoyable. We feel satiated and fulfilled, and any emptiness we’ve been feeling starts seeping away as we nourish ourselves with a true gift—the present moment in its entirety! Saralah P., Brooklyn, New York
Fanfare from a Fan Issue 101: Hakol Beseder
Congratulations on a job well done! The new Wellbeing section takes the magazine to a whole new level. There’s inspiration and practical advice for every aspect of our lives. In my younger years, when I was starting out as a homemaker, I had the Hakol Beseder book as my guide and avidly listened to the Homemakers’ Hotline. To this day, I have habits ingrained in me from the program. I wish you much continued success! A Wellspring Fan
Community’s Echo Issue 101: Community
Thank you for the comprehensive Community responses to impetigo. I was surprised you didn’t mention the only option that worked for my family. When my baby first got impetigo, we tried countless approaches, many of which were mentioned in Wellspring’s Community feature. Some worked better than others, but at the end of the day, the impetigo infection stayed and eventually made its rounds to my other kids. We finally discovered the amazing power of hydrogen peroxide. Unlike the other results, which were minimal and/or temporary, hydrogen peroxide healed the impetigo entirely, baruch Hashem. Leah W., Brooklyn, New York
WELLSPRING / AV 5784
13
SPRINGBOARD
Quick Question Question:
My baby is three weeks old and very sleepy. I have to wake her for each feeding, at which point she nurses for just three minutes and promptly falls asleep. She isn’t gaining weight properly. Her pediatrician suggested I supplement, so I gave her formula, but she barely drank any. Her face is very red, and people are telling me she’s probably jaundiced. Is there anything I can do?
Answer:
Yes. If your baby’s complexion looks darker than normal, you may want to check her for jaundice. It is very common, especially in infants and babies who were born early. If the bilirubin test comes back with higher than normal levels, you may want to discuss the situation with your doctor. See what they suggest, especially in light of your baby being sleepy and not gaining weight. In addition to the doctor’s recommendation, there is a two-pronged alternative solution for babies with jaundice—involving treatment for the mother for the baby. Mothers who are breastfeeding should take milk thistle and Jaundice Relief (Jaundice Relief is likely available at your local health food store, and is often recommended by mohelim—although it certainly is not only for mothers of baby boys). You might want to give the baby lycopodium 12c and massage her with vitamin E oil. Additionally, reflexology for the liver is non-invasive and has been proven very effective. Miriam Schweid, Health Consultant
Doing Double Duty
idea, combining both our physical and spiritual wellbeing.
Issue 101: Update
That is the essence of Wellspring magazine!
Thank you for a delightful magazine! Regarding the article “The Great Outdoors,” by Bayla Brooks, praise is deserved. The article describes the benefits nature has on our bodies, and it mentions a study that found “bringing blooms indoors once a week would be sufficient for us to reap the benefits when we look at them.” She went on to conclude that our Shabbos flowers can positively impact us throughout the week. This is a powerful and beautiful
Mrs. K. Brieger We hear you! There was an overwhelming demand for contact info for health consultant Chany Silber, featured in our May issue. Feel free to reach out to Chany at chanysilber@ gmail.com or 718.964.7681.
Get in touch! Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.
14
WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2024
YOUR HEALTH IS NOT ON VACATION. Pediatrics + Primary Care Visit
Richard Finkel, MD
Year-round experienced physician at ParCare. For all your health needs during the summer season
Doctor is in daily
No PCP change required
Located in
Ichud Bungalow Colony
Entrance 2 RT 42 Monticello, NY
For an appointment please call:
718.500.0369
New service
Throat Culture
Ear Pain
Allergies
Wart Treatment
WELLSPRING / AV 5784
15
SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS
Rationalizing a Road to Religious Ruin We’re commanded to thank Hashem after eating a meal: “You shall eat, be satisfied and bless” (Devarim 8:10).
In fact, among the more than one hundred blessings a Jew makes during the day, only two are actual requirements from the Torah—the rest are Rabbinical injunctions. The other Biblical command is to say the appropriate blessings before learning Torah. What’s the common denominator? Specifically, why are we obliged to bless after we eat and before we learn? The Rabbis tell us that Torah learning leaves such a sweet taste in our mouth that we would be eager to thank Hashem for this wonderful gift after partaking of it. Before, however, as we anticipate wading through complex concepts in a difficult language, it can seem daunting. We are much less inclined to show appreciation prior to beginning such a challenging task. And that’s exactly when we should express that gratitude—not when we feel like it, but when we need to. For Hashem commands us to do things that don’t necessarily come naturally to us, but are good for us anyway; thus the mitzvah from the Torah to say birchas haTorah before learning.
16
WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2024
The same holds true with eating. Before sitting down to a meal, we’re often hungry and anxiously anticipating getting at the food. Of course, we’ll be appreciative and more than happy to acknowledge our Creator as the source of our satisfaction. But once satiety settles over us, our eager enthusiasm to say thank you can easily be erased. Our minds contract as our stomachs expand. And that’s exactly when Hashem charges us to think outside of ourselves—to appreciate His goodness when we’re more prone to concentrating on our own contentment. The consequences of not doing so are catastrophic. For the very next series of verses continue, “Take care lest you forget Hashem, your G-d, by not observing His commandments, His ordinances, and His decrees, which I command you today. Lest you eat and be satisfied, and you build good houses and settle. And your cattle and sheep and goats increase, and you increase silver and gold for yourselves, and everything that you have will increase. And your heart will become haughty and you
will forget Hashem, your G-d, Who took you out of the land of Egypt from the house of slavery…And you may say in your heart, ‘My strength and the might of my hand made me all this wealth’” (Devarim 8:11–14, 17). If we respect food as a vital necessity for our physical survival, and enjoy it while using it responsibly, we can grow to the highest spiritual heights by connecting intimately and consistently with our Creator. If, however, we treat it as a treat, a vehicle for
self-indulgence under the guise of a sacred service, then we’ve done nothing less than rationalize a road to religious ruin and physical harm. “It shall be that if you forget Hashem, your G-d, and go after the gods of others, and worship them and prostrate yourself to them—I testify against you today that you will surely perish, like the nations that Hashem causes to perish before you, so will you perish because you will not have hearkened to the voice of Hashem,
your G-d” (Devarim 8:19–20). Now these pesukim can either leave us trembling in fear or soberly encouraged with the assurance that if we make the effort to truly hear the voice of Hashem—how He wants us to respect and care for our precious bodies that He has entrusted to us— then we can use it as a tremendous vehicle for physical health and spiritual aliyah.
Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood. He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-578-8800, email info@soveya.com, or visit www.soveya.com.
TORAH WELLSPRING By Rabbi YY Rubinstein
CONSOLATION AND HOPE When my late wife a”h became ill, I asked to meet with her oncologist. We both came from the same hometown and although he wasn’t Jewish, I hoped that created a bond. I wanted to ask for a very big favor that would require him to ignore hospital protocol. I asked that if he had any bad news to impart, he would tell me first so I could decide when and how to share it with her. I didn’t want my wife to hear anything that could make her despair. I told him, “Jews exist through hope.” This kind doctor agreed. After churban Bayis Sheini, the world believed that hope had deserted us for good; but it remained, if only we looked to see it. The Talmud makes that clear in Makkos 24b: It happened that Rabban Gamliel, Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah, Rabbi Yehoshua, and Rabbi Akiva went up to Jerusalem. As they reached Har Hatzofim, they tore their garments. When they reached Har Habayis, a fox emerged from the place of the Holy of Holies. They started crying…but Rabbi Akiva laughed. 18
WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2024
They asked him, “Why are you laughing?” He said to them, “Why are you crying?” They replied, “A place [so holy] that it says (Bamidbar 1:51), ‘If a stranger approaches it they would die,’ and now foxes wander within it; shouldn’t we weep?” He said to them, “That is exactly why I laughed! It says (Yeshayah 8:2), ‘I shall have for Me faithful witnesses— Uriah the Priest and Zechariah the son of Berechiah.’ “Now consider, what is the connection between Uriah and Zechariah? They lived in different eras. Uriah lived at the time of the first Beis Hamikdash, and Zechariah lived at the time of the second! “The answer is that the Torah makes Zechariah’s prophecy dependent upon Uriah’s prophecy. With Uriah, it states (Michah 13:12), ‘It is because of you [Jewish leaders] that Zion shall be [destroyed and] plowed up just like a field.’ “Later, in the prophecy of Zechariah (8:4) it is written, ‘Old men and women shall once more sit in the streets of
Jerusalem.’ “As long as Uriah’s prophecy had not been fulfilled, I feared that Zechariah’s prophecy would not be fulfilled either. Now that Uriah’s prophecy has been fulfilled, it is certain that Zechariah’s prophecy too will come true.” Rabban Gamliel, Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah, and Rabbi Yehoshua said, “Akiva, you have consoled us! Akiva… you have consoled us!” What Rabbi Akiva gave Rabban Gamliel, Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah, and Rabbi Yehoshua was hope! In our lifetimes, even before the geulah, we have become used to seeing old men and women (and of course noisy, laughing children) in the streets of Jerusalem once more…and yet… Last Shemini Atzeres, October 7th, that “hope fulfilled” was shaken. Since then, the despair and the crying of Klal Yisrael has been heard again. It is imperative to remind ourselves of some fundamental truths that have always given us hope and kept us going. The first is Hashem’s words to Moshe Rabbeinu, in Devarim 14:1,
“Banim atem laHashem Elokeichem.” You are My children (and of course, He is our Father). Many years ago, I was concluding a talk in front of a large audience in London. Afterward, there were several people waiting to ask me questions. The last questioner approached me and asked if I lived in Manchester. I confirmed that I did. He inquired which area in Manchester, and I told him. Then he asked if I knew a certain person who lived there, and I answered yes. “How is he getting on?” he inquired. Next, he asked what this person did for a living and then how many children he had and how old they were. I tried my best to answer, and then it was my turn to pose a question. “How do you know him?” My questioner looked at me pensively, and a very sad expression passed across his face. He looked down at the floor, and quietly replied, “He’s my son.” I was taken aback and after a moment asked, “Forgive me, but how is it that you don’t know how many grandchildren you have?” I listened to his tale of a rebellious teenager who had gone off the rails in a big way. His parents had tried every tactic they could think of to make their son see sense. They had tried bribery and threats and had gotten other people to talk to him, but nothing had worked. One night, in both frustration and desperation, the father had lost his temper and screamed at his son, “Get out! Get out and never come back!” And that’s exactly what the boy had done. And 15 years later, with no contact with his parents since that day, we have a father asking the loaded question of “How many children does he have?” I listened with great sadness and told the father that although I didn’t know his son well, I felt sure he would like to see his father again. The father shook his head firmly and replied, “It’s too late now. Too much water has flowed under the bridge.”
Then an idea struck me. I suggested that if he gave me his address and phone number, I could send him regular reports on how his son and his family were getting along. The father liked this idea, and so we parted with me promising to keep in touch. When I returned to Manchester, by coincidence, I bumped into his son (you can always arrange a coincidence). I told him I had just returned from London and had met someone there who was asking after him. He inquired who it was. I paused and replied, “Your father.” He looked at me for a moment and then asked, “How is he getting on?” It was obvious that the son was as concerned for the father as the father was for the son. I explained that I thought his father wanted to see him, and uncannily, he replied in the identical manner as his father had. “I don’t think so. Too much water has flowed under the bridge.” I told him, “By coincidence, I am going back down to London again tomorrow (another coincidence). Suppose I were to take you to see your father and come in with you?” The son hesitated, but I was able to convince him to agree. When I arrived home, I phoned his father and asked him if he would be home the next day at one o’clock. He probably assumed I intended to phone with a report and confirmed that he would. I told him that I was bringing his son to see him! Before he could reply, I said goodbye and hung up. The drive to London passed unusually quickly. We parked outside the house, and I walked up to the front door with my very nervous companion.
I knocked on the door—the son was too nervous—but there was no answer. A minute later I knocked again and started to worry that the father had reneged. Then the door opened. The man who’d had so many questions two days before stood anxiously, looking at the face of the son he hadn’t seen for 15 years. I watched as tears welled up in his eyes and started to course down his cheeks. I looked at the son, and he too had tear-filled eyes. The son took one step toward his father, and the father rushed toward his son, folding him in a hug. After a few moments, they walked together into the house. I found myself wonderfully redundant and paused to wipe the tears from my own cheeks. I called out that I would come back in three hours or so to collect the son for the return journey to Manchester. A few months later, the son bought a house in London and moved there with his family to be near his father and mother. We are Hashem’s sons and daughters, and every father wants to welcome his children home again, especially Avinu Malkeinu. The second thing we must remember are the words of Yirmiyahu 23:7, where Hashem makes us a promise especially for times when we might start to despair and lose hope: “Days are coming, I promise, when no one will talk about the miracles Hashem did when He took us out of Egypt, but instead of how He took all of us out of the lands of the north and wherever we were scattered…to dwell again in their land.” Hashem said those words as a promise, and we hope it is fulfilled soon.
UK born, Rabbi YY Rubinstein learned in the famous Gateshead Yeshiva for ten years where he received semicha. He is an international speaker and the author of fourteen books. His latest, "Never Alone,” for teens and young adults who've lost a parent, arrived in bookstores this year.
WELLSPRING / AV 5784
19
UPDATES By Bayla Brooks
Ad Meah Ve’esrim! Want to live to 120? How these healthy habits after 80 can help.
It seems more people today are living to be centenarians; that is, people who have managed to live to the ripe old age of 100 or more. According to the Pew Research Center, centenarians currently comprise only 0.03 percent of the US population. However, that number is expected to quadruple, reaching 0.1 percent by 2054. But what is the secret to reaching an advanced age? Of course, arichas yamim is a gift from Hashem and determined Above. It’s a tremendously special berachah that we wish upon everyone, including our parents and grandparents, and even great-(great!)-grandparents. A recent study, published on June 20, 2024, in JAMA Network Open by a group of Chinese researchers, says that living a healthy lifestyle specifically in a person’s later years can be an important determinant of their longevity. The authors wrote that most previous studies focusing on lifestyle and life expectancy have concentrated on the effect of lifestyle factors in middle-aged and older individuals. They wanted to examine the effects on people age 80 and up, particularly to learn how likely they were to become centenarians. To study the issue, they used data from the Chinese Longitudinal Healthy Longevity Survey, one of the largest studies looking at this age group. Just over 5,200 people were included in the study, about 62 percent of them being female. Their average age was 94.3. It was found that healthy lifestyles in participants aged 80-plus were associated with a likelihood of reaching age 100. Delving more into the specifics of a healthy lifestyle for people over 80, Dan Gallagher, a Registered Dietitian with Aegle Nutrition, explained that while a healthy lifestyle may look slightly different for each person, certain things can help everyone. “Remaining active is top of the list on remaining healthy long into old age,” he said, “along with a sense of community.” While a sense of community was not one of the factors studied by the authors of the current study, Gallagher noted that people living in the Blue Zones, distinct geographic areas known for the greater longevity of their residents, tend to have a deep sense of community that helps them remain active and outdoors on a daily basis. “Add to that a diet that’s rich in healthy lean proteins and fats, and you have a recipe for longevity,” he explained. Gallagher further remarked that a person’s diet will largely depend on their specific nutritional needs. However, as people age, they tend to require more protein than they did in their youth. “Make sure you’re meeting your protein needs and giving your brain healthy fats and you’ll find it’s easier to remain active within your community,” he said.
20
WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2024
UPDATES
The Power of Walking
Taking regular walks may help reduce lower back pain If you are reading this, then you are very likely a human adult. If you are a human adult, then you have probably experienced some degree of back pain in the past. Lower back pain is incredibly common and notoriously difficult to treat. A new study, however, finds that a simple, cost-effective, and highly accessible intervention can make a real difference: walking. A new study, published in The Lancet on June 19, 2024, found that low back pain sufferers who walked regularly experience pain significantly less frequently. They also reported improved quality of life. Participants who walked regularly were half as likely to need time off work or require medical treatment than others. Dr. Tash Pocovi, lead author of the study and a postdoctoral fellow at Macquarie University, Australia, said, “Working in physiotherapy, it’s incredible to see just how prevalent low back pain is with reports that 620 million people globally reported experiencing low back pain in 2020. While it’s not considered a life-threatening disease, we can see the very serious impacts it can have on people’s lifestyle, ability to work, and overall quality of life.” For their study, the scientists recruited 701 people who had recently experienced an episode of low back pain. Split into two groups, one acted as the control, and the other embarked on a personalized walking program including six education sessions with a physiotherapist over six months. The scientists followed up with the participants for 1–3 years. They found that those in the walking group experienced pain that limited their activity less often than those in the other group. There was also a longer gap before they had a recurrence: an average of 208 days compared with 112 days. Pocovi said that she was not surprised that walking benefited these people because the intervention “helped get people moving, reduced their fear, and gave them strategies and confidence to self-manage their condition—all of which we know are important.” However, she was surprised by how much the intervention could impact people’s lives aside from improving their low back pain management. “While we were able to reduce the recurrence of low back pain requiring
22
WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2024
care-seeking by over 40 percent, we also had patients who reported improved sleep, mood, positive lifestyle changes, and improved management of other chronic health conditions,” she explained. Neel Anand, MD, an orthopedic spine surgeon and director of the Cedars-Sinai Spine Center in Los Angeles, California, who was not involved in the study, added a note of caution: “While walking is a great total-body cardiovascular exercise that can be especially helpful for people experiencing back pain episodes, be sure not to go too far or for too long if you’re in moderate to severe pain, and make sure that the walking surface is even, without too much uphill or downhill variation to start.” It is very pleasing to see the positive overall health implications of this easy intervention. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to avoid the back pain in the first place? Here are some tips to reduce the risks of low back pain: maintain a healthy weight, engage in regular physical activity, practice good posture, use proper techniques when lifting heavy objects, and avoid prolonged sitting. If despite your efforts at prevention, back pain still seems to be coming for you, do your back a favor and just... walk away.
UPDATES
Part
19 in a
s serie
DEMYSTIFIED Myth: Caffeine Causes Migraines Is coffee the culprit? This is a myth. Caffeine does not cause migraine, but it can be a trigger for some people. Causes and triggers are inherently different, and it’s important to recognize the distinction. While coffee will never be the source of a migraine, it may bring it on. Coffee and migraine have a complex relationship. To make it more fiddly: excessive use of caffeine can trigger a migraine. However, caffeine, in general, can help alleviate headaches, including migraine headaches. Some people find drinking caffeine at the onset of an attack lowers the intensity and can help alleviate some of the pain, but regular use of caffeine as a treatment is not advised. To add another level of complexity, it has been found that drinking caffeinated beverages can start a migraine attack, but that caffeine withdrawal symptoms are an even more frequent migraine trigger. There is insufficient evidence to recommend caffeine cessation to all migraine patients. However, it is important to highlight that caffeine overuse may lead to migraine chronification, and sudden caffeine withdrawal may trigger migraine attacks. So, to all migraine sufferers: be wary of—but don’t shift all the blame onto—that steaming cup of joe.
24
WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2024
718.635.1673
The best summer tip? Trust the healthcare you trust all year.
Vaccines are available Upstate for existing patients.
Summer Tip 2: Ride Safely 1. Make sure the bike is the right size. You
should be able to touch the ground when you sit on the seat.
2. Wear safety gear. Make sure your helmet fits and wear elbow and knee pads for more protection.
3. Ride on flat, smooth surfaces and avoid slopes and rough terrain.
ODA Monticello 845.794.5090 60 Jefferson St. | Monticello, NY
ODA Woodridge 845.434.2060 6 Dairyland Rd. | Woodridge, NY
Got hurt? You know where to go.
WELLSPRING / AV 5784
25
COVER FEATURE
Let It Go
YOU NEED THE SPACE FOR BLESSINGS AND BLISS
“I’m never going to forgive him,” said my nephew about his sixth-grade teacher. “I can’t forgive him.” Ari’s teacher had insulted him in front of the entire class for nothing, he insisted. “I did nothing wrong! All the boys were doing the same thing—and he didn’t punish them.” Alright, so apparently Ari had done something, but that wasn’t the point now. It had been weeks and Ari was still angry with his teacher. Just the
26
WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2024
thought of entering the classroom made him double over in pain. Sometimes he claimed he had a headache. He wasn’t totally faking it. My friend Riki* said something similar to me about the askanim she believes messed up her parents’ marriage. “I can never let it go. They went back home to their own families, having broken up the only home I ever knew.” Mr. Brach* shared similar senti-
ments about the man who had intentionally undermined his business, “stuck a knife” in his back and pushed him out. “He’s going about living his wonderful life, totally not caring how he messed up mine. Why should I forgive him?” Riki suffers from migraines, acid reflux, and overwhelming anxiety. Mr. Brach experiences the same as well as obesity, exacerbated by emotional binge eating. They both know they’re
By Tziri Hershkovitz
not in the best of health and that the resentment isn’t helping them, but even mentioning the word “forgiveness” gets them upset.
By holding onto the grudge, they aren’t damaging any part of the offenders’ lives—they are, though, hurting themselves badly.
“He’s never even asked for forgiveness,” Mr. Brach seethes.
A study performed by Sapienza University of Rome shows that people who hold grudges are more depressed and feel more anxious and stressed. Holding grudges may cause high blood pressure, heart problems, lowered immunity, and inflammation.
The anger and pain expressed are perhaps justified, but Ari, Mimi, and Mr. Brach are hurting themselves in the process. The parties who wronged them have long moved on. Unfair perhaps, but nonetheless true.
Furthermore, those who can’t for-
give are more likely to experience cognitive decline, and as a byproduct of that, increased social isolation. “Forgive,” the saying goes, “not because they deserve it, but because you do.”
Hurt Hearts Holding onto a grudge is indisputably bad for our physical health. Ad-
WELLSPRING / AV 5784
27