Volume 25, Issue 2
2021-2022
About U.S.
A Publishing Tradition of The Unquowa School
A Message From the Head of School
I
In her poem “To Be of Use,” Marge Piercy reminds us of the
children and young adults responsibilities that leave no doubt in
obvious but sadly forgotten fact: ”the pitcher cries for water
their minds that, yes, we love them endlessly but we also have no
to carry and a person for work that is real.” I read Piercy’s piece
doubt that they can make it on their own - first in small ways and
as my closing poem at assembly at least once a year because
then large ones.
it bears remembering for all of us, young and old, for very fundamental human reasons. From the moment a child can walk, carry the smallest object and understand language, we can offer them tasks that begin to
It is often hard to have faith that our children can do things without us and even harder to believe that it is essential for us to provide them, little by little, with the opportunity to prove that truth to both us and to themselves. Often families misguidedly
instill in them the
“snowplow” an
message that
effortless path
they are capable
for their children
and needed.
out of love, not
Such is the first
realizing the
message that
message they
says they are
are sending. It
truly a member
may seem easier
of a family. Not
for both parents
just someone
and kids, but
who gets but
in the long-run
someone who
it is damaging
gives. Not just
because the
someone who is
underlying
lucky to belong
message is,
but someone who
“I’m afraid you just
earns the right
can’t make it on
to be a part of -
your own.”
first their nuclear
There are
family, then their extended family, then their larger family of school,
many examples here at Unquowa of ways in which we provide
faith, focus organizations like sports and theatre and community in
students with the opportunity to feel useful and competent - older
general.
students working with younger ones, kids of all ages serving and
Being loved and cared for is of course essential for children,
cleaning up at lunch, service learning experiences where our older
but the sense of belonging that being useful builds is far more
students spend time in settings where they connect with neuro-
complex than the sense of simply being assured that one is being
attypical kids, or opportunities we provide for older kids to write and
loved and cared for because it also increases lasting confidence in
receive grants for projects that are near and dear to them.
a way that love alone cannot. I can feel safe when I am cared for,
There are many tangible objects and experiences we can give
but as I grow I will also feel far more confident when I know that I
our children that are wonderful to receive but that have fleeting
can take care of myself. My self-confidence rises even more when
value. Their education, their sense of usefulness, and their self-
I hear from those who love me that they have no doubt in my ability
worth - these are things that no one can ever take from them.
to take care of myself and to contribute to the well-being of my
They are the most lasting, the most precious gifts we can give our
family as well.
children.
Small, reasonable messages of confidence in young children grow into stronger messages of confidence as we give older
Sharon Lauer, Head of School