Issuu

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2019 • VOL. 122, ISS. 36

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WICHITA STATE UNIVERSITY’S INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER SINCE 1896.

“I do not trust Kenon Brinkley. He took advantage of me.”

“Anyone I know can read every detail of my sexual history with him for the rest of my life.”

“I felt alone until now.”

“When I initially shared my story, I thought I was his only victim.”

“I was vulnerable enough to show the deepest parts of my soul to someone that violated my trust.”

IN THEIR WORDS

“This has nothing to do with race and everything to do with Kenon Brinkley needing to see consequences for his actions.”

“I was told it was my fault.”

“It is important to me to speak out about this with these other beautiful, strong women.”

“I am still in the process of remembering who I was before this happened to me.”

“Kenon abused my trust.” Women accusing Kenon Brinkley of sexual assault spoke during Wednesday’s SGA meeting. Brinkley, who resigned as student body president, has not responded to requests for comment. Below are excerpts from the women’s statements. MAIA CUELLAR I have had the absolute honor of talking within a closed group of amazing women who have shared their stories about the mental, emotional, and physical abuse that Kenon Brinkley has put them through. This is my story. Kenon and I had an explicit conversation about the importance of using condoms when having sex. Kenon told me that himself and his fraternity preach the importance of safe sex. Kenon and I had multiple consensual sexual interactions before with protection. Kenon had my trust that he would continue to only have sex with me while wearing protection. Kenon abused my trust on June 17 of 2017. Kenon penetrated me without wearing a condom without my consent. He made sure I wasn’t looking when he did it. ... Whether or not you believe that what happened to me constitutes rape is not for me to convince you of. I have shared my story with the public in graphic detail. My family members can read it — my siblings, my parents, my employers. Anyone I know can read every detail of my sexual history with him for the rest of my life. I made this choice and shared my story in the hopes that it can protect other women from his predatory behavior. You can choose not to believe me, but you cannot deny that my story and the story of these other women shows his manipulative, abusive, and destructive pattern of behavior. When I initially shared my story, I thought I was his only victim. JOZIE CAUDILLO I’m going to begin this by strongly emphasizing the point that I am personally restricted by a university-issued No Contact order

from speaking in detail about my personal experience. But as I believe that this speech is a matter of public concern, I will simply say what happened to me and how it made me feel. ... In September of this past year, I was physically assaulted following four months of verbal, emotional, mental and psychological abuse. ... I was too emotionally invested, intimidated, and fearful to agree to pursue an investigation. I believe I was manipulated into telling Title IX not to pursue an investigation at the time, as I was promised that what happened to me could be rectified in other ways. It never was. After a few months, I began to feel that I was cheated in silence — that there was never going to be any justice for what had happened to me. I began asking questions about what would happen if I did decide to come forward with Title IX. I was told that I should really think about what I was doing. I was told that no one would believe my story. I was told I should have left when I had the chance. I was told that I should have never let it get to that point. I was told that I was asking for it. And I was told it was my fault. ... I still remember hearing my own voice scream my roommate’s name over and over as loud as I could so she could come and save me. I remember begging for hours — please just let me go, please just let me go. I remember being pinned to the ground, verbally assaulted to the point of dissociating from my own body as my only way to escape the trauma. I can still hear the sound of my shower door breaking off its hinges from the force of my small body being shoved into it. I wake up every morning with scars on my body, and those scars will be what I have to live with for the rest of my life. Because of what happened to me, I slit my wrists that following morning for the first time in my life. ...

I was vulnerable enough to show the deepest parts of my soul to someone that violated my trust by using it to hurt me — verbally, emotionally, psychologically, and physically. Now it is time I believe that we all need to look within ourselves and stand with survivors against those that prey on vulnerable women to violate their bodies, trust, and minds. EMILY RAINE I met Kenon Brinkley in May of 2015 at a state forensics competition in Topeka. I was 15, about to turn 16, and he was 18 and about to graduate. We added each other on Facebook and continued to talk for a while before exchanging numbers. ... In approximately September or October of 2015, he told me he loved me and said that love to him was a verb and used that to pressure me into saying yes to having sex with him. I told him that if we ever had sex, he must use a condom. I was very clear on the fact that my consent was conditional — no condom meant no consent. He agreed and said that using protection was very important. We had intercourse three times over the course of about a year. The first time was consensual. ... The other two times we had sex were in the back seat of his car at a park in downtown Wichita, and both times, he removed the condom without my knowledge. ... To guilt me into consenting to unprotected sex, he said that he had incredible control over his body and that if I made him use a condom, it meant I didn’t trust him. I always told him that if we were going to have intercourse, he must wear a condom. ... This man destroyed my sense of self-worth and my ability to trust anyone, and it is important to me

to speak out about this with these other beautiful, strong women. ANONYMOUS WSU STUDENT WHOSE STATEMENT WAS READ ALOUD We matched on Tinder in August of 2017. It was my first few weeks of college. He was cute and poetic, so we messaged for a bit. A majority of it was quite sexual, but then again, it was Tinder. After a bit of talking, we agreed to meet in a hotel. I said I’d drink and smoke weed with him. I said I’d have sex with him. I told myself it would be fun. I knew how to drink and I knew how to smoke and he knew what he was doing. This is what I told myself. I had one drink. There were probably two shots of vodka in that drink, at most. From the kitchenette, we moved to the bathroom, and he pulled out a tub full of cat litter and marijuana. Soon, the pipe was full, and he handed it to me. I took a drag, and then coughed until I cried. I swore I wasn’t new to it, and he laughed at me. I stopped with the substances at that point. The substances did not stop with me. They hit me like a truck. I think I may have been numb. I was so intoxicated I was silly. This was not one drink, one drag behavior. In fact, the friend who picked me up afterward categorized my behavior as “hella drunk.” ... I wanted to say no, but I couldn’t. I told myself that I consented beforehand, and that was good enough. But I just wanted to sleep. I remember almost falling asleep during a lull in activity. He got up to grab a condom — or to replace the condom. I don’t remember. I know I was half asleep, lying on my side, when he suggested changing positions I did not want to. I could not move my body. After 20 or so seconds, I pulled myself out of the stupor, and I complied. I was quite inebriated. But I do remember saying, “Stop, please, ouch, it hurts.” He did not stop. He kept going because “Oh, but, I’m so close.” This was also a lie. It hurt. It kept fucking hurting. And he did not stop.

BRINKLEY RESIGNS; ROWELL SWORN IN AS STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT • PAGE 3

OPINION

2 | THURSDAY, FEB. 14, 2019

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‘Love in Legal Mediums’ A coming-of-age love story

wake up in the middle of a dream that I desperately want to remember. It’s 10:03 a.m. The pitter-patter of rain on the windowsill is the first thing that greets me for the day. The fleeting moments and flashes of imagination that the dream presented are fresh, but soon begin to dissipate from my mind. The process reminds me that they are never coming back. The quiet vibe of a melancholy morning evades the air. I normally welcome this tinge of melancholy, but my addiction to external stimulus leads me to trying out Ben Dipper’s latest “Love in Legal Mediums” instead. The melancholy is quickly replaced by sweet, dreamy melodies. The floating music on “Love in Legal Mediums” evokes a gravitational shift that resonates in the wake of the EP’s 10 minutes of play-time. There’s a natural coming-ofage feel to Lawrence, Kansas, the college town where Ben Dipper crafts his music and the one where I’ve spent the night as a visitor. It sweetly spins out of the project as each song unravels. The love that Dipper has imbedded in each track emulates the soft textures of a grainy, 35mm photograph. “Love in Legal Mediums” gives me an extended moment to breathe — tapping me into a very sensitive headspace and allowing me to feel everything. This trance of a project is the perfect millennial mood setter. After one listen of the 10-minute odyssey, I unlock

RYAN CREWS COLUMNIST

“‘LOVE IN LEGAL MEDIUMS’ GIVES ME AN EXTENDED MOMENT TO BREATHE — TAPPING ME INTO A VERY SENSITIVE HEADSPACE AND ALLOWING ME TO FEEL EVERYTHING.”

myself from my dream state and get up from the friends’ couch that has been my bed for the night. When I make my way out the door, I drive around Lawrence. The raindrops flutter down my windshield in a mysterious maze-like pattern as I roll down Mass Street. I don’t wipe them away immediately. I let each drop sit on the windshield long enough for their patterns to start making sense. Just when their meaning becomes coherent, I hit the wiper notch once and erase the existential painting before me. As the album resets for the second time of the drive, I let the raindrops figure themselves out down my windshield to the beat of the EP’s opener, “Girl on the Porch.” Doing various activities around Lawrence set to this

music, I feel like I’m lost in a coming of age classic. You know — one of those way-toocute films that gives you an unrealistic idea of what love means and stars a “manic pixie dream girl.” However, Dipper’s script is written for a realistic human being with the complexities of human emotion. It’s about the type of girl that could break your heart right back if you tried to step over her for character development. In fact, this movie-of-a-project was written alongside the grace and giddiness of a true love story. Ben Dipper’s real-life dream girl, Kalie Belt of Honeyblush, co-inhabits the vocal layerings on the standout track, “The Barriers We Build With Our Clothes.” Hearing them serenade each other in sweet melody is one of the biggest pay-offs of the album. The project is a peek into a poetic journal, documenting the cutesy moments of Ben’s love. It is a fantasy, carved in a tree with a heart wrapped around the words, “Ben + Kalie forever.” It’s less about the cooking and cleaning and self-maintenance that goes into keeping a relationship afloat and more about slipping off into a dream while embraced in your lover’s arms. Whether you listen to the project with the one you love or you’re like me, alone on a Lawrence couch for the night, “Love in Legal Mediums” is a project to listen to and dream. Who knows? Maybe somebody is dreaming of you right back. Embrace the music and say hello.

A call for Greek life and The Sunflower to ‘drop weapons’ As we’ve noticed recently, acts of bipartisanship are few and far between. I know. I write this from Washington DC. This semester, I’m interning in the U.S. Senate. One of the biggest (and most unfortunate) things I’ve noticed? Nastiness is coming from either side of the aisle. Americans are sick and tired of it. I know I am. The people who call my office sure are. What I shouldn’t see — at least what I don’t want to see — is this nastiness on my campus. I am, and have been, since before even arriving on campus, a reader — nay, a fan — of The Sunflower. I am, however, also a member of Greek life. And this is my call to

LETTER TO THE EDITOR drop weapons. Our world has enough nastiness to attack school organizations via tweets. We’re just students. There’s no reason either side should take things personally. To the Greeks — a reporter reported the facts. There was bias. You disagree with the way

the author came at it. Okay! But you shouldn’t disavow all the other talented journalists who work at The Sunflower. They are not the enemy. To The Sunflower — the reactions to your piece shouldn’t be a personal attack. But it is, and I apologize. Rise above it, over the absolute pettiness and the attacks being pelted at you. To everyone on campus — rise over the polarization and pain you’re all inflicting. There’s far too much of that already. We’re so much better than this. —Kathlynn Short LAS Sophomore

TWITTER @sunflowernews INSTAGRAM @thesunflowernews

First Amendment

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

CORRECTIONS

CLASSIFIEDS

street speak

What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?

“My plans are to give my daughter her birthday. She was born on Valentine’s Day.” —ALYSSA SCOTT, creative writing, sophomore

“I’m actually going out on the 15 for Valentine’s Day, becuase I have school on the 14.” — DENIQ INGRAM, biology, freshman

“I basically plan to hang out and go out to dinner with my girlfriend. After, I’ll probably just work on homework. It always needs to get done.” — EDGAR RAYO, marketing, senior

“I think my plans are just to attend class then maybe go out to dinner with my girlfriend.” — JOSHUA SYMENS, pre-medicine, freshman

“I’m actually having like a Galentine’s Day with my friends. We’re going to go to Old Chicago and have a good time.” — RACHEL LACALLE, psychology, junior

Beautiful 3-4 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom house in Wichita’s best neighborhood. 30 and 26 yo housemates looking for a third! New hardwood flooring, common area furnishings, backyard, attached garage. Rent in $500 range, open to negotiation.

PB & J -E

We believe survivors.

We believe survivors. Love and support, Cathy P

We believe survivors

We Believe Survivors

We believe survivors.

Love you, Maddie McGill

We believe survivors.

We Believe Survivors We Support You

We believe survivors.

WE BELIEVE SURVIVORS

We believe survivors

We support survivors. With love, the Piancone family

We believe survivors.

We Believe Survivors We Love You We Support You

My name is Crispian Lynn Paul. My loved ones and I? We believe survivors.

This space is reserved for corrections. Spot an error? Call us at 316-978-6905.

WE BELIEVE SURVIVORS!!!!!

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THURSDAY, FEB. 14, 2019

Brinkley resigns; Rowell sworn in as student body prsident

SELENA FAVELA/THE SUNFLOWER

Newly sworn-in Student Body President Shelby Rowell listens to Maia Cuellar speak during open forum of the Student Senate meeting Wednesday. Brinkley resigned as student body president Wednesday morning amid accusations that he sexually assaulted Cuellar in 2017.

Sexual assault accusations lead to presidential turnover BY DANIEL CAUDILL

T COURTESY

Kenon Brinkley (holding sign) is pictured in this photo from the Walk-a-Mile event. The event is held annually campus to raise awareness for rape, sexual assault, and gender violence.

Brinkley accuser shares her story, intentions behind coming forward BY MATTHEW KELLY

aia Cuellar moved back to Wichita about a month ago. In an interview with The Sunflower Monday morning, Cuellar, the woman accusing now former Wichita State Student Body President Kenon Brinkley of sexually assaulting her in June 2017, said seeing familiar places around town brought back memories of her encounters with Brinkley. Cuellar’s published a blog post Sunday evening alleging that, after multiple consensual sexual encounters, Brinkley had unprotected sex with her, even though the two had discussed at length the importance of safe sex. Cuellar writes that she did not consent to sex without a condom. Brinkley has not responded to any of The Sunflower’s requests for comment. Cuellar said she will not pursue legal action against Brinkley. “(M)y goal is not to destroy his life, to take away the success he has found or to see his life collapse,” Cuellar wrote. “My goal is to ensure that others know what he is capable of and other consenting sexual partners that might encounter him understand what he has done.” Cuellar describes the encounter as a rape. “It took me over a year after the night of June 17th, 2017 to fully admit and recognize that Kenon Brinkley had raped me,” Cuellar wrote. “Not using a condom without the consent of your sexual partner is rape. SEE CUELLAR PAGE 6

WHAT LOCAL RESOURCES ARE AVAILABLE FOR VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT OR RAPE?

The Wichita Area Sexual Assault Center offers advocates who will help talk victims through their experiences, access to local resources that can act as a step towards healing, referrals for long term support, and more. WASAC is located at 355 N. Waco. WASAC’s 24-hour crisis hotline is available at 316263-3002.

THE COUNSELING AND TESTING CENTER at Wichita State

employs licensed psychologists and other mental health professionals who are well-trained in trauma response and who provide therapy as needed. All mental health services related to sexual assault are provided free of charge. The Center is one of only two places on campus. The Counseling and Testing Center is located in 320 Grace Wilkie Hall. Schedule an appointment at 316978-3440.

THE NATIONAL SEXUAL ASSAULT HOTLINE is a 24-hour hotline

that will offer confidential support from a trained staff member who will talk to victims about what happened, support finding a local health facility that offers services like sexual assault forensic exams, basic information about medical exams, information about local laws in your community, and more. Call the hotline at 800-656-3673.

STUDENT HEALTH SERVICES offers a

variety of health services to Wichita State students at little to no cost. Health insurance is not required to be seen at Student Health. Services include — but are not limited to — STI testing, counseling, and women’s health services such as pregnancy testing. Student Health Services is located in 209 Ahlberg Hall. Schedule an appointment at 316-978-3620.

hree days after Student Body President Kenon Brinkley was accused of sexual assault in a personal blog post, a new student leader has taken his place. Shelby Rowell, previously vice president, was sworn into office at Wednesday’s Student Government Association meeting following Brinkley’s resignation Wednesday morning. “I care about this university dearly, and have been honored to serve, but with a heavy heart I feel it is best for everyone involved for Student Government and I to part ways,” reads a portion of Brinkley’s written resignation, quoted in an SGA release. Prior to her swearing-in, Rowell addressed the Student Senate and a crowded gallery — the largest audience at an SGA meeting this school year. Many students were there in support of three women who shared stories alleging abuse by Brinkley. “We realize that this is a difficult time for the university,” Rowell said. “The student body is our first priority, and they deserve action.” “This present situation has highlighted some constraints in the [Legislative Journal] that we feel need to be addressed.” The Legislative Journal acts as a sort of constitution for SGA. It contains statutes and bylaws that dictate its operations, including the process for removing a member from office. Rowell said an ad hoc committee will be formed to review the journal for potential amendments, which will be publicized if made. Rowell was elected vice president of the 61st SGA Session alongside Brinkley in 2018 on the unopposed “Revival” ticket. The two were the first to run unopposed in a student election at WSU since 2005. A double major in political science and french, Rowell has been a member of SGA since April 2017. She joined as a liberal arts and sciences senator her sophomore year and has served on both the Educational Opportunity Fund and Student Fees committees.

ROWELL

BRINKLEY

“WE REALIZE THAT THIS IS A DIFFICULT TIME FOR THE UNIVERSITY. THE STUDENT BODY IS OUR FIRST PRIORITY, AND THEY DESERVE ACTION.” —SHELBY ROWELL, STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT

“He did what he thought was best for the Association and we respect that,” Rowell said of Brinkley’s resignation in an email. “Procedurally, it allowed us to move forward without pursuing a Senate Review Board case.” The Senate Review Board is a board that can be formed under the Legislative Journal for the review, sanction, or removal of an SGA member. As an association, Rowell said SGA has no “purview” over allegations made against Brinkley, but will listen to survivors that wish to address the senate. Despite the difficulty of handling allegations against Brinkley and his resignation, Rowell said it has proven SGA can “address hard situations with professionalism.” In her last year as an undergraduate at WSU, Rowell said she looks forward to seeing how SGA handles approaching topics such as the Shock the Future referendum, student fees, and student elections. Chief of Operations Matthew Madden was sworn in to Rowell’s former position as student body vice president. The SGA cabinet says the chief of operations position will remain vacant for the rest of the 61st session, but its responsibilities will be shared among sitting members of the cabinet. Because of a conflict with Madden’s class schedule, all remaining senate meetings of the 61st Session will start at 7 p.m. instead of 6:30. Student Advocate Kitrina Miller will host public discussions about resources for sexual assault from 3:30-4:30 p.m. Tuesday, Feb. 19 and 1-2 p.m. on Feb. 27 in RSC 264.

CULTURE

4 | THURSDAY, FEB. 14, 2019

BY AUDREY KORTE

f you live in Wichita and receive flowers this Valentine’s Day, there’s a good chance they came from Tillie’s Flower Shop. The owner of Tillie’s, Jennifer Barnard, says Valentine’s Day is the busiest day of the year for her business. “We send out 1,000 deliveries on the 14th. And we’ll probably send out about 600 on the 13th,” Barnard said. According to Barnard, the worst last minute offenders are men. “Guys usually wait until the last minute. Fifty percent of our orders come in on the 13th, for the 14th,” Barnard said. But Barnard isn’t complaining. She loves being busy. “I really think that our world just teaches you that you can be last minute. We just kind of track what we’ve sold in years before to prepare, and we run reports and look at trends to kind of gauge what we need to do to prepare for it,” Barnard said. Barnard said Valentine’s Day is the single biggest day of the year, followed by Mother’s Day and Christmas, but those two usually spread out over a full week. “For Valentine’s Day, people want it on Valentine’s Day, not throughout the week, Barnard said. “Sometimes people will have them delivered on the 13th too. But this is one holiday where you don’t want to be late.” This year will be the busiest day Tillie’s has seen in 6 years, Barnard said, because Valentine’s Day falls on a Thursday. Usually when the holiday falls on a weekend people go out to dinner or do other things but when it’s on a Thursday people go flower-crazy. Tillie’s Flower Shop has been around since 1876. It’s the second oldest business in Wichita. “It was actually my great-grandparents who started it. They came over from Germany and it started as a greenhouse. Tillie is my grandmother. When she took it over people would come to her. She liked the floral

VALENTINE’S DAY BY THE NUMBERS AT TILLIE’S FLOWER SHOP

600

# of deliveries the day before Valentine’s Day

1,000+

# of deliveries on Valentine’s Day

# of delivery drivers on Valentine’s Day

% of orders that come in on February 13th

for everyone else.” • “I wish I were a DNA Helicase, so I could unzip your genes. You’re the RNA to my DNA and I couldn’t be happier about finally finding you. Love, Hotstuff” • “Shit.” “We have really great customers who are on the ball. They order in January and then this week they’re calling saying, ‘we broke up. I need to cancel the order.’” They’ve also had people try to refuse deliveries because somebody sent flowers and the receiver didn’t want to get flowers from that person. “For us it’s a hard position. We basically say, ‘you can trash

them if you want’.” Barnard said. “It makes it kind of awkward.” Recently Tillie’s made a change in how they handle orders for fake flowers, after a disgruntled customer got upset with them about his order. “A customer came into the store and picked out one of our artificial arrangements. We carry a very nice line of artificial flowers and most customers can’t tell the difference between our artificial flowers or fresh flowers. He picked out the artificial arrangement in the store, so we figured he knew what he was getting.

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20,000

# of Roses Tillie’s goes through for Valentine’s Day

end of it and everybody would say, ‘oh let’s go get flowers from Tillie’,” Barnard said. The most popular Valentine’s day flowers haven’t changed much over the decades. “Of course the biggest seller is red roses. We bring in over 20,000 roses for Valentine’s Day.” Barnard said she and her staff typically see some crazy things this week. From apology notes, to suggestive cards — there’s a little bit of everything. “You just see all sorts of things in a flower shop,” Barnard said. Some of the messages that Tillie’s flower shop has been asked to include with flower deliveries are:

www.thesunflower.com

I wish

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• “I’m really sorry for everything I did.” • “Happy Valentine’s Day. I am hoping this plant can last as long as your patience has lasted for me.” • “Sorry the flowers ate your goat.” • “Today’s for you. Yesterday’s

We delivered it on Valentine’s Day last year. He called up on the 14th angry and furious that we sent out an artificial arrangement. We replied, “Sir, that is what you picked out in the store to send to your girlfriend.” He replied by asking, ‘Why would I send her artificial flowers?’ “He thought it was an example and we would send out fresh flowers instead. Now when a customer has chosen an artificial arrangement either in the store or online we always ask if they realize it is artificial.” Barnard said about 50 percent of the time they don’t realize when the flowers are artificial.

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A Gand-Wu love Story: Trish and Bobby Gandu love each other, WSU BY AUDREY KORTE

Wichita State has been a cornerstone of Bobby and Trish Gandu’s relationship. “A lot of our momentous occasions have ties to WSU,” said Director of Admissions Bobby Gandu. “We met on campus. We also were coincidentally engaged on campus.” They also were married on campus. But long before their wedding day, Bobby and Trish were co-workers and friends. “We both worked in the office together for a few years before we ever dated,” Trish said. “I was in a different relationship. He was in a different relationship. We just became good friends.” The two had overlapping friend groups. “We just kind of socialized together, but that was really it for quite a while,” Bobby said. After Trish got out of a seven-year relationship, she was single for awhile, and that’s when the opportunity for love finally knocked, Trish said. “I was trying to figure out who I was, and what I wanted. We just started hanging out more as friends and then it just kind of developed into a relationship.” Trish said those early days were full of fun and freedom. “We went out a lot to dinner, and to go see movies, and have drinks and hang out with friends. We made spontaneous trips if we wanted to,” she said. In 2011 Bobby and Trish were at dinner watching a Shocker basketball game in the NIT tournament, before the NCAA Shocker basketball successes. The Shockers won. The two were surprised and excited. “I was like let’s go to New York City and watch the championship. And right there we booked a flight,” Bobby said. In less than 24 hours they were on a plane to New York City to see the Shocker basketball game in the NIT championship against

“I WAS LIKE LET’S GO TO NEW YORK CITY AND WATCH THE CHAMPIONSHIP. AND RIGHT THERE WE BOOKED A FLIGHT,” —BOBBY GANDU, DIRECTOR OF ADMISSIONS

Alabama. The Shockers won 66-57. “We had quite a lifestyle before we had kids,” Bobby said. In addition to basketball games, the two have seen a lot of concerts including Jay-Z in St. Louis, Kansas City, Chicago and Oklahoma City as well as Beyonce and the Black Eyed Peas. But the biggest show they’ve been to was their wedding — and the opening act was their engagement. “We’d been talking about marriage and that kind of thing. We were at that place where we were ready to take that step and I bought the ring but she didn’t know when it was going to happen.” “One of the things that we had always shared was going to Shocker basketball games together,” Bobby said. “I arranged for us to have access to Koch Arena. I pretended like I needed her to come over to Koch Arena to help me with a project. She came and sat down at the arena and before she knew it a video of her and me started playing. It was just pictures, obviously memories of our moments together.” The song he had playing was “Meet Me Halfway” by the Black Eyed Peas, one of their favorites. “As the video was wrapping up I kind of appeared out of one of the tunnels and asked her to marry me,” Bobby said. “I was shocked,” Trish said. “I really thought I was going to a meeting. I had no idea what he was going to do. I was completely not expecting it at that time.” Bobby and Trish got engaged in December 2012 and were married in July 2013. Bobby said they had a large

friend group they wanted to invite to the wedding and they were trying to make money efficient decisions. “We shopped around for wedding venue and the reception venue. We ended up being married by the then University minister at the Marcus Welcome Center,” he said. And then Wushock made an appearance at their wedding reception. “I had a groom’s cake and of course I wanted to have WuShock on the groom’s cake so we had a baker bake the Wu. But I had to do a little something extra so I figured out a way to have Wu roll out the groom’s cake at the wedding reception,” Bobby said. “So much of what we do now and who we are is our kids and Bobby’s just such a great dad,” Trish said. Trish said she considers fatherhood and friendship to be two of Bobby’s strengths. She wants her children to know and appreciate those aspects about their dad. “The kind of person that he is with them (the kids) is the kind of person that he is with everyone. He’s a very good friend and he’ll always be there for you. That’s one of the things that I always liked about him.” Bobby said one of the things that initially attracted him to Trish was her professionalism. “In the office she had a great work ethic. She was respected by her peers,” Bobby said. “People knew that if she said she was going to do something she’d get it done and she do it well. I really admired that. And it is something that has carried forward to her being a mother. She’s very selfless, often she has patience with the kids when I don’t and she’s just very giving with them.” So when Trish was pregnant with their first child they decided to include WuShock in the announcement just to carry the Shocker theme forward with the next generation.

COURTESY

Trish and Bobby Gandu pose with by Wichita State’s “Love” sculpture.

I will always remember working hard for the betterment of the bigger picture. Knowing that because of my work Wichita State will become a better university for someone else in the future is what motivates me.”

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Nursing/ Pre-PA Sophomore

LEARN MORE BY ATTENDING THE TOWN HALL: Monday, Feb. 18 • Greek Life Town Hall - 5:30 p.m. Hubbard Hall, Room 211

visit wichita.edu/shockthefuture voteshockthefuture

shockthefuture_

CULTURE

www.thesunflower.com

THURSDAY, FEB. 14, 2019

y a l u f eauti afe

ELLA DOMINGUEZ/THE SUNFLOWER

Stop #1: Beautiful Day Cafe. Start off Valentine’s Day right with a delicious breakfast at one of Wichita’s cutest restaurants in town.

Valentine’s Day Guide BY JOHN DARR

re you ready to take your Valentine’s plans to a poetic new level? With excellent local sights and sensations all around Wichita, you’re sure to spark joy whether you’re with a loved one or riding solo. Here’s the guide to your perfect Wichita-centric Valentine’s Day. 1. BREAKFAST VENUE: BEAUTIFUL DAY CAFÉ

I’ll let you in on a little secret — Beautiful Day Café is not only the single most delectable breakfast destination in Wichita, but also the best-decorated restaurant in town. Imagine a Rainforest Café

ELLA DOMINGUEZ/THE SUNFLOWER

3. MIDDAY COFFEESHOP: VAGABOND

with all the cheesiness replaced with homegrown hippy love. The buckwheat pancakes are absolutely to die for, and you can’t go wrong with a menu that is consistently nutritious and delicious across the board.

This Delano staple is the single coolest place in town. Serving double duty as a coffeeshop and bar, you can turn up in whatever way you desire among cozily-lit tables and kaleidoscopic local artwork. The artsy locals are always hanging around, and outside patios in both the back and front of the establishment allow for great open-air socializing.

2. SHOPPING DESTINATION: THE SPICE MERCHANT

Welcome back the childlike wonder of a day in the toy store, but this time, with an appropriate college-age twist. The Spice Merchant has a magnificent selection of magical items from fresh-roasted coffee beans to hot sauces. Rarely is a local staple so expansive in its merchandise. The smells in the store alone are worth the trip.

4. AFTERNOON STROLL: KEEPER OF THE PLAINS

Wichita’s most iconic landmark is located near delightful riverside pathways to stroll with your loved one. ICT imagery simply doesn’t get better than the downstream views you’ll catch

ELLA DOMINGUEZ/THE SUNFLOWER

Stop #2: The Spice Merchant. Well known for Stop #3: The Vagabond. This bar meets their expansive selection of spices, sweets, and coffeeshop in the Delano district is perfect for delectable treats, The Spice Merchant is the cozying up to a cup and a cuddle. perfect stop for a Valentine’s Day full of surprises.

from the bridge and the skyline vistas you can nab from the west side of the river. Do yourself a favor and take a trip to the monument anytime during the day. Sometimes, the most obvious tourist location is a must-see for a reason. 5. SUNSET LOCATION: GREAT PLAINS NATURE CENTER

An oasis of wildlife and vistas in Wichita, the Great Plains Nature Center can’t be topped. You’ll find much to love along the park’s winding trails, whether it’s a twisting rivewrbank haunt or a sun-kissed open field. Bring a picnic during golden hour, and the magic of the moment will be undeniable.

ELLA DOMINGUEZ/THE SUNFLOWER

Stop #4: The Keeper of the Plains. Catch some fresh air and relax by the river with your valentine at this legendary Wichita monument.

ELLA DOMINGUEZ/THE SUNFLOWER

Stop #5: Great Plains Nature Center. Grab a blanket and a cuddle buddy to watch the sunset with at this quiet and cozy spot.

9 books to give your Valentine — or Galentine — this year Somehow, between 496 and 2019, Valentine’s Day devolved from a Roman springtime festival to a day when we all exchange the same worthless crap we picked up at Target. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Instead, consider giving your sweetheart a good book. I’ve done all the work for you and rounded up my top nine choices, all uniquely life-affirming and romantic in their own ways, without being saccharine sweet. Let’s get started. “YOU KNOW YOU WANT THIS” BY KRISTEN ROUPENIAN

When the New Yorker published “Cat People” in 2017, Roupenian rose from virtual anonymity to fame overnight. It was one of those stories that people couldn’t stop talking about — and for good reason. Roupenian continues to write evocatively about sex, lust, and love in her new novel. Bonus points for being on-trend. “THE NAMESAKE” BY JHUMPA LAHIRI

If you haven’t read Lahiri yet, don’t waste another moment. Her prose is crystalline, stunning, and perfect. In “The Namesake,” the

BECCA YENSER COLUMNIST

Pulitzer Prize winning author explores the struggles of two generations of an immigrant Indian family living in the United States. Touching on themes of family and self-discovery, this novel will break your heart. “MOUTHGUARD” BY SADIE DUPUIS

Sometimes you need to be reminded of self-love, inner reflection, and the journey towards becoming who you are. This collection of poems, often described as “magical,” might help you love yourself this Valentine’s Day. “CRAZY BRAVE: A MEMOIR” BY JOY HARJO

Insightful and inspiring, Harjo

reflects on her journey towards becoming one of America’s finest voices. Her writing is poetic and honest. She roots the memoir within her tribal upbringing, writing truthfully about her own abusive past. This book is ultimately uplifting — a celebration of finding oneself and rising above challenges. Apparently, Harjo took 14 years to write this book. It was well worth the wait.

noble love in their hearts. Brown’s writing has been compared to that of Southern Gothic superstars Harry Crews and Barry Hannah. If your loved one enjoys old-fashioned storytelling, look no further. “ON THE COME UP” BY ANGIE THOMAS

“HOW TO LOVE” BY THICH NHAT HANH

Disclaimer: I have this book and refer to it like a car manual. It’s a thoughtful, adorable, pocket-sized book with gems of wisdom from the Vietnamese Buddhist monk who first claimed fame with “The Miracle of Mindfulness” in 1975. “How to Love” is practical and inspiring. Plus, it has a cute cover. So sue me. “JUST KIDS” BY PATTI SMITH

Is there anything Smith can’t do? The legendary front woman for The Pretenders first proved her literary mettle in 2010 with this evocative memoir, breathtakingly set in a vibrant 1960s New York City. Gracefully weaving

COURTESY

together stories of her youth — including her relationship with the photographer Robert Mapplethorpe — Smith creates a world of wonder, innocence, and young love. “BIG BAD LOVE” BY LARRY BROWN

On occasion, love goes wrong. This can be very amusing if it’s not your heart being broken. Follow Brown’s crazy protagonists who make bad decision after bad decision, but always do so with a

This is a hero’s story — a young African American girl facing seemingly insurmountable odds, only to prevail in flying colors. In Thomas’ sophomore novel, we not only get a moving, heartfelt story, but also a virtual love letter to rap. It will leave your heart aglow. “GINGERBREAD” BY HELEN OYEYEMI

Oyeyemi, a prize-winning novelist, charms us with a captivating kind of modern fairytale. Told in Oyeyemi's unique and inimitable style, this novel explores a tussle for a family inheritance that ends up being a recipe for — you guessed it — gingerbread. We watch the Lee family grapple with human foibles: jealousy, greed, family grudges, and the mundanity of earthly woes. It’s an elegant study of what it means to be human.

SPORTS

6 | THURSDAY, FEB. 14, 2019

BLACK • 1-7

SEVEN-GAME LOSING STREAK

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WHITE • 5-3 TWO-GAME LOSING STREAK)

YELLOW • 6-1

FIVE-GAME WINNING STREAK

What’s the secret to Wichita State’s winning streak? BY MARSHALL SUNNER AND EVAN PFLUGRADT

SUNFLOWER FILES

Former Wichita State star guard Fred VanVleet goes up for a layup. VanVleet now plays for the Toronto Raptors.

VanVleet sidelined with thumb injury BY EVAN PFLUGRADT

Fred VanVleet will miss at least three weeks with a thumb injury. ESPN NBA reporter Adrian Wojnarowski first reported that the former Wichita State point guard will wear a splint for three

CUELLAR

FROM PAGE 1 “Kenon abused my trust and made the conscious choice to not use a condom without my consent.” Meredith Osborne, WSU’s Wichita Area Sexual Assault Center campus advocate, said it’s important to use survivors’ terminology when discussing their experiences. She said that “rape” and “sexual assault” are not necessarily interchangeable terms. “‘Sexual assault’ is a broad term that refers to any unwanted sexual contact, where ‘rape’ is defined by unwanted penetration,” Osborne said. The legal definition of rape is more complicated. Alice Osburn of the Sedgwick County District Attorney’s Office said she could not comment on the alleged interaction between Cuellar and Brinkley, but explained what prosecutors must prove to convict someone of rape in a case where the victim is of legal age and not unable to give consent. “What we have to prove is that the person knowingly engaged in sexual intercourse, the victim would have to not consent, and there would have to be circumstances where she was overcome by force or fear,” Osburn said. She said there are many different legal definitions for various types of sexual assault that do not require the victim to be overcome by force or fear. Cuellar said she and Brinkley spoke explicitly about the importance of safe sex. “He told me that his fraternity constantly preaches the importance of safe sex and always having protection available,” Cuellar wrote. “We both discussed how stupid we thought it was not to use a condom. We agreed that condom use is a necessity.” “On his Tinder bio, he had a lot of things about how consent is important,” Cuellar said in her interview. “You know the phrase, ‘Consent is sexy.’ That was something he put on there and that’s something he posted on Facebook before.” Brinkley deleted his Facebook profile Monday. “He seemed so aware of rape culture and what consent meant and the importance of all those things, so it was like wow, he knows and he doesn’t care,” Cuellar said. She said that knowledge makes their encounter more problematic in her eyes. “To someone like me who is very aware of what consent means, it’s very black and white to me. You either consent or you don’t,” Cuellar said. “If you know you are embarking on a sexual encounter with pre-discussed expectations and those are breached, that’s it.” The night of the alleged encounter, Cuellar had purchased a room at the Candlewood Suites hotel in Wichita. She provided

weeks before the Toronto Raptors re-evaluate his condition. The AllAmerican turned NBA rotation player suffered a torn ligament in his left thumb, Wojnarowski said. VanVleet scored a careerhigh 30 points for the Raptors last week.

The Sunflower a digital record of the transaction. “I did want to have sex with him,” Cuellar wrote. “But I wanted to have protected sex. I thought that we’d made this very clear before. “I didn’t know what to do. I liked him a lot. I wanted to have an emotional relationship with him. I didn’t tell him to stop.” Meredith Osborne of WASAC said sex crimes are often committed by someone the victim knows “very well.” “That’s why it can often be so confusing for the survivor, because she did have an emotional tie to him clearly,” Osborne said. “It is a confusing circumstance, and sometimes it does take a while to come to terms with the fact that this did happen to me.” Cuellar said she wanted to have a relationship with Brinkley at the time, and thought he was single. She said she was later contacted by a woman who told her she and Brinkley had been dating since 2015 — up to and during the time Cuellar says she had an emotional and physical relationship with Brinkley. She said that because of her feelings for Brinkley at the time, it took her over a year to qualify his behavior as “rape.” “I used to struggle with it internally. I used to tell myself it wasn’t rape,” Cuellar said. “But if a girl came up to me and told me her story and it was the same story, I’d say, ‘Yes, absolutely that was rape.’ “It’s hard when you know someone on a personal level because he’s been through some shit and I can admire how he has become quote, unquote successful, but also, like, there’s a lot of people that were hurt in that journey.” Cuellar said she understands “the implications of a rape allegation, especially to a person who has experienced systematic racism.” “False accusations of rape have devastated the lives of young black men and men of color,” Cuellar wrote. She said she has come to the decision that she has to share her story. “I know it happened, so I don’t have to feel bad, I guess, in a way,” Cuellar said. “Him having such a high presence at this university is why I am fully disclosing his name and all the events which occurred with us,” she wrote. Osbourne said she is available to speak with survivors of sexual assault. “I’m here to be an advocate for survivors, so whatever they need,” Osborne said. “If it’s just emotional support — if they just want someone to talk to. If they want to work through a legal process just to see what that would look like, we can talk through that. Anything they need.” Osbourne, who is not affiliated with WSU, is on campus from 9 a.m. to noon on Tuesdays and 1-4 p.m. on Thursdays in Lindquist 301. She’s available by appointment but said people can walk in any time.

rik Stevenson wants a say in which jerseys the Shockers sport on gameday. Why? Because Wichita State has rolled to a four-game winning streak after losing six of their first seven games in conference play. And after a dragging start to conference play, Stevenson doesn’t want to rule out any factors. “We’ve got to keep wearing the yellows,” Stevenson said Saturday following the team’s 15-point win over Tulane. Stevenson doesn’t have to look

far to pinpoint the source of his suspicion. WSU has won its last four games with players wearing their yellow alternate jerseys. All five of the Shockers’ conference wins this year have come when the team wears the yellow jerseys. More so, since the early-season loss to Alabama, the Shockers haven’t lost a game when players suit up in yellow. Overall, they’re 6-1 in the alternate jerseys. What’s more shocking is that WSU has lost its last seven games when wearing white or black uniforms. When asked about who makes the jersey decision,

Stevenson was quick to answer. “It should be me,” he said. “I’ve seen it,” senior Markis McDuffie said. “Everyone’s taken notice. Sometimes, basketball takes some luck.” Coach Gregg Marshall has noticeably removed his glasses and opted for contacts, too, during the team’s four-game winning streak. He told reporters Tuesday that he’s “purposely misplaced” his glasses before the team’s last four games. WSU will resume play after an eight-day break Sunday. The Shockers hit the road, completing a home-and-away series with Cincinnati.

FIRST PITCH

Wichita State baseball opens its season at 7 p.m. Friday against Grand Canyon. The Shockers will play four games, including a doubleheader Saturday, as a part of the Angels College Classic in Arizona. Luke Ritter and Clayton McGinnis are two of four returning seniors on a team that lost 10 players to the MLB Draft this summer. Ritter is an American Athletic Conference first-team allconference honoree.

JOSEPH BARRINGHAUS/THE SUNFLOWER

Family Fun Day Saturday, February 16 | 1:00–3:00 P.M. Free Admission | Open to the Public

Bring the whole family for an afternoon of gallery exploration, games, and hands-on art making activities inspired by the artist’s ideas and materials featured in our spring exhibitions. Snacks and refreshments provided. Free and open to the public.