Ivory Buffalo the
A P RO F E S S I O N A L A N D R E P U TA B L E S O U RC E
GET YER SPECIAL HOROSCOPE READ BY THE WIZARD!! SEE PAGE 13
Why the hell are all the profs trying to make fetch happen????
REALLY SMART ENGINEERING STUDENTS DESIGN AI APP THAT DETECTS PROCRASTINATION
SEE PAGE 13 FOR ALL THE TEA
UH OH! U OF M DESIGNS NEW LOGO
READ MORE ON PAGE 5
Come on you know you want to
News
6 Editorial
10 Comment
Arts & 14 Culture
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18 Sports
20
Ugh
I’ve never played this
I <3 Pangea....................
Who even is this guy
Is that a real sport...?
The performative males are starting a stupid club. MATRIARCHY NOW!!!!
Yeah this guy from Assassin’s Creed is sick of the main character I guess
Guys can we please bring it back I really think it would solve everything
Sufjan Stevens is gay for Manitoba????
These nerds want to play ping pong in the Olympics
April 01, 2026
SINCE 1914
VOL. 112, NO. 29