Dear Body / 01 INTERVIEWEE
XIAOMAO Diagnosed with PCOS three years ago. Medical student. Her relationship with her body has been shaped not only by PCOS, but also by years of comments from the people closest to her.
When did you first realise something was wrong with your body? I missed my period for an entire month, and it really scared me. I had never been sexually active, so I couldn't understand what was happening. At the same time, I found it almost impossible to lose weight. After going to the hospital, I was diagnosed with PCOS. How did you feel when you were diagnosed with PCOS? Honestly, I felt relieved. For years I thought I just wasn't trying hard enough to lose weight. Finding out I had PCOS finally gave me an explanation. It wasn't simply because I lacked self-control—it was because my body was working differently. What has PCOS changed the most for you? The biggest change has been my weight. The hardest part isn't really the diagnosis itself—it's knowing that my body keeps changing in ways I can't fully control. Sometimes people assume I'm just lazy or don't take care of myself, but they don't understand what living with PCOS is actually like. Which part of your body has been the hardest to accept? My stomach. People have mistaken me for being pregnant because of it. That really hurt. If I had been thinner, nobody would have made those assumptions.
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Have you made peace with your body? In some ways, yes. I've started to think of my stomach as just another part of me. Sometimes, after wearing tight trousers all day, I see the marks they leave on my skin and I actually feel sorry for my body. It has carried so much. What has been the hardest part of living with PCOS? The illness itself isn't what hurts me the most. The comments from my parents have had a much bigger impact. They often criticised my appearance and the way I dressed. Those words stayed with me much longer than the diagnosis did.
Xiaomao / External voices
Although PCOS cannot be completely cured, Xiaomao gradually came to realise, through taking on leadership roles in the students’ union, that her abilities mattered more than her appearance. She has since begun learning to accept her body and live more peacefully with it. What she wants most is for women’s clothing brands to offer more inclusive and realistic sizing, and to be free from her parents’ strict control over her body and the way she dresses. Her story reveals that much of her pain comes not from the condition itself, but from the prejudice and judgement of others. 2
Dear Body / 01
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Xiaomao / External voices
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Dear Body / 01
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Xiaomao / External voices
What affected your confidence the most? What I truly cared about during that stage was the way my parents judged me. They had always had very high expectations of me. They wanted me to be slim, fair-skinned, attractive and academically successful. By the time I went to university, they could no longer control my studies in the same way. The most obvious thing they could still comment on was my body.
“Look at how fat you are now. How are you ever going to get married? Who would want you?” Did their comments affect your behaviour? Yes. When I wanted to order takeaway, I would remember what they had said and decide not to order it after all.
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Dear Body / 01
To s o m e ex te n t . B u t t h i s a l s o g o e s back to the previous issue. My parents’ expectations of me are so specific that they even extend to the style of clothing they personally prefer. When I wear loose clothes, they think I look even more pregnant. Because I am already overweight, loose clothing hangs from my chest and makes my body look more like that of a pregnant woman. Then they criticise me even more for looking fat.
You look absolutely awful in that. If I were wearing that dress, I would not even dare to leave the house. That outfit is so bad that you should not go outside in it.
The first thing they said was, 9
Something happened recently that left a strong impression on me. One day, I was going to a water park with my friend in Zhengzhou. We were in Luoyang, and there was only one suitable train, so I had to leave early in the morning, at around six o’clock, to catch it. I wore my favourite loose-fitting dress. When my parents saw me that morning, they did not say anything caring, such as reminding me to stay safe.
Xiaomao / External voices
How could you possibly choose to wear something like this?
How can you feel comfor table going out dressed like that? I really do not understand your sense of style anymore.
Honestly, most of the insecurity I have experienced in my life, in many different areas, has come from my parents.
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Dear Body / 01
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Xiaomao / External voices
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Dear Body / 01
And as soon as clothes are labelled “midsize” or “plus-size”, they suddenly become much more expensive—sometimes almost double the price. I think that is one of the most unreasonable things about the whole clothing market.
What I really hope is that Chinese women's clothing brands will make their sizing more realistic, instead of making the sizes smaller and smaller. Right now, I have to buy clothes in a 4XL or even 5XL, which honestly feels ridiculous. I’m 175 centimetres tall and weigh around 90 kilos, and my BMI isn’t even extremely high. But I can’t even fit comfortably into clothes from so-called “mid-size” or “curvy” shops anymore. They are often so tight that, after wearing a pair of trousers all day, my stomach is left covered in red marks. Sometimes when I see that, I honestly feel so sorry for my own body.
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Xiaomao / External voices
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ATE MY BODY Dear Body / 01
I HATE MY BODY
I HATE MY BODY
I HATE MY
IH
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Xiaomao / External voices
Y
Y BODY
HATE MY BODY I HATE MY BODY
I HATE MY BOD
I HATE MY
I HAT 16
Dear Body / 01
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I used to feel quite insecure about it. When I went to social events, I would feel embarrassed leaving the house without makeup. Even after putting makeup on, I would look in the mirror and still focus on things like my double chin. Back then, I was much more selfconscious and these things really bothered me. But over time, I started to realise that if you are capable enough and confident in what you do, most people do not actually care that much about how you look. Unless they are jealous of you, they might talk about it, but once you have really achieved something, their jealousy does not affect you as much anymore. What I actually cared about most at that stage was the way my parents judged me. They had always had very high expectations of me. They wanted me to be skinned, attractive and good at studying. But once I went to university, they could no longer control my studies in the same way. The most obvious thing they could still comment on was my body. Every time I came home during the holidays and I was still overweight, they would keep saying things like, “Look how big you’ve become. How are you ever going to get married? Who would want you?” Things like that.
Xiaomao / External voices
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Design & Research: Xingxi Lin Interview Participant: Xiaomao Photography: Xingxi Lin Typeface Arial Black Franklin Gothic Book Franklin Gothic Demi Franklin Gothic Demi Cond Print & bind: Printed in Glasgow 2026 Publisher: Published by Glasgow School of Art 2026 © Xingxi Lin 2026 Dear Body is an editorial design project exploring the lived experiences of women with PCOS through personal interviews and visual storytelling. All inter views are published with participants' permission. Names have been changed where requested. This publication combines original graphic design, interview materials, and adapted visual elements. Some collage images were sourced from publicly available online references (Pinterest) and transformed through editing, recolouring, texturing and recomposition for educational purposes.