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THECONTENTS
>> AUGUST 2013 <<
COVER STORIES AND FEATURES AND LOATHING IN RUSSIA 20 FEAR Anti-Gay Law Incites Violence
20
22
26
TO DEATH 22 BULLIED Carlos Vigil Takes His Own Life
30
BETTER OR FOR WORSE 26 FOR Marriage: Not One-Size-Fits-All WE THERE YET? 30 ARE Roadmap For “Finishing The Job” IT MATTERS 32 WHY Rob Smith On Trayvon Martin BRADLEY MANNING 36 BEING One Man’s Unimaginable Hell FIERCE 38 SASHA Sasha Gradiva On Putin’s Homophobia WITH WANDA 39 OUT Wanda Sykes Live in Long Beach STARR 40 SHOOTING Jeremy Lucido On The Art of Porn
ON THE COVER
MAIN PHOTO: JEREMY LUCIDO. PHOTO BY JEREMY LUCIDO. UPPER LEFT PHOTO: SASHA GRADIVA. PHOTO BY SASHA, LLC.
DEPARTMENTS 10 THE CONTRIBUTORS Writers In This Issue 12 THE LETTERS In Our Quest 14 THE TALK Raven-Symone, Jane Lynch 16 THE STATE Fired After Marriage
40
18 THE CITY Bars Dump Vodka 28 THE ROSTOW REPORT Pope Said What 34 THE LAW Bi-National Couples 35 THE FAMILY Happy Kids 42 THE EPIDEMIC Monthly Shots
32
44 THE CALENDAR Events, Groups
36 6 T H E F I GH T | A UGU S T 2013
38
39
46 THE FINAL FIGHT Depicting Trans
THEEDITOR
>> AUGUST 2013 <<
l THE FIGHT contributor Zinnia Jones was subpoenaed to testify last month at Private Bradley Manning’s court martial (“Being Bradley Manning,” page 36). The facts were simple, explains Jones. “I had spoken with Manning online for several months in 2009, after he took an interest in my fledgling YouTube channel, and long before his leaks of classified material. His defense team believed our conversations could show that Manning cared about his country and wanted to protect people, contrary to the government’s assertions that he had recklessly placed America and its troops at risk. And so I was called by the defense to testify about what Manning said to me: that he felt he had a great duty to people, and wanted to make sure everyone made it home to their families.” The full account of Jones’ experience testifying at the court-martial can be found online at: freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones. “It’s easy to forget,” writes Jones, “that at the center of all this furor is one person—a person like us, who thinks like us and feels like us and hurts like us. Having seen Manning in that courtroom, I can never forget this. Before, he was just a name to me, one of thousands that have crossed my screen. But Bradley Manning is not, and never will be, just a name.” “In that room, I saw a person who was in more trouble than I had ever seen another person be in, someone who had suffered and was still suffering the full wrath of an enraged, unforgiving American government. And that scared me, and I wanted to help him, to do anything I could to get him out of there, and I couldn’t. And that hurts beyond any words.” There are signs that Manning, who defined himself as gay at the time he interacted with Jones, later on considered transitioning. “I’ve talked about Manning as male, because there’s been nothing but silence and denial on this front from his family and his attorneys, and I simply don’t know how else to refer to him,” writes Jones. “But I do know what happens when you take one of us and lock us away for most of our early twenties, unable to access treatments like those he was seeking. It horrifies me, and it should horrify anyone else who truly understands what it means to be held hostage by our own bodies.” Also in this issue, Rob Smith writes about the not guilty verdict in the Trayvon Martin trial (“Why It Matters,” page 32). “We should care about the death of Trayvon Martin because he is not unlike all of the LGBT youth that we’ve lost too soon to this type of violence,” writes Smith. “Martin occupied a space that members of our community who also happen to be black men know too well. It is the space of being judged for who you are perceived to be before you get to demonstrate who you are.”
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stanford Altamirano MANAGING EDITOR Mark Ariel ART DIRECTOR Nadeen Torio MARKETING CONSULTANTS John Michael Gamban Paul Vallejo Ryan King Steven Lewis SOCIAL MEDIA Tim Kreslake WEBMASTER Nadeen Torio
GET THE FIGHT AT HOME Sent Via First Class Mail 12 Issues: $36 6 Issues: $24 Mail check or money order to: Third Step, LLC 611 S. Catalina St. Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 PUBLISHER Third Step, Inc. DISTRIBUTION Pride In Media The Fight Magazine is published monthly by Third Step, LLC. 611 South Catalina Street, Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 Telephone (323) 297-4001 Fax (213) 281-9648 Email info@TheFightMag.com
THE FIGHT MAGAZINE LEGAL CAVEATS By listing in The Fight Magazine, advertisers acknowledge that they do business in the spirit of cooperation, fairness and service, maintaining a high level of integrity and responsibility. Providers of products or services are fully and solely responsible for providing same as advertised. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for improper or negligent business practices by advertisers. Advertisers and their agencies assume responsibility and liability for the content of their advertisements in The Fight Magazine. Publisher assumes no liability for safe-keeping or return of unsolicited art, manuscripts or other materials. The Fight Magazine reserves the right to edit all material for clarity, length and content. All contents © 2013 Third Step LLC. All rights reserved. Content may be reproduced with permission. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for any claims or representations contained anywhere in this magazine and reserves the right to cancel or refuse advertising at publisher’s discretion.
STANFORD ALTAMIRANO Editor-In-Chief
8 T H E F I GH T | A UGU S T 2013
TheFightMag.com For Display Advertising, please call (323) 297-4001
THECONTRIBUTORS
>> AUGUST 2013 <<
ZINNIA JONES Zinnia Jones is an atheist activist, writer, and video blogger focusing on the impact of religious belief, political follies, and LGBTQ rights. Since 2008 her videos have been viewed over 7 million times. You can reach her on Twitter @Zjemptv. Her YouTube channel is at www.zinniajones.com.
ORLY LYONNE Orly Lyonne is a freelance journalist, focusing on issues related to LGBT equality, culture and art. Her passions include skydiving, community theater and vegan restaurants. Orly can be reached at orlylyonne@gmail.com.
DAVID HAKIMFAR Los Angeles based Attorney David Hakimfar received his law degree from Thomas Jefferson School of Law in San Diego. While there, he made the Honor Roll and National Dean’s List. Currently David Hakimfar is a Trial Attorney and Senior Partner of Hakimfar Law, PLC. He can be reached at: 1-888-789-PRIDE (7743).
PAULO MURILLO West Hollywood resident Paulo Murillo has been writing for gay media for over twelve years. He got his start writing a biweekly column called “Luv Ya, Mean It” for FAB! Newspaper. Visit his website at thehissfit.com, or friend him on Facebook.
ANN ROSTOW Ann Rostow writes news analysis columns for THE FIGHT and other gay publications across the country. For weekly LGBT News updates, visit her blog at: annrostow. blogspot.com. Ann can be reached at: arostow@aol.com.
ROB SMITH Rob Smith is an author, lecturer, writer, and LGBT activist. His first book “Closets, Combat, and Coming Out: Coming of Age as a Gay Man in the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Army” will be released in February. He can be found at www.robsmithonline.com.
1 0 T H E F IGH T | A UGU ST 2013
THELETTERS
>> AUGUST 2013 <<
IN OUR QUEST
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Dear Editor, Kudos to Will Walters for taking on San Diego Pride (“The Enemy Within,” THE FIGHT, Issue 30). We should not forget that our diversity as a community is what makes us strong. The photo of Walters in his leather gear was way less revealing than what many straight folks wear at the beach, or at summer events. The knee-jerk reaction of San Diego Pride officials was troubling, to say the least. In our quest for equality we need embrace all aspects of our community. Sandy Lowes, via the internet
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Dear Editor, Love, love, loved the Cazwell interview (“Guess Who? Cazwell,” THE FIGHT, Issue 30)! I am a straight, very gay friendly female who is absolutely infatuated with Cazwell. I read the interview on your site online. Can you tell me how I can obtain a print copy? Thanks in advance! Rain Theron, via the internet
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Dear Editor, The issue with Cazwell on the cover (THE FIGHT, Issue 30). I gotta have it! How can I get it? I live in the middle of nowhere. Not even a Barnes and Nobles nearby! Corey Taylor, via the internet [Ed. Note: Single back issues of THE FIGHT can be purchased for $10 an issue. Send check or money order to Third Step, LLC, 611 S. Catalina St. Ste 307, Los Angeles, CA 90005]
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Dear Editor, Homosexuality is NOT a “right” - it is a most serious crime, punishable by death in many societies throughout history. I’m not saying that is the way to deal with you people - however please be aware that ignoring blasphemies against the Lord is NOT Biblical. Name Withheld, via the internet
> WRITE TO THE EDITOR Email: editor@thefightmag.com Fax: (213) 281-9648. Letters may be shortened due to space requirements.
JULY 2013 | TH E F I GH T 13
THETALK >> AUGUST 2013 <<
THEY CALL ME ALEC BALDWIN
ANDERSON COOPER
HE’S THE SHERIFF IF A CONSERVATIVE “Why does #AlecBaldwin get a pass when he uses gay slurs? If a conservative talked of beating up a ‘queen’ they would be vilified.” —Cooper’s tweet calling out Alec Baldwin. Baldwin launched into a profane Twitter rant last month against Daily Mail reporter George Stark over a news report about his wife’s active Twitter feed during James Gandolfini’s funeral. “I’m gonna find you George Stark, you toxic little queen, and I’m gonna fuck you... up,” one of his tweets read. He later apologized for the homophobic slur.
“What I realize about [Cooper] is, everybody in media, they have a job to do. Anderson Cooper has a job to do. And that job is to try to reinforce his credibility in the gay community after the fact that you couldn’t get him out of the closet for 10 years with a canister of tear gas. Now he’s the sheriff. Now he’s running around writing everybody a ticket!” —Baldwin, to Howard Stern, regarding Anderson Cooper’s tweet regarding the actor’s gay slur against Daily Mail reporter George Stark.
“Being a lesbian isn’t a bad thing. So if you think I look like a lesbian, I’m not offended. You can call me MILEY much worse. CYRUS I’ve been called much worse. Being a lesbian is a compliment more than what else they call me.” —Cyrus responding to critics who think that her platinum pixie haircut is “butch” and that it must mean she’s a lesbian now.
DAVID CAMERON
BETTER TO GO
DON LEMON
JANE LYNCH
“It’s two people who decided it’s better to go apart than stay together.” —“Glee” star Jane Lynch on why she and Lara Embry, her wife of three years, are divorcing.
RAVEN-SYMONE
IT’S ABOUT EQUALITY
DEAL WITH IT “We—black men—are always reminded that we are black. And if we happen to be gay, it’s yet another reminder that we are different. So in order to keep our sanity and dignity, we embrace it, sometimes even laugh at it. I’m black and I’m gay. So what? Deal with it!” —CNN’S Don Lemon in an op-ed in The Advocate. 1 4 T H E F IGH T | A UGU ST 2013
I CAN FINALLY “I can finally get married! Yay government! So proud of you.” —Raven-Symone, who played 3-year-old Olivia on the 1980s sitcom “The Cosby Show,” coming out last month, in the tweet above.
“It’s about equality. But it’s also about something else: commitment. Conservatives believe in the ties that bind us; that society’s stronger when we make vows to each other and we support each other. So I don’t support gay marriage in spite of being a conservative, I support gay marriage because I am a conservative.” —UK Prime Minister David Cameron on why he pushed for marriage equality. Queen Elizabeth II gave her royal approval to Britain’s same-sex marriage bill last month, granting gay couples the right to marry in England and Wales starting in 2014.
JULY 2013 | TH E F I GH T 15
THESTATE >> AUGUST 2013 <<
KEVIN KRICK
PERSKY (L), BENCOMO
TEACHER FIRED AFTER MARRYING PARTNER > A California teacher was fired from a Catholic high school shortly after marrying his longtime partner. Ken Bencomo, 45, was dismissed from St. Lucy’s Priory High School in Glendora on July 15, according to the Huffington Post, on the grounds that his marriage went against the beliefs of the Catholic Church. He was an employee of the school for 17 years. Bencomo, who was head of the English department at the all-girls school, married his partner of 10 years, Christopher Persky, on July 1 after marriage equality was restored to California, reports The Advocate at www.advocate.com. A local paper, the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin, published an online article with a video and photograph of the happy couple after their wedding at the San Bernardino County Assessor-Recorder’s Office, which brought the ceremony to public attention. Students and alumni of the school, were quick to rally in support of their teacher. Abigail O’Brien, who graduated from St. Lucy’s in 2012, launched a Facebook group alerting the community of Bencomo’s dismissal, encouraging the members, which numbered nearly 1,800 people at the time of this article’s publishing, to write letters to the school and attend a protest march later this month.
MARIN COUNTY GOP SUPPORT MARRIAGE EQUALITY
> The Marin County Republican Party has endorsed same-sex marriage in one of the first votes of its kind in the country, reports The Los Angeles Times. “This is our opportunity to redefine ourselves to the people of Marin County,” said Kevin Krick, chairman of the local party. “We wanted to demonstrate that we are inclusive.” Local party organizations are autonomous, and the vote does not change the state or national Republican Party’s opposition to same-sex marriage. But the decision in Marin County
TRANS STUDENT DELIVERS PETITION TO GOV
ASHTON LEE. PHOTO: ABC7.COM
1 6 T H E F IGH T | A UGU ST 2013
> Ashton Lee, a 16-year-old transgender high school junior has more than 6,000 people behind him in urging California Gov. Jerry Brown to sign a groundbreaking piece of legislation that would expand antidiscrimination protections in public elementary and secondary schools to trans students, reports The Advocate at www.advocate.com. Earlier this month, the California state Senate approved the bill - the first of its kind in the nation - that would allow transgender students at public elementary and secondary schools to use the restroom, locker room, and play on the sports team that corresponds with the student’s gender identity. The state assembly already approved the bill. Ashton Lee told the Los Angeles ABC affiliate that the bill would allow him to “be a regular boy at my school.”
is another sign that same-sex marriage is gaining new support, said Gregory T. Angelo, executive director of the Log Cabin Republicans. Krick said his party’s opposition to same-sex marriage has been a significant obstacle to drawing new people to the GOP.
MAYOR VIRGINIA GURROLA
CITY CANCELS PRIDE PROCLAMATION > Several activists were arrested
in California last month for protesting a meeting of their city council, which voted to reverse a mayoral decree designating June as LGBT Pride Month. The Huffington Post reports that police removed the protestors from the council meeting in Porterville, in California’s Central Valley. The protestors were charged with disturbing the peace at the packed assembly, which debated the recent gay friendly declaration by the city’s mayor, Virginia Gurrola. The council voted 3-2 to rescind the LGBT Pride Month proclamation, and, instead, declared June to be “a month of community charity and goodwill to all in Porterville.” Mayor Virginia Gurrola, who voted to uphold the decree she made following the U.S. Supreme Court’s repeal of Proposition 8, said that she still stands behind the bill. “We should welcome groups into our community,” Gurrola told the Huffington Post.
AUG UST 2013 | T H E F I GH T 17
THECITY BY PAULO MURILLO
WEHO BARS DUMP RUSSIAN VODKA l Council member John Duran and WeHo bar owners from Micky’s, Revolver, and Club Eleven held a Stolichnaya Vodka dumping demonstration this month to protest recent anti-gay laws that were passed in Russia. “We can’t just stand by watching gay teenagers getting beaten,” Duran told the press. Shortly after the demonstration, news reports revealed that Stoli is not Russian; it is manufactured in Latvia. LGBTQ activists from Riga, the Latvian capital, released a statement saying dumping Stoli will hurt their economy, making the LGBTQ community in Latvia vulnerable to the backlash. Sex columnist Dan Savage started the Stoli boycott. Bars in major cities like San Francisco, Seattle, Chicago and New York have already pulled Stoli off their shelves.
EARNEST J. DRONENBURG, JR.
SAN DIEGO CLERK TO COURT: STOP MARRIAGE! l Ernest J. Dronenburg, Jr., a county clerk in San Diego asked the California Supreme Court to halt the issuance of marriage licenses to same-sex couples last month, reports The Advocate at www.advocate. com. Dronenburg claimed that the legal requirement to marry same-sex couples is causing him to “suffer irreparable injury and damage.” Attorney General Kamala Harris responded, flatly rejecting Dronenberg’s arguments. “The filing offers no new arguments that could deny same-sex couples their constitutionally protected civil rights,” wrote Harris. “The federal injunction is still in effect, and it requires all 58 counties to perform same-sex marriages. No exceptions.”
“BUFF N CUT” IN WEST HOLLYWOOD l Health and fitness expo “Weho Buff N Cut!” returns to the West Hollywood Park this summer, August 17 from 10am to 3pm. The day- long expo is devoted to exploring active lifestyle options for local residents. Fitness trainers from the city’s top gyms will lead mini workout sessions in weight training, yoga, Pilates, boot camp, mixed martial arts and more. As part of the event, Afghanistan veterans Alex Minsky and Mylee Yc will be presented with the Rainbow Key to the City for their commitment to healthy lifestyles in the face of adversity.
ANTI-GAY SLURS IN LONG BEACH LA PRIDE LOCATION CONTROVERSY l Continuing problems with the City of West Hollywood and local businesses could bring about a change to LA Pride’s location next year. Wehoville.com reports that some Christopher Street West (CSW) board members are so unhappy with the relationship between CSW and WeHo that there are talks of moving the Annual LA Pride march and festival from West Hollywood to Downtown Los Angeles. In response, CSW President Rodney Scott denied such conversations took place and that CSW has no plans to host LA Pride anywhere other than West Hollywood. 1 8 T H E F IGH T | A UGU ST 2013
l The Long Beach Police Department is seeking information regarding anti-gay slurs scrawled on a man’s car on the 1500 block of Ramillo Avenue in the Park Estates area, last month. “Fag” “Gay” and drawings of male genitals were found on the vinyl top of his convertible, Chrysler Sebring. Press Telegram reports that the incident is not immediately being treated as a hate crime as detectives try to determine the “true intent” of the vandalism. Anyone with information should contact Long Beach Violent Crimes at: (562) 570-7250. n
AUG UST 2013 | T H E F I GH T 19
FEAR AND LOATHING IN RUSSIA
GROUPS LURE GAY MEN ONLINE INTO MEETING THEM IN PERSON, THEN HUMILIATE AND ATTACK THEM ON CAMERA. BY ORLY LYONNE IN AN ABRUPT ABOUT FACE, Russian authorities now say that athletes and guests attending next year’s Winter Olympics will not be subject to the country’s stringent new anti-gay law, reports ABC News.
“The Olympic Games is a major international event. We need to be as polite and tolerant as possible. That is why a decision has been made not to raise this issue during the Olympics,” Igor Ananskikh, deputy chairman of the State Duma’s Physical Culture, Sport and Youth Policy Committee, told Interfax. His comments came just a day after Russia’s sports minister warned that athletes and spectators would be accountable under the law. The so-called gay “propaganda” law technically bans discussion and displays of “non-traditional” relationships around minors, but the implication is more clear. Under the law, it is illegal to even talk about homosexuality around minors or display gay pride symbols like a rainbow flag. Violators face steep fines and jail time. Foreigners face similar penalties plus deportation. The change of policy came amid international uproar over the law. It
fueled calls from activists in the United States to boycott of Russian products including vodka. Others called for a boycott of the games themselves. Anti-gay sentiment runs high in Russia. Petitions for gay pride parades in Moscow have been rejected and unsanctioned rallies are often met with physical violence. Police often ignore the attacks and detain gay rights activists. In recent months, a new trend of attacks has gained popularity on Russian social media. Groups lure gay men online into meeting them in person, then humiliate and attack them on camera. Some show youths being forced to drink urine, or having it poured over their heads. Others show young men being taunted with phallic sex toys, threatened with axes, and forced to carry wooden crucifixes. They post the images and videos online under a hashtag that translates as “Occupy Pedophilia.” n
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20 T H E F IGH T | A UGU S T 2013
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AUG UST 2013 | T H E F I GH T 21
BULLIED TO DEATH
AFTER YEARS OF BULLYING, CARLOS VIGIL TAKES HIS OWN LIFE. BY ORLY LYONNE A GAY TEEN FROM VALENCIA COUNTY, New Mexico has taken his own life after enduring years of bullying, reports The Advocate at www.advocate.com. Carlos Vigil posted a suicide note to his Twitter account on July 13, moments before he ended his life. “I’m sorry to those I offended over the years. I’m blind to see that I, as a human being, suck. I’m an individual who is doing an injustice to the world and it’s time for me to leave,” reads the note. “The kids in school are right, I am a loser, a freak, and a fag and in no way is that acceptable for people to deal with. I’m sorry for not being a person that would make people proud.” The 17-year-old’s parents “The kids in school say their son had been sufferare right, I am a ing from bulling since the third loser, a freak, and grade, but they had only been a fag... I’m sorry for aware of his situation for a few years. “We found out three not being a person years ago that he was going that would make through this stuff and we’ve people proud.” been trying to help him every day since,” Carlos’ father, Ray Vigil, told KOB Eyewitness News. “We realize he’s been going through it every day since he was in the third grade, that’s a long time for a child to hold that within himself.” The Los Lunas High School student was known for his anti-bullying advocacy and would often counsel other teens who were also dealing with harassment from their peers. He even traveled to North Carolina to lobby an anti-bullying bill in the state’s legislature. However, while he continually tried to help others, Carlos himself was being aggressively teased for being gay. “Carlos wanted to be accepted by all, when he only needed to be accepted by himself,” said Ray Vigil. Carlos’ parents have said his organs will be donated, as it was his wish to continue helping people, even in death. n For help with depression, suicidal thoughts, or coming out, please visit the Trevor Project at TheTrevorProject.org or call its Lifeline at 866-488-7386. 2 2 T H E F I GH T | A U GU ST 2013
AUG UST 2013 | T H E F I GH T 23
>> AUGUST 2013 <<
CHAMPION FIAT
THE ITALIANS ARE COMING RONNIE BOSTEK, STUDIO DIRECTOR AT CHAMPION FIAT: “WE ARE A PROUD, GAY FRIENDLY DEALERSHIP AND IT’S IMPORTANT TO ME AND MY STAFF THAT THE LGBT COMMUNITY FEELS COMFORTABLE HERE.” BY VICTOR MELAMED l VOTED “GAY CAR OF THE YEAR” IN 2010 BY LEDORGA, a group of LGBT car enthusiasts, the Fiat 500 continued to court the gay market last year with a 30-second TV commercial which included a young male couple with their baby boy. The effort seems to be paying off. According to Brett Berk, Vanity Fair’s gay car critic, the Fiat 500 is “the bedazzled iPod touch of cars,” adding that if you’re “on the lookout for a really good time ... this little car is just for you.” Other reviewers seem to agree with that assessment. “At the end of the day, the Abarth 500 (which gets its name from Karl Abarth, the legendary
“STARTING OUT AT A NEW DEALERSHIP LIKE CHAMPION, I WAS ABLE TO INSTALL MY OWN SELLING ETHICS ON A GROUP OF FRESH, YOUNG PEOPLE WITHOUT THE AVERAGE ‘BAD HABITS’ OF MOST CAR SALES FOLKS.” 2 4 T H E F IGH T | A UGU ST 2013
Fiat racer) is a total joy to drive,” writes Gay Mormon Pioneer (GMP) at gaymormonpioneer. blogspot.com. “The sounds it makes, the responsiveness of the throttle, turbo and steering and the exciting styling make it a grown-up toy car, something that just wants to play.” “The throttle is responsive and the clutch is progressive and easy to use, so pulling away from a stop is a no-drama affair, even if you’re a manpedal novice,” writes GMP. “The steering is appropriately heavy, yet lighter than that of a Mini Cooper’s BMW-like helm. I preferred the Fiat, because a small car should have light, responsive steering.” According to Ronnie Bostek, the very affable, very personable, and not at all bad looking Studio Director at Champion Fiat in Downey (gochampionfiat.com), Fiat has a long history in United States. In 1908, the Fiat Automobile Co. was established in the country and a plant in Poughkeepsie, N.Y., began producing Fiats a year later.
These luxury cars were produced long before Chrysler Corp. started in 1925. In January 2009, the Fiat Group acquired a 20% stake in US automaker Chrysler LLC. The deal saw the return of the Fiat brand to North America after a 25-year absence. The first Fiat-branded model to appear in the US was the popular Fiat Nuova 500 city car. “Like the Mini Cooper and Volkswagen Beetle, the Fiat 500 is a modern recreation of a classic,” explains Bostek. “More than half a million Fiat 500s of the current generation have been sold in Europe, spurred by 60 international awards, including European Car of the Year in 2008.” In retail sales for the past seven years, Bostek says he is proud of the environment he has created at Champion Fiat. “We do not believe in the high pressure pushy sales approach... Starting out at a new dealership like Champion, I was able to install my own selling ethics on a group of fresh young people without the average ‘bad habits’ of most car sales folks.” “Basically we want your readers to know that we treat everyone the same,” says Bostek. “We are a proud, gay friendly dealership and it’s important to me and my staff that the LGBT community feels comfortable here.” “When all is said and done,” says Bostek, “car buying should be fun, it’s a big investment! That’s our goal here. We are a non-commission based company so no worries about the typical ‘shark’ sales person. My staff honestly and truly wants to help.” n
JULY 2013 | TH E F I GH T 45
FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE MICHAEL LIBERATORE, LMFT: “MARRIAGE IS NOT A ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL PROPOSITION.” WHAT YOU NEED TO TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION BEFORE WALKING DOWN THE AISLE. BY MARK ARIEL AS MANY GAY COUPLES RUSH TO THE ALTAR—with the repeal of DOMA and Prop 8—THE FIGHT approached Michael Liberatore, an L.A.-based Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in nontraditional, sex-positive couples’ therapy and LGBT-affirmative individual counseling, to discuss monogamous versus open relationships, divorce, silver anniversaries and assimilation. WHAT ARE THE MAIN ISSUES SAME-SEX COUPLES SHOULD TAKE INTO ACCOUNT BEFORE TYING THE KNOT? First of all, I think we need to evaluate what marriage means to us. For far too long, our relationships have not been legitimized by 2 6 T H E F IGH T | A UGU ST 2013
the greater culture. Now that we’ve been given the “okay” by society, many of us will leap before we look. Simply because we never thought we’d actually see the day that we could leap. So, we need to explore with our partners how marriage will enhance and/or change our current relationships. For each couple, this could look markedly different. Some will marry for romance; others will look for financial benefits. We need to balance the security of a governmentally recognized union with the reality that, yes, over 50% of marriages in the general population end in divorce (over 60% for second marriages and over 70% for third), and that we gays are
no exception. Separating no longer means packing our Vuiton bags and hitting the road. We stand to lose 50% of everything we own in a divorce, not to mention the lawyers’ fees. Some couples investigate the value of pre-nups. Others find this unromantic and a predictor of doom. But the bottom line is, if we don’t fully explore what marriage means to us as a couple, we’re liable to be caught in what feels like a trap; a trap we didn’t anticipate in the heat of the moment. And we’ll become an unhappy divorce statistic.
IS IT MORE DIFFICULT FOR A GAY COUPLE TO REMAIN IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP THAN A STRAIGHT COUPLE? It depends what you mean by
>> AUGUST 2013 <<
DISCUSS TOPICS THAT WILL AFFECT YOUR MARRIAGE BEFORE THE VOWS ARE TAKEN. YOU’D BE AMAZED HOW MANY PEOPLE LEAVE THIS TO CHANCE—MONOGAMY, CHILDREN, FINANCES, SOCIAL INDEPENDENCE. WE MUST BE WILLING AND ABLE TO BOTH HEAR EACH OTHER, AND CHALLENGE OURSELVES. AND REMEMBER THE GOLDEN RULE: YOU CAN’T CHANGE SOMEONE SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU PUT A RING ON THEIR FINGER. “committed” relationship. If committed means monogamous, then perhaps the answer is yes. But I take issue with that way of thinking. There are plenty of committed relationships that leave space for sexual exploration, either as a couple or as individuals. As long as honesty, respect, and trust are incorporated into the mix. Research shows us that lesbian couples have the most success with monogamy, followed by heterosexual couples, and then gay male couples. Why? As Dan Savage so eloquently put it recently on “Real Time with Bill Maher”... dick. Males are wired for intensity-based sex, and often have difficulty transitioning into intimacy-based sex. Not impossible, but a challenge just the same. Understand, I am speaking in broad strokes here, and not every male is restless sexually, but a great many of us hold a fascination for the new and unexplored. Routine becomes boring, and promotes the wandering eye. The reasons for this can be debated endlessly, but let’s just say it’s a combination of primal urges, biology, socialization, and arousal templates - how we learned to have sex. DO YOU FIND THAT GAY COUPLES, IN GENERAL, COPY THE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS THEY SAW GROWING UP, AMONG STRAIGHT COUPLES? IF NOT, HOW DO GAY COUPLES FORM THE TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP THAT WORKS FOR THEM? In many cases, I think we try to replicate those relationships, and I think that in some cases, this can be problematic. We are not straight couples, and we need to be sensitive to that fact. Marriage is not a one-size-fits-all proposition. Two men will face issues that a male/ female couple will not. Two women will contend with problems two men will not. But also, we need to realize that our concept of “straight marriage” might be stilted, too. We don’t know what goes on behind closed doors in Mr. & Mrs. Smith’s marriage. More important, we need to assess the baggage we could bring to our own marriages from internalizing our parents’ relationships. For example, our parents may have had a “fused” marriage, where our mother and father never went anywhere without each other. Mating with a partner who is independent, therefore, could feel foreign to us. We can internalize
this “differentiation” as not being loved enough. We need to find what suits us-both partners-not recapitulate our parents’ marriage dynamic. And how do we figure out what fits for us as a couple? One word: communication. Discuss topics that will affect your marriage before the vows are taken. You’d be amazed how many people leave this to chance monogamy, children, finances, social independence. We must be willing and able to both hear each other, and challenge ourselves. And to remember the golden rule: you can’t change someone simply because you put a ring on their finger. You can learn to compromise, but a behavior overhaul doesn’t occur magically by being pronounced “husband and husband.” SOME FEEL THAT AN “OPEN” RELATIONSHIP IS “LESS RELATIONSHIP LIKE” THAN A MONOGAMOUS ONE. DO YOU AGREE? I do not agree. I believe there is value in any relationship that brings happiness to both participants. I know of couples who
have celebrated silver anniversaries that could not have survived two years without an “open” arrangement. I also know of couples who value monogamy above all else, and have been blissfully exclusive for decades. One relationship does not trump the other. What matters is that both partners are on the same page without threat or coercion. For some couples, sex without love is no more meaningful than going bowling with a friend, for others absolute monogamy equals devotion. I personally believe that sex exists without love as easily as sex with love. It all depends on the meaning we attach to it. DO YOU FEEL THAT THE RACE TOWARD EQUALITY (GAY MARRIAGE, SAME-SEX COUPLES WITH KIDS, ETC.) IS ERASING GAY SUBCULTURES IN FAVOR OF ASSIMILATION? This is a loaded question. As a gay man of a “certain age,” I remember a time when being gay meant you were a sexual outlaw. And though it was far less validating socially, it was intensely exciting. Conforming to the societal norm means giving up “outlaw” status, but, it doesn’t have to mean complete assimilation. This is where we have a responsibility to ourselves to remain creative. Marriage and children doesn’t have to mean the most exciting thing in our lives becomes the new Maytag being delivered next Friday. Remember the things that bored us to tears about hanging out with our straight married friends? We don’t have to recapitulate that behavior. Having a governmentally recognized union doesn’t mean we lose our non-conformist roots. Or our sense of adventure! Michael Liberatore is an L.A.-based Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in nontraditional, sex-positive couples’ therapy and LGBT-affirmative individual counseling. His web address is www.mgliberatorelmft.com. n AUG UST 2013 | T H E F I GH T 27
THEROSTOWREPORT
BY ANN ROSTOW
CAN POPE FRANCIS SAY THAT?
> Say what? Did we really just hear the Popester tell the world that he’s in no position to judge people for their sexual orientation? Are there some hidden cameras in our living rooms preparing a montage of gay men and women with their jaws on the floor? Yes, I know that the Pontiff did not endorse our community, but still. He used the word “gay” rather than the increasingly unacceptable “homosexual.” And he implied that there is nothing wrong with gay orientation, only with behavior. As such, we are almost on par with such benign miscreants as adulterers, or maybe tax cheats. Anyway, it’s a far cry from the necrophiliacs and pedophiles and the other denizens of Pervert Land, with whom we usually reside. Microsoft is telling me that I’ve misspelled necrophiliac, but I think such a term deserves to be misspelled, don’t you? Editors! Don’t fix it! Don’t give it that kind of respect.
FRESH PRINCE
> What else is new? I’m kind of disappointed that we wound up with a Prince, only because some of us wanted a Princess to be third in line for the throne under the gender neutral rules of succession. Now, it’s nothing but Kings as far as the eye can see. That said, I’m happy for the adorable royal couple of course! I also read that something like 80 percent of British citizens would be supportive of the Princeling if he turned out to be gay. That’s nice. I hope he does. I suppose you know that Great Britain legalized marriage equality last month. One of the Lords who spoke in opposition wondered aloud what would happen if a lesbian queen got married and chose to have a baby through artificial insemination. Would that child be heir to the throne, he sputtered? And why wouldn’t it? I do think however that the royal family in this hypothetical scenario should give their sperm donor a noble title and a hunting estate in the country.
WEINER REDUX
> Now here’s a question I’ve posed in the past. Why is it that the media cannot differentiate between a generic sex scandal (affair with intern, visit to prostitute) and the bizarre behavior of Anthony Weiner, who seems truly mad? The man is missing several of the elements we associate with being a mature human being. He belongs on the pages of Freud’s diary; a megalomaniac suffering from a sexual short circuit rooted in a deep infant trauma or something. Get him out of our lives, please! It goes without saying that, in view of her amazing reputation, his wife’s loyalty is a profound mystery. Plus, is he not one of the weirdest looking individual in public life? He looks like one of Batman’s arch enemies, or maybe a space thriller extra who’s about to transform into an alien insect. Speaking of space fiction, why is it that all of the alien races on Star Trek are exactly our height and weight? Are all the other M-class planets the same dimension as Earth? Is gravity the same on Vulcan and Romulus? It seems so, doesn’t it? I may have mentioned this before, but it has bothered me for some time and bears repeating.
RIPPLE ME THIS
> In continuing marriage news, the Windsor ruling is having a ripple effect in Pennsylvania, where a county official has decided to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, based on the Supreme Court’s reasoning. The Keystone State does not have a constitutional amendment banning marriage, but it does have a statute on the books that limits wedlock to a man and a woman. It’s also one of several states targeted with a federal 2 8 T H E F IGH T | A UGU ST 2013
The Pontiff... implied that there is nothing wrong with gay orientation, only with behavior. As such, we are almost on par with such benign miscreants as adulterers, or maybe tax cheats. marriage lawsuit, so some believe it might be wiser to wait for a legal resolution rather than go rogue in Montgomery County. Still, the tides have turned since San Francisco issued licenses on its own initiative a decade ago. Those marriages, as many of you recall, were later annulled by court order. But maybe Pennsylvanians will have better luck on their shortcut to equality. After all, it takes years for a federal lawsuit to run its course. We saw another interesting ripple in Ohio, where two men have gotten a federal court to issue a temporary injunction against the Buckeye anti-marriage amendment. I’m not sure I really understand this, but why should that stop me from blathering on to you about it? As far as I can tell, one of the men is on his death bed, and the couple has asked the court to force Ohio to recognize their recent Maryland marriage on his death certificate.
I guess I hadn’t realized that death certificates had a spousal line-item, but it seems they do and I’m assuming it’s an important detail for the survivor to have on record. In this particular case, it’s essential because the two men want to be buried together in the dying man’s family plot, where legal strangers are not allowed. The ruling is limited to this marriage only, and will not in theory set a precedent for the state. But you know what? It does set a precedent. Maybe not a legal precedent, but a human one. And you can’t help but wonder what will happen in other Mean States as more of us marry, move and (cue: first three notes of Beethoven’s Fifth)... die.
IT TAKES SOME BALLS
> For the record, a man named Nick Gilronan won the “Smallest Penis Contest” in Brooklyn the other day. The 27-year-old UPS
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worker said, and I paraphrase, the size of your dick has no bearing on the content of your character, and I hope you will all join me in applauding the victor as well as his brave fellow contestants. Seriously! It takes some balls to get up on stage and display your tiny penis for the crowd. Speaking of being on display, I was reading about a gay kiss-in performed for the benefit of the Pope in Brazil. Later on in the same article, I learned that some of the women of Brazil were planning a SlutWalk on beach in Rio to catch the Pope’s eye. The SlutWalk features woman bared to the waist or lower, activist style, delivering a message against sexual violence. This news has been eclipsed by the Pontiff’s gayfriendly comments, but we still appreciate the effort. As some of us would have appreciated bearing witness to the protest itself. But Readers, is there nothing else that we can show today? New Jersey? We twirl a button. Time out. Or as my small granddaughters would say, “pause it.” The subject of Brazil has ensnared me in an Emily Dickenson poem that was one of many my mother used to quote, as a non-sequitor while making breakfast for example. Obscure, enigmatic, and strangely addictive, it goes like this in its entirety: “I asked no other thing. No other was denied. I offered Being for it. The mighty merchant smiled. Brazil? He twirled a button, without a glance my way. But Madam, is there nothing else that we can show today?” The reason that I undermined my allusion by bringing the poem out of hiding is that I just looked it up, only to discover that several links suggest that the middle line says: “the mighty merchant sneered.” Others say “smiled,” which is how my mother always said it. I think the harsh verb completely changes the feeling of the verse,
don’t you? I always found the mighty merchant benignly indifferent, irritatingly so. But I never found Him dismissive or disrespectful. Which is the real version? I don’t even care to find out, because I have already selected the real version for my own purposes. As I was about to say, I read that we apparently need three New Jersey senators and 12 members of the assembly in order to overturn Chris Christie’s veto and pass marriage equality in the Garden State by next January. Activists are “guardedly optimistic” that the votes can be wrangled by the deadline, but if this plan fails, we still have our lawsuit making progress in state court, where as I mentioned, Lambda has just filed a motion for summary judgment based on the Windsor ruling.
DESPICABLE THEM > Our column has come to an
end before I have had a chance to
weigh in on George Zimmerman and the six imbeciles who decided his fate. It’s probably just as well, because my emotional and intellectual reaction to this verdict could fill pages. Yes, I respect the jury system. Yes, I know the inept prosecution did Martin no favors. Yes, I know that the jury didn’t hear everything that we might have heard. Yes, Florida has their outrageous stand your ground law. Yes, it’s hard to rebut the idea that George Zimmerman felt threatened. But for all of that, it’s not hard to look at the plain facts and see that this man shot an unarmed teenager to death for no reason. Period! Did they get into a fight? Maybe! Who cares? Zimmerman was armed and had fifty pounds on Martin. His life was never threatened, and he can’t just “say” he feared for his safety and get away with it! The verdict was sickening and it deserves no parsing. It was horribly wrong. n
AUG UST 2013 | TH E F I GH T 29
ARE WE THERE YET?
“FREEDOM TO MARRY” RELEASES NEW ROADMAP FOR “FINISHING THE JOB” OF BRINGING MARRIAGE EQUALITY TO EVERY STATE IN THE NATION. BY ANN ROSTOW
OUR TWIN SUPREME COURT VICTORIES may have been short on explicit legal reasoning, but they have delivered a powerful shot of adrenaline into an already energized LGBT civil rights movement. That’s essential, because as Freedom To Marry’s Evan Wolfson reminds us, we cannot sit back and expect marriage equality to roll effortlessly over the country like a warm tide. We must continue to work for it, and we must work hard. I know it has seemed easy enough over the last few years, hasn’t it? But underneath the rising support have been sophisticated educational programs. Our legislative wins have been well organized by savvy political activists. The referendums we’ve won have been fought with technical acumen. And the arguments that have secured court rulings in our favor have been polished and perfected by GLBT lawyers for decades. Success hasn’t fallen into our laps. We’ve earned it. And much of it has been paid for with small donations from average GLBT citizens as well as larger gifts from our richer brothers and sisters and our allies. A couple of weeks after the decisions, Freedom To Marry released a new roadmap for “finishing the job” of bringing marriage equality to every state in the nation. Clearly, the end game will find us back before the nine justices. But before that day arrives, we must build “a critical mass” of equality states, and an “undeniable momentum” in public opinion. Without first meeting those conditions, we are unlikely to win our next High Court showdown. According to Wolfson’s group, the critical mass is at least 20 states, or roughly half of the American population. The undeniable momentum would be public support of at least 60 percent and rising. Freedom to Marry thinks we can meet these goals by the end of 2016, and indeed that seems doable. First, we can ask the states with civil unions to upgrade to marriage equality. With the demise of the Defense of Marriage Act, such states are no longer offering equal benefits to samesex citizens. Indeed, the Obama administration has bolstered this argument by making clear that the federal government will 3 0 T H E F IGH T | A UGU ST 2013
not recognize state-specific partnership regimes. We’ve always called them secondclass statuses. Now there’s no question that civil unions are discriminatory, plain and simple. New Jersey is a particularly blatant case, since the state Supreme Court has already ruled that same-sex couples must be equal to their heterosexual neighbors. Ever since the legislature reacted to that ruling with a civil union law, our side has argued vociferously that New Jersey’s unions fail to meet the test of equality that the court purported to enforce. We’ve been litigating this issue in state court for a couple of years,
but after the Windsor ruling, Lambda Legal has amended its complaint and asked for quick summary judgment in our favor. Do civil unions provide New Jersey citizens with equal marriage rights? Hell no. But even in states where courts have yet to order equality, the case against civil unions is now clear. Those states are proliferating, and could upgrade to marriage either through court action or through political will. Second, several of the states with antigay constitutional amendments are likely to repeal those amendments if WE MUST BUILD “A the electorate gets another chance CRITICAL MASS” OF to vote. That is what we hope will EQUALITY STATES, AND happen in Oregon next year, when AN “UNDENIABLE voters will be asked to reverse their MOMENTUM” IN PUBLIC amendment and legalize marriage. Third, another handful of states OPINION. WITHOUT FIRST MEETING THOSE where no amendment is in place CONDITIONS, WE ARE could legalize marriage equality UNLIKELY TO WIN OUR through the political process. Illinois has passed marriage equalNEXT HIGH COURT ity through the state senate, and SHOWDOWN. although we haven’t amassed the necessary votes in the house, they could be there by this fall. In the aforementioned Garden State, lawmakers have already passed marriage rights in a bill that was vetoed by Chris Christie. It’s not impossible that our side could override that veto with a two-thirds majority before next year. Finally, we have the federal option. These are the Prop 8-style cases we bring in federal court, arguing that the antigay policies of Your State Here
violate the U.S. Constitution. We already have federal cases in progress against the states of Hawaii and Nevada. This week, the ACLU filed suit against Pennsylvania, and announced plans to file federal marriage cases against Virginia and North Carolina. I think there may be another one or two floating around because I have lost track and become confused as our national litigation strategy has flowered over recent years. Marriage will be won or lost on the back of one (or more) of these Prop 8-type lawsuits. The Hawaii and Nevada cases are being heard together by the Ninth Circuit; the others are just getting started. As such, potential scenarios abound. What if the Ninth Circuit rules in our favor a year or two from now? If the High Court ducks an appeal, marriage could be legal throughout the western United States. If not, this will be the case that decides
our fate, maybe four or five years from now. What if the Ninth Circuit rules against us? Will we suffer defeat and try our hand in a different circuit? Or will we roll the dice and petition the justices? Would that be asking for trouble? Maybe so. You can see that in order to win the war, we have to win many if not all of the battles. I was just listening to an interview with Justice Kagan, who was asked to what extent the High Court pays attention to polls and public opinion. Our decisions are not based on polls, she said (and I paraphrase) but nonetheless, we live in a real world and we don’t close our eyes and ears to the changes in society and public attitudes. Surely, to return to the original premise, we cannot approach the Court for a final decision without the clear weight of public opinion on our side, as well as the clear sense that marriage equality is a dictate of our history and our constitution. n
AUG UST 2013 | T H E F I GH T 31
WHY IT MATTERS TRAYVON MARTIN OCCUPIED A SPACE THAT MEMBERS OF OUR COMMUNITY WHO ALSO HAPPEN TO BE BLACK MEN KNOW TOO WELL. IT IS THE SPACE OF BEING JUDGED FOR WHO YOU ARE PERCEIVED TO BE BEFORE YOU GET TO DEMONSTRATE WHO YOU ARE. BY ROB SMITH IMAGINE, FOR A MOMENT, that an unarmed 17-year-old gay teen was shot to death by someone who didn’t like the way he looked and found him suspicious. Imagine that perhaps his hair was dyed a different color, or his jeans were a bit too snug, or he walked with a bit of a swish in his hips. Imagine that he was returning from running an innocuous errand, and was stalked by someone who didn’t like how he looked. Maybe someone who didn’t like “those” people in his neighborhood. Imagine that somehow the gay teen and the armed man found themselves in a scuffle, and the armed man killed the gay teen with a single shot. Imagine the grief and pain that teen’s family must’ve gone through. Imagine that after a long, drawn out struggle to even get the armed man 3 2 T H E F IGH T | A UGU ST 2013
brought up on charges, the armed man is found not guilty of any of them, and released scot-free. This is only after the character of the gay teen is completely assassinated. Maybe the gay teen was going to meet up with a man. Maybe the gay teen liked hard rock music, or texted nude photos, or used recreational drugs, or engaged in any behavior that deviates from the image of him as the picture-perfect model of gay youth. Perhaps his name wasn’t Trayvon Martin. Maybe it’s something like Trevor Morgan. Would you care about Trevor Morgan? Did you care about Trayvon Martin? Perhaps you didn’t. Perhaps you were like an acquaintance
of mine, a gay white cop in his late 30’s in NYC who posted repeatedly on his Facebook page about how happy he was that Zimmerman went free, and how Trayvon Martin was a “thug” who most likely got what was coming to him. Perhaps you were like a lot of people in the LGBT community, who are too busy celebrating our recent huge wins for Marriage Equality to find time to care about issues that don’t “directly” concern us. Perhaps you do care, deeply, but since you aren’t black or maybe don’t have too many close black friends you don’t know how to engage about the sensitive issues regarding race in our country and within our community. Either way, you should care. You should care because it is only a matter of time before the injustice of the Zimmerman verdict is repeated with an LGBT victim. You should care that a man has been found not guilty of shooting an unarmed black teen because it is a reminder that, in this country, some lives are worth less than others. The lives of black and brown people are worth less. The lives of LGBT people of all colors are worth less. And sadly, the lives of LGBT people that are black and brown seem to be worth less than all others. Just a few months back in New York City, a 32-year-old gay man named Mark Carson was shot to death in the West Village. There were a few protests and a vigil or two, and a few NYC politicians scored political points with outraged speeches, emails, and a few free self-defense classes, but after a short time everything went back to normal. There were no Mark Carson foundations set up. His mother didn’t step onto the five-figure lecture circuit to talk about gay rights and justice for her son. There were no dewy and angelic soft-focus photos of him splashed all over gay media. Like Sakia Gunn, Lawrence King, Raymond Chase, and so many others before him, he was
just another black LGBT person gone from the earth and the general knowledge of the LGBT population too soon. We should care about the death of Trayvon Martin because he is not unlike all of the LGBT YOU SHOULD CARE THAT youth that we’ve lost A MAN HAS BEEN FOUND too soon to this type of violence. Martin occupied NOT GUILTY OF SHOOTa space that members of ING AN UNARMED BLACK our community who also TEEN BECAUSE IT IS A happen to be black men REMINDER THAT, IN THIS know too well. It is the COUNTRY, SOME LIVES ARE WORTH LESS THAN OTHERS. space of being judged for who you are perceived THE LIVES OF BLACK AND to be before you get to BROWN PEOPLE ARE WORTH demonstrate who you are. LESS. THE LIVES OF LGBT It is the space of being PEOPLE OF ALL COLORS ARE seen as everything that WORTH LESS. AND SADLY, is thought of the fearTHE LIVES OF LGBT PEOPLE some, scary, loathsome, dangerous black man in THAT ARE BLACK AND BROWN SEEM TO BE WORTH American society the moment someone sees your LESS THAN ALL OTHERS. dark skin. It is the space of being judged as a fully-grown man the moment you hit puberty, your voice deepens, and your muscles grow. It is the space of becoming so inured to the looks of fear from white women and gay men alike that it
barely registers the pang of sadness that it once did. Recently, a coalition of over 30 LGBT rights organizations signed an open letter standing in solidarity with the family of Trayvon Martin. They realized the connection between that teen’s death and the deaths of so many of all colors in our community who were profiled and harmed for being the “wrong” gender or race or sexual orientation. That is encouraging, because it says that after decades of division between LGBT rights organizations and the mainstream black community (brought to a stomachturning head with the overstating of the black community’s influence in passing Prop 8 in California), people in charge are realizing that there is more to be gained by working together than by standing apart. The Zimmerman verdict and the death of Trayvon Martin has been a source of division in
American society, yes, but it has also been such a teachable moment that we would be remiss to ignore the lessons that it presents to the overall LGBT community. We should care about Trayvon Martin because everyone matters. The black kid that makes your heart skip a bit faster because he looks “suspicious” matters. The baby dyke with the green hair, lip ring, and black lipstick matters. The transgender woman with the broad shoulders and bulky legs who may not be doing anything even close to passing matters. We should care about Trayvon Martin because we should not want to live in a world where anyone is killed for being nothing else but who they are. We should care because the next body that lays lifeless as a result of a random act of violence could be any one of ours, and we would want someone to care. Wouldn’t we? n
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AUG UST 2013 | T H E F I GH T 33
THELAW >> AUGUST 2013 <<
WHITE WEDDINGS & GREEN CARDS IMMIGRATION ISSUES FOR SAME-SEX COUPLES AFTER THE PROPOSITION 8 AND DOMA DECISIONS. BY DAVID HAKIMFAR l June 2013 will undoubtedly go down in history as a landmark month for gay rights in America. The U.S. Supreme Court weighed in on two closely watched cases: Proposition 8, and repeal of a key portion of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). These decisions extend federal benefits to gay and lesbian married couples across the U.S. and allow same-sex marriages to resume in California. In fact, gay weddings began to take place again in San Francisco just two nights after the decisions were announced. But the victory is especially sweet for the thousands of bi-national couples in America who now have a path open for legal immigration. Same-sex spouses benefit from the DOMA ruling if their marriage was performed legally, whether in a U.S. state or in a foreign country where same-sex marriage is legal. If you are an American citizen and you married your foreign spouse in another country you have two ways to bring them to the United States to live. The first is to obtain 3 4 T H E F I GH T | A U GU S T 2013
an Immigrant Visa for a Spouse of a U.S. Citizen (IR1 or CR1). An Immigrant Petition for Alien Relative (Form I-130) is required. The second is to obtain a Nonimmigrant Visa for Spouse (K-3). The application for the nonimmigrant visa for spouse must be filed and the visa must be issued in the country where the marriage took place. After the visa process has been completed and the visa is issued, the spouse can travel to the United States to wait for the processing of the immigrant visa case. If you are an American citizen, you may also bring your fiancé to the United States to marry and live here. You must obtain a Nonimmigrant Visa for Fiancé (K-1) to travel to the United States for marriage. An I-129F fiancé petition is required. If your spouse is already living here and entered the country
legally, then he or she may file for adjustment of status without having to leave the United States. In most cases, the spouse receives an Employment Authorization Document (E.A.D.) within 90 days. If your foreign born spouse entered the U.S. without inspection, they may have to apply for a green card abroad first. They may be able to apply for a provisional waiver in the United States, however. To obtain a green card, your marriage must be legitimate and will be carefully scrutinized by immigration officials. Marriages between U.S. citizens and legal permanent residents are circumspect, even between opposite-sex couples. Married couples must provide evidence that their marriage is bona fide, and not entered into just to grant the other person immigrant status. Factors that can help support the legitimacy of the marriage include if there was a wedding reception where the U.S. citizen spouse’s relatives attended, if the couple owns property together, if they file taxes jointly and if the couple has any children. If the marriage is less than two years old when the green card is issued, the Permanent Resident Card will expire after two years. The couple must then submit a form I-751 before the expiration of the green card so that the foreign-born spouse can gain a ten-year green card. If the couple divorces before the end of the two-year period, the foreign-born spouse must apply for a “good faith marriage waiver.” Immigration law is complex and can be difficult to navigate without assistance. Enlisting the help of a qualified attorney experienced in immigration law is a good idea to insure that the process goes as smoothly as painlessly as possible. n David Hakimfar is a Trial Attorney and Senior Partner of Hakimfar Law, PLC, and a member-attorney of Pride Legal. He can be reached at (213) 265-9252.
THEFAMILY >> AUGUST 2013 <<
HAPPY KIDS NEW STUDY: KIDS WITH GAY PARENTS HEALTHIER THAN PEERS. BY ORLY LYONNE l The world’s largest study to date exploring the impact gay and lesbian parents have on their children discovered that kids with gay parents are actually happier and healthier than their peers who have straight parents, reported the U.K. LGBT site PinkNews, and posted
on www.advocate.com. The preliminary findings from the Australian study from the University of Melbourne, further dispelled the idea that children do better with opposite sex parents, rather than being raised by a gay couple. The Australian Study of Child Health in Same-Sex Families, conducted at Melbourne University, collected data on the mental, physical, and social wellbeing of 500 children from around the nation up to the age of 17. The study also interviewed 315 gay, lesbian, and bisexual parents, asking them to complete the Child Health Questionnaire, which is recognized around the world. Preliminary results indicated that children of gay and lesbian parents were no different from their peers raised by straight parents in terms of physical and mental health, and in their interactions with others and their parents.
The study did discover, however, that children raised by samesex parents scored significantly higher in terms of family cohesion and general health than did kids raised by opposite-sex parents, according to PinkNews. But the study also revealed that children of gay and lesbian parents are more likely to encounter discrimination based on their parents’ sexual orientation. “One of our hypotheses is that this experience of discrimination does have an impact on child health and well being,” said Dr. Simon Crouch, the lead researcher on the study, who is a gay father of four-year-old twin boys, according to PinkNews. His decision to conduct the study was prompted by politicians claming that children did better when raised by a straight couple. n
AUG UST 2013 | THE F I GH T 35
BY ZINNIA JONES
HERO OR TRAITOR? GAY OR TRANSGENDER? THE FIGHT CONTRIBUTOR ZINNIA JONES, WHO TESTIFIED AT BRADLEY MANNING’S COURT MARTIAL LAST MONTH, ATTEMPTS TO PUT TOGETHER THE PIECES.
BEING BRADLEY MANNING 3 6 T H E F IGH T | A UGU ST 2013
IT’S BEEN WEEKS SINCE I TESTIFIED AT THE COURTMARTIAL OF PRIVATE BRADLEY MANNING, and I still don’t know how to explain to anyone what that experience was like. I don’t even know how to feel about what I saw there. Everything seemed simple before, and now it’s really not. It used to be easy to take a bird’s-eye view of the entire situation. I saw it as some abstract network of people, events, morals, responsibilities, laws, consequences, past, future, the connections between them, and some process of justice or historical consensus that would resolve all this in favor of one definitive outcome or another. It was easy to talk about what Manning did, debate the ethical and legal character of his actions, and calmly contemplate what should happen next. That was my attitude going into this—there were facts, they would eventually add up to an answer, and I didn’t need to give much thought to anything beyond that. For me, the facts were simple: I had spoken with Manning online for several months in 2009, after he took an interest in my fledgling YouTube channel, and long before his leaks of classified material. His defense team
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believed our conversations could show that Manning cared about his country and wanted to protect people, contrary to the government’s assertions that he had recklessly placed America and its troops at risk. And so I was called by the defense to testify about what Manning said to me: that he felt he had a great duty to people, and wanted to make sure everyone made it home to their families. The full account of my experience testifying at the court-martial can be found online at: freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones.
NOT ABOUT US Bradley Manning is a human being, and that simple fact made itself so apparent that day [in court], everything else ceased to matter. Looking at him, there was no way I could continue to see the situation as being about anything other than this one person and what they had gone through. Yes, there are issues of morals and laws and risks and harms that must be weighed up. I know this. I’ve said those words before. But none of it was important now. It’s not that I believe Bradley’s actions were right. It’s that I don’t even care anymore, and people’s shallow words of support or denouncement mean nothing to me. They have no idea what he’s going through—none of us do. To me, this isn’t about making him a figurehead for some WHAT I DIDN’T REVEAL AT movement, or a subject THE TRIAL WAS THAT MANof our little arguments NING OPENED UP TO ME IN over abstractions, or a PART BECAUSE WE WERE symbol of everything right BOTH GAY MEN. THAT’S NOT or wrong with the world. It’s not about my opinion WHO I AM ANYMORE, AND or the reporters who ask BY THE TIME MANNING CONTACTED [ADRIAN] LAMO, me for it. It’s not about the meaningless words THERE WERE CLEAR SIGNS I’ve written on needing THAT HE TOO WAS CONSIDto deter soldiers from ERING TRANSITIONING. leaking mass amounts of classified documents, something I foolishly believed to be the most relevant response to this situation. It’s not about finding an elegant answer to a moral puzzle or coming up with yet more rational arguments to support whatever I happen to be feeling at the moment. It’s not about what we think of Manning’s opinion of Guantanamo or the Army or their broken computers, it’s not about soldiers joking around and admiring a coffee machine in a trailer, it’s not about whether the trial lived up to our expectations. It’s not about us.
UNIMAGINABLE HELL For the past three weeks, my life hasn’t been about anything other than the fact that Bradley Manning is sitting in a cage right now while the rest of the world gets to walk away and move on. And I don’t think I can move on. It’s easy to forget that at the center of all this furor is one person—a person like us, who thinks like us and feels like us and hurts like us. Having seen Manning in that courtroom, I can never forget this. Before, he was just a name to me, one of thousands that have crossed my screen. But Bradley Manning is not, and never will be, just a name. In that room, I saw a person who was in more trouble than I had ever seen another person be in, someone who had suffered and was
still suffering the full wrath of an enraged, unforgiving American government. And that scared me, and I wanted to help him, to do anything I could to get him out of there, and I couldn’t. And that hurts beyond any words. Nothing I can possibly say about this will be able to give him what he needs and deserves. What he needs isn’t as sterile as some right answer that accords with ideals of freedom or justice or any other lofty concept that we speak about in preachy tones. He is a human being and what he needs from the rest of us is humanity. The only meaningful question is how we can live with ourselves while this is happening to a person. What I felt then and still feel now is a kind of guilt, unreasonable as it may be. No, I had no way of knowing what Manning was going to do—but if I had kept talking to him, everything could have happened so differently. I don’t know how I, still an immature child even at 21, would have reacted if he had spoken to me about his intentions rather than Adrian Lamo. I could never tell how serious he was being when he talked about his work, and there’s a good chance I would have unwisely leapt at the opportunity to see or touch or transfer any classified material he had been gathering behind the scenes. For such an excited, youthful lapse in judgment, I could have been dragged into this unexpected and unimaginable hell right alongside him. Or, if I were more attentive to the consequences of what he was planning, I might have tried to discourage him from doing something so reckless. I might have been able to prevent this. And if there was something else going on in his life that was distressing to him, maybe I could have helped him with that, too. What I didn’t reveal at the trial was that Manning opened up
to me in part because we were both gay men. That’s not who I am anymore, and by the time Manning contacted Lamo, there were clear signs that he too was considering transitioning—signs that any other trans person would see as indicative of someone who was so far into this, they weren’t likely to turn back.
HELD HOSTAGE I’ve talked about Manning as male, because there’s been nothing but silence and denial on this front from his family and his attorneys, and I simply don’t know how else to refer to him. But I do know what happens when you take one of us and lock us away for most of our early twenties, unable to access treatments like those he was seeking. It horrifies me, and it should horrify anyone else who truly understands what it means to be held hostage by our own bodies. Somewhere, in some other universe, I might have been able to stop all of this—or I might have ended up in a cell, too. But now there’s the unbearable discrepancy, the miserable and unyielding knowledge that I would get to walk out of that courtroom as a free person and he wouldn’t, that he’s locked in a cage and I’m not, that I got to transition and he didn’t... [Ed. Note: The day after a verdict was reached in the case, Jones submitted the following addendum.] While I’m relieved that Manning was found not guilty on the spurious and excessive charge of aiding the enemy, it’s disappointing that he was still convicted of numerous other charges which could effectively imprison him for life. As the trial enters its sentencing phase, I hope that any prison term will be minimal, and I trust that his defense team will do the best job possible to ensure that he is freed in a timely manner. n AUG UST 2013 | T H E F I GH T 37
SASHA FIERCE PERFORMING ARTIST SASHA GRADIVA, WHOSE UPCOMING SINGLE “COME WITH US” ENCOURAGES YOUNG GAY MEN AND WOMEN TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET, SPEAKS OUT AGAINST RUSSIAN HOMOPHOBIA. BY ORLY LYONNE SINCE THE FALL OF 2009, Sasha Gradiva has emerged on the U.S dance-pop scene with her stylistically unique fusion of pop and electronica. A Russian-born singer and songwriter, Sasha is an accomplished multi-talented performing artist who has received numerous music awards and nominations. Not only has she graced the pages of notable magazines including the Russian publications of Cosmopolitan, Maxim and Vogue, she continues to shock the entertainment industry with her quirky ensembles, mysterious charm and avant-garde look. Sasha’s upcoming single “Come With Us” Remix (out on August 15) encourages young gay men and women to come out of the closet. 3 8 T H E F IGH T | A UGU ST 2013
On the cover of the single, says Sasha, “I’m wearing a dress with the LGBT rainbow flag. I technically can be arrested in for that in Russia—because according to new anti-gay law there it’s against the law to promote the LGBT flag.” In an interview with THE FIGHT, Sasha says the recent boycott of Russian vodka in bars
“MY GRANDFATHER PUT HIS LIFE ON THE LINE, FIGHTING TO END HITLER’S ATROCIOUS ACTS— FOR WHAT? FOR THIS DISCRIMINATION AND VIOLENCE TO COME BACK WITHIN ONE GENERATION?”
around the world to protest the country’s anti-gay laws “may be effective in bringing about some level of awareness ... and may spark conversation, which could lead to added interest.” “However,” says Sasha, “it’s not enough... I really hope that countries will boycott the upcoming Russian Olympics games in an effort to stand up for human rights,” says Sasha. “Russia spearheaded the end fascism but now Putin is technically reverting back to the ideals from Hitler’s book... My grandfather put his life on the line, fighting to end Hitler’s atrocious acts—for what? For this discrimination and violence to come back within one generation?” n For more info on Sasha Gradiva, visit www.SashaGradiva.com.
OUT WITH WANDA
COMEDIAN WANDA SYKES LIVE AT THE TERRACE THEATER IN LONG BEACH, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2013, AT 8PM. BY ORLY LYONNE CALLED “ONE OF THE FUNNIEST STAND-UP COMICS” by her peers and ranking among Entertainment Weekly’s 25 Funniest People in America, Wanda Sykes’ smart-witted stand up has sent her career in many different areas. Last year Sykes made a return to HBO’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm” starring opposite Larry David. In 2010 she starred on her own late night talk show on FOX, “The Wanda Sykes Show.” In October of 2009 her second HBO stand up special “I’ma Be Me” premiered, with Sykes tackling topics like the first black president, gay cruises, being a new mom and aging. The special was nominated for two 2010 Primetime Emmy awards: Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Special and Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Special. Her first HBO comedy special “Wanda Sykes; Sick and Tired” debuted in October 2006 and was nominated for a 2007 Primetime Emmy for Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Special. Taped in Seattle, Washington, the performance covered everything from racial profiling to gay marriage. Openly gay, Sykes was born in Portsmouth, Virginia and raised in Maryland. She graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree from Hampton University. Her stand-up career began at a Coors Light Super talent Showcase in Washington, DC where she performed for the first time in front of a live audience. Sykes spent 5 years as part of the HBO’s critically acclaimed “Chris Rock Show.” As a performer and writer on the show, she was nominated for three Primetime Emmy’s and in 1999 won the Emmy for “Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Special.” In 2010 Sykes won a GLAAD award for promoting a good image of equal rights for gays and lesbians. n Sykes will be appearing live at the Terrace Theatre in Long Beach on Saturday, September 14. For more info and tickets go to: ticketmaster.com. AUG UST 2013 | TH E F I GH T 39
AT THE END OF THE DAY, WHEN THE CONDOM WRAPPERS ARE THROWN AWAY, IT’S ALL ABOUT ART. JEREMY LUCIDO ON MOVING FORWARD IN THE ADULT FILM INDUSTRY, PHYSICAL MEDIUMS AND SEXY ARTZINES. 0 0 T H E F IGH T | A UGU ST 2013
>> AUGUST 2013 <<
I OFTEN FEEL LIKE AN OUTSIDER WHEN IT COMES TO PEOPLE’S EXCITEMENT TOWARDS THE ADULT INDUSTRY. I AM NOT A PORN FAN OR EVEN A CONSUMER REALLY, SO I’M LOOKING AT THE INDUSTRY THROUGH A PURELY OBJECTIVE LENS. BY PAULO MURILLO | PHOTO BY JEREMY LUCIDO ARTIST, photographer, director, producer, club promoter, writer, publisher and pornographer—Los Angeles transplant Jeremy Lucido is definitely a man of many trades. “None of what I do was planned - and a younger me would never have foreseen this life,” reveals Lucido. “In fact,” says Lucido, “isn’t Los Angeles full of thousands of little boys from the Midwest doing stuff they would have never done if they stayed back home?” Lucido moved to Los Angeles in 1999 to further his education in photography with dreams of creating art. Headshots turned into shooting guys below the waist and eventually photography led to pornography. Currently a production manager for Randy Blue, Lucido, unlike most directors and photographers who simply shoot porn with a bang for the buck in mind, utilizes his resources to shoot hot men for his selfpublished “Starrfucker Magazine”—a sexy quarterly artzine, a throwback to vintage male pinup erotica. In an interview with THE FIGHT Lucido discusses the art of porn and the porn of art. HOW DO YOU MAKE THE UNINTERESTING LOOK INTERESTING IN PORN? I often feel like an outsider when it comes to people’s excitement towards the adult industry. I am not a porn fan or even a consumer really, so I’m looking at the industry through a purely objective lens. It’s not just two guys fucking to me. It is film, art, colors, video, sound, consumption, business and the creation of a product. Just substitute the word uninteresting for mainstream and you can see that the porn industry is not too different from the music and film industry. Instead of just relying on what will sell to the masses, we could enhance the adult art form with good quality visuals, filmmaking and beautiful cinematography. The problem is of course that my idea of an interesting, artful, gritty, sexual, hardcore film probably wouldn’t be a huge mainstream money maker. So, it’s best to find that middle ground while moving forward to a more modern and younger approach to the adult film. HOW DID THE IDEA FOR STARRFUCKER MAGAZINE COME ABOUT? Eight years ago I launched a blog about gay porn called Starrfucker. In 2010 I launched Starrfucker Magazine as a way to bring two parts of my life together-fine Art Photography and Gay Porn. I was a huge fan of printed zines like Pisszine, Kink and Pinups—The idea of helping
to keep printed media alive really appealed to me. Having the magazine also gives me a reason to shoot more hot men with complete creative control. WHY DO YOU FIND PRINT MEDIA APPEALING? I’ve always been envious of people like product designers, toy makers, sculptors and even painters because there is a physical medium you are working with. Something you can hold in your hands and say, ‘I made this.’ The idea for Starrfucker Magazine was to find a way for me to have that same feeling that other artists have while still staying true to my first love, photography. This magazine that I package, sign, wrap and ship all over the world, I made it. HOW HAS THE MAGAZINE EVOLVED SINCE THAT FIRST ISSUE? I feel that Starrfucker Magazine is only now in its early teen years and still finding itself. I like each issue better than the previous. It was Issue 6 when I decided that I’d be the sole photographer featured and it just has made it much more personal of a project for me. WHAT CLUB EVENTS OR PARTIES ARE YOU CURRENTLY PROMOTING? I currently throw two monthly parties at Faultline with my co-host,
Gabe Ayala. “Raunch” is the third Friday of every month and “John,” a leather fueled Edwardian themed party is the first Saturday of the month. I’ve also teamed up with artist and model Benjamin Godfre to produce a reoccurring event, called “Skin LA” which is a private nude art making and live Polaroid shoot event. All images produced from “Skin LA” events will appear in a zine of the same name. WHAT PROJECTS ARE YOU WORKING ON NOW? I’m currently shooting for Issue 8 of Starrfucker Magazine, which will be my fashion Issue. And I do use the word “fashion” loosely. I am celebrating the release of my first published photo book entitled Starrfucker which features the best of Starrfucker Magazine. I am also working on a solo art show for mid-October at the Lacen Project in Silver Lake. The show will highlight my portraits of local men as well as neverbefore-seen photographs. ARE YOU A STAR FUCKER? Only the hot ones. n The Starrfucker photo book is available on Amazon, starrfuckermagazine.com and retail stores worldwide. For more on Jeremy Lucido visit jeremylucido. AUG UST 2013 | T H E F I GH T 41
THEEPIDEMIC >> AUGUST 2013 <<
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l Johnson and Johnson and GlaxoSmithKline may have come up with an even more convenient way of treating HIV—not with daily tablets but with new monthly injections that at least one study suggests might be even safer, reports hivplusmag.com. Though it seems like most patients would prefer pills over needles, a new survey published in Nanomedicine has shown that 84% of HIV-positive people would rather have monthly injections. The side effects of injection (versus the newer, popular daily tablets) may be less as well, according to a new trial, especially for HIVnegative people who take pre-exposure medicine called PrEP for the purpose of reducing their chances of getting the virus. Daily tablets are a lifelong commitment and have been known to cause long-term damage to the liver, but in the recent trial of 40 HIV-negative volunteers who took the monthly injections, drug levels were sustained above a predetermined threshold that is considered necessary to control HIV for infected patients. These levels remained in tact as long as four months after the shot was injected, according to the results, reports hivplusmag.com.
SOYBEANS NEW HIV TREATMENT?
web | digital | print | soCial media | video | photography
contact ntoriodesign@yahoo.com www.ntoriodesign.com 4 2 T H E F IGH T | A UGU ST 2013
l A compound found in soybeans may be the key to a new HIV treatment, according to The Guardian. The compound known as genistein is found in soybeans and other plants, and it shows promise of becoming an effective ingredient in a less toxic treatment, reports hivplusmag.com. “Instead of acting directly on the virus, genistein interferes with the cellular processes that are necessary for the virus to infect cells. Thus, it makes the virus more difficult to become resistant to the drug,” said Yuntao Wu, a professor at the George Mason University. Still, this news doesn’t mean that people should start eating large amounts of soy products. Wu says that the amount of genistein consumed in eating soybeans or other plants might not be enough to inhibit HIV. In the meantime, the George Mason team is working to figure out just what that amount might be, and if any new drugs would need to be developed. n
IF SEX IS YOUR SPORT, WE GOT YOUR GEAR
8722 Santa Monica Boulevard West Hollywood, CA 90069 WWW.665LEATHER.COM Offer expires August 31, 2013
AUG UST 2013 | TH E F I GH T 43
THECALENDAR >> AUGUST 2013 << GROUPS
JACKIE BEAT. SEE SATURDAY, AUGUST 17.
ASIAN/PACIFIC GAYS AND FRIENDS www.apgf.org GAY ASIAN PACIFIC SUPPORT NETWORK www.gapsn.org LOS ANGELES GAY AVIATION CLUB Pilots, Flights Attendants, Mechanics. www.unusualattitudes.info CLUB NUR Gay Middle Eastern. www.clubnur.com GAY MEN’S CHORUS OF LOS ANGELES www.gmcla.org THANK GAYS IT’S FRIDAY STANDUP COMEDY Every Friday, 8:30 p.m. MJ’s Bar, 2810 Hyperion Avenue, Los Angeles. (323) 650-1503 GAY & LESBIAN SALSA Every Monday, 8 p.m. Little Temple Bar, 4519 Santa Monica Blvd., Silverlake, 90029. gaysalsanight@yahoo. com or www.facebook.com/gaysalsanight
SATURDAY, AUGUST 10
OC PRIDE Downtown Santa Ana on Fourth Street, between Broadway and Ross. For more info visit: prideoc.com. For the second year, OC Pride is presented free to the public. Grammy-nominated producer, house DJ, and remixer Dave Aude and acclaimed vocalist Luciana will be among the performers appearing. SUNDAY, AUGUST 11
OC QUEER FAITH FORUM The Center OC, 5-7pm. For information, contact Brian S. Symonds, M. Div., at newqff@gmail.com or call (562) 674-8407. The Center OC will be hosting a New Queer Faith Forum. Men of faith, regardless of religious background, will meet on the second and fourth Sunday of each month to share their stories and help LGBTQ people explore their faith journey. All are welcome to discuss pain, rejection and spiritual enlightenment associated with their personal faith. FRIDAY, AUGUST 16
UPRIGHT CABARET AT GLEH Triangle Square, 1602 Ivar Avenue, Hollywood. For more info visit: uprightcabaret.com Every third Friday through Nov. 15, Upright Cabaret comes to Gay & Lesbian Elder Housing. Party past your prime (and maybe your bedtime) as hot recording artists belt the best of Broadway and decades worth of divas-all your gay favorites, aged to perfection. This Friday Raya Yarbrough performs. SATURDAY, AUGUST 17
WEHO BUFF N CUT West Hollywood Park, 10am-3pm. For more info visit: weho.org. The City of West Hollywood hosts “Weho Buff N Cut!”—a daylong health and fitness 4 4 T H E F IGH T | A UGU ST 2013
expo devoted to exploring active lifestyle options for local residents. FURR TRADE WITH JACKIE BEAT Faultline Bar, 4216 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, 9pm-2am. With the one and only Jackie Beat, DJ Jasten King, Dancing Go Go Bears and more. SUNDAY, AUGUST 18
BIG FAT GRUNT: EAGLE ALLEY LOT PARTY Eagle LA, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd (at Myra Ave.), Los Angeles, 3-9pm. DJs Chris Cruse, Ryan Jones & Euro Steve, The Eagle Alley Go-Go Brigade, free High & Tight Buzz Cuts by Adam Pardy, and more. MONDAY, AUGUST 26
WOMEN’S EQUALITY DAY West Hollywood Park Public Meeting Room, Council Chambers And Auto Court, 625 N. San Vicente Boulevard, 6-9pm. For more info visit: weho.org. The City of West Hollywood’s Women’s Advisory Board will celebrate Women’s Equality Day with A Night In Herstory! - a special celebration commemorating both the board’s 20 years of service to the West Hollywood community and the 93rd anniversary of the 19th amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which granted women the right to vote in the United States. SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 14
WANDA SYKES LIVE Terrace Theater, Long Beach, 8pm. For more info visit: ticketmaster.com. Called “one of the funniest stand-up comics” by her peers and ranking among Entertainment Weekly’s 25 Funniest People in America, openly gay Wanda Sykes’ smart-witted stand up comes to Long Beach for one night only.
GAY TRAFFIC SCHOOL Third Tuesday and Wednesday of every month, 6-10 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place, Los Angeles 90038. 1-800-Gay-4-You or www.laglc.org POP LUCK CLUB Second Sunday of every month, 11 a.m. Locations vary. Los Angeles based organization for Gay Dads, Prospective Dads, and their families. www.popluckclub.org PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month, at the Gay & Lesbian Center. RSVP to Dennis@malecare.org or call (323) 860-7340. GREAT AUTOS OF YESTERYEAR The largest LGBT classic car club on the West Coast. www.greatautos.org LOS ANGELES PRIME TIMERS Social group for older mature gay men and admirers. www.laprimetimers.org LOS ANGELES GAY BRIDGE CLUB www.communityvisions.org/IAGLBC LOS ANGELES GAY/LESBIAN SCIENTISTS www.lagls.org LOS ANGELES GAY FOR GOOD Gays making a commitment to volunteer for social welfare and environmental service projects. www.gayforgood.org LOS ANGELES GAY NATURISM California Men Enjoying Naturism. cmen.info BI-OSPHERE P.O.V. Every 2nd Wednesday, 8-9:30 p.m., The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Topic-driven discussion for women and men who identify as, or are exploring bisexuality. MEN’S SPEAKEASY Every Tuesday at 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. Fun, alternative space for gay and bisexual men to meet and make new friends. LGBT BOOK CLUB First Wednesday of each month, 7:30-9:30 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302, M-F between 6-9 p.m. USC LAMBDA LGBT ALUMNI ASSOCIATION alumnigroups.usc.edu/lambda/ LOS ANGELES BLACK PRIDE www.myblackpridela.com GREATER PASADENA AID FUND www.greaterpasadenaaidfund.org POSITIVE IMAGES WORKSHOP Every Monday, from 7-9 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. If you’re looking for
> EMAIL YOUR EVENT OR GROUP TO ways to deal with HIV, the Live Life Better Workshop can help you learn coping skills, build a support system, and work toward your health goals. An RSVP is required. For more information or to reserve your place, call (323) 860-7321. The e-mail contact is positiveimages@lagaycenter.org. TRANSGENDER PERCEPTIONS Every Friday, 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Social networking group offers a safe and welcoming opportunity for people of any age and gender identity to learn from others and to share experiences. GET CENTERED Meditation Class. Every Saturday, 10-11 a.m., $10. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd. Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7300. SENIORS SERVICES Ongoing, The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7359. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SUPPORT Ongoing, L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd., Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-5806. MPOWERMENT WEEKLY WORKSHOPS Tuesdays and fridays, 6 p.m. APLA, 3550 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 300, Los Angeles. More info: Donta Morrison, tel: (213) 2011561. For young gay men of color—ages 18 thru 24—looking for a safe place to hang out. “Each week offers a great opportunity to vent, laugh, make friends, and simply celebrate who you are.” SUPPORT FOR HIV-POSITIVE WOMEN Second and fourth wednesdays, 7 p.m. The David Geffen Center, 611 south Kingsley Dr., Los Angeles. More info: call Women At Risk at (310) 204-1046. SOCAL SOCIAL CLUB For more info: www.Socalsocialclub.com. Southern California’s social & business network for lgbt professionals. 12 STEP GROUPS
editor@thefightmag.com CRYSTAL METH ANONYMOUS Saturdays, 9:10-10:10 a.m. DEBTORS ANONYMOUS Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. MARIJUANA ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 8:15-9:45 p.m. Saturdays, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m. SEXUAL COMPULSIVES ANONYMOUS Mondays, 8-9 p.m. Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. Wednesdays, 8-9 p.m. Thursdays, 8:15-9:15 p.m. Saturdays, 12:15-1:45 p.m. WOMEN’S NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Saturdays, Noon-1 p.m. SPORTS LOS ANGELES LESBIAN SOFTBALL www.lagaysoftball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN TACKLE FOOTBALL www.californiaquakefootball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN RUGBY www.eaglerockrugby.com WOMEN’S SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA GOLF www.womensgolf.org/wscga LOS ANGELES LESBIAN POKER www.lalpg.com LOS ANGELES WOMEN ON A ROLL Luncheons, Comedy Nights, and Conversation Groups. www.womenonaroll.com
>> AUGUST 2013 << www.sagala.org V.O.I.L.A. Volleyball. www.lagayvolleyball.com GREAT OUTDOORS The largest gay outdoor recreational organization in Southern California. www. greatoutdoorsla.org GAY AND LESBIAN SIERRANS Camping, Outdoors, Hiking Angeles. www.sierraclub.org CHEER LA Cheerleading. www.cheerla.org
HOLLYWOOD UNITED METHODIST CHURCH hollywoodumc.org, 6817 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90028 HOLY SPIRIT holyspirit-la.org, 4201 West Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90029 UNITED UNIVERSITY CHURCH uniteduniversitychurch.org, 817 West 34th St., Los Angeles, CA 90089
LA ROWING www.larowing.org
DIGNITY CENTER dignitylosangeles.org, 126 South Avenue 64, Los Angeles, CA 90042
DIFFERENT SPOKES Cycling www.differentspokes.com Rides start in various locations in the greater Los Angeles area.
HOPE LUTHERAN CHURCH-HLYWD hopelutheranchurch.net, 6720 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90038
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BLADES Ice Hockey. www.bladeshockey.com LOS ANGELES FRONTRUNNERS Running and walking club. www.lafrontrunners.com WEST HOLLYWOOD SOCCER CLUB Comfortable, supportive environment for learning and playing the world’s most popular game. www.gaysoccer.com LOS ANGELES GAY SCUBA CLUB www.barnaclebusters.org LOS ANGELES GAY ROCK CLIMBING www.lalgbtclimbing.com WEST HOLLYWOOD AQUATICS Swim and Water Polo Teams. www.wh2o.org
LOS ANGELES GAY RODEO CLUB www.gsgra.org
WORSHIP
LOS ANGELES GAY FLAG FOOTBALL www.laflagfootball.com There’s also lesbian tackle football.
METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH mccla.org, 4953 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027
WEST HOLLYWOOD GAY RUGBY www.larebellion.org
BETH CHAYIM CHADASHIM SYNAGOGUE bcc-la.org, 6090 West Pico Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90035
LOS ANGELES POOL LEAGUE Friendly Billiard teams. www.lapl8ball.com
fccla.org 540, South Commonwealth Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90020
All groups meet at The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302 M-F between 6-9 p.m.
GAY & LESBIAN BOWLING LEAGUE www.tavernguildleague.com
KOL AMI REFORM SYNAGOGUE kol-ami.org, 1200 North La Brea Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90038
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Mondays, 6:10-7:10 p.m.
SAGA LA Gay Ski & Snowboard Club.
FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH OF LOS ANGELES
WEST HOLLYWOOD PRESBYTERIAN wehopres.org, 7350 W Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046 MOUNT HOLLYWOOD CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH mthollywood.org, 4607 Prospect Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027 IMMANUEL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH immanuelpres.org, 3300 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90010 ST. MATTHEW’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stmatthewsnoho.org, 11031 Camarillo St., North Hollywood, CA 91602 CHRIST CHAPEL OF THE VALLEY christchapel.com, 11050 Hartsook St., North Hollywood, CA 91601 ST. PAUL’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stpaulssm.org, 958 Lincoln Blvd., Santa Monica, CA 90403 ST. MONICA CATHOLIC COMMUNITY stmonica.net, 725 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA 90403 WEHO CHURCH wehochurch.com, 916 N. Formosa Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90046 ST. VICTOR’S CATHOLIC CHURCH saintvictor.org, 8634 Holloway Dr. West Hollywood, CA 90069 ST. LUKE LUTHERAN stlukelutheran.com, 5312 Comercio Way, Woodland Hills, CA 91364
For Breaking Daily LGBT News Visit
www.thefightmag.com
AUG UST 2013 | T H E F I GH T 45
THEFINALFIGHT
>> AUGUST 2013 <<
THE TROUBLE WITH DEPICTING TRANS PEOPLE IF THE MOST EFFECTIVE LIES ARE THOSE MIXED WITH SOME TRUTHS, THERE IS NO BETTER DEMONSTRATION OF THIS THAN TRANS DOCUMENTARIES. BY ZINNIA JONES l Transgender women are most commonly represented in two areas of media: comedies and documentaries. We’re nearly omnipresent in mainstream humor—practically any half-hour of Comedy Central is guaranteed to contain at least one joke about us, and almost all sitcoms and late night talk shows will eventually get around to making some sort of “tranny” references. In some instances, we’re shown to be hairy, hulking men in ill-fitting dresses, the very image inviting mockery. At other times, the “humor” comes from a cis man (quick lesson: “cis” means all you folks who aren’t trans) initially recognizing a woman as a woman, and reacting poorly to the discovery that she’s “really a man”—the notion that someone could take her gender history in stride is just unthinkable. Viewers apparently see no 4 6 T H E F IGH T | A UGU ST 2013
need to reconcile the vastly different assumptions underlying the immediately apparent man-in-a-dress and the indiscernible just-anotherwoman. We can be both repulsively masculine and yet feminine enough to satisfy the well-trained eyes of male heterosexuals, both deluded caricatures of womanhood and also stunning enough to seduce men who would never see us coming. A supposed remedy to these insulting stereotypes is provided in the form of documentaries about us, almost universally focusing on the process of physically transitioning—as cis people see it. Shots of women doing their makeup, putting on dresses, being wheeled into an operating room and having their bodies cut open are so cliche that they’ve become the subject of their own drinking game. These docu-
mentaries are presented as a factual corrective to the overt derision of comedy, offering cis audiences the apparent moral salve of compassion and understanding for trans people. Yet just as in the case of comedy, this is again filtered through cis people’s perceptions of us—cis writers, cis reporters, cis producers. It’s merely the other, more insidious side of the same coin. If the most effective lies are those mixed with some truths, there is no better demonstration of this than trans documentaries. The shows are just correct enough to avoid mangling certain basic facts about transitioning, while selecting and arranging these facts in a way that completely misrepresents what our lives are really like. These depictions purportedly exist to help cis people grasp who we are, beyond the comedic stereotypes and societal misperceptions. What they really do is reveal, in their subtle yet pervasive inaccuracy, just how poorly cis people understand the experience of being transgender. When you’re trans, it’s utterly fascinating to see how outsiders choose to describe you—and absolutely horrifying to realize that’s really how they see you. An unrelenting focus on the body is a unifying theme of the stories that others tell about us. Such a focus conveys to viewers that visible, physical transition is the central feature of our lives. Left unaddressed are the much more extraordinary, personal, and crucial processes of self-recognition and selfacceptance that we work through before we even arrive at that stage. While the camera zooms in on the blossoming of our breasts, it misses the revolutionary blossoming of confidence that comes with admitting who we are to ourselves, taking the step of living openly as our gender, or choosing to seek hormone therapy... n If you’d like to read the rest of Zinnia Jones’ article on trans representation in media, visit: thoughtcatalog. com/2013/the-trouble.
TM