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davidsonian.com Dr. Daria Ezerova explores post-Soviet Russia with innovative classes

Volume 114, Issue 4

September 26, 2018 Matthew Lebar ‘19 speaks in his capacity as CPE chair about political discourse

Introducing Restaurant Reviews: Michael Hall ‘19 samples the Davidson Ice House

What We Wear catalogues the best styles from Fall Fling

Students Mobilize for Hurricane Relief Efforts HOPE ANDERSON ‘22 STAFF WRITER AND WEB EDITOR

Mock drew a large crowd of students, faculty, and community members to the DFPH on Tuesday evening. Photo by Sarah Woods ‘21

Janet Mock Interviewed at 2018 Reynolds Lecture on Trans Activism

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BETSY SUGAR ‘21 STAFF WRITER

Janet Mock is a writer, TV host and producer, and advocate whose bestselling memoir Redefining Realness was the first autobiography written from the perspective of a trans girl.” For the past few weeks, posters with this tagline have been promoting the latest speaker for the Reynolds Lecture around Davidson’s campus. Mock is not only the author of the first autobiography accounting the life of a young, transgender girl but also the first transgender person to speak at one of Davidson’s main lecture series. Davidson College has three main lecture series: the Smith, the Wern, and the Reynolds. The Reynolds Lecture, which took place Tuesday, September 25th, is funded by the Z. Smith Reynolds Foundation. The Foundation is a family foundation that states it is “committed to improving the quality of life for all North Carolinians” through funding education programs, grants, and the Reynolds Lecture series to Davidson’s campus. Recent Reynolds Lecture speakers include Colson Whitehead, Alison Bechdel, and Ta-Nehisi Coates.

The Reynolds Lecturer is brought to campus by a subcommittee of Davidson faculty, staff, and students. Dr. Rose Stremlau, a member of the History Department, was the head of the subcommittee bringing Mock to campus. According to Stremlau, Mock was nominated multiple times. She explained that the process to find a lecturer began in fall 2017. The Reynolds Lecture series should bring an “intellectual who has created a dialogue with the public that is unique and of important concern,” said Stremlau. Mock is the author of two autobiographies, blogs on contemporary issues, writes a beauty column in Allure magazine, and has produced a television series, documentary, and podcast series. Across all of these mediums, she addresses issues of race, gender, and class. Her autobiographies are her most well-known works; they document her struggles as a poor, black, trans woman in America. Her first autobiography, Redefining Realness, tells her story of growing up in Hawaii.

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urricane Florence made landfall on the coast of North Carolina early Friday, September 14th. Since then, the storm and subsequent flooding have killed at least 42 people, according to The New York Times. Though Davidson experienced minimal flooding and power loss, many areas across the state have been devastated. Some cities received up to 35 inches of rain, and communities along the coast are still working to address the physical damage. Davidson held class as normal throughout the storm. However, Florence evacuated many other colleges and universities across the state. UNC Wilmington is the only public university still closed, but the school is tentatively scheduled to reopen on October 1st. University officials are working to repair damaged buildings, and note that the return of students is still dependent on road conditions. Ashley Frye ‘19 hails from Wilmington, NC. Her family was in a mandatory evacuation zone, but chose to stay in their home and, quite literally, weather the storm. Frye thinks there is a misconception around the accessibility of evacuation, even during storms as serious as Florence. Possible barriers to evacuation include access to a car and finances to pay for a hotel. “Something that my family took into consideration was that it would have been way too expensive to leave. They couldn’t justify the cost, and we were really lucky to even be considering that,” said Frye. Sheila Nunez ‘19, also from the Wilmington area, thinks some Davidson students trivialized the storm and the damage it caused many North Carolinians. “It was a little frustrating when people were like ‘oh, I hope school gets canceled for the hurricane,’

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Democratic Socialism Blossoms on Campus

KAIZAD IRANI ‘22 STAFF WRITER

ocialism first officially entered the American political arena back in 1912, when Socialist candidate Eugene Debs received six percent of the popular vote in the presidential election. Since then, the socialist ideology has fought an uphill battle in gaining the support of Americans, especially during the rise of the Soviet Union. Fast forward to 2018 and Democratic Socialism is garnering the interest of millions of Americans, including those on Davidson’s campus. Arianna Montero-Colbert ‘19, Will Thurston ‘19, and Lucas Weals ‘19 co-founded Davidson’s chapter of the Young Democratic Socialists of America (YDSA) this past summer. The YDSA is the youth section of the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA) organization, the largest socialist group in the country. The DSA is not a political party, but rather an activist organization that “fights for reforms that empower working people,” according to its official

website. “Historically, we felt that left groups on campus have failed to galvanize support in the same numbers than groups on the right,” said Montero-Colbert. “We identified a need for a hub for political education and action which starts with a capitalist state as the main target.” With the political success of 2016 presidential candidate Bernie Sanders and New York congressional candidate Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, it is clear that Democratic Socialism has been on the rise. According to the DSA website, membership stands at approximately 50,000 members. Prior to the 2016 election, membership was at 8,500. “Ideas like socialism and Marxism have been suppressed over the past 50 years. Up until recently, there has been a systematic removal of discussing these topics in classrooms and in political discourse,” emphasized Thurston.

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Arianna Montero-Colbert ‘19 of Davidson’s YDSA chapter Photo by Emma Brentjens‘21

News

Davidson Welcomes Dynamic Professor

JULIA KNOERR ‘21 STAFF WRITER

hile Russian Studies professor Roman Utkin’s departure saddened many students last year, the department has responded with another vibrant force. Dr. Daria Ezerova is already starting to gain a student following with interdisciplinary course offerings on 20th century and contemporary Russian culture, literature, and film. Ezerova grew up in Russia after the Soviet Union’s collapse and identifies her interests in Russian culture and society as key motivators for joining academia. However, the moment she realized she wanted to pursue her Ph.D. came while working at another small liberal arts college as a year-long language instructor. Going on to a Ph.D. program at Yale University, Ezerova joined a nurturing department, developed a strong value for mentorship, and wrote her dissertation, “Derelict Features: The Spaces of Socialism in Contemporary Russian Literature and Film.” Last spring, Ezerova visited Davidson to interview and found a welcoming community that drew her in. Commenting on students’ questions after her talk, she noted, “…they sort of blew me away with how amazing and perceptive they were, and I think in many ways this was the deal breaker. Also, there were a lot of faculty who I met, and they were very encouraging, very supportive, and genuinely interested in what I do.” Her classes work to include diverse students and spark intellectual curiosity. “Putin’s Russia,” a Russian culture class taught in English, draws on Ezerova’s own research to examine Russia between 2000 and the present with an interdisciplinary, discussion-based approach. Emma Wilbur ‘19, a Russian Studies major, remarked, “[Ezerova is] definitely incorporating film and digital media and music and pop culture into our discussion of Putin’s Russia, which I think is really cool.” She added that their discussions are also theoretical, as Ezerova introduces key theory and literature for each topic. However, Wilbur’s favorite aspect of the class is Ezerova’s ability to facilitate discussion. She reflected, “I think she encourages us….to challenge the point of view of the authors that we read, [to] challenge the point of view of our classmates in…a very civil and respectful way, that I think we get into disagreements in that class in a really constructive way.” Furthermore, as a contemporary scholar, Ezerova’s expertise balances existing course offerings on classical literature and earlier eras. Russian Studies Department Chair Dr.

Amanda Ewington explained that “whereas [her] own research is in the 18th century… [Ezerova] compliments that well with her work in contemporary Russia, 20th century, and contemporary post-Soviet Russia.” Ezerova’s contemporary knowledge will also prove essential for students completing senior theses in related areas. Russian Studies major Leah Mell ‘19 believes having a native Russian professor is particularly valuable because of Ezerova’s ability “to offer a fresh and honest perspective of what Russia is actually like, especially in a time of such heightened conflict between the States and Russia.” Ezerova’s background also directly influences her teaching goals. Ezerova stated, “my main goal is to challenge preconceived ideas about Russia because…we cannot really learn about the country only from the news, so my challenge…is to really give the students a broad, comprehensive perspective of what is Russia nowadays and the forms of dissent that exist there and the different voices that now define Russian culture.” In addition to dispelling stereotypes, Ezerova also strives to incorporate students’ varied backgrounds to make course content relevant to each individual.

“My main goal is to challenge preconceived ideas about Russia because…we cannot really learn about the country only from the news.” Dr. Daria Ezerova Professor of Russian Studies Even for those not interested in Russian language, the department offers pertinent subject matter. Wilbur encourages students from any methodological training to explore Russian Studies. She observed that “unfortunately a lot of departments…have in the last few years lost their Russia specialist… but I think it’s important for students who don’t study Russian Studies to take advantage of these courses that touch on politics, touch on history, and…I think at Davidson it’s a pretty understudied field.” Stephen Mostek ‘21, currently enrolled in both “Putin’s Russia” and Ezerova’s Russian 201 class, confirmed that “[classes like] Pu-

Dr. Daria Ezerova joins the Russian Studies department after completing her Ph.D. at Yale University. Photo by Elayna Daniels ‘21 tin’s Russia [are] a really great way to get into another culture that isn’t yours and to try and learn about other people…in a way that you’re not going to get if you don’t go into the Russian Studies Department.” Moving forward, Ezerova shared that she hopes to continue “build[ing] bridges with other departments, because as scholar[s] of the humanities, we really all strive towards maximum interdisciplinarity [sic].” In the spring, Ezerova plans to teach a course entitled “Cinema After Communism” looking at Russian, Ukranian, Polish, and East German cinema. Drawing on her film background, the course will examine former Eastern Bloc countries’ reactions to political and social change following 1989 or 1991.

Beyond teaching, Ezerova is also planning some upcoming speaker events. She is currently organizing a seminar and lecture series called “Understanding Contemporary Russia” that will bring scholars of Russia in the 2000s to campus. Next semester, the department has the rare opportunity to host Julia Ioffe, a prominent journalist covering Russia, who can provide a unique perspective outside academia. Students disappointed at losing a beloved Russian Studies professor can be assured that Ezerova is a powerful addition to the tight knit department. Ewington expressed that “she just brings a lot of enthusiasm, she is incredibly knowledgeable, [and] you can see there is a great sense of community in her classroom… so I think she’s a great fit for Davidson.”

Mock Draws Outside Audience to Lecture CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 Her second autobiography follows Mock from college to New York through her job search. The Reynolds subcommittee found her to be the best choice for this year’s lecture due to her ability to effectively and eloquently distribute her message across many different platforms. Stremlau stated that while inviting Mock, a transgender woman, to speak is “not a political statement,” the committee is “aware of what North Carolina is doing on trans issues.” According to America’s largest civil rights organization dedicated to queer equality, the Human Rights Campaign, the state does not have laws in place against discrimination based on gender identity in education, housing, or employment. North Carolina also does not have any restrictions on conversion therapy. Due to Mock’s unique position and status, the event will not be insular. Many groups and visitors have bought tickets for the lecture. Most notably, Time Out Youth purchased multiple tickets to bring some of their members. According to their official website, the Charlotte-based organization is dedicated to “sup-

port, advocacy, and opportunities for personal development and social interaction” for LGBT+ youth from ages 11 to 20.

“Janet Mock’s presence was radical, inclusive, and unapologetic, as her existence and her work have never failed to demonstrate.” Christine Choi ‘17 Stremlau hopes that the lecture will be accessible to all in the audience regardless of their experiences with trans people, the issues they face, or their opinions on the LGBT+ community. The overall goal of the Reynolds Lecture is “is really an opportunity to develop an understanding” on a contemporary issue that might not be easily grasped, Stremlau explained. During the event, an interview between Mock and Dr. Katie

Horowitz, a member of the Gender & Sexuality Studies department, Mock spoke about her backstory, writing career, and experience as a television writer, producer, and transgender activist. After a standing ovation, Mock signed books for event attendees in the Union Atrium. Christine Choi ‘17, who drove from Washington, DC, for the event commented, “Janet Mock’s presence was radical, inclusive, and unapologetic, as her existence and her work have never failed to demonstrate.” Daric McKinney ‘19 agreed, describing the lecture as “legendary, iconic, inspiring more than anything.” He added, “Janet Mock has come through so many adversarial moments, and just to see her living her best life is incredibly inspiring… I’m speechless. Amazing, she’s just amazing. I’m so proud of her [and] thankful for the work she has done; she’s an icon.” Lilly Greene ‘21 summed up the mood of Mock’s reception at Davidson. “I’m just in love with her,” she said.

September 26, 2018

Socialist Group Organizes CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 “Right now, I see a lot of people that are upset with the current political framework and I think an anti-capitalistic view can help bring everyone together and evaluate why things are so bad in their lives.” Along with the growth in membership, the DSA’s platform is resonating the most with young people. According to a 2018 Gallup poll, 51 percent of Americans aged 18 to 29 have a positive view about socialism. The median age for a DSA member is 33.

“We want to educate and help demystify the socialist agenda.” Arianna MonteroColbert ‘18 “For a lot of young voters, a pivotal moment in their political consciousness was the economic crisis of 2008. As a result, the questions arose of who is going to pay for this and who is going to get punished,” said Weals. “What happened was that ordinary Americans, statistically a majority of them being people of color, footed the bill for this criminal activity. Most Americans have a fundamental understanding that the current capitalistic system is not working for them, and it is only going to get worse with the Trump presidency.” The main goal of Davidson’s YDSA club is to educate the community about the Democratic Socialist ideology. Additionally, they hope to work directly with DSA in political

campaigning and work with other clubs on campus. “Definitely one of our main intentions with this chapter is political education,” explained Montero-Colbert. “We want to educate and help demystify the socialist agenda. Also, we want to work with student groups that have similar interests as ours, including the Davidson Students for Just Admissions club.” With the addition of the new YDSA chapter, Davidson currently has six political organizations on campus. Joe DeMartin ‘21, president of Young Americans for Freedom (YAF), is looking forward to the new political voice on campus. “I am always excited about new perspectives on campus, and I think the YDSA is going to bring an extremely unique and not yet represented point of view,” said DeMartin. Like the YDSA, the YAF is a chapter of a nationwide political outreach organization. They are a conservative organization that “is committed to ensuring that increasing numbers of young Americans understand and are inspired by the ideas of individual freedom, a strong national defense, free enterprise, and traditional values.” Despite their political differences, DeMartin wants to maintain a friendly and respectful relationship between the two clubs. “I hope that despite of our policy and political disagreements, we can still get together for some engaging dialogue and discussion,” explained DeMartin. “I feel as though one of the most important and exciting things about going to a college like Davidson is that we have access to people of all different backgrounds. It is super important to talk about different ideas and investigate our own claims.”

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Students Weather the Storm CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 or were making jokes about the hurricane. Here it wasn’t serious at all, and I think people did get a little hysterical about it, but if you look four hours down the road, people are actually in a lot of pain,” said Nunez. “It quite literally hits close to home.” Some faculty and staff remember being on campus almost 30 years ago in September of 1989 during Hurricane Hugo. Dr. Shaw Smith, professor of Art History, was beginning his time at Davidson when Hugo hit. Classes were canceled the day after the storm, which was a rare occurrence, since so many professors live within walking distance of the school. Hugo had a visible effect on campus; around 200 trees fell down, costing the college up to $400,000 in damage. Smith said the loss of the trees was a bit demoralizing. “Once that got cleaned up, it looked relatively barren,” said Smith. However, since nobody was seriously injured, the community was able to enjoy the time off. “It was a celebratory mood, because nobody was going to work,” said Smith. “People just emptied out their freezers; their best steaks were going to go bad. I remember going to a party, and this guy had a tree on top of his house. ” Davidson College lost three trees during Florence as the result of excess soil saturation and water weight within the trees. There was also a short loss of power Sunday morning for buildings on the West side of Main Street. Physical Plant is currently working to fix small leaks in Chambers, Wall, Commons, and the Carolina Inn. David Holthouser, Director of Facilities and Engineering at Physical Plant, is proud of the way his team handled the storm. “Florence showed that our preparation and training for weather and other emergencies paid off. Our systems worked. We were able to respond effectively. The campus continued to run smoothly, and we maintained steady communication on campus and with our Davidson families across the country and around the world,” Holthouser said in an email.

Hurricane Florence peaked as a Category 4 storm, but weakened to a Category 1 by the time it reached the coast. Dave Backus, professor of Environmental Studies, said climate change is a huge reason Hurricane Florence was so devastating and one of the reasons why tropical storms in general are becoming more frequent. As greenhouse gases trap heat, much of that excess heat is

stored in the ocean, since around 70% of the earth’s surface is covered in water. “More heat energy in the ocean makes it easier for a storm to increase in magnitude,” Backus concluded in an email. Climate change also contributed to Florence’s intensity once the slow-moving storm had already formed. “As long as Florence sat near the coast, it had the capacity to draw on the heat energy of the ocean. That energy translated directly into rainfall,” said Backus. “Estimates of the additional rainfall contributed by climate change for Hurricane Florence are around 50%.” Students at Davidson are looking to aid in hurricane relief efforts near and far from campus. Last Thursday, the Center for Civic Engagement partnered with Physical Plant to organize a volunteer campus cleanup during common hour. Students also helped tidy the Town of Davidson’s community garden on Saturday. As for helping those along the coast, Civic Engagement Council Chair Samuel Owusu ‘21 thinks it is important to acknowledge both the strengths and limitations of college students. “It’s great to have the mentality of ‘yes, we’re going to go straight to Wilmington and send a busload of student volunteers,’ but volunteers aren’t equipped with the know-how to deal with everything that comes with [a natural disaster],” said Owusu. “The best way to do effective service is to get in contact with those in need and see what they actually need.” The Center for Civic Engagement (CCE) currently runs a food drive in partnership with Second Harvest Food Bank based in Charlotte. Second Harvest sent the CCE an itemized list of current needs, including water, cereal bars, and peanut butter. Students can drop off supplies to donation boxes located in Lula Bell’s Resource Center and the Union Atrium until September 28th. Students interesting in further helping Florence relief efforts are encouraged to explore the CCE’s OrgSync page, or to contact Samuel Owusu or Taylor Brendle.

Perspectives

How to Disagree in Politics: Thinking Deeper MATTHEW LEBAR ‘19 I’m the chair for the Center for Political Engagement, or CPE, an organization intended to bring together people with different political and moral worldviews to learn from each other. But taking seriously the nature of those differences rather than falling back on simplistic models is crucial, and I worry that often we use one of two incomplete perspectives on disagreement. These models subtly structure thinking about disagreement at the expense of consideration of more nuanced positions, and I certainly have found my own thinking limited by them. The first is what we might think of as the “free speech warrior” viewpoint, and is often associated with the political right. Using this model, we ought to respond to different moral or political views by publicly confronting them with reasoned explanations of why we disagree, no matter how deep that disagreement runs. We must converse respectfully across worldviews, since to do otherwise causes unnecessary conflict and expresses disrespect for opinions that are as reasonably held as our own. Further, even if there are rare cases where we can’t treat opposing views

with respect, we most surely defeat the views we find repulsive by rationally deconstructing their mistakes. Besides, suppressing ideas we disagree with wouldn’t work anyway – they’d worm their way back into discourse somehow, or worse, the mechanism of suppression would end up backfiring and suppressing our own ideas. The second model, often associated with the political left, severely circumscribes the range of disagreement. Moral and political disagreements aren’t bloodless academic disputes; they’re conflicts about how we ought to treat other people. Many or even most political and moral issues, then, won’t represent something we can debate over a meal, but a deep split between us that rightfully prevents us from forming meaningful relationships. Further, often the best way to deal with these disagreements is not to legitimate them by responding to them with rational counterarguments, but to ignore, exclude, or even actively suppress them. Certainly, there may be some room for reasonable disagreements, like how to achieve or interpret shared political ends, but we shouldn’t confuse those kinds of disagreements with more fundamental ones. Disagreements that affect people’s lives ought not be treated like fun debates over whether a hot dog counts as a sandwich. They should be treated as serious clashes of

value that run to the very core of who we are as people and how we live with others, because that is exactly what they are. As I’ve said, I don’t think either perspective comes close to a complete understanding of the nature of political disagreement. Each, however, brings out the incompleteness in the other. The first model needs to accommodate the extent to which disagreements over morality and politics really do reflect differences that ought not always be bridged. Certainly we shouldn’t treat a Nazi with respect as if their views were merely misguided, so the question is what divides the views that deserve respect from those that don’t. Further, when someone’s views aren’t formed through rational methods, or if they weaponize tolerance to express repulsive views, we ought not pretend those views deserve respect, and we may deal with them best by ignoring or shaming them. But the second model should take more serious account of the costs of cutting off relationships because of disagreements, especially when those disagreements stem from genuinely thoughtful and careful ways of thinking about the world. Refusing to treat someone as a moral peer because of disagreement is sometimes justified, but it’s a serious decision and should be treated as such. We shouldn’t sanitize those

disagreements, but we shouldn’t demonize them either. Further, disagreement is a brute fact of life. Turning every disagreement into a fight will be enormously costly, especially since we’re certain to lose some fights. We are likely to do better by trying to find ways we can live with and learn from many of those we disagree with. The problem, again, is finding those ways, and finding which disagreements they are worth applying to. I don’t intend this discussion to present a slam-dunk argument for any view, but to point towards deeper consideration of the issues of disagreement. Understanding them is difficult, and will require thinking carefully about exactly what questions we’re asking – are we worried about whether a response to some disagreement is imprudent or whether it fails to treat the disagreement with sufficient respect? Are we asking how individuals or institutions should handle disagreement? These considerations are complex, and we can’t work through them without incorporating multiple ways of thinking. I hope the CPE can provide opportunities to bring together these ways of thinking and others this school year. Matthew LeBar ‘19 is a Philosophy and Mathematics major from Athens, Ohio. Contact him at malebar@davidson.edu

Valuing the Western Tradition through Humanities The Merits of a Canonical Curriculum WELLS KING ‘16 AND DANIEL SAMET ‘16 GUEST CONTRIBUTERS Our Davidson educations are invaluable. They have gifted us with an insatiable curiosity and a foundation of knowledge on which to explore the world. One of the highlights of our formative years at Davidson was the four-semester Humanities Program (or “Humes”). Aptly named “The Western Tradition,” the program surveyed the Western canon, posed the perennial questions of Western thought, and traced the roots of our present-day liberal order. In exposing students to the competing ideas of the Great Books, Humes taught students to reason humanely about ideas we had never considered and people we would never know beyond the page. In short, the Humanities Program was the Davidson student’s gateway to a tradition of inquiry that has spanned millennia and shapes the contours of our lives today. We were disappointed to find, upon a recent visit to the College’s website, that our storied Humanities Program has received an extreme makeover. No longer will Humes students survey the Great Books chronologically or comprehensively. The new, one-year program, “Connections and Conflicts in the Humanities,” hardly draws from the Western canon and eschews a chronological approach in favor of a thematic one (the current theme is “revolution”). Although the syllabus features some welcome additions, such as MLK’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail” and Arendt’s Eichmann in Jerusalem, its omissions are glaring. Shouldn’t a course themed “revolution” feature some writings related to the most consequential revolutions of Modernity: the American and the French? The only “text” related to either is a visit to Cowpens National Battlefield. According to an article in the Davidson Journal, the up-

dated syllabus is “not necessarily from within the Western tradition, but … from various positions within the West” because the prior course did not mirror “the kind of humanistic inquiry happening in the academy today.” Dismissing charges by Allan Bloom and other defenders of the Western canon as “revanchist,” the new program’s faculty are “rethinking” the humanities itself and, under the guise of helping students “understand and appreciate a wide array of humanistic texts,” have designed a syllabus that hardly pays lip-service to canonical ones. Out with The Prince, in with the postmodern partisans. Absent are works once considered essential to understanding – much less participating in – humanistic inquiry: those of Homer, Augustine, Dante, and Shakespeare, to name a few. In fact, there are only two texts that pre-date the twentieth century on the fall semester syllabus: an excerpt of Plato’s Republic and Galileo’s “Letter to the Grand Duchess Christina.” Students of the new program will emerge with a radically truncated understanding of what the humanities have been historically, leaving them ill-prepared to engage in pressing debates about, for example, the nature and purpose of revolution. Though we applaud many of the program’s new structural changes – for example, class trips, student “fellows,” and public lectures – we worry that the new curriculum, in the spirit of “revolution,” has disregarded timeless questions for niche topics, such as comparative genocide, and replaced foundational works with contemporary “texts,” such as Childish Gambino lyrics, that seem better suited to social media than a college syllabus. If only professors would have students leave politics and pop culture at the classroom door and, like Machiavelli, “step inside the venerable courts of the ancients …[and] converse with them.” The conventional Western canon is understandably contro-

The

Davidsonian Staff

Editors in Chief News Editors Perspectives Editor Arts and Culture Editor Sports Editor Photography Editor Yowl Editors Design Editor Web Editor Art Editor Copy Editors

Laura Dunnagan ‘19, Olivia Daniels ‘19 AJ Naddaff ‘19, Emma Pettit ‘20 Kayla Edwards ‘20 Lucas Weals ‘19 Sam Thomas ‘20 Elayna Daniels ‘21 EJ Kelley ‘20, Katie Walsh ‘20 Sebastian Sola-Sole ‘21 Hope Anderson ‘22 Richard Farrell ‘22 Sarah Austin ‘21, Lindy Bustabad ‘21, Susannah Cate ‘20, Yashi Gunawardena ‘19

versial and often considered too inattentive to the experiences of all genders, classes, races, and creeds. Other arguments dismiss the very notion of a “canon.” These are worthy objections to consider in a Chambers classroom and at a Commons table. Indeed, such criticisms and aspirations for inclusion are outgrowths of the very texts taught in the old Humes curriculum, which fostered such a spirit of progress, but tempered it with an understanding of the ideas and institutions that made it possible. We cannot challenge the canon without having studied it first. Other nationally recognized institutions have maintained more traditional humanities programs – Yale University’s Directed Studies program, for example. Still other institutions, such as Saint John’s College, have dedicated their entire curricula to the Great Books. These are not reactionary universities quixotically preserving traditions but thriving institutions that prepare students to engage thoughtfully with the world as it is. Davidson ought to join them in a tradition of liberal education befitting its history and statement of purpose. As alumni we hope to find, upon a future visit to the course catalog, a curricular opportunity for students to study the Great Brooks chronologically – that they might converse with great thinkers of the past, situate their ideas in history, and witness the ongoing evolution of timeless questions. Daniel Samet ’16 was a History and French and Francophone Studies double-major from Washington, D.C. Contact him at danieljsamet@gmail.com. Wells King ’16 was a History major from Concord, NC. Contact him at wellscking@gmail.com.

Sports

Volleyball Strides into Conference Play

HARRISON TURNER ‘22 SPORTS WRITER

he Davidson volleyball team opened conference play this past weekend with Duquesne and La Salle coming to town Friday and Sunday. The Duquesne Dukes came into Baker on Friday night looking to get their first conference win; however, Mason Rooney ‘19 led the volleyball in a different direction. Davidson won in straight sets (25-19, 25-15, 25-12), dominating each with ease. In the box score, the women proved the win was no fluke. They led every major category, including kills and assists, by a wide margin. Rooney led the ‘Cats in assists by setting up her teammates, namely Ellie Crosley ‘21 and Ciera Cockrell ‘19. The duo combined for 24 kills and dominated close to the net. Crosley ranks near the top in the country in kill percentage (4th) as she continues to put her accuracy and strength on display week in and week out. The trio of Rooney, Crosley, and Cockrell is one teams should fear moving forward. After the loss, the Dukes fell to 5-8 on the season, while the ‘Cats moved up to 7-4. After being forced to take a long time off the court due to two canceled games last week, the ‘Cats seem to have not skipped a beat. However, Sunday’s contest provided a different result. La Salle came in with a strong game plan to limit Crosley and Cockrell, holding them to only nine combined kills. The ‘Cats remained competitive in the sweep, losing the second set in

extended points. Rooney and Hattie Rodriguez ‘22 stepped up and combined for 25 kills, but it wasn’t enough to bring the ‘Cats back. The Explorers won the last set 25-18, completing the sweep. La Salle led most every key stat in the box score, but not by a wide margin. After two hard fought early conference matches for the ‘Cats, the team will visit Dayton and Saint Louis next week to continue league play. Looking elsewhere in the conference, Dayton and VCU were the only two teams to go undefeated on the weekend, putting them at 2-0 and at the top of the conference. Dayton beat both George Mason and George Washington each in four sets. If the ‘Cats want to beat Dayton Friday night, they will need to keep an eye on Lauren Bruns. Her performances in both matches this past weekend awarded her A-10 Player of the Week honors, totaling 40 kills in her first two A-10 matches. On the other hand, a different story played out for La Salle, losing to the same two opponents Dayton faced. The Billikens were swept by George Washington in straight sets Friday, coming up just short in each set. On Sunday, the Billikens lost in the fifth set to George Mason after a very competitive match. Both of these squads will put up strong fights against the ‘Cats this weekend as each conference game continues to grow in importance. The next home game for the Wildcats will be October 6th against VCU, where they will hopefully have two more A-10 wins under their belt. Davidson Volleyball enjoys their winning season with strong performances from senior leaders. Photos by Elayna Daniels ‘21

Coaching Change Elicits Positive Reaction from Team JACOB MARGOLIS ‘20 SPORTS WRITER

possible, [getting] to the point where [he] sees the offense like Coach Abell sees the offense.”

t only took Head Coach Scott Abell three games to do something that former coach Paul Nichols never did in his five years in charge of Davidson’s football program; winning three games in a season. The competition has not exactly been stout. Abell told The Charlotte Observer back in August, “[I’d] like to beef up the non-conference schedule in the future.” That said, it does not take away from the dominance the football team has exhibited so far, winning each game by at least three touchdowns. This dominance is especially apparent on offense, where the Wildcats have utilized Abell’s spread option system to average 58 points per game. Entering the season, the team’s ability to adjust to a new, complicated style was seen as critical to any sort of success. According to quarterback Tyler Phelps ‘21, this adjustment has gone as well as possible. He stated that while “there’s definitely a difference between running a spread offense [Nichols’ offense] and running a spread option offense, Coach Abell and the whole staff have made the transition as smooth as possible.” The work is not done, however. Phelps commented that he would like to improve on “becoming as comfortable with the offense as

“We know that, with our offense, we are very hard to stop when we are clicking on all cylinders.”

Weekly Sports Update

Will Wicks ‘20 Besides learning and operating the new offense, what else has keyed the team to a 3-0 start? When asked, wide receiver Will Wicks ‘20, who has compiled an incredible feat of over 400 all-purpose yards and eight touchdowns, answered that “the biggest factor to the team’s fast start has been executing the game plan the coaches provide us. We know that with our offense, we are very hard to stop when we are clicking on all cylinders.” Furthermore, Wicks believes that “Coach Abell calls a great game plan and [the team goes] out and execute[s] it.” The defense cannot be forgotten either, and Wicks proclaimed that “[the] defense does a great job of getting stops.” When asked about the most positive aspect of the defense so far, Defensive Coordinator Jon Berlin claimed

that he has “been very pleased with how well we run and our level of physicality… we have done a nice job of running to the football.” He did caution that “it’s really important that we address our depth on the defensive side of the ball, so we can be effective for four full quarters.” The program’s revamped culture was another key feature to the team’s success in the first month. Berlin stressed this point when he explained how “[the staff has] begun to establish [a] new football culture,” and that he “was very pleased with how hard our players work and their thirst for knowledge.” Phelps added that he was particularly impressed by “the way guys have come together and shared a bond,” a feeling that Phelps “didn’t have last year.” Abell has also tried to put his players in positions to succeed by making everything a bit more manageable. Phelps stated that a major difference between this season and past seasons is that “Coach Abell is a lot more relaxed. Offensively, we don’t put in a new offense every week. We simply run our stuff and make some minor adjustments based on how we think the team we’re playing is going to defend us.” More so, Phelps reiterated the positive culture change when he asserted that “overall,

Game of the Week Soccer (W) Women’s soccer is up against Fordham this Thursday night at Alumni Stadium. Be sure to make your way down to catch the ‘Cats as they continue to make their presence felt in the A-10. There are a lot of positives to be taken away after the team fell just short against two legitimate conference title contenders a week ago, and the team will look to put it all together against another tough conference foe. The game starts at 7 pm, so let’s put together a strong home field advantage and take down the Rams!

everyone has a lot more respect for not just Coach Abell but the entire staff. The relationships between coaches and players have gotten significantly better since Coach Abell took over, and that is incredibly important for a team to be successful.” Beating Division II and III schools is one thing, beating Pioneer League teams is another. Despite losing in their opening league game against Dayton, Wicks stated that he and the team “have a goal of winning every week [and] have high expectations for the rest of the season...We have been having tremendous starts to our games, but sometimes we slow down when we’re ahead or just don’t play as clean in the second half.” At the end of the day however, Wicks is confident and believes that “when we don’t hurt ourselves, we’re unstoppable.” The Coach Abell era is just four games old but there is a palpable buzz around the program that hasn’t existed in years. The program was featured on EPSN’s SportsCenter and garnered national media coverage for its incredible 91-point outburst against Guilford. It may be early, but it certainly does not seem like a stretch to claim that the program is improving rapidly.

Wildcat Standings: Football Team Stetson Dayton Jacksonville Drake Butler Valparaiso Morehead State San Diego Davidson Marist

W 3 2 1 1 2 0 1 1 3 0

L 0 2 1 1 1 3 2 2 1 3

Pct.

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

1 .5 .5 .5 .67 0 .333 .333 .75 0

Arts and Culture

Trilla G ENT: The Voices Behind “I Love Union” LILLY ROTHMAN ‘21 MUSIC CORRESPONDENT

ast Friday, I sat down with the founding members of Trilla G ENT—Lawrence King ’19, Victor-Alan Weeks ’19, and Bradford Grant ’19—whose recently released music video, “I Love Union,” has taken the Davidson campus by storm. The video, a response to Steph Curry’s famous “I Love Commons” video, has been a huge success, accumulating nearly 9,000 views on YouTube in the eight days since it was posted. So far, the music production group has been overwhelmed with positive responses. They were not only given compliments from students, faculty, and staff, but also from the townspeople of Davidson and international Davidson College supporters. When asked about the feedback Trilla G received, King, aka MC Brooklyn, called the widespread support “surreal,” as it far surpassed all of the responses the group had received in the past. Weeks, also known as Pragmatic, commented that the “return on investment” he and his music partners received was equally “humbling” and fulfilling. Grant, aka Legacy, explained that the various networks available to Davidson students allowed the video to reach audiences far outside of the Davidson Bubble. In addition to being and upbeat song that showcases the dining options at Davidson, “I Love Union” highlights hardworking staff members who often go unseen. Weeks says the inclusion of workers was completely intentional. “We wanted to have fun with [the video] but in a way that we could pay our respect to the staff that supports this institution,” he explained. King chimed in and said that featuring staff members was “the very least” Trilla G could do to give back those who form the backbone of the College. The video also includes a dedication that pays homage to all staff members who make life at Davidson safe and comfortable for students and faculty. MC Brooklyn, Pragmatic, and Legacy all have their own albums listed on Trilla G’s Soundcloud; but they stressed that Trilla G ENT is much more than a music group. Members strive to make Trilla G a “platform for other artists”: an enterprise where individuals help each other achieve artistic success. King explained how Trilla G allows students

to “take advantage of each other’s networks,” and emphasized the camaraderie of the organization; when referring to other members of the group, he remarked, “their success is our success.” The three creators of Trilla G also gave credit to their additional members, including visual artist Makayla Binter ‘20— who has made album artwork for Legacy and MC Brooklyn—and fellow musician Angelina Gurrola ‘20, who works under the stage name Moshun (pronounced motion). Trilla G launched their enterprise on campus last Spring when they received the “Failure Fund” grant from Davidson’s Center for Innovation and Entrepreneurship. The group used their winnings to promote themselves, producing and selling t-shirts which quickly sold out. Since then the group has been increasing their popularity on campus. This was partially aided by their victory in last spring’s Battle of the Bands and, of course, their “I Love Union” video. In addition to being talented musicians, Weeks, Grant, and King are also extremely dedicated to their education and to the greater Davidson community. As a Film Studies major, King often helps his peers with video production; he also works at the Davidson College Bookstore. King has served as student mentor for Davidson’s July Experience as well. Grant, who is a Questbridge scholar, works at the library as a student information specialist, and serves as the Civic Engagement Chair on the PCC E-board. Weeks is a Bonner Scholar who is actively involved with Ada Jenkins and specifically enjoys mentoring middle-school aged children. Trilla G encourages students who are interested in pursuing creative, entrepreneurial endeavors to contact them via their Instagram account @trillag_ent, so that they can help those aspiring to take their passions to the next level. They also stressed how important it is for students to take advantage of the resources Davidson offers to help students pursue their personal goals, and to simply to ask facility members for their assistance. “Davidson provides a lot of resources that the majority of the time go untapped,” says Grant. Lilly Rothman ‘21 is an English major from Shrewsbury, PA. She can be reached for comment at lirothman@davidson.edu

Members of Trilla G ENT pose together on the steps of Chambers. Photos courtesy of Trilla G ENT’s Facebook page

Restaurant Review: Ice House MICHAEL HALL ‘19 FOOD CORRESPONDENT

hough not seated along Davidson’s iconic central strip, Davidson Ice House brings a similar sense of casual comfort to the tail-end of Main Street. The wooden porch is adorned with windowsill flowers, and overhead fans make Davidson’s elongated summers bearable. As my friend and I entered, we were both stricken by the skeletal interior: exposed brick and metal fixtures lead customers to connect the restaurant with its historic past as an ice making plant. Frank Sinatra sang quietly in the background and seemed oddly fitting for the ambitious task of ordering. Davidson Ice House is a casual, build-your-own-bowl eatery. Nine “Chef’s Creations” are available—as well as the possibility to make your own—and are to be paired with greens, grains, or rice. For my first time at Ice House, it seemed only appropriate to order the Davidsonian: Grilled chicken thighs, grilled slaw, maple glazed sweet potatoes, lemon cauliflower, kale slaw, sassy pimento cheese, and tangy apri-

cot. With such a wide spread of toppings, I opted for a base of grains— white rice and brown lentils—as a fluffy canvas. My friend and I took our seats outside and were pleasantly surprised to find our bowls in front of us in a matter of minutes. We grabbed our biodegradable silverware, placed in front of a neglected display case of baked goods, and dug in. I understand the bowl is a “whole is greater than the sum of its parts” scenario; but I figured it was best to try each element by itself first. Visually potent, the yellowness of the cauliflower was not unfounded: its strong flavor of lemon added a tingle-inducing acid. I expected the maple glazed sweet potatoes to be roasted and bear the color of rust symbolic of caramelization. Instead, they were steamed and simply blanketed by a maple glaze that bore as much grain mustard as maple. Nevertheless, they retained a firm bite only rivaled in the bowl by the cauliflower. Although both slaws—grilled and kale—added texture, the crevices of the kale allowed it to better grip its dressing. The grilled chicken thighs were succulent, but the “sassiness” of the pimento cheese was lost in a sea of

mayonnaise that would’ve disappointed my neighbors in Georgia. I proceeded to fold the ingredients into the base of rice and lentils and assemble a bite incorporating all the parts I could fit onto one fork load. Most notable is the diversity of textures and temperatures. Cruciferous cauliflower places nicely with the tender pieces of chicken, and the cold slaws balanced out the warm sweet potatoes. Less pleasant: the pimento cheese had enough mayonnaise for three portions and, astonishingly, the grains were terribly undercooked. The rice was dyed brown, making me think it was cooked together with the lentils despite their different cook times, consequently explaining the rice’s firmness. Seeing as this was the base of the dish, I was surprised by such a mistake; but my friend’s white rice was the aerated base I had desired, so I’ll take my case as a fluke. Michael Hall ‘19 is an Economics and Latin American Studies double major from Savannah, GA. He can be reached for comment at mihall@davidson.edu. “The Davidsonian”: Grilled chicken, slaw, cauliflower, kale, pimento cheese and apricot. Photos by Michael Hall ‘19

Et Cetera

Personal Essay: Jonathan Shepard-Smith ‘18 What does it mean to be Black at Davidson?

here is Black, and there is Black at Davidson. The realization of blackness at Davidson is something that both occurs all at once and gradually. From the moment you step on campus, you can sense that you are blacker than you’ve ever been. What takes time is realizing the root cause of these feeling, namely what it actually means to be Black on Davidson’s campus –historically, economically, politically, and culturally –and how because of this, the Black you are at Davidson is different from the Black you are anywhere else. In many ways, the 665 acres so fondly coined the “Davidson Bubble” by generations of students serves as a refuge from the outside world. The culture of the institution is so thick, it is hard to see beyond it. History oozes from the stately Chambers building, the wisdom held within acting as a vacuum to all those in proximity. Bright and polite peers walk the winding paths throughout campus, a mass representative of all in the liberal arts that is praised: postures of humility, empathetic glances, minds overflowing with the progressive lesson of the day. As you continue walking these paths, you come to the realization that you are walking the same paths of U.S Presidents and CEOs, lawyers and doctors, humanitarians and world leaders. You are astounded that someone like you is fortunate enough to share the same space as these individuals, and in the back of your mind (the only place you dare consider such a delicate notion) you think that one day long after

you’re gone, students might think of you as they walk this very same path. You reach Commons, the last building before crossing between academic and social life on campus. You stop and look fondly, as you do nearly every time you pass it. The 12 hours of unlimited food and drink mean much more than a full belly for students like you; it is a metaphor for the blanket of security provided by the institution. Entering the presence of Commons is a reminder that you will not go without at Davidson. The worries of hunger, theft, or braving the elements are not concerns for those who dwell inside of the Bubble. Crossing the cultural border of academic to social territory, the paths spread to ten houses. Each of the houses represents a different sect of social life. You learned during orientation that this space is where all walks of life come to fellowship. There is even one designated for students like you. Here, on any given weekend students congregate to celebrate our presence on this campus, in this world. Though the courtyard is divided into social sects, there is no resistance to students joining others in weekend festivities. As time transpires, you start to realize the Bubble is not impenetrable. There are times when the air clears. The ominous figures you start to make out in the background send shivers down your spine. You notice Chambers is plastered with the names of individuals who would have fought tooth and nail against your attendance here. A closer look shows where the Black bodies you believed absent are actually present. The

Fall Fling Edition In recognition of the third annual Fall Fling, we are excited to showcase some of our classmates’ (and former classmates’) styles from the evening. The event drew a range of outfits, including formalwear and more casual threads. Students, alumni, and Union staff members enjoyed dancing, food, a cash bar, and live music by Minutes and Years. Union Board and SGA worked to create an inclusive event outside of the Patterson Court social structure. Students were required to register guests and present two forms of identification in order to consume alcohol. “We felt that Fall Fling was as good as it could have been without Catfish Disco,” stated Flannery Rokeby-Jackson ‘19 and Michael Peruggia ‘19, referencing a favorite student band whose members have since graduated. All photos from the event will be available on and welcome to be shared from our website (www.davidsonian.com).

difference is unlike you, their presence is not in classroom, but rather sweeping, cleaning, and working the green grounds you once strolled so dreamily. The air clears a little more, and you begin to make out facial expressions. Those originally deemed progressive and tolerant still cannot help but stare, not accusingly but amused. Black bodies, cultural and physical, are still a novelty. Our interactions are awkward and forced, as if we are dance partners trying a new step that neither of us know very well. Slowly, the initial feeling towards the culture of the wildcat is melted away with each case of injustice towards Black bodies in the outside world. The mantra “wildcats” now feels like a negation of all experiences gained outside of the Bubble, each time the word is uttered it causes a trace of resentment to ooze through to the pores of your skin. You begin to hate yourself for feeling this way, for no longer believing your earliest interpretations. From this hate arises guilt. Who are you to critique a place that has done so much for you?

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inside

davidsønian.com Reports Show 86% of Fall Fling Attendees Cried Before, During or After Event Page 86

The Interplanetary Issue

September 26, 2018

Alpha Male Swallows Pride, Forced to Use Lower Urinal in Crowded Bathroom Page 4

Winless Flickerball Team Plans to “Get ‘em Next Year” Page ∞

10 Reasons Why You’ll Never be as Valuable a Connection as Your Friend’s Summer Colleagues at the Firm Page LinkedIn

Eerie Fallen Mobike Found to be Number One Cause of Campus Panic Attacks Page 345

Freshman SGA Senator Already Pawn in Massive Upperclassman Power Play

Beware: what starts as a harmless round of footsie could lead to a stroll by The Well.

Risky: Noncommittal Couple Who Made Out Five Feet from Well Caught the Feels CHAMBERS LAWN (ISH) –– This past Saturday night, sophomore Janet Vance and junior Gus Roseman (almost) decided to take their relationship to the next level. The couple has been together for two months and first bonded during their time as Outdoor Odyssey leaders over the summer. Both in high spirits from the invigorating Union Board Semi-Formal, the pair decided to take a stroll around campus. However, the night would take a distressing turn. The couple was last spotted at the semi-formal around 12:35 AM before the make out session occurred. Vance’s friend Emmaline Henry ‘21 watched the duo walk toward the Alvarez Student Union and hoped the couple was simply trying to escape the 5th 2000’s pop band cover of the night. Henry reports to The Yowl that there was fear lingering in the back of her mind when Vance and Roseman vanished from the semi-formal. “Janet had mentioned The Well to me earlier that week and was asking me if I believed the rumors to be true. She began stalking the Facebook accounts of Davidson alumni couples to see if there were any mentions of The Well in any anniversary posts. She’s almost

The Yowl’s Style Section:

grown obsessed with the legend, and I knew she was going to investigate further. I just didn’t think she would be brave enough to take Gus with her.” The Yowl was able to catch up with Vance and Roseman the following day. Vance denied knowing what Henry was referring to and insisted that the couple had “mutually decided to take a leisurely stroll around campus.” Vance sweatily commented, “campus is only so big, so I mean, at some point you’re going to pass The Well.” The two repeated multiple times that the session occurred at least five feet away from The Well, and even if there was a kiss above The Well, there is no contractual obligation to get married. Vance claims sometimes she isn’t even sure that marriage is “her thing.” Roseman is “enjoying things as they are but isn’t looking for Well-level type of commitment.” “We just thought is something fun we could try, but now I can’t help but feel this weird sense of devotion to her. It’s really weird...there’s no way that rule applies to us, right?” Roseman asked, oddly contemplating whether DCPC will have availability for a spring wedding.

Day 1

Day 2

“All I did was put up a few posters and write a quirky email blurb. I… I never intended for all of this to happen,” remarked a trembling TJ Davies ‘22 as he choked back tears. Davies spoke with The Yowl just outside the Anthony R. Foxx SGA Office, where he has become embroiled in a dark conspiracy of sex, murder, and an insatiable lust for power, despite being elected just one day ago. Davies, whom friends described as a personable and modest guy who sincerely wanted to serve the community, had his spirit totally shattered Monday after being compelled to commit the coup de grace in a sweeping takeover of campus institutions by an as-yet enigmatic cabal of upperclassmen. “Oh TJ? He’s nothing –– just a dog at the heel of progress,” commented Aaron Kelly ‘20 who now holds the position of Chair of the Politburo and Defender of the People and was coincidentally wearing a maroon beret during his on-record statements. “It’s very simple: the SGA was weak, decadent. I had been planning my reforms for a year now. All I needed was a grunt; better to not get your hands dirty,” Kelly said as he went to survey his new fiefdom. When asked why he had allowed himself to be swept up in the fervour of revolutionary politics, Davies responded through a clenched jaw and grey, doll-like eyes, “So many promises, so much hope, I didn’t know what I was doing. You believe me, don’t you? I didn’t realise it would go down that way, stripped of their power one by one, humiliated. I didn’t mean to. You believe me, right? I just wanted to get more vending machines around campus.” “I’m just happy the students are really getting into the spirit of it,” noted Dean McCrae when asked about the sudden changes to the student government. “I know some students are disappointed that things turned out the way they did, but that’s just part of the competition that keeps SGA a vibrant campus institution.” Davies would not comment on whether he intended to resign from his position as a first-year senator, though students’ hopes remain high that he can make campus a more fun and inclusive place. At press time, Davies was seen dining in the DuPont Room with members of the Mobike Lobby. When questioned, Davies claimed they were “family friends.”

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Pat Lang ‘20 I grew up on the Northwest Quadrant of Mars, where I would say our style is influenced by the strong desire to not suffocate in the unbreathable atmosphere. I got to Davidson (and Earth) and felt a little culture-shock. Things are just different here, man. The bar is lower, especially for guys. They all wear the same pastel frat shirts. All my clothes are shipped from NASA and custom fit to my measurements. Despite being an interplanetary student, I have adapted a little bit to the new culture here at Davidson. For example, I no longer wear my space helmet, as I no longer need it to breathe.

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Satire: comedy’s final frontier. These are the voyages of The Starship Yowl. Its four-year mission: to explore strange new d*ck jokes, to criticize the student body and administration, to ironically go where no publication has gone before (except, like, The Onion and stuff).

WRITERS

THE BOX

Matrimonial Malorie Hudson, Leonidas, Pat Lang, Matt Wang, and the rest of the crew

Quote of the Week: “When it comes to free speech, Davidson earned the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education’s worst rating.”

Note: The Yowl is a satirical supplement to The Davidsonian. Hence, nothing in it should be taken as truth. We don’t make the news, we fake the news™.