Issuu

Issue 21 / / January 2018

February 2018

Letter from the Editor

Sex was something that was never talked about in my household. 5

Umbrella Sexualities

Online Dating

RELATIONSHIP SEX VS. HOOKUP SEX

It depends on the girl, but generally hookups are more exciting.

Sexual Assault

sex and hip hop

Politics, media and capitalism have had a huge impact on the industry at large. 15

The Science of Fetishes

the sexual revolution of the fashion industry

When I was growing up if you wore skinny jeans, you were gay; if you wore earrings, you were gay; if you listened to indie rock music, you were gay. 18

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COOGLIFE // JANUARY 2018

Letter From The Editor Sex was something that was never talked about in my household. Growing up with a religious upbringing, my parents never really sat down to give me “that talk.” Our dialogue about sex ended at them telling me that it was something to hold off on until after marriage. But even so, my interest was always piqued. I remember being so curious about sex from a very young age, before I even began puberty. I specifically remember my parents refusing to buy me a ken doll to add to my collection of barbies, because they were afraid that I’d make Ken do inappropriate stuff with Barbie. I doubt it’d even crossed their minds that I was just using my Barbies to do inappropriate stuff to each other instead. My first sexual education class was received in the fifth grade when I was going to school in Virginia. They split our class off by gender to make sure that we didn’t feel uncomfortable or laugh or anything like that. That class opened up this whole new world for me, and before it, I never even thought about stuff like periods and puberty and sexual intercourse. I thought that this class was it, it had given me all of the knowledge I would ever need about this entirely dark and twisted world that would one day become my own. But it barely scratched the surface. Our sex ed teacher insisted to us that most girls don’t get their periods until 12, so we should cherish the next two years of our lives before our biological clock ticked in and we became a “woman.” I got my period the next week. I remember the feeling of sadness and disgust I felt at getting it. I was ashamed, and confused with my body. I told a few of my friends, but they were all proud of me and even a little 4

COOGLIFE // JANUARY 2018

bit jealous. I didn’t understand why, for at the time it felt that I had my entire childhood taken away from me. When I told my parents, they just went to the store to buy me a box of pads and left it at that. They discouraged me from talking about my period. Telling me it was gross and something to keep to myself. And so, for the duration of elementary school all the way throughout high school, I did. But then, in high school, I got my first boyfriend and my first cellphone, and both of these things would prove to be instrumental to the sexual education I never received. My boyfriend at the time was much older than me, he was about 17 and I was 15. He was sexually experienced, and I was not. I remember this causing me a lot of anxiety at the time. Surely he wouldn’t like dating someone like me who doesn’t know the first thing about having sex and has been kissing nobody else but the back of her hand for the past 15 years. Every night, I would go on my phone to find out what things boy liked. There was nothing that I wanted more at that time than to be the “perfect girlfriend” and I was willing to do anything to get that title. During my countless hours of research on different makeout techniques and sex positions, a very large chunk of information was notably missing my sexual education. What about consent? Whenever I would come over or he would come over, our time would be spent with epic makeout sessions and us never getting past third base. I liked things this way. There was nothing that scared me more than the idea of actual intercourse. But because he was getting “bored” we decided to

try it. My body would not comply. He would be ready to penetrate me, and I would completely close up. He would get frustrated and lose interest in doing anything else with me and I would go home upset with myself and crying. Those sessions were entirely for him. I never got anything out of what we did together, I just wanted to get him turned on. So when I was uncomfortable or tired or just not in the mood, I still went along with it because I thought to myself “this is my role here.” “No” didn’t mean anything. It was just me being a tease. “I don’t want to” didn’t mean anything. It just meant that I needed to be shown that I actually did want to. You get the idea. We broke up after dating for a year and a half. We never had sex, and looking back on it, I’m glad that we didn’t. I wasn’t emotionally mature enough to know what I wanted from that relationship, and I respected my body even less than he did when he would whine about me gaining five pounds all the time. I love to talk about sex now. But I think that sex is such a complex thing, that we need to talk about it in more than just the conventional way. This issue is no “Cosmopolitan.” You won’t walk away finding out 20 insane sex moves to try out in an elevator. Instead, I want you to walk away a bit more educated about sex and how it intertwines with our world and our lives everyday. I hope you guys enjoy!

JULIE ARAICA Executive Editor

THE TEAM EDITORIAL Julie Araica, Executive Editor

arts@thedailycougar.com

erin davis, Assistant Editor

artsassist@thedailycougar.com

maya dandashi, Assistant Editor

artsassist2@thedailycougar.com

DESIGN sonny singh, Creative Director

ame@thedailycougar.com

WRITING jon newell rukaiya batliwala tris pedro chris benett tiffany brown

PHOTOGRAPHY jon newell

COVER julie araica

VIDEO reem al-bishah, Producer

ADVERTISING For advertising inquiries email csmadvertising@uh.edu @COOGLIFEMAG

COOGLIFE

@COOGLIFEMAG

The Six Umbrella Sexualities

Queer This term was commonly used as a slur until it was reclaimed by the LGBTQ+ community. It is still a very ambiguous word that can mean many things. A queer person does not conform to traditional gender or sexuality norms.

STORY BY MAYA DANDASHI ART BY SONNY SINGH

Sexuality has no deﬁnite line. Nor can we really claim how many diﬀerent types of sexualities there are, but there are six general “umbrella” sexualities.

Homosexual

Bisexual

Pansexual

Gay or lesbian, homo meaning “same”.

Bi translates to two.

Pan means “all”.

Those who are Those attracted attracted into to people their same sex. of the same or different gender than their own.

Asexual

Someone who does not experience sexual People attracted attraction on to all genders any level. including Asexuals can intersex, experience transgender, emotional or and romantic genderqueer attraction, and individuals. even arousal.

Heterosexual “Straight”, hetero meaning “other or different”. This is generally seen as one who is attracted to someone different than themselves. This is the most accepted form of sexuality within our society.

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FIVE DATING APPS TO TRY when you’re sick of the Tinder grind

STORY AND ART BY ERIN DAVIS

Maybe you’ve been swiping for months or perhaps your coffee has yet to meet a nice bagel. Well-known dating apps are notorious for being oversaturated with folks who may not be looking for the quite the same things that you are. Due to Tinder’s popularity, there’s a number of alternatives that are both free and utilize its same familiar interface. Depending on your priorities when it comes to dating, there’s likely to be an app developed specifically for what you’re looking for. You never know where you’re going to meet your match.

for the women who want to make the first move bumble

If you’re a woman who’s tired of getting harassed online, Bumble offers a bit of relief in that in male to female matches, only women can message first. Not only that, but if you don’t message a match within twenty-four hours, that match will disappear. This can help to keep things from getting too overwhelming. Bumble is also unique in that it’s popular to use in order to find friends; not just romantic partners.

6 COOGLIFE // JANUARY 2018

for your dream cutemeet Happn The basis of Happn is that it only shows you people who have come within a 250-meter radius of you, making it easier to match with those who you might have had a brief encounter with. In spite of the somewhat intimidating big brother aspect of this app, it can be a helpful tool to use for those food-court crushes. At the very least, you know that you’ll be dating someone close by, which makes things extra convenient.

for when you want something serious how about we Undeniably original in its premise, How About We is an app that focuses on the actual first date rather than the people you match with. While this app is not one that it used a by a lot of people, this can be a plus if you’re looking for something more serious. It also caters to a more creative crowd of potential suitors that are willing to meet, which isn’t always the case with classic dating apps such as OkCupid. The interface is simple, and makes for positive and unique experiences.

for the music nerds tastebuds

If you can’t imagine dating someone who doesn’t like the same music as you, then Tastebuds has you covered. Matches are based on those who share similar music tastes, which can be a huge plus if music is an important thing in your life. Even though a massive playlist might not give you the most holistic picture of someone’s personality or your compatibility with them, it can always be a great way to find people to go to shows or gigs with.

for the social media obsessed loveflutter

Even though this app is similar to Tinder in most ways, it pulls more information from your social media to make a better match. Tweets and interests make it feel a bit less shallow than just scrolling through someone’s Instagram, and the aim of Loveflutter is to give you a better idea of who the person is based on their online activity. While this could potentially be seen as a bit creepy, it’s definitely more thorough than a gallery of profile pictures.

Have questions about sex? Need condoms or dental dams?

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Relationship Sex Vs. Hookup Sex STORY AND ART BY JON NEWELL

When it comes to sex, it doesn’t always go down like it does in the movies. Let’s face it — sometimes sex can be awkward, unsatisfying or plain out no fun at all. And of course sex can be an experience better than any cinematic portrayal is capable of. For some the best sex is hookup sex and for others it’s with his or her significant other. We asked 50 people, half in a relationship and half single what they thought and this is what we came up with. 8 COOGLIFE // JANUARY 2018

40 percent of people thought hookup sex was better, 10 percent of those people were in a relationship. “It depends on the girl, but generally hookups are more exciting, definitely (with) strangers much less awkward.” — M.A.

100 percent thought that co-workers would be the worst, 40 percent thought strangers is the best and 60 percent thought friends/friends with benefits is the best hookup sex.

Only 20 percent thought hookup sex is more satisfying/fulfilling than relationship sex.

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“In my opinion ‘better’ is a matter of chemistry, and sometimes that’s with a friend

100 percent of those who did say

that hookup sex was more satisfying/ fulfilling were not in a relationship.

or even a stranger. It’s a spark that ignites and I think very few are lucky enough to have that raw sexual chemistry as well as passionate love chemistry a relationship requires. As far as satisfying/fulfilling, relationship sex takes the cake. There’s honestly and trust, and if you’re lucky enough love is involved which takes everything to another level. It’s the physical manifestation of love.” — A.S. 10 COOGLIFE // JANUARY 2018

75 percent thought fulfillment was more important than satisfaction.

25 percent who thought satisfaction was more important than fulfillment were from those in relationships.

“I think it depends on the status of your relationship. Relationship sex can be more can be more meaningful but hook up sex can be more satisfying without the emotional baggage.” — T.R.

Breaking the silence — let’s talk about sexual assault BY RUKAIYA BATLIWALA

The time is up for women to stay quiet about sexual misconduct. On Oct. 5, 2017, The New York Times published an article reporting 30 years of sexual allegations against Academy Award Winning Film Producer Harvey Weinstein, revealing to the public a much darker side of Hollywood. Shortly following the release of this information, Weinstein was ﬁred from his namesake company. The incident with Weinstein has sparked what many coin as the “Weinstein effect,” a global trend that has inspired many others to

@UHSMARTCOUGARS

come forward and accuse powerful people of sexual misconduct. One of the biggest catalysts for people to come forward about their experiences with sexual assaults has been the #MeToo movement. Hollywood actresses and other women around the world have used this hashtag on social media to give themselves a platform to tell their stories. The #MeToo movement is encouraging all women who have been sexually harassed — be it at a party, at school or at the workplace — to come forward and speak out against it.

In 2017, Times Magazine named “The Silence Breakers” as its person of the year. “The Silence Breakers” representing all the people who came forward and reported sexual misconduct that year. At the 2018 Golden Globes, the celebrity-driven “Time’s Up” campaign took center stage, with the majority of women wearing black dresses to show their support for all the women who have spoken out against sexual misconduct and to tell men like Weinstein out there that their “Time’s Up.”

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STORY BY CHRIS BENNETT ART BY JULIE ARAICA

Hip Hop, a culture based in excess, glamour and rebellion, is constantly at the epicenter of criticism and controversy. One of the biggest arguments in regard to the genre of music is its constant theme of misogyny. Hip Hop started off as a political response recalling stories and struggles of marginalized individuals, especially African American’s, but today Hip Hop has become widely commercial and many times appropriated throughout the music industry. With the introduction of women in Hip Hop — posing nude on urban covers, and dancing suggestively in rap videos — many would insist that Hip Hop culture and the fetishizing of the feminine 12 COOGLIFE // JANUARY 2018

body feeds into the downfall of women in society, and I agree. Rap music is a form of poetry written by a person blindly envisioning themselves reaching the most exaggerated existence of their being. When you start life with nothing, you dream of having everything. The American Dream to the deferred eye includes having a big house, big car and a gazillion women. And when I say women, I’m not talking about any type of woman, but a caricature or fantasy of what a man feels a woman should be. These women are usually depicted in the media as being sidepieces, arm candy or accessories to their male counterparts, and the history behind this depiction isn’t to be blamed on the rapper alone. In 1982 Ronald

Regan enforced the War on Drugs, which was used as a political tool to target certain groups of people (mostly black people and the hippies of this time era) in order to crush their chances of one day achieving the American Dream. The War on Drugs occurred during the infancy of Hip Hop, molding a genre of pro-violence in response to what was happening around them. This is where the world begins to see the introduction of drugs, money and sex in rap. The same way African American men struggled to make it in the ghetto, women did as well. With the unemployment rate skyrocketing, many individuals were left with no other choice than to do illegal jobs in order to make ends meet.

Prostitution, stripping, drug dealing and gang banging became common forms of income in the hoods of America. Politics, media and capitalism have a huge impact on the Hip Hop community and music industry at large. The idea of selling sex has made the entertainment industry billions of dollars. It’s imperative to understand the imagery associated in correlation to sex, and Hip Hop is a false depiction of reality. Busty, long haired and lighterskinned women are commercialized as more beautiful, while others are left at the wayside further perpetuating a fickle idea of cool. Unfortunately, these thoughts become imprinted in the minds of young individuals, creating a cycle of

lethal ignorance. Portraying women in this provocative way is nothing new in terms of what Hip Hop has and continues to present. Acknowledging these circumstances, you begin to see why some perceive this as OK. Depending on your perspective it would be in the best interest of the viewer to understand Hip Hop symbolism as entertainment and a heightened condition of one’s life experiences. These experiences are often used to generate capital rather than portray actual stories of what ghetto life is like. Women, like many times in society, are used as pawns to generate attention and excitement sometimes, at the sake of their own morality.

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I should not be turned on by that — The science behind fetishes STORY BY TRIS PEDRO ART BY JON NEWELL

Once considered to be taboo and practically synonymous with mental illness, fetishes have gradually become more widely accepted - or at least acknowledged and privately frowned upon — but remain mostly a mystery in terms of how and why they develop. Since a fetish isn’t generally advertised by a person, an exact “science of the fetishes” has yet to

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come into fruition. We know that the limbic system of the brain regulates sexual arousal, motivation, memory and reinforcement of memory, and the control of sexual function. We also know that the release of neurotransmitters in the pleasure center activates the reward circuitry in the brain, which motivates all human behaviors including the sexual ones. These two systems in the brain are the factories for fetishistic development. However, the external factors of fetish development are not quite as easily pinpointed and any theories regarding this aspect of fetishes remain just that — theories. One such theory, conducted youtube.com/CoogTV

by the research of Vilayanur Ramachandran, is called brainoverlap theory. According to this theory, the areas of the brain that control sexual parts and impulses may interact, or overlap, with the areas of the brain that control other appendages and emotion causing a fetish associated with the adjacent region. Since the brain’s foot region is in close proximity to the brain’s genitalia region, this theory may explain why foot fetishes are so common. Another theory, called the pain theory, attributes some of the more extreme fetishes to the similarity of brain chemicals released during pain and sexual pleasure — endorphins and serotonin. The chemical ties of these two sensations may cause an association of pain with pleasure thus inducing a fetish for physical harm, which the BDSM porn industry thrives upon. Researchers have also found that Ivan Pavlov’s theory of classical conditioning can be applied to the development of fetishes which brings us to our next theory: the Pavlovian theory. According to this theory, repeated

exposure to a certain object while sexually aroused may cause a sexual association to form around the object itself. A study conducted in the 1960s proved this theory by showing a group of men images of naked women alongside pictures of boots. Gradually, the naked women were replaced with more and more pictures of boots until all that was left were (what must have been really sexy) boot pictures. The result: a group of men with boot fetishes, sans naked women. Lastly, we have the “grossout” theory. This theory claims that, when in a state of heightened

sexual arousal, our perception

“If you suddenly find yourself turned on by a toaster, just know that you’re not alone.” of what is “disgusting” tends to become more liberal. Things we normally find repulsive may not

seem quite so when we’re highly aroused. We might also be more likely to engage in sexual acts we would, at the very least, think twice about considering ordinarily. This might lead to a repetition of said act and voila, a fetish is born. If the Internet has taught me anything during my research for this article, it’s that there is a fetish out there for just about anything. So if you suddenly find yourself turned on by a toaster, just know that you’re not alone. And if you’re wondering why the hell you’re turned on by a toaster, hopefully one of the theories above can help you figure that out. COOGLIFE // JANUARY 2018 15

The sexual identity revolution of the fashion industry

STORY BY TIFFANY BROWN ART COURTESY OF MARCUS SABININ

16 COOGLIFE // JANUARY 2018

The revolution of sexual identity and gender fluidity has left the social media realm and infiltrated mainstream America in the past few years. Generations Y and Z have repelled the unrealistic and glossy images of CIS identified airbrushed models, and have gravitated toward advertisements that reflect the real, average person; comfortable with their imperfections. Businesses always check the pulse of the current trends of America, and with this new upheaval in liberal social identity, it has slowly been spilling into the modeling and fashion industries. Marcus Sabinin is a Ukranian model currently living in Houston. He’s been pursuing his dream in the modeling industry for one year, but it has taken longer for him to become confident in his sexual identity and self-esteem. “I used to be super shy with people when I was shooting. I thought people might think something of me”, said Sabinin. “But I soon got over it. For example I got featured in OUT, one of the biggest gay magazines in the world. My mother sent the lookbook photoshoot to all of my relatives and family friends. I was completely fine with it and it’s nothing that I should be ashamed of.” Being 20-years-old, Sabinin recalls his years in Ukraine that had given him a hard time modeling and lowered his confidence in his sexuality as a male model.

“Growing up in Ukraine, everything is super conservative. Male modeling is not even a thing there; there is no male models. It’s starting to change right now, but when I was growing up if you wear skinny jeans you’re gay, if you wear earrings you’re gay, if you even listen to indie rock you’re gay. So that’s why deep inside of me, I didn’t feel confident while modeling. But not I’m completely over it. I mean, who cares what

“When I was growing up if you wear skinny jeans you’re gay, if you wear earrings you’re gay, if you even listen to indie rock you’re gay.” people think. I think being a male model is cool.” The fashion industry is currently seeing an upheaval of skinny, airbrushed models and a renaissance of models whom are real and imperfect; from brands featuring armpit hair and plus sized women, to companies like the lingerie brand Aerie vowing to not airbrush their models. Consumers have tired of seeing

advertisements of models whom have unrealistic bodies, and instead want to see imagery that is a reflection of them and people in everyday society; including the various sexual identities that more people are comfortable in revealing. Local brands like BKBT Concept are inspired by this gender inclusive revolution, with their brand stocking genderless designs from their own line and international designers. According to their website, social norms cannot determine gender roles, such as the way we dress, what we think or the things we consume. More companies are adopting this line in thinking, as well as their casting of models to reflect the recent open view on gender and sexual identity. As a working model in the industry, Sabinin has had a keen eye on this development. “It depends on the designer. Some still want the perfect body and face, but I shoot with more high fashion photographers and designers who want to show something new to the world. For instance I shot with Preston Douglas, and he had me in this top where he wanted to show off my long, skinny arms. But there has been a lot of models nowadays that have an interesting look. And I’ve even seen some brands that use an 80-year-old model because they want to show something new. They want to be different, and they want people to pay attention to their brand.” COOGLIFE // JANUARY 2018 17

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