March 2011 DC Beacon Edition by The Beacon Newspapers

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VOL.23, NO.3

Supporting families of the fallen

The kindness of strangers But she never forgot the kindness of her Arlington Lady. And several years later, as she wrestled with how best to honor her husband, she dug out the lady’s card. This is something I can do, she thought, not just for him, but for every soldier. “It doesn’t matter whether we are burying a four-star general or a private,” said Margaret Mensch, head of the Army ladies. “They all deserve to have someone say ‘thank you’ at their grave.” Mensch is sitting at her desk in the

AP PHOTO/JACQUELYN MARTIN

By Helen O’Neill Joyce Johnson remembers the drums beating slowly as she walked with her girls from the Old Post Chapel, behind the horse-drawn caisson carrying the flagdraped casket of her husband. She remembers struggling to maintain her composure as she stared at his freshly dug grave, trying not to dwell on the terrible sight in the distance — the gaping hole in the Pentagon where he had so proudly worked. The three-volley salute. Taps. The chaplain handing her a perfectly folded flag. The blur of tributes. And then a lady stepped forward, a stranger, dressed not in uniform but in a simple dark suit. She whispered a few words and pressed two cards into Johnson’s hands. “If there is anything you need ...” Then she melted back into the crowd. Later Johnson would think of her as a touchingly, human presence in a sea of starched uniforms and salutes. She would learn that the stranger was an “Arlington lady” — one of a small band of volunteers, mainly spouses of retired military officers, who attend nearly every funeral in Arlington National Cemetery. She would read the notes — a formal one from the Army Chief of Staff and his wife, and a personal handwritten one from the Arlington lady herself. She would learn of their mission: to ensure no soldier is buried alone. Johnson wasn’t alone. In fact she felt as though an entire nation was grieving with her.

5 0 MARCH 2011

I N S I D E …

LEISURE & TRAVEL

The charm of yesteryear in rural Virginia; plus, surprising mystery trips, getting nickeled and dimed on cruises, and Bob Levey on when to share the wealth page 40

ARTS & STYLE

The songs tell the stories in the Ethel Waters biography His Eye Was on the Sparrow; plus, Dave Brubeck keeps the beat going at 90 Arlington ladies, such as Paula McKinley, right, add a comforting presence to the funerals of service members at Arlington National Cemetery, and lend support to the families afterwards. Here, McKinley stands by Ramish Gokool, who holds his son’s photo at the young Navy man’s funeral.

basement of the cemetery’s administration building in the small office shared by ladies from the Navy, Air Force, Army and Coast Guard. The place bustles with activity — young military escorts in dress uniform arriving to accompany ladies to funerals, chaplains scribbling eulogies in their tiny office across the hall, cemetery representatives ushering mourners into private rooms upstairs. There are approximately 30 funerals at Arlington every weekday, and the ladies attend all the military ones (though not the ones for spouses). Each lady has her own reasons and stories. There is Mensch, married to a retired

Army colonel, who oversees the mammoth task of organizing the schedules for her 66 Army ladies and who said attending the funerals is the greatest honor of her life. And Doreen Huylebroeck, a 63-year-old nurse who remembers how desperately she wanted an Arlington lady beside her when her own husband, a retired Navy officer, died three years ago. Also Janine Moghaddam, who at 41 is one of the youngest Arlington ladies, and who felt a desperate need to serve her country in some small way after Sept. 11, 2001. And Johnson herself. She treks to the See ARLINGTON LADIES, page 37

page 55 LAW & MONEY k Is it too late to buy stocks? k Muni bonds for the long term

FITNESS & HEALTH 13 k New blood test for cancer k How to save at the pharmacy VOLUNTEERS & CAREERS

SPOTLIGHT ON AGING k Newsletter for D.C. seniors

LIFETIMES k From the Charles E. Smith Life Communities

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